Every Little Thing

by wolvesjr34

PART II Saints & Sinners Universe. What if It's You sequel. Jane & Maura face major hurdles in chasing their happily ever after. An attack on Missy six months ago has widespread ramifications as she falls apart and Jane swoops in to play saviour. But at what cost? It's a soap, characters have evolved since the prequel and are going to be OOC by the sheer nature of it being a SOAP.

42. Chapter 42

Chapter Forty Two

"You really didn't have to do this." Kelly offers quietly, her eyes locking firmly onto Maura as she watches the road ahead of them. "It's not too far to walk."

"It's no trouble." Maura says in response. Her eyes glance up at the rear vision mirror.

"Well, thank you. Dinner was lovely."

"It was my pleasure. I enjoyed your company." Maura adds, although her eyes continue to keep glancing at the rear vision and side mirrors a little more than seems warranted.

Kelly checks her own side mirror and doesn't really notice anything other than a white sedan, but then Maura misses the turn to get down onto the same block as her motel apartment. "Um Maura, that was the turn back there."

"I am aware," Maura acknowledges. "However, I do believe we are being followed."

The level of calmness in Maura's voice is astounding because just hearing those words send chills down Kelly's spine. There's a madman on the loose and Jane warned her she was a target. God, what if it's him? What if she's put Maura at risk? It only takes a few seconds for her mind to spiral into a place of fear and then detour through some twisted logic. "Pull over and let me out."

Maura's eyes widen as she casts a quick glance in Kelly's direction, but she quickly takes a turn down a quieter street than the one they were on. "I most certainly will not. Have you lost your mind?"

"If we're being followed, it's me he's after." Kelly states firmly, her brain insisting that she get out of this car and far away from Maura to keep her safe.

"Precisely why I will not be pulling this vehicle over." Maura says as she hits the central locking button and locks the vehicle.

Kelly looks back over her shoulder and she can see that they are still being followed by a white sedan. The vehicle is at a moderate distance, not right on their tail. "Then what the Hell are we doing?"

"You are going to call Jane." Maura answers calmly.

"She's not likely to answer me, Maura." Kelly retorts even as she is doing as she's told. She pulls her phone from her pocket and pops it on speaker while she calls Jane. It rings several times before she's sent to voicemail. "See, I told you."

"Call her again," Maura insists. "Keep calling her until she answers."

"Let me call her from your phone. She'll answer you." Kelly counters.

"My phone is sitting in my purse at home." Maura explains, "Trust me, she will pick up if you are incessant."

They pull out back onto a main road, which feels like a much safer bet than the side street which was used to confirm their tail. Kelly does as she's asked and she calls Jane again.

And again.

---

"They need to extend visiting hours," Jane gripes, her phone pressed firmly between her ear and her shoulder as she washes her hands. She finishes drying them and then grabs the phone, places it on speaker and sets it down on the kitchen table. She sits down and starts unpacking the inordinate amount of Chinese food that she'll inevitably end up eating for the next three days. "I hate not being able to see you."

Melissa's laughter is soft and it is beyond welcomed by Jane who feels like she hasn't heard enough of it recently. "I facetimed you Jane, you have me staring at the ceiling."

"Son of a…" Jane's voice trails out as she grabs the phone and juggles it as she struggles to prop it up against one of the containers of food. She leans back and asks, "Is this good? Can you see me?"

"Much better."

Melissa's smile is broad and genuine and it warms Jane's heart. She can't help but stare for a moment, despite this being the new normal. Or at least, she thinks it is the new normal. It's the second night this has happened - well last night the call was a little later after she got home from dinner with Maura, but it's two nights of facetime. It's as if Kelly shutting Melissa off from the real world flipped a switch inside her girlfriend making her more anxious to stay in touch with it and Jane is not complaining. No doubt Doctor Levinson would label their relationship as highly co-dependant, but honestly, right now, Jane doesn't care.

They are living through a fucking shit storm of epic proportions and she needs to be able to see Melissa. Actually, she needs to be able to hold her and feel her breath on her skin, but that's not an option after seven at night, which means on a day when she actually works her full shift she barely gets an hour with her girlfriend before she has to leave. This is the next best thing. She'll take what she can get.

"Agreed." Jane finally offers with a soft smile of her own before her stomach rumbles reminding her of what she's doing. Her eyes shift onto the food and she pulls the nearest container over and digs around in the bag to find the included disposable forks and chopsticks. She opts for the fork and starts digging in enthusiastically because she skipped lunch and she thinks she could probably eat a horse. Hence the ridiculous order; that and she really didn't know what she felt like eating. Hungry, but indecisive it turns out is not good for the bank balance.

"Slow down, you're practically inhaling that chicken." Melissa warns, while chuckling.

At least her insatiable appetite at this moment is endearing to her girlfriend. That's a good thing. Jane doesn't say anything, but makes a point to slow down and chew, while doing her best to smirk with her mouth closed. She has no doubt she looks ridiculous, but she doesn't care because Melissa is laughing and smiling and her eyes look alive and at this moment in time it feels like it is everything.

Her phone beeps to indicate an incoming call and Jane's smile disappears. She swallows her food and picks up the phone, she sees that that incoming call is from Kelly and she immediately declines it before putting the phone back into position. She's happy, she's not interested in anything Kelly has to say right now. Maura seemed more than happy last night to play knight in shining armour to her heartbreak, so as far as Jane is concerned, Kelly is all Maura's to deal with now.

"Nope," she mutters under her breath, "Not my problem."

"Jane?"

"Nobody that can't wait." Jane elaborates, "I just want to enjoy my dinner and spend some time with you."

"Key word being enjoy. Savour it, Jane." Melissa encourages with a smirk.

"Oh I am," Jane says, but she isn't talking about the food and the waggle of her eyebrows makes it quite clear what she's referring to.

Kelly calls again and Jane huffs, immediately declining the call and setting the phone back into position again. Can't a woman stare at her gorgeous girlfriend and eat her dinner in peace?

"Okay that's two calls in a row, it sounds urgent. You should answer it, Jane."

"But I don't wanna talk to your wife right now," Jane whines playfully, with just a touch of her frustration at the whole marriage thing underscoring her banter. She doesn't mean to and she isn't even mad at Melissa about it. She gets it. It was something they did for a reason, but a part of her fucking hates it and cannot wait for it be over.

"Jane, please. She's really hurting. You didn't see the heartbreak in her eyes when she left the room yesterday, alright? I did. Forget your jealousy for a minute and just be her friend? Please."

"I'm not jealous," Jane huffs, choosing not to think about how she played a part in ripping her friend's heart to shreds.

Melissa doesn't say anything, she just looks at her pointedly and even on the small screen of her phone Jane can read her thoughts. "Fine," Jane huffs out again, feeling particularly put out. "If she calls again I'll answer, okay?"

"Call her." Melissa says firmly, "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you, Jane."

Jane manages a smile and nods softly, because she knows that Melissa is right. Kelly called twice. She isn't likely to call again and the fact she called twice means she ought to respect the situation. She just loathes that it's cut into her time with Melissa, but for the sake of harmony in her relationship she offers a gentle "I love you," of her own and hangs up.

Before she can even think about following through on her word her phone rings again and she answers, putting it on speaker so she can at least eat while she dissects what the Hell is going on. "What's up?"

"Jane," immediately the detective recognises Maura's voice and that she's on speaker too. Sounds like she's in a vehicle. More importantly she knows that tone: calm, clipped, worried.

"What's going on Maura?" Jane blurts, her heart starting to pound a little harder in her chest. She's got a bad feeling rumbling in her gut.

"I do believe we're being followed."

Jane is up out of her seat in a flash, the phone in her hand as she retrieves her service weapon from the lockbox and says, "Where are you? Are you far from here?"

"We're a couple of minutes away."

"Alright I want you to come straight here and pull into the driveway. I'll be out front waiting." Jane says this as she herself grabs her keys to pull her vehicle out of the drive and onto the street so that there's room for Maura's vehicle. In fact, not wanting to waste time she simply pulls into the parking lot of the church next door and quickly jogs back to a position waiting at the gate.

Maura, being practical, still sounds calm and rattles off, "The vehicle is a white sedan, licence plate foxtrot charlie nine one seven five."

"That's awesome Maur, just stay calm and drive casually like you haven't noticed anything. I'm waiting right here." Jane says as she hurriedly composes a text message and sends it off to Jacob. He's on the late shift this week and will be able to check the details of the vehicle.

Maura keeps talking but her words filter in one ear and out the other. On a subconscious level she recognises that Maura is still her uniquely calm yet worried self. Her thoughts however are sifting through everything she knows and perhaps more scarily, what she doesn't know about the psychopath most likely behind the wheel of the vehicle following Maura and presumably Kelly since the call is from her phone.

The pounding in her chest heightens as while she feels confident her presence will ward off any attack she can't truly be certain. She just knows that this is Maura's life potentially on the line here. She must do something. Her hand tightens around her service weapon as she sees Maura's vehicle pull into the driveway. Immediately she pockets her phone and lifts her eyes, bringing her second hand to the weapon and watches as a white sedan slows, the passenger side window winding down.

Jane hedges around in front of Maura's vehicle and lifts her weapon. Her finger rests on the trigger and if she wasn't an ace at assessing threat, she may well have emptied her clip. Instead she watches as a masked, gloved man makes a finger gun in her direction before putting the pedal to the metal and speeding away. There is zero doubt in her mind that it's the prick she's been chasing for weeks and it leaves her feeling sick to her stomach. She can't help but imagine what may have happened if Maura didn't recognise the threat. They are some very gruesome, grizzly, emotionally devastating thoughts that leave her shaking.

She almost jumps out of her skin when she feels a hand on her arm. She sucks in a deep breath and glances sideways at Maura who is looking up worriedly at her. She flicks the safety on her weapon, lowers it and motions to Maura and Kelly to head inside. They need to debrief, because what just happened presents a clear and present danger that they must all take seriously.

After making sure to lock the screen door and the front door behind her Jane joins Maura and Kelly in the living room. Kelly has already slumped into an armchair and she's staring off into space absently. She looks pretty pale too, no doubt she's feeling the enormity of what just happened. Maura's sitting on the couch, hands folded neatly on her lap. Jane can't tell how she's feeling right now and imagines she won't get a true read on it until they're alone.

She sits down next to Maura but keeps some space between them because even though Kelly appears out of it and even though every cell in her body yearns to comfort Maura right now those actions are the kind of actions that could be very quickly twisted into something more than they are and she doesn't want Kelly to start second guessing her recent decisions. She has to play it cool.

"Are you alright?" Jane asks, her voice low and her eyes planted firmly on Maura, who appears focused on Kelly.

Maura turns her gaze to Jane and nods once.

A couple of seconds of looking into her eyes tells Jane that her brain is in overdrive and she gently pats Maura's knee to comfort her. "I don't think you were the target."

"I was," Kelly says, her shaky voice looming large in an otherwise quiet room. "This is 'cause I came back isn't it?"

Jane rubs her neck, trying to rid herself of the tension her body has felt from the moment she heard Maura's voice a few minutes ago. "Possibly. I don't know. Alexis' murder has really thrown off any understanding of his motivation I have."

Kelly nods once, as if the words somehow provide cold comfort and she presumably returns to her own thoughts as she looks away and resumes staring off into space.

Jane's focus returns to her best friend. "Maur?"

Maura rapidly blinks a few times and then she quite calmly states, "He doesn't just want to punish Rachael. This is about Gabby too."

It only takes a moment but Jane quickly hops on Maura's thought train. "Attacking Missy was about both of them, Alexis about Gabby and Kelly's a target because she's close to Missy. Because anything that torments her, will torment Rachael and Gabby."

Maura nods and then hits Jane with a harrowing look, "And you, Jane. This guy is sophisticated, highly intelligent and evolving."

For fuck's sake, why is it she always attracts the psychopaths with a desire to be challenged? Jane throws her head into the back of the couch and shakes it a few times, completely exasperated with this whole thing. Rachael started it and once a-damn-gain she has perhaps become the target of yet another psychopath's ire. "Then you're in danger too."

"I know." Maura says quietly as she starts moving toward the door, "That's why I have to go."

Jane jumps up and grabs Maura by the wrist before her brain can catch up with her actions. She watches Maura's eyebrows fly upwards and before she can stop herself Jane says in utter disbelief, "The fuck you are!"

Maura yanks her arm free and stares back at Jane in her own apparent disbelief. She matches Jane's energy and quite vehemently states, "Oh yes the fuck I am."

Jane stares incredulously and splutters out, "You can't be serious Maura? There's a psychopath out there who knows where you live!"

There's a fierce defiance burning in Maura's eyes as she states, "Gabby's home alone."

Jane pulls her phone out of her pocket and shoves it into Maura's hand. "Call her. Get her to come here."

Muara steps past her and paces towards the dining room before walking back and looking at her with almost pleading eyes. It shifts something deep within Jane, encouraging her to pay close attention as Maura speaks. "If I call her from your phone she will know something is wrong. Her senses are already heightened, Jane. She's already jumping at shadows and crawling out of her skin with anxiety."

Jane rubs at the back of her neck in an attempt to ease the tension she feels while her brain calculates her options which feel like they are dwindling fast. She comes up with what feels like her last and best idea. "Okay, so let's all go back to your place. Strength in numbers."

Maura shakes her head and hands the phone back to Jane. "That is not an option."

"Maura, come on…"

"I will not threaten her mental wellbeing just to satiate your need to play protector. I've already pushed her too hard tonight."

"Maura, please." Jane isn't adverse to begging. She feels completely sick at the thought of letting Maura go back out there with an active psychopath on the loose.

Jane almost jumps when she feels a hand on her shoulder. Gabby apparently isn't the only one jumping at shadows. Jane turns so that she can catch Kelly in her vision.

"Maura's right. Gabby is struggling and the last thing she needs is me in her face." Kelly explains, offering a compassionate smile past Jane's shoulder in Maura's direction.

Jane's fairly certain all the women in her life have lost their minds and is preparing to launch one more heartfelt plea when Maura cuts her off at the knees with a very simple, heartfelt statement.

"I love her, Jane. I'm in love with her."

Jane snaps her head back around, immediately locking on to hazel orbs. It's more than just the truth long acknowledged between them lingering in Maura's eyes. The level of desperation and fear for Gabby's safety is a feeling Jane understands all too well. She has been in this position. She has in many ways sacrificed damn near everything near and dear to her for Melissa. So she well and truly gets it. This isn't just some consolation prize level of love Maura's found, this is something deep and scary and suddenly all of her hesitance to tell Gabby how she feels makes sense. It hits her hard, but Jane swallows it all down. This is what she wants for Maura, even if it terrifies her to watch Maura walk out the door with a madman on the loose.

"Go," She utters hoarsely, almost choking on the emotion catching in her throat as she stands aside so that Maura can leave the house unimpeded.

Maura offers her an appreciative smile as she walks by and briefly places what Jane imagines is meant to be a comforting hand on her shoulder. Jane tries to smile and nod her support, all the while jamming her hands in her pockets in an attempt to stop her subconscious from taking over again. Jane's pretty sure that she looks like a beaten down old dog. She can't bring herself to be happy about this decision at all because it is terrifying acknowledging that she can't be Maura's protector anymore. That she has to let Maura make her own decisions no matter the consequences. That she has to trust someone else to keep her safe.

"You did the right thing."

Kelly's words ring hollow in Jane's ears. She just stares at the space vacated by her best friend and flinches a little when the front door closes. It's almost as if getting exactly what she wanted the other day with their goodbye kiss looks nothing like what she bargained for at all. She encouraged this. She practically begged Maura to let her go and now that she has, now that she isn't the most important person in Maura's life, Jane feels adrift. She understands on a fundamental level this is how it is supposed to be now and she really, really wouldn't change it. Melissa means the world to her and Maura deserves the chance to find that same kind of love elsewhere, she really, truly does. She just really didn't anticipate how hard it would hit when she actually had to take a step back and let Maura live her life.

"Jane?"

Jane shakes herself out of her reverie and turns to look at Kelly. Could her life get any more ridiculous at this point? She has to wonder. "Yeah?" She questions with a look.

"She's stronger than you think."

"Yeah," Jane agrees absently, more than aware that Maura Isles might well be the strongest of them all. She changes the subject, determined not to dwell. "I think you should stay here tonight."

"I dunno if that's a good idea, Jane."

"You can go if you can tell me how I explain to your wife that all of this happened and I just let you leave to go back to an apartment. By yourself." Jane's pretty sure the answer is that no, no her life cannot get more ridiculous. This divorce cannot happen fast enough. But that doesn't mean she won't use the current marriage to her advantage to make sure Kelly stays the night and into the foreseeable future if necessary. She is not messing around with this. Not when both Melissa and Maura now give a crap about this woman. "Because I am sure that will go over really damn well, Kel." Jane concludes with a sarcastic flourish.

Kelly doesn't have an answer. All she can manage is a shrug.

"Exactly. Now do you want the spare room or the couch?"

Kelly's confused look prompts Jane to explain further. "You're more than welcome to sleep in the master bedroom if you want, but I sure as Hell can't bring myself to sleep in the same room Missy was repeatedly assaulted in."

Kelly's face contorts into something that looks like it belongs in a horror movie and Jane's fairly certain that she feels as she does.

"Just figure it out, I need to make a call." Jane says, too impatient to wait for Kelly's brain to calm down long enough to verbalise a response.

She takes her phone into the kitchen and calls Jacob. "What have you got for me?"

"Car is registered to Alicia Cosgrove, thirty five."

"Have you gotten hold of her yet?"

"Not yet."

"Let me know what you find when you do."

"Will do."

Jane recognises that the odds are the vehicle was stolen as this psychopath has been too organised and forensically alert to trip up and use a vehicle in his or a family member's life. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be diligent. "Put a BOLO out on the car. Maybe we'll get really lucky."

"Already done."

Jane closes her eyes and nods softly despite the fact he can't see her. She's incredibly grateful that this man is beyond competent at his job and that she can trust him. "I really hope we get something, Jacob."

"Me too, Jane. Me too."

"Do me another favour will you?"

"Sure, anything."

"Drive by Maura's a few time's tonight. Keep an eye on things. She insisted on going home to Gabby. Couldn't talk any damn sense into her." Jane says, a little of her frustration creeping in.

"Will do."

"Great. I'll talk to you in the morning, unless you catch the guy. If that happens, call me."

"Will do. Goodnight Jane."

"Goodnight Jacob."

Jane ends the call and thinks about how she has to go back into the living room and face Kelly. She's dog tired. Emotionally drained to the point that she doesn't have any shits left to give and yet she knows she has to find some empathy from somewhere. She does the only thing she can. She calls Melissa.

"Hey," she offers softly, summoning up the very last ounce of tenderness she thinks she can muster for the night. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"You didn't. Is everything alright? Is Kelly okay?"

Jane pulls out a chair from the table and sits down heavily. She holds the phone to her ear with one hand and threads the other through her hair. She doesn't know how Melissa does it, but just hearing the sincerity in her voice and her genuine concern for everyone begins the process of recharging her own empathy batteries. "She's fine. I'm fine. I'll tell you about it tomorrow night. I just needed to hear your voice."

"I'm right here, sweetheart."

"Thank you," she utters almost silently before placing her phone on speaker and setting it down on the table. She leans forward, elbows down and buries her face in her hands. She cries silently as she listens to Melissa breathing. Tears trickle down her face into her hands. It's cathartic, but she wipes them away and looks up a little startled when she hears a noise coming from the living room. Kelly's now standing in the doorway, studying her closely.

A part of Jane is angry that Kelly dares intrude on a private moment, but she knows that Kelly wasn't to know what was happening in here. "Hey Missy, I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," Melissa sounds concerned, but she doesn't voice it. "I love you."

"Love you too. G'night sweetheart."

Jane ends the call and looks up at Kelly who is still just standing there. She looks a little sad, but for the longest time she doesn't say anything. Finally, seemingly out of nowhere after what feels like an eternity just staring at one another, Kelly speaks. "She really shouldn't come back here."

"Agreed." Jane says, knowing in her heart that she needs to have a very serious conversation with Melissa about their future because Kelly isn't wrong. It is not good for Melissa's long term mental health to be living in the same house where her abuse happened and as much as a big part of her would like to whisk her away to Boston, it may not be what Melissa wants. She won't force that, but she sure as Hell won't allow them to stay in this house longer than they have to either.

Change is long overdue.

---

After letting herself inside Maura locks the front door and sets the alarm system. She takes a moment to stand there and gather her senses. All of the calm she exuded earlier in the evening disappears as the reality of the world she's currently living in jumps to the forefront of her mind. It was so easy to be lulled into a false sense of security when this was considered to be about Rachael, but she should have known from the moment Alexis died this was about more than that woman.

Maybe she has known deep down in her subconscious this whole time. Maybe this is one of the reasons silently fueling her reticence to admit out loud how she feels to the one person who ought to know. Putting herself in Gabby's path puts her right in the firing line. She likes life. She likes living. It's nice, even through all of it's heartaches. So it makes sense that on some level she fears the increased risk that comes along with the potential rewards.

No, it doesn't.

It never has. She has never been the sort to back down from love just because of an increased risk. When she thought this was about Hoyt, it didn't stop her loving Jane and it didn't stop her wanting to be with her. So to have used that fear as yet another reason not to pursue love now, is well, quite unacceptable and ridiculously disrespectful.

If being followed tonight and holding genuine, albeit brief fears for her own life has made anything abundantly clear, it is that she does love Gabby. More than that, despite perhaps her better judgement, she's irrefutably in love with her. There's zero denying it anymore. This is where she not only wants to be, but where she needs to be.

Even Jane sees it.

Maura lets out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding while taking her moment to recalibrate and ride the waves of emotion inundating her senses. She feels her heightened anxiety and it gets her feet moving towards the living room where sounds emanate from the television. She needs to see Gabby. She needs to make sure she's okay.

It's more than that too. She doesn't really have the words to quantify the level of need coursing through her blood. There are actions, many, many actions that might begin to explain the level of unadulterated yearning she feels; most of which are simply not feasible at this point of time in Gabby's recovery.

Mindful of the importance of Gabby's mental, emotional and physical recoveries, Maura attempts to dampen the wildfire spreading rapidly from her heart throughout her body before opening the living room door and stepping inside. She fortifies herself with a deep breath and looks up at Gabby with every intention of offering her a soft smile and taking a moment to allow her brain to be reassured that all is well.

Gabby looks so peaceful with her feet curled up underneath her and her head lulling against her hand which is propped up by her elbow resting against the arm of the couch. Her head lifts and she offers a tired smile and for a moment Maura thinks that she's doing a fantastic job at smiling back. For a moment she thinks that she appears perfectly normal.

The moment is fleeting as the smile falls from Gabby's face and she quickly rises to her feet. She's speaking, and while Maura can see her mouth moving it takes her long enough for Gabby to bridge the distance between them to realise she didn't hear a single word. She furrows her brow and concentrates extra hard on Gabby's lips as her best friend's hands grip her shoulders firmly.

"Maura, what's wrong?"

I was followed tonight. It very well could have been the psychopath that murdered Alexis. I could have been next.

Her thoughts are cool, calm, succinct. However she doesn't voice them, because before she can open her mouth another little voice in the back of her mind warns her that if she does it could trigger Gabby. So she hesitates and stammers, "I… um… I… don't know."

Gabby's eyes search hers as her hands start gently rubbing back and forth along her shoulder and upper arm in a soothing motion. Maura relishes her touch and steps forward, thankful that her best friend understands her need. Gabby's arms pull her closer and she buries her face against Gabby's shoulder. She wraps her arms tightly around Gabby's back and closes her eyes as her tears start falling rapidly.

Gabby murmurs sweet nothings in her ear and Maura can't help the sob that escapes. She feels the tension in Gabby's body. She's undoubtedly worried. She wants to put her mind at ease, but she doesn't know how to do that. She doesn't want to talk about what happened. She doesn't want to say anything that would leave Gabby blaming herself even more than she already does for Alexis' death.

"Please don't leave," Maura begs through her tears. She is not reacting well at all. Undoubtedly making little to no sense to Gabby, but at the crux of all of her concerns about pursuing a relationship with this woman is the fear she will leave, whether by choice or otherwise. Apparently now is the time her subconscious wants to throw all of that into the field of play.

Gabby takes a small step back and brings her hands up to cup Maura's cheeks. She gently wipes her tears away with the pads of her thumbs and offers a very soft, albeit slightly puzzled look as she reassures, "I'm right here, Maura. I'm not going anywhere."

Maura averts her eyes from Gabby's all too tender, but very searching gaze, afraid that she'll be able to see all of the unsaid things between them in her eyes. All this time she has worried about Gabby's recovery and grief while continuing to ignore her own. Right now she feels like everything is hitting her at once and all she wants is to collapse into Gabby's arms and be held all night while she sobs relentlessly until there are no more tears left to shed.

But she's afraid to ask for it. It's a completely irrational fear, because she knows deep down whether there is an ounce of romance between them or not, Gabby would not hesitate to do precisely that. The Australian's loyalty to her has already been proven. It's a loyalty she has earned. A loyalty she is worthy of and yet fear continues to hold her back.

"Come with me," Gabby says quietly, grabbing Maura by the hand and tugging lightly as she looks to step past her into the foyer. Maura follows as Gabby guides her to the base of the stairs and pauses. She says, "I'm going to run you a hot bath with some of those bath salts you enjoy. I'm then going to get you a glass of wine and you are going to pamper yourself by taking some time to relax."

Maura's heart is almost bursting at the seams with love and affection as she listens. It isn't quite what she had in mind, but it offers her privacy to allow herself to feel what she needs to feel. It offers her an opportunity to recompose herself and find clarity of purpose. She leans forward and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Gabby's mouth and smiles appreciatively through several fresh, happy tears.

Gabby's smile is both genuine and a little relieved as she turns and leads them up the stairs to the master bathroom. She does precisely as she said she would, while Maura disappears into the bedroom to sort out her nightwear. She takes her time and doesn't emerge until she hears Gabby making her way down the stairs. Her clothes make their way into the hamper and she checks the temperature of the water with her hand first. It feels perfect. She carefully steps into the tub and slides into the water, enjoying both the warmth and the aroma.

A few minutes later there's a soft knock at the door and then Gabby enters with a glass of red wine. She is very respectful with her gaze, focusing directly on Maura's eyes. She hands her the glass and says, "Sing out if you need anything. I'll be across the way."

For the next thirty minutes Maura allows herself to enjoy a thorough soaking, and while most of the time she sits up so that her head, upper back and arms are out of the water, she allows herself several dips under completely, where she squeezes her eyes shut and holds her breath. Only emerging to fill her lungs with much needed oxygen when she starts to feel the strain. It's something she's worked on for years, it's why she's usually the last to need oxygen during a heated kiss, because she has trained her lungs to go longer without breathing. Not only that, but the process allows her to calm her mind completely as her only focus is on holding her breath and emerging before she passes out and drowns herself. That would be an incredibly embarrassing way to go for a highly regarded forensic pathologist.

Through her breathing exercises and the aromatherapy of the bath salts she is able to clear her mind of most of her emotional distress. She thinks about the events of the evening clinically. She examines the things she learned about her own emotional reaction during the moments of duress and draws conclusions on what she would like to do with the empirical data supporting what she and Jane, especially Jane, appear to have known all along.

Of course Jane could see it. There's a reason they are so close. There's a reason they almost married. They simply understand each other on an innate level and it is only stubbornness and pride that has kept them from being more honest with one another sooner. Maura realises that all the questions she has about Jane cheerleading for Gabby have been summarily answered. Jane could see what her heart refused to acknowledge because of many, many fears, both founded and unfounded. Jane understood the depths of her love for Gabby before she did, and really she shouldn't be surprised. She shouldn't have questioned, even if just in her own mind, the earnestness of Jane's cheerleading. Jane is not Gabby's biggest fan. Far from it. That in itself speaks volumes. She should have listened.

Well she doesn't need Jane to tell her anymore. Her fear for Gabby's safety combined with the only thought she had the moment the danger was over, was to crawl into Gabby's arms and never let go, is all the confirmation she needs. She called Jane in her moment of danger because it was the most pertinent course of action at that moment in time and because she so desperately wanted to make it home to Gabby; to her truth.

Now that she is calm again and her fears are tempered, at least temporarily, she wants to make her feelings known. Life is fleeting. It can be extinguished in the blink of an eye. Especially given current circumstances. She doesn't want to waste another minute of her life being afraid and alone. She may not be able to do much about the former, but the latter, well the latter is a matter of a simple conversation. At least she hopes that's all it takes.

After she climbs out of the tub she takes a few minutes to rinse off in the shower, as while a bath may be quite relaxing it isn't near as clean. Content with her cleanliness she dries off, changes into her powder blue silk pyjamas and blows her hair dry. She brushes her teeth and washes her mouth out with mouthwash before rinsing and then drifts across the second story landing and stands in the doorway of the spare bedroom.

Gabby yawns and stretches, illuminated by the dim light from the bedside lamp. She offers a sleepy smile as she lifts the covers and gently pats the mattress beside herself. No words are necessary as Maura's body moves, instantly drawn to the offered comfort. This quiet understanding that Gabby is capable of highlights a tender side that is reserved only for those she cares about. Maura considers herself fortunate to be counted as one of those few.

Maura makes quick and surprisingly elegant work of sliding under the covers and cosying up next to Gabby who winces a little as she reaches over to turn out the light. Maura brings her hand to rest gently against Gabby's side and says, "Leave it on, please."

Gabby shifts her weight and rolls onto her left side so that she is facing Maura. Her arm under her body bends at the elbow and she threads her hand through Maura's hair. Emerald eyes glimmer with tenderness and concern, only drawing Maura deeper and deeper into her free fall. It feels as if the past couple of weeks when she's looked at this woman all of her fear and worry crippled her ability to feel the love that is now surging rapidly through every cell in her body. She's thankful she gets to look into such striking eyes at the same time as her heart is allowing itself the freedom to love. She is mesmerised.

Gabby's right hand tucks several strands of hair back behind her ear in a move that is practised intimacy between them. Maura's eyes close, enjoying the sensation of Gabby's hand lightly grazing her cheek. A soft whimper escapes Maura's lips as she turns into Gabby's hand and softly kisses her palm several times. There's a swell of want and desire coursing through her blood, but her goal isn't sexual tonight. Not by a long shot. There's too much healing to be done. However this gentle intimacy is something she craves. It's more than that. It's something she needs. Something that feels like it has been missing from her life for far too long.

"Gabrielle," she utters, her eyes opening and honing in on the emerald orbs that appear to be studying her intensely. "Kiss me."

Gabby doesn't speak, she simply follows the command. She cups Maura's cheek as she leans in and presses their lips together briefly. It's a gentle tease that would frustrate Maura if Gabby's lips didn't almost immediately find hers again. There's no rush to go beyond the tenderness of lips sliding in a beautiful synchronicity with moments where they pull apart just to crash back together again.

It feels like hesitance at times, but a moment pulling back to look into Gabby's eyes tells her that it's actually self control. This moment has been years in the making and every other recent physical intimacy they've shared pales in comparison. This isn't just lust and physical desire. This is an explosion of feeling begging to be released with nowhere to go because neither of them want to rush through this moment.

"Maura," Gabby husks out after a few more minutes of languid kissing. "What happened?"

It's a more than fair question. Gabby is not an idiot. She undoubtedly understands everything that is happening here without a word having been spoken between them about it. She's also more than intelligent enough to know that something had to have spurred an epiphany or shocked her out of her trepidation.

Maura runs her hand through Gabby's hair and sighs. She'd really like to go back to the soft, gentle kissing, but that doesn't get her what she yearns for. It doesn't get her an open, honest romantic relationship. It's just figuring out the right words and whether to lead with the event itself, which will likely distract Gabby from the result. Or to simply lead with her heart. She opts for the latter, keeping it very simple. "I love you."

Gabby leans in and presses a lingering kiss against her lips, before bringing her mouth next to Maura's ear and whispering, "I know."

Desire cascades along her nerves, causing Maura to bite her lip. It's going to be a lot harder than she expected to keep her libido in check with Gabby hitting her weak spots like this. "My love," she says, using the term of endearment that makes it very clear she is claiming Gabby as her own. "You're still recovering and we really should talk."

Gabby draws back and offers Maura a soft look. "You're right. You'll have to forgive me, Maura. I wasn't sure this day was coming."

"Well it's here." Maura declares as she fusses a little and encourages Gabby to return to a position on her back. Once that's done she nestles in against her side and brings her head to rest against Gabby's chest. Conversation between them has always been easier when they are in bed together, sharing intimacy.

"Kelly and I were followed tonight." Maura simply launches the truth out of nowhere and she feels Gabby's body tense beneath her. She reaches down for Gabby's hand, entwines their fingers and gives a gentle squeeze. "I detoured via Jane's and we avoided any incident."

"Was it him?" Gabby's voice is low, and if Maura isn't mistaken, sounds like it's shaking a little.

"I honestly don't know. I came home almost immediately."

Maura feel's Gabby's body attempt to rise beneath her, but she sits up so that she can meet Gabby's steely gaze and says, "My love, please."

"She let you leave alone? She fucking let you leave alone?" Gabby's anger rumbles out of her throat, but she allows her body to sink back down into the mattress. Behind the anger there's fear locked in the eyes staring up at Maura.

"Darling," she coos softly, "I'm alright. I'm safe. I'm here, with you."

Several tears slowly trickle down Gabby's cheek. The display of emotion is something Maura would usually see Gabby shy away from, but she doesn't budge. She doesn't even attempt to wipe the tears away. She may not have the words to properly voice all of her fear and distress but she's making a point to show her vulnerability and it brings Maura serious comfort and hope for their future.

Maura leans down and kisses each cheek, before gently wiping the tears away with her thumb. Because she really doesn't want Gabby to get overwhelmed she shifts gears. "I know there's so much we need to discuss, but can we leave it until tomorrow?"

Gabby nods tentatively.

Maura is thankful, because she doesn't want to dwell in the fear of reality right now. She wants to revel in her new found freedom. She wants to spend the night in the arms of the woman she loves, knowing that she is loved in return.

Gabby gently tugs at her hand to encourage her to return to her position of warmth and safety and Maura does precisely that, curling up against her side, with her head resting on her chest. Gabby kisses the top of her head and hesitantly questions, "This is real, isn't it? This is… us?"

Maura presses her lips against Gabby's chest and nods in confirmation. "This is us."

---

Jane opens the brown paper bag Jacob hands her to find a blueberry muffin inside. She smiles and ushers him inside the house with a shushing motion. She leads him further into the house, gently closing the door between the living room and dining room behind them.

In answer to the questioning look on his face she explains, "Kelly's in the spare room, still sleeping."

It takes a beat, but once he realises who she's referring to he chooses to exaggerate the scandalised look he offers her when he clarifies with a gasp, "The wife?"

Jane rolls her eyes at his theatrics, but smirks a little anyway. She motions for him to take a seat and sets the bag with her muffin on the table. "Coffee?"

He shakes his head. "I'll never sleep if I do. So what's she doing here?"

"Didn't want her to go back to her motel apartment alone. Not with that psychopath playing juvenile games."

"That's why I'm here," he says motioning at the brown paper bag, "Trying to soften the blow. I was able to contact Alicia Cosgrove. She's in Melbourne on business. Her vehicle was left parked in her driveway at her home in Summerhill."

Jane sits down at the table and shakes her head lightly. "It's not like I was expecting much."

"That's not all. I went for a drive out there with Constable Harding to see if there was anything noticeable and you won't believe what I found."

Jane stares at him, waiting.

"The vehicle. Engine was still warm. We looked around but we didn't find anyone or anything suspicious. Had forensics give the car a once over and it was wiped clean, there were no prints. It was spotless. Lock was jimmied and it was hot wired. Other than that there's nothing much else I can tell you."

Jane sighs. She expected this and yet she still feels disappointed. The broadening list of targets and shifting motives only add to her stress over the situation. It has been bad enough worrying about Melissa's safety, but now she has to add Maura's on top with zero indication that much will change in her routine. She actually finds herself hoping that Maura came clean to Gabby about her feelings last night and about what happened. With any luck it will have resulted in Gabby activating her overprotective nature.

"I'm really sorry Jane." Jacob says, "But it gets worse."

"What?" She almost snaps, as his comment shocks her out of her own head. "Worse? How?"

"Dad's called in the feds to help. I'm sure you'll hear all about it when you arrive on shift this morning."

Jane's brow furrows in confusion. Her understanding of the Australian Federal Police is that they don't tend to interfere with state crimes. Not even when it crosses state lines. Murder is entirely left up to the state police unless it is related to organised crime be it drug or people trafficking, or any other crime against the commonwealth. Alexis' murder hardly qualifies. "How?"

Jacob shrugs. "Beats me. Perhaps a forensic expert? I mean I know they do help with forensics when requested. Still feels a bit weird."

Understatement of the century.

"Guess I'll learn more in a couple of hours."

The door opens, drawing the attention of both people sitting at the dining table. Kelly walks through, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She freezes when she realises Jane isn't alone and casts her eyes in Jane's direction.

"Kelly, this is Jacob. I work with him. Jacob, this is Kelly."

"Uh, hi." Kelly offers a little awkwardly.

"We were just talking about the investigation into what happened last night." Jane explains.

"Yeah, sure." Kelly says, clearly not interested. "Can you drop me back at the apartment before work?"

"A threat was made on your life last night Kel. I'd feel a lot better if you stayed here until you head back home." Jane says, already sensing she has a real battle on her hands.

"So what? You want me to hang out with the dog all day while you're at work?" Kelly asks sarcastically.

"That's surely better than being alone in your apartment." Jane snaps back.

"Not for me." Kelly says, folding her arms over her chest. "I'd rather take my chances out there with him."

Jane wants to curse Kelly out with every name under the sun, but she chooses to bite her tongue. There's only so much she can do. She most certainly cannot force her to stay if she doesn't want to. Apparently their peaceful truce has passed. She has no idea what happened, but Kelly is back to being a woman scorned and it isn't good for either of their blood pressure to be arguing over this.

"Fine." Jane huffs, "Just please be vigilant and maybe think about going home to Boston sooner rather than later."

"I'll think about it," Kelly concedes as she disappears down the hall towards the bathroom.

Jane sighs and shakes her head. She looks back at Jacob who could only look more entertained if he had a bowl of popcorn sitting in front of him. "Not a word," she hisses in warning.

Jacob chuckles. "I'll drop her back at the apartment if you like. Your morning is going to be stressful enough as it is."

Jane mouths a 'thank you' before snatching up the brown paper bag and pulling out the muffin. She lifts the muffin in his direction as if she's toasting him and says, "And for this too."

---

Gabby stands in the doorway to the upstairs spare room and lets out a quiet sigh. In the brief time it took to go to the bathroom a sleeping Maura has somehow spread herself out across most of the bed. It's an unusual morning by Maura's typical early rising standards, but she supposes that it was a big night. She wishes she had the ability to sleep as comfortably and soundly as her girlfriend does.

Girlfriend.

It's a word that rattles around in her brain. It's been rattling around in there most of the night in fact. She's not even sure she managed much sleep at all. Between the odd twinge of pain and her thoughts, there's simply been no chance of it. Not to mention the moment Maura fell asleep against her chest, she dared not move for fear of waking her. She's still not precisely sure how she didn't stir when there was no choice but to move thanks to the call of nature.

There's a big part of her that would happily stand here all day watching Maura sleep, but at some point it becomes creepy and she's exhausted. She's in desperate need of some rest, so she sneaks away quietly and heads downstairs because she's not ready to walk into the master bedroom and treat it as her own.

Quite frankly she's not yet sure this whole girlfriend, relationship thing that Maura was alluding to last night is going to stick in the light of a new day. Gabby is more than aware that she has a lot of mental hurdles to overcome and if anything has been made abundantly clear by Maura since the moment she boldly declared she would never leave (and then proceeded to try and do so permanently in the dumbest of moves), it's that Maura is both aware and wary of those hurdles. Not that she can blame her.

She doesn't want this relationship to start because Maura's afraid. She wants it to start because Maura chooses her. Because Maura wants her. Last night Maura was clearly not herself and while she definitely let her walls down, there's reason to be concerned. Gabby really hopes that Maura had some sort of epiphany like it sort of felt like it was and didn't just fall into her arms because she was freaked out.

There was very obvious want and desire in both of them and yet there wasn't a single moment where either of them really tried to heat things up. She wasn't even tempted. Mostly because she was indeed caught up in the moment and Maura's vulnerability and treating her with the respect and reverence she deserves.

Downstairs, Gabby thinks about making breakfast. It would be a wonderful surprise no doubt and she is feeling peckish, but her body is screaming for rest. It feels more like time to take a painkiller and try to get what sleep she can before analysis of the night before happens. Because thinking about the future while in pain and on little sleep on the heels of Maura potentially being followed by the prick who killed Alexis is something that will give her fits. It will remind her that loving Maura may very well have placed a giant fucking target on her forehead and on a very deep level that worries Gabby. It worries her so much that she doesn't want the thoughts to keep bouncing around her brain while she's sleep deprived.

Gabby fills a glass with water in the kitchen and carries it back to the spare room, setting it down on the side table. She's lethargic and achy when she sits down on the edge of the bed and picks up her medication from the side table. She pops half a dose of her recommended pain medication from the bottle, grabs the water and washes it down before she sets the glass back down again. She settles into bed and closes her eyes. She goes to sleep replaying last night's kiss in her head, over and over again.

Gabby launches out of her truck and sprints at breakneck speed toward the front entrance. Her body slams into the doorway and she bounces forward into the house, drawing her service weapon. She only has eyes for the stairs. The sound of screeching tires and Jane's cries of warning fade into irrelevance as she desperately call's out, "Alex, baby?"

She launches herself up the stairs, taking three at a time, desperate to reach the apex, praying she isn't too late. Adrenaline pumps through her system, removing all fear as she grinds to a halt on the landing. The coppery smell of blood reminds her of the terror that has driven every action leading up to this point and her eyes rapidly scan the open plan living area of the house. She sees the blood smears on the kitchen island. Desperation pumps through her blood as she utters, "No, no, no, no!"

She rounds the island and an unholy, agonised scream escapes her throat. She drops to her knees in front of Alexis who is propped against the island, clutching at several of all too many stab wounds. She tries to assess the damage, but she knows in her heart there's nothing she can do. There's no stopping the crimson tide. "I'm here baby," she murmurs, pulling her girlfriend into her arms. She clings to her and as jet black hair transforms into a familiar honey blonde, Gabby buries her face with a wail into blood streaked tresses. As the scent of Maura's high end shampoo fills Gabby's senses, she feels a blood curdling scream rip from what feels to be the very heart of her soul.

"Maura!" Gabby's eyes snap open and she feels disoriented. Her heart pounds rapidly in her chest and for a moment she feels a chilling, existential dread.

A light touch on her arm sends her into overdrive as she launches sideways across the bed towards the far wall, putting space between her and whoever the Hell just touched her. She's up on her feet, heart pounding, lungs rapidly sucking in oxygen in an attempt to keep up with the adrenaline surging through her system before she even realises that Maura is standing on the other side of the bed looking absolutely shocked.

Oh shit.

"Crikey Maura, you scared the crap out of me." She declares in an attempt to calm the situation down, before clutching at her abdomen and hissing in pain. She clearly isn't ready for strenuous activity. She waves Maura away, not wanting to be too close to her. Not right now. Looking at her brings back flashes of her memories converting into her worst freaking nightmare.

"Love, are you alright?" Maura inquires quietly.

Gabby rubs her palm against her forehead and grits her teeth. She is so far from alright and she is too damn exhausted for this. This whole thing is a terrible bloody mistake. She should never have broken down into a blubbering mess making bold declarations like she would never leave. Not to this woman. Not to this angel who walks the earth and wants nothing more than to ease her suffering. Her life is in danger because of this. Because of her insane fucking need to be loved.

"Damnit." Gabby growls, spinning and slamming her palm against the wall. It's all in motion now. It doesn't matter what she does here. She could walk out that door and never look back. She could stay and give Maura what she essentially asked for last night and be her woman. It simply doesn't matter. She turns to look at what feels like her last chance of salvation standing there filled with trepidation and realises she's scaring her. She can feel it in every cell of her body.

But it's worse than that. It's so much worse than that and she doesn't have the words to begin to explain what she's feeling. All she knows is she's staring at her salvation with the very distinct knowledge that Maura Isles may very well be a dead woman walking and it is all her own friggin' fault.

"She should've let me die." Gabby utters under her breath. She realises Maura's overheard her when her eyes widen and she looks absolutely hurt and, Christ, she knows she should care. She knows she should try to explain, but how can she? She shakes her head and turns away. She can't look at her. She can't look into those heartbroken eyes knowing that she's the cause. "You'd be safe."

Silence descends between them, not that there had been much of anything going on other than her own frustrated, angry mutterings. The tiny slither of humanity left in her urges her to turn around and she listens. She looks up at Maura as stone faced as she can. Stubbornly refusing to let her in.

Maura's face is passive and she quietly says, "I'll make you some chamomile tea. It will help you relax."

Gabby waits for her to leave before she drops to her haunches and focuses on her breathing. Everything hurts. Her head. Her abdomen. Her heart. She aches and she knows that her complete overreaction has set their relationship so far back that it may well end before it truly recommences and it cuts her like a knife. She just can't stop getting in her own way. But she can't shake the vision of a bloodied Maura dying in her arms. It's too much. She needs sleep.

She uses the bed to help leverage herself back up and walks around the other side intending to take another half a pill to help with the pain. She stops in her tracks when she realises the bottle is gone. Her head snaps towards the doorway as she realises she scared Maura so much she didn't dare leave her in control of her own medication.

Gabby slowly sits on the edge of the bed as the heaviness of that realisation washes over her body. She climbs back into bed and pulls the covers up tightly and thinks about her new reality for a few minutes until she hears Maura approaching. She closes her eyes and pretends to be asleep. She's in no position to face her right now.

She hears Maura set the tea down on the bedside table. She feels her presence and perhaps more importantly her hesitance and she feels the end of the bed near her feet dip. She can only begin to imagine the things running through Maura's mind right now. They probably all start and end with regret. She should probably care about that. She should probably consider opening her eyes and try to prevent it from happening, but she doesn't. She is too mentally exhausted to care.

---

"Rizzoli, can we talk?" Alec asks as he nods in the direction of the break room.

Jane hasn't even had time to sit down yet, having just walked in. After the night she's had and what Jacob warned her about this morning, this is the last thing she wants to deal with. Though an opportunity to answer one way or another is taken from her when Commander Hillenbrandt walks in, eyeing the pair of them.

"Morris, Rizzoli, with me." His voice booms across the room.

Jane shares a shrug with Alec when he shoots her a confused look before joining her in following their superior officer. They follow Commander Hillenbrandt into Inspector Trent Freeman's office. Inspector Freeman is in charge of the Launceston CIB. As such they both acknowledge him with a polite nod and sit down at his behest.

Jane hasn't really had a chance to get to know Freeman, but she's been told he's a decent guy that lets the detectives do their jobs without too much oversight, so long as they continue to get stuff done. So far it seems to check out, although she does wonder if he is simply disinterested, because if this was Boston, her Lieutenant would have them standing in front of him for a serious debrief if a high profile case dragged on this long. Then she'd undoubtedly be chewed out and told to hurry the fuck up already. Freeman has done none of that.

Freeman doesn't say anything else, instead sits back in his chair with his arms folded across his chest. He doesn't look happy, but as her eyes pivot to Hillenbrandt she suspects the Commander doesn't particularly care.

"This Anderson investigation is taking too bloody long." Hillenbrandt says, his eyes twitching a little, the only real sign of his annoyance. "So I've enlisted help from elsewhere. I expect you both to play nice."

"What do you mean 'help from elsewhere', Sir?" Alec asks the question before Jane can and a part of her is grateful, because whether here in Launceston or back in Boston, no detective worth their salt wants a case taken over by the feds. Especially in a situation where it isn't actually done. It's infuriating. Not that she can say anything just yet.

"The AFP have agreed to let one of their detectives help us out."

Alec's lips draw tight and his jugular looks like it's ready to explode. Yep, he's about as mad as Jane is. "Since when do the Feds get involved in stuff like this?"

"Since now." Commander Hillenbrandt isn't interested in hearing a damn word either of them have to say. His tone makes it abundantly clear. He walks over to the door and opens it. He steps out briefly, waves at someone and then re enters the room. Moments later they are joined by said detective.

It is one of those moments where Jane chooses to imagine what this might look like to a fly on the wall. For one she feels her own brow furrow and her lips curl in a near snarl, while Alec looks almost aghast and appears to choke on his own spittle. Inspector Freeman doesn't bat an eyelash, just stares silently at the newcomer and Commander Hillenbrandt appears to be taking sick fucking pleasure in all of it. Then there's the all too innocent looking detective wearing a somewhat apprehensive look on her face. It would be downright comical to any outsider watching on.

As it stands though, this is far from fucking comical. Jane's entire head turns from the AFP detective, who's apprehension Jane isn't buying for a damn second, and plants firmly on her Commander. By some small miracle, perhaps in part due to the slither of her brain that wants to keep this job, she doesn't say a damn word, but boy oh boy does she glare. Hard.

Hillenbrandt carries on as if he hasn't just sucked all the oxygen out of the room. He ignores Alec's apparent panic and Jane's death glare. "This is Detective Natasha Holden. I expect you to treat her with the same respect you would any other colleague. Rizzoli I want you to bring her up to date on the case."

Jane's pretty sure her jaw is on the floor at this point. Like at what point did they all decide to just play make believe? She grits her teeth, because this has to be close to her absolute worst nightmare. She tries to bite her tongue, she really does, but she can't. This is absurd. "With all due respect sir, how about we address the damn elephant in the room?"

Alec shakes his head and places his hand on her arm. "Jane, don't." He warns quietly.

"I'd listen to Morris if I were you, Rizzoli." Freeman says, finally deciding to make an appearance at this absolutely fucking bizarre meeting taking place in his office.

Fuck that!

"That's Rachael fucking Taylor. You cannot seriously think people are not going to recognise her. Christ almighty. Even I know who the fuck this is… sir!" Jane declares as she stands and points fiercely at Detective Holden, who's apprehensive look has made way for a sickeningly smug smile. Oh how she'd like to wipe it off of her face. There's no way in Hell she's working with this woman.

Commander HIllenbrandt makes a show of looking at Detective Holden and nods slowly, "Why yes, I do see the resemblance. It's a real shame what happened to Constable Taylor. Very ugly business indeed."

He is literally toying with her at this point and if it isn't for Alec leaping from his seat and grabbing her by the arm and forcibly removing her from the room, Jane may well have found herself with a lot more free time on her hands. She whirls on him and pokes him in the chest when they are out of ear range of the office. "Did you know?"

"I swear to God Rizzoli, I didn't know." He looks so earnest, and quite frankly a little distraught.

She believes him, but it doesn't change the undeniable truth. "I won't work with her. I can't."

He nods. For once they appear to be in agreement. "I'll be the go between, alright? You can't exactly rock the boat anymore than you already have."

"Fuck." Jane huffs angrily. She turns on her heel and strides powerfully towards the hall, glaring at anybody who dares meet her eyes. Fuck this day.

---

Gabble startles awake from yet more troubled sleep. It's sleep that didn't provide much rest due to the nightmares that plagued her mind, but her body has at least been able to recuperate enough energy to get out of bed and use the bathroom. It takes more of her hard won energy to splash cold water on her face and yet even more of it to change into a t-shirt and pair of basketball shorts before heading down the hall towards the kitchen and sustenance.

"Good afternoon Gabby." She feels herself wince as Maura's gentle tone reaches her ears, however all she can think about is pouring herself a cold glass of milk and rustling up something to eat. The fact that it is the afternoon flies right over her head as she opens the fridge. A dark cloud follows her around, she is in no mood for conversation. At all.

"Jane called earlier. She's worried. Apparently she has patrol cars driving by multiple times a day."

Gabby pulls a glass from the cupboard above the bench and fills it with milk before putting the carton back in the fridge. She gulps down a mouthful and wonders why Maura feels the need to update her on all the things Jane is doing about the situation. She drinks some more milk, thinks about her food options and decides she really doesn't have the energy to care about Maura prattling on about Jane.

"She really doesn't want us going anywhere if we can avoid it. I figure we can placate her for a day or two given the school year is over and you're still on leave."

Toast feels like a good idea. Simple and sweet. Gabby side steps Maura and reaches for the bread, popping two slices into the toaster. She grabs a plate from the cupboard and returns to the fridge in the hopes she did see some organic strawberry jam in there when she was putting the milk away. Ah ha! She grabs the jam and plucks a butter knife from the cutlery draw. She waits for the toast to pop and when it does she puts it on the plate and spreads the jam. No butter, simply jam.

"Oh and do let me know if you need some of your pain medication."

Gabby bites into her toast and thinks back on how incredibly horrid she felt when she realised Maura silently whisked her medication away. How she is apparently now treating her like a child. She leans against the cupboard and washes down her most recent bite with some more milk. She looks at Maura, but she might as well be looking right through her, because not a single thing is registering, even as she continues to natter away.

"I was thinking we could spend the afternoon watching some documentaries, perhaps even a movie? Just let me know what you'd like to do, love."

Gabby hurries through the last of her toast, drains the last of the milk from the glass and rinses the plate and glass in the sink before taking the time to put them in the dishwasher ready to go.

She calmly walks out of the room and heads down the hall to the living room, where she sits down on one side of the couch and stares at the television. She knows her face is blank. She knows her body is rigid and she can feel her muscles tensing and releasing as if preparing for a fight, but for the life of her, Gabby has no idea why she suddenly couldn't care less about, well, anything. She knows that she should care, but there are no feelings to draw from. There is nothing but a cold detachment from everything.

She notices Maura out of the corner of her eye as she flutters into the room and turns the television on. The sound of David Attenborough filters through her ears and she knows, without even focusing on the television, that a documentary has been chosen. Vague images of a desertscape enter her mind, but she simply zones out. She barely notices when Maura leaves and a little while later her nostrils fill with delectable smells from the kitchen. It does absolutely nothing for her.

Before long Maura returns with a plate which she sets down on the coffee table in front of her. It's an omelette with a side of crispy bacon. A lot of crispy bacon. Maura disappears and reappears again, this time with a glass of presumably non alcoholic apple cider which she sets down next to the plate with the omelette. Maura hands her some cutlery, which Gabby accepts, while wondering why on earth she's allowed this much bacon on the plate in the first place. Though her subsequent thought is she really doesn't care.

She picks up her food and begins to eat. It tastes bland, but at this point her care factor is zero. She could be at the Taste of Tasmania trying all sorts of delectable dishes and they'd undoubtedly taste bland too. She simply takes her time chewing and half listens as Maura comments on various parts of the documentary. She keeps posing questions to her as if she has the energy to think, let alone actually answer. She puts her empty plate down and leans back fully, watching in complete disinterest as Attenborough drones on about the wildlife of the Kalahari Desert in Africa. It's stupid. All of it. Everything. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What is she going to make her watch next?

"Can I get you anything else? Water?"

Gabby huffs out a breath. She doesn't understand why Maura keeps doting on her. She can barely taste the food. The documentary sucks and she really, really, doesn't care about any of it.

"Did you want to pick a movie?"

Gabby shifts uncomfortably and tries not to send a side eyed glare at the woman she loves. She knows she's failed miserably, but she has zero energy assigned to giving a damn right now. She hears a sigh and before she knows it David Attenborough is blaring through the living room and the next episode in what is apparently a docuseries is assaulting her eyes. Gabby shifts again and crosses her arms over her chest. She tries to stop her teeth from grinding, but it is nearly impossible.

For a solid two and a half hours Gabby sits there in the same spot, watching another two and a half episodes of the series, listening as Maura makes comment after comment about the most inane and random things she has ever heard. She listens without ever uttering a single syllable in response and when the fourth episode is cued up on the screen she feels an overwhelming need to hit the bathroom.

She lurches up onto her feet and staggers her way down the hall. After she's done and cleaned up she sits on the edge of the bathtub to take a moment to breathe and enjoy some solitude. She feels an overwhelming pressure on her chest and shoulders, as if she's in the gym lifting way more than she should. She feels her eyes close and her head droops forward in pure exhaustion.

Rapid knocks jerk her out of her zen like state, causing her heart rate to skyrocket. She jumps up, startled and lurches forward out of control. She hears Maura call out with worry at the noise she makes as she slams into the sink cabinet. She somehow managed to slam her shoulder and it aches exponentially, but her eyes are planted firmly on the door handle as it rattles.

"Gabby, love, are you alright?"

Maura's worried words filter through the wood and still Gabby says nothing. She makes a point of running water in the sink again before moving over to the door and yanking it open. Maura's eyes hone in on her like only hers can, searching and assessing to make sure that she is in fact in one piece. Gabby rolls her head to the side and feels a crack in her neck, which while briefly painful releases a lot of tension she wasn't even aware had been building.

Maura's staring at her with worried eyes and her words echo in her ears long after she watches her walk away. She feels hot and numb, but it's not familiar. This is a tingling numbness that feels like it is enveloping her entire body. It is slowly building like a low river suddenly overflowing with melted snow from the mountains. It is churning in her gut and picking up speed as she stands there looking at an empty hall. Her nerves feel like they are misfiring all over the place with little spikes of pain striking randomly all over her body. She finally puts one foot after the other and makes the short walk back to the living room.

Upon entering her eyes land on Maura who is sitting where she was the entire time during the documentary viewing. They lock eyes and Maura's face is completely impassive. There's not a single emotion on display and absolutely zero chance of figuring out a darn thing she's thinking or feeling. Gabby feels a white-hot rage towards the psychopathic bastard who would have taken her away less than a day ago. This piece of crap is out there actively hunting her girlfriend; the one who is still alive at least. He has already gotten to her last one. Gabby feels her mind match her body with an overwhelming feeling of pure rage.

"I'm not a child. I don't need you minding my medication." Gabby declares firmly as thoughts inundate her brain, which finds itself fueled by this raging inferno building within. She begins to pace around the living room. She feels her anger building and she knows it is close to exploding, but stopping it is akin to bringing a speeding train to an immediate halt. It is impossible.

"I'm not Jane, you know. I don't need a mother hen up my arse making sure I don't overdose on my pain meds or doting on me hand and foot. I can make my own damn food." Maura doesn't even flinch as uncontrollable words fly out of Gabby's mouth.

Maybe it is for the best that she let it out. Maybe it is better if Maura realises, truly realises now that she is not someone she needs to be with. It is never going to work and worse yet it may even get her killed. "Yeah sit there while I talk shit about the love of your life. Maybe if I made a documentary about it you'd have a comment or two to share." Gabby knows that Maura needs to be far away from her if she wants to live, but she cannot believe the vitriol that is coming out of her own mouth. This is Maura. This is the woman she loves enough to let go. She paces right out of the room.

"You know all this crap is happening because of me, right Maura? All of it." Gabby kicks a pair of shoes out of her way near the front door. Her body feels so tense as her mind starts spiralling into the depths of her dark, tumultuous past. "You think I'm some white knight in shining armour, but I'm not. I couldn't even love her right when we were young. My jealousy poisoned us long before Rachael reared her ugly head."

Gabby paces back into the living room and bemoans, "I let you get hurt by Jane because I didn't fight hard enough for you. I never should have let you go back then. Maybe if I hadn't you wouldn't have to leave now." That thought… that thought of Maura leaving, causes her breath to catch as her chest begins to cave in on itself. The fiery ball of rage that was building in her gut suddenly turns into a molten ball of lead and drops heavily towards the bottom of her stomach. It takes a moment for Gabby to regroup, but all she can think about is the nightmare from this morning. Flashes of Alexis laying there stabbed and bloody keep flickering in and out with the image of Maura taking her place. The thought of what could happen to her reignites that heavy, guilt laden ball of lead into a supernova of rip shit pissed off. It reignites an almost primal need to fight within her.

"I let Missy leave and look what happened to her. She decided fucking a whole bunch of randoms was the only way to feel better." White hot rage courses through her veins just thinking about the long months she stood aside while Melissa raked her heart and soul over hot coals. Her fingers flex. She aches to rip something apart. She kicks the recliner and continues pacing.

"Alex is fucking dead. She's dead because I didn't answer a damn phone call. She was tortured and murdered because everything that I touch in this life turns to shit!" Gabby picks up Maura's empty glass from the coffee table and turns to throw it at the wall, barely catching herself as her arm flings backwards in a wind up for the throw.

She whirls around and glares into Maura's impassive eyes. Her breath literally snorts from her nose as her body trembles in agonising fury. Her girlfriend hasn't moved an inch and doesn't seem to be bothered one bit by her anger. It causes her vision to go nearly full red.

"And let's not forget how you are being actively hunted now. There's a neon fuckin red target painted on your forehead and why? Because I can't find the guy doing this. He stalked and attacked my ex-girlfriend, killing her then lover in another freakin' country. He's already murdered my last girlfriend and now he's actively hunting my new one. That's you by the way. Because you are with me. And I can't even throw this glass like I want because I talked to that stupid doctor about my stupid feelings when I should be spending my time trying to catch the serial killer trying to unalive you and nearly everyone I know!"

Gabby slams the glass down on the table, cracking it a bit. She snatches a cushion from the couch and holds it up like some sort of pathetic trophy. Sarcasm drips from her voice as she speaks and begins to beat the cushion against the wall furiously. "Doctor anger management will be so proud of me Maura! Look at this shit! I'm not throwing breakables anymore. Guess all the time devoted to my anger issues are worth it!" She hurls the cushion across the room and whirls back around to stare into Maura's eyes.

She is breathing heavily and sweat beads across her forehead. "I'm leaving. I'm going home and figuring this shit out. Oh and we're done. You hear me, Isles? You stay away from me and Jane and everyone else until I kill this fucking animal!"

Gabby strides purposefully towards the living room door. Her body trembles with an uncontrollable rage as Maura's voice rings out loud and clear across the room. "Yes, I think those are fantastic ideas, Gabrielle."

Gabby feels her body lurch to a halt. Maura doesn't do sarcasm. At least she never really has before, not in a serious situation like this. She slowly turns and stares incredulously at her girlfriend. It doesn't matter that she said it first. Maura saying they are done causes her throat to close up and her spine to feel like it is attached to an electrical wire. She feels her eyes start to burn and her stomach is cramping so tightly it might just fold in on itself.

"I agree, that you, a trained police officer, should leave me, a person who can barely wield a kitchen knife in self defence, here alone while a serial killer is actively pursuing me. I also think breaking up is a fantastic idea. I firmly believe that the moment you leave my home, this address will be magically erased from this psychotic individual's mind and I will be perfectly safe within these fireproof walls."

Gabby stares at Maura's face as blackness slowly creeps around her peripheral vision. She has to be being sarcastic, surely, but Maura's face is eerily blank. Her voice was nearly monotone with little inflection. Gabby doesn't know what is happening, but Maura didn't react at all during her emotional rage-filled tirade and she doesn't know how to deal with that. Everyone reacts negatively to her during her meltdowns. Everyone.

"Yes, I believe you are onto some great ideas here Gabrielle. Perhaps I should tell Jane not to worry about this one. You've got it covered, because you are so clearly inspirational. Able to come up with foolproof plans while operating under an enormous amount of stress. You'll have him locked up by dinner time."

Gabby feels the air whoosh from her lungs as her knees start to buckle. Maura has never spoken to her like this before. There is bluntness. There is Maura Isles level of bluntness and then, there's this. Holy shitballs.

"I do hope whatever scheme you come up with to personally catch this international predator comes to fruition sooner rather than later. Because Jane has instructed me not to leave the house, now you have instructed me not to leave the house, and I have a facial booked for Wednesday. I would really hate to disappoint my aesthetician."

Gabby tries to swallow the excess spit in her mouth as she keeps her watering eyes locked on to Maura's intense ones. She feels like she's on the precipice of something, but she has no idea what that something is. She has never been here before. She has never felt like this before. Gabby is standing on the blade of a knife and she has no idea what will happen when she falls off to whatever side she is headed towards.

"Be that as it may, I do hope, Gabrielle, that if you receive a phone call while out on your jaunts around Launceston tracking this unknown assailant that the entire police service has been unable to apprehend, that you please do me the great favour of answering this one."

At this point she recognises it is absolute masterful sarcasm that even Jane would be proud of, but it slams into her like a truck because it is too close to home. Gabby feels her knees hit the floor as her breath leaves her body. She is breathing too fast, weird sounds are leaving her mouth on exhale and she cannot get enough air on inhale. She watches as Maura rises from the couch like a queen from her throne and stands in front of her. She feels hands cup her cheeks and thumbs brush away the tears pouring from her eyes. She is silent except for the sounds her throat and chest are unintentionally making. This is all too real now. It hurts too much.

She stands when Maura's hands guide her upwards and leans forward when they fall away. She follows quickly when they tug at her and she sits on the couch when pushed that way. She lays down as guided and her eyes never leave Maura's until her head is pulled under her chin. Maura's hands move up and down her back as the melodious voice of her personal angel speaks with calm assuredness into her ear. "There is nothing wrong with you, my love."

She pulls away instinctively, as if it is a habit. Maura holds on firmly and for the first time, Gabby truly allows it.

"What's happening right now is not your fault. You are not responsible for Melissa's actions. You are not responsible for Rachael's actions. You are not responsible for mine and you most certainly are not responsible for his. The only actions you are responsible for are your own."

Strong arms encircle Gabby and she allows herself to melt into them. Fresh tears trickle down her face as she tries to find words, because right now she is haunted by her own actions. All of them. From the moment she chose jealousy instead of understanding when it came to Melissa's confused feelings for Rachael. To the way she acted after Rachael's so-called death. The way she let Melissa get in her head when she and Maura were genuinely happy in the first place and everything that's happened since, including not answering the call from Alexis. Maura is trying to calm her down and undoubtedly share some kind of wisdom, but it is really hard to hear the message when she's confronted with the reality of her own actions.

"You're not an angry person, love. You're passionate. You have no idea how proud I am of you for not only recognising that you need help learning to regulate your emotions, but for also choosing to do something about it too. I promise you that there is nothing wrong with you. You're human and you're growing."

Gabby feels kisses along her hair line and warm hands hold her safely in a cocoon of warmth and love and finally, finally, a sorrow filled, anguished scream rips from her very consciousness and reverberates around the room. The room falls silent, but only because she can't breathe in to make any noise. A hand taps her back and she inhales quickly, only for a howl of absolute desolation and sorrow to emerge like a great, rampaging beast from her throat.

When she calms down to the point that it is merely soulful sobs hiccuping from her mouth, she clutches desperately to Maura and whispers a multitude of apologies. She apologises for everything from walking away the first time, to losing her shit on Jane, to this very afternoon. She stumbles over her apology for thinking that she can change things by leaving and she begs Maura to forgive her.

Maura's lips linger against her hairline as she quietly states, "I don't need your apologies, my love. I know who you are. I've always known who you are. I love who you are. All I ask is that you be mindful of the power of your words and that you trust me enough to stay."

Gabby nods vigorously against Maura's chest, because if this day has taught her anything, it's that Maura Isles is a force to be reckoned with; a force that she doesn't really know how to live without. That she doesn't want to live without. More than that, it has taught her that she is seen. That this woman knows exactly who she is and she accepts her for it, but she sure as Hell won't simply take her crap and not give it right back. Her heart still stings from Maura's very last barb before she took her into her arms and she suspects it will for a while, but she holds no ill thought towards Maura for delivering that verbal punch. She deserved it.

She doesn't know how long she lays there as her thoughts subside and her tears continue to fall. She doesn't even know the words that are quietly and lovingly spoken into her ear during all of it. She isn't really aware when her weeping finally stops or when Maura draws a blanket onto them from the back of the couch. The only thing Gabby knows as she lays there with her head under Maura's chin and her cheek on a damp shirt, is that for the first time since she was a little kid, she feels truly calm and at peace.

Gabby's eyes close as she focuses on the sound of Maura's heartbeat.

She falls asleep.

---

A/N: Okay so firstly, take a breath. This chapter is going to leave some of you pulling your hair out, but this isn't some short and sweet jaunt towards Rizzles, it's a long windy, soapy road.

Secondly the final scene of this chapter had a lot of help from my partner. Without whom this story wouldn't be as far progressed simply because of the support she provides me every day that helps encourage me to keep telling my story, but also to try and remain true to the characters as I have written them. That's why parts of this chapter are going to be tough. I had to throw away what I had done a few times in parts of this, to really get down to the nitty gritty of one of my own characters.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, even if they're mostly frustrated ones ha ha.

This is a safe space. Just like Maura is providing for Gabby. (But, at what cost, what say you?)

Let it all out.