6.

CLOUDS OF DOUBT

※

The journey from the Bullet Farm that day started as a silent affair as usual: Jack focused on the road ahead and Furiosa followed the merciless, hot desert passing behind the Rig's windows. However, the silence didn't last long this time. The moment Jack saw the War Boys in the back joining their team members on top of the truck, out of sight and earshot, he reached beside his seat, producing a new pistol and passing it to Furiosa.

"For you," he said, glancing at her.
Furiosa studied the weapon, which was significantly larger than the half-pistol-half-knife she already had and reminded her of her first encounter with Jack. Her hands examined the polished metal and wood surfaces, and she couldn't suppress a small smile of joy and pride.
"For your travels," Jack added.
Furiosa's smile faded as she looked at him. The words sent a sudden chill down her spine.
"You're done here. You're free to go," Jack stated.
Their eyes met: Jack's calm but unreadable, Furiosa's wide-open and… shocked, and not in a nice way.
"Food, water, wheels," Jack continued slowly after directing his eyes on the road again, "whatever you need, I'll help you put it together... Gimme a couple of days."

Furiosa let out an inaudible sigh and averted her eyes to the landscape quickly passing behind the window. Swallowing hard, she was trying to process the words she had just heard.
"You're free to go…"
Was she, though? Suddenly it felt like she was anything but.

Jack's neutral facial expression softened a bit. While he was talking, it was easier to distance himself from his emotions. Now that he had stopped, and had spoken the words out loud, their impact caused a wave of sadness hitting him again, reaching his eyes.
It has to be like this. You're doing the right thing…

He decided to focus on the journey back. However, the downheartedness remained on his face, lingering like a shadow he couldn't rid himself of.

Not another word was spoken between them for the rest of the drive.

※※※

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, with unloading and sorting out of the supplies from the Bullet Farm, and carrying out the routine maintenance work on the War Rig in preparation for the journey to Gas Town in two days. Furiosa was even quieter than usual, focusing on her tasks and subconsciously avoiding eye contact with Jack. Since his announcement earlier in the day, her mind was drowning in confusion, facing a dilemma she was not prepared for.

Jack noticed her absentmindedness, but because she fulfilled all her tasks perfectly as usual, he didn't comment on it. His own mind was in turmoil, causing him a hard time keeping his focus on work. He started contemplating what excuse he would give to the mechanics when requesting a motorbike to be attached on top of the pursuit car once the day of Furiosa's leaving came. Working on an escape plan for her kept his head busy, helping him to fight the gloomy prospect of his life in the Citadel once Furiosa had left.

"The Rig is all clear," the woman on his mind suddenly interrupted his pondering. "We can start loading it tomorrow."
She glanced at Jack for the first time since they had returned from the Bullet Farm. When their eyes met, she quickly looked away as if afraid of what reflection of herself she would see in his green irises.
"All right," Jack said quietly, but his face was unreadable yet again.
Furiosa nodded, more out of the need to show him her acknowledgement than out of necessity.
"I'm not going for dinner today, I'm not hungry," she added, her eyes keenly studying the grains of sand at her feet.
"All right," Jack said in the same tone again, watching her uncharacteristic uncertainty.
"All right…," she parrotted back, her voice fading. Then her feet finally decided it was time to move, and she walked out of the servicing room.

Jack watched her leave, and his eyes lingered on the same spot for a long time after she vanished out of his sight. A frown creased his forehead, the first sign of his real emotional state. For years, he thought he had settled into a life that guaranteed him survival and a relatively comfortable existence, whatever that meant in the Wasteland. His frown deepened when he realised he hit the nail on the head.
Surviving… That's not the same as living… but who can really live in this world?

For a few brief months, Jack was reminded what it means to live again, not just survive. The spark that Furiosa's dream and appearance in his life ignited in him was like a patulous green tree bearing sweet fruit: invigorating and nostalgic. It reminded him of a time when things were different, less life-threatening and more human... time from such a deep past that he had almost forgotten about it. He was but a child back then, and yet the way he used to feel with his parents and friends back home emerged from the shadow vividly. Long suppressed memories and feelings reappeared once Furiosa so inimitably entered his life. And soon he had to pretend she had never even existed…

This 'letting her go' business was proving tougher than he had expected.

※※※

Furiosa was restless and unable to fall asleep that night. What made it worse was that she was really hungry. She only didn't go for dinner because she couldn't face sitting opposite Jack at the table, while her mind was racing with thoughts bordering on rebellion. For thirteen years, she desired nothing else but to leave the Citadel, focusing everything on achieving that goal one day. And now that she finally had the chance to do it, something inside her was screaming from the top of its lungs words opposing the mere idea of that dream…

When Jack came to the sleeping room, they didn't speak. However, just as Furiosa, Jack couldn't sleep a wink. His eyes watched her stone-faced expression as she stared above and watched the shadows of the fire flames dancing on the ceiling. He knew she could feel his gaze and was probably unnerved by it, but he couldn't help it. If this was one of the last nights he had the opportunity to do so, he wanted to remember as much as possible. The comfort of having her resting so close to him, the way her eyes greeted him every morning after waking up, the peace he felt in her nearness…

At last, Furiosa finally fell asleep and Jack sighed, his eyes lingering on her face. It didn't take more than a few minutes when he realised she was having a nightmare again. A mild frown and barely visible jerking of her head from side to side were as telling as the tension on her face and the hand on her chest, having a tight grip on her half-knife she slept with every night just like he did, always prepared for self-defence. For months, Jack kept wondering about the cause of her bad dreams but he never dared to ask about it. Furiosa wasn't the type to offer personal information, and he didn't wish to pry it out of her unless she felt comfortable talking about it herself.

However, the discomfort on her face seemed stronger that night, her chest suddenly heaving. Jack wasn't immune to mental suffering, remembering his own nightmares for months after he was brought to the Citadel as a boy. He couldn't keep watching or worse, turning his back on her. He sat up, and his hand slowly and gently reached for Furiosa's shoulder. Waking her up seemed like the best idea. Anyone lesser might have regretted it seconds later, because Furiosa suddenly sat up with the speed of light, and her hand, holding the knife, immediately went after the supposed attacker's face.

Jack's immaculate reflexes and anticipating a similar reaction saved his life as his hand quickly blocked Furiosa's hand, holding her wrist tight only inches away from his eyes. He didn't say a word, watching her breathe heavily, regarding him with widened, frightened but resilient eyes. Realising who he was, Furiosa's frantic breathing started slowing down. Her eyes, glowing in the dim space between them, pierced Jack's calm gaze. There was more than calmness in it - compassion but above all, some deep pain and torment, the meaning of which she only guessed. She had never seen Jack looking at her that way. It stirred something in her heart, stinging her with force, yet keeping her tongue-tied as she couldn't utter a word, completely drawn into his emotions.

Jack's eyes bore into hers, searching for answers and at the same time, wishing he could always be there to soothe her pain. In one long, silent gaze, he bared his whole soul to her.
What must you have been through in your life to have such nightmares? Who has left such a terrible scar on your soul? Whatever happened to you, I would never let anyone harm you again, ever…

The look of his green pools was softer than ever before; he was unable to hide the sadness, though. Furiosa held his gaze, not daring to blink, in case he vanished before her eyes. The calmness radiating from Jack always had a profound effect on her, bringing her composure and making her feel safe. However, tonight, it mingled with the sadness and pain in his face, penetrating the fragile walls of her heart.

She let him gently push her hand back down, her fingers still securely wrapped around her weapon, while he maintained the intense eye contact. As her body slowly sank back onto the bed, her eyes didn't leave his gaze, as the reality of her imminent departure struck her again. Furiosa didn't want to leave those warm, fully focused green eyes looking at her in any way, but especially like they were at that moment. She didn't want to leave the comfortable feel of his nearness, the strength of his belief in her, his… friendship (even though they never named their relationship as such). She simply didn't want to leave Jack, and if stealing a few more precious moments of memorising that gaze was all she would get, she wouldn't waste a second.

A quiet sigh escaped from Jack's throat when he reluctantly let go of her hand at last. The loss of his warmth on her skin made her wince involuntarily, but she tried to cover it by finally averting her eyes from his face and pulling her hand closer to her cheek, pretending to settle in again. Jack reached for the edge of her worn blanket and pulled it up to her shoulders like his mother used to cover him when he was a child. Furiosa couldn't resist looking at him again. His tender gesture, so uncharacteristic for the environment they both lived in, made her heart ache even more.

Jack resumed his lying position, pulling his own blanket up to his chest, as he usually did.
Enough…

He didn't feel tired but knew that for his sanity's sake, he had to get some sleep. Therefore, without another glance at the woman by his side - although his head was still full of her - he closed his eyes and prayed for an early drifting away.

※※※

"I know it's earlier than planned, but we need to get going within an hour. The message was clear: the longer we wait, the more probable it is for the situation to escalate," Jack said to a group of Warboys standing at the War Rig and listening to him.
"Shouldn't we tell…?"
"Immortan Joe knows," Jack interrupted one of his men. "It's his order to leave early."
None of the Warboys had anything to argue about.
"We're leaving in an hour," the Praetorian concluded and watched his team members nod and go their own way.

"What's going on?" Furiosa asked from behind his back, making him turn.
"A messenger came from Gas Town. It's a mystery how he managed to escape there because Dementus and his gang invaded it yesterday." Furiosa frowned, feeling rage rising within her."The problem is, we need more gasoline, so we are still driving there today, only earlier than planned."

He watched her for a moment, noticing the emotional change on her face. It seemed as if something angry was bubbling inside her, waiting to burst out into the open. Whatever it was, she managed to push it away and seemingly returned to normal.
"All right, I'll get ready," she said and turned to leave.
"I'll be driving," Jack stated, stopping her in her tracks.
"It's my turn today," Furiosa countered, unsure about his sudden reason for changing their usual system.
"I know, but it'll be unpredictable today, quite possibly more dangerous."

Furiosa frowned again.
"You don't trust my driving?" she asked. Now, the anger really started rising inside her, although for another reason.
"I don't trust Dementus," Jack replied calmly, understanding her confusion.
"Is it because I'm a woman?" Furiosa inquired, unnerved. In truth, Jack always treated her as equal to men and she found it difficult to believe he would change his attitude now. Still, she needed to know.
"No. I've been driving Rigs for much longer than you, and have more experience in driving them in challenging situations. You will look out for any trouble and cover me, should it be necessary. We need to get back with the gasoline supplies."

Furiosa took a deep breath in an attempt to stay calm. It was proving to be a hard task, though.
"You've taught me everything about Road War, all the tricks to beat or escape the enemy while driving the Rig, how to maintain a cool head under a heavy attack, everything needed for this situation. For goodness sake, we met under attack! Why can't you just…?"
"Because I said so!" Jack cut her off, suddenly losing his composure.
Surprised by the loss of his usual self-control, Furiosa backed off, understanding she would not succeed in changing his mind. Still, it didn't mean she wasn't angry.
"Fine!" she barked between her teeth, turned on her heel and walked away.

Jack briefly closed his eyes, sighing heavily. He didn't tell Furiosa the whole truth. If he had, she would know it wasn't her shorter driving experience that made him want to sit in the driver's seat today. The real reason was that it was safer for her. In case of any attack, she could focus properly on self-defence. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was a woman and everything to do with the promise Jack gave himself before – the promise of letting no harm come to her. The decision that cost him her anger had its foundation in his heart.

The cloud of a bad premonition suddenly hung above felt in his bones that things were about to get hot.

※※※※※