Chapter Forty Four

"Hello Angela," Maura greets while looking at her watch to do a quick mental calculation on the time. It's five thirty in the morning in Boston. "You're up early."

"Well yah, Maura. I had to try something, Janie keeps sending my calls to voicemail and I need to double check all the details for Christmas."

Maura immediately starts rubbing her temple with her free hand as she turns away from where Kelly is sitting and walks into the foyer. Jane still hasn't spoken to her mother and at this point it is getting ridiculous. While she doesn't want to be the one to deliver the news of their broken relationship, she feels compelled to do so. Christmas is just around the corner. "That's because she is busy with an important case and her new girlfriend."

Maura can practically see the look of scandalous shock on Angela's face in her mind and she can't help but smirk a little as Angela stammers, "Wh-wha-what?"

She has to take amusement from the shock of it all, because otherwise this is just a very painful reminder of an entire future that has changed. She is fortunate to have found love elsewhere, but it is still quite jarring. They were meant to be hopping on a plane to head to Boston in a few days.

"I'm fine, Angela." Maura says in an effort to cut Angela off before she starts hammering her with questions. "I called off the engagement."

"Wh-why?" Angela continues to sound completely flabbergasted. "You two are wonderful together."

Maura sighs and walks back to the living room, parking herself in the doorway she looks across the room at Kelly, who offers a sheepish looking shrug. No doubt recognising how awkward this conversation is. "It was never going to work out."

"Why not?" Angela asks, sounding like she is finally on solid footing ready to launch an inquisition.

Not in the mood for any of this Maura answers rather bluntly, "Because Jane was and is in love with another woman. It became apparent to me and so I made the only decision I could. I let her go so that she could be happy, Angela. Suffice to say, we won't be making it back home for Christmas."

There's silence on the line for what feels like a record amount of time given Angela is part of the conversation. Maura offers Kelly an apologetic smile and looks up at the ceiling, hoping for a swift end to the dialogue.

"It's that Melissa girl, isn't it?" Angela asks, sounding a perfect mix between judgmental and all knowing.

The fact that even Jane's own mother could tell there was something more between those two is all the evidence Maura needs to know she made the right decision. "Yes." She admits, "However I have a guest over and I honestly think this would be a conversation best had with Jane."

"Oh, right, yes. I'm really sorry Maura, my daughter can be such an ass at times."

Maura covers her mouth to smother her chuckle, as no truer words have been spoken, but she's not about to stand here and let Angela judge Jane for something out of her control. "She didn't stray. She was committed to me, Angela. So please don't judge her harshly. It was my decision and I think it was the best decision for everyone involved."

"Maura…"

"She's happy." Maura interjects, refusing to think about this any further. "I really need to go. Have a wonderful day, Angela."

"Goodnight Maura."

Maura ends the call, pockets her phone and shakes her head in disbelief at the state of her life. "I apologise for the interruption."

Kelly waves her off, "Don't worry about it. I can't believe Jane has put off telling her mother." Maura shoots her a look and Kelly chuckles a little as she's clearly interpreted the intended incredulity. "Actually, I can believe it."

"She's had a lot going on." Maura defends half heartedly, knowing that as much as Jane has been stressed, she's absolutely been deliberately ducking her mother's calls. "Angela can be quite a handful."

"Pfft. I think given everything she's put you through that Jane could have at least had the decency to handle that conversation."

"Oh don't worry," Maura says with a smirk, "I can promise you with absolute certainty that Jane is going to be having that conversation very soon. Angela won't be letting this go."

Kelly looks absolutely pleased at the thought. "She's a big girl, I'm sure she can handle it."

Maura chuckles and motions over her shoulder. "Did you want anything to drink?"

"No thanks, Maura. It's been a big couple of days. I think I'll head to bed."

In the absence of laughter at Jane's fear of her mother, Maura is able to get a better look at Kelly's disposition. She looks exhausted, a feeling Maura knows all too well, but unlike Kelly she won't be able to sleep just yet. She offers a polite smile and nods her understanding. "I'll be up for a while yet. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask."

Kelly's smile is soft and genuine as she drags herself off of the couch. She gently pats Maura on the shoulder as she steps past her and Maura watches as she disappears into the guest room which she prepared earlier by moving Gabby's stuff upstairs.

She shifts from looking at the empty spot in the hall towards the alarm system by the front door. It's a small comfort knowing she remembered to reset the alarm after bringing Kelly home. While she doesn't intend to give into fear, there's a certain level of common sense that she knows is necessary.

She continues standing on the spot inside the foyer between the front and living room doors and takes a few moments to take stock. Her eyes drift to the wall where Jane's fist of frustration had caused damage. It's been repaired, but the fresh plaster stands out. It isn't the time for a full repaint right now, not with an unidentified lunatic running around. She does however like the idea of figuring out which colour would best bring fresh life to the interior of her home. She likes the idea of the distraction.

Maura spends a couple of minutes just thinking about colours and then Gabby's possible reactions to her colour choices. Jane wouldn't care. She'd simply tell Maura to pick a colour and have someone do it. Gabby won't really care either, but she'll likely entertain the conversation and only strike down any colour that feels completely abhorrent to her eyes. She imagines Jane might violently object to something garish like French Fuchsia, but Antique Fuchsia on the other hand, might just be perfect.

Maura sighs, contemplating the differences between a vivid pinkish purple and a moderate reddish purple. She quickly dismisses both ideas as absurd, thinking she'll keep it simple with a Snowy Mountains White, or perhaps a Timeless Grey with Natural White ceilings and mouldings.

"Are you alright?"

Kelly's voice startles Maura out of her thoughts, her body flinches, a clear indicator of the level of anxiety the current circumstances are having on her nervous system. She runs her hand down her legs, as if she's smoothing the wrinkles out of a skirt or dress, in an attempt to re-centre her mind. She fixes a warm smile on her face and she observes that Kelly has a toothbrush and tube of toothpaste in hand.

Maura motions towards the wall and explains, "I was simply thinking about redecorating. Debating the merits of fuchsia versus white colour palettes."

Kelly glances around them before her eyes meet Maura's once again. "Well, I guess that depends on whether you want to embrace something old and comfortable or branch out into something bold, fresh and new."

"Indeed. Definite food for thought."

Kelly's smile is soft, perhaps even a little coy, which piques Maura's interest slightly, however before she can follow up with subsequent thought or comment she hears the sounds of an excited dog and a key sliding into the lock. Kelly ducks her head and offers a quick wave before turning and disappearing into the bathroom.

Maura moves toward the front door and assists Gabby by taking the box she is holding underneath her arm. She sets it down and turns back to her girlfriend, who no longer encumbered, is wearing an almost smug ear to ear grin. Maura lifts her eyebrows in silent question.

Gabby chuckles and says, "Angela called. Repeatedly. Jane answered and her face, oh my God Maura, it was priceless."

Maura smiles, satisfied that her assurance to Kelly that Jane would have to deal with her mother proved correct. She kneels down and holds her hand out for Charlie to refamiliarise himself and pets him gently once he happily sniffs her hand and starts licking it. While doing this she casually says, "She'll undoubtedly have to answer a litany of questions about the reason I gave for us not going home for Christmas."

Gabby unclips the leash and bundles it up in her hand. Standing up straight she looks at Maura, grips her by both shoulders and says, "Thank you. I haven't laughed so hard in Heaven knows how long. The look on her face as I waved goodbye and made my retreat… I couldn't tell if it was her pleading for help or encouraging me to save myself."

"Probably an equal dose of both." Maura smiles as she leans forward and briefly presses her lips against Gabby's. She is more than delighted by the fact her girlfriend is finding a level of joy in a part of her life, even if it is at Jane's expense. Not that she can be mad about it at all, given she has also found a smidgeon of joy from the situation. Besides, Angela is harmless really, just a little loud and overbearing, nothing Jane can't handle.

Maura motions down the hall, "I've settled Kelly into the downstairs guest room and moved your belongings upstairs. I've placed them in the guestroom for now. Though I'll happily empty a drawer if you want to put them in the master bedroom."

Gabby's face melts with unexpected softness, before she lifts an eyebrow and smirks a little. "Are you sure you want to give up a drawer? That's a big step."

Gabby's delivery is pure sass and Maura shakes her head in lieu of an eye roll. "It isn't as if we've only known each other a week, love. I would dare suggest you are long overdue for having a drawer in the master bedroom."

"A drawer and a key to your home? Starting to feel a lot like I'm halfway to moving in permanently." Gabby teases playfully.

Gabby's eyes sparkle with obvious mirth and it would be quite easy to laugh it off alongside her girlfriend, but Maura doesn't do that. Instead she takes a moment to think about it, already knowing that her mother and Jane would both probably caution her against rushing into something so soon, but one of them lives with an artist's whimsy and the other took even less time to move in with her new girlfriend. It's quite refreshing to realise that life's recent challenges have her breaking free of the shackles of expectation. The only opinions that truly matter on this topic are hers and Gabby's. "Would it be a bad thing if you did?"

Gabby's eyes grow wide and she pulls her head back, Maura presumes in disbelief. "Are you asking me to move in with you, Isles?"

"If you're comfortable with the idea. I would understand if that's not something you're ready for yet."

Maura watches Gabby in anticipation of an answer, feeling surprisingly anxious as silence springs up between them. Emerald eyes burn with intensity. Just as Maura is putting serious consideration into walking back the offer, Gabby speaks. "Damn, Maura. That's… that's just the start of everything I want with you and I know there's a temptation to make up for lost time, but I want this to last. I want us to last."

Gabby turns her head and blinks rapidly and Maura takes a small step forward, immediately wanting to wrap her girlfriend up in her arms. She's genuinely touched by the sentiment, even though Gabby sounds and looks like she's about to decline. She holds her arms open and wraps herself tightly around her girlfriend when she looks back and walks right into them. Maura presses her lips against Gabby's jaw and says, "I want that too, love."

"It's a lot," Gabby says quietly into her ear, before taking in a deep breath. Maura can't tell if she's nervous or hesitating, but she keeps pressing her lips reassuringly against warm skin.

"I'm a lot right now."

Maura sighs quietly, of course this makes sense. Gabby's hesitant out of fear. "Love," she says softly, "I know that one conversation this afternoon doesn't just fix your mental health struggles. I also know that the one thing you need at the core of your being is stability. Let me give that to you."

"Maura." She hears all of Gabby's feelings in the simple utterance of her name. Relief. Appreciation. Love. Desire. Joy. It's a confluence of emotion, but it's all there in a single word and then it's there as their heads turn and their lips meet briefly.

Maura kisses Gabby with tenderness and reverence, while rubbing a hand soothingly along her back. She breaks away from eager lips and presses her own lips against a tear stained cheek and firmly repeats her intentions. "Move in with me, Gabby."

Gabby pulls back just far enough to make eye contact, and while one hand still holding the leash rests against Maura's hip, the other brushes lovingly through her hair. Maura feels an overwhelming rush of warmth blooming in her chest as she stares into intense eyes. Gabby's answer is a simple, "Yes."

Maura's smile is wide and her heart thrums excitedly as the two come together again for a celebratory kiss. It's a little heated, driven by the emotion behind the enormity of the moment.

"Ugh, get a room." Kelly's voice rings out playfully.

Maura turns just in time to see Kelly make an exaggerated gagging motion before grinning and saying, "On second thoughts, I'll be in mine. Have at it you crazy lovebirds."

Maura feels a hand rest on her shoulder as she hears Gabby's firm, but slightly mirthful, "Goodnight Kelly."

Maura shakes her head in amusement and echoes the sentiment, as she has every intention of finding where on earth Charlie wandered off to, getting him squared away, cleaning up and retiring to the master bedroom.

"Goodnight, but do me a favour, keep it down would ya?"

Maura smacks Gabby's shoulder in amusement at her false glare and whispers, "Behave."

Gabby's glare melts into another one of those outlandishly smug ear to ear grins. Maura watches as she waggles her eyebrows at Kelly and says, "I suggest you invest in some noise cancelling headphones."

Maura shakes her head and rolls her eyes. She gently nudges Gabby towards the stairs, "On that note, goodnight!"

"I know. I know. Alright? I should have said something sooner." Jane tries to keep the exasperation from her voice as this conversation is the last one she's in the mood for, but she knows if she doesn't let Angela get her say now it'll only be worse down the track.

"Not just to me, Janie. You broke poor Maura's heart, you know that?"

Jane looks up at the ceiling and sends a silent prayer to a God she doesn't think gives a hoot, asking for patience. She doesn't need a blow by blow of her missteps. She leans back into the couch, sets her phone on speaker and sets it down beside her. She stretches her arms out above her head and tries to work the kinks out. "And I'm really sorry about that, but Ma, I didn't set out to make this happen. This is the last thing I expected."

"Ya shoulda ignored it. Do ya really think I wanted to stay with your father all those years? I did it for you kids."

Jane brings her arms back down as her head snaps sideways at the phone and she glares at it with such incredulity she suspects her mother can feel it through the phone. "That's different. Maura and I don't have kids, Ma. Besides, it was her decision to leave. Not mine!"

"Well you could have had babies Jane. You two would have made such beautiful babies." Angela bemoans, fixating on what Jane suspects is really at play here. Her mother wants grandbabies and she isn't getting any younger.

"Firstly, that's not how biology works and secondly, Maura doesn't want kids, Ma. So you wouldn't have gotten grandbabies out of us."

There's silence on the line and Jane takes a deep breath expecting her mother to switch tactics in record time. Only the silence draws on and Jane starts to worry, "Ma, what's wrong?"

"You've always wanted kids for as long as I can remember, Jane. Why did you stay so long if that wasn't on the table?" Angela's voice has dropped to an almost hushed tone and it's apparent that her righteous indignation on Maura's behalf has shifted to protective mama mode instead.

Jane sighs heavily. It's a good question. Somewhere along the way she just sort of gave up on it. "Because I loved her, Ma. Being with her was enough."

It's a lie she told herself for years. It's a lie she kept telling herself until she believed it. It is, she realises just another thing in the apparently ever growing list of crap between her and Maura that was slowly building resentment.

Angela sees right through the lie. "Janie, you know I am a devout Catholic as much as I can be, but bullshit! That's absolute bullshit." There's a brief pause before Angela follows with a quick, "Forgive me Father."

Jane can practically picture her mother making a cross honouring the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. "Ma, come on!"

"A marriage without the possibility of kids would leave you miserable and you know it!"

Jane doesn't say anything because there's nothing to say.

"Does Melissa want kids?"

Jane isn't completely sure but she's seen the way Melissa is when around children and knows the work she has done with underprivileged kids in her volunteer role. It's definitely much more likely to be on the table. "We haven't talked about it yet, but yeah Ma, I think she does."

"And you really love her?"

Jane nods even though her mother can't see her. "Yeah, I do."

"She makes you happy?"

Jane smile's a little bit because just thinking about Melissa does that. "Yeah, Ma, she does."

"Then talk to her about this. Make sure she wants kids too."

For once Jane agrees with her mother's advice. It is most definitely a conversation that needs to be had. There are so many of them piling up. They need to talk about living arrangements and kids and Melissa isn't even divorced yet. It's a lot already, before she even adds in the threat to their lives. "I will."

"And don't forget to take care of Maura when she needs it."

Jane chuckles at the devious idea popping into her mind. She owes Maura for this ambush and while she deserved it she's still keen to get a little payback. "That's a job for Maura's new girlfriend."

"Wait what?" Angela sounds surprised.

Jane laughs louder and says, "Okay I love you, bye!"

Jane hangs up without waiting to hear her mother's protestations. Maura can deal with her from here on out as far as dissecting their broken relationship goes. What's done is done and all she wants to look forward to is the future.

She reaches out and grabs her bottle of non alcoholic beer from the coffee table, smirking as her phone immediately starts ringing again before cutting off almost as quickly. She brings the bottle to her lips and can't bring herself to drink as yet again her phone starts ringing before cutting off again. She glances over at the screen, two missed calls from her mother. She must have really rattled her. She'd feel bad for Maura, but this moment is too damn funny. She drains the last of the dredges of her drink. She's too happy to care that Gabby is right about non alcoholic beer. Beer in and of itself doesn't taste that great and the only reason to drink it is for alcohol content. It's terrible, but helps with the cravings. Though in all honesty the thought of Maura trying to fend off her mother right now is the most satisfying sensation she's had all damn day.

Jane calms down from her amusement and climbs to her feet, grabs up the empties and carries them into the kitchen where she leaves them on the counter. She'll worry about rinsing them out for recycling tomorrow because exhaustion is setting in. She heads into the spare room and changes for bed, more than ready to sleep. She sets her phone down on the bedside table and slips under the covers. She wraps herself around a body pillow and closes her eyes.

After ten minutes of her mind operating in overdrive ignoring her body's intent to rest, she lets out an exaggerated sigh for her non-existent audience and reaches over to the table for her phone. After picking it up she rolls onto her back and sends Melissa a message asking if she's still awake.

It doesn't take long for a reply in the affirmative to return. Followed soon after by another text.

Are you okay?

Jane sighs and muddles her way through a response.

Maura told Ma we wouldn't be going to Boston for Christmas.

Oof. I bet that went down like a lead balloon.

Jane smiles.

Straight to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Give her time. She'll come around soon enough. She just wants you to be happy.

Jane marvels at how quickly Melissa can rattle off a response while writing her own.

She just got me thinking about some things.

What things?

Jane sighs and stares up at the ceiling. She hears a particularly loud motorcycle as it drives by and longs for a quieter neighbourhood and a house not on a main road.

Future things.

Such as?

Jane starts and deletes her message multiple times. Finally she just settles for Maura-like bluntness.

Do you want kids?

Jane watches and waits, getting nervous the longer that goes by without a response. Melissa is too adept at messaging to be taking this long. It's a simple question.

Did you fall asleep?

No. I was just thinking about your question, kind of wishing that reality didn't have to come crashing into our bubble of happiness.

So you don't want kids?

Jane's phone starts ringing and even though she's staring at it and can read the incoming caller is Melissa she is still startled by it. After taking a breath to calm her anxiety she answers, "Hey."

"It's not a simple yes or no question, Jane." Melissa leads off straight away, skipping pleasantries. "Do I want kids? Yes. Should I have them though? That's the real question."

Jane lets go of a breath she didn't realise she started holding when she heard Melissa's opening statement. She feels a wave of relief wash over her because she knows her mother isn't wrong; a marriage without the possibility of kids would slowly eat away at her soul. So it is nice to know that one day down the track when all of this craziness is behind them there's a chance at what she most desires in life.

"You're forgetting the key word in this hypothetical future we're exploring. We. Should we have them?"

"In a perfect world I honestly can't think of anything I'd want more, Jane. However, this isn't a perfect world and with my mental health being as it is, I just, I don't know."

Melissa sounds so incredibly sad and Jane could almost kick herself. There's little chance Melissa can think her way through to a normal, less messed up future right now. Not with everything she's dealing with.

"I just needed to know if under the right circumstance it could be an option, that's all."

"Well yeah, Jane. Absolutely."

Jane's smile grows wide and she places her phone on speaker and sets it down beside her head. She readjusts onto her side, clutching the body pillow once more for comfort. "There, was that so bad?"

Jane can hear the smile in Melissa's voice as she answers, "Nah, not really."

Jane lays there in silence for a while, content just listening to Melissa breathing. Her girlfriend clearly doesn't mind, because she doesn't say anything, nor does she hang up.

There's comfort to be found in the silence and Jane's thoughts finally start to slow to a trickle. When she's on the edge of sleep she yawns and quietly says, "Thanks for sending in the cavalry."

"Any time."

He huffs on his cigarette and exhales slowly. His nerves are a little shot at the moment and he needs to calm down. This whole situation is hurtling out of control and he's in so deep. He knows he isn't coming out of this scott free. He's done disgustingly vile things all in the name of getting answers. He's played this game for so long now and he's growing tired of it.

He watches as Gabby comes home with the dog. For all he knows, she's the one responsible for what happened, but he's been told not to touch a damn hair on her head. He listens, but he is questioning why he does. The answers haven't been forthcoming.

He's done waiting. He shoots off a quick text message.

You promised me answers.

His eyes naturally keep shifting between the phone and the house down the street. He might not get an answer for hours.

He's surprised when the response is swift.

You'll have your answers in good time. What happened to the message I asked you to send?

Fucking lesbians. That's what. He tries to maintain a sense of calm when he responds.

There's three of them in that house now. It would be suicide.

He doesn't imagine it will go down well. He's not wrong.

They can't stay inside forever. Get creative.

Fuck.

He flings his phone at the passenger door. He's so fucking tired of this shit. It might just be time to get himself out of this mess. He digs into his pocket and stares at the piece of paper with a phone number and a name scrawled on it. He remembers the dark look on her face as he drove past the house last night. He can't really believe it has come to this. That he is actually thinking about calling Jane fuckin' Rizzoli.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. He reminds himself of this as he lives in fucking squalor hiding out from the pigs. He pulls a milk carton from the fridge and sniffs, his face screws up in disgust. The milk is definitely rancid. This is some serious bullshit. He shouldn't be living like this, not without answers. So many answers he acted like he had when that stupid girlie came asking questions she shouldn't have.

He snatches up his disposable phone and calls the one number programmed inside it.

"I thought I told you never to call me again."

He makes a fist with his free hand. "Nah girlie, you look here. We had a deal. You owe me the truth about what happened to my wife. I fuckin' did what you asked and made sure the girlie cop got hurt real bad."

"She almost died."

He feels the venom in the statement and he knows, he fucking knows that Bruiser took it too far. He knew that night. That's why he handled it. "And the price was paid for that fuck up. I'm done waiting. I want the fuckin' truth."

"Bertie, Bertie, Bertie." Immediately he knows that they're fuckin' done. His eyes close as he listens. "The truth is your wife was too stupid to see me coming when I showed her precisely how a hit and run should be carried out."

A guttural roar of grief flies up out of his throat as his grip on the phone tightens until his knuckles are white. "You're fuckin' dead!"

The call drops.

He throws the phone across the room where it bounces off the wall down onto the bed. Fuck this shitty self contained one room dump. Fuck this shitty fucking deal. Fuck that fucking piece of murderous fucking scum. He knows precisely what he needs to do. He's going to call that American cop. The one that's been all over the news. The one that he knows works with the girlie Bruiser almost killed. Revenge is a dish best served right the fuck now.

Right as he's about to make the call, the phone rings. He swallows down his nervousness looking at the number. The same number he's been texting. He sighs, resigning himself to the fact that he's still under the thumb. He answers. "Yeah?"

"I need you to find someone and I need you to put him down. You do this and I will give you the answers you're looking for."

"Alright." He agrees. "Send me the details. Do you want it clean, or like the others?"

"Keep it clean."

"Alright."

He ends the call. A text comes through and he looks at the image and the details that accompany it. He has his next target.

The sound of her phone ringing next to her head pulls Jane from her slumber. Her hand sends the phone flying and she has to fumble around in the dark to find it. After snatching it up, she groans a little at her interrupted sleep and brings the phone to her ear, "Rizzoli."

"You have to help me. She's gonna kill me."

The voice is gruff and urgent sounding and it snaps Jane right awake. "Who is this?"

"A dead man walking."

Jane glances at the alarm clock, it's just after five in the morning. "It's still dark out, quit with the cryptic."

"It's Bertie." The voice sounds resigned. "You need to fuckin' protect me hey. The crazy bitch is gonna get me killed."

"Who is?"'

"The one who started all this crap in the first place. This shit is fuckin' wild. I'm tellin' you I'll tell you everything. You just have to keep me safe."

It all sounds like insane nonsense to Jane's sleep addled brain. "If you want to confess, just turn yourself in at the nearest police station."

There's some sad laughter on the line. "If I do that, I'm dead."

"And I care why?" Jane asks, because she really doesn't care. This guy ordered someone else to kill Gabby. Not only that, he runs a drug dealing bikie gang. There's nothing to like about this guy at all and with a real madman on the loose targeting those she loves she isn't the least bit inclined to help this guy out. "Sounds like a you problem."

"I know who really put the hit on that chick the lady cop was asking about."

Chills run down Jane's spine as the words seep into her brain. She sits up and slides her feet off the bed. She's up on her feet in an instant and says, "You tell me that and I'll come get you myself."

"Come get me first and then I'll tell you." He counters firmly. "Otherwise I'm taking that secret to the grave."

"I'll have to bring you in, do a formal interview and try to corroborate your statement. Only way this works." Jane warns as she slips through the house to the kitchen, where she immediately turns on the kettle. She needs coffee and lots of it.

"I need witness protection!" He's adamant, but Jane knows that unless he has information on more than a simple hit and run order he isn't going to get it. He is the kingpin of a criminal organisation. He's the guy they all want put away.

The thing is she also knows if she tells him that he might just run, or get himself killed if the threat to his safety is legitimate. She can't let that happen. She needs to know who ordered the hit on Melissa. It could be crucial in unravelling the crazy web being spun by the psychopath fucking with them. "So I'll bring you in, just me and people I trust. We'll interview you, get the intel you have to offer and take it to the attorney general. If you roll on your entire operation and every other dirty piece of business you've been a part of or have going on there may be a deal that can be made."

She puts several large spoons of instant coffee into her mug. It's going to be sludge. It's going to be the kick she needs.

"Nah, I can't go to the station. She'll know. Surely you guys have a safe house or something? Take me there and I'll tell you everything!"

"Is there a cop involved?" Jane asks, because she needs to know, not only for his safety but her own. If somebody at the station is corrupt then she's in danger bringing him in. Worse yet if it is all connected, does that mean there's someone who's been ahead of the investigation this whole time? Does she have to worry about an active cop and not just two missing cops?

"Nah, I ain't sayin' a word until you get me somewhere safe!"

"Alright, fine." She snaps, her irritability slowly increasing. "Just tell me where to come get you. I'll get you somewhere safe."

"Check your front door." He says.

Jane's eyes widen in alarm, but she navigates her way through the house, taking her gun from the safe along the way. She grips it tightly as she heads down the hall. Her eyes immediately fall onto a piece of paper shoved under the door. She kneels down to pick it up. "This is from you?"

"Memorise it and burn it, you can't be too careful. See you soon detective."

The call ends and Jane stares at an address and a time. She's got 90 minutes to get things squared away and show up at the location. She can't go alone. So even though it's the last thing she wants to do, she calls Alec.

"What?" He grumbles on answer, "This better be good Rizzoli."

"I've got a lead on Bertie. Meet me at the station."

If it isn't the fact she trails into the bullpen right behind him. If it isn't the look she sees shared between them. It's the fact they both smell like the same damn shampoo that tells Jane precisely how close Alec and Rachael have gotten. Multiple doubts slam into her consciousness as she stands there trying to find words to articulate politely how pissed she is that Rachael's here right now. Bertie's investigation doesn't technically have a damn thing to do with Alexis' investigation. She doesn't need to be here.

In the end she decides against saying a word on the subject. Personal feelings aside, they all seem to want the same thing professionally. "I'm going for a drive."

Alec's eyebrows shoot up in query and she shakes her head at him, mouthing, "Not here."

Looks are exchanged and the trio set out for the garage. Ideally she would ride with Alec and have Rachael follow behind, so that she might have a moment to question his sanity privately. However it's apparent that isn't going to happen as Alec and Rachael pair off to one unmarked. She takes another and makes sure that Alec is right behind her as she pulls out onto the street. They have a thirty minute drive ahead of them to a rural location just south of the city.

As much as she absolutely hates this somewhat expected development in Alec's relationship with Rachael and as much as she absolutely loathes the woman, Jane is grateful that she has serious backup. The fact is she has no idea if this is legit. It's a rural location and while it makes sense as far as hiding out goes, it's also a prime space for an ambush. Bertie sounded on the level, but if she's learned anything lately it's to expect the unexpected.

The further into the drive she gets the more uneasy she feels. There's nothing she can put her finger on, but it sits there coiled at the pit of her stomach. She feels an intense need to call Melissa to hear her voice, but it isn't even seven in the morning. She doesn't want to wake her if she's sleeping. More to the point, she doesn't want to worry her. So instead she grabs her phone and very carefully taps out a quick I love you and hits send.

It doesn't really take away the sixth sense churning up her gut, but she doesn't have much else she can do to ease the feeling. It probably won't dissipate until this is over with and Bertie is locked away somewhere safe and she has her answers. God does she want the answers. She needs to figure this out like she needs oxygen.

As they pass through Youngtown, the last suburb between them and the location they're headed, it starts to feel a lot more real. She never used to think about this stuff. She'd just run head on into the fires of Hell if it were necessary to chase down a lead, but now, she has a seed of doubt creeping in and that in itself can be dangerous for a cop. It's a distraction. She realises it's her worry for Melissa if something should happen gnawing at her insides and yet she cannot bring herself to call her girlfriend. She's already dealing with so much. She doesn't need to worry for probably no reason.

Get your fucking shit together. Focus on the job at hand.

Jane thumbs her way through calling Maura and putting it on speaker phone. Maura is used to this level of worry and while it isn't necessarily fair to be putting this on her right now, hearing her voice might just do the trick. Plus Jane knows Maura will already be awake. It's a little more convenient. It's something.

"Jane? Is everything alright?"

Jane can't help but smile just a little at how well Maura knows her. The fact that she's calling this early is unusual behaviour. "Hey Maur," she manages to keep her voice steady, even though her nerves feel completely shot. Her Gung Ho attitude when she first woke up and heard what Bertie had on the table has all but dissipated at this point. "Yeah, it's alright. I'm alright. I'm just… on my way somewhere…"

"For the job?"

"Yeah. It might help with a few things." Jane's fairly certain her voice is still steady and she thinks she sounds normal. "I could be busy all day," she adds, trying harder to normalise the reason for her call. "So if Missy reaches out to you or Gabby can you let her know I'm just chasing up leads."

"Jane?" Maura's tone speaks volumes. There's a dash of worry, a pinch of incredulity and a splash of what's really going on?

Jane can't bring herself to outright say that she's got a bad feeling in her gut because she knows Maura would tell her to trust it. Maura would always tell her to err on the side of caution, because she gives a crap. But she can't do that right now. This offer is too damn good to refuse. Instead she just thinks about the worst possible outcome. Her mouth gets a little dry as the silence extends.

"What's really going on?" Now she isn't just inferring it is she, nope. Now she's flat out asking and Jane realises she clearly doesn't have a solid grip on herself right now. What was she thinking trying to slip something past Maura like this?

"I don't know what I'm walking into." She admits, her eyes glancing into the rear vision mirror as if seeking comfort from the fact backup is right behind her. "So if it goes south… I just…" Her fist slams into the steering wheel in frustration. She can't bring herself to say it outright, how much she cares. It feels like signing her own death certificate. This loss of focus is dangerous.

"I know." Maura says quietly.

Jane breathes easier. "And tell Missy…"

"I will."

She knows it's an ass of a thing to do, putting that on Maura like this, but there's no one on this earth she trusts more to carry out her last wishes should something bad happen. "I'm sorry, I just… I dunno, Maura. I got a really bad feeling, but I can't back down now. I have to see this through."

"I know." Maura sounds resigned, as if she's done this before.

Jane realises that perhaps she has in many ways. Not this kind of conversation, because this level of fear has never crossed her mind in the heat of the action before. She's never felt inclined to have a just in case moment until now. Maybe it's because she's getting older, maybe it's because her relationship with Melissa has brought to light different priorities and maybe it is just the stress of the psychopath lingering, waiting to strike that's doing this to her. She isn't really sure, she just knows that to some extent Maura will have experienced these same worries. Probably never more so than when Marino dragged her out of the morgue as a hostage. Now that was an intense situation. She found a way to survive that, but she can only imagine the terror Maura felt the moment she disappeared.

"Rizzoli!" Jane's thoughts freeze as she hears Gabby bark at her. "Get your head in the fucking game and keep it on a swivel. You'll be fine. You're a pro. You've got this."

"Uh.. yeah. Right." This is one of those moments Jane wants to slap herself. Self doubt is dangerous. She straightens up in her seat and nods to herself, fortifying herself and her mind. She has a job to do. A job that will go smoothly. No more catastrophising. "Thanks. I'm almost there. I'll talk to you both when it's over."

"What?" Gabby asks innocently right after she hangs up the phone. "She clearly needed the pep talk!"

Maura's smiling a touch as she lightly scolds, "Was that language necessary though?"

Gabby grins and shrugs her shoulders. It wasn't necessary, but hey, a little emphasis never hurt anyone. Between Maura's hushed explanation of the gist of the call and the worried look on her face it was pretty obvious Jane had to be snapped out of it. "Oh it was absolutely necessary."

Maura rolls her eyes and deftly snatches her phone from Gabby's hand and pockets it. She then turns back to breakfast preparation. "She will be alright though, won't she?"

Gabby is glad that Maura's not watching her face right now, because without knowing precisely what lead Jane is chasing down, how solid it is, if there's actually someone at the end of it, etcetera. She can't really say. The fact that Jane was getting into her own head about it though, suggests it might have something to do with the big bad hunting them at the moment. In which case, who fucking knows if Jane's going to be okay. Of course she can't say that, as much as she would like to live in the realm of honesty, because the last thing Maura needs right now is to be worrying about Jane more than she already does.

Gabby slips her arms under Maura's and wraps them around her body, interlocking her hands across her stomach. She moulds her front against Maura's back and presses several kisses into golden locks. Maura's shampoo is delectable and comforting and it feels so good having her in her arms. "Jane can handle herself. I'm sure she has everything under control."

Maura leans back into her touch, "I hope you're right."

Gabby's face is buried in Maura's hair when she hears a throat clear behind them. She lets an eye roll loose knowing that neither woman in the room with her can see it. It already feels like Maura's house guest is showing up at the most inopportune moments at an alarming pace. She lets Maura go and turns around, "Good morning Kelly."

"Mornin'." Kelly offers with what looks like a somewhat sheepish duck of the head. Gabby feels a little better realising that Kelly is probably finding this whole situation just as uncomfortable.

"Good morning." Maura's voice is bright and bubbly. "I was just preparing breakfast if you're hungry."

Kelly grabs a banana from the fruit bowl and waves it in their general direction. "This will do. Thanks."

Gabby watches her leave and turns back to Maura to find a worried look on her face. The one thing she's trying to keep her girlfriend from doing. "What's wrong?"

"Do you think she's doing alright?" Maura asks, her eyes still lingering on the spot vacated by Kelly.

Gabby knows this is an attempt to start a conversation, rather than a genuine question as Maura would have a much better idea than she does, even after their conversation the other night. "I think she's got a really heavy heart right now."

Maura's eyes flick in her direction and Gabby offers half a smile. The fact is Kelly being around reminds her of what happened with Alexis and the crap she endured with Melissa. Her own heart feels just as heavy as she imagines Kelly's does, but she is in two minds about saying anything.

Maura clearly notices the internal conflict, because she steps in and takes both of Gabby's hands in her own. "Talk to me, love."

Gabby drops her eyes, feeling incredibly vulnerable underneath the studious gaze of searching hazel orbs. She doesn't want to talk about it because she doesn't know how to articulate her pain in safe ways. It just builds and builds and maybe this right here is the problem. Maybe she shouldn't ignore when her loving, supportive girlfriend is trying to understand. She has to at least try, right?

She lifts her eyes, nodding slowly, more for herself than Maura as she remembers the many emotional pleas Maura has made with her since she woke up in the hospital. Pleas for honesty and to be trusted. She keeps it as simple as she can. "Her pain is my pain."

Gabby feels the gentle squeeze of her hands and knows that Maura is trying to be supportive, but it doesn't change how difficult it is to open up on this again. It was so much easier opening up yesterday in an uncontrolled eruption of rage than to calmly speak on the horrors of walking in on a scene like she did with Alexis. Kelly understands it better than anyone. She was a lot more fortunate with the outcome, though Gabby supposes, she still ended up losing the girl in a different way.

A sad little laugh falls from her lips as she shakes her head and pulls away from Maura. She pokes her head into the hall and looks both ways for Kelly, satisfied that she isn't nearby she closes the heavy wooden door that separates the kitchen from the hall and turns back to Maura. "She doesn't know the details of how Alex died and she really shouldn't if it can be avoided. She's been through enough back in Chicago. It's why I say that her pain is my pain. In some ways it's easier for her and in some ways it's gotta be worse."

Gabby finds that focusing on Maura's original question about how she thinks Kelly is doing is making talking about all of it a touch easier. Focusing on what Kelly might be feeling makes it feel a little less about her, even though she knows Maura's astute enough to read between the lines. "She held someone she loved as she almost bled out and even after saving her life, she has to live with the guilt of almost killing her wife. The woman she loves, cause Christ Maura, she loves that woman. She's fought tooth and nail for her and she's just gotta stand back and watch her fall a-fucking-part and the only thing she can do about it is let go. Letting go when you love somebody like that, it fuckin' hurts and I know you know that."

Maura nods, the only acknowledgment she gives that indicates she's listening. Gabby isn't bothered though, because she knows that Maura is being attentive to every word that comes out of her mouth and probably what she isn't saying too.

She runs her hand through her hair and shakes her head again. The heaviness in her heart feels like it is infecting her entire body. She feels lethargic and achy and her abdomen is twinging with pain. She wonders if the emotional stress is causing a physical reaction. She imagines Maura could give her a perfect explanation if she asked. She doesn't.

"I hate that she's here." It's a cold hard truth and Gabby really hates that she sees worry in Maura's eyes. Both hands run through her hair now as she tries to think her way through a succinct explanation. She just lands back on her original answer. "Her pain is my pain."

She's not trying to be an arsehole about this and she most certainly isn't asking Maura to go back on her word. She agreed to Kelly staying, she had an opportunity to speak up and she didn't. As much as she does hate it because Kelly is a walking, talking reminder of all of her grief, she knows that it's the right thing to do. She knows that it is something Maura needs and after losing her shit on her yesterday, well, Gabby would agree to pretty much anything. Including this conversation, which is only serving to make her feel entirely too vulnerable and grief stricken.

"Please understand." Gabby says quietly, shortening the distance between them. "Please."

Gabby's eyes close at the sensation of Maura's hand cupping her cheek. She revels in the gentle ministration of Maura's other hand through her hair and is thankful that of all the possible reactions to her admittance, it is this gentle, tender, loving one that she's receiving. This ease of intimacy between them is something that means the world to her, because she spends most of her time desperate to be strong and protective. She needs this. She needs to feel like being vulnerable is okay, and safe and Christ, does she love this woman. "Please," she utters once more.

She feels lips pepper along her jawline, until they finally stop and linger at the corner of her mouth. She feels the gentle breath that falls out of her girlfriend's lips when she quietly apologises. "I'm sorry my love. It didn't even occur to me how uncomfortable this might be for you emotionally."

"It's alright," Gabby says quietly, because it is. She knows that Maura wasn't being deliberately obtuse, she was simply trying to make a friend as safe as possible. Her heart was in the right place. It's pretty much always in the right place. It's what makes her so easy to love.

Both hands are cupping her face now as Maura says, "No it isn't. You shouldn't have to be reminded of your grief everytime you see her walk into a room or you hear her voice carry down the hall."

It isn't ideal, but neither are the alternatives. "These are not normal circumstances, Maura. It's not easy, but it's necessary."

"Okay," Maura agrees. "Only if you promise to tell me if it gets to be too much."

This isn't a promise Gabby wants to make, because it already feels like too much. Too much grief and too many interruptions to the new beginnings of their romantic relationship. So she makes a deal with herself, if she starts to feel like putting her fist through walls or Kelly's face, that's when she'll consider it 'too much'. That way she can make a promise that will satisfy Maura and ensure that Kelly doesn't end up dead, potentially killing their relationship in the process.

"You have my word." She seals it with a kiss and when the brief, tantalising meeting of lips is over she pulls Maura into her arms and holds her tightly. She quietly murmurs, "I love you."

Jane pulls over on the side of the road a couple of hundred metres away from the address she was given and gets out to greet Alec and Rachael after they pull in behind her. They meet between the two vehicles as she's opening the trunk.

"What are we doin out here, Rizzoli?" Alec asks.

Jane pulls a bullet proof vest from the trunk and starts putting it on. She explains, "Bertie called this morning. He wants to turn himself in because he thinks there's a hit on his life. He says he has intel on who ordered the hit on Missy in '05."

She watches Alec's brows furrow, "I thought he indicated Dyson was behind that?"

"Not likely." Rachael says quietly with a touch to his arm that makes Jane's skin crawl. "What reason would he have to do that? That's the most senseless, baseless accusation."

Although she doesn't know the players in this investigation as well as these two do, Jane's inclined to agree because Jacob's research was thorough. She knows more about Dyson than her own mother. He just doesn't seem the type. "Regardless, '05 could well be the key that unlocks the entire investigation. As much as I like operating on theories, I want something solid to go on. This is too good of an opportunity to ignore."

"It could be an ambush." Alec warns.

"I know," Jane says grimly. "That's why you're here. He gave me the impression someone at the station is involved with all of this. So we're not taking him back there."

"Safe house?" Alec says, his head on a swivel as he looks at the landscape around them. It's mostly pastures with grazing sheep and cattle, but there are rows of trees further along the road, probably lining the drive into the property they're headed to.

Jane nods. She frowns when Rachael's phone starts ringing, it feels incredibly loud in the early morning stillness.

"It's Dante," Rachael says more to Alec than Jane, "It could be important. Let me take this, I'll get our vests while I'm at it."

Jane watches as Rachael heads to the back of the vehicle she arrived in and then turns her gaze back onto Alec, who appears to read her mind as he explains. "Father of her kid."

It's a simple statement that almost grinds Jane's brain to a halt. She glances between Alec and the back of the car. She can't see Rachael because the trunk's up, but all she can think is she gets it now. No wonder Rachael didn't want to just put herself out there as bait. She's got a kid. "You didn't tell me she had a kid, Alec."

"That's why she didn't come back when the case was over." He explains quietly, huddling in closer, as if he is spilling state secrets. "She was pregnant and she wanted to try and make it work."

"She's risking a lot by being here, even workin' under her new name." Jane observes. She feels a small slither of respect for the woman, not that she'd ever admit that outloud to anyone, at all. The mere fact she feels it makes her stomach churn something chronic, because her instinct is to loathe this woman for the rest of eternity. So now not only does she have to tolerate her presence on her case, she has to wrap her head around a small slither of admiration of her toughness and fight the urge to strangle her all at once. This is, Jane realises, some bullshit.

"Yeah," Alec agrees, drawing her attention back to him. She watches as his eyes watch the same spot she was just looking at with intensity. "Regardless of what you think of her, she cares. She doesn't want to see everyone continuing to suffer because of her past, but she's got a kid to worry about."

"I'm never going to like her." Jane says firmly, "I can't."

"I know." He acknowledges quietly. "She knows she's hurt Missy in unforgivable ways and all she wants is to fix it."

"Well she can't," Jane snarls. "Not without a time machine."

"True," He agrees, "But she can help fix this. We need her on this, Jane."

Jane reluctantly nods, because it isn't like they've been getting anywhere without her. She forces a weak smile when Rachael returns, tossing a vest in Alec's direction. "Hope everything's alright."

Jane watches as Rachael's eyes shift toward Alec and then back onto her. She says, "Yeah, my kid just got twenty bucks from the tooth fairy and insisted on telling me about it."

Jane manages half a smile. "Lucky kid. I remember getting a dime for my teeth back in the day."

"That's because you're older than the dinosaurs, Rizzoli." Alec teases.

Jane smirks, not quite in the mood to laugh, but the tension she's been feeling lightens. She's reminded of the camaraderie between brothers (and sisters) in blue and despite all the personal shit that she's been allowing to drive a wedge between her and practically every single person around her, she believes when push comes to shove in the trenches, she can trust him.

"Yeah yeah. So anyway, Bertie is hiding out in a self-contained shed at the back of the property we're going to." She motions down the road, "The treeline along the drive is my primary concern. Google Maps showed that other than those trees the property is mostly pasture with clear line of sight, assuming the streetview is up to date."

"I'm assuming he's only going to turn himself into you, Rizzoli?" Alec asks.

"Yeah, he's a bit skittish. So when we get there, just hang back and cover my ass."

"Only after we've assessed the threat level." Rachael says, a serious look on her face.

Jane can't tell if it's the part of her that Alec says cares about cleaning up her mess or the fed in her that doesn't want anything going wrong on her watch. She decides it's the latter, because she really can't stomach the idea that there's a decent human being tucked somewhere deep inside that woman. "Right," she agrees, closing the trunk of her unmarked vehicle with a little extra force. "Let's go."

She doesn't wait for a response. She's done waiting. She wants this done and she wants the information Bertie can provide and she wants to catch the asshole threatening the lives of everyone she cares about. Only then can she really settle into thinking about the future she wants to build.

Her phone starts ringing as she turns into the drive. She glances down and sees that it's Melissa. She wants to answer the call. She wants to hear her voice, but now is not the time. Now is the time to be concentrating, so as much as it pains her she sends the call to voicemail and switches her phone onto silent. She lifts her eyes and watches the treeline as she proceeds along the driveway, thankfully nothing out of the ordinary can be seen between the trees. She pulls up short of the shed and leaves the engine idling while she continues to assess her surroundings. It's as she described, mostly pasture and fence as far as her eyes can see. There looks to be a water tower off in the distance, she estimates at least two hundred metres away.

Jane opens the dashboard and pulls out a small set of binoculars and scouts out the water tower. There's a ladder to the top, but she can't see anyone up there. She puts the binoculars away and climbs out of the vehicle. She looks back as she hears the closing of doors behind her. She sees Alec and Rachael draw their weapons and nods to acknowledge their presence.

She draws her own weapon and holds it out in front as she walks across the drive towards the shed. There's a makeshift window with tatty curtains that she notices move slightly before falling back into place. Immediately she moves her attention to the door as it starts to open. She moves off to the side out of direct view to protect herself and calls out, "Lead with both of your hands out where I can see them."

She watches with eagle eyes as a set of hands appear first from behind the door and then the rest of a solidly built man steps out. She locks onto his eyes and says, "Put your hands on your head."

When he obeys she holsters her weapon and bridges the last few yards between them. "Have you got any hidden weapons or sharp objects on your person?"

His eyes stare intently at her, but he quietly says, "Nah."

"I'm just going to search you now, for my safety and yours." She explains as she pats down his arms, torso and legs, finding nothing. Hope blooms in her chest because it is starting to feel like this is legitimate. Bertie really does want to turn himself in.

"Alright, turn around and put your hands behind your back." She cuffs him and reads him his rights, just in case the attorney general doesn't sign off on a deal. This needs to be by the book.

"Do you understand your rights as they have been explained to you?" She questions as she turns him to face the cars.

"Yeah." He says, watching her intently. "You're takin' me somewhere safe right?"

"Yeah, I am."

She starts leading him towards the car, her thoughts briefly sliding back to Melissa and how maybe after this they may finally be one step closer to freedom from excruciating psychological stress. She feels an extra pep in her step as they close in on her vehicle and then she feels a wet spray on her face. For a moment she looks up, there's not a cloud in the sky. It's then that her brain catches up with the thwap sound she heard right before she felt the spray. She wipes her face and as she's looking down at splotches of red on her hand, all Hell breaks loose.

She hears yelling, and the cry of "Sniper," and another cry of "Get down!" She can't for the life of her discern who is yelling what and before she can react she gets hit so hard the wind leaves her lungs with force. Her head cannons into the ground with a thud. She has an immediate splitting headache and her ears are ringing loudly. She tries to get to her feet, but she stumbles and lands on her hands and knees. She feels groggy as she rolls over and looks back behind her to see the blood pooling beneath Bertie's head. Before she can even finish formulating a thought on how fucking bad this is, she is swallowed by darkness.

A/N: Thanks for reading, and yes I know, you're probably even more stressed out now, but it's a soap, things will change for the better eventually ;)

But boy oh boy, has Jane bitten off more than she can chew being so distracted on the job?