5.

THE CRUMBLING WALLS

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They were sitting at a long table, sharing their evening meal with the rest of the War Rig convoy members. It had been another long day, one after a regular drive to the Bullet Farm and back - another successful one. The War Boys were chatting as usual, filling their time between bites with not-so-funny but harmless jokes and less-than-intriguing conversation.
Jack had finished his meal a while ago but was as always waiting for Furiosa to finish hers. It had become their unwritten and unspoken rule right from the day Furiosa joined his team - they always left the table together. Over the four months that had passed since the young woman became a Praetorian, the two had become inseparable.

They never spoke a lot, mostly in short, necessary sentences, but the silence between them while driving or working was never uncomfortable. They have developed a way of communication beyond words; most of the time, they understood each other just by looking at each other. As time passed, their relationship had quietly and inconspicuously developed as well; what started as joining forces for convenience, transitioned into a silent friendship, built on mutual trust, with constantly deepening roots. Neither one mentioned it but they both felt and silently accepted it. The student became a loyal, reliable and cherished companion; the tutor became a comfort and inspiration...

Furiosa still had mostly a distanced and serious expression on her face while at work, but her look turned fractionally softer every time her eyes met Jack's intriguing gaze. The War Rig commander hadn't paid close attention to women over the years of his life in the Citadel, at least not in the way of looking for a distraction. However, he found himself more often than ever watching Furiosa in silence whenever she didn't notice his eyes on her, mostly at work around the Rig.
The way the War Boys and servicemen in The House of the Holy Motors quickly accepted her as a part of the team made him smile. Within a short time, her prowess in defence, her determination and way of handling difficult situations were greatly admired and respected, almost as much as those of the War Rig convoy's leader, and Jack was more than happy to share the spotlight. However, as time passed, his heart filled with melancholy when the truth became obvious and its result was inevitable - there was nothing more he could teach his student about Road War; she had mastered all the physical and tactical skills Jack taught her. There was nothing more holding her in the Citadel…

"The Bommyknocker needs fixing," Furiosa interrupted his brooding and finished the food on her plate. "It got stuck twice before I was able to use it today."
"I know," Jack replied, his mind immediately back in the present. "I've already told the mechanics to look at it."
Furiosa nodded, then quietly got up from her seat. Jack followed her example, as usual, and they set out toward the servicing room. They walked wordlessly, each in their own thoughts.

At first, Furiosa didn't dare to look at him, suddenly taken aback by the reason which tempted her to do so: the confusion inside her when not being in Jack's presence started to make her restless, contradictory to how she felt when being near him. He wasn't by any means the first man she had encountered during her life in the Citadel, but he was the first one who didn't make her uncomfortable, disgusted, angry or afraid. In fact, he was the man who awakened something else in her, reminding her of the feminine part of herself, something she deliberately (and out of necessity) pushed aside for years. As a Praetorian, she was simply an extremely capable warrior to him, a great driver and the most loyal and respected team worker. However, when she caught his gaze in random, unguarded moments, his eyes spoke of something else – they told her he was looking at a woman.

The time she spent in Jack's presence was growing, and the growing turmoil in her mind became a real vision of returning to her home was still strong; it was something she still dreamt of at night sometimes, giving her a break from the exhausting nightmares about her past. However, a slight crack appeared in the perfect image now – Furiosa realised that despite all the trouble it might cause, she didn't want to return there alone…

Jack was buried in his own contemplation while the woman by his side pondered about him. A mild frown settled on his forehead, and his eyes were clouded with melancholy that didn't go unnoticed by Furiosa when she finally dared to glance at him. He knew the time had come to let her go her own way, as he promised at the beginning of their working partnership. Under his careful guidance, she became a Road Warrior like no other Jack had ever trained or known before.

The months were passing, and it was getting harder for Jack to keep his emotions locked inside and not affect him. Since he had come to the Citadel as a boy, he learned to guard his real thoughts and feelings in secret, bury them in the deepest part of his soul. He had been successful for many years, living each day with only one aim: to fulfil his duty and survive. Long years of each day looking almost identical to the previous one, where spontaneity and unexpected actions were as rare as finding a freshwater spring in the desert, Jack seemed to have not been troubled by anything but what maximum speed the engine of the War Rig could reach.

In the company of his team or other dwellers of the Citadel, he was the Commander, the man who never doubted, always delivered and always won, were it a road attack or a verbal exchange. On the inside, however, he was protecting the other, more vulnerable half of his personality - the side that kept him awake many a night, contemplating the meaning of his life, his loneliness and mortality, wishing for someone to help him free his bound spirit. He forgot what living outside the Citadel was like. No matter how hard he tried sometimes, the years of working for Immortan Joe left their mark on the man who once wanted to be like his parents - he learned to control his secret part. And then Furiosa entered his life, and the carefully preserved spirit suddenly desired nothing else than to be unleashed. Once their paths crossed, Jack started silently cursing himself, for now, he wished for things he was convinced could never be…

How can I ever go back to who I was after she's gone? Who was I really? What have I ever done to change this miserable existence we all have to endure? She has a dream, a vision… I don't know what it is but I admire her for it. I have never felt like this before and however hard I try to chase the thought away,I ache to be a part of that dream… No, I will never be the same man again…

A pained sigh escaped Jack's throat, as he momentarily forgot he wasn't alone. He noticed Furiosa's questioning eyes on him, their bright light hypnotising him for a beat. He stopped abruptly, with great effort averting his look from her penetrating gaze.
"There is something I have to do," he stated. "I'll see you later."

He turned into the nearest tunnel, leaving Furiosa standing alone in the dim light, watching him walk away and feeling more confused than before. He didn't know where he was going; the only thing he knew was that he needed a moment away from her to still the volcano bubbling inside him before it erupted and caused unnecessary destruction.

The air was hot and thick; all the leather Jack was clad in suddenly seemed oppressive, and he felt like ripping it apart to free himself from its unusually uncomfortable grip. The beat of his heart was deafening his ears and he realised there was only one thing he could do to settle the emotional overload threatening to overwhelm him - he began to run.

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It was the first time since becoming a Praetorian that Furiosa laid down to rest at the end of the day alone. She spent over an hour in The House of the Holy Motors, waiting for Jack to show up as he was meant to, but he never came. She didn't comment on it, and when the chief mechanic asked her about the Commander, a casual and very plausibly sounding excuse about Jack being detained by some urgent business would have to do.

After leaving the servicing room, Furiosa went straight to the sleeping room, her mind unsettled, mildly worried and overflowing with questions she hadn't dared to ask herself before. As she sat down on her bed, her eyes wandered to Jack's empty bed next to hers. It didn't feel right; he should have been there, resting by her side so she could hear his regular, soft breathing, lulling her to sleep. Furiosa remembered old stories of her tribe about otherworldly creatures called angels, who watched over and helped good people from above; people used to call them guardian angels. She wasn't sure why that memory crawled out of her subconsciousness at that moment, but suddenly it made sense: her life got better since Jack was by her side; she felt safer and appreciated. He was her guardian angel, only he was not above...

Where is he? He has never been away for so long without saying where he was going… Have I done or said anything to upset him and now he's avoiding me?

She dismissed her last thought with a shake of her head. No, Jack was not a sulking type; he was always honest with her if he didn't like something.

Jack… Where are you?

The frown on her face deepened. She wiped away a few beads of sweat from her forehead and took off her leather jacket. The top of her body, now covered only by an old and grubby shirt, suddenly felt revived in the hot night's air, and she stretched out on her bed, resting her cheek on her hand. Her gaze was still pinned to the empty space beside her when fatigue finally overcame her and Furiosa slowly slipped out of her consciousness into the land of her dark dreams.

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The sleeping room was quiet, interrupted only by the occasional sounds of snoring here and there when Jack finally entered it deep in the night. After running through the tunnels of the Citadel for what seemed like an eternity, he spent several hours in the hydroponic garden to rest his weary soul.

He was physically and emotionally exhausted. For the first time since that terrifying day when he was a boy, he felt the ground shifting beneath his feet. He realised that his bond with Furiosa was much stronger than he had thought, and it scared him. Jack knew he had to bury everything he had felt to find the strength to let her go. However, how to do it was the real challenge. And yet, he was determined to do it - for her sake. Her dream was to leave the Citadel for a better place, and he would keep his promise to her whatever toll it took, even the highest one - his heart.

The ever-present soft orange glow in the room illuminated the familiar, sleeping faces as he quietly walked past them to reach his own bed. When he finally stood at it, his eyes fell on the slender figure of the woman resting next to it. The expression on her face was neutral, a welcome change from the tension and unrest he had seen on it many times before.

Whatever he promised himself just moments earlier, he couldn't stop his emotions getting the better of him. Suppressing the hidden, gentler part of himself for so many years suddenly became an unbearable and intolerable burden. A solitary tear made its way out of the corner of Jack's eye, leaving its hot trace on his stubbly cheek. He swallowed hard, his face tormented by feelings he had never known. Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, steadying himself.

I will let you go… It will break me like a branch of a dead tree, but I will do it. I'll help you to get out of here to find a better life… Whatever it takes, I promise…

Jack silently took his usual place, ignoring the blanket underneath him. He studied the dark ceiling for some time before the night cast a spell on him at last, and he was allowed to rest his haunted soul.

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