One . . .

My breath came out in short bursts.

. . . two . . .

Fingers trembled into fists.

. . . three . . .

I could hear their footsteps approaching.

. . . four . . .

I shoved my hair back.

. . . five!

Power jolted down my body and I leapt to my feet, springing onto the hood of the car. The air slashed across my body as hair twisted around my face. There was a collusion that shattered into my legs; I wrapped my thighs around the Mutant, squeezing around the back of its neck.

The Mutant hollered and backed into circles. Fingers dug deep into my legs. I clenched my thighs, wrapping my elbow beneath its jaw. Blood pumped hard beneath my skin. I threw out a hand in my knife's direction. The warmth buzzed in my ears when a searing pain burst over my scalp. Fingers wrapped around my hair and then tugged until I was flying through the air.

The world pummelled into my chest until something cracked against the back of my head. It rung with a metallic twang as the surface folded beneath my bones. Black rays swam across my vision as the world formed into a knot that threatened to hurl down my throat. I launched forward, hands on my chest (which I half–expected to crack from the pressure), and hacked violently. The ground trembled beneath the Mutants' feet as the creatures charged for me. Their mouths were gaping and saliva flew out from their jagged teeth, but I couldn't hear anything from beneath the ear–splitting ringing.

I attempted to get back to my feet, but the nausea clawed at my throat until it had pushed against my face. The ground slammed up into my stomach as my head continued to spin. Trees swooped around me as the earth moved in waves. Something was rocking in my throat; I couldn't be sure if it was my heart or my lunch.

Clamping my teeth together, I slid my hands out onto the floor until I could push myself onto my knees.

I looked to the Mutants who ran like dogs.

The sight of them made the skin on my back bristle like hot knives. Blood pounded hard in my ears, like it wanted to push me down. I dug my nails into the ground, hard enough that had it been skin, I would've drawn blood. Keeping one hand down, I raised my other until I could feel the heat travelling from my nails down to my shoulder. The metal was singing as it neared me. I could hear it before I saw it. But it flashed, nearing my fingers, until the Mutants in front of me, suddenly became very, very blurry.

I paused, the knife dropping to the ground, then looked up.

The world was becoming distorted. Colours were becoming ragged, bleeding into one another, as the sounds fell away. Then, there was a flash, as the Mutants and surroundings vanished, leaving me alone in a familiar blank room.

Its sight infuriated me.

"What the hell, Nel?" I yanked my gaze in her direction. "I was doing fi—"

"It's almost time for school, Helga," she replied from behind her window. The glass was tinted, but even from here, I could see the tiredness in her eyes. Hear the exhaustion in her voice. "If you want to make it in time for your bus, we're going to have to pack up now."

I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm not catching the bus, Einstein."

She paused mid–yawn. "What?"

"I'll just jog to school, it's no big deal," I said with a shrug. I could feel her staring at me and turned away so she couldn't see my expression. "It'll probably benefit me to run that far."

The air seemed to still, like the room was holding its breath, even though it was just us here. It made my lungs kick at my ribs and my stomach roll until it was stuffed in my throat. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, like my skin was too tight for my body. I swallowed anyway. Blinked back the water that wanted to fog my vision.

Finally, she sighed and said softly, "Helga, you're pushing yourself much too far."

Oh, criminy. Here we go again.

"And? I'm the only Guardian Hillwood has," I snapped without looking at her. "We can't waste anymore time. Neither of us know when Serec or another Mutant are gonna get here. We have to be prepared for it."

But despite what I said, I felt the opposite. I wasn't running, I wasn't fighting, I wasn't even standing. The adrenaline was no longer flaring like it had been and without it, it became harder to deny that I was exhausted. I could feel the fog filling my brain and sinking deep into my muscles. I shook my face as if that would wake me and shifted my stare across the ground. I wasn't looking at her, but I could feel Nel's stare hot on my neck.

"But Helga—"

"Turn on the holograms, Nel."

I forced myself back onto my feet. But the world was still reeling and for a moment, I lost my balance and fell onto my knee. The impact rang in my ears and a weight dropped into my shoulders that made it hard to push myself back up. The weight was bitter, a mixture of the exhaustion and pain that made everything turn on its side. I wanted to lift my hands, but it was like they were chained to the ground.

Salt burned my eyes.

I didn't know how long Nel and I had been here. Maybe it had been hours, maybe it had only been minutes. But at some point, I had realised that sleep wouldn't be a possibility. The bedsheets had pressed cold and wet against my face, and a panic poured around my heart until it became hard to breathe. It had taken some convincing, but Nel had relented when I promised that I would head straight home after school (provided that we weren't attacked). But her eyes had watched my back as I had run around my room, finding my shoes. She was analysing me, like she always seemed to be doing. I didn't know what it was that she saw, but I increasingly became scared of it, since she hadn't pointed anything out. The entire time, I chose not to look into her eyes once.

I hadn't allowed myself to register the pain once while we were down here. I had drowned it all out and focused on strategic thinking, searching for ways to escape the scenarios that Nel set up from behind her desk.

But now that we had stopped, I didn't have anything to fall back on. I didn't have anything to hide behind. The adrenaline was gone and without it, everything had become very heavy. My eyelids felt like they were swollen and the ground threatened to cave beneath my feet. I was tired. I was exhausted. And I did want to go back. I wanted to take the day off. I didn't think I could handle another day at school.

But in doing that, I would be giving up.

And I . . .

Don't be useless, Helga.

I couldn't do that. I couldn't. I was so used to being the failure. The last pick. The one that no one wanted, the one that people either forgot about, or hated. There wasn't a place in this world for me. But I had finally been chosen for something in my life. Finally, something had found me and wanted me. Regardless of how I felt about being a Guardian now, I wouldn't disappoint it. I wouldn't make them—whoever they were—regret their choice. Someone finally wanted me. There had to be a reason.

Besides—

'Acantha, she will be pleased to hear this.'

He was coming. She still lingered in the shadows. Something greater than everything wanted to tear this world apart. It was my job to prevent it. I couldn't run away from that fact. I couldn't pretend that it didn't exist. This was a nightmare that I couldn't pinch myself awake from. This was my reality that I needed to prevent from becoming other people's realities. And waiting around for someone to take notice was a trap that I couldn't fall back into. I often dreamed that all my nightmares would end when I was woken by the perfect kiss. The hazy glow would settle into his face and his hands would sink into my hair. But I needed to get realistic. Nobody was coming to save me. I had no one. I needed to keep saving myself. It was a rare thing I was actually good at: picking myself up again and pretending that I had never been hurt. To stop now would be to turn my problems back onto everyone else again. I couldn't do that.

You're the shield, never the victor.

I wanted to be angry, but I wasn't. I always knew that my life would amount to nothing. I would fade into the background until I turned to dust, and the world would continue turning. This at least gave me something to die for. Even if I was just a distraction. Even if I was only a sacrifice. I couldn't abandon everyone.

Something flashed around me.

I looked up to find myself standing in the middle of a road that stretched for miles like it were a dark ribbon. The sky was bare and without a single star, and the wind howled until my strands were pouring into my face.

I moved them away but spared a small smile. I didn't know where Nel was anymore, but I hoped that she could sense my gratitude.

There was a dark figure that stood a few hundred feet away from me. It had long, thick arms and spindly fingers that grazed past its knees.

I moved my hair out of my face again as I gave it a once over, checking for any potential weaknesses.

The air stilled as we studied one another.

Then, like someone had shouted a command, we charged.

The wind whistled in my ears as I bolted for the Mutant. The noises echoed from beneath its feet as it got closer. I swept the hair from my eyes and leapt from my toes and into the air. My stomach fell into knots as I twisted my body in an elaborate twirl. The air wrapped around my arms and for a moment, a rhythm tingled in my chest. I had forgotten how light everything was in this body. The Mutant's presence washed over me and I snapped out my leg until there was a sharp crack! that made its body fall backwards.

Landing on my feet, I smirked.

I'd nailed it in the nose.

So it was unsurprising that my body was sore for the rest of the day.

It didn't matter how much I moved my arms, twisted my wrists, or stretched my back, I was always in some level of discomfort which flared whenever I took so much as a step. It was as if my muscles had clamped into stone so they could press into my bones until they snapped. The sensation made it hard to keep standing and for the third time, I had to shake my head to pull myself out of the daze. It didn't help that, true to my word, I had run here, rather than take the bus.

Which, I know, sounded crazy. Running all the way to school from training was psychopathic behaviour. But the whole being a Guardian thing meant that I was faster. I was this strange mixture of being as hard and strong as stone while also being as light as a feather. It was strange because my movements didn't feel different then from when I was Helga, but the earth slipped beneath my feet so much quicker. I could cross larger distances in less time, and most of the time, it barely even left me winded. So, I figured I could make it in half an hour tops. Which I did, only—

The knot in my neck suddenly burned like it wanted to remind me of how tired I was. I wanted to roll my eyes. Okay yeah, so turns out being a Guardian didn't make you invincible. I still needed to rest and eat to recover my energy (of which, I had done neither). Thank goodness, I was headed straight home after school. I didn't know whether to dive straight into bed or run myself a long and hot bath. I could probably knock two birds down with one stone and fall asleep while in that long and hot bath.

I shook my head to get rid of the thought. I wasn't home yet; I was still at school. It wasn't even the first period. I still had a long way's to go before the end of the day.

I rubbed my eyes as I searched for the correct books. It was taking longer than necessary. The good thing about being in so much pain was that it made it easier to resist sleep. But that didn't mean that I wasn't still out of it. The words along the spine were fuzzy and I could barely translate them in my head.

I picked out the ones that seemed right and tucked them beneath my armpit. Slamming the locker shut, I turned around when I caught a flash of golden hair.

I looked before I could help myself.

And heaved a sigh.

Of course, while I was feeling my worst, Arnold was looking his best.

He was on the other end of the hallway and surrounded by his friends as he collected his own books. But like yesterday, the crowds seemed to part when I looked at them, giving me a perfect view of the Adonis.

The lights streamed through his hair, sliding beneath his cheeks and hooking on the edges of his smile. Watching him, I wanted to melt. He looked dazzling. He had his hair shoved backwards, but strands were defying his will to hang over his brow again. My fingers twitched. I dreamed of sinking my fingers into those strands.

Someone must have said something funny because everyone was laughing. Gerald had thrown his head back to bark out his laughter while Arnold stood beside him. He was a little quieter. He chuckled, but there was a meekness to it. He twisted his bag straps in his hands, somewhat self–consciously. I wondered if the joke had been made at his expense. But he didn't seem uncomfortable. His lips were pulled into that playful smile that exposed his teeth, eyebrows bobbing.

But he shuffled, like he was painfully conscious of someone's presence.

I then took notice of the head of red hair beside him. I held back a sigh. Lila. Of course. No wonder he seemed so flustered. She stood so close to him, she may as well be hanging onto him. I tried not to let that pain me. I tried not to let that hurt. Come on Helga, you knew this. You knew that eventually, something would happen between those two and you would be forced to watch from the sidelines. Because he didn't want you. No one wanted you.

Right.

I moved in the direction of my next class, when—

"Ah!"

—I crashed into someone.

They bounced off from my chest as my books clattered to the ground. I had to clamp down on my tongue to hold back the scream when one struck my toes. Shit. The person stepped back, their black hair the only thing I could see in their face. I could feel stares pouring into my back and I crunched my hands into fists. Christ, this wasn't exactly keeping it low, Pataki.

"Oops—Helga! I'm so sorry."

Huh?

I looked down to see Phoebe's sheepish face. The smile she wore became more genuine when she noted that it was me and not some stranger. But she still looked slightly embarrassed to have run straight into me.

The sight of her sent an arrow straight through my chest. Familiar sensations from yesterday rushed back into my brain; the grief that had flooded my system until it had burned a hole into my chest. The wavering and blurring as the ground kept slamming into my heels. I had been spinning, had that been what made everything twist around me? Or, had it been the knowledge, the awareness? The way that my destiny had been revealed, all sharp teeth and without the bow. My destiny, my death. No memory. It had all lodged into my mind with a violet crack! as my stomach had hovered close to the back of my throat.

Everything of mine was about to come down to nothing. And I was powerless to outrun it.

Of course, I didn't say any of that when I looked at her.

I said nothing.

Instead, I gave her a nod then ducked to the ground to pick up my books.

"I've got them," she followed me. "I—"

I snatched my hand away before she could accidentally brush her fingers against mine. It left several books between us, which I didn't make an effort to move towards. I could feel my vocals burying themselves deeper into my throat as I looked at her. But she didn't seem to have noticed. Something had caught her attention.

I followed her line of sight and almost dropped dead right there.

Because, amongst my books and loose papers, was an article that I'd torn from one of Olga's stupid magazines.

An article titled, 'How to Walk in High–Heels'.

Fuck.

How was I supposed to explain that? Phoebe knew me more than anyone. She knew that I would never even touch a high–heeled shoe, let alone look into wearing one.

I snatched the article away from her grasp and shoved it between my books. Phoebe glanced at me. I couldn't tell if she was offended with my behaviour. But her eyes were moving over my face. I looked away to escape her scrutinising gaze but I could feel my cheeks already burning.

It wasn't helping that Arnold and his group were staring at us. I wasn't sure why they were; it wasn't like anything significant was happening. Or maybe, it wasn't us they were watching, but Phoebe. Maybe they were feeling sorry for her because her supposed best friend was blowing her off, as if she was in the position to be turning anyone down.

"Sorry," Phoebe finally said and tilted her head. "Anyways, it seems that I am free again. Would you be interested in making up for our lost session of Sundae Monday?"

Which one? I thought before I could stop myself. But I bit back that bitterness and tucked it away in a dark corner in my mind.

Sucking in a breath, I shut my eyes.

Here we go again. Attempting to rekindle a friendship. I hated doing this to her.

'Acantha, she will be pleased to hear this.'

But I had to.

"I can't." I clenched the books tight to my chest and rose to my feet. Phoebe followed me. "I'm busy."

The hallway felt emptier than usual. Were people leaving? Were they eavesdropping? I could imagine what they were thinking, what they were whispering to each other. 'Ugh, that awful Pataki. Such an ugly girl. Always keeping people from smiling. Surprising that it's her doing the ditching and not Phoebe, but hopefully, Phoebe will see some sense and let it happen. Helga only held her back anyway.'

I was ready to leave when Phoebe finally said—

"You said that yesterday."

I froze. Shit.

Turning to her, I was surprised by the cool acceptance on her face. Like she had already predicted that answer although she still had so many questions. She knew that I was lying. It didn't surprise me; she knew me more than anyone on this planet. She knew when my words weren't connecting. She could recognise when the only thing tying them together were white lies.

"I . . ." why was my throat so dry? "I have errands. I . . . It's Bob. That man's totally useless, I swear."

I forced a laugh. It was empty–sounding, like I was trying to hold back tears.

"Maybe I could help you?" she tried again. "After all, two hands are more useful than one."

I lowered my eyes away from hers. I couldn't look at her when I lied.

"Sorry Pheebs," I murmured. "Bob wants me to do this on my own."

She didn't respond to that. It didn't surprise me. What could she say?

The stares were pouring hotter into my neck. I bit my lip. They were still watching. Why? Their gazes had become heavier. Were they harsher? More judgemental? I could feel the fire building in my spine to scorch my bone. I shuffled. I didn't know what had their attention, but I needed to escape it.

"I'm really sorry Pheebs, but I gotta get—"

"How was your appointment yesterday?"

I paused then looked up. "What?"

"At the Orthodontist," she stressed, eyes boring into mine.

And for a moment, I stared at her, struggling to latch onto the words I must have told her yesterday. Orthodontist. Right. That must have been the lie I had fed her. I had completely forgotten. It shouldn't have been hard to tell her another lie, but the stares were building. They made something turn in my chest as I stumbled slightly beneath them. One in particular stared harder than all the others. Their stare was sharper than everyone else's combined.

"Uhh," I stepped backwards. "Yeah, I—it was all good. Nothing wrong over here."

I was smiling but she didn't return it. She frowned at me, eyes sweeping over my face as she calculated how big a lie that was from how big my grin appeared.

I needed to get out of here.

"Helga—"

"Sorry, Pheebs!" I laughed despite the lump that was rising in my throat. "But I gotta get going! Wouldn't wanna keep good ol' Algebra waiting!"

And before she could say anything, I bolted.

My heart was thumping the whole time. I didn't give her the chance to say anything, not even to point out that it was a Thursday so Algebra wasn't until fourth period. I just ran and didn't even give myself the chance to breathe until I had raced out of the corridor.

Then, pressing my back against the wall, I released a deep breath and lowered my chin. This was for the best, I kept reminding myself. This was for her.

Something had sliced through the numbness that had been keeping me on my feet. The pain that bled through was different than before. It didn't hurt, but it stung. The wall was beating against my back, like it was trying to punch through to my heart. Voices faded in and out. The knot in my throat rolled until something was pooling across my vision. I blinked it back. Pressed my lips together to make sure that I wouldn't scream, to keep myself from crying.

The afternoon I had been stitching together—the hot water that would roll across my body. The quiet that would fill the air and push until my ears ached. The shampoo that I would scrub into my scalp. Daffodils. It all didn't matter because it would amount to nothing. The illusion that I had been using to keep myself afloat was only that—an illusion. A Band-Aid to slap onto a bullet wound. It didn't matter.

I wrapped my hands tight around the books against my chest and watched the wall across from me. Reminded myself: I was doing this for her, I was doing this for her, I was doing this for her. I was going to die, but I was doing it for her.

Right?

I was in a sour mood after that.

Not that I often attended school chipper. Or even that this morning had been all that pleasant. But the pretend that I had been attempting was gone and now, with my chest feeling like it was bleeding out, I had nothing left to grapple onto.

I often spent my classes sealed away, crossing my arms and lingering in my seat. But today I didn't even look away from the window. The sun slid across my face and while the teacher would go on, I would shut my eyes and pretend that I was anywhere but here. Picture what I would do had I never accepted this; if I never had to worry about it. I hadn't realised how much I had going for me until now that it was all being taken away. People still looked away from me, wanting nothing to do with me, but there were still possibilities for me that existed outside of this school. Now, it was questionable whether I would make it to the next day.

But as I watched the sun slink behind the clouds, I imagined that none of it existed. I wondered, what would I do? Would I ever look up and raise my hand? Would that convince the teachers that I was smart? Would that prove my capabilities to my class? Would that make Arnold notice me? More than that, had there ever been a possibility that he could love me? Or had I always been destined to watch him from afar? I wasn't Lila, I reminded myself. I could be Blue Jay, but I was never going to be Lila. And Lila was what he wanted. Girls like Lila. Not me. Never me.

It was ironic that I thought that because right when I did, a shape popped up across my vision and something crashed into my face. I blinked against the fabric that invaded my senses. I had been heading for my next class when it happened. And granted, I hadn't reacted as fast as I should have. It surprised me that with my reflexes, I could still have moments like this—crashing into someone.

"Oh—sorry!"

Their hands hovered around my shoulders before they stepped backwards and blinking, I found myself looking up at Arnold.

He had been smiling, somewhat sheepishly. But then his eyes went across my features and his eyebrows bobbed in recognition.

"Helga," he grinned, voice lightening. "Hey."

And I looked at him, really looked at him. Traced his face with my eyes. Trying to figure out his game. The last time Arnold had spoken to me had been concerning his feelings for Blue Jay, but before all that, he had never said anything to me unless absolutely necessary. Let alone in the middle of a hallway where everyone was still trying to get to their classes. Why was he suddenly greeting me? Was he just being polite?

He swallowed when I didn't say anything but forced his grin higher.

"You headin' to P.E.?"

It made me frown. Yeah, of course I was. "Where else would I be going?"

That last part, I hadn't actually meant to say out loud. I wasn't even sure if I had been planning on saying anything to him, or if I was just going to nod and be on my way. But now the words were out and I was stuck with the fallout.

The response surprised him.

He blinked, then rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, that's true," he admitted with a sheepish laugh.

I expected for him to leave after that, but he didn't. He stayed there as the space between his brows furrowed and then smoothed. His gaze was hovering across my features. I didn't have the courage to meet it, so I lowered my attention down to my hands. It wasn't the big and bad response that was expected of me. But like I said, I was already in a sour mood. My fingers were wrapped around one another as if to hold back the trembles that wanted to race down them. I swallowed to push my words back down. The longer that I stayed beneath his gaze, the higher that my stomach floated into my chest. Pushing heat between my ribs so that it threatened to explode across my face. I eventually found the courage to rise my eyes back to his and when I did, his Adam's apple bobbed.

His frown then set, and he stepped closer. "Helga . . ."

He trailed off, like he didn't know how to approach what he wanted to say.

It made me frown.

But then his eyes went over my shoulder and I followed his gaze.

And I heaved a small sigh when I saw his friends heading around the corner. Right. Of course. No wonder he had stopped himself; any longer and they would see him with me. They wouldn't get the wrong idea, but they would question why it looked like he wanted to talk to me. And Arnold cared about what people thought. It made sense that he wouldn't want to be seen with me.

So I left before he could attempt anything else.

And sat on the sidelines during Gym.

Ainsley attempted to approach me several times, but every time, I would shut her down before she could get her question out.

"How abo—"

"No."

"Yo Pataki, I—"

"No."

"I can get yo—"

"Still a no, Ainsley."

It was infuriating. And every time I shot her down, she would swing around to bark out more and more orders at the students on the court. I could feel them sneaking sour glances at me, but by the time the bell rung, I was out the door before anyone could say anything.

Which left me here.

On the roof, finally attempting to—

"Helga, what are you doing?"

My fingers pulled out the item I had been searching for in my bag, but when I pulled it out to reveal that it was my water bottle, I groaned, and chucked the thing over my shoulder. Criminy. How could it be so hard to find a pair of stupid—

Oh.

There they were.

Pulling the item out, I let the bag crumble at my feet as I brandished the pair of high heels above my head. The sun burned bright behind my hand, making my shadow stretch across Nel's face. She watched with confusion from her spot on the bench.

She looked ready to ask when I quickly bent to slip off my shoes and socks. Nel wrinkled her nose at the sight of my feet, but I ignored her like I always did as I replaced my shoes with the red heels. They were cute, I'll admit. Cute but impractical. I had never been so grateful to have Olga as a sister. I didn't wear stuff like this. I was still wearing the worn old converses I'd had since I was thirteen. She, on the other hand, had a thing for shoes. Cute but painful shoes. And these were a snug fit that dug into the back of my ankle. But hey, that was what I needed. Well, in theory that is.

I wobbled when I stood, throwing my hands out to balance myself. Nel didn't say anything but watched in growing concern. I was thankful for her silence. I was aware of how ridiculous I looked. I didn't need that coming from someone else outside of my head.

Thankfully, there was no mirror in sight. I couldn't imagine how awfully these traffic light red pumps clashed with the dark crimson that was our uniform. Not to mention I hadn't shaved my legs in a while.

Clearing my throat, I rose my nose and pushed back my shoulders. Re–counted the steps that the article had listed. I mentally counted a few seconds before sliding my foot forward and taking a wobbly step. I waited four more seconds before taking another, and then another.

I grinned.

"Helga," Nel tried again. "What are you doing?"

I was sure that I resembled Bambi taking his first few steps, but I was trying to focus on my triumph of not falling over this time. Shakily, I began pacing up and down to get the hang of this thing, while Nel followed my actions with a turn of her head.

"Tryna get used to heels," I told her when I had made my third lap.

Her confusion shifted into defeat. She sighed, extra loud, and raised a paw to her face.

I made a face. Grump.

Then, positioning myself, I released a, "KYAH!" and kicked the air—

Thunk!

—and fell straight onto my ass.

Oh, criminy.

Nel didn't look up to see if I was okay. She just kept her paw shielding her face and turned away.

What great moral support she was.

Grumbling to myself, I shakily climbed back to my feet when—

"What on earth are you doing, Helga?"

I thought it was Nel at first. And I went to bark at her that I had gotten her the first time, when, looking at her, I noticed that her wide eyes were darting to the door behind me. I realised that no, that had not fucking been her. Nel scrambled and stuffed herself into my bag and out of sight. I wheeled around to a pair of confused eyes.

Lila.

She opened her mouth, but my fast actions threw off my balance and I toppled over. My nose smacked the ground and I released a loud, "Ack!" as a hot, throbbing covered the front of my face.

Criminy, could I not go an hour without hurting myself?

Two hands wrapped around my arms to pull me up. Which I know I should have been thankful for. But come on, give me a break. I had just made a fool of myself in front of the most elegant girl in school, the rival for Arnold's affections. So I snarled and snatched my hands back.

"Lila, what are you doing here?"

She paused at my harshness but answered.

"Well, I wanted to speak with you about the project, but I . . . sorry, but what were you doing?"

My heart suddenly slammed into my chest.

"N–Nothing!" My voice broke and it made Lila blink. "W–What makes y–y–you think that I was doing s–something?!"

And for extra emphasis, I threw around my arms, since I couldn't actually pace at this current moment.

Her gaze went to my shoes then to the article I had left out on the bench. It was next to my bag so my heart hurtled into my throat when her eyes glazed over the stupid cat curled up and hidden there.

Lila turned back to me. "Are you attempting to walk in heels?"

It shouldn't have, but it did.

It made me fly into absolute panic mode.

"W–WHAT ON EARTH WOULD GIVE YOU THAT—" my arms were flying around like windmills at this point. So was it a surprise that it made me lose my balance? Lila's expression stayed the same as I staggered backwards then collapsed onto my back. "—idea."

The sun filled my vision, blinding me, until she stepped closer. Her shadow fell over my face and I was reluctantly forced to meet her gaze. She cocked a brow even higher. It was absolutely mortifying for her to be standing over me, staring at me like I was her child that she was waiting to confess to eating all the chocolates.

My face burned bright. Perhaps I should take another approach.

"Okay fine," I admitted with a sigh. "I was trying to learn to walk in them. BUT ONLY BECAUSE OF . . . because of—" Crap. Why was my brain freezing? "—well, NOT FOR THE REASONS YOU'RE THINKING OF!"

There, I thought with a mental little nod. That'll show her.

Lila, in turn, rolled her eyes.

I balked at the action. She rolled her eyes at me.

She then ducked to help me back to my feet. But I was still feeling bruised and bitter that she had caught me looking so stupid. I batted her hands away and forced myself to stand back on my shaking feet.

She didn't appear offended that I hadn't accepted her help. She crossed her arms and scrutinised me. Irritation rose in me as her eyes went across my face. Who was she to march onto my roof and interrogate me?

"Really?" was what she went with.

It made my irritation grow until the heat had covered my face. I wanted to tell her to buzz off and mind her business. But it would look too defensive which would lead to even more questions.

"It must be an ever so urgent reason, Helga, as learning to walk in heels can be quite bothersome."

The anger in me threatened to burst. I did not care for Lila's opinions and the more that she spoke, the more that I found my concern for her suspicions were disappearing.

"Well, why don't you just mind your own—wait, bothersome?" I blinked. "Really?"

She nodded.

"Wait." I slowly rose finger to point at her. "You can find something bothersome—I mean, hard?"

Again, she nodded.

I was sure that I shouldn't be feeling as gleeful as I was, when I learnt that information. But could you blame me? Lila was one of those people who seemed to get everything right the first time that she tried. To learn that she still found it difficult to move around in heels was, for the moment, incredibly gratifying.

"But you're . . ." I paused, replaying the words in my head. "You're Lila! You're, like, the most graceful person to ever!"

Yeah, nice Helga. Real subtle.

And of course, she burst out laughing. Just the thing I needed right now.

"Why, thank you, Helga," she said eventually when she had settled. She was wiping away some tears as her grin twitched, like she wanted to keep going. "But being graceful whilst in flats is ever so different from being so in heels. It is only on the rarest of occasions that I adorn them."

"Oh," I said and looked down. Part of me still didn't believe it. "Well, what's the longest you've worn them for?"

"Mm," she looked up in contemplation and tapped her chin. "A couple of hours I presume. But I was sure to take them off when I was sitting and my feet were hidden beneath the table cloth."

Now that answer should have made me laugh. Crack a smile. Even made the breath in my mouth move a different way. Because Lila, having somewhat of a flaw, was admittedly funny. But if she, the most graceful person I knew, was telling me that she couldn't wear heels for long, then what hope could I have? I already had blisters. I was always falling over more times than I could count. And I was showing no signs of getting any better.

"Helga?"

I turned away.

I knew that whatever I was feeling, was showing in my eyes. I didn't know if I was getting worse at lying, or if I was too tired to keep the effort up. But I didn't need Lila further poking her nose someplace where it wasn't wanted.

"So, uh," I swallowed. "You wouldn't recommend running in them, then?"

"Heaven's no!" she stepped forward. "Heels are already bad for one's feet if they're worn too long, let alone if it includes strenuous activities. They can have nasty effects on other bones in your body."

I looked at her. "How?"

"Well, it shifts your weight to the balls in your feet. So your knees and hips have to move forward and your back hyperextends backwards," she explained then wrinkled her nose. "Essentially, it can get really dangerous over time."

Huh.

"Oh," was all I could muster. Because truthfully, I wasn't too worried about my future anymore.

A line appeared between her brows.

"Why are you suddenly so curious about heels, Helga?"

"Um . . ."

She stared at me like she expected the truth to pop out of me if she made me uncomfortable enough. Which she was, by the way. Making me uncomfortable, that is. She continued though. Her eyes scattered across my face, taking in my red cheeks, and a slow grin spread across her face. I didn't know what had occurred to her but I knew that I didn't like it.

Smugly, she smiled.

"Is it for a certain someone?"

. . . What.

My brows snapped together and I tried to understand just where her brain was and how it had gotten there. She waggled her eyebrows in return. It flushed me with annoyance. What was she on about? What certain someone—

Oh.

My stomach dropped as his face suddenly filled my mind, that small, overly sweet smile on his face.

"No."

"Really?" Lila grinned, not taking the hint that I did not want to talk about this. About him. Not with her. "Not even a certain golden–haired boy who stands about yay high—"

"Was there a reason why you're up here?"

I could barely keep my voice even at this point. I hated nosey people and even more than that, I hated when things were made to involve him. His eyes were a light that rolled across my face and made my knees buckle. Something rose in my throat and a sensation filled me as if needles were puncturing my skin

"Oh, right," she dropped her gaze then offered me a smile. "Well, yes—it was about meeting up for our assignment. How does this afternoon sound?"

"Sorry, I'm busy."

Now, this girl, she had just brought up the boy that I loved. Basically rubbed it in my face how ridiculous it was that I wanted to impress him—even though this had nothing to do with him. She had his love locked between her fingers and she wasn't letting it go. And even if she did, there was no guarantee that I could ever hold it.

And yet, when disappointment crossed her face, I felt guilty. It was strange, feeling something that wasn't spiteful towards the girl. But we were partners and we really needed to start this assignment.

So, I relented.

"I can do tomorrow," I told her. So long as there weren't any attacks, of course.

She raised her eyebrows. "Honestly?"

"Obviously," I crossed my arms. Choosing to not be offended that my participation surprised her. "We have to start at some point, right?"

"Of course!" She clapped her hands together in success. "Thank goodness. The school will be shut as it's the weekend, so would you mind meeting me at the public library?"

"Sure," I nodded. "What time did you wanna start?"

She tapped her chin then snapped her fingers.

"If we get an early start, we get an early finish. So, how about 9:30?"

I wanted to cry. That was so early.

But we really did need to get this thing done.

"Okay."

"Yes! Thank you, Helga! You won't regret it, promise!" she spun on her heel with a wave and practically skipped towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

She couldn't see it, but I returned the wave. I didn't know why I did. I didn't even know that I was doing it, until the door had swung shut behind her and Nel had crawled out of my bag. Her eyes lingered on my hand, which I hastily dropped, then she stared at the doors with an unsettled look.

"What's with you?"

She didn't answer at first. She kept watching the door like she was trying to make sense of something, before finally shaking her head.

"Nothing, Helga," she said. "Do you think you can manage so early in the morning?"

Truthfully, I wasn't sure.

I had been getting up earlier in the mornings and getting to sleep a lot later in the nights. If I got to sleep at all, that is. And that wasn't including the hours of school and the times that there were attacks. Between it all, it was getting harder to heave myself all around the place. I had cut a deal with Nel that I would catch up on my sleep this weekend. I needed to be on my A–game and I couldn't do that when I was so tired from everything.

But now, I had to meet Lila across the city so early in the morning. My Sunday was still open, but things were becoming less predictable. You couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't be woken up at some point in the night, or that there wouldn't be multiple attacks throughout the day. Not enough had happened for us to have data to work with. They were basically telling us to jump and we were stuck asking them how high.

"If there aren't any attacks, then hopefully," I admitted with a shrug.

And when Nel looked at me, I knew that she disagreed with me. There was a soft press between her eyes like she wanted to say something. But for whatever reason, she didn't. She stayed silent.

I looked down at my heels.

Whatever. I'm sure that it would work out.

—I ducked away from the claws that slunk into the ground I had been lying in seconds ago. Rolled to my feet, fingers twitching to summon my knife. The Mutant pressed on. Right, left. I dodged and avoided, but my lungs were burning. Prickles hurtled down my arm. Swivelling to the side, I yanked my knife when it shot for me and turned around as the Mutant thrust its claws at me.

I clamped my eyes shut and jerked my knife up. It sunk somewhere into its flesh and my hearing turned into the creature's wailing. Stomach heaving, bile bubbled up from my throat, and my eyes popped back open.

Its menacing stare burned back, when—

"Blue Jay, look out—"

Pain erupted from the back of my head. Stars shot across my vision as my eyes rolled back, and I fell back into darkness—

"We're sure gonna miss ya, Olga," Bob declared later that night. He had his arms wrapped around Olga's shoulders. She had her chin on his shoulder as she gave yet another dazzling smile to Miriam, who watched with sad eyes. "It won't be the same without ya."

And for the twentieth time since getting back, I rolled my eyes. Chin in hand, I watched as Bob and Miriam bid Olga goodbye as she left to return back to college. She had her suitcases waiting by the open door and the car outside was waiting her. From the way they were all carrying on, you would think that she was leaving for the next five years.

My hair was piled at the top of my head in a messy bun to cover the bump. There was still a pounding from my peripherals which painfully flared every time that I blinked. Miriam sniffed, and I gritted my teeth. I normally had no patience for this bullshit anyway, but now that I was injured and exhausted, I was livid at having to participate in it.

"A–Aaare you s–sure you don't wanna s–stay for another week, honey?" Miriam asked and clasped her hands together.

Again, I rolled my eyes. Yeah no, Olga couldn't stay here any longer. She had already been here nearly two weeks. Anymore and her attendance would fall too low to count towards a pass. I still wasn't sure what it was that had pushed her to staying back here in the first place, but whatever it was, she was gonna have to put on her big girl pants on and deal with it.

Olga separated herself from Bob to put her hands on Miriam's shoulders. She had a smile brighter then what you would catch on a toothpaste commercial. Despite the pain I was already in, looking at it made me want to hurl.

"Oh, it's fine, mum. I have to leave. Otherwise, college won't accept if I take any more time off."

See?

And as expected, Olga's smile had Miriam melting like butter.

"Such a mature thing," she cooed. "So sensible and selfless."

I held my breath behind pursed lips. Olga took Miriam into her arms and as Bob watched them hug, he looked different. He almost looked like a man who loved his wife, and this almost looked like a family. It made something spasm in my chest. The pain that flared was familiar. The kind that I had gotten so used to that it had turned to rust. I suddenly became afraid to suck in another breath because I knew that with it, that rust would flow back into something that I couldn't stand against. Something that I couldn't ignore. My jaw tightened. This always happened whenever Olga was in the room—I ceased to exist.

I stood to leave when Olga caught my movements over Miriam's shoulders.

"Aren't you going to bid me goodbye, Helga?"

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

She gently pulled herself from Miriam's arms and held out her hands for me. I wanted to heave at the idea. Needless to say, I'd rather hug a cactus plant over her. And I swear, if she didn't wipe that stupid smile off her face . . .

"Actually I—"

"Helga!" Bob whipped around to glare at me. "Get over here and hug your sister!"

Of course. He got my name right when it concerned defending his favourite.

But admittedly, I was too tired to argue right now.

Olga's expression practically sparkled as I slowly climbed back down the stairs. The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight beneath the gazes that Miriam and Bob were sending me. I grimaced when Olga held her arms out wider. Every second that I looked at her fuelled the irritation sitting in my chest.

I ducked beneath her expecting arms to pat on her on the back. I muttered a simple, "Seeya," before turning back around. I caught the shock that rippled across their faces, their jaws each dropping low. Laughter crawled up my neck and I clamped my lips shut to hold it back. I was marching back up the stairs before anyone could say anything to me. It wasn't until I made it halfway that Olga was able to finally form a response.

"I–Is that all you're going to say to me?"

Call me a bitch, but her shock at something not going exactly her way sent a victorious glow shooting through me. It wasn't much, but it gave me the smallest sense of triumph. I couldn't hold back the smile that spread across my face as I added over my shoulder, "Have a nice trip."

Which, given how perfect she was, I'm sure that she would.

"You come back here, little lady!" Bob barked angrily. "And wish your sister a proper goodbye!"

I ignored him.

"Helga? HELGA!"

And slammed my door shut.

Nel gave a start. She had been nesting on a pile of clothes on the floor. I narrowed my eyes at that—I had told her to stay away from my stuff.

"Helga," she said. "What was that abou—"

I cut her off.

"We need to talk."

My dreams didn't give me rest either.

I stood in the middle of a meadow. The grass whispered against my skin and trees circled around with their twisted roots. Stars stretched into comet tails, swirling around me, and the moon sparkled from a dark sky.

I wasn't alone.

I spun around, searching for a body of any sort. I couldn't find anyone. I could feel a presence though; it was warm, comforting even. Our hearts were racing in time with one another.

"Are you ready for it?"

I whirled around, but I was still alone. Somehow, I knew the voice and yet, I didn't.

"What?" my voice spun.

"Are you ready for it?"

I jumped when a hand searched for mine. And grasped it. Their fingers were cold, but a sense of calmness washed over me. The mood was a dull heat that rose beneath my skin. Blue eyes were suddenly crashing into mine.

Thunder rolled past me.

"Let the games begin."

I jolted awake to a ringing.

It blared in my ears like someone screaming in my face.

Moaning, I shoved the pillow away and hissed when the sunlight through the blinds hit my eyes. Hair slipped around my face, curling across my neck. There was a distinct lack of pain filtering from the back of my head. But still, despite that, I rubbed my fingers in the place where I had been knocked.

I then rubbed my knuckles into my eyes and let out a long yawn. Turning in the direction of the ringing, I realised that it was coming from my phone, which I had buried beneath my pillow. From the back of my throat, I let out the loudest groan that I could muster. Who the fuck was calling me so early?

But because I was a kind and forgiving person, I accepted the call.

"Hello—"

"HELGA!"

The voice jammed right into my ear and I jolted up in surprise. My hand was meant to grip my mattress but caught air instead, so I lost my balance and tumbled out of bed. The ground rose up to crack against my face, pummelling into my poor cheek.

Criminy. So much for sleeping off my injuries.

I hung like that for a moment, half my body over the edge of my bed with my face pressed against my floor. Until eventually the dizzying had stopped and I pushed myself up onto my elbows.

I rubbed my cheek and brought the phone back to my ear. "Lila, you—"

"Where are you?"

I paused, then narrowed my eyes. "Well, I was sleeping."

There was a pause on her end. Then—

". . . don't tell me you slept in, Helga."

I made a face. Oh, just who did this little redhead think she was?

"Excuse me? Look, Lila, I'll tell you whatever I please and I—wait, what, slept in?" I glanced at my phone screen, which read 10:08am.

Oh, Jesus.

Rubbing my eyes, I could feel the irritation already simmering. Last night had been a rare time that I could actually afford to sleep. An even rarer occasion that I could sleep in. I still had another few hours before I had to be up which, thanks to my plans to relax being interrupted by a Mutant yesterday, I had planned on taking full advantage of.

"There better be a good reason why you woke me up so earl—"

"We're supposed to be studying for our biology assignment."

I opened my eyes which I hadn't even noticed were shut. "Assignment?"

"Yes, Helga," she said slowly. "If you'll remember, we were handed an assignment on Thursday . . . that is due on Monday."

Oh, well, yes, please Lila! Use that patronising tone. That'll put me in a good mood!

But then I heard what she had actually said. And groaned. Oh, crap. I had completely forgotten about that stupid assignment. I had actually gone to sleep last night thinking that, for once, I could relax.

But no, of course not. I was mistaken. Oh, what fun this all was.

I made a face. I really, really didn't want to go. I was still super tired and who knows when my next day off would be.

But . . .

I had made a promise—a stupid promise, but a promise, nonetheless.

"Alright, I'll be there in twenty."

That apparently wasn't good enough for her.

"I mean, it seems pretty packed already and I'm not sure how long I'll be able to hold a—"

I hung up.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I chucked the phone over my shoulder. I felt rather than heard the soft thunk as it landed in another pile of crumbled clothes. The senses surged down my spine and curled from behind my ears. I shook my face. For how impressive Guardian senses could be, it also made it hard to hone your focus, as it seemed any movement that happened over your shoulder was as loud as a shotgun right against your ear.

Pushing against the ground, I heaved myself back onto my bed and looked around. But I couldn't find Nel. Which was weird since Nel had been making herself quite at home, sleeping either curled by my side or sometimes even snatching my spare pillow. I got out of bed to look beneath the bed, but still couldn't find her. I scanned the room for the stupid cat but wherever I looked, I couldn't find her.

My mind immediately took me to pitchforks and fire. Fuck. Had she been found out? Had Bob discovered the cat—a breed of animal he despised—and flung her out onto the streets? And like a dumbass, she had screamed at him, thus revealing that she could, in fact, talk? So now she was running for her life down the streets as the neighbourhood chased her with their flames and fury?

Then, I realised how dumb that was.

Nel was annoying, but she was independent. She knew when to speak and when not to (in front of other people anyway. She said whatever she liked when it was concerning me). She probably had just gotten up early and went out to scout for things. I had done that plenty of times (ignoring, of course, that this was a cat that we were talking about and those creatures loved sleeping for ridiculous amounts of times).

Yawning, I stretched my arms above my head. Silence surrounded me, which I soaked up. It was becoming a rare event to have time to myself anymore. It always involved talking cats and scary Mutants. I knew that this wouldn't last long but it was still nice to experience it again.

Raking my fingers through my tangled hair, I stumbled to my vanity and peered into my reflection. I grimaced at what stared back at me.

"Ugh. Criminy."

It wasn't long before I was standing beneath the library. A great monolith of concrete and glass. It was one of those buildings that liked to make a grand show of being more important than what it actually was. The staircase would have you thinking that you were entering a grand landmark that had been built three–hundred years ago. And despite this grandiose display of importance, there were still messy scrawls of graffiti. I couldn't read the derogatory, but I knew that it had been there for a while. No one bothered tidying it up anymore since jackasses kept coming back to spray over the fresh paint.

The sun was hitting the windows in a way where it rebounded from the grass straight into my eye. I held a hand to shield my face.

Ugh.

"Would much rather be fighting a Mutant right now," I muttered to myself. At least then, I could leave relatively quickly. Who knew how long it was needed that I stay here?

"You very well may get your wish."

The voice made me squeak which was awkward because I was still in public. People were lingering at the stop lights, along the streets and outside the doors. All turned to glance at me strangely and I blushed. Yeah, great one, Pataki.

Still, I thought, lowering my gaze to where the voice had come from. My messenger bag. I scrunched my face then pulled open the flap.

What the . . .

"Nel!" I hissed under my breath, then quickly zoomed to the bushes at the edge of the stairs. Some people made surprised noises and jumped out of my way, but I didn't look up until I was safely tucked away from their sight.

Now, let me get this straight: I was not pleased to see Nel. Sure, I had a mild panic that she had gotten her dumb ass thrown out this morning. But now, she had managed to sneak her way into my bag and made me look like a fool. I hated looking like a fool. And screaming at nothing then conversing with messenger bags while sitting in the bushes constituted as looking like a fool.

"What're you doing here?" I demanded in a hushed voice. I looked over my shoulder but thankfully, most people weren't looking over at the teenager crouched in the bushes, talking to her cat. But unfortunately, the people who did, caught my eye then ducked their faces to speed away.

I released a scoff then turned my glare down to the cat.

"I've been getting odd vibes from this place lately," Nel answered, eyeing the library.

I rose my eyebrows. "What, you mean a Mutant?"

"Worse," she looked at me with a grimace. "A Wraith."

. . . Oh.

Oh.

'They are unlike regular Mutants in that they disguise themselves perfectly reminiscent of humans. Unlike Mutants, Wraiths do not outright attack their victims, they feed off their happiness.'

Shit.

"You're kidding."

"I do not kid, Helga."

I snorted. "You're telling me."

Her ears twitched, but she continued.

"I think this Wraith in particular is plotting to use this library to harvest the energy from people, so I'm to investigate for any peculiar behaviour," she turned back to me. "Thankfully, you were already on your way here."

And so it hadn't occurred to her to tell me that I'd be carrying her sleepy ass across town? My shoulder had been killing me.

I was about to call her out on this when something else occurred to me.

"Hey, wait, you said that it feeds off happiness," I pointed out.

She glanced at me. "Yes?"

"Well, case closed, there can't be a Wraith here," I crossed my arms with a victorious grin. She didn't respond, so I added. "Who'd be happy in a library?"

"Lots of people, Helga," she said with a defensive smile.

"There are happier places."

"Doesn't take away from the happiness of this place."

"Oh, yes," I gestured to a guy who had been passing the library. He took one look at the stairs, made a noise then spat out a fat gob of saliva that dripped down the cement. "Yes, totally happy. I can see that."

Nel made a face at that. "Humans . . ."

Bing!

Before I could say anything, there was a rattling in my back pocket. I shot Nel another look then pulled the phone out to read the message.

[Lila]: you here yet?

Rolling my eyes, I typed out a quick response.

[Helga]: Yeah. Heading in.

I shoved my phone back into my jeans then frowned at Nel.

She frowned back.

"Well, hurry up and get investigating," I said and tugged on the straps to edge her out. "I've got my own job for the day."

Nodding, she hopped out from my bag and landed near my feet.

Sighing, I rubbed my tender shoulder then shoved against the bushes to head into the library.

Oh, and Helga, Nel called. I turned back around with a questioning look. Keep your eyes peeled sharp for any suspicious behaviour.

I nodded.

Roger.

But that didn't necessarily mean I knew what I was doing.

Because for all the bravado that I had, it was still pretend. And Nel may have spent nights explaining to me what I should be looking for and what it could mean if I failed, but that didn't mean that I actually knew what I was looking for. So when I entered the building, I truly had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

So, I did what I did best—I pretended. I pulled up my hoodie and marched across the rows and rows of lined up books. I had my eyes trained on the tables where noses were buried in books and pens were scribbling across paper. It stumped me slightly. Everyone seemed normal, but I guess, that was the point. They looked exactly like everyone else. How was I supposed to work with that?

I shoved my fists into my pockets. How did Nel even know what she was looking for? And would it kill her to let me in on the secret?

The hairs on my neck suddenly straightened.

Looking up, my eyes landed on a table where five teenagers sat—three girls and two boys. One of the boys was talking to an older speckled woman, probably the librarian. Her hair was pulled tight into a bun at the top of her head and her features were so sharp that she resembled a crow.

Suddenly, one of the girls—a redhead with shaggy bangs—glanced up in my direction. I didn't exactly want to get caught staring like a weirdo, so I made to turn away when her eyes narrowed and I found myself being glared at.

My jaw dropped.

I expected for her to look away, but she didn't. Her glare became hotter. She didn't care that she had been caught—she continued to watch me. I wanted to shout at her to bugger off but that probably would've gotten me kicked out seeing as the librarian was standing right there. And I still had an assignment to start, regardless of the Wraith. So I had much higher priorities then this little weirdo who couldn't keep her eyes to herself.

A force suddenly slammed into me, knocking me into one of the bookshelves. I yelped as arms wrapped around my neck, pulling my face down to a beaming expression.

"Hey, Helga!" she said. "Glad you could finally make it."

I rolled my eyes. Lila.

"Yeah, yeah—I'm here." I shoved her away and felt my hoodie slip from my face. "Get offa me."

The librarian looked up with a nasty glare. She located us and held up a long, bony finger to her thin lips.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lila grimaced and sent her an apologetic look. I rolled my eyes again, but it seemed to satisfy the librarian. She turned back to the boy she had been answering and the redhead girl finally looked down. But I didn't miss the way that her eyes lingered on Lila.

I narrowed my eyes. What was her problem?

"We were growing ever so distraught about you," Lila whispered, turning back to me.

I was surprised with how bright–eyed and energetic she appeared. Considering she was, you know, talking to me and all. Not to mention, the last time I had spoken to her, she had seemed annoyed that I had forgotten about our plans.

She, of course, looked fantastic today.

Her hair was pulled from her face into a braid that ran down her shoulder like a fiery rope. She had a thick, woollen cardigan that was much too big for her and a flowery teal dress with a Peter Pan collar.

I looked down at my stained and old hoodie in comparison. Something curled in my chest at the complete lack of care I had thrown in today. Not that I placed much care into my clothes to begin with. But I hadn't gotten the time to shower, so I had to quickly brush my hair, put on deodorant and pick out whatever was available to me. I had stuffed on a pair of baggy jeans and a big shirt that still had a ketchup stain on it. I wasn't exactly runway material but standing next to Lila only made me feel more hideous.

"Sorry about that, Lila," I admitted in a somewhat surprising show of honesty. "I slept in and I—wait, we?"

She shrugged with a grin that seemed significantly less innocent, then motioned over her shoulder.

Looking in that direction, I froze in horror.

Oh, fuck.

Feeling my gaze, they both looked up with distinctly different reactions. Gerald rolled his eyes so hard that they almost locked in his skull. He was elbowed for his rudeness, so releasing a scoff, he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. And Arnold—oh, criminy—gave me a smile bright enough to make snow look dull.

Abort, abort, abort!

"I . . . you . . . the—"

"I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind, but I bumped into them looking confused over the same assignment," Lila explained, clasping her hands together. But if I didn't know any better, I would say that the shakiness in her voice was from amusement rather than guilt. "I figured four minds were better than two, right? Besides, it was getting hard to turn others down for a reserved seat when there was only one of me."

I wanted to curse at her. I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to smack her. I'd agreed to meeting up with Lila, my partner. Instead, I was handed a Wraith to look out for and now, a boy.

And I still couldn't find my voice.

"I . . . I . . . well . . ."

Oh, come on!

"Come on, Helga," she then snatched my hand and began pulling me in the direction of the table. "We've got an awful lot of studying ahead of us."

Now, here's the thing: I was a superhero. I was a Guardian. I was freaking Blue Jay. You would think that I would pull away from this girl who barely even reached my chin in height. I had torn off door handles, crushed metal and knocked Mutants back with my fists. I was more than capable of fighting back. And yet, I didn't. Because that was the thing about Arnold: he made me weak. He made me forget and when I forgot, I just stood there, looking like an idiot.

So I was basically a puppet for Lila to play with. I didn't fight it, I couldn't. I just let her pull me along to meet my fate.

Crap.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. I hadn't mentally prepared for this—for him. How could Lila do this to me? We weren't friends (in fact, we were enemies), but still. Who knows what I'd say? What if the old Helga managed to slip out and I said something really, really mean? Not something small like 'football head', but like 'wow, you're so stupid, Arnold, even I can spell katsaridaphobia'. He would get offended and then never speak to me again. Or worse, what if he did and was like, 'Oh, yeah? Then if you're so smart, what's the negative square root of 169?' And because I don't know anything about math, I won't be able to answer and I'll look like a dumbass. And because Gerald is a whiz at that stuff, he would butt in like, 'Why, it's –13, Arnold! Only a dummy wouldn't know that!' And because I'd be so humiliated, I'd blurt out, 'I love you, Arnold!' then Lila and Gerald and the entire library would gasp in disgust and then Arnold would gasp in disgust and be like, 'I could never love someone as stupid as you, Helga Geraldine Pataki!' then leave and never talk to me again. But he would tell everyone at school and they would all point and laugh at me and then Mrs. Brown would tie me to a chair and make me go over all her textbooks and it would go on and on, to the point that Acantha could take over the world, then Serec would laugh at me, tell everyone that I have no powers, and then they would throw food at me which would include strawberries and then I would break out into hives and I would die.

Abortabortabortabortabortabort—

Lila abandoned me when we got to the table. Of course. She took the seat next to Gerald which left the only available seat between herself and . . . Arnold.

Bitch.

She totally set this up. It wasn't good enough that Arnold was in love with her, she needed to show him that I also didn't know how to math.

Arnold flashed me a smile. "Hey, Helga."

Crap. Fuck, fuck. Why was I so bad at maths? I didn't know anything.

"Erm, Helga?"

I blinked, realising that I had been staring at him. And he seemed closer than before. Why was he closer?

Oh, had he—

I glanced down.

Yep. He had.

The stupid, beautiful idiot had risen from his chair to greet me. It made something rush in my chest, hammering until my knees were shaking. His eyes connected back with mine with enough force that I wanted to collapse (be pleased to know that, despite wanting to, I did not, in fact, collapse). His gaze crept over my face and I suddenly became overly aware that I had not showered this morning. I had been so excited for that bath last night, but I was too exhausted to even bother running the water. And Lila, of course, got to me before I could even think about jumping into the shower this morning. So, I not only looked like a slob, I probably smelled like one too. And though there was still a considerable distance between us, there was no disguising like there usually would have been. If I had toothpaste on my face and Lila had neglected to inform me—because, you know, evil—he would know. He would know before I could. And then I would die.

Speaking of Lila, Arnold's behaviour seemed to amuse her. She looked at him and her eyebrows bobbed in recognition. It made me squint with suspicion. Why was she deriving so much amusement from this situation? Was this another set up?

. . . Or, Helga, maybe it was because you were still staring at him without actually answering. Crap. I probably looked like a freak. I needed to greet him and move on!

"Uhh . . ."

Never mind.

Gerald made a face and muttered something underneath his breath. Lila kept smiling but elbowed him in the ribs. He yelped, rubbing the area, but paused when he found that he was the centre of attention.

He sighed, reluctantly looking at me. "Hey, Pataki."

"Tall hair boy," I nodded curtly.

His jaw clenched.

I glared at him.

He glared back.

Arnold and Lila exchanged glances.

"Erm, if you would like to take a seat, Helga," Lila gestured to the seat. My seat. You know, next to Arnold. "We can get started on this assignment."

Arnold sent me another grin that made my cheeks burn. And with Lila in her seat, it was only us who were standing there—awkwardly. He gestured down at the seat that he had pulled out for me. I tried to ignore the fluttering in my chest. Gosh, he was such a gentleman.

But then I noticed the discarded books that had been tossed on the table.

I frowned. "Uh, why so many?"

"We didn't know where we should be starting," Arnold admitted as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "So we just kinda grabbed whatever looked like it was useful."

The face I pulled must've been pretty ugly because he chuckled when he saw it. The heat exploded in my neck, strangling me with its intensity.

I sought escape through glancing up at the clock.

10:57am.

Sighing, I collapsed in my seat.

Arnold followed my actions, sitting next to me. His sleeve brushed against my knuckles and something hiked itself into my throat.

I reached for the closest book.

"Criminy, let's just get this over with."

We didn't speak for a while after that.

Which should have been a major plus, considering the idea of talking with Gerald made me want to claw my ears off. But the silence was only making me realise how tired I still was. Fog was filling my head, until it became harder and harder to keep my eyes open. I had screwed my lips shut to hold the yawn back.

Rubbing my face again, I stared down at the sentence that I'd re–read three times now.

The yawn made it out anyway.

Lila looked up from her own page and giggled. "Tired?"

"Yeah, surprisingly." Rolling my neck, I looked to the clock and groaned. "It's only eleven–thirty."

Gross.

"You're kidding," Gerald groaned. He stretched his arms above his head until there was a crack, releasing a yawn. "Geeze, it feels like it's been hours since we've started."

"Tell me about it," Arnold said with a sigh. His nose wrinkled and he rose his hand to rub his temples. I stopped, it occurring to me how gorgeous his fingers were. Which, I know, that sounds weird, right? How could fingers be gorgeous–looking? But trust me on this one. I knew good looking fingers when I saw them. And Arnold's were magnificent. They were long and slender with beautifully shaped nails at the end.

He must have noticed my ogling because he blinked and turned to face me. And criminy, his eyes. So warm and tranquil. They were like leaves with golden sunlight filtering through them. I could feel myself drowning in his beauty.

"—okay, Helga?"

His forehead had creased. Loose strands were falling into his eyes as he tilted his face slightly. As he did, light climbed over his freckles. A thudding filled my chest. He was the prettiest sight I had ever seen. I was so dazzled that I barely even noticed that he had inched closer.

And before I was even aware, I had blurted out, "You have really pretty fingers."

. . .

Oh. My. God.

Please tell me. I did not just say that.

I was humiliated. I was traumatised. Disgraced. I couldn't believe that I had said that. To his face, let alone in front of everyone. The weight of their attention had become unbearable, I was looking around before even realising. Gerald had frozen in his seat and watched in a very, very stunned silence. I had hoped that Lila could help me out, but she looked so astonished and utterly helpless that I knew that even she couldn't butt in on this one. The pounding in my throat was so hard, that I could feel a bruise developing. Crap. How bad was it when even Lila couldn't poke her nose into something?

My stomach sunk so deep that I'd have to shit it out. People were going to remember this day for the rest of my life. They were going to whisper it even as I ate my mush in the nursing home. They were going to bring it up when laying a rose down on my grave. They were going to make songs about it to pass onto different generations. I was beyond fucked.

That's it—I had to leave. Before Arnold could tell the world. I had to leave Hillwood. I would dye my hair, change my name and start off somewhere new. I remembered my aunt's address, I'm sure she wouldn't mind taking me in.

I was mentally already packing up to bolt when, turning back in Arnold's direction, I caught a glimmer in his eye that I couldn't distinguish.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod—this was it. He was going to call me a creep. He was going to curse my bloodline. He was going to run out of the library, yelling about the freaky weirdo who apparently had a thing for fingers. And hands. And arms. And his eyes. This was it. Goodbye, cruel world!

"Why thank you, Helga," he said instead.

It stumped me. Thank you. Thank. You. Was that code for something? And was he actually smiling at me for . . . being a creep? I could only stare at him like an idiot (which was how I always stared at him, so he probably thought that this was my permanent face). Seriously on the brink of hyperventilating. Was he seriously thanking me for staring at his fingers? Was the bar that low when it concerned me?

There was no way to interpret his response as a compliment. So, I did what any girl would do in that situation: I turned away from him and acted like nothing had ever happened. Because if there was one thing I was good at, it was lying.

"Whatever." Was my grand, epic dialogue. Riveting, I know. And aside from the intense heat in my cheeks, I'm sure I would've gotten away with it. You know, if it wasn't for that meddling Lila, who thought this was downright hilarious. She had her fingers pressed into her mouth to keep back her laughter, but some sounds managed to escape. And when I turned to her, her face was pink from trying to contain herself.

See what I mean? Evil. She totally enjoyed it when I made a fool of myself.

"So, how many notes have you gotten, Helga?" she asked, changing the subject.

I scowled. Oh, great. So now she decided to save me.

But, eager to switch topics, I glanced at my near empty page and groaned. "Basically nothing. You?"

She sighed. "It's the same for me, I'm afraid."

I turned to Gerald (I refused to look at Arnold again). He swallowed his surprise from before and shook his face to my silent question.

I buried my face into my palms. "We're getting nowhere with these dumb books."

"Why can't we just google the answers?" I heard Gerald ask.

"Mrs. Belmonte requested we receive our information from sources outside of the internet," Lila answered.

I looked at her in bemusement. "She doesn't have to know if we get our resources from the internet."

Lila—the goody two shoes—looked positively offended that I even suggested that we break—or bend, depending on who you ask—the rules.

Clearing his throat, Arnold decided to step in. "She'll be checking them thoroughly."

I wanted to shoot him a sceptic look at that, but I was still reeling from before. So, instead, I quietly snorted and looked down to my page, praying that he wouldn't continue.

But, because he's Arnold, he did anyway. "We have to list our references at the end."

And while he said that, his shadow was creeping toward my elbow. He was moving closer to give his explanation. It sent my pulse rushing until it was lodged in my throat and burning my ears. It made me want to huff. There he went again, being oblivious to his actions and the affect they had on me. I knew that if I spoke, something would happen to my voice and I would sound pathetic. And I had already made a complete idiot of myself, I didn't wish to do it again.

So, subtly, I tried inching away. Not by a lot since I knew Gerald and Lila were watching. But I moved my other elbow onto the table and made a sour face as I planted my chin in my palm. It made it seem like I was leaning away because I was annoyed at the situation, rather than trying to avoid Arnold's gorgeous, gorgeous face. Because who knew what I would've said if I had looked up to meet his gaze?

Still, I couldn't help murmuring, "At this point, we'll only get two."

He didn't say anything, but I could imagine him twisting his lips at my pessimism.

But then, the crow–faced librarian's head popped out from around the bookshelves. She had a nasty look and shushed us before disappearing back around the shelves. Arnold turned his gaze to his blank page, cheeks turning slightly pink. Gerald merely rolled his eyes.

But Lila's face lit up. "Hey, that's an idea."

We glanced at her questioningly, but she merely smiled and stood from her seat.

"I'll be back," she told us before disappearing around the corner the librarian had come from.

It made me want to cry.

Because here was the thing: did I like Lila? No. She was too nosey and too formal and too perfect for my liking. Not to mention the whole, "love of my life is in love with her and notices her" thing. Kinda took the steam outta the boat. But. For as annoying as she could be, she also meant that I wouldn't be alone with the boys.

Which I now was.

Discomfort folded over me and I shifted in my seat. The action made Arnold look up and his eyes found mine. I turned away before I could think too much about it. But I was already blushing like a sunburn. It irritated me. Come on. I was a Guardian, for Christ's sake. I could scale up walls, heal from stab wounds in hours and lift Mutants several times my size. I was literally a superhero. How was I still such a loser?

Get a hold of yourself, Pataki.

His stare had turned scrutinising and it made heat climb up my collar before exploding across my face. I tried acting like it wasn't there—his stare. I shifted my position slightly, turned my head and tapped against the table. And when that didn't work, I propped up my textbook to block his face from my view. But his eyes had always had that effect on me. It collected over my fingers like dewdrops until my head was swimming.

Finally, he cleared his throat. "So, um, Helga—"

I peered over the top of the book and flushed all over again when I encountered those gorgeous eyes. He was rubbing his neck and his stare suddenly seemed a lot shyer. I looked away to a random corner so I wouldn't get caught up in his beauty again.

Gerald groaned at the awkwardness and held his book up higher to escape the situation.

"W–Why so late?" Arnold asked.

My gaze snapped to his. "What?"

His cheeks reddened.

"You got here pretty late," he explained. "I was just wondering why . . . sleep in?"

"What's it to you, football head?"

The words were out before I had even registered them. Crap. Why did that always happen around him?

He grimaced and for a moment, I felt bad.

Gerald's eyes snapped in my direction. He looked ready to say something when Arnold shot him a look then nervously smiled at me.

"Nothing. Just curious."

Yeah. Of course.

I crossed my arms.

"If you must know, Arnoldo, then yes, I did sleep in."

Now, normally, the thought of Arnold paying this kind of attention to me would've had me psyched. I hated nosiness, but I didn't mind when it came from him, because it was easy to pretend that it meant that he cared. But right now? I was mostly annoyed. Was it that shocking to learn that sometimes, I could get caught up in my own life? That I didn't have endless amounts of time to give to people? Not even mentioning that I actually was carrying a life or death secret. Besides, what business was it of his anyway? I wasn't even his partner.

Probably is protecting Lila, my conscience whispered.

Ah. Right. Forgot about that.

"Ah," Arnold leaned in the tiniest bit. "Why's that?"

The anger was building and simmering beneath my skin. I had to fight back against the words that wanted to unleash themselves like bullets. I didn't care if he was protecting Lila, he didn't need to interrogate me when I was already here. It was an honest mistake, but I was here now. What was the big deal?

"Does it matter?" I snapped.

His face fell a little.

I expected to feel guilty but instead, the irritation stayed.

So, of course, Gerald had to make it all better by butting in.

Oh, what fun.

"I mean, considering you made Lila wait around for an hour," he began, putting down his book, "Maybe it matters a little."

Arnold glanced at him. "Gerald . . ."

I rose a brow. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Arnold looked between us then tried to deescalate the situation.

"Gerald, it doesn't matter, I was just curious. And, I mean, she came eventually, right?"

Ouch.

I knew that Arnold hadn't meant that maliciously. But the backlash still hurt like a bitch. Were the expectations really that low that my showing up actually counted as a victory? Just what did he think of me?

But I pressed on before it could show on my face.

"Right. Exactly. I showed up, didn't I?" But the way that Gerald scoffed only made me angrier. "And last time I checked, Lila was my partner. You should focus on your own. If Lila has a problem, she can address it with me rather than getting her nosey parker bodyguards to speak on her behalf."

That made Gerald's eyes flash as a muscle jumped in his jaw. It didn't bother me that he had been affected by my words. It's what I had been hoping for. To turn my words into spears that forced him to back off.

But then, Arnold looked at me and the hurt in his eyes was an arrow to my chest.

That was something that the old Helga would have said.

His lips parted as his gaze swept over my face. "Helga, I—"

"Fair enough then," Gerlad interrupted. Arnold sighed in exasperation, but I just rose an eyebrow. Leaning his jaw on his fist, Gerald peered at me. "You still haven't answered Arnold's question though."

I eyed him. "What question?"

"Why were you so late?"

His words rushed through me so fast that my mind was left spinning. Fuck. He wasn't going to let it go, was he? Was anyone? I never thought I would be in a situation like this—where I would have to be giving an explanation as to where I was. That wasn't exactly a common occurrence in my life. It was easy to sink backwards into the shadows because people didn't care to find me.

"Did it have something to do with you abandoning Phoebe?" he continued and raised a brow.

My jaw dropped. Was he serious?

Arnold tried intervening. "Gerald—"

The librarian stuck her face out around the shelves again. "Shhhhhhhh!"

Arnold blushed, dropping his gaze until she disappeared again.

There was a pulse in my wrists. It felt like someone had rubbed salt into my eyes. I averted my gaze to the books in an attempt to regain some control over myself. I could feel a lump rising in my throat, and pressed my lips together to make sure something wouldn't leave without permission.

"I didn't abandon her," I eventually said.

"You've been avoiding her."

"I've been busy."

"Bullshit."

His words were a crack of thunder. I could feel my heart rolling down to my knees as a sensation twisted in my throat. The air suddenly became fabric that had been pulled so tight that the cloth was beginning to tear. It wanted to make my heart cave until it was cracking open. The future was weighing on my shoulders and I knew that one day, eventually that weight would become too much. It would splinter my bones before breaking me completely. I needed people away from me when it happened. It was an easier task than I cared to admit since I could count on one hand how many people cared enough to hang around me. But that list always had Phoebe at the top.

"Helga," Arnold's eyebrows drew together as he stared at my hands. Even Gerald looked like something had dawned on him. "You're shakin—"

I slammed my hands flat onto the table and shot up from my chair. The boys jumped from the sudden action. My face was contorting with my anguish, but I fixed my eyes onto Gerald. Pretended like I wasn't forcing tears back.

"What goes on in my life—" I hissed. "—is none of your concern."

Gerald's surprise hardened defensively. "But what hurts her is."

He said the words, then looked surprised at them. Like he didn't realise their depth until now.

Silently, I studied him. The way that he scrunched his face as he mentally berated himself over managing to let something slip out. The way he lowered his eyes as embarrassment burned in his cheeks. He liked her. Maybe even more.

I wanted to sigh.

I had never liked Gerald. So it hurt to admit this, but his feelings were a relief. He would take care of her. He would keep her safe.

"She's been speaking with you, then?" I asked him.

"Um," he nodded. "Yeah."

I nodded, then spun on my heel to walk away.

There was some shuffling, like someone was making to follow me, but no one ever came.

Lila, who had been heading back to our table with more books, stopped when she saw me. The smile dropped from her face.

"Helga, where're yo—"

"Bathroom."

Abandon.

That had been the word he had chosen. Not protect, not left, nor avoid—abandon.

I was abandoning my best friend.

Sure, I could call it avoidance. Remind myself that I was doing this for her, but in all its naked glory, it was nothing but sanctified abandonment.

Legs hugged to my chest, I struggled to control my breathing.

I was abandoning my best friend.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why was I like this? Why did I always act like this? I blinked hard against the tears. For fuck's sake.

I was alone.

This was stupid. I knew that. Of course it was. I had decided that to keep Phoebe safe, I had to ease out of her life. I had made my mind up, over and over and over again. This was the only way forward. Something could happen to me at any moment and I didn't want her getting caught in the crossfire.

Why was it hurting like this then?

Phoebe hanging with Gerald was a good sign. Marvellous. It hurt like a bitch, but Gerald chewing me out was good. He wanted to protect her. He cared so much for her. He was still an asshole, but to her, he was kind and gentle. That was what she needed.

But, I couldn't help the burden churning in my chest. Because as good as he was for her, the more I realised that I was getting replaced.

"Helga?"

And, of course. As if things couldn't get any better. Here comes Lila.

I clamped my mouth shut.

When had she gotten here? Not that it mattered. I was out of patience.

Rubbing my face, I ignored the wetness on my cheeks and tried thinking of something else. I settled on my Monday timetable: French, World History then Algebr—

"Helga?" there was a soft knock on my stall. "I know you're in there."

I wanted to sigh. This girl couldn't take a hint, could she?

I was tempted to not say anything at all. But Lila seemed to have a track record for ignoring my boundaries. It might just be easier to get this over and done with.

"How—" I cleared my throat. Lowered my eyes to her boots poking out from beneath the door. "How'd you know?"

She chuckled, immediately knowing what I was referring to.

"It's the only stall in use."

Oh.

"Great."

She laughed, but this time, it was forced sounding.

There was a pause before she turned around, leaning back against the door.

"Arnold told me about what happened," she said in a softer voice. I shut my eyes with a quiet sigh. "I'm sorry for what Gerald said. I know he can seem harsh. He is just very protective of his fri—"

"What makes you think that I care about what stupid tall hair boy says about me?" I interrupted her. "I've never liked him, nor have I cared about what he has to say. He can keep his stupid dream team, I don't want shit to do with them."

Which was harsh. I knew that. Way harsh. It shouldn't have bothered me because I was a harsh person. And yet, with every word that I said, I could feel my heart sinking further and further into my stomach. It was like it couldn't bear the weight of my cruelty. My lungs were aching and my throat burning. It was a type of pain that I couldn't run away from, so I tried to mediate with it. Shutting my eyes and burying my face into my knees. But the hurt only became stronger and threatened to turn everything in my chest into dust.

"Helga . . ."

But I still didn't want her pity.

"If you don't mind, I have some business to finish up in here—" I cringed, but didn't take it back. "And I'd rather I be alone."

The silence came back and when it did, there was a roaring that filled my ears. I opened my eyes to Lila's stockings beneath the cubicle. Zig–zagged lines of white stacked with crimson, olive and burnt orange. It was such a hideous pattern and yet oddly comforting. It reminded me of Christmas—or, at least, how Christmas was supposed to feel.

"Okay," she finally said. She straightened from the door. "If . . . if you're sure."

I swallowed. "Positive."

"Right, I'm . . . I'm sorry to have bothered you."

She walked away and when the door swung open, a panic hit me. It was surprising, but I suddenly found myself hoping that I hadn't upset her. Which was weird, because it was Lila and Lila had always been annoying and nosey. I had never cared what she thought about me, why was I suddenly worried that she had finally begun believing what everyone else had about me? That she was sat out there, with Gerald, taking his opinion as fact. Maybe because it would confirm what they both thought—how cruel–hearted I was.

"Oh, and Helga—" Lila said, then paused. "I, um . . . I know you might think of us as nosey parkers—" she chuckled. "Which you might be right about. But the only reason we are is because . . . you hide. You hide so much and you think that we can't tell, but we know better. We can tell that whatever it is that you're going through, it's killing you inside."

What?

My eyes snapped open. How did—

The door banged shut.

Leaving me alone.

I hung there for a moment, unsure of what to think. How to feel. What had she meant by that? Could she see through me, this entire time? Was that why everyone was asking me questions? I thought I had been holding everything to my chest. But if she could tell then . . . could they see everything? Could everyone see everything? I moved a hand to my neck. The skin tinged from the memory. I still woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming of when his hands had been wrapped around me, carving bruises into my neck. If they could tell, then surely he—

"Helga?"

I wanted to groan. Are you kidding me?

"Oh," I glared at the shut door. "Go away."

She didn't respond.

Instead, Nel's face popped out from beneath the stall.

I shrieked.

"What are you doing?!" I demanded in a hushed type of yell. "I could have been busy!"

Nel had the nerve to roll her eyes at that. She crawled underneath the door to sit below me. I quickly wiped away the wetness from my face, before she pinned me with that stupid determined glare of hers.

"I've managed to pinpoint the area the Wraith is choosing to remain in."

I blinked. "Wait, really? Well, that's great! What do we do, pummel it before it can attack?"

"Not so fast, Helga," she frowned. "I still haven't located exactly who it is."

I deadpanned. "Seriously? We've been here almost a whole hour!"

Eh, closer to half an hour, but the point still stood.

She scowled.

"Forgive me, Helga, but it's been quite a spell since I've had to find a Wraith. They are quite talented at blending in with regular people."

Oh, brother. I sighed and rubbed the side of my face. This was just bad news on top of bad news. Was it too much to ask for normal problems?

My reaction—or rather, the lack of one—seemed to piss Nel off.

"Well, this would be easier if I had assistance from a certain someone," she scolded.

Now that got my attention.

"Oh?" I leaned in further with a smirk. "You need my help?"

"Assistance."

I rolled my eyes but still grinned.

"Fine, fine, whatever." Leaning back, I crossed my arms. "So, what area did you pinpoint this asshole to?"

She hesitated. "Yours."

"Now, Helga, don't do anything rash—"

I slammed my hand against the door and when it swung open, I marched back into the library. Sharp claws were digging into my shoulder as Nel struggled to hang onto me. We were back in the public so she had to switch to speaking telepathically to calm me down.

Not that I was listening.

I had often been accused of being melodramatic. And theatrical. Sometimes even, histrionic. And sure, there were times where I sometimes lost it and jumped to unreasonable conclusions. But now was not one of those times, despite what Nel was implying. No, I was completely calm and rational and collected . . . I was also running.

Why are you running?! Nel glanced at the librarians who were glaring at us. You'll get us kicked out—

I skidded to a stop.

Nel's eyes popped open and she had to dig her claws in deeper to stop herself from flying off. I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from screaming. Not that I really cared that much if I happened to scream. Or if I got chucked out. What I did care about was that nasty little hussy who was leaning over Arnold's desk.

I quickly dived behind the closest bookshelf. Nel let out a strangled cry from the movement (which I ignored). Crouching behind a well–concealed shelf, I gripped the edge to peer around and keep track of my table.

I opened my mouth to make a comment when someone cleared their throat. I looked to my left to find a nerdish–looking boy with scruffy hair and baggy jeans, scowling at me.

Nel stiffened, worried that she had been caught talking (not my fault by the way. She should have kept her trap shut). But his eyes were never leaving my face. And he didn't exactly look like he had witnessed a cat releasing expletives. He looked like he had been trying to read his lame book when a shrieking girl had interrupted him.

He made a rude gesture for me to keep quiet.

So I did the mature thing and stuck out my tongue before ignoring him, going to actually important matters.

There was a girl talking to Arnold. I recognised her. She was the girl who had been glaring at me before. And she was cute. I wanted to cry. Her hair slipped down her back like champagne and her face was done up in subtle shimmers. She was a natural beauty, the type that came to mind when you thought of the Girl Next Door.

And she was stood way too close to Arnold, practically pressing her entire weight into his shoulders. Her eyes were tracing across his face as she smiled her perfectly white teeth at him. Thankfully, he seemed oblivious to her advances. Her dress dipped down her chest, but his eyes stayed on her face as he chatted to her about something.

Unlike Gerald, who appeared very red. He was sat across from Arnold, so her cleavage was in his direct line of sight. Although, to his credit, he was doing his best to keep his eyes away from that part of her.

And Lila watched this all with a troubled expression.

"She's a Wraith."

"How on earth—" shooting the nearby boy a cautious glance, Nel lowered her voice. "Can you tell so quickly?"

"It's obvious." I narrowed my eyes when the girl giggled way too hard at something Arnold had said. He kept smiling at her, but his eyebrows furrowed in his confusion. Now, I know what you may be thinking: maybe he told her a joke. And yeah, true. Maybe, he had. But then, she lightly smacked his bicep and I knew that no, he hadn't. Nothing he said could be that funny. "Look at her hanging onto him like he's the last scoop of a triple chocolate at the Sundae Saloon while Lila and Gerald are both the rum & raisins. It's sick, I tell you."

Nel stared at me. "What?"

"And just look at how she's smiling at him—" I gasped when the girl gave Arnold's bicep a squeeze. He blinked and she scooped her hair back with a mischievous wink. "Oh, that bitch."

It then occurred to me that I should be checking on that nerdy boy. But when I did, I found him looking at me like I had wrapped a tutu around my head and started singing American Idiot. He thought I was a freak.

I flushed then turned back to Arnold's table.

Neither Nel or I said anything until we were certain that the boy had turned back to his boring book.

"Anyway, everyone around her is totally acting bizarre," I pointed out in a whisper. "She's obviously bad news. Let's go."

But a sharp pain lanced my shoulder before I could charge forward. I halted in my steps and Nel looked up from where she had been digging her claws into my skin.

"Are you sure you're not letting your feelings cloud your judgement, Helga?"

The pain was shoved to the back of my brain as a hot flush ran up my neck.

"Wh—what feelings?" I scowled down at her. "I don't have any feelings—none. No idea what you're talking about."

She looked at me in a way where it felt like I was being pitied, before she sighed and retracted her claws. I released a breath now that the stinging had disappeared.

"For someone who guards herself so compulsively," she noted, "You sure are easy to read."

I glared at her. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Thump.

Spinning around, I gasped when the nerdy boy suddenly collapsed in a tangled heap and bolted for him. Lowering to my knees, I clasped his shoulder to pull him around so he was on his back. I drew back at the circles beneath his eyes. Dark enough that they appeared like bruises. And his face . . . it almost looked skeletal. His cheeks were so hollow.

"Helga!"

Nel gestured to the tables that were ahead of us. I released a noise of alarm. Everyone was either passed out, or still reading, but with bruised eyes like the boy's.

I rose to my feet, backing up until I bumped into the bookshelf, knocking over some books.

"It's her, Nel," I said, somewhat pathetically. "It's gotta be!"

"Quiet in the library, please."

But when I spun around, it was not to that girl who had been flirting with Arnold. It was that same crow–like librarian from before. She was far closer though, so I could see how almost purple her skin looked.

She held a long finger to her lips and let out a slow and steady, "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

And from her lips poured out black smoke. It curled, rolling down to her feet, then wrapping around her body. The air settled onto my skin like ice yet sweat soaked my arms. I covered my mouth and Nel copied my movements when the smoke suddenly clogged my throat.

When it dissipated, the librarian transformed into a hideous looking . . . thing. Its skin was mostly scarred tissue as its forehead seemed to fold over its eyes. The body was knotted and twisted and its shoulders pushed forward over its knees. Thin purple lips pulled back to reveal yellow sharp teeth as it released a snarl.

My jaw dropped.

"Ohhhh . . ." I faintly nodded. "That, um . . . that makes sense."

Nel turned to me in exasperation. "I told you that your feelings were clouding your judgement!"

I frowned. "What feelings—WHOA!"

Swooping to the side, I barely managed to avoid the claws that the Wraith sprang at me with. I spun on my heel and sprinted down the aisle, keenly aware of the footsteps following me.

Nel dug her claws in to stop herself from falling. "Helga, what're you doing?! Transform—transform right now!"

"I would love to Nel!" I glanced over my shoulder to see the Wraith jumping onto the bookshelf. It didn't fall. Instead, it took the position of an almost elongated frog—how do you like that for irony—and began crawling along the shelves. It turned into a blur and I had to take a sharp turn to avoid it. "Only I left my pin in my bag at the table!"

Nel's eyes almost popped from her skull. "You simpleto—"

Annnnd I fell.

Which you would think would be bad. But it turned out to be at the perfect time, because right when I fell, the Wraith pounced from the shelves with its claws stretched out. The attack sliced the air where my head had been moments ago and the creature dove over me.

I watched it land on its face, rubbing my sore nose. "Well, that was weird."

"Would you get up and get your pin?!" Nel demanded.

Offended, I frowned. "Alright, I'm going."

Getting up, I raced down the aisle. There were so many bodies still sat at the tables, either passed out, or still reading like they were in a trance. I could hear the Wraith picking itself up and struggling to get back to its feet. I released a noise and tried maintaining the distance between us.

Suddenly, I heard two voices.

"C'mon, Arnold."

"What's wrong with them?!"

My eyes lit up. Lila and Gerald!

I rounded the corner and saw that they were leaning over the table, backs to me. My heart came to a stop when I could see what had their attention. Arnold had crumbled in his chair and his face was flat against the table. While the girl had collapsed to her knees, cheek pressed against the table leg. Both were unresponsive. The sight made me almost topple over, but I tried focusing on the positive, like the four of them were at least together. And even better, I could see my bag still tucked beneath the table.

Then, in my peripheral, I spotted the Wraith swerving for them. It was crawling across the shelves, knocking the books to the ground in its haste to get there.

Nel sunk her claws into my shoulder.

"Helga!" she gasped. "By the time they see it, it'll be too late for them to outrun it!"

She was right. This Wraith was too fast.

"Gerald!" I shouted. Nel leapt from my shoulder to hide from their sight. "Move, you dummies!"

They looked up to find me gesturing at the approaching creature. Lila saw it first, then drew back with a terrified scream. Gerald, on the other hand, didn't move and stood there, gaping, as the Wraith readied itself to pounce.

The Wraith let out an inhumane snarl and leapt into the air. It shot like a rocket and the closer that it got, the clearer it became that it was aiming for Gerald. And the boy seemed to have frozen in his horror, eyes stuck on the approaching creature.

The next few moments seemed to happen in slow motion; dashing forward, I shoved out my hand until it had knocked into Gerald and Lila. The force surprised them, knocking them to the side, until they were on the ground. There was a twisting in my neck, an uncomfortable churning between the rushing blood and my pounding heart. I slowly turned my neck, looking in the Wraith's direction—

When its hand slammed into my throat and I found myself flat against the table. It was with a resounding bang! that had my skull pounding. Fingers pressed in deep, and my skin burned from the pressure. Fog filled my brain as the walls began to swim. I spluttered and clawed at its fingers, but its grip remained tight. I could feel the lack of oxygen pounding around my face. I acted on instinct, slamming my hands down onto its elbows. The grip loosened, as the Wraith was forced to bend its arms. I shot forward until—

Crack!

It howled, releasing its clutch around me. The world was still spinning, but I stretched my hand out behind me. Something familiar touched my fingers. I didn't think, I just acted. Wrapping my hand around it, I launched forward until I had knocked it into the creature's neck.

The creature drew backwards, screaming.

I caught Lila and Gerald covering their ears to block out the awful sounds. I placed a hand onto my chest, spluttering and hacking as I struggled to get air back into my body. Everything felt like it was tying itself into a knot, but I glanced up to see the blood that was pouring down the Wraith's neck. And I realised that it had been a pen that I had plunged into its flesh. The creature wrapped its hand around it but didn't remove it.

The Waith lunged in my direction, and I prepared myself for the impact, but it instead sprung above me. Landing a few feet away, it fled for the entrance then heaved its weight into the doors.

Outside, it was far brighter. I hadn't realised how dark it had gotten in here in comparison. But the Wraith disappeared as soon as the light hit its body. I had to blink to grow accustomed to the sudden brightness, but it was too late—sunshine had already inhaled its form. Sounds moved through the entrance. Music. I wondered if perhaps there was an event planned, or maybe, someone was playing their music too loud. But either way, my senses were invaded with a song.

When you call my name
It's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there

Beneath it, I could faintly hear screams and the screeching of cars as people witnessed the creature racing through the streets.

I knew that I should have been running after it. And I planned on it. But I needed to spare myself a few seconds. I felt confident that it wouldn't attack again, not with a pen sticking out of its neck.

Leaning over my knees, I inhaled long and slow. Tried to keep my head down while everything settled back into place. When my skin had cooled and the blood had settled, I raised my head to look at Lila and Gerald.

"Are you alright?" Embarrassingly, my voice came out as a hoarse croak. I slammed my lips shut as a heat burned in my cheeks.

Thankfully, Lila didn't seem to have noticed it. She was staring at the doors which had been forced open, trying to comprehend everything that had happened. I cleared my throat anyway. Gerald jumped at the sound, blinking, like he had been jerked from a vision.

"Oh, um," he stuttered then glanced at his trembling hands. "Y–Yeah . . . I think."

I pressed my lips into a line. I hated seeing Gerald like this. He was always so confident and calm, it was unsettling seeing him so out of it.

Lila snapped her gaze back to me. "H–Helga, what was—"

"Is Arnold okay?"

She blinked, like she hadn't been expecting that. Her forehead crumbled as she looked over my expression before she turned her attention to the unconscious teenagers behind her. I hadn't realised that in the struggle, they had fallen to the ground.

"Why do they look like that?" Lila asked as she crawled over them. Looking closely, I realised what she was talking about. They looked like everyone else in the library: frail, so much older than what they were with their papery skin.

"I think—" Lila pressed her fingers to Arnold's neck, then did the same to the girl. Eventually, she turned to me. "They're breathing."

"Good," I stood. "And you?"

"Um, well, I'm a little shaken, but I . . ." she looked down to her hands which she tied in her lap. She scrunched her face then shook her face, before looking back up to me. "Helga, how did you do that?"

I looked away when she asked that. I wasn't sure why. Maybe because I didn't know how to answer that. Not without making myself seem more suspicious than I already was. Maybe because I was exhausted and worn out. Maybe because I was pissed that today was supposed to be my day off and yet, I was still getting dragged into this shit. Or maybe, because I was finally growing tired of the lies. But whatever the reason, I could feel my voice curling in on itself like it wanted to hide.

Helga! Nel's voice burst in my mind. Until the Wraith is killed, it'll continue draining their energy. We have to go!

Right.

I swiped my bag from the table, swinging it onto my shoulder.

"S'nothing," I mumbled, avoiding her stare.

She stared in disbelief, then climbed to her feet.

"It certainly was not nothing—Helga, that was amazing!" she threw out her hands with a stunned sort of smile. "You managed to take it down singlehandedly! It was simply astou—where're you going?"

Pausing, I looked over my shoulder. I had been heading for the door so when I turned to her, the sunlight was pushing from behind me. I could feel the warmth diving down my spine and swelling in my hair.

"My data hasn't been working in here. I'm going to head out to call 911," I explained.

It wasn't exactly a lie. My phone had been a little slow while in here, but not bad enough to necessarily need to leave. Still, it was all I could come up with on the spot.

Lila paused, taking that in. I thought she would believe me. Not because it was a believable lie, but because the adrenaline was still so high, it was easy to accept things without thinking it through. But then, a troubled expression pushed over her face as she pressed her lips together.

Life is a mystery
Everyone must stand alone

"You risked your life for us," she noted and stepped forward. "Why? Why didn't you just run away?"

I found myself turning away again. My voice suddenly seemed like it weighed two tonnes.

I hear you call my name
And it feels like home

"It would've been easy," she continued. "You were already closer to the exit. You wouldn't have to take more then a couple of steps . . . but you turned back. You were running toward us, to help, rather than save yourself . . . Why? Why would you do that?"

I hear your voice (I hear your voice)
It's like an angel sighing (Ah)

The way that she looked at me, it was different from the other times. Where there was a falseness, a patience that was so unconditional that it felt fake. She rose her eyes to mine and it suddenly felt as if I could feel her questions stirring in my chest. And it made me realise why I didn't want to tell her another lie: I was tired. I was exhausted. I was out of my bravado. I had been holding those walls up for years, which I had been fine with. But now, the world had joined that weight to mash into my shoulders, and I was getting too tired to hold them both up simultaneously.

I have no choice
I hear your voice
Feels like flying

So, when I answered her, I knew that it was with the truth.

"It was the right thing to do."

When you call my name
It's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there

I said it to her like she had been asking me whether the sky was blue. Because I didn't have anything else to tell her. It was as simple as that. And yet, it seemed to take her by surprise. I could see her lips parting as the line between her brows disappeared. There was a small pause, as she dissected my answer. But before she could say something else, I spun on my heels. I didn't know what it was that she wanted to respond with, but it didn't matter. Helga wasn't needed right now.

In the midnight hour
I can feel your power
Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you there (oh)

I didn't realise that I was running until the ground was beating beneath my feet. It rose to slam into my shoes every half second. Something rushed to pound in my ears as a breeze threaded through my hair. Strands flew past like a cape.

You know I'll take you there (Oh)
When you call my name (Call my name)
It's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees
I wanna take you there

The doors had already been thrown open, so the light crashed into my face. It sunk into my pores until a warmth was stirring beneath my skin. My eyes flew to the sky and an expression lifted my lips. For a moment, it became easy to believe I was being lifted.

In the midnight hour
I can feel your power
Just like a prayer
You know I'll take you, take you, take you

And before I passed the entrance, I heard Gerald turn to Lila—

"What the fuck just happened?!"

The blood had created a path.

Across the road, the droplets disappeared into a large canopy of trees. I should have been scared, anxious at the idea of fighting alone. I should be trembling at the thought that, once again, my life was on the line.

But honestly? I was feeling good—ready.

Clutching my pin, I turned to Nel who was perched on my shoulder.

Her eyes were on mine.

I smirked.

"Bring it on."

So, not as much action until the end here. But I figured that we, like Helga, could use a break from the ongoing action and angst. I was pleased to finally dive back into the other characters, such as Nadine and Phoebe and, of course, Arnold, Lila and Gerald. What are our thoughts on Arnold? Gerald? I hope he isn't coming across too cruelly in this chapter. He is just a fiercely loyal person and, from his perspective, Helga is avoiding people for no reason and not caring that it hurts them. I honestly think, had the roles been reversed, Helga would have confronted him in the exact same way. They're a dynamic that I really enjoy writing and am eager to keep exploring!

But anyway, while this chapter has no action, the majority of the next chapter is basically nothing but action and Helga being a badass! I'm super excited to get to it!

Badwolf123456: Thank you so much! Hopefully you liked this chapter too! And do not worry, my dear, despite how long I can take to update, I'll never forget this story!

Craving-fiction: omg yesss, the beginning was super angsty and kinda hard to write, but yeah, she's definitely evolving (however slowly) and will confront all of that stuff later! And thank you so much, honestly! This really warmed my heart!

DhamarFlowers1.5: Ahahah Estoy contigo chica Me encantan los personajes que evolucionan lentamente, pero siento que va demasiado lento. Creo que en los próximos capítulos, las cosas definitivamente empezarán y no será tan lento! ¡Especialmente cuando Helga encuentra a sus compañeros! Gracias por tus amables palabras, cariño!

Ruby Killer: Ooooh nice choices! I definitely see the I Will Survive! Thanks for answering, honey!

Songs Mentioned: Like a Prayer (Choir Version) from Deadpool & Wolverine