AN: Both Daphne and Luna are still in the running for Harry. Who will win? You will see, but not soon.

Isekaied by an inept Fanfiction Writer into Harry Potter

A story by DaManWriter, the inept Fanfiction Writer.

Disclaimer: If I did own Harry Potter or any other franchise that might get mentioned in this work, I'd relax on a tropical island right now instead of writing a disclaimer. I just borrow the characters for a bit and return them unharmed. Sometimes.

Chapter 9

It transpired that easy and fast to learn was fucking relative. The target audience of the book were adults. Harry was approaching his 13th birthday and his power had still a lot of growing to do. Also the book was written in archaic English making learning from it quite a drudgery.

Nevertheless the book was immensely useful. For one there was a good learning method for portkeys. Even better though were the attack and defense spells. What it taught was neither over powered nor effective, instead clearly weaker than what Hogwarts taught.

So, powerful was also relative, but it more than made up for with usability. The book's magic was not hard to learn and combined short whispered incantations with minimal wand movement for maximum efficacy and versatility. Whispering laid the ground work to prepare the trainee to cast fucking silently! The Attack section had the highest amount of spells, one each for piercing, cutting, blasting, bludgeoning and fire. This was fucking fantastic!

Both the cutting and the piercing spell cauterized the wound just like the fire one did, preventing the enemy from bleeding out too fast to enable later interrogation as well as prevent the enemy from healing up quickly to rejoin the fight. Brutal.

With enough training you can send much of the explosive force of the blasting curse in a predetermined direction? Wicked!

As Harry later learned the book was as the title suggested from the Glorious Revolution, way back in 1688-89. It was the last war on the island with magical troops just before the Statute of Secrecy. The knowledge fell out of use completely, the book was banned only a bunch of years after the war had ended. Not that he gave a shit about that.

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Learning to make portkeys was slow going due to Harry's still developing power and what the elves found about the Dark Mark so far was maybe interesting but still worthless. Fuck! He had to find a way to learn this shit faster than that!

Asking Floppy and Kreacher about artifacts, rituals or whatever the fuck they could think of to enable him to learn faster resulted in no result. Fuck you, Being Z! No wonder Tanya was so psychotic. But also brilliant, and he would be, too.

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After a week of therapy it showed the fucking potions worked wonders! Harry ate absurd amounts of food, at least 1.2 rons. The eponym of that newly coined measuring unit would be envious if he could've seen it.

That past week Harry grew about 2cm and gained almost 3kg of weight, mainly muscle mass. The growth was higher than expected, but just slightly outside of the margin the healers gave him. The muscle gain though was way better, almost a full kg above the best estimate, and probably a result of Harry's additional measures. To reinforce the therapy Harry had one room of the Manor transformed into a gym and worked out up to an hour in the morning and evening, accompanied with a quite large intake of protein bought in a shop geared to bodybuilders. He had never done this in his previous life, but needs must and sure gained impressive results. This also gave him the idea to market that protein stuff to wizards as some kind of muscle potion. Something to remember later.

Anyway, combined with the Sleekeazy's hair potion Dobby brought to his attention Harry looked noticeably different now. His hair was in a state that seemed deliberately slightly disheveled giving him a roguish look instead of the usual chaotically unruly mop. It was quite a task to get Harry's hair to this state every morning, but having an overenthusiastic elf proved to be super effective. Dobby got the job done in no time at all. Nice. Harry decided to let his hair grow longer to enhance the changed look even further. Soon he'd be able to walk down a street without some random idiots trying to talk to the boy-who-lived.

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With Luna's father back from his latest expedition in Finland to find the blibbering humdingers the Lovegoods went on another quite shorter voyage of exploration to find the focal point of the dimensional shift.

Xeno thought about what his daughter explained to him.

Triangulation. What a quirky concept. And it can only be done during the night? Well, if it works. Who am I to complain about outlandish hobbies?

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The new subbasement at Potter Manor was completed in record time. Nice. Harry walked into the first cell. It was a typical cell in most aspects. Shackles, drab stone walls, floor and ceiling. There was a small stone bunk with some straw on it, but that would not be needed.

What was quite unusual was the temperature in the cell. It was cozy warm and there was a good reason for that. Many reasons actually, in the form of a bunch of snakes creeping around on the floor.

From the ceiling hung a chain and fixed to the end of that with it's tail was the rat Pettigrew, just waking up and already in full panic. He hung just high enough that the snakes could not reach him. Probably. They did not stop trying, though.

"Hello, rat. Having fun with your new friends?"

Harry grinned at the struggling rodent.

"Better not try to free yourself. You'll drop down to the snakes who will happily eat you. Turn into a human and they will bite you. I was told the venom is extremely painful and kills very slowly. You may have days to enjoy something similar to a permanent crucio while dying."

If rats could blanch with fear this one would.

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When Harry left the cell the rat held very still. The pain part of the venom he had talked about was true, but the killing part was actually a lie. Harry wanted the bastard alive for now, he'll probably need him to free Sirius. Not that the catatonic rat knew about this.

"Kreacher!"

"Yes, Master Harry?"

"I want you to feed the rat once a day. Make sure he has enough to drink. Also feed the snakes - with life rats. Make sure Pettigrew is awake when you feed them so he can watch the snakes hunt and eat his brethren."

The ugly elf grinned sadistically.

"With pleasure, Master Harry!"

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Harry woke up to find Dobby... singing? What the fuck?

Everything was quite clear when he saw the cake with burning candles on the bedside table. He forgot his birthday. Well, not like there was all that much celebration for his birthdays so far.

"Thank you, Dobby."

Harry blew out the candles and wished both Voldemort and Dumbledore go to hell. Being Z has sent him here more than a month ago and there still was so much to do. Fuck it, he'll relax today.

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Finally there was a lead! With the knowledge that 3MVile Law were the solicitors of Harry Dumbledore went there and demanded information about the wayward boy.

Michael Avenattivile actually dared to laugh in his face!

"Mr. Dumbledore, we don't know where Harry Potter is. If we did know the place of residence of our client we would not tell you, anyway. It's none of your damn business."

The headmaster grid his teeth and tried legilimency. A bauble on the solicitor's desk lit up.

Avenattivile's grin grew even wider.

"Legilimency, Mr. Dumbledore? I am an occlumens, like any solicitor worth his salt. You do know that will lead to charges, don't you?"

The old man tried a different strategy.

"It's for the boy's security, Harry is in great danger. I need to know where he is so I can protect him."

"The fact you can't find him shows just how secure Mr. Potters place of residence is. Obviously he neither wants nor needs your protection."

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Since learning spells was going slowly and his knowledge of Harry Potter style magic was not that of Chris but the exact same level Harry knew after second year he decided to try something completely different and went to his new training room in the basement.

Let's start with a rather weak astral spell of one of my favorite anime series...

"Elmekia Lance!"

A lance of light leaped from Harry and impacted the far wall with no visible damage. The no damage to the wall part was expected for a spell that deals only astral damage. The crumple to the floor unconscious part was completely unexpected, though.

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Harry woke up in the master bedroom rather groggy with a dry throat. Seconds later Dobby popped in.

"The Great Master Harry Potter sir is awake!"

"Dobby... bring me a beer..."

The elf saluted and popped away just as Floppy popped in.

"Master Harry! You are awake!"

Harry turned his head to the newcomer.

"How long was I out?"

"2 days and 6 hours. We found you unconscious in the training room, Master Harry."

"Fuck!"

Dobby brought some beer, german one, not the weird butter gnat's piss the new Harry rather disliked. It was gone fast.

"Thank you, Dobby. Well, seems using exotic magic might be a problem. I will test this further next week."

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The Prophet opened with yet another scandalous article based on exclusive information from Harry Potter.

DUMBLEDORE EMPLOYS POSSESSED TEACHER!

Esteemed headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, has employed Quirinus Quirrell as DADA teacher two years ago. A man that was quite literally possessed by some malevolent entity. Said man brought a huge mountain troll into the school where it almost killed a student who had just begun her magical education.

The teaching staff did not come to save her, they did not even notice her absence! It took two brave students, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, fellow first years, to save the terrified girl who had no way to flee as the monster attacked her in a bathroom and blocked the only exit.

The two young boys who barely knew any magic attacked the twelve foot tall mountain troll. After the boy-who-lived managed to kill the monster with a lot of luck finally the first teacher finally deemed to make an appearance.

How can the Headmaster of Hogwarts employ a possessed teacher and not notice a thing? How can said teacher bring a huge troll into the school without being noticed? Are the wards not working or is nobody bothering to check them? We often hear Hogwarts is one of the safest places for our children to be. That seems to be just a bold lie told to concerned parents!

What was the goal of the entity possessing the teacher? Was it after the artifact Dumbledore has hidden at Hogwarts? Did the headmaster actually plan to have this incident happen at a school full of children? If so is he insane?

Once more Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore shows that having multiple jobs is just too much for the old man. What else is going on at Hogwarts we never got told about? The public has a right to know!

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Dumbledore was at a conference in France that day and so missed that article. McGonnagal, after reading it, wished he was there so she could kick his wrinkly hairy ass. Several Wizengamot members, after reading it, wished his trial would begin right away, so they could kick his wrinkly hairy ass. It was a bad day to be Dumbledore or his wrinkly hairy ass. Dumbledore suddenly felt a strange itching no matter how much he scratched that ass.

Harry also read the article and was highly amused.

"Fucking great! That will cost the beardless goat fucker for sure. Especially with that incredible photo showing how fucking huge those things are."

Said photo had a mountain troll grabbing the corpse of a child, a gruesome sight.

"Wait... a troll... Hell yes, that will be some kind of divine retribution."

Harry called some of the elves he had on standby and sent them to find him a large single mountain troll.