9/18 - Fri - Iwatodai Dormitory - lobby - afternoon - Kazuki

Shizuka and I barge into the dorm, dripping wet from the rain. I'm trying to catch my breath between being exhausted from running and freezing my butt off. But

Shizuka doesn't look tired, let alone cold, just madly irritated by her damp clothes and hair.

Wanted to pop into a store and buy an umbrella, but wouldn't you know it, everything was closed.

Everyone else is sitting in the lounging area, watching us make our grand entrance.

"Looks like you guys were too slow," Jun greets us, wearing an exuberant smile.

"Tell me about it. My everything is all drenched!"

We join up with everyone else. Probably not the best time to take a seat. I'll just stand.

"A typhoon was reported to have hit," Fuu-chan reports with her computer on her lap. "...It's the largest one on record, and it's moving slowly, so it'll be here for a while."

"Yeah, thanks to that, the school, the school festival is canned. But seein' how we were gonna have to set up everything, I don't really care. Too bad we're stuck indoors…"

"School festival…?" I repeat aloud.

"Yeah. Settin' it up sounded like a pain in the ass." Wow, I didn't even think about the festival. I knew I was never going to be a part of them, it became natural for it to never take up my mind. "...What are you gonna do with your break, Kazu?"

I let out a carefree laugh. "Who knows? Maybe I'll hit up the manga-cafe."

"Dude, same here! You should tag along with me!"

"Cool!"

"What about you Shizu-chan?"

She faces him with a polite expression. It's scary how convincing it is. "I am unsure. With how unexpected this typhoon is."

"I get ya. But man, another break, how lucky!"

"Don't get comfortable," Sanada-senpai says. "We're still going to Tartarus."

"Don't worry! I'm always good to go there!"

"Yeah, me–" I sneezed aloud. "Oh…man."

Fuu-chan wears a worried look. "A-are you okay?"

"Yeah, but my nose–" Another loud sneeze rings in the lounge. "...My nose feels clogged."

"Maybe you're sick?" Yuka-chan guesses.

"N-no! I'm fine. I just–" A louder sneeze recoiled my head. "Ahh… I think I…I got a cold."

"You should go and sleep it off," Aragaki-senpai suggests

"Yeah…sleep…"

My body slumps up the stairs. My sniffles keep pestering me as I walk up to my room. I slip my hand through the opened door and flip on the lights. Fumbling into the room, my head suddenly becomes light, and my body sways in whatever way. Sleep…must…bed…

I throw off my wet clothes for my loungewear and crawl into the incredible warmth of my bed. Shivers raced down my body, fighting against the warmth hugging my body. But the real problem is this horrible headache. I can barely think straight with this shitty sensation.

Several, dull, minutes pass, but it feels like a lifetime. The storm outside is the only thing keeping me from going stir-crazy. Maybe playing games will help? Yeah right, not with this terrible headache. Manga isn't gonna do either! Am I gonna go crazy at this rate?

Suddenly, the door opens. Fuu-chan! Oh, thank God!

"Are you okay, Kazuki-kun?"

"No… My head is killing me, and my nose is a tad runny."

"You may have caught a cold," she says, trying to pass it off as a possibility, but she probably knows for certain.

"That's not good."

"You'll be fine, but you should lie still and keep yourself bundled up." She gently presses the palm of her hand on my forehead. "...You're burning up!"

"That's not…good."

"Don't worry. I'll prep a cold pillow and see if we have anything for a cold!"

"'Kay."

"I'll be right back." She hurries out of the room, leaving for a while. She reenters the room with some medicine. "Sorry! It took me a bit to find what you needed."

"No problem, but what about my pillow?"

"It's cooling right now. You'll have to wait a while."

"That sucks."

"Just lie down." She puts on a white medical mask. "Right now, I'll give you something for your headache and fever."

"Th–thanks…"

Fuu-chan hands me a pill. I put it in my mouth as she brings a cup of water over to me. Slowly gulping the cold drink, I swallow everything.

"That should do for now. Tell me if you feel anything else."

"Okay…"

She sits at the desk, opening her laptop. With this storm, she isn't going to access the internet. More importantly, why is she still here?

"Fuu-chan, I think…you…should go," I muster out.

"Why?"

"I'm kinda feeling sick, so…you should go."

Fuu-chan, even with half her face covered, reveals concern over my suggestion. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. But if something changes, I want to be able to help you as soon as possible." The cute smile I know all too well pops up, even if I can't see it. "...Besides, I…always wanted to take care of someone like this…someone I loved."

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! SO CUTE! GOD, BUDDHA, THANK YOU! I'd get up to hug and kiss her, but I'm sick and my head feels like crap.

"Embarrassing, right? I know it's childish, but that's what I've always wanted to do for someone… Supporting them through this, even if it isn't serious." She plays with her fingers, staring at her hands. "...Whenever I was sick, I had to take care of myself. My parents were always busy."

"That's not right."

"I know, but I never resented them for that… But, I can't say I wasn't lonely. But after a while, I got used to that too." She turns her chair around, facing me. "...You already know that me and my parents are distant, right?"

"How couldn't I?"

The day we confessed our feelings, and when we told each other our burdens.

"I never fit in at school. Since I was already put through rigorous studying, I was always able to do well in school, but I think that made it harder for me to make friends… That's all I was ever good at, even good for. When I was in middle school, I would get picked on. Nobody would say anything to me directly, but they would say how gloomy I was, and even make fun of me for being 'smart'."

"Shit…"

"...They weren't wrong. I was always miserable at home, and I never liked school because it reminded me how lonely I was. Teachers would call me smart, but that wasn't true. All I was ever good for was studying."

"But…what about electronics?"

"It isn't anything more than a hobby, and I can't say it's all that useful to anyone." She pitifully chuckles to herself. "...I was completely worthless."

"Fuu–"

Her hands are trembling, and her bleak expression worries me…

"Hey…I think I…some soup." I hope I know what I'm doing. "Can you…make some?"

"S-soup!? Okay! I'll go make you some right now."

"Great. Can't…wait…"

Whatever God is listening to, give me courage.

Fuu-chan hurries out the door with a brighter aura about her. I can't stomach her talking about herself like that, because it reminds me too much of myself… Gah! Thinking about the past is no good, for me or her. The here and now, that's all we need to think about! Yeah… Although, I'm not exactly looking forward to the soup that I'll be ingesting soon. All I can do is grin and bear it if I can.

Yet again, another agonizing amount of time flies by. Reading manga like this sucks, but there isn't anything better to do, and playing games won't be fun. Hopefully, Shizuka is all right. However, it'd be unfair if she was fine while I was stuck in bed with a headache and a fever.

The door slowly opens. Fuu-chan slips through with a single bowl on a tray. Steam rises from the bowl. Forget about that. This delectable smell is coming from the bowl!

"I brought your soup. " She blows into it repeatedly. "I'm g-g-gonna feed…y-y-yo-you!"

A peach-colored hue paints her cheeks as she brings the spoon closer. What's the big deal? Is she scared or something!? Now she's making me nervous!

"I…ne-never done this…before!"

"Feeding someone?"

"...Yes…"

Man, now we just look silly. Though, knowing Fuu-chan, she's taking this seriously, even if it's not a big deal; it is to her.

I wrap my mouth around the spoon, swallowing the soup. A hot, surprisingly delicious liquid races down my throat.

"Amazing!"

"Really!?"

"Yeah!"

"Then, here's more!"

She eagerly shoveled more spoonfuls of soup into my mouth, and I was more than happy to ingest every portion.

"You're really enjoying it, huh," Fuu-chan, amused at my willingness to eat, says.

"Good…very good."

"That means a lot to me. I know my cooking can be…subpar. That's why I kept practicing. So, it makes me happy knowing my efforts paid off."

"Fuu-chan…"

She worries about unimportant details, details that I wouldn't pay any mind to. But it's the amount of effort she puts into something like this that makes me admire her. Of course, I noticed her sheepish nature conflicts with this aspect of her at times. But that's like the pot calling the kettle black; my ass isn't exactly what you would call "smooth"

"What are you gonna do for tonight, Fuu-chan?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, where are you going to sleep? Can't be here since I'm sick."

"I was thinking of sleeping with Shizuka-san. She offered me her room while you recover."

"Hold up…she offered?"

She nods. "She said since you were sick, I would need to sleep somewhere else, so she asked me and I accepted."

"Wow, how generous."

Better remember to thank Shizuka next time I see her.

"Don't worry, I'll stay until I decide to go to bed."

"No…you should…go."

"Are you sure? Will you be fine on your own?"

"Yeah, yeah. Plus, I feel…bad."

As much as I enjoy her company, having her take care of me feels wrong, and if she gets sick because if me, then I'd be a proper jackass.

"...You don't need to feel bad, everyone gets sick once in a while," she says, slightly panicked.

"I guess… You know…I only got sick when I was…a kid." An image of my younger self flashes in my mind. I'm lying in bed, scrunched up in my old covers, lying on a cold pillow. "...Sick in bed, wasn't able to go to school. I loved it."

"You did?"

A raised eyebrow shows her bewilderment at the statement. I expected that, it's not like getting a cold is the best thing in the world, and even back then it was a miserable experience.

"No school…I didn't have to see my classmates, and I could be home all day reading manga and watching TV… It was the best. And…Naoya took care of me."

"That…must have been nice."

"Yeah, it was."

I gulp the last bit of the soup from the spoon. Fuu-chan collects the bowl and stands up. "...I think we should head off to bed." The digital clock says 10:34 P.M. "Especially for you. I want you to rest up as much as possible. If you wake up in the middle of the night and feel worse, come and wake me up. Also–"

"H-hey. Don't worry, I can take care of…myself."

"Oh, sorry. I just want to make sure you're fine."

"No, I meant that I didn't want to bother you so you could take care of me; definitely not in the middle of the night."

"But it's–" She catches her words, showing hesitance at pushing her stance. "You have a point… Okay, but rest up, and first thing in the morning, I'll come to check up on you, alright?"

"Got it."

She lifts her mask from her face and pecks me on my cheek.

"Hey, you know I'm sick, right?"

"I'll risk it. Besides, maybe then, if I get sick, you…can take care of me."

Fuu-chan, blushing from head to toe, silently closes the door behind herself, leaving me alone… I hope it doesn't happen, but I want her to come down with a cold!

…/Fuuka

Closing the door to my room, I walk a few feet before stopping in my tracks. Blood is rushing through my head, warming my face as I replay what I just said in that room…

I can't believe I just said that! I mean, there's nothing wrong with what I said, and I would love for him to take care of me, but– I…it's just… W-why am I getting embarrassed!? There was nothing else to it, and I certainly didn't mean it…like that! Oh, now I just sound stupid! I just hope he didn't take it the wrong way…

"Yamagishi." Kirijo-senpai graciously descends from the stairs, moving with absolute confidence and authority. "...How is Kazuki?"

"He came down with a cold. A few days worth of rest is all he needs."

"Good."

"Did you want to talk to him?"

"No, just you."

"Is it about Tartarus?"

"Indeed. Even with this typhoon, our enemies will not wait for us to grow stronger. I asked everyone if they wished to go tonight."

"They said yes?"

"Correct. Do you?"

I peer at my/Kazuki's room behind my shoulder. "I…"

"It's okay, I understand if you do not wish to go. It might be a while before we can go, and I was apprehensive at the idea of idling around. But we will not go if you are not able."

"Senpai, I…"

Kazuki would be by himself during the Dark Hour, and I don't like the idea of leaving him behind while he's sick… But, Senpai is looking to me to provide support. I don't want her to see me as unreliable, or to think I can't do what I'm meant to.

"...Senpai…let's go, tonight."

Her scarlet hair sways as she casts a glance toward me. "Very well. I will inform everyone to get ready. Met us downstairs."

"Okay."

Senpai takes her leave, her lovely hair mesmerizing me… I have no choice. Kazuki-kun should be fine without any assistance, and we'll be able to progress through Tartarus. But no matter what I tell myself, I can't shake the biting sense of guilt that I'm putting one thing over another. But, I have to; if I don't go, if I don't live up to everyone's expectations, if I don't use this power, then what good am I?

…

A static haze blocks my vision, there's no sound, and my body feels heavy. Through my impaired vision, a house towers over me. It's my old house; where me and my mother lived.

A horrible, spine-chilling sound bellows from the house; a woman screaming for her life. Mom… Mom!

I lunge forward, dashing up to the door. My hand grips the doorknob, but it won't turn. Come on, open damnit! Open, open, open, open, open… OPEN!

The door violently swings open. Immediate regret sinks into my stomach. A darkness, unlike any I have ever experienced, greets me at the door. Faceless and in humanoid form, it stares me down. Dread unlike any I have ever felt before, stronger than that of death, stabs at me like a thousand knives slowly digging deeper into my body.

It doesn't breathe, move, or even speak; just blankly staring at me with its bottomless void. My…face…why is my face…!?

9/21 Mon - Iwatodai Dormitory - evening - Kazuki

I sharply exhale. The darkness of my room almost tricks me into thinking I'm still asleep. My head…feels better. Not only that, but my sniffles are also gone. Never knew I'd recover this quickly, but hey, I'm not complaining. I grab my phone off my desk. 7:45 A.M., 9/21… I was out for two days!? Better tell everyone I'm feeling better.

I jump out of bed and immediately head out of my room. My body feels a tad sluggish from lying in bed for two days straight. Oddly enough, there aren't any residual symptoms. You'd think there would be something left to bother me, but nothing. Was sleep all I needed to recover this quickly? I guess it doesn't matter, I'm better, that's all that matters.

Jun and Yuka-chan are sitting in the lobby, their weapons encased covers like when we usually go to Tartarus.

"Hey, guys," I greet them.

"Dude, you're finally back on ya feet."

"Yeah, better than ever."

"Are you sure? You were out of it for a while."

"It's not that big of a deal."

"But...you were out for three days."

The statement hit me hard. Three days!? Why was I out for that long? I remember drifting in and out of consciousness, but I didn't think it was for three days straight.

"Are you guys…heading out?" I ask, somewhat nervous about the answer.

"Yep. We went the other day, right when the typhoon hit."

"You guys went without me?"

"Well, you were sick and all, and we thought we should get some trainin' in before the storm kept us from going."

"Did…you guys do alright?"

A cold sweat trickles down my forehead, dreading the confident smile on his face.

"Nah, we were all good! You should have seen me! I was mowin' 'em down, left and right!"

"Can you stop acting like you did all the work? We had to–"

Yuka-chan's irritation and Jun's exuberated voice die down as my body locks in place. They were fine without me… I wasn't needed then, and they're going back again tonight… Would they keep going even if I was still out? Does that mean I'm not needed?

"Is everyone– Kazuki, you're awake?"

Kirijo-senpai, accompanied by Sanada-senpai and Fuuka, are carrying their weapons.

"Kazuki-kun, what are you doing out of bed!?"

"I'm fine, but are you all about to head out?"

"Being held up in here is doing no one any good." Sanada-senpai spoke up. "...The Shadows aren't gonna wait for us to be ready."

"Which is why we're gonna kick some serious ass, again!"

Not without me!

"I'm coming, too."

"Are you sure?" Fuu-chan asks. "You might still be–"

"I'm good. Feeling better, I can come along."

That damn cold put me behind everyone else. I'll have to blow through every shadow we come across in there. I'm more than useful, and I'll show them that!

Tartarus - lobby - Dark Hour

Everyone is settling in, waiting for Kirijo-senpai to choose who's going and who isn't. I know it's gonna be me, that's for sure.

"Kazuki." Shizuka approaches from behind with her resting on her belt. "...Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am. Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

"I do, but I want to be sure. If you are not feeling well, just tell me."

"You don't have to worry about me. Let's just go in and smash some monsters!"

We all gather up towards our senpai. They're going to announce who is going inside. Typically, one of them accompanies us inside and acts as field leader. Sanada, kIrijo, and Aragaki-senpai are going, with me as the last member…

"All right, let's go," Sanada-senpai says, taking point alongside the other upperclassmen.

Fuu-chan places an arm on my forearm. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. You don't have to keep asking me."

"I just–"

I escape her grasp. "I'll be fine…"

There's nothing to worry about. Because with this power, I can beat anything in my way!

Tartarus - FL:160 - Dark Hour - Fuuka

From above, without actually being there, I can see and sense everything happening inside the ominous halls of Tartarus. Audio, visual, and perception, all of these things are heightened inside Lucia. If I had to put it in a comprehensible way, it's like my brain is being sent a live feed on where I'm observing, and at the same time, possess sensory abilities.

I'm familiar with most of the shadows at this point, allowing me to give a prompt analysis. Kazuki-kun and Kirijo-senpai are doing great, but Sanada and Aragaki-senpai constantly rush off, slaying Shadows left and right, but not mindlessly. Their synergy is amazing, too; even when they're bickering, they both react to the other's intent at a moment's notice. I can't help but admire their skill and teamwork.

"Yamagishi," Kirijo-senpai beckons me.

"I don't sense anything, but be careful, everyone!"

Staying on top of everything is my duty as support. Timely and up-to-date information will make things easier for everyone else…

Sanada-senpai sucks his teeth. "Shame. Was hoping for a challenge."

"We don't need any more headaches," Aragaki-senpai irritably dismisses his idea.

"Sounds like you're scared."

"Like I give a shit what it sounds like. I'm just not dumb enough to get myself killed."

"Who are you calling dumb!?"

"Uh, you, idiot!"

The two of them butt heads with the other. Saying sparks are flying is an understatement. Though, I can't say that it isn't expected, at this point. They usually go off on small spats like this.

"Will you cut it out!" Kirijo-senpai's terrifying authority overruled the hot-blooded and aloof senpais, freezing them in place. "…Do you two have to bicker whenever you're together!? You are like infants!"

The older boys turn their heads away from Kirijo-senpai, annoyed by her sharp reprimand. It's like a teacher scolding two troublemakers.

"...Um, everyone, I think we shou–"

A sharp reaction flickers inside my head. A reading popped up, and it's coming from...

"Up there," Kazuki-kun and I say in unionism… How did he?

A large figure is falling from the sky. Everyone leaped out of the way before impact. Pieces of the ground scatter all over. A monster with pale skin and red markings on its body towers over them. Is that…a wrestler!? Its eyes glaze over everyone, flexing its body as if to taunt them.

"Yamagishi, analysis!"

Right, right!

"It's of the Strength Arcana! I'm already scanning for weaknesses!"

Calm down, just scan it, and provide all the information I can. Scanning an enemy for weaknesses takes a moment. If they can stall for a few seconds, I'll have the information I need to give them.

"Janus!"

Kazuki-kun summoning his Persona blindsides me. Its fist shoots straight for the Shadow's chest. A reflective light blinds him for a second, then, he's sent hurdling into a wall. His vitals are spiking from just that! Furthermore, that light just then, did it reflect his attack?

"Kazuki-kun! Are you–"

"I'm fine! What the hell…was that!?"

"It must repel strikes!"

"Seriously!?"

The enemy flexes its muscles, sparks flickering around its body. Kirijo-senpai hastily summons her Persona. A large block of ice encases the Shadow, halting its attack. We have to assume physical attacks are out!

"Sanada-senpai, strike with lightning!"

"Way ahead of you! Polyeduce!"

Lightning rips apart the ice, hitting the shadow inside. Its health is lower, but it's nowhere near enough to defeat it.

"Aragaki-senpai, focus on drawing its attention while the others deal it damage with magic!"

"Got it."

"Kazuki-kun, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm ready for round two!"

"No, you need to recover from that blow!"

"What!?"

Although it was a single hit, it did significant damage to him. It would be disastrous if his injuries got in the way of everyone. And if it forgets about him, he can make a sneak attack! Alright, we can work with this.

"You should–"

"I'm fine! I can go on!"

"Hold on!"

He runs off, throwing off his sword's scabbard. The Shadow focuses on Kazuki-kun, quickly approaching it. Its leg barely grazed his back when he slipped under it. He's close enough to land a strike, but if it reflects that attack then– Hm!? The analysis is complete…!

"Take it!"

His sword comes down on the brutish monster, hitting its abdomen. A clean hit should be a killing blow if it didn't resist slash attacks.

"Get out of the way!"

My warning came too late. The wrestler spins its body, knocking Kazuki-kun off balance. Nimbly adjusting its posture, the Shadow manages to hit him with a devastating kick. Kazuki-kun is sprawled on the ground, clenching his chest. His vitals are spiking worse than before and he likely broke a few bones. This is bad, really bad!

It refocuses on Aragaki and Sanada-senpai, chortling at them.

"Laugh at this, asshole!"

Aragaki-senpai summons, his Persona looms above him, cracking the reigns to its one-legged horse.

"Physical attacks won't work!"

"I know." It rams its legs into the pillars in front of the shadow, obscuring its vision. "Aki!"

"Here it comes!"

A bolt of blue lightning flashes across the small corridor, striking the enemy without giving it time to react. Its body is continuously being burned, preventing it from mounting an attack. If everyone mounts an attack, we can defeat it in one go!

"Everyone, attack now!"

"Heh, I've been–"

Senpai was immediately cut off by an out of nowhere drop-kick by the enemy. He's sent crashing into a wall.

"Shit," Aragaki-senpai, seething with rage, curses.

He already has his Evoker to his head, but a single punch stops him from summoning, flinging him to the air. It hones its focus on Kirijo-senpai next, who has just summoned. A tidal wave rushes at him, each one having a spike to its end. Ignoring this threat, the Shadow leaps into the air, coming down with all its weight. Senpai moves, forming a sheet of ice below her feet as she moves. It crashes on top of it, shattering the glass floor beneath it.

"Perfectly landed." With a flick of her fingers, ice forms around its feet. "Aragaki, let's finish it!"

Senpai fixes his beanie and rests his axe on his shoulder. "Bastard, you better be ready!"

They charge off, calling their Personas. This is it, even if it resists slash attacks, a barrage like this will end the fight. Go for it, everyone!

But just then, the Shadow, with all of its leg strength, breaks free of the ice, shooting the shards at both senpais. It breaks out its other leg and rushes at them with both arms outstretched. Lower to the ground, its arms slam into my senpai, driving them into the ground.

"Are you two okay!?"

Of course not, an attack like that has to be devastating!

"Fuuka." Yukari-chan approaches me alongside everyone else on standby. "...What's going on?"

"They ran into a floor guardian! They're struggling with it!"

"How many of them are down?" Ken-kun asks, keeping his cool.

"All of them!"

"Then what are we standin' around here for? Let's go and kick some ass," Junpei-kun says, already moving for the teleporter.

"It would take too long to reach them!"

"Then I'll go," Shizuka-san volunteers. "I can move faster on my own."

"Didn't you hear her? She just said that it was strong! We all gotta go," Junpei-kun protests.

"And by the time we get there, they–" She pauses for a moment, then settles her focus on me. "Yamagishi, Kazuki's status?"

"Kazuki-kun's down, but–" I just barely noticed him getting back up on his feet. His forehead is split open and he's limping on his feet. There's no way he should be back on his feet in his state. "He's back up!"

Right now, he's the only one who's able to move. If I coordinate his movements, then he can distract the Shadow long enough to let everyone else recover.

"Kazuki-kun, are you okay!?"

"Yeah," he whispers, serious in tone.

"Everyone else needs time to recover, so you–"

"I can handle it myself."

"Wha– But you can't on your own! You'll need me to help you, and everyone–"

"I'm good!"

A sudden sensation akin to a balloon popping hits my head. A violent surge of energy catches my senses off guard, disturbing my sensory abilities. Lucia almost disappears but I quickly regain my control over her.

"Yamagishi," a concerned Shizuka calls. "...are you okay!?"

"Yes, I'm… What!? How did he…?"

"What is it?" Yukari-chan asks, just worried for me.

"Kazuki-kun, he…beat the shadow."

He's walking away from its shambling form, melting into a puddle of black ooze. It wasn't even more than five seconds that my vision of the fight went out; yet, he was able to defeat it in such a short time frame.

"Dude, by himself!? No way, I don't believe it."

"I don't think it's outlandish. I remember Sanada-san saying he dispatched the last full-moon Shadow with one hit."

"Man, don't remind me of that operation. I…"

Everyone's voices fade, and my body locks up in place, feeling almost disconnected from it. "I'm good", is what he said, but he practically said, "I don't need your help". It's irrational to think this way, and downright mistrusting, and it makes no sense since we've been more than cooperative with each other… Then why do I feel so…resentful?

"Yamagishi, are we heading their way?"

Shizuka-san's words snap me out of my daze. "Huh?"

"Are we going? The other members are still injured, right?"

"Yes. Yes! All of you should head out, I'll get Kazuki-kun to turn on the teleporter for that floor."

"Got it… Also." Shizuka-san brings her head closer to Lucia's dome. "...Don't push yourself too hard."

She joins the others near the transporter… Don't push myself. I can't but push myself. If I don't, then I'll lose my place here. This is the only thing I'm good at, and the only place I can truly belong… If I lose that, then what good am I?