Refuge in Audacity (Original/Isekai Chapter 1)

"...And so, you'll be reborn in another world. However given your karma, you will have no special power, grand talent or skill. You'll be the same as you were, as you are now."

It was a typical situation from an isekai story. I died, before stood a goddess and I was going to be reborn in another world.

Before me stood a goddess whose name I don't know and who was...fuck, more beautiful than any woman I've ever seen in my life. Well, past life but still. She was like a drawing come to life, yet rather than being a grotesque caricature of a person, she was just...perfect. There wasn't any other way to describe her.

Although she was practically naked, I couldn't actually see any nipple or pussy because the light around her would hide those areas like a sunlight censor bar. ...Seriously it was fucking bullshit. The chains on her wrists and ankles connected to the collar on her neck was just odd. They didn't really restrict her movement and it wasn't like she was uncomfortable by them.

I think the collar, cuffs and chains are by choice, but that just begged the question of why she would choose that as her...appearance? Attire? Her look basically.

She was patience while I stood in silence. Makes sense that she would have all the time in the world.

"Alright. Sure." I answered right away. Even if she had endless time and patience, that didn't mean I should waste it.

"Oh?" A perfectly crafted eyebrow was raised. "Truly? You accept, without shouting about unfairness? Or about how as you died in the middle of your past life, your second life should be better?"

"W-well," I chuckled despite trying to act formal in front of the hot deity. ...I really hope she isn't reading my mind. "I a-a-am getting a second life. I'm not really, um, seeing the unfairness here. Although..." I trail off as something came to mind.

"Yes?" Her eyes now had an edge to them. Nothing in her facial expression changed, but there was a bit more focus in her eyes, rather than the relaxation and laziness that was there before.

"I'm, I... I'm keeping my memories...right?" The worrying though just came as I was talking. If my memories and experiences of my last life was gone, then wouldn't I just make the same mistake and have the same regrets as before.

"You will. I wouldn't bother with this conversation if it was for a blank-slate reincarnation."

"Oh," I let out a breath in relief. "Thenyeah, I mean, yeah." I smiled back at her. "I'm good with that. Having my memories is enough, as long as my next life doesn't start out too difficult," fuck, did I just jinx myself. "I'm, I'll, I think I'll be able to manage and learn as I go."

"And if it is?" She tilted her head. "If your new life starts on a poor star?"

"I..." A weight fell in my stomach, as worry came back stronger. "I guess...I'll just do my best then." That's not fair. My mind conjured an image of poverty, of banditry and slavery. The image was too extreme, but my mind just kept bringing up worst case scenarios. Cold fear spread in my chest, that she may do that to me for some slight I didn't see. "I'll find something, and...and try to make things better for myself, and hopefully find a bit of happiness." I don't want an easy life, but I don't want to suffer either.

"I see." She smile. Even if I didn't want it to, I felt her smile warm my heart and push my unease away. "Do not fear, human. I am not so cruel as to make your new beginnings arduous, and your karma is nowhere near so terrible." I felt my shoulders relax, I didn't even realize I was so tense. "Humility, humbleness." She continued, and for her tone I felt that this is something I needed to pay extra attention to. "You would be surprised at how little I've been finding these qualities in reincarnators."

"..." I didn't say anything and just kept listening. I felt anything I would say now would be stupid or sound like asskissing.

"I like you," She smiled like a kind mother. A very sexy mom--Seriously brain, what the fuck? "So for your temperament thus far I will grand you a boon. A skill or ability you wish to have. Nothing extraordinary, but anything mundane I will grant."

"Huh..." I crossed my arms and looked down, well away from her to not be distracted, this required focus. "Please give me a moment, well not literally a moment but--"

"Take your time." She said with calm amusement, and with that I went back to brainstorming.

Something mundane. No superpowers. Something that an everyday person has but I don't. Not everyone has the same skills, but there are some skills that a lot of people have. Like public speaking. Maybe not everyone has that, but it's a mundane skill, right?

What about better balance? I should never walk on a rope or stand on my hands? ...The fuck would I use that ability for? I'm not joining the circus!

Wait, what about parkour? That assume I'll be running a lot. If I become a villager, I don't think I need that.

What about something mental and not physical? Like mind read--No wait, that's dumb. That's a superpower. Occlumency from Harry Potter? No stupid, still technically a superpower. Super Meditation? Wait, it has super in the name? Seriously brain, work better.

Better thinking? Is that a thing? I can't envision it. Is that like solving math problem better? You don't need super math skills for everyday life. Simple math is enough for most things.

Come on, think! Something within the realm of normal people. Something that improves your everyday life if you have it.

"Hmm," The goddess hummed and my attention was instantly back on her to see if she wanted something. "Interesting."

"Um, what is, your, um I'm not sure how to address you. M-miss Goddess?" She stared at me blankly. "Madam Goddess? Your Majest--No that doesn't work. Your Holine--That doesn't sound right either."

She laughed. She covered her mouth and gave a small, elegant, lady-like laugh that echoed merriment into eternity.

"What is interesting," she began explaining. "Is that you didn't start asking me for the limits to my boon? You didn't start quizzing me on what you can and cannot gain. Munchkining, I believe is the term."

I began to shrug before stopping mid-action, and stood normally. Not sure if shrugging and acting casual was rude or not. "If it's something not mundane, and um, isn't allowed, I figured you would tell me, and I'll just pick something else." I said. "I'm trying to think of something mundane, like you said. Something that is within the limit of normal people, but anyone can maybe get. I thought about public speaking and other stuff, but I'm not sure that's what I really want." I stopped when I felt myself beginning to babble.

"Hmm," She held a finger against her cheek. "Then let me ask you another question. What do you regret from your past life? Something you wished you could do if you had the freedom and ability to do? How do you wish you could have lived?"

"I..." An image came to mind. I stopped and looked down, trying to formalize my thoughts.

"Speak freely, child of man. Speak freely and without reservations, I promise I will not be insulted. In fact I don't care for formality," she chuckled. "So simply just tell me what's on your mind?"

"Okay, um..." Speak freely, don't worry about anything, right? Well, nothing to lose, I guess.

"Yes," she eagerly encouraged me. Her smile seems a bit more amused now, like she was about to see something fun.

I tried for articulate my thoughts again, before just giving up and saying things as they came.

"I wanted my life to be ridiculous."I realized how dumb that sounded the instant I said it, but for once in this discussion, decided to keep going. "I wanted to live some stupid, ridiculous grand life." I began talking and everything just came out. "I wanted to be a rockstar, to have orgies, to maybe do drugs. Not get addicted, but just try it. I learned the guitar you know? But I never bother to continue after the basics, but I told myself 'it's not like I'll ever write a good song, you know'. I wanted to go on stupid, crazy adventures and come back from it with awesome stories. To maybe be in a dangerous situation, and do something cool and help someone or people. To, to," I waved my arms around, trying to summon more words to explain.

"To have a life that wasn't copy-paste of hundred of thousands of everyone else, who just wakes up, go to work, come back home, rinse and repeat. To have those moments of extreme hype and fun that you'll remember forever. Maybe not everyday, but many times. I only had moments like that maybe five, six--No, four times in my whole life! I mean, is that normal? Was everyone like that? That's fucking depression!" I shouted out, and made sure not to look at the goddess, lest her disapproving look stop me. Maybe she wasn't looking at me with disapproval but I didn't want to risk it.

"I wanted to be brave, to just, to just not feel like I was hating myself half my life, for things I didn't do. Things I didn't get the chance to do." I added to clarify. "I guess if I wished for an ability," it was like my mind was clear and everything rushed to make a picture of what I wanted. "I would wish for something that makes me not doubt myself. No wait, that's not exactly it. No, it would be something that makes me follow through on things. No fuck, not that. It's just, I want..." The right words aren't coming quick enough. It's at the edge of my tongue but I can't quite make it. "It's like, being able to say stuff without stutter. When you're talking about important stuff. Giving a speech, or telling someone you l-love them, or trying to convince someone that what you're saying is true and isn't a lie, and that you're just nervous when your talking because you're worried that they will think you're lying, even though you really are telling the truth."

I'm rambling. I'm rambling, fuck, get to the point!

"I mean, I just, I don't want an iron will, or indomitable determination to withstand a thousand year of pain. That's superhuman and a no no, but I want a strong will to follow through on what I say or promise. Not to be stubborn or inflexible, I want to be able to change and correct things, if I get something wrong, or if a better option to a situation turn up. I want to at least be confident."

And then it hit me.

"Yeah, I just, I just want to be self-confident. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's...what I was circling around for." My voice went into a whisper toward the end. I could feel my ears burning. Fuck, was that look stupid? ...'was that look stupid?' Is that even a sentence?

Silence permeated the space we were standing in. I slowly looked up to the goddess, trying to take peeks at her face to see her reaction. The instant I actually saw her face, my eyes were glued to it.

Her eyes were sparkling. There was a shine in them, not physically (metaphysically?) but like an interest. Maybe a bit of pride, or...was I deluding myself?

"I see," Her smile was side and welcoming. "You are granted this boon." She stated and I felt as if chains were lifted off my shoulders. She looked to the side and sudden we were standing in space. Thankfully I could feel a platform or something under me, so I wasn't falling. Although I stayed very still in case I was standing on something, and it wasn't just her power holding me up. I followed her gaze to see a world.

At first look, it was like Earth, but quickly the difference started to show up, in how the continents looked, and the water and wind looked in some placed. Wait, if I can see that hurricane from space, doesn't that mean it's fucking colossally massive from the ground?

"This is my world, Almorria." She said with clear pride. "The world is like those fantasy stories your read, with sword and magic, and even a game-like interference." She turned back to me, and I felt something...glow? in me. That was the best way to describe it.

A game screen appeared in front of me.

Personal Info:

Name: (New name not registered yet)

Age: (Yet to be born)

Condition: None

Stats:

Strength: 0

Durability: 0

Dexterity: 0

Speed: 0

Mental Calculation: 0

Memory Capacity: 0

Aether Control: 0

Mana Capacity: 0

Skills:

None

Traits:

Firm Stride: A leap of faith. The confidence of madmen. The ability to not hesitate once a decision is made, and to walk forward with open eyes.

"Huh, that's different." I said looking at how different the stat system is from the games I played. I smiled as I looked at the trait I had now. "Cool." I felt a grin stretch on my face.

"Obviously," the goddess's voice brought my attention back to her. "I believe that some abilities could be numbered, and some shouldn't be."

"Shouldn't?" My lips twisted as I listened, intrigued at why she made her game interface system the way it is.

"Strength, Defense, Agility. Those are easy to quantify. Magic amount and ability to use, also the same. But Intelligence? That's subjective, some of the smartest people can do pretty dumb things. So are they really smart or just able to memorize a lot and run their thoughts more than normal, connecting more ideas that average people."

"Okay," I nodded, so far that makes sense.

"Luck, well, is that something really calculated, or isn't it just probability manipulation at that point. Either way, there is no need to quantify such a thing."

"Alright," so that's the physical stats, the magic stats, and half the mental stats. "What about Wisdom?"

"To show such a thing is to deny it." I didn't get it at first, but she quickly continued. "If one person has a Wisdom of 10, and another had a Wisdom of 20. Is one really wiser than the other? Isn't that just bragging? And does bragging show your wisdom? To be wise is to realize you don't know everything and to constantly seek to learn. Giving it a number would just demotivate people to seek wisdom, as they would think they are better based purely on those numbers."

"Wouldn't that be the same for other stats?"

"Maybe, but those ones, you can easily think of ways to improve and see your progress in improving them. Wisdom however, that requires living. It is not something easy to grasp and that's the point of it."

I didn't fully get it (maybe it's because I'm not wise?), but the point is, "So, it would be bad for society if people objectively could tell whose wiser than who?"

"You more or less got it."

I nodded, and looked at my stat sheet.

"What about HP and MP?"

"If you get stabbed you die. The magic stats covers that."

"Oh, right." The MP part makes sense, but the HP part... "I don't mean to bother you but why isn't there a health bar, I mean, I get there are various factors that determine health but couldn't you account for those?"

"Sure I could." She nodded. "But mortals do not, and should not live in constant security bubble and safety nets, so I will not provide those. Yes, a HP meter would provide such a thing. It would cause people to treat life, there's and others, with less value than it really is."

I thought of a nobleman wiping a servant and stopping when the HP is low, because he knows what will not kill him. 'People will be assholes anyways', the words crossed my mind but I don't voice them.

"Okay," I nodded satisfied with the explanation. I looked back to my stat sheet I wondered how to dismiss it. It closed. Huh, thought activated. Neat.

"Now then, I suppose it is time to sent you to your new life." She still looked patience and calm, but I guess, there is nothing else to do now.

"Yeah. Thank you for everything, your, um, fuck. I still don't know how to address you." I sheepish smiled and shrugged.

"If you need to address me, it is as 'Your Divine Radiance', or 'Your Divine Justice'." She said like a teacher.

"Makes sense." I nodded. Given the light behind her and all. "But, errr, I still don't know your name? Um, your Divine Radiance." Although 'Divine Justice'? Is Justice one of her domains?

"My name is Everita Vertus." I felt a pulse, like the world was breathing. I am the Goddess of Twilight. The Goddess of Daybreak. The Goddess of Struggle, and the Goddess of Fate."

With every domain revealed, I felt a stronger sense of awe wash over me. As if it was only held back by my ignorance. I no longer felt fear or worry from being in her presence. I felt humbled, that whatever difficultly my next life would be, there would always be a solution, and that I should have faith in that.

"Now let your new life begin--"

I fell.

I didn't hear her. I saw her mouth move and end on a smile.

I kept falling toward the world below, watching it as it got bigger and bigger. She meant my life would start right fucking now and I responded appropriately.

"OH FFUUUCCC--"

"WAAAAH WAAAAAH!" A baby wailed out.

"It's a boy, my Queen!" A woman cried.

"Let me...let me see him." A weaker woman pleaded.

I felt myself being moved. A tired warm smile filled my vision. I felt calm from her joyous smile. The whole scene would have been wonderful. Now if only the fucking baby would stop crying.

"My baby...My beautiful boy...It's okay...it's okay. I'm here...Don't cry." I felt her rock me, and began to calm down. Wait, am I the baby? I could feel my chest lungs moving wildly. I tried to slow that down--Oh, the noise is gone. Guess it really was me. "There, there...My Aidan...Your name..." I wanted to tell her to stop, to rest. She looked so weak, her eyes so heavy.

"My lady, you need your rest." Said the woman from earlier. A nurse? A mid-wife?

I ignored the other woman and focused on my mother. I'm here. I'm so happy to see you.

I managed a laugh and made her smile widen. It seemed to renew her strength for the moment, as she looked at me with resolution.

"Aidan Vealfas Rowan Atlas Chavagner. That is your name, and one day you'll King of Ereon. I love you, Aidan. No matter what fate or prophecy had dedicated, I love you and I don't regret bringing you to this world." I heard people sniff and sob next to me. Why are people crying? "Rule mightily and don't falter in the face of evil."

"My, my lady, just...please. Just try and hold o--"

"William," my mom turn to look at someone. Her voice became sharp as iron.

"Y-y-yes?" A voice that should have been masculine squeaked out.

"While you are Regent, you are to help and protect him. And if you fuck up his rule, I will crawl out of Aeboros and flay you!" My mom growled out like a lion. Holy fuck she sounded cool!

I giggle and she looked and smiled back at me.

"EEEEEKKK! Y-Y-YES MY QUEEN, I SWEAR!"

"I'm sorry my love." She cradled my head next to her. I could feel the heat from her cheek and...it was getting cold? Something is wrong. "I truly want to be with you, to see you grow, but this...is...goodbye."

Hey. Hey! Something is wrong. Hey, people! Anyone around, something is wrong.

"Remember...your father and I...fought the good fight, and we..."

The weeping increased. Stop crying and help her you useless fucks! No, no! Open your eyes. Hey, mom! MOM! OPEN YOUR EYES!

"Will forever love...you..."