Don X Don (High School DxD Miracle Child SI Chapter 13)
Milo Donato (8 Years Old)
I wondered if it was normal to look forward to your own failure.
Okay, yeah, I didn't actually fail, it's just that none of the Exorcist disciplines, or specializations really clicked with me. Swordsmanship, marksmanship, and other Exorcists skills, I really gave each a genuine good try of one week of training, to see if anything felt right. If I really found my stride in those.
I wasn't bad, but nothing really pulled at me, or made me care. I wasn't bad at any Exorcist discipline, but I wasn't noticeably good either.
Yet, each time something didn't work out, I felt a small bit of giddiness spring up. As if the decision in the back of my mind was being confirmed over and over again, as the only path left for me.
If it's the only path then there will be no distraction.
If it's the only path then I can give my all to just that.
"Looks like I'm gonna have to Netero it after all." I ended up saying to Rachelle and Xenovia when discussing if I still want to continue to be an Exorcist.
I walked into the woods next to the town to find a secluded field to train in. Because practicing martial arts in a meadow is tradition.
Not that I know martial arts. Father Cristaldi did teach me the basics of the basics, like how to move, punch and kick correctly, but that's all I needed.
I reached a good place, a field filled with different colored flowers and took a combat ready stance and calmed my breathing.
Alright, let's start small and simple. Five hundred punches with a prayer of gratitude after each one.
Then I threw a right punch.
"Oh Lord, I am grateful for succeeding in fulfilling one right punch. Amen." I said as I brought my hands together into a prayer.
Then I took my stance again, and threw another right punch.
"Oh Lord, I am grateful for succeeding in fulfilling two right punch. Amen."
Then I took my stance again, and threw another right punch.
And I did so.
Again and again and again.
It took about an hour and a half to finish that exercise, but I still had the whole day left.
I did want to work on one thing and polish it to perfection, so why not make that one thing my whole body, rather than just punches with one arm?
I started doing left punches, with a prayer after each one.
Then right kicks, with a prayer after each one.
Then left kicks, with a prayer after each one.
At the end of the day, I was tired, sore, panting, with each limb feeling like lead.
And I was unsatisfied.
Like...it wasn't right? Maybe?
Not enough? So-so.
No, I feel like I just didn't do it right.
After resting for a while, I left to head to the church and go to sleep. I'll think more on this tomorrow.
I was standing in the meadow field again, but I wasn't training. Not yet.
I was thinking about the training. Yeah I still had my motivation and enthusiasm, but I needed better direction.
If it's training that would define my future power then it needs to be meaningful. It needs to be important and have weight, since this is anime training, there needs to be some bullshit philosophy super charge it, and not just repetitive actions.
Repetitive.
Yeah, that was it, wasn't it?
The punching, praying, repeat was meaningless if I'm just doing the action to occupy time. Heck, the only time I felt my praying was true was toward the end of each limb exercise since I was done. That wasn't gratitude, that was just relief.
Fucking laziness, we meet again my old enemy.
"Alright, so how do I do this right?" I took a combat ready stance.
I need every punch or kick to be more than just some action in a training set. I need every prayer to be something I genuinely put my heart and will in.
I took a breath, and focused, tightening up all my muscles.
And threw a punch like it was the last thing I will do.
I click my tongue, I overextended. No. Do it correctly, not desperately.
I brought my hands together in a prayer gesture, closed my eyes and thought on my mentality as I prayed. How should I be thinking about this? Should I tried to imagine stuff I'm grateful for to invoke the feeling of gratitude, or would that be like false gratitude?
What am I grateful for even? At the most basic, why should I feel gratitude? For what am I thankful?
...For throwing the punch.
It should just be something that simple, right?
I have a healthy body. I have the capacity to carry out the action I wanted to preform. My gratitude should be for just that. Just that simple fact.
I was grateful to be alive, to experience life. To have this healthy body, to have the ability to punch, to have a reach to seek strength. I was grateful for the peace of this moment, where I didn't have to live in strife and struggle.
Okay, tone it down, remove the stuff related to life and struggle, they could poison the mental well, if tough stuff happened in my life later on.
Focus on the be glad for this life and the simple fact that I can complete the action of punching once so well.
I let that feeling swell and fill up inside me till it was all I held. Gratitude.
"Oh Lord, I am grateful for succeeding in fulfilling one right punch." I took a breath feel calm and a small sense of fulfillment. "Amen." Or maybe I imaged that feeling of fulfillment.
Ignore it, focus on the training.
I took a breath, focused on my body, tightened every muscle.
"HA!" And threw a punch.
Better.
Over time I learned a few more things to do in my training, and adjusted it as I went along.
I stop shouting after throwing a punch or kick, it wastes breath and stamina. Over time I found myself improving in small way. Through continuous training I would fix the small issues in my form, or motion. Perfecting this single skill to the maximum.
I stopped doing the prayer after each punch or kick though, as there just wasn't enough time in the day. Either I keep doing it, and as I increase the number of punches or kicks, I start training only one limb a day, or make the prayer after a number of punches or kicks, and work on increasing the prayers later on.
I went with a prayer every hundred punches or kicks.
A six months went by and I increased the number of punches and kicks from five hundred to a thousand.
I couldn't increase it more as it took all day to do. As I get better, faster I'll increase the number again.
My goal is to reach Netero's ten thousand of punches and kicks eventually.
Sister Griselda asked me about my training, and after I told her, she recommended that I also train my core muscles. That's the torso and stomach, right?
I added sprinting once around the town in the morning. And I did mean sprint. At full speed, without stopping or rest till, I returned to my starting point.
Surprisingly not as hard as I thought it would be. Guess the Netero training improved my stamina.
A year passed and I wasn't sure at what point I started to feel this...energy I had in my attacks after each prayer. A feeling of just goodness and contentment. Maybe I should work on increasing the number of prayers, rather than keep it at every hundred?
It only takes me four hours to finish up everything, so it should be doable, right?
Still I do need to make time to teasingly bulli-I mean play with Rachelle to get her out to her prudish 'No Fun' zone.
Alright, I'll make the prayers every 75 hits, and go from there.
By the time reach my second year in Netero training I manage to reach 5000 punches and kicks with each limb, with a prayer of gratitude every 50 hits, all in one day.
Life was good.
Milo Donato (10 Years Old)
I did not expect to spank Rachelle today. Really, this isn't how I planned for my day to go.
I get the reason for her freak out, the cross artifact is important, but that's no reason to blow up at the sisters helping her. I could see the terror in Rachelle when she thought the gold cross was lost, so I went to get Sister Jenna and remind her to go give the rosario to Rachelle. Really Sister Jenna being busy a little with healing a kid was all just bad timing, but it wasn't the end of the world.
I doubt the rosario was that fragile that it could be damaged that easily, and I'm sure Rachelle could get a sense of its location if it's lost, due to her connection to it, just like I probably can if I bothered to.
Things escalating with Rachelle refusing to apologize for her honest mistake, and lashing out at the nuns when things happened outside of their hands, and ultimately it wasn't a big deal. Well, okay for me it wasn't a big deal.
I knew Rachelle felt like she was under a lot of pressure, but that's when you're suppose to hold on to acting like a good person, not throw that shit out when it's inconvenient. Yes, she's a child, but in small situations like today, is when it's good and safe to practice acting right and responsible, not later on when actual consequences were on the line.
So I pushed her, I told her to apologize and own up to her mistake. It wasn't the be all and end all at the end of the day.
Of course Rachelle's tsundereness had to rear its head in, and I...had to keep my word on the 'or else' punishment.
I'm pretty sure Rachelle let me pull her over my lap and spank her, because she felt guilty and wanted to be punished. I hope to god this doesn't awaken anything in her later in life.
Then Sister Griselda came in and announced that my mom was coming, and all metaphorical hell broke loose.
I wanted to laugh at how everyone was being so serious about Gabriel visiting and running around like headless chickens.
I sneaked around till I climbed on a tree branch next to the window of the room, the meeting will take place. I didn't plan on crashing it.
...Well, maybe screw around, by hitting the window with pebbles till they opened it and I jumped in. Well maybe not, just watching is enough.
Then Gabriel arrived and...huh. I put a hand on my heart, guess I'm not some indomitable fountain of willpower. I missed her.
I looked up and contemplated the whole 'crash the meeting' thing. Should I? It would really ruin the whole 'we must hide the truth for your own good', and it might make Gabriel decide to hell with the plan, which in the long run might be bad. Maybe.
At the very least it would fuck up Rachelle's mental issues, so yeah, I should leave things be-
"Hey, what are you doing there, Milo?" Called out one of the Exorcist nuns, before she saw the pebbles in my hand, and saw the window to the meeting room. "Kid, get down from there, right now!" She called out.
I threw the pebbles at her and jumped away.
I planned to just leave the meeting room's area and go play.
Of course the chase was seen by other sisters, and upon finding out what's going on, joined in on the chase, with their punishments ever escalating.
"When I catch you you're in for a thousand spankings!"
"You've went too far with our antics Milo! This time, cleaning all the rooms for the next year!"
"You're going to memorize the bible and all the sermons if it's the last thing you do!"
OK! Guess I'll just crash the fucking meeting after all! I'm not going through all that sadistic shit! Memorize a whole book! Are they crazy!?
I found the room on top of the secret meeting room, raised my leg high, and kicked down.
Meeting mom for the second time in this life was...huh. Maybe I had too much Netero training on the brain, because my first thought was: Oh, I'm creating Holy Power in my training, also my own reserves are growing and adding to Rachelle. No wonder she got her second set of wings so quickly.
Thankfully she seemed to handle it fine. Other than the guilt.
I'm gonna have to play with her more, or get her some present somehow...with my bottom barrel allowance.
Second thing to come to mind from meeting Gabriel was...god damn anime backstory, she really shouldn't feel so much guilt. I can literally feel it off of her as she was talking to me. How did the others, the sisters watching, not notice it?
"Ah, sorry, but can you tell me your name?" Gabriel said.
"Milo Donato, nice to meet'cha." Milo said back.
I couldn't just reveal I knew everything, but I wanted her to feel less guilty. That I'm taking my father's name, that I'm living well, and even became friends with Rachelle.
So I joked around, I talked about Rachelle, her good and bad traits so the little girl would relax and act more like a child. I let Rachelle mention all my bad acts too, which she would immediately follow by mentioning something good I did, so mom would see that I'm doing well.
Getting Rachelle to call Gabriel 'Mom' was really for both of their sakes. Heh, maybe one day Rachelle can call Gabriel that unironically as her daughter-in-law.
I kid.
The group hug was nice too.
Finally toward the end Gabriel asked.
"Ah, I wanted to ask one last thing, is there anything you two want?"
I didn't. I had already gotten what I didn't know I wanted.
For me, I was satisfied with what I had. I just didn't bitter about my life. I could have, but I dunno, the more it felt like I already had control of my destiny, the more happy I was with how everything turns out. Even if my life wasn't the best due to the obligatory "tragic" backstory, I can help but just enjoy my life as it comes at me.
Although I'm kinda impressed and a bit worried about how Mom's following my daily prayers, as she tried to act like she was "checking" to see how much I pray everyday, and didn't know it off the top of her head. It was stalkerish...in a cute and wholesome way.
And way, the only time I actually pray for something is a little bit of luck. I don't really need anything else, although...
"Ah, one thing though."
"Of course," Gabriel said instantly.
"Boop." I booped the cutie Seraph on the nose. "You shouldn't look so down, if the most beautiful Angel of Heaven looks sad, then everyone will start crying. Looks at them, they're about to start using up the tissues."
Don't be sad, Mom. Eventually when this whole thing is over, we'll be able to hang out and genuinely laugh and be happy without the guilt and pretenses.
Also I booped Rachelle so she won't feel jealous.
Milo Donato (13 Years Old)
I wonder if there's a point to my training.
Right punch, pray, repeat.
I try not to focus on doubt since it would disrupt the whole thing, but sometimes I can't help it. It's still there.
By the time I was 11 years old, I reach 4000 hits with each limb, with a gratitude prayer every 50 hits.
When I was 12 years old, I reach 9000 hits with each limb, still with a gratitude prayer every 50 hits.
I planned to finally reach 10,000 hits with each limb before focusing on increasing the prayers.
But it was always taking a lot of time to finish my daily Netero training. How much was it? 10 hours a day?
Right punch, pray, repeat.
Why? Because I needed to make each action sincere. My punches, my kicks, my prayer, I needed to be conscious of every action, never on auto-pilot, so I can focus on my action and the prayer afterward. So I would also mean it when I pray in gratitude.
I don't want my action to fall to the back of my mind as my body moved. No, doing that would make my punches have no power, no weight behind them. Meaningless.
Right punch, pray, repeat.
But that doubt, ever so insidious would sometimes creep up.
Is this worth it?
Yeah, I got physically better. I got stronger, faster, even a bit more durable, if Xenovia's hits in our occasionally rare spars were anything to go by.
Right punch, pray, repeat.
I lost all of those. I was still within the limits of a human in my age and physical ability.
But I kept going on with my training anyways.
I threw a punched, pulled back my hands in a prayer, focused on gratitude, and prayed. Not wishing for anything, just expressing sincere thankfulness.
Left punch, pray, repeat.
But who the heck was I thanking? And for what? For being able to fucking move, and do the motion of punching or kicking?
Left punch, pray, repeat.
God was dead, so who am I praying to.
Left punch, pray, repeat.
"Stop." I told myself, as I focused on gratitude in order to pray and continue my training.
The Netero training in how meditative it was, helped me train and build my focus like everything else, since the most important part of it, was being mentally present when training.
But the doubt persisted. It would be gone, and then come back a bit later, anytime I just paused for a second to relax. So I would focused more on just completing the training, but that would end up disrupting it.
I needed to deal with this, but how?
Right kick, pray, repeat.
Do the anime thing, and imagine a battle at the center of the mind?
Right kick, pray, repeat.
Why? What the point?
My doubts are just that, mine. They are not an external enemy for me to beat.
So should I imagine an enemy that reflects this struggle and beat it? Like a shadowy version of myself that's ever outside my reach?
Right kick, pray, repeat.
Again, why?
why should I fight with myself? Why would I imagine myself as an enemy?
Is the problem my body? The seal that siphons my Holy Power that I can't train?
No. That's just blaming others, and it messes up the gratitude.
My body is my own. It's capable of the simple action that is throwing a punch or kick. That's enough.
Right?
"Yes." I said with resolution as I threw another right kick.
My body acted in familiar soreness as the training continued.
Left kick, pray, repeat.
Left kick, pray, repeat.
Left kick, pray, repeat.
Left kick, pray, repeat.
Left kick, pray, repeat.
I was still bound by my human limits, so maybe the whole anime world logic in training wasn't working?
I finished my last left kick, and stood back, bringing my hand together for my last prayer of my training.
I tried to fill myself with gratitude like always, but this time I couldn't muster it.
I tried, standing in the meadow field till the sun was beginning to dip. I wasted today without hanging out with Rachelle and Xenovia-
No.
Wasted?
Did I really think that?
Well, didn't I waste today? After, what is it now, five years I still didn't unlock some secret power. Be it something innate or as a result of hard work, so wasn't today just...that.
Maybe it's just a bad day. Those happen.
Yet I never didn't complete my prayer, as I intent. With feeling of true sincerity.
First time for everything, I guess. It's not like God hears my prayers.
...No. It doesn't matter if God doesn't hear them. Yeah, I know he's dead. He's been dead all along even before I was born, but so what?
Is that a reason to quit? To just rage against the world about how unfair, and sad, and cruel it all is?
I refuse.
I refuse this bullshit, childish cynicism masked as "maturity" and "growing up". Fuck that!
I know this is a death world. I know underneath all the jokes, boobs, and smiles and everything getting resolved like a sitcom, this world is a terrifying place.
But I choose to be happy regardless. I choose to be grateful. Not for the sake of God but for the sake of me. I am fallible, I will make mistakes, and I will face suffering that I imagine and do to myself, and things that will happen to me. Not everything is in my control, but that's fine. I need to remember God, that there are things greater than me, so I can appreciate this life for what it is, not be bitter or start being a megalomaniac who thinks he's above it all.
Human limits? No Holy Power that lasts more than a second? So what!?
I still choose to be grateful. Right here, right now, in this moment.
"Oh Lord, I am grateful for succeeding in fulfilling ten thousand left kicks, and for completing my daily training." I said. My reality good or bad is what I choose to accept it as. "Amen."
So I choose for this one action to be completed.
I took a combat ready stance. It felt like chains wrapped around my body.
I pulled my arm back. I was tired, I was sore. I wanted nothing more than to go have dinner and sleep.
Whatever it is, I can do it tomorrow. I can handle it tomorrow.
And yet...
I punched forward.
BANG!
The air exploded in front of me, from where I fist passed the air before it completed its motion.
An aura unlike Holy Power started to leak out when I took my combat stance, and exploded when I threw that last punch.
I felt...me.
Myself. My life burning and roaring one simple fact.
I Am Alive. I Am Here.
I don't remember going back to my room and hitting the bed, but I didn't wake up till sunset the next day.