Chapter Four

Xena looked confused as she sat there in the moonlight next to Gabrielle by the water. "Alright, tell me how it is that you and I are together," she urged.

"It's because I made a wish. I wished with all my heart and my dream came true," Gabrielle said.

"Remember when Alti came to the camp and I warned you about her. She was about to put a terrible curse on your unborn son. I had to save Solan. Had she put that curse on Solan, he would have grown up without his father's love as well as his mother's."

"I do remember. But how did you know that? Do you have the gift of prophecy?"

Gabrielle shook her head. "No, not in the sense you are thinking. It's something deeper and much more complex. Something I am struggling to explain. I have tried telling you, but I don't know how you'll react. Will you think I have lost my mind?"

"I am listening, Gabrielle. Just be honest with me."

Gabrielle gazed into Xena's eyes which were midnight blue in that moment. The look of love in that gaze gave her the courage that she hadn't had before. She had to do this. Xena must know the truth.

"I have loved you before... in another place, in another time. In that other time and place, you saved me from slave traders. We became traveling companiions. Hercules, the son of Zeus had helped you see some light and you were trying to overcome your darkside. You had decided to give up your warlord ways, but moments later, you found Lila, my mother, and me and you rescued us from our captors. I snuck away to be with you. During our travels, we got closer and we fell in love. From the very first time I looked into your eyes, something magical happened. It was as if I had found my destiny. Many times you had to fight the darkness, but my love and light always helped you see it through. Eventually, we became lovers."

Staring at Gabrielle with intensity, Xena knew instinctively that her beloved was telling the absolute truth. "How... how could that be?" she asked.

"Xena, this place and time is much different, yet so much is still the same. I wasn't there when you were carrying Solan. You were still very much entrenched in the ways of warlord. You were driven to destroy as many nations as possible. Ares, the God of War, had you under his power. There was a battle in Corinth and Borias was killed after the evil Alti cursed your unborn child. Although it broke your heart, you decided that Solan could be harmed by your enemies, so despite how much pain it cost you, you took him to someone you trusted, and you gave him up to be raised by someone who was not a warlord."

"No," Xena said with aching sadness. "How could I?"

"Because you loved him. Because it was the only way you could keep your baby safe."

Tears slid down Xena's cheeks as nausea rose in her throat. "How could I live a life without my baby boy... without Solan? Did I- did I ever see him again?"

Now it was Gabrielle's turn to cry. "You took me to meet him. But he didn't live long past ten summers. He died and it was all because of me."

"What do you mean?"

"I had a daughter, a child conceived when I was attacked by the evil Dahok. The child, a girl I named Hope was evil, too, and she killed your son. You told me to destroy her... you wanted to do it yourself, but I betrayed you, Xena. I let her live and she killed Solan."

Hot tears rushed down Gabrielle's face as she relived the agonizing pain of that other place and time. "After Solan's death, I gave Hope poison. What happened after that was awful. As much as we loved each other, we almost didn't survive the agony and the betrayal. Our hearts were hurting, but somehow, someway, we made it back to each other and our love grew to be even stronger. We had many more adventures."

"But something happened. Tell me how we got here... to this place and time?"

"We'd been together five years and by then, we realized we were soulmates. More than friends, more than lovers. We were everything to each other. We never became official lifemates as we are now, but we shared the same karmatic path. Sometimes we dreamed about our other lives together. Being together was our destiny. Remarkably, although we had no other lovers, you announced there was to be a baby. I was never sure how or why, but you were with child. It was like magic. I delivered her. I was the first one to gaze into her eyes. You gave her the name Eve."

"Eve," Xena spoke, testing the name on her lips. "We had a daughter?"

"Yes, she was ours. She looked like a blend of the two of us. We were raising her together. We even went to live in the Amazon village for awhile. A young Amazon was shot with an arrow while I tried protecting her and she had given me her rite of caste. The Amazons considered me their queen. Despite all of that, we didn't stay long. You and I were always on the move, fighting for the greater good. The Gods, however, had other plans. They wanted our little Eve to die, because after her birth, you had the power to kill Gods. Eve had brought about the Twilight of the Gods and she was destined to tell the world about The One God. She was the messenger of Eli."

"What happened to her? Where is Eve?"

Gabrielle shook her head, tears stinging at her eyes. "I don't know. You and I had to go into hiding for 25 years and when we came back, she was all grown up. Ares was influencing her. She was going by Livia and she had became a monster. She killed our dearest friend. But we never gave up on her, because like you, we vowed we'd help her overcome her darkside. And she did. When we left on our last journey together, Eve was still spreading the word of Eli. I never saw her again."

Xena pulled Gabrielle close in a comforting hug. "It's alright, little one. Somehow this all resonates with me, somewhere deep inside. Although I cannot remember, I feel every word you speak as if it were a dagger in my own heart. Please go on."

"Now I get to the hardest part. Xena, you died. All I had left was your ashes in an urn. I tried to get you back, but all I got was one last kiss, then you were gone. There were no second chances. You were dead and I was dying inside from the loss of you. I got on a ship to return to Greece and that night as I held your urn against my chest, I prayed to the Gods, I prayed to The One God that Eve believed in, I prayed to whomever would listen that I wanted you back with me. I wanted to be with you again, even if it meant unspeakable pain and sorrow, or suffering. I wanted you back in any form. When I woke up, I was here, in this time and place, and Lila and I were being tormented by slave traders. You and Borias walked into the auction house that day... and you know the rest. So you see, I wanted this... all of it. I wanted YOU, Xena. You are my love and my soulmate and I never, ever want to be separated from you again. I could forgive you anything, just please, don't ever leave me."

Xena remembered a time after Solan's birth when she had begged Gabrielle not to leave her and the blonde had promised she never would. Wrapping her arms around her love, she said, "We are soulmates, lifemates; you're everything to me, Gabrielle. And I promise you I will never leave you. I am so sorry for all you've been through in this time and place as well as that other one so far away, the one only you can remember. I have no solid memories of it, but I feel as though it's real and every word you spoke as you told me of it has left me with this feeling I cannot explain. It's like I am missing something, needing it so desparately, but it's just out of reach. I'm sorry I can't remember and all the ways I hurt you then."

"You saved me, Xena," Gabrielle choked out. "I wouldn't be who I am if I'd never met you." Gabrielle placed a hand on her heart as she pulled back to look into the former Destroyer of Nations bright azure eyes.

"You saved me, too, in so many ways. From the darkness. From death itself. The love you had for me was so strong, it brought us here, to where we are now. Solan's here - healthy and alive. We have Elysia. We are joined. We have a whole life ahead of us."

"You're right," Gabrielle stated. "But I still miss Eve."

There were no words Xena could speak to ease that pain, the loss of a child. In order for her and Solan to be alive and well, Gabrielle's prayers of grief had brought them to this place, but there had been a cost. Their daughter Eve did not exist.

"We should try to get some rest now. We can talk more about this at another time," Xena urged, standing up and helping her soulmate to rise.

"Hold me so tight," Gabrielle whispered as they slipped into the warmth of the shelter with their children.

"I'll never let you go." Xena's fingers became entangled in Gabrielle's golden hair as the blonde lay her head over the sound of Xena's heartbeat.

Xoooo

That night as they slept near the water, Xena had a dream. She saw her son Solan as a boy growing into manhood. He was tall, near to the same height as his mother, yet he was still blond. He wore a silver band around his hair and carried his father's sword. He sat beside a grave, his face wet with his tears. When she looked down at the figure of her son, kneeling beside the grave, Solan was speaking solemnly to his father.

Staring at Borias's grave, Xena felt a stab deep within. It was unfair that he'd been murdered. There was fire all around her as she remembered the circumstances and the sound of an infant's cry. Suddenly then, she looked over at Gabrielle, the young woman she had saved near Potidaea. As the sun shone brightly on the two people she loved the most, Xena felt her heart soar.

"You killed my father," Solan said bitterly as he looked up at Xena. "Because of you, my mother and my father are dead."

Xena longed to cry out that she didn't kill his father and that it was she who was his mother, but those words were stolen from her. Solan must never know she had given birth to him. She must protect his life at any cost. Still, even knowing that Solan was safe living with his adopted father in the centaur village, Xena agonized for she longed for a life with her son.

But that wasn't to be. She had to let him go... to say goodbye somehow to her growing boy. It hurt her far worse than any pain she had ever imagined.

"Solan! Solan!" she cried out.

Lying next to Xena on the bedroll, Gabrielle gently prodded her beloved awake. "What is it?" she asked as she felt Xena's tears against her skin.

"I... I had a dream," Xena said, her heart beating so fast as the remanants of the dream still had a tight hold on her.

"About Solan?"

"Yes. And you. Solan... I had to let him go."

"All those things we talked about earlier; they have you so upset, Xena."

"No. I think it's more," she said as she began to describe the dream in perfect detail.

Listening to every word, Gabrielle stiffened in Xena's arms. "Did I... did I rescue you near Potidaea?" Xena questioned.

Gabrielle was stunned as she replied. "You did... and everything you've described about Solan and the first time you took me to meet him; that's exactly how it happened. But how - how could that be?"

"Because I'm your soulmate; that's how. I don't know how we got to this place and time, but that one - that one happened, too. I can feel it."

"How can they both exist, nearly parallel to each other? I never really understood how I wished while holding your ashes and my dream came true."

"Because we were meant to be together. Just accept it. All of it - the then and the here and now. Don't let it torture you. We are together, you and me, and that's all that matters. I don't know what the rest of the future holds for us, but we can face it together. I am glad you told me everything, because I am not afraid anymore. If the Amazons kick us from their village, we'll find a way to survive. As long as we are together, there's always hope."

Gabrielle clung to those words. She fell back to sleep in her soulmate's embrace, feeling so safe and completely loved.