HELP! How The Fuck Do I First Woman!? (Hazbin Hotel - Eve SI Chapter 2)

The Garden of Eden.

How does one describe the frickin' Garden?

Think of it as, one third normal garden but very vibrant and quintessential of the very Concept of a Garden.

One fairie wonderland mysterious location that constantly had this feeling of awe and wonder to it.

And one third FUCKING M.C. ESCHER PAINTING COME TO LIFE!

I could take a few steps in the grasslands and find at the foot of a mountain. I could walk a but up river to find myself at the edge of a waterfall.

According to Adam, it's because the Garden is where Concepts are Made and Solidified once they're given a Name. That's why the lands isn't one whole.

Some parts are Defined and some are Undefined. So basically a bloody Eldritch Location.

Now you might be wondering about the living beings, animals and such in Eden, right?

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" I shouted and literally jumped on Adam's back, hugging him with my hand and feet, to put him between myself and The Balloon Thing. "ADAM, GET A STICK! HIT IT! NO, GET TWO STICKS SO I CAN HIT IT WITH YOU! SHOULD WE RUN?"

"Eve," Adam laughed. "Eve, calm down, it's just a Being Undefined. It's why I'm going to Name it."

It looked like multiple images of different variation of a creature superimposed on one another.

Like whatever this Balloon Thing was it couldn't decide on one form or one idea.

It had an eye, just one. It had thirty seven eyes. It had five eyes.

It had three in one mouth. It had one small mouth.

It had ten tongues connected sequentially to each other. It had ten separate tongues.

Only consistency was that it had smooth skin and part of it would blow up like a blowfish and shrink back to normal. Whatever normal was.

"You see Eve," Sera spoke with a small matron-like smile on her face. "This is one of your Purposes in the Garden. All of us Angels create Ideas. Ideas of Beings to be, and it's your job to Define them and grant them a Name. Adam was made uniquely suited to this task, as the Lord made him the Name Giver."

I looked toward Adam, who smiled back, giving me a nod with a preening look. He was showing off to me.

I held back a giggle as I smile. Seriously, why's everything he does was so adorable?

I really hope these feelings aren't just a honeymoon period.

"So, Adam is going to Name this Being and thus give it Definition." I said, climbing down Adam's back. "So what do I do? How can I help?"

Sera had this oddly proud smile to my question. Adam looked at me curious, but with a content smile.

"What?" I asked, looking between them. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"When Lilith first learned of this duty, she went ahead and tried to Name some creatures of her own, without pausing to learn the finer details of this Task. That you exhibit such patience and charity, asking to help rather than trying to takeover this Task, shows how better you are than Lilith. Good job, Eve." Sera said with an approving smile.

Wow. That's... blunt.

I mean, I don't mind the praise, but not when it's at the expense of someone else.

Also I could see Adam frown momentarily as he looked aside, before just looking back and acting fine. Yet the hurt was more visible on him. Or at least very clear to me.

I guess the concept of stoicism and just "bury the pain" weren't all that mainstream yet.

"...Thanks." I said with an awkward smile.

Sera just nodded normally, as she moved on. Adam blinked in confusion at my reaction, likely noticing my discomfort.

I guess Angels aren't all knowing. Or they still haven't figured out human emotions and reactions fully yet.

"Now, this Being is meant to be one that lives on both land and water. It's not a fish, so it can't indefinitely stay in the water, but it can definitely swim and live in it. We, the Angels, haven't decided on which body of water it would find it's main habitat in—" Sera began to explain.

"Eve, is something making you sad?" Adam straight up asked while looking at me in concern.

"Err, it's nothing." I said reflexively. "Maybe later."

"Why? If it's something making you sad, but not speak of it now?" Adam asked.

Right. Subtly isn't a thing yet. I could tell he meant it genuinely. He wasn't trying to put me on the spot, he was just asking straight forward, out of ignorance of social cues and me not wanting to, well, say something that might disparage what the Angel said.

Right, social cues. Those also need to be invented, don't they?

Holy shit, how many small things in day to day life do we take for granted?

"Eve, is that true?" Sera asked... with concern? She looked blanked as she asked. I'm not sure if she's annoyed or if that's her default look.

Welp, guess I'm doing this. Social anxiety, don't come for me now!

"Weeelll, ...Sera," I took a breath and decided to just let it out. "While I'm thankful for your praise, I don't feel comfortable with it coming at the expense of speaking poorly of someone else."

There. Honesty. I mean, she's an Angel, hopefully she'll take it well.

Adam blinked in surprise.

Sera blinked for a few moments as well, looking at me incomprehensively.

"Why would you defend the Failed First Woman, Eve?" Sera asked. And the weirdest part, it didn't feel like she was trying to insult Lilith. She was literally just describing her. Is it being unintentional makes it a worst burn?

"Because there's someone not here. Someone I don't know nor have any ill will towards." No, wait, I'm rambling. "But mainly, speaking badly of her, seems to make Adam sad."

Now Sera looked alarmed.

"Adam?" She turned to him.

"Ah, it's... it's not important." He frowned and looked away, now more in annoyance.

"If it's not important, then it should not bother you. Adam, you did nothing wrong, while Lilith and Lucifer did so and acted in error. You the Lord's Chosen Son have acted righteously all along, you have no reason to feel bad due to them, or on their behalf." Sera nodded, as if she resolved the issue and the matter was settled.

"Y-Yeah... You're right." Adam said, as he slowly regained his confidence and smiled.

"Now, more about this Being..."

Holy fucking shit. Is... Is this really the level of conversation they're having?

What the fuck, Sera?! Is this how all the Angels treated them?

"And thus, what do you think, Adam?" Sera finished her explanation of the amphibian thing.

"Eve, you're making another confused face. Why do you look at Sera like that?" Adam asked, as his focus was on me, rather than Sera's explanation.

"Eve, is something the matter?" Sera asked patiently.

I blinked a few times. Right. Of course the Angels are literally learning how Humans function emotionally as everything is being made. New discoveries everyone.

Fuck me, I am not gonna be responsible for inventing mental health, that is too much responsibility.

"Sera, Adam." I said, addressing them both. "I understand that factually, Lilith and this Lucifer eloped together and that's very, very bad. However, it doesn't change that she was Adam's first partner." I went and grabbed Adam's hand in my own. "So, it's normal to feel some hurt at mention of her, while also feeling some need to defend her, as you feel..." would 'hate' be correct or too strong? "Immense dislike for her." I explained. "Thus I am grateful for your words, but wish you didn't strike her down to elevate me, as it upset Adam."

You know, while I was giving that speech, I could have sworn that some floating something snapped into place. Weird.

"...I see." Sera nodded, taking my words very seriously. "That is quite the insight. Adam, is any of that true?"

"Yeah..." Adam said looking at me intendedly, before giving a small smile and squeezing my hand. "Well, it wasn't completely right." He said, throwing me back, making me blink. "I was also happy that Eve was praised over Lilith. It's weird. I felt... glad that you praised Lilith over Eve, glad that Eve is already acting better than Lilith, sad at the mention of Lilith, sad that you disparaged her, angry at remembering her and Lucifer, and... angry and confused at myself for feeling all that." He shook his head. "But it wasn't... something that overtook me. It was just many fleeting thoughts. We have a Task to carry out and that's more important." He turned to me with a curious look. "I am surprised that you noticed all that. And even more surprised that you invented a Word."

"...I did what?" Huh!?

"Yes, I was about to get to that." Sera said with a curious and praising look. "'Elope'. You created a Word that described the events that happen so succinctly. Put in place a Meaning for something that was. That is an unexpected talent for you to exhibit." Sera held her sharp, owlish chin in thought. "Although give that you were made of Adam's rib, maybe you inherited his talent and skill in Name but in a lesser statue, to give form to thing that Already Are but Unexplained."

"Maybe." I shrugged. Alright, sure, let's go with your conclusion.

"Well," Sera said with the beginnings of a sigh that she held back. "I think we've deviated a lot from the main Task. Now, for this creature. Adam?" She said with a pointed look.

"Good job on inventing a Word." Adam whispered to me. I look at him to see a proud smile directed at me.

I gave a happy smile back, one that dropped once he wasn't looking at me. He moved forward and crouched in front of the Balloon Being starting to poke and prod it.

I didn't invent anything. I just spoke and now a stupid word that I really don't want to be associated with me got invented. Or discovered, or whatever. I can't feel happy for any of that praise when I didn't actually do anything.

Fuck, that's gonna get annoying real quick, real fast. I hope all the Words get invented by Adam quickly so I don't walk on eggshells worrying about saying something and boom. Yay Eve you "invented" a Word.

"Hmm, you said its mean to live on bodies of water, but also near land. If it will live in water a lot, I'm guess we can go with eggs for how it makes its offspring. Also, what's going on with its throat?" Adam asked.

"Huh, so an... Hmm." I made a thinking noise. Phew. Almost said "amphibian". Does that Word exists yet or not?

"Ah, that." Sera smiled. "It was Gabriel's idea. It has a vocal cords that are similar to what humans have, but they also have a vocal sac that can amplify the vibrations from the vocal cords. As air moves back and forth between the lungs and the vocal sac, the vocal cords cause the air to vibrate and produce a sound. Not sure a boom or a crack."

I heard the sounds the Balloon Being did. There were a lot of disturbing ones and one that didn't work or fit in my opinion. The moan is definitely fucking out.

Adam seemed to agree as he started to waved at some parts of the Being and the sounds it made started to make more sense, rather than a cacophony layered on top of each other.

Also one sounds stood out to me.

"Is that croaking?" I asked.

"Oh?" Adam blinked and looked up at me pleased. "Oh, that sound. Yeah. It sound like a crow's cry but more fitting for an amphibian."

Oh! "Amphibian" is already a Word. Cool.

"Yeah, I noticed it because it sounds a lot like a Frog."

And suddenly the world paused, a Concept of a Being slide into place. The many images of the Being collapsed/coalesced upon themselves into one whole.

Snapping into place was not longer a Being Undefined, but a Defined Being. A Creature. An Animal.

Two eyes. One mouth. A tongue that can extend to capture insects. Four limbs, and skin of forest colors.

A Frog.

"Ribbit." It croaked.

Adam and Sera slowly turned and looked at me.

Sera had her mouth agaped. Adam looked at me surprised and unsure to be amazed or displeased.

"Eve," he said slowly. "Did you just give it a Name?"

...FUCK!

AN: I was first gonna go with a Fox rather than Frog.