AN: Someone told me having a disclaimer might be a good idea. Since it can't hurt I add one, to the older chapters as well.
Isekaied by an inept Fanfiction Writer into Harry Potter
A story by DaManWriter, the inept Fanfiction Writer.
Disclaimer: If I did own Harry Potter or any other franchise that might get mentioned in this work, I'd relax on a tropical island right now instead of writing a disclaimer. I just borrow the characters for a bit and return them unharmed. Possibly.
Chapter 5
Back at Gringotts to get all his tracker protected stuff the curse breaker walked up to Harry.
"We found not only one but several blood trackers. I suggest you go to the DMLE, especially if you think you know who did this."
He gave Harry a bunch of scrolls.
"This lists everything we found, the blood trackers as well as all the normal ones on your clothes and other things. The magical signature is included, but that has been tampered with. Your only chance is to find what is used to check the blood trackers, there have to be some control devices with more blood as well as specific charms and runes involved to link them to the trackers."
After reading through the scrolls Harry looked at the curse breaker.
"Damn, that is a shitload of the fucking things!"
"Yes, all your school robes, many of the books, your wand, your glasses..."
"That reminds me, I have new clothes on as well as new glasses."
"We'll take care of those right away. You have the best service plan after all."
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A younger looking goblin entered and handed Harry his sheathed Audit Blade.
"Thank you. I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun with this."
Harry placed his newest toy under his clothes in a way he could swiftly draw the blade when needed. This was his last item of business at Gringotts, so he left the bank to fetch one of his solicitors.
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Harry went from 3MLaw to the Ministry of Magic together with Mr. Milkenvile. In the Atrium they passed the Fountain of Magical Brethren when Harry snorted.
Brethren my ass! Those tossers treat everything non human as subhuman.
They kept walking to the reception when an ugly pink toad crawled out of the woodwork.
Ugh, Umbitch. Another piece of shit to dispose of. Bloody hell, should I start a list? Nah, I'll use Kreacher for this. He'll love his new job.
Through the gate and one elevator ride later Harry and his solicitor entered the DMLE.
"Harry Potter!"
Seems absolutely everyone and their fucking pet dog knew him. The sunglasses helped, but the aurors obviously still could recognize him just fine. Something must be done about this. He felt a headache coming on.
"I need to meet Madam Bones."
One auror came to him.
"Follow me."
They went around the cubicles which were only partially occupied. Seems most aurors were out patrolling or whatever it was they did. Harry noticed Tonks and Shacklebolt in one of the cubicles looking at him until he looked right back, then they ducked below a partition out of sight.
Their auror guide knocked on a door and entered after he was called in. Seconds later he came back out again, motioned Harry and his solicitor to go in and closed the door after them.
Behind a large desk, not as ornate as the ones at Gringotts or Potter Manor, sat an older looking witch.
"Nice to meet you, Mister Potter. I am Amelia Bones, Head of the DMLE. What can I do for you?"
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Harry explained the situation, while Madam Bones had a quill write down everything.
"So not only was an illegal mail redirect and a huge amount on trackers on you, there also were several even more illegal blood trackers."
She looked at the Gringotts documents Harry gave her. Who would dare to place blood trackers on the boy-who-lived?
"Exactly, Madam Bones. Gringotts advised me to come here because of that and 3MVile Law actually insisted."
Harry had planned to destroy Dumbledore by all available means anyway, but 3MVile Law suggested to have them insisting so Harry could play his intended role as naive little boy for a while longer. He had no intention whatsoever to play innocent, though.
"I'm sorry to say that but since the magical signature has been tampered with finding the culprit will be incredibly hard."
"True, but I am quite certain I know who did it. That is also the reason I came directly to you, actually."
Now she looked at him very attentively.
"Blood trackers alone should be enough to land this case on my desk. So why did you come directly to me?"
Mr. Milkenvile leaned forward in his seat.
"We have reason to believe the culprit has spies in your department."
Madam Bones looked shocked.
"Are you talking about you-know-who?"
"No, we're not talking about the fucking Shart Lord."
"Shart Lord?"
Harry explained the term and why he didn't want to use neither Voldemort's self proclaimed title nor the plain dumb usual monikers and also liked to make fun of the name his supporters used. Madam Bones laughed.
"Oh, I'm sure soon quite some aurors will begin to use Shart Lord. Won't be long until the Prophet writes about it."
Mr. Milkenvile grinned. He absolutely had to make sure the Prophet will hear about this derisive nickname. He had informed Harry about it sounding rather juvenile, but Harry had asked him what he expected from a 12 year old and he had to concede.
Harry looked thoughtful. Yes, the fucking Prophet. He had to visit the gossip magazine after this.
"Back to the case. Who do you think placed the blood trackers on you?"
"Albus Fucking Dumbledore."
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Harry Potter walked into the building of the Daily Prophet together with Mr. Milkenvile. Within seconds several reporters were on him like vultures.
"Hello, Miss Skeeter."
The bespectacled reporter seemed surprised.
"You know me?"
The equally bespectacled, but his were infinitely cooler of course, Harry grinned back at the harpy.
"Who doesn't?"
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In a small room Rita Skeeter sat behind a desk, Harry and his solicitor on chairs in front of it.
"Is it okay to have everything written up?"
Mr. Milkenvile looked at the shrewd reporter.
"Sure is, but not with that quick quotes quill, Miss Skeeter. Use a normal one."
Rita narrowed her eyes at the boy daring to make demands of her. Her! She could destroy him in weeks if she wanted!
Harry grinned back, completely in control of the situation.
"You see, Rita, I can call you Rita, can't I? Well, Rita, we can have a fruitful partnership. One with big profits for both of us. Or we won't and I go to one of your colleagues. It would be a pity, you being my first choice and all, but that depends on you."
Skeeter glared at Harry.
"What makes you think you can demand compliance from me?"
Harry leaned back in his seat, deeply relaxed unlike the restless vulture in front of him.
"I have information. Juicy information. About important people. About important happenings. Enough for a chain of articles. Articles that will get you promoted to the top. That will make you one of the most famous reporters of the world."
He paused.
"Are you interested?"
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Dumbledore stepped back from the fireplace in his office. Madame Bones, after asking to get through, came out with two aurors.
"Hello, Albus. Allow me."
Amelia waved her stick around muttering not only the expected charms against eavesdropping but also some to detect blood tracker control links set to monitor Harry Potter. Several devices in the office lit up in an angry red. She sighed. Potter was right. Of course he was right. This will be ugly.
"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, for placing a mail redirect, several blood trackers and more than 30 other trackers on Harry Potter you are hereby under arrest. Aurors, detain him and take him to the DMLE for questioning."
"But... but... Amelia!"
The headmaster looked shocked when the two aurors took him to the fireplace while Amelia carefully placed the tracking devices into an evidence box.
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Rita was desperately interested to know what Harry had to tell. They worked out a contract binding their dealings. Harry would exclusively feed her information and she would publish only what he approved before, including every story involving him somehow. She would also be the only one in the Prophet writing about Harry. It was approved by Mr. Milkenvile so Harry signed it, followed by Rita and the Editor in Chief Barnabas Cuffe.
"Now let's see what you have for me."
Harry leaned back in his seat.
"First... I give you Albus Fucking Dumbledore."
Skeeter looked giddy like a dung beetle who found a huge heap of steaming shit to burrow into.