Harry stopped her frantic action by pulling her to himself. When she turned towards him, he put his hand on her flushed cheek and dropped a kiss near her lips. Once again feeling all his senses being captivated by the sparks she oh-so-adamantly demanded that they should have a few days ago, he muttered, "Thank you."
He didn't need to specify, she already knew he was thanking her for always being there beside him. She always knew.
"You're welcome."
CHAPTER 7: Pensive Conversations and Intimate Broom Rides
Harry slowed down his steps as he approached the young woman sitting under the big oak tree. She had rested her back against its huge trunk, hugging her knees to herself. If Harry didn't know her, he would have thought that she was cold. But he was sure his best friend had some sort of a spell that kept her from freezing to death.
His suspicions were confirmed as he sat beside her, close enough to be noticed by her but not close enough to disturb her if she didn't want him there. Without a word, Hermione pulled him closer to rest her head on his shoulder. The warming spells had nothing to do with the warmness that spread over him.
Harry put his arm around her shoulders and sighed. It was a long day.
After practising all morning, they had finally had their exam after lunch. It went better than he had expected. 'Thanks to Hermione', Harry thought as he tangled his fingers through her hair. She had been silent all day. He had started to suspect that she was avoiding him as he hadn't seen her since the exam.
It was one of those days. Harry knew it. It was one of those days that she just wanted to get it over with. He had noticed it from the look in her eyes when he first saw her in the morning. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen her eyes since that first glimpse in the morning. It was one of those days and although he had missed her, he had given her the space she apparently needed. Occasionally, he had those days too, when he didn't want to talk to anyone, sometimes even see anyone... when all he wanted to do was sit by himself and think.
It was sundown. Harry's eyes got drawn to the frozen lake, expecting it to glitter with orange hues as it always did, however, this time it was dark. 'Just like the day had been.' The clouds were hiding the sun, the many colours of the afternoon sky were just one colour today, a greyish blue. Harry hugged Hermione closer to himself, no wonder she felt all gloomy. It was nearly impossible to feel good with weather like this. Or was that because Hermione didn't feel good that he felt the day was depressing?
Harry felt a shiver ran down his spine when he felt Hermione's nose on his neck. She nuzzled him before dropping a chaste kiss there.
"How was your exam?" Her voice was muffled in his neck, her warm breath making him shiver all over again.
"Good," he managed to say. Hermione was making it difficult to think with her closeness.
"That's great," she murmured as she returned to her original position with her head on his shoulder. "Sorry I didn't ask earlier."
"That's okay," Harry murmured back, kissing her hair. "How was yours?"
"Good." A habitual answer to a habitual question.
"How are you?" This also wasn't the question he wanted to ask, he knew she wasn't good but this was a start.
"Better now that you are with me." She was talking softly. If he wasn't concentrating on her voice, he could have missed it.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, not really." She took his free hand in her own hands, tracing the lines of his palm with her fingers. "There is nothing to talk about really. I just don't feel good. It's one of those days."
"Yeah…"
"I just feel like… I don't know how to explain it… like… like I'm walking with Dementors around me… like I don't know what happiness is."
Harry didn't say anything, he knew the feeling. He just let her explain it. Maybe it would make her feel better.
"But I know what it feels like… Being happy. I've felt it countless times. And I know I will feel it again. But… Sometimes, I just feel constricted, you know? Like I won't be happy again. It's suffocating."
"Yeah, I know." Harry kissed her temple, "But it passes, we both know that. We went through that feeling before."
She just nodded. Harry looked down to see her close her eyes. Her eyelashes were glistening with recent teardrops.
"We were supposed to fly today."
"It's okay." Harry would have shrugged if her head wasn't resting on his shoulder. He really didn't care about flying when she was crying on his shoulder.
"I promised you."
"It's okay, Hermione. We can do it another time." Harry rubbed her shoulder to reassure her that it really was okay. Hermione straightened and quickly wiped her eyes. So quickly as if she didn't want him to see her tear-stained cheeks.
"No, Harry. I promised you. We should do it." He was about to protest when she said, "Please." And he just raised his wand to summon his Firebolt. As Hermione turned her gaze to the castle, Harry turned his to her.
It had started snowing sometime in their conversation and the snowflakes were getting bigger and bigger with every passing minute. Harry gazed at her in fascination as the snowflakes melted just before touching her, thanks to her spellwork. Her hair was sparkling with half melted snowflakes, there were some in her eyelashes, too. Harry realised he liked the glistening on her eyelashes now that the cause of it was not her tears. Knowing she was crying when he found her broke his heart. Especially when it was because of something he had no control over.
When the broom came to a stop before them, Harry helped Hermione to her feet. As he settled in his usual place, Hermione sat behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Harry felt her bury her face in his back.
"Ready?" He asked and felt her nod her head. Harry kicked the snow-covered ground, raising a few feet. He could still feel Hermione's face buried in his cloak, her arms had tightened even more around him.
After a few minutes of flying between the snowflakes, Harry sighed and landed them. There was no need to force this. Even he couldn't enjoy flying when Hermione felt down, how could he expect her to enjoy this?
"What happened?" Hermione asked as they dismounted the broom.
"You weren't enjoying it," Harry said, taking his broom in one hand while taking her hand with the other. "It's okay. We don't have to do this."
"It wasn't as bad as I remember."
"It's okay, Hermione. You don't have to like flying," Harry reassured her. He pulled her towards him by her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, dropping a kiss on her temple.
"I just don't like feeling helpless," Hermione murmured as she buried her face in the crook of his neck, making Harry shiver all over. "But I didn't lie. This was better than when I flew alone. You made it better."
Harry smiled at her words, he knew she was sincere. She would tell him if she didn't like it.
"Let's go back to the Common Room. We can revise for DADA, maybe it will make you feel better."
"Now you're talking, Mr Potter. Studying with you has become one of my favourite hobbies."
"I know you won't believe me but it's become one of mine, too. Especially if we're alone in the library."
"Harry!" Hermione slapped his chest, her scandalised cry was mixed with laughter. Harry felt another wave of warmness burst in his chest. He didn't need any charms to feel warm when he had Hermione beside him.
Harry sighed contentedly as his eyes swept over the castle grounds. The snow had finally stopped, leaving behind a great sea of pristine whiteness. He was perched on the windowsill of the Common Room, the warmth coming from the fireplace combined with the pinkish sky that was absent yesterday afternoon made for a good day. Not to mention it was a Friday and most of their exams were over. And it was a Hogsmeade weekend tomorrow, his first ever date with Hermione. It was a nice afternoon indeed.
Harry took a sip from his hot chocolate. He hadn't seen Hermione since lunch but he knew she was feeling better. She had waited for him that morning after the DADA exam and they had a nice stroll around the lake before lunch. Hermione hadn't mentioned yesterday and he was fine with it. As long as she was good, he was good.
"Looks magical, isn't it?"
The sudden voice startled Harry. He hadn't heard her come.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Hermione sidled up to him and wrapped her arm around his middle. Harry felt a shiver ran down his spine as Hermione nuzzled the crook of his neck.
"I'm The-Man-Who-Conquered, you can't scare me," Harry huffed with mock-arrogance and grinned when he felt Hermione's smile against his skin. "Where were you?" He asked at last, taking another sip from his hot chocolate before passing the mug to Hermione.
"Oh, I was in the dormitory, finishing my studies so I can spend time with you," Hermione said before taking a sip. "Mmm… Thanks, I needed this," she murmured into the mug.
"So, does that mean you're mine for the weekend?" Harry asked in a low voice.
They were alone in the Common Room save for a few first years but he still didn't want people to catch on that there was something going on between them. That was what Hermione wanted and he respected her wishes. Although explaining her close proximity would be really difficult, if any of their friends were to see them.
"Yeah, I'm yours," Hermione whispered in his ear before dropping a kiss right below his jaw. "For the weekend," she added as Harry turned his head to look at her. He could see the mischievous glitter in her eyes.
"Witch." Harry grinned and pulled her closer to kiss her cheek. Playful Hermione was something he was getting accustomed to really quickly.
"Careful, Harry!" Hermione admonished him as she balanced the cup in her hand to prevent it from spilling.
"Sorry," Harry grinned and kissed the crook of her neck as she had done a few moments ago. "Couldn't help myself."
As they grinned at each other, Harry's eyes caught onto the object leaning against the wall.
"'Mione?" He asked, his eyes going between Hermione and his Firebolt.
"I want to try again," Hermione said as she put down the cup on the windowsill and took the broom.
"We don't have to-" Harry started but shut up at the look in her eyes.
"I know but I want to."
"I don't care if you don't like flying," Harry tried again. He honestly didn't care. Hermione put a finger on his lips, her chocolate brown eyes digging deep into his emerald ones.
"I want to try again, Harry." Harry grabbed her hand and kissed her palm.
"Okay."
Fifteen minutes and a few snowballs later, they were once again beside their tree. Harry had decided the best view was there: the castle, the lake and the forest all together. Harry let his Firebolt levitate in front of them as he reached for Hermione and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"I'm asking this for the last time-"
"I'm sure, Harry," Hermione cut him. "Just no funny business, please."
"Depends on what you define as 'funny business' but I promise I won't go fast," Harry laughed as he squeezed her one last time before releasing her to mount his broom. "Hey, where are you going?"
"Umm… Behind you?" Hermione's uncertain voice came from behind him.
"No, not again. You'll sit in the front." Harry pulled her and helped an anxious Hermione to settle in the front of the broom. He placed his arms around her to grip the broom, tucking her tightly to his front. "This time I want to be able to see you to make sure your eyes are open."
"You just want a reason to hug me, POTTEEEEAHH-" Hermione's sentence turned into a high-pitched scream as Harry chose that moment to kick the ground, getting higher and higher within seconds. "I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY! I SWEAR I'LL HURT YOU SO BAD, YOU'LL CRY FOR VOLDEMORT TO COME AND FINISH YOU!"
"I can hear you, 'Mione. No need to scream my ears off," Harry laughed, tightening his left arm to hug her closer. She had slid back to him because of the steep angle of the broom. "And open your eyes, you're missing out."
Hermione shook her head, squeezing her eyes even tighter. Harry was sure if her hands weren't gripping the handle so hard, she would cover her face with them.
"I don't think I can. Just tell me when we land."
Harry laughed at her anxious voice as he halted the broom to a slow stop. They were high enough for a nice view.
"Hermione, come on!" Harry let go off the broom to pull her even closer and buried his face in her neck. Her sweet scent intoxicated him for a moment.
"Harry?" Hermione whispered frantically. "Harry, why can I feel BOTH of your hands?" Upon hearing Harry's laugh at her question, Hermione opened her eyes to check her safety. "Harry Potter! Put your bloody hands on your bloody broom! Now!"
"That sounds dirty coming from your mouth, 'Mione." Harry grinned and squeezed her waist. When Hermione whimpered and closed her eyes once again, Harry took pity on her and whispered in her ear in what he hoped was a soothing voice, "It's okay, it won't move unless I command it. We are safe."
"Promise?" Hermione asked before cracking one eye open.
"Promise." Harry dropped a kiss to her warm cheek. Hermione's spellwork was as good as ever in keeping them warm despite the cold air. "Come on, open your eyes. You'll miss the sunset."
Harry heard Hermione sigh softly. He could feel her body relax against his, he knew she wanted to enjoy this with him but her fear was preventing her. He pressed another kiss to her cheek, just beside her ear, closing his eyes at the contact. He honestly didn't know how he could have gone this long before without having Hermione this close to him. Harry suddenly heard her sharp intake of breath and knew that she had finally opened her eyes.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
"I don't think I've ever seen something more beautiful."
Harry smiled into her neck. He could hear the sincerity in her voice.
"I have."
"Harry, please don't tell me you were looking at me when you said that," Hermione huffed. Although he couldn't see her face, he could swear that she had rolled her eyes.
"I wasn't looking at you." Harry kissed the hollow just below her ear, making her shiver and burrow deeper into his arms, before whispering, "But I meant you."
"How cliché, Mr Potter." Although her words came out unimpressed, Harry could see the telltale tug at the corner of her lips.
A few minutes passed in silence with both of them enjoying the beautiful sunset and the company of each other. The sun had half disappeared when Hermione broke the silence.
"It really is magical. I think I understand why you like flying so much."
"Yeah… This and the adrenaline of going against the wind as fast as I can." When he felt Hermione stiffen in his arms, Harry let out a chuckle, "I promised, didn't I? No funny business. We won't fly around. This is enough for me anyway."
"Really? Are you satisfied with just floating in the air? Without all those stunts?"
"Frankly, if you weren't here to snuggle with, I think I'd rather be flying like crazy right now. But I prefer this," Harry squeezed her waist to emphasise his last word.
"So you just want a reason to cuddle me, huh?" She asked with a grin.
"Oops, am I that transparent?" Harry's quick answer made Hermione laugh and snuggle even deeper into his arms.
"This is basically the same strategy as taking a girl to a horror movie."
"Would that work on you, though? After all the things we've seen…" Harry let the unsaid part of the sentence hang between them. He hadn't meant to bring this light-hearted conversation to the war but it had happened on its own. Was there even a time when the shadow of the war wasn't there to darken their days and sometimes their nights?
"We can try and see." Hermione's soft but sure voice broke through his quickly darkening thoughts.
"I've never been to the cinema before," Harry said, thankful for Hermione's change of topic.
"I guessed so and that cannot be accepted. We'll fix it as soon as we're finished with school." Her voice had that determined tone it got whenever she was planning something serious but Harry could also hear her smile. He pouted as he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"That's so far away."
"Actually, it's just a few months away. And then-"
"And then, we won't ever come back," Harry finished, it felt surreal to say that. "I'll miss here."
"Yeah, me too," Hermione whispered.
Again, they fell into a comfortable silence but this time Harry could tell something was bothering Hermione and she was looking for a way to broach the subject.
"Just say it."
It was like Harry's whisper was all she needed, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I wasn't feeling well."
"I know."
"Yeah, I know you know." Hermione exhaled a puff of air through her nose which could be described as a sad laugh, "I just… I shouldn't have projected it on you."
Harry tightened his hold on her waist as he rested his cheek on her temple.
"You didn't upset me, Hermione. I just didn't know how to cheer you up so I did what I do to cheer myself up." Harry grinned before whispering playfully, "I should have known that flying wouldn't have the same effect on you." Upon hearing the much-desired laugh from Hermione, he continued, "I should have just given you a parchment and a quill and say 'Order any book you want, they're on me.'"
"Now, Mr Potter, that's a dangerous thing to offer me."
They were once again back in their playful banter.
"Oh, I guess I found my Valentine's Day gift."
And as quick as that, they were out of it.
'Valentine's Day? Really, Potter?! You've barely convinced her to date you for two weeks and you're already talking about Valentine's Day?!'
Just as the silence was stretching long enough to be an uncomfortable one, Hermione spoke, "I should step up my game then, huh? How about a carte blanche for a broom ride?" Harry tried to stifle his grin in her curls but Hermione's snort made him lose it and he burst into a laugh. "That came out so wrong, didn't it?"
"I can't say I didn't like how it came out." Harry grinned as he tried to dodge Hermione's slap. Given their position, she only managed to nudge his chest with her shoulder.
"Prat."
For a few long seconds filled with an awkward silence, they watched the sunset. Only a sliver of the dark orange sun was seen now, a few more minutes and the sky would start to darken. Harry was about to suggest they go back when Hermione cleared her throat.
"Harry, could you help me turn around, please?"
"What?" Harry was taken aback by the question, "Turn around where?"
"I want to sit facing you. Could you please help me?"
"Okay." Harry tightened his arms around her when she started fidgeting, "Hermione, sit still for a moment. I will hold your waist and you'll swing your left leg over the broom to sit sideways, okay?"
"Okay," Hermione whispered, she sounded like she had already regretted asking this.
Harry put his left arm around her and grabbed the broom to provide her a support to hold on. Hermione clutched his arm and slowly turned to her right, bringing her left leg over the broom to sit sideways.
"Okay," Harry exhaled. "Now, you'll do the same thing to turn towards me." He let go of her waist completely to grab the broom from both of her sides, caging her between his arms.
"Harry, don't let go of me, what are you doing?!" Hermione asked in a panicked voice as soon as Harry's hand left her.
"I was just adjusting my hands to support you. Don't worry, just turn around slowly."
Hermione let out a deep breath as her hands clutched his arms. Harry was surprised to see that her eyes were open. But she wasn't looking at the ground or anywhere else really, her eyes were strictly on him, "Promise me, you'll not let me fall," she whispered as her stare captivated him.
"I promise I'll catch you," Harry heard himself say.
Hermione laughed softly despite her nervousness. She finally managed to swing her leg over the broom and sit facing him. She hugged his waist and pulled herself towards him, resting her chin on his chest, "That's not what I asked but thanks."
"Sometimes, falling can be a good thing, 'Mione." Harry finally let go of the broom to hug her again. This was even better than before. Hermione had burrowed her face in his neck, much like he had been doing to her all that time.
"You just wanted to do that, didn't you?" Harry smirked, he was enjoying her show of affection more than he thought he would.
"What? Did you expect to be the only one who is into neck kisses?" Hermione grinned into his neck. "I wouldn't think you to be that kind of a guy to be honest."
"We learn a new thing every day." Harry felt her warm nose dig into his neck and once again thanked Merlin for warming spells.
"Actually, I wanted to apologise." Hermione's murmur came a few seconds later. She had finally lifted her head from his chest to look into his eyes. Harry felt cold at her absence. "And I wanted to see your eyes to be sure that we really are okay."
"There is nothing to apologise for, Hermione," Harry said, staring into her eyes as she requested. Hermione shook her head.
"I acted like a bitch, Harry. I avoided you all day. I didn't even ask how your exam went."
"And it's completely okay. I mean it." He raised his hand to cup her cheek, smiling slightly, "You didn't act like a bitch but even if you did, it would be okay."
"Harry-"
"No, listen to me. You can't be your nice self all the time. You are human, too. Although sometimes you make me doubt it." Harry grinned when his words managed to draw a laugh from her. "I mean it 'Mione. It's okay. Please don't feel guilty for not feeling good. Just tell me. Tell me to stay away or to sit beside you without saying a single word or just talk to me... About whatever you want, whenever you want... Just please, don't you ever feel guilty about feeling down and showing it."
"Thank you," Hermione's voice cracked as she, once again, buried her head in his neck. Harry suspected that he had seen some glittering in her eyes and decided to give her a moment to compose herself. A few seconds later, Harry felt her take a deep breath and a shiver ran down his spine.
"Mmm, you smell so good. I think I understand how you get that scent now."
"What scent?" Harry asked, completely distracted with her closeness. Hermione nuzzled his neck further, almost making him lose his balance. This was turning into a dangerous thing.
"That fresh air and pine tree scent." Her voice came out muffled.
"I smell like that?" Harry asked, how could anyone smell like fresh air? But then again, Hermione always smelled like books and mint toothpaste and a sweet fruit he couldn't name.
"Yeah. I like it."
"I like your scent, too," Harry murmured as he inhaled her sweet scent. "What is that fruity thing?"
Hermione's laugh made his chest vibrate. "It's peach. My shampoo."
"I like peach. It suits you."
"Thank you."
They were so close. If their clothes weren't so thick, Harry could swear he could feel her heartbeat against his chest. He rested his chin on her head that was buried in his chest and sighed contentedly. The sun had finally set, leaving behind a few rays of dark red highlighting the dark blue sky.
"You know what? You are the first person I've ever flown with on a broom." Harry broke the silence. He didn't know why but he had this urge to just talk about anything and everything with her.
"What about Malfoy? You saved him with your broom just last year." Hermione didn't raise her head from his chest. If Harry didn't know her fear of heights, he would have thought he had woken her up with his talking.
"He doesn't count."
Hermione's laugh once again made his chest vibrate deliciously. "Why is that? He has turned out to be quite a handsome young man, you know. You shouldn't disregard him like that."
"And you shouldn't talk about other blokes like that, no less with your boyfriend," Harry growled playfully. Hermione laughed again, dropping another shiver-inducing kiss to his throat, just below his Adam's apple.
"Don't worry, he is not my type. I prefer dark hair." Harry didn't try to suppress his grin at her words. "Besides, he fancies Ginny, anyway."
"What?" Harry pulled back from their embrace to see her face, his smile dropping instantly. Her eyes were twinkling mischievously. "You can't be serious."
"I think we'll see how serious I am in a few weeks," Hermione grinned. "Jealous?"
"I don't care about Ginny like that," Harry started quickly, he didn't want Hermione to misunderstand. "She is like a sister to me and Malfoy is… Malfoy. I don't care if he is a nice bloke now."
"I wasn't talking about Ginny."
"Then who?" Harry asked confusedly. Upon seeing Hermione's impish smile, he exhaled exasperatedly, "I'm starting to think you have a fantasy involving me and Malfoy."
"You wish, Potter. Sorry to tell you but I'm not the sort to share."
Harry felt a grin spread on his lips. "Good to know we are once again on the same page," he said as he pulled her closer, wrapping his legs around hers to keep her there. "I don't like sharing either."
"Hmm? Is that so? I haven't noticed that before," Hermione whispered as she rested her forehead against his.
"Mmm-hmm, it's also something I've recently learnt about myself," Harry murmured. Their breaths were mingling together, making him feel lightheaded. "I can be quite possessive."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. About you."
"I don't know why but I like that."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah…"
They were so close. So close, it was hard to tell if they were talking or just breathing the words. If one of them so much as moved a hair's breadth, their lips would finally meet.
"I think I'm going to kiss you."
Before Harry could act on his words, Hermione's lips were on his. So soft and warm but, at the same time, determined.
Just like Hermione.
'How can a kiss be so demanding and chaste at the same time?' Harry thought before he lost all his ability to think because Hermione had decided to nibble on his lower lip. Feeling her playful tongue running on his lip was his undoing as he forgot where he was, what he was doing and more importantly, what he must not be doing. Like closing his eyes and losing his concentration…
"HARRY!"
Hermione's squeak combined with the feeling of having all his internal organs fly up towards his mouth made Harry come back to his senses and he stopped the broom from freefalling after a few feet.
"Oops, sorry." Harry grinned sheepishly as he ruffled his hair subconsciously, making it even more dishevelled than before.
"Harry Potter! You almost killed us!" Hermione exclaimed, slapping his chest.
"You kissed me."
"That's not the topic." Harry's grin broadened upon seeing her blush adorably. She was trying to change the subject.
"I think there shouldn't be any topic other than that. You kissed me, Hermione Granger."
"We were dying," Hermione said with an incredulous sigh. "I can't believe you."
"We just fell a few feet," Harry rolled his eyes. "And it's your fault."
"Oh, yeah? And pray tell me, how is it my fault when it's your broom?" She punctuated her question with a poke to his chest.
"If I remember correctly, you were the one snogging the daylights out of me." Harry bit his lip to keep himself from smiling, she was angry and one would not smile when Hermione Granger was angry.
"Yeah and we had decided not to kiss this early in our relationship," Hermione sighed dejectedly, leaning her forehead on his chest.
Harry squeezed her waist as a snort escaped him, "We had also decided not to tell anyone but, apparently, you have no problem with walking hand in hand or cuddling up with me in front of the fireplace."
Hermione raised her head and rested her chin on his chest, "You're right and they didn't even catch on that something has changed between us."
Harry's eyes darted down to her pouting lips, moist and still a little swollen from their recent activities. He wanted to kiss her again but considering that they were still in the air, he really didn't want to risk getting hexed.
"You make me disregard every rule, every decision I have made," Hermione's murmur broke his trance. "And frankly, I don't know why I like that."
Harry's heart soared when he realised she had said 'why' instead of 'if'. "Because you like me," he said with what he hoped to be a charming smile.
The corner of her lips tugged upwards, almost like she didn't want to smile but couldn't help herself. "Let's go back. You've frightened me enough for today."
Harry grinned as she buried her face in his neck once again, obviously readying herself for the descend. "Does that mean I can frighten you again later? Not today, of course, but some other time?"
Harry felt Hermione's smile against his skin. "We'll see."
"So, you liked it? Flying with me."
"With you, yeah."
"And we're still on for Hogsmeade tomorrow?"
"As long as your next question isn't 'Can we fly there?', yeah, we're on."
"Suddenly I don't know how to fly."
Harry directed his broom to a gentle descend as Hermione's laugh rang through his chest.
Harry opened his eyes with a gasp. The sliver of moonlight fell over his eyes through the little parting of his bed curtains, lightening his otherwise dark bed. Trying to slow down his breathing, he slowly opened the curtains and reached for the glass of water sitting at his bedside table. A shiver ran through him as the cold air of the room met with his sweat-soaked t-shirt. Two big gulps of cold water and a deep breath later, he let his eyes wander over the dorm room. Thankfully, the others were still sleeping soundly. Harry lay down once again with a sigh, covering his eyes with his forearm.
He had hoped the end of the war would mean the end of his nightmares but he couldn't be more wrong. Sometimes, they were even worse than before. He would see the falling of his loved ones over and over and knew when he woke up, they wouldn't be there or even be alive to comfort him with their presence.
Harry's eyes opened at the thought and he immediately sought out his wand from under his pillow, his other hand opening the drawer of his bedside table to bring out the Marauder's Map. He knew this time the nightmare was just a figment of his imagination but he had to see her just the same, to make sure that she was safe and sound.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he whispered urgently into the dark. 'I just want to see that she is alive and safe.'
His trained eyes quickly scanned the Map to find the Gryffindor Tower. Half of him, the selfish part, wanted to see her dot in the Common Room just so he could go down and sit with her. See her face, hear her voice, smell her hair… Maybe kiss her again… She hadn't kissed him again after the fright he had given her on the broom. He didn't know if she was keeping her word on not kissing or if she was just angry with him.
She wasn't in the Common Room. Harry's eyes moved up the stairs leading to the Girl's Dormitory. His chest tightened with fear in that split second it took to turn the page of the Map.
'What if she isn't there?'
But there she was, in her bed beside the window. Her dot was so still, he really wished she would move so he could be sure that she was alive. Oh, how he wished he could be there to see her peaceful breathing. His eyes moved to the window beside his bed. If he wasn't sure that Hermione would hex him, he would take his Firebolt and fly to her window.
'She can't be mad at something she doesn't know.'
Harry shook his head to get rid of the little voice in his head. He couldn't go to her every time he had a nightmare about her. He couldn't disturb her every night. He had to get used to being alone after a nightmare, he had to be able to comfort himself. No matter how many people he had in the morning, he was on his own at night.
Alone in his bed.
Alone in his mind.
Alone.
His eyes got drawn to the Map once again. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be with Hermione. Since they had started dating a few days ago, he felt himself getting more and more attached to her.
'Who am I kidding? It started way before Monday.' He hadn't spent a day without her for nearly two years and he didn't want to.
Harry closed his eyes at the thought. This was getting dangerous. He shouldn't let himself get this attached to anyone.
'She isn't anyone, she is Hermione. The woman who has never let me down. My best friend.'
Harry let his head fall back onto his pillow. His best friend and girlfriend. What would happen if she decided to end things with him? After all, she'd only agreed to try dating him for two weeks. What if she decided that it wasn't worth risking their friendship for?
Harry turned on his side, getting comfortable under his duvet. He could tell from experience that it was going to be a long night filled with unanswered questions. His eyes once again found the dot named Hermione Granger, at least he had tomorrow to look forward to.
A/N: Hi everyone, once again, long time no see!
First of all, I wish you all a happy New Year! I hope the rest of it will be better than the first part because, so far, this past month has been a big 'one of those days' for me. Originally, I wanted to give this chapter to you as a New Year's gift but (\_(ツ)/) couldn't finish it on time, sorry.
Secondly, I have been writing this chapter for months. Believe me, I didn't just ignore writing this and then just wrote it in a week. This shit takes time... and inspiration… a lot of it.
Which makes me come to the third thing I want to say (I hope you are still here), I will finish this story. I'm not abandoning it. I've already outlined the next chapter but I don't know when I will start and finish writing it. All I need is the words to come to me so I can write them down. And I should say reviews are like Accio to inspiration… So please leave a little (or, even better, big) review that will make me put aside my work and start daydreaming about my stories :)
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Love you, take care and please don't forget that it's okay not to be okay! -xo