"Harry?" Harry's head snapped towards the source of the voice which was also the source of his endless thoughts.
There she was, sitting across from him, studying from a dozen of books all heavier than her, looking all pretty and cute with her messy bun fastened with her wand, her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and dried ink splotches on her hands and chin.
"Are you okay?" Her soft tone and concerned eyes made him spill what was already at the tip of his tongue for the last three days.
"Why aren't we together?"
CHAPTER 2: Give Us a Shot
"I'm sorry?" The words left her mouth almost like a breath. Apparently, Harry had befuddled her with his unexpected (by both parties) question.
"Why aren't we together?" Harry replied, this time more consciously than the slip-up he just did.
"I heard you, Harry. I just didn't understand. We are together?" She had managed to make the last sentence come out as a fact and a question at the same time. Confusion was written all over her face.
"No, not like this. You know… Together together. Like- like a couple." Harry could feel his face burning, he was anxious and his words were coming out more awkward than they had sounded in his head for the last three days. But he knew this was something he had to do. This was one of those moments in which you either did what your heart told you and dealt with the consequences later or let your brain take the lead and wonder about it for the rest of your life.
Harry didn't even think he had a brain at the moment.
"We- I- You… Togeth- Coup- Are you okay?" Hermione asked once again, this time a different type of concern evident in her voice.
"I think I should be the one asking that question," Harry laughed lightly. He had somehow managed to leave Hermione Granger speechless just with a question. "So?"
"So?" Hermione asked back, still puzzled. "Oh, you're really expecting an answer?" She'd done it again, asking questions while giving facts.
"Yes, please. This is all I've been thinking about for the last three days." Hearing his desperate tone must have done the trick, for Hermione put down her quill and closed the books surrounding her. A sure sign of her giving all her attention to him.
"Because we're friends. To be precise, we're best friends if I haven't misunderstood our relationship for the last eight years," she answered at last, a slight smile curving her lips upwards. She seemed amused at his question, after the initial shock had passed, that is.
"Yeah! We are best friends, why aren't we together?" Harry pressed, gaining courage from her smile.
Hermione sighed, "Because being best friends isn't enough for a relationship. We aren't that similar." She looked like she was searching for the right words to make him understand the obvious.
"Similar?" And he really wasn't understanding.
"Well, for example…" She stopped for a few seconds, trying to find some dissimilarities. "I like studying."
"Woah, Hermione! You're right, we can't be together. I didn't know this little information about you. This changes everything." He rolled his eyes, just in case his sarcastic tone wasn't enough to make her realise her example was ludicrous.
"Glad I could bring you to your senses." He loved it when she answered sarcasm with sarcasm.
"You brought me to my senses three days ago. It's my turn now." But now it was time to be direct. "I don't see why we can't be together. You know me better than anyone else. And I'd like to think I also know you quite well."
"I don't like Quidditch."
"What?" Harry was taken aback by the sudden change of topic.
"I don't like Quidditch. I told you, we're not similar." Harry could tell she was holding back. There was something else she was thinking that she didn't want him to know.
"It's okay, I'm not asking you to be my teammate," he said, watching her expressions closely, trying to catch her off-guard to understand the real reason she was being so apprehensive about them.
"Well, I'm not fun to be with. You'll get bored with me when we're alone." He knew even she wasn't believing what she was saying.
"I spend more time with you alone than anyone else, even myself. And frankly I do think your company is quite enjoyable," he paused for a moment, squinting his eyes suspiciously, "Wait, why are we always talking about you? Is the problem me? Do you think I'm boring to hang out with?"
"No!" Hermione's quick answer made Harry grin with pleasure. "I like spending time with you."
"Exactly! We're happier together." His grin got wider when she blushed slightly.
"But you see me as a sister." Harry knew she was playing her last card. After this, he'd know the real reason of her doubts.
"I don't have a sister, Hermione, but I saw Ron and Ginny and I know what I feel for you is way different than their relationship," he said as calmly as he could. He wanted Hermione to believe that he was serious and he'd thought about this before talking to her. "But if you see me as a brother, then that changes everything," he finished, afraid of the answer.
"I don't see you as a brother. I don't know what having a brother is like but this feeling can't be it. It feels wrong to think of you as a brother." Harry smiled at her words. She was being honest with him, so there was hope. She wanted to be convinced that they could make it.
"Well, then?" he asked, his voice filled with anticipation. He knew there was a reason why she thought they couldn't be together, a real reason besides all this crap she put forward. And she was about to say it.
"Harry, just because you're having fun with someone or are good friends with someone doesn't mean you should have a relationship with them. You need more than that." Her tone and slight blush made him apprehensive to ask the following question.
"What do you mean?" But he did it anyway. "What can I need more?"
Hermione sighed. He really wasn't making this easy for her. "You… I… I mean, there has to be a- a physical attraction." She wasn't looking him in the eyes and that wasn't a good thing.
"You don't find me attractive?" This time it was his turn to ask a question without really asking it. "But I thought you said I was more fanciable than ever. And that was like two years ago. I'd like to think I'm better looking now than I was at 16." He didn't know if he really wanted Hermione to say she wasn't attracted to him. No. He did know he didn't want Hermione to say such a thing but he didn't know if he was ready to hear her say that.
"I still think you're attractive, Harry." Harry's eyes, which were fixated on his hands resting on his lap, snapped to her face. She found him attractive; she thought he was handsome and sexy. Well… She may have not said it that way but he could definitely hear it in her voice. And he was sure he could see it in her eyes too, that is, if she looked at him. "But I'm not like the girls you fancy."
Oh, so that was the problem! Hermione thought she wasn't pretty enough to be his girlfriend.
That was the reason she was making him sweat with apprehension for the last ten minutes.
That was the reason she oh-so-adamantly avoided telling him.
And that was complete and utter rubbish.
"I've only fancied two girls, Hermione. I think it's too early to say I have a type." The fact that she was still avoiding his eyes started to really annoy him. How could he know what she was thinking if she didn't even look at him?!
"But you do, Harry! You're into sporty, carefree and attractive girls." Her voice got so soft at the end, he wasn't sure if she said something more after 'girls.'
He sighed as he got up from his chair. He really couldn't stand not seeing her eyes while having this conversation. If it was a few years ago, he wouldn't mind this that much but now seeing Hermione's eyes was like hearing her thoughts. They had so much emotion swirling in their chocolatey depth and he'd learnt how to read them. He went around the big mahogany table to sit next to her.
"I'm not attracted to sporty girls. It was just a coincidence that both Cho and Ginny liked Quidditch. We had nearly nothing in common other than Quidditch and believe me when I say it gets boring to talk about a sport all the time. I have Ron for that. You know him, he starts talking about Quidditch when I say good morning and stops only when I fall asleep. Come to think of it, maybe he doesn't stop, I just don't hear him while sleeping." Harry was pleased to see her chuckle at his attempt at a joke.
"And I'm certainly not attracted to carefree girls. Easy-going? Yes. Fun to be around? Absolutely. Responsible while being all these things? Yes, please." He was making her lower her walls, he could see it in her small smile. If she just looked at him, he'd know for sure what to do to make her believe him.
"You're a sweet guy, Harry," she said, wringing her hands in her lap and watching them like they were the most interesting things in the world. To be honest, they were nice hands, indeed, but Harry needed her eyes.
"Won't you look at me?" The question left his mouth in a desperate tone. He was leaning towards her to catch a glimpse of her face, he was desperate. "Please."
And there they were, looking tentatively at him. Now he was sure that she wanted- no, needed to be convinced. She was afraid. Of what, he wasn't sure for now but he was going to find out.
"Thank you," he said, smiling warmly while looking into her eyes. "And you're definitely right about me being into attractive girls." Even he was surprised by his straightforwardness, so he could definitely understand her when her eyes opened slightly and her cheeks reddened.
"You think I'm pretty?" This was the most fact-like question she'd asked all afternoon, because it was practically a fact.
"I always knew you were pretty. Now I think you're more than pretty." He wanted to say beautiful but he was afraid of scaring her. When he saw her open her mouth, he knew she was going to object. She was Hermione, she never thought herself as an attractive woman. She thought she was more about intellectuality than beauty. And she was wrong.
"Thank you but we both know I'm nothing like Cho or Ginny." He could sense the disbelief in her 'thank you'.
"Cho and I are over, Hermione. Yes, she is pretty but that's it. Our relationship was a disaster. Not that we could call it a 'relationship' to begin with. And believe me when I say I really don't know how I've seen Ginny as something more than a friend. It's really disturbing to think of her as anything other than that." He was getting frustrated; he didn't think it would take more time to persuade Hermione than it took for him to build up the courage to come to terms with his feelings.
"What do you mean 'disturbing'?" She asked, frowning slightly. His words had piqued her curiosity enough to make her forget about the main topic.
"I… I just noticed how similar she looks to my mother. It's just weird to… to think of her that way," Harry said. He loved Ginny, he really did but thinking of their brief relationship just made his stomach churn. He was really relieved that their friendship was unscathed after the break-up and they could have a sibling-like relationship with each other.
"Eww, Harry! I don't know if I can look at Ginny the same way after this." She was laughing again which meant she was getting comfortable with him again.
"Don't worry, if I can, you can too, 'Mione," he answered, laughing along with her. It was a good thing they always sat at the deep end of the library. Otherwise, they'd be kicked out already. His emerald green eyes swept over her face. She was sitting towards him now, the table supporting their elbows while they were facing each other. "So?" He asked again.
His question made her sober up too. "So," she answered again but this time it wasn't a puzzled question. He knew her answer would follow soon. "You don't find me attractive, Harry."
Harry sighed, this wasn't the answer he was hoping for. "I thought we had reached an agreement that both of us found the other one attractive." He was far beyond the point of being shy now, he just wanted her to accept that they could have a relationship if they wanted, and of course, he wanted to have that relationship.
"What I mean is… It isn't enough to find someone attractive. There should be… I don't know…" She was trying to find the right words to express her thoughts, "Sparks."
"Sparks?" He was frustrating her, he knew it but he really wasn't understanding her point of view.
"Yeah, we may not be compatible." When he opened his mouth to object, she clarified, "In a physical way."
Maybe he wasn't that far beyond the point of being shy. He could feel his cheeks getting warm but he couldn't show any weakness now. They had passed the point of no return when they said they were attracted to each other and he wasn't about to give up just because she made him blush by implying possible intimacy. And to be honest, he was pleased to notice it was an excited type of blushing. He wasn't mortified by any means.
"Well, we can't really know that unless we try," he whispered, leaning towards her. His eyes caught on the ink smears on her chin and he smiled wickedly. Maybe some seducing was necessary to persuade her. He put a hand under her chin to lift her face towards his. All the while caressing her chin slowly, almost lazily, to wipe the smear. He could sense her slight shiver under his hand. "Who knows, maybe we will be so in harmony, there'll be fireworks, let alone sparks."
"Harry…" Hermione whispered. She had leaned back, making him drop his hand.
"Hermione… Come on… Give us a shot…" He whispered back. If he wasn't really sure of her feelings, he wouldn't insist but he had seen it in her eyes. And he had given up a lot of things already, he couldn't let Hermione pass him by too.
"I'm afraid." She was looking at him again. Trying to make him understand her with her eyes. And he did. He just thought he was in the right side this time. "I'm afraid of ruining our friendship."
"What if we promise to be friends, best friends, no matter what happens?" He asked. This was a fear of him too but he had a feeling that they would work out. He just couldn't imagine himself having a falling-out with Hermione for any reason.
"Harry…" This was a different kind of 'Harry', softer, almost pleading.
"How about we try till the semester ends? Two weeks," he pleaded too. "And we can keep this between us if you want. This way no one can make a big deal if we fail."
"Don't say that." Hermione's eyes immediately found his.
Taking advantage of the situation, his hand found its way back to her chin. Holding her gaze, he leaned in again and whispered, "What?"
"Fail." She was whispering too. Considering they were in a library, this was the expected thing of them to do but the motivation behind their actions was way different than the usual. They were whispering because they were sitting so close they could almost hear each other's heartbeats. "Don't say 'if we fail', it won't be a failure. It'll just mean we're better off as friends."
Her choice of tenses made his heart speed up. Even if she was talking negatively, she was talking about the future… Their future…
"So does this mean you accept?" If he wasn't whispering, his voice would be shaking so badly.
"Ask me properly." There it was, that slight smile that had been missing for the last half an hour.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" He hadn't whispered this time but his voice wasn't that high to attract attention to them. Not that there were anyone else near where they were sitting anyways.
"For two weeks," Hermione stage whispered.
"For two weeks... for now," Harry added on purpose.
"And we won't tell anyone. Not even Ron." Her smile was bigger now, Harry could tell she was getting excited about their new status just as much as he was.
"Okay but we can't have the kind of relationship you said you wanted to have at Hogwarts if we don't act like a couple." And he surely wanted to act like a couple.
"Then we won't tell anyone but if they catch on, that's okay. Let them guess." Her grin would make the Cheshire Cat envy.
"Just say yes, 'Mione!" He would do anything she wanted at this point, just to hear that three lettered word. And it was just the beginning of their relationship, for Merlin's sake!
She laughed delightfully at his impatience, making his heart skip a beat. "Yes, alright! I'll be your girlfriend for two weeks."
"For now," he whispered as he leaned in for their first kiss.