Hatching plans/Niece Wen
6
A chilling breeze swirled around Katara and Aang as Appa flew north. They had grown used to the cold, to yanking up their hoods, if need be, to covering their hands with thick mittens… what they weren't quite so used to anymore was the sudden line of light in the horizon, after about three hours of flight.
Katara noticed it first: Aang remained focused on the task of bending a warm current of air around the tropical messenger hawk they'd send out shortly. The waterbender sat beside him on the saddle, smiling as the rare glow of the sunlight fell upon Aang's contour, allowing her to detail his features, his body shape, practically for the first time in months.
"There, there, we're getting close…" Aang said to the hawk reassuringly. Katara smiled and nodded.
"We're already close enough to see the sunlight, no less," she pointed out: the Avatar gasped and glanced over his shoulder, his focus briefly broken as he smiled at the brightness in the distance.
"Oh, damn. We've been so long without it," Aang chuckled, grinning as he shifted on his seat, holding the hawk carefully, but facing the brightness and warmth of the sun completely now. "Ah… that's about right, huh? Always feels awesome when the sun finally comes back after the dark period, right?"
"Right," Katara smiled, glancing at him. "Guess you're a firebender after all. The sunlight must strengthen your power just as it does with the rest of them, even if you're the Avatar."
"Yeah, well, I guess so, but I just really wanted to remember what it's like not to be freezing all the time," Aang laughed. "It feels this way whenever we've left the Water Tribe… it's always nice to finally warm up again, even if just a bit."
"Well… we'll be traveling to many warmer places in the future, if things go the way they're supposed to," Katara remarked, biting her lip as a gleam of excitement and anticipation sparkled in her eyes.
"Yeah… that's true," Aang said, smiling a little as he held up the hawk once more. "And to make sure we can do that, we need to send out this little fellow, right?"
Katara nodded immediately: the letter for the Fire Lord rested in the hawk's message container, along with the remains of a cracked old whalebone knife, the alleged evidence of Sokka's demise. It was an unsettling ruse in some ways, Katara thought… but it would provide them with a vital advantage in the coming days, she knew as much.
Aang hoisted the hawk carefully in his arms, still enveloped in the warm current. The Avatar waited patiently for about five more minutes: the sun rode higher in the sky the more they progressed north, and by then, the warmth proved enough for Katara to shrug off her hood, closing her eyes as she took in the sunlight, much as Aang did.
"Alright, buddy… be careful," Aang told the hawk, offering it a kind yet remorseful smile. "It's too bad you've got to go so soon, but we'll always be friends, right?"
The hawk offered a soft squeak that Aang interpreted as a positive answer. He chuckled in delight before hoisting the creature into the air: the hawk spread its wings, and as much as the cold air buffeted it unpleasantly enough to knock the bird off-course for a moment, the creature's flapping wings soon spread out into a perfect line, enabling it to glide through the sky with the elegance of the best of airbenders. Aang smiled as it sped off, reaching down to pat Appa's back as his bison roared a goodbye to the departing hawk.
"Well… guess that's that, huh?" Aang said, biting his lip as the hawk's shape shrank in the horizon. "Off goes our newest friend, on one very dangerous adventure…"
"Do you think anything could happen to him?" Katara asked, puzzled. Aang sighed but shrugged.
"I'd think he's just a hawk, but with Fire Lord Ozai being who he is, I… I don't know what he's bound to do once he gets the message," Aang mumbled. Beside him, Katara sighed as she rested her forearms upon the edge of Appa's saddle.
"It's hard to believe any of this is real sometimes, isn't it?" she said, softly. "It is for me, at least. I've always had very firm and stubborn ideas regarding… well, everything, to be honest. But even though I pretty much wanted to wage war on the Fire Nation, especially on their Princess… I guess the magnitude of what I was asking for didn't dawn on me until that battle. I mean, we've had battles before, you even fought one of them with us once… but this was different."
"They came after Sokka," Aang said. "And they were ready to destroy us all to get to him."
"Exactly," Katara sighed, rubbing her brow with her fingertips. "I guess the moment everything just… snapped into focus for me was when Sokka did that crazy thing with the fire. Baiting them into going after him, distracting them just when it seemed they might actually destroy all our defenses…"
"It was brave, but crazy," Aang said, smiling a little. "We all did a fair share of improvising that day, but I guess Sokka did more of it than anyone else, huh?"
"Definitely," Katara said, eyes wide. "What I mean, though, is… it didn't really sink in that the Fire Lord would single out my brother as someone to kill, or capture, or whatever it is he wants at this point. For all this time, I… I've just seen Sokka as my goof of a big brother, who's no longer so goofy because he's been through a lot of anguish and heartbreak. But to all those people… to all those soldiers, he was genuinely the Fire Lord's worst enemy. They want him dead so much more than they want to trample over our culture… it's so personal it's terrifying. And it's just so hard to believe that it's… well, again, my goof of a brother whom the Fire Nation wants to destroy this badly."
"I guess you still thought maybe some things weren't quite that bad…?" Aang said. "That maybe the Fire Lord didn't care that much about Sokka?"
"He doesn't care about Sokka, he cares about killing him, apparently," Katara said, frowning. "He clearly can't give a damn about anyone but himself and his ego: he's not only the horrific tyrant we've always thought he is, but also the selfish monster Sokka has seen for himself that he is. Yet, well… we're all so far removed from the rest of the world, a small Tribe in the middle of nowhere, as far as the rest of the world is concerned. As much as I understand Sokka's story, it's just…"
"It's hard to believe he's that important to so many other people out there, and not just you and your Tribe?" Aang guessed. Katara bit her lip but nodded.
"I guess that's it, yeah. Where I see my brother… those soldiers saw a terrifying swordsman, and they were right to see that. We destroyed their fifty-ship fleet under his leadership, and the Fire Lord will think he's dead regardless… I guess Sokka really is far more terrifying than I ever knew."
"And far more human than the Fire Lord and his soldiers will ever want to admit," Aang said, with a gentle nod. "I expect they'll think nothing but awful things of him, but he didn't choose to act with cruelty when he defended the Tribe."
"Yeah, well, they'll love to control the narrative and present him as a monster when everyone with sense knows who the real monster is," Katara said, bitterly. "It was a mess of a battle… I don't think any of us have ever seen anything like it. But I guess Sokka's been so hardened by his experiences that he just flowed from one thing to the next? It felt like… like we were seeing another side of him, altogether."
"Well… Kino, Zuko and I saw some of it before. Back in Whaletail Island," Aang said, lowering his gaze. "He was fighting a waterbender in an environment that seemed to favor her… but he controlled the battlefield almost effortlessly. He was also very moody, because… he had hoped to find you, as you know. I guess we didn't see much else of his gladiator persona, but… I'm guessing that's where his strength in the battlefield's coming from."
"Makes it all the more ironic, doesn't it?" Katara said, with a dry grin. "The Fire Nation forced him to develop all these inventive fighting skills so he could survive in their world… and now he uses those skills against them. Guess that's what people mean when they say someone's dug their own grave, huh?"
"I guess so," Aang nodded. "To be honest, I… I'm a bit anxious about what's going to happen once we set out. Sokka had calmed down a bit since he arrived… I guess he adapted to this life, to a fault, even if it's obvious he misses Azula every day. But I guess he knew his people love him… and that helped. Once they accepted the stories, his lessons, when he feared they wouldn't… he must have felt better because of that. But he might not be so relaxed anymore now that we'll be leaving…"
"We'll leave the safety of the Water Tribe, yeah. For a long time, too," Katara remarked, though where Aang hoped to find excitement in her voice and expression, he found only trepidation instead. "It's, in some ways, what I've always wanted… but I never really thought it'd happen this way, if that makes any sense. I guess I idealized the possibility of going to war with the Fire Nation…"
"I suppose the battle was eye-opening for the two of us in many ways, huh?" Aang commented, gazing down at the wide-spreading ocean below Appa, who hovered carelessly and happily in the air. Ripples of light danced underneath them, beading the waves with a brightness he had direly missed seeing throughout the past months.
"I guess," Katara glanced at him from the corner of her eye. A small, festering regret spilled out from her before she could help it: "Aang… I'm sorry if I pressured you to join the fight in any way. I was glad for your help, and we worked really well as a team, but… I did take the horrors of war for granted. No matter how justified our cause may be… it doesn't make this any easier."
"It's not supposed to be," Aang said, with a small smile. "That's how you know your cause is the right one, I guess. But… you don't have to be sorry, Katara. If anything, I… I've been trying to be Aang, rather than the Avatar, for as long as I learned who I was. I didn't want to be the Avatar, you know? I just wanted to have fun with my friends and live my life freely, see the world if I could, all those things… but in the end, I had a duty I should've upheld and never did. I've been running away from it after I first failed… and I think Hakoda and Kanna were right to say we weren't ready to do this back when you first wanted us to. But… at this point I feel like there's no more excuses, nowhere for me to hide. I don't think there should be, at least…"
"Do you really believe you've just been running away?" Katara asked, eyeing him with uncertainty. Aang sighed but nodded.
"At the end of the day… yeah," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his hands. "If I'm the Avatar, and the Avatar has a duty… shouldn't I fulfill it, come what may?"
"Well… maybe," Katara said, a hint of sadness in her voice. "But you're more than just the Avatar. Like you said, you're Aang, first of all: you're more than what you can bend, than a bridge between spirits and humans, or whatever it is they say you are…"
"More?" Aang asked, with a sad smile. "I'm not sure Aang is really that much more than the Avatar…"
"Well, I am," Katara said, firmly. Aang laughed softly, shaking his head. "I'm not joking here. I… I really think so, Aang. I mean… look at Sokka: he's a non-bender. He's got a crazy sword, true, but we hardly have seen him use it – or at least, I haven't. He's a reckless goofball who can be both the smartest and stupidest guy in a room… and with all that in mind, he's the man the Fire Lord has singled out as the threat to squash out, someone he'd send fifty ships after: do you think it's because he has a cool sword? Do you think it's because he's a powerful fighter?"
"Well… no, but in his case, we do know why that is, right?" Aang said, with a weak smile. "It's all because of… well, his relationship with the Fire Lord's daughter, above all else. If he hadn't done that, the Fire Lord wouldn't hate him."
"And how exactly do you think that relationship even came to be?" Katara asked, raising an eyebrow. "Granted, I still have my reservations about it all, but… we saw those two in Whaletail Island. We know what they acted like around each other: Sokka wasn't some subservient fool lowering himself for her sake. If anything… it seemed like there was nothing she wouldn't do for him, if you really think about it. How, exactly, would he get a Princess of the Fire Nation to do everything she has for him?"
"Well…" Aang said, biting his. lip "I guess you mean he only got that far because he was Sokka, right?"
"Just as I know you can go as far as you wish because you're Aang and not anyone else," Katara said, with a gentle smile. "That you're the Avatar… it's not the core of your identity. It's part of you, just like everything else is. Maybe you should fulfill your duty indeed, I'm obviously not against that… but don't make the mistake of thinking yourself any lesser than you are, Aang."
Her earnest words brought a genuine, heartfelt smile to his face. They held each other's gaze for one long, tender moment… a moment that brought up more thoughts and emotions to the surface than either of them anticipated.
"Uh… yeah. I'll try my best," Aang answered awkwardly, as he leaned back from Katara, suddenly bashful and insecure. "You're… well, really kind, Katara. Maybe more than you should be, but I'm grateful for it."
"Me? I… I'm not that kind at all. If anything, I've been unforgiving and harsh and… well, because I've been this way, uh…" Katara said, uncomfortable. "Well, what the heck. I think we have some things to talk about, Aang…"
"I know. I… guess I'm not ready to, but I know," Aang smiled sadly, nodding weakly.
"I… have acted differently around you, ever since Sokka returned," Katara acknowledged, averting her gaze from him. "I guess… it was easy enough to chase my own happiness with you when I thought he was doing the same thing. But when he was hurt and in such bad shape, I… I felt guilty. It felt wrong that I might… indulge in our relationship while his own had blown up in such a horrible way. I probably was making a mess of things by thinking that way, though… and I must have hurt you when I distanced myself from you because of that."
"Uh… well, maybe? But I wasn't worried about myself, Katara, I just… I just hoped you'd be okay," Aang said, glancing at her wistfully. "I know how hard these months have been for you…"
"They have been terrible and wonderful simultaneously, huh?" Katara said, glancing up at the deep blue skies. "Having Sokka back is everything I ever wanted, my life goal, as it were… and yet it wasn't what I dreamt of, at all. I blinded myself to so many things by being stubborn and stupid and…"
"Don't say that…"
"And by being that stubborn I just ended up hurting myself more than anyone else hurt me," Katara sighed, glancing at Aang remorsefully. "I… I don't know if it bothered you when I denied our relationship. It was just…"
"Oh!" Aang gasped, his cheeks reddening. "W-well, that's not something you need to apologize about, not at all. We had agreed we'd keep things quiet… and to be honest, I was worried Sokka might threaten to skewer me if I hurt you, so maybe it's better that nobody knew, in the end, eh?"
"Did he threaten you, though? That day, he talked to you in private…" Katara asked, uneasy.
"Ah, no, if anything he just wanted to know if there was anything to know about," Aang said, with a careless shrug. "He said it was fine by him if there was, and that we should make the most of our opportunities to be together if that was what we wanted, pretty much, but… I wasn't sure that you really wanted to hear that. I had the feeling you wanted to focus on protecting the tribe more than anything, so…"
"I did," Katara admitted, with a sigh. "And to this moment… I still do, Aang."
He glanced at her with unease, as Katara avoided his eyes once more. She drew her knees up, placing her crossed arms upon them, resting her chin on her forearms.
"I… don't really feel any differently about you than I used to," she admitted, her cheeks red. "But also… I don't think I can responsibly ask for us to go back to where we left off right before we knew Sokka was back. I… I do hope you know that, if you'd finished asking what you were going to ask me that day, I would've said yes, but…"
"But it's not the right time now… huh?" Aang asked, quietly, dropping his gaze on his tattooed hands. Katara grimaced.
"We're going to be marching off to war soon. There's going to be so much to do, so much to worry about… and you've seen what I was like the past months. This is the first time we've talked about 'us' since Sokka returned, and we had chances to, but… I was so focused on work that I didn't dare bring this up. I didn't want distractions, I didn't want further anguish, I didn't want guilt… and then I realized more than anything, I didn't want to hurt you by saying that maybe this isn't the right time for a relationship, but in the end, I just kept hurting you anyway by keeping you at bay."
"You didn't hurt me that badly," Aang said, with a gentle, reassuring grin. "And besides… is what you're saying now really that bad? It's not like you're breaking things off with me because you think we're bad together, or because you don't like me anymore… well, I'd hope, anyway. You're doing it because you're not ready, and… that's a good enough reason not to do something, you know? I don't need explanations or excuses… from the start, all this between us was as good as a dream come true for me. But if this is what you want right now, Katara, I'm fine with it too. I wouldn't mind at all if we stay together through all this, but… in a way, we will be, eh? Even if just as friends…"
"In a way," Katara said, with a sad smile. "If… if things make enough sense, Aang, if our mission works out, maybe we can give it a shot again? But, well, at least for now…"
"Alright," Aang smiled too, reaching out to take Katara's hand in his own. Her cheeks reddened further under his kind gaze. "But don't force yourself to do anything you're not ready for, alright? The months before this… they were amazing for me too. I'm glad things worked out between us for as long as they did, and I'll just hope that maybe one day it'll work out again. But… I know you really need time to figure things out, to focus on how to help Sokka the most, and well… charging into a war is probably not the best time to think about relationships or weddings or anything of the sort, right?"
"Guess not," Katara said, with a sad smile. "Like I said… my feelings for you haven't changed."
"Nor mine for you," Aang said, grinning. "Though I've definitely realized, after this battle… that I have a lot to learn, too. As much as you think I'm more than just the Avatar… I am, still, the Avatar. There's a lot I have to think about, a lot I should meditate on, in order to truly understand my duty to the world… and I guess it's probably for the best if we both focus on those things right now?"
"Probably," Katara agreed, nodding weakly.
Aang sighed, wrapping Katara in a one-armed hug. She smiled at the gesture, letting her head rest on his shoulder as they glided through the sky, still moving towards the brightness of a much darker world than the one they'd left behind. They'd turn back soon enough, flying back to the South Pole one more time before proper preparations for their impeding journey began… but for now, if they would have one last moment of peace, they'd rather bask in it together.
"It's probably the worst moment to say this…" Katara whispered, pressing her face to his shoulder. "But even though I stand by what I told you before, Aang, I just want you to know that I… I love you. I should've said it sooner, but… I hope you understand where I stand now that I said it."
Aang remained silent, and Katara glanced at him anxiously, unsure of what his reaction had been: stiff and stunned, Aang gaped at the horizon blankly for a moment before a smile spread over his face… reminding Katara of their first kiss, when her boldness had taken him by surprise in a similar way. Her heart jolted as she waited for him to say something, but she didn't press him for it… then, a soft laugh tumbled from Aang's lips.
"Well… it makes me feel better, if you want to know," he admitted, with a cheeky smile. "I guess we won't do the things we used to, but… love is still love, right? Even if we're taking some time to focus on other things… our love is still real."
"Our…?" Katara asked, with a gentle smile. Aang chuckled and nodded.
"I should've said it from the start, myself," he said, grinning. "I love you too, Katara."
She smiled more earnestly, wrapping her arms around him. Maybe in time, they'd figure out a rhythm in the chaotic life that they would be forced to face in the coming months. If they could balance a relationship with all the pressures successfully, she'd be all the happier for it. But even if they couldn't, if they needed to wait until everything was over – in the assumption that they'd survive it all, that was –, Katara felt content, as things were. Knowing their feelings were the same, knowing they understood each other, knowing they had lots to learn in the future, was enough. She meant the world to him, much as he did to her… for now, that sufficed and appeased her anxious heart. If there was a future for them at all, she had no doubts she and Aang would walk it side by side, no matter what kind of relationship they shared, no matter what hurdles they'd find along the way. Above all else, he was her best friend: whatever happened next, she knew the strength of their bond would outlast any challenges, just as it had overcome the fleet that attacked the Water Tribe a week ago.
After sharing that quiet moment in the heights of the sky, Aang finally reached for Appa's reins, ushering him to turn around: the warmth of the sun faded over time, but the one that nestled in their hearts didn't vanish so easily. They would travel across these skies once again very soon, on their way to change their war-torn world: after their earnest, understanding conversation, both Katara and Aang gained even more determination to see this quest through, and to devote their every effort to ensure the Fire Nation's reign of terror would finally come to its long-awaited conclusion.
Sokka had expected Suki herself to approach him with the news regarding which member of her family would join the long voyage to battle the Fire Nation. At most, he had thought it'd be both her and Zuko, and he'd expected nothing but nasty, bitter glares from the latter…
He certainly didn't expect for the banished prince to stop before him, alone, when Sokka had been talking with Kino, Haka and Kattan regarding how the two warriors would defend the Tribe while the benders and Sokka were gone – to this moment, Haka and Kattan believed they, as well, should join the incursion to Fire Nation-held lands, but no amount of persistent begging changed Sokka's mind. Appa might need to take frequent breaks with just five riders on his saddle: Sokka barely wanted to imagine how much harder it would be on the sky bison to fly with seven or more, instead.
Thus, Zuko's sudden appearance would spare Sokka from further arguing with the two younger warriors – or rather, further pleading on their part. If it weren't for the dark, bleak expression on the firebender's face, Sokka might have outright welcomed the intervention… but it was clear immediately that Zuko intended to have a stern word with him.
Suki's conversation with Sokka had happened merely the previous day. Sokka hadn't seen either of them afterwards, and only now did he realize that perhaps he had been better off for it: Zuko's dark semblance was a bad omen for whatever conversation he had likely intended to seek with Sokka.
"We need to talk. Now," Zuko said, bluntly. Kino had brightened up immediately when the exiled Prince had approached them, but even he knew better than to insert himself into the conversation when Zuko's glare was set on Sokka that way.
Sokka breathed deeply but nodded, giving Zuko no further reason to be upset. He glanced at the others meaningfully, only for the three to regard them with apprehension.
"If you have more to say, I'll hear it later, okay?" Sokka said, patting Haka's shoulder with a hand. "I'll be back in a bit."
Kino winced as the two men he admired the most walked away from the center of the village. It was no secret that Zuko and Sokka had a conflictive relationship in the past, even if they had been quite cordial until the meeting when Sokka announced his plans. As much as Kino didn't find any joy in fighting against his nation, he certainly hoped Zuko wouldn't try to dissuade Sokka from taking off on this journey. Perhaps they were in over their heads… but after witnessing the battle of the bay, Kino could only believe, wholeheartedly, that Sokka's leadership might be the last element needed to truly tip the scales against the Fire Nation's conquest. He only hoped Zuko would understand as much.
Zuko didn't lead Sokka back to his family's igloo: instead, Sokka followed him out of the tribe's enclosure, to the same snow mounds where he'd taken his seat a few weeks ago, upon finding Azula's necklace. His throat threatened to choke up over the memory, but he steeled himself as the Prince finally slowed to a halt at the height of the mound, turning to glance at the village with mournful eyes.
"Don't know if I interrupted anything important…" Zuko said, finally. "I'm sorry if I did. But I just… needed to talk about a lot of things right now. Things we haven't discussed… things we probably should have, since a long time ago. Things that are important for the future, too. Things most people might not truly grasp, and that I really want to make sure you do."
Sokka breathed out slowly, a wisp of white breath hovering before him as he did. Zuko sighed as well before dropping on the snow, brow furrowed once again. Without waiting for Zuko to tell him to join him, Sokka took his seat as well, though at a fair distance from the firebender. After another moment of silence, Zuko finally spoke:
"I've… done my best to accept a lot of things I might not have been ready to deal with," Zuko started, his jaw squared, his shoulders tense. "You'll probably think I'm an idiot, but… as much as I could tell you meant a lot to my sister, I didn't really want to think she'd ever sacrifice everything she'd worked for, not specifically for you, but… for anyone. Had it been any other person, Sokka, I wouldn't feel any differently…"
"So that I'm one of the people you're most easily exasperated by isn't part of the problem?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. Zuko shook his head.
"She's one of the people who exasperates me most easily, too. At least, she used to be. As far as that goes, I guarantee you're the perfect match," he said, lowering his gaze. "You grew up with a talented younger sister of your own. You know how it goes… though I hope you never knew what it felt like to have a father who'd practically spit in your face that you were unworthy while praising every footstep your sibling took."
"Well… evidently, I didn't," Sokka said, with a half-hearted shrug. "Though, I think you know by now that any praise your father gave her was… well, empty feels like the wrong word. Conditioned, maybe…? A trap? I don't know…"
"I do know that, yeah," Zuko said, frowning. "It's hard to believe that, in the end, I was the luckier one of us both. That our father didn't give a damn about me… it made it that much easier to finally see him for the bastard he truly was. It was easier to turn my back on him… to leave and hope to never return. But for Azula… he used to be her biggest supporter, as far as she could tell. He encouraged her every whim, especially if it was anything that might displease our mother…"
"Seriously?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows: somehow, it hadn't occurred to him to ask Zuko about their mother. Perhaps he was wary of how biased Zuko might be: Azula herself had told him the only person her mother had truly loved was Zuko…
"It wasn't always like that," Zuko said, sadly. "We were a happy enough family, once. I guess not completely like you and your family, but… but at some point or another, things started to change. I didn't understand what had changed, though I faced the consequences directly, myself… since that's when my father started treating me cruelly. I guess it took me a while to reason with all of it… maybe my mother's support of me was also a way for her to fight back against my father. But… that's not really the point, is it? Ugh. What I meant to say is… my sister wouldn't have given up on everything she did for anyone's sake, in normal circumstances. Not unless she had changed far more than I was ever willing to acknowledge.
"And if all the stories you told my daughter are true… I guess she did change in more ways than I realized. I get that you're altering a few things, evidently you're skipping over others… but if that's truly the kind of relationship you had with her, it means you knew her better than anyone else does. Am I wrong?"
Sokka frowned at the question: his immediate, impulsive urge to answer positively was only held back by the confusion regarding why Zuko would ask that, to begin with. He nodded slowly, certain of his answer, uncertain of Zuko's purpose.
"I'd say so, yeah," Sokka whispered.
"Then have you thought of how this is going to affect her? Our big journey?" Zuko asked, frowning heavily. Sokka gritted his teeth. "I'm not telling you to change your mind anymore. I'm not about to ask you to set aside all your plans and stay here so she can rest easy, but I'm asking if you've thought about this properly, because, if I know my sister… I don't think she'll appreciate this big plan of yours at all."
"She won't. She asked me to stay here, to live my life freely and wait for her to come back for me when the time was right," Sokka answered, bitterly. "If I go out there, if I'm found, if Ozai tries to capture or kill me again… she'll be anguished, yes, but I don't intend to give your father the chance to defeat me ever again."
"That's not all there is to it, though. And you should know that," Zuko said, scowling. "Yes, she'd be distraught to see you hunted down and turned into the Fire Nation's top public enemy… but she'd be furious if she hears you've joined forces, not only with the Order of the White Lotus, who tried to kill you in the past, but with… with Uncle Iroh, too."
Sokka flinched, lowering his gaze. Yes, it was a fair point… one he had certainly tried not to think much about. Clumsily, carelessly, he had determined the ends justified the means… and Azula might understand that reasoning in any circumstances other these ones. Joining forces not only with the organization that had certainly been a thorn in their sides, especially in the earlier years of their partnership, but with the man who, if what they'd been told was true, had been the catalyst to their downfall…?
"I'm not trying to be an asshole here," Zuko said, his voice softening. "I'm not saying this just because… because I want to stay home with my family and not go to any wars…"
"If you wanted that, it's fine by me," Sokka said, curtly. Zuko grimaced. "I've already told Suki as much. Neither of you has to come along unless you really want to. This war has left enough children without parents for a myriad of reasons, and yours certainly don't deserve that. You shouldn't come with us if you'd rather…"
"I appreciate that, but I'm going anyway," Zuko said, sternly. Sokka flinched, eyeing him with utmost confusion. "Suki's made it clear: if I don't go, she will. Pretty sure she made it clear to you, too…"
"Then… you're coming? For real?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. Zuko breathed in and released the air bitterly, an irritable expression crossing his face once more.
"I'm not as essential for our daughters as she is," he said. "The village can help them with food, if they need that at all. Though Suki would probably be better at hunting than me if she gave it a try, so…"
"You underestimate how much a father means to a child," Sokka said, but Zuko shook his head.
"You, of all people, should understand why I have to do this," Zuko said, running a hand through his hair. "It's… the same reason why you're doing it, in the end: I can't bear the thought of seeing Suki off to the dangers of the war while I stay behind and do nothing. Isn't that exactly how you feel about what Azula did to you?"
Sokka gritted his teeth, his eyes drifting away towards the horizon again. Zuko was right… he certainly could understand that part of his motivation perfectly.
"She feels the same way, though," Sokka pointed out, glancing at Zuko with uncertainty. "Suki, I mean. When she talked to me, she… she seemed determined, at first. But the more she spoke, the more I could tell she was resigned, instead. She knew you'd be the one to join us in the end, and… and I'm pretty sure she needs you just as much as you need all of them. I know you have strong reasons to come, but… I'm giving you the chance to opt out precisely because I didn't get that chance. I couldn't convince Azula to stay here… I couldn't be the one to charge off into danger while she waited patiently for me. And now, I… I'm doing this because I don't think waiting will have any purpose in the long run. After I found the…"
He trailed off, choked up upon recalling the night he'd spent on this very mound of snow, resentfully clinging to the necklace he now kept in his pocket. The day when the reality he most wanted to deny had become starkly clear, inevitable and painful in ways it hadn't been before: maybe Azula would never come back. Maybe this was the end of the line for everything they had built… maybe it really had been a final goodbye.
He couldn't live with that. He refused to live with that, when there was still a fighting chance worth making something out of.
"I heard about that… well, later," Zuko said, frowning. "Well, as usual, the whole Tribe heard of it, though nobody really seemed to understand. She… left something for you? In your things?"
"Her betrothal necklace," Sokka explained, his voice more bitter than he intended. Zuko's eyes widened. "Yeah, I know. You've never heard of betrothal necklaces in the first place, it's a northern tradition I only learned about while in the Fire Nation. I… made one for her, after the first time she said she'd marry me. She couldn't carry it most times, she couldn't wear it unless we were alone or undercover, as we were on the week we took off to Shu Jing… but I managed to salvage it from my house before my final fight against Combustion Man. I gave it to her on the ship, asked her to keep it… she stuffed it in my bags at some point in our journey, and I didn't even notice until that day. I fell apart all over again when I found it."
"Then… you two seriously hoped to get married?" Zuko asked, eyeing Sokka with amazed disbelief. "H-how…?"
"Hoped?" Sokka repeated, sighing before yanking his right hand's glove off: Zuko's eyes widened upon glimpsing the healed scar across Sokka's palm. "That trip to Shu Jing… we got married twice when we were on it. In Firelight Town, under our false names, the first time… as Jing and Wentai. Then, we did it again when we were alone. Her dragon officiated that one… by the Water Tribe rite, or at least, as close to it as we could make it. And yeah… your sister's got a scar just like this one, too."
"Damn, I…" Zuko said, before grimacing. "Heh. Does this make us brothers-in-law, officially?"
"Here I thought your whole problem with my relationship with Azula was about getting used to that idea," Sokka said, with a weak smile. "Still not completely alright with being related to me, are you?"
"N-no, that's… well, not that bad, I guess. It's a little strange, but admittedly, living here has made me feel closer to your family than to my own, most days," Zuko admitted, with a shrug. "I guess there's just much about your relationship with Azula that I haven't fully wrapped my head around. I… didn't really think you'd gone that far."
"We barely had to," Sokka said, softly. "The ceremonies… they were just a confirmation of what we already knew. Don't get me wrong, I loved both of them, but… I would have been just as ready and willing to kill and die for her without them. Even if I did feel stronger yet when I first called her my wife, I…"
"Your wife…" Zuko repeated, blinking blankly… yet he smiled, to Sokka's surprise. "That's definitely going to take time getting used to."
"Is it? You don't seem that disgusted about it right now," Sokka said, smiling a little too.
"I wouldn't call it disgusting, just surprising… but I guess knowing my sister was bold enough to marry the man she loved, to hell with everything else, might be a more agreeable thought than I realized it was," Zuko said, though his smile waned slowly. "I guess it might make my next point all the more difficult to grasp for you, though…"
"Difficult to grasp?" Sokka repeated, raising an eyebrow. Zuko gritted his teeth.
"You came back here after six years, more or less, since you were first taken away," Zuko said. "From the moment you came to your senses here… you had to feel like an outsider in your own home. Like you didn't belong here anymore, because you'd found belonging someplace else. Believe me… I'm not judging you for it at all, if that's how you felt. The whole reason why I can imagine you felt that way is because… because I felt like that, too. I spent even longer away from home: I left as a thirteen-year-old boy, and I came home ten years later, no less. I had no idea how to belong in a world that had moved on without me… in the end, I never did find that belonging again, even if I got to meet Suki and made my peace with many things I wasn't ready to accept at first. Then, I found that sense of belonging here, in the least expected place… I guess, much like you found it with Azula. But the thing is…"
Sokka frowned, waiting for Zuko to finish that last sentence. It seemed the firebender struggled to put together his thoughts, unusually careful with how he worded his ideas… it seemed to Sokka his demeanor had changed upon learning Sokka and Azula had actually eloped. Maybe her sacrifices and Sokka's rash choices made more sense to him when seen under that light… but the words he intended to utter now were all the more painful for it.
"I don't know how long it's going to take for this crazy plan of yours to pay off," Zuko finally continued, intertwining his fingers, elbows on his knees. "It could be a matter of years. It could take a whole decade again: waging war can't be easy, though I don't know nearly enough about how difficult it could be… but unless the White Lotus is better equipped than I know, they're not likely to have endless resources and opportunities to fight against my father. This could be a long-term thing… and that means you might be away from Azula for much longer still."
"I… I know. I'll do my best to think things through and not extend the war for longer than necessary…" Sokka said, frowning, but Zuko shook his head.
"That's not going to be enough, in this case. Not when it comes to… to what I'm talking about," Zuko said, glancing at Sokka with remorse. "You're not the same man who was taken from the South Pole all those years ago. I'm not the same boy who was banished from the Fire Nation, I'm not even the same man I was when I first met you. We've all been through our hardships, enough of them that they might mess us up forever… and you know Azula is stuck at the very core of the Fire Nation, after she pissed off our father enough that he literally sent a fleet to destroy the Water Tribe in retaliation. We're only seeing the tip of the iceberg here, Sokka: we have no idea what he's done to Azula, and if that makes me feel awful, I can barely imagine how much it must torment you whenever you think about it, too."
Sokka gritted his teeth, tightening his fists. Zuko's words threatened to push him to tears again, furious tears on behalf of the woman his heart belonged to… tears he had to contain for her sake, to convert into sheer power and motivation to break every known boundary and save her from the nightmare she was living through right now. He did want to put those thoughts aside for the sake of staying strong and pushing through the challenges… but they did torment him, just as Zuko had put it. Merely pondering what horrors Azula might be facing on her own could break whatever shred of strength he still thought he could cling to. He wanted to believe in her, to trust that she could fend off her father… but the fleet that attacked the Water Tribe said otherwise.
Azula had insisted that she'd do her best to prevent anything like that from happening… and in the end, it had happened anyway. She had failed to stave off the Fire Lord's vengeance… if she had failed when it came to the Water Tribe, was it remotely possible that she might have succeeded when it came to herself? Considering how unlikely it was for Azula to have prioritized herself, her own safety, above that of everyone else… Sokka already regretted infecting Azula with his own bad habits of never looking after himself in order to protect others, regretted the pressures he had wrongfully placed on her shoulders even during the earlier days of their partnership, especially after the outcome of Rhone's attack had nearly cost her life. She never failed to remark that he lacked self-preservation instincts… but as much as he had hoped he'd improved at least slightly on that front, no longer seeking death as he had been in the past but seeking to live by her side and fighting his hardest along with her, it seemed Azula's own self-preservation instincts had dwindled and faded away slowly. She would never take care of herself, protect herself, stand aside as the Water Tribe was destroyed if her compliance meant she would be spared… no, for she'd fight back, and if she couldn't do so, she would be filled with guilt and anguish, believing herself responsible for every tragedy, assuming her inability to act, the lack of choices she'd been given, would make her inevitably responsible for every terrible thing that happened due to her inaction…
He snarled, shaking his head. She would be going through hell on earth right now, as far as he could tell. It infuriated him… and it further strengthened his resolve to find and save her, even if he recognized that acting on that reckless impulse was a dangerous choice to make.
"I know you don't want to think about this… but I guess if I'm part of this team in the end, it'll be my job to make you face the things you don't really want to," Zuko sighed, eyeing Sokka remorsefully. "I know you must feel like this is just further reason to jump forth and do everything for her sake… but that's not really my point here, Sokka."
"No?" Sokka closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead with his bare hand. "What is it, then?"
"We've both lived through long periods of life through which we changed into unrecognizable people," Zuko said, gritting his teeth. "I know your love for my sister is… it's as real as can be, even if I grapple with that reality sometimes. I know hers for you must have been just as strong, too. But… love alone doesn't make people immutable."
"Wait… what?" Sokka frowned, glancing at Zuko with almost affront now. Zuko winced, still remorseful.
"I'm not saying your feelings, or hers, will fade… they probably never would, going by every story you've shared with Mari so far," Zuko said. "But one of the consequences of being stuck alone with our father for however long it may be, Sokka, is… that the Azula you might wind up saving may not be the same Azula with whom you cut your hand and pledged yourself in marriage to. Even if it doesn't take ten years, or six… this kind of trauma, this kind of horror, can change someone. I'm not saying there won't be a single shred of the Azula you know and love left inside her… but she may no longer be the same woman you screamed after when she left you on that dock. She might have been through hardships neither of us can imagine yet… you know enough of this, more than enough, considering all you went through while you were her gladiator. No one here could anticipate the man you turned out to be when you woke up that day in my igloo… and as much as I hope she's still strong enough to face our father's worst, you should be prepared to face the changes in the Azula you'll find again by the time this whole journey pays off, if it really does."
Sokka gritted his teeth, unsure of how to answer Zuko's observations. There was more wisdom to them than he wanted to acknowledge… for he wasn't wrong to say they'd both changed in countless ways since they had last been in their respective homelands. That the day had come when the Fire Prince would belong in the Water Tribe, while the Tribal Chief's son would belong with the Crown Princess in the Fire Nation… they both had faced difficult, long journeys where they'd made their peace with themselves, with the lengthy journeys they'd undertaken, with every lesson they'd been forced to learn.
Azula had been no different. From the moment they had met, they had clashed and conflicted in countless ways. Her heart was made of ice, he'd said, and his of burning coal, she'd rebuffed, with dry mirth… it was but the beginning of the journey of a lifetime, in which they'd both learned countless lessons, growing stronger side by side, because of each other…
As strong as the bond between their souls might be, as much as their chi flowed together at the same rhythm, in the same pattern, twinned and strengthened by each other's existence, the distance between them certainly might result in both of them changing, growing, beyond the others' expectations. Maybe Azula would truly be cross beyond belief once she knew of what he was up to… though she might also see it coming, to a fault. She always accused him of being too rebellious for his own good, of never doing as he was told… of not following her orders when it mattered most. Yet on that day, as she lay in a puddle of blood, smiling weakly at him, she had been grateful to see him. She hadn't resented him for ignoring her orders, for coming to her rescue… was it too wishful of him to hope she'd feel that way too, this time around?
"I'm not telling you this to discourage you…" Zuko clarified, after Sokka's silent, hunched form beside him unsettled him enough that he felt the need to speak again. "I'm not saying this because I think she shouldn't be saved, Sokka, far from it. That's… not the point. I'm only saying… if you're going to do this, you can't do it blindly, and this is what not doing it blindly entails, too. If you're fighting this war… yes, I understand you'd fight for your wife, believe me, because I'll be doing that too, if in a different way. But if you're mainly thinking of reclaiming what you and Azula once had… I'm sorry, Sokka, but you won't go back to your golden days with her. Even if everything works out… even if she takes you back, if the damage is minimal, that time is gone now. You can't reclaim a past that's already out of your grasp. I know it's nowhere near the same, and you'll even think it's a bad example… but that's one of the things I tried to do with Mai, and until I finally accepted that my chances with her were truly over, I couldn't even breathe without thinking the whole world was playing a horrible trick on me, that none of it was fair. You'd have even more reason to think so than I did, at that point… and no, I'm not saying that I expect Azula to have moved on or anything, not when it's pretty clear the two of you have a once-in-a-lifetime bond, after you spent all those years together… but you really need to consider that the payoff for this war might not be exactly what you're hoping for."
Sokka gritted his teeth, lowering his head. Somehow, he wanted to lash back against Zuko's words, to retort, to demand an explanation regarding why he'd say any of this… because somehow, there was a needling, prickling thought on the back of his head saying Zuko had more reasons to speak all these harsh truths than he had acknowledged so far. It seemed so unlike him to speak this way, to be so thoughtful and considerate, willing to relate to Sokka's struggles… was it truly because he felt Sokka was family now? Or was there more to it than what met the eye?
Still… he wasn't wrong about any of what he was saying. Bitter as it was to admit it… Zuko wasn't wrong. Sokka wouldn't find the same Azula he had parted ways with… he wouldn't find the golden-clad, strong and invulnerable woman she had been before Rhone's attack. He had hoped to help her recover, to stand by her side as she returned to herself, regaining her strength… he had never truly expected she'd change irremediably after that experience, not after he discovered her chi could regenerate. By then, it had felt as though everything would go right back to normal once more, one day… and then it hadn't. Instead, everything had been worse yet, so much worse that Azula's struggles against her chi's corruption hadn't hurt and scarred her soul remotely as badly as her uncle's betraying of them to the Fire Lord, her father's nightmarish punishments and persistent attempts to break her… and she suffered through all those changes alone. He wasn't there to help her handle it this time… he wasn't there to protect her. He couldn't do anything but run headfirst into a war that, as confident he might feel, he had no guarantee he could win it.
Maybe she wouldn't have changed as much as Zuko expected. Maybe it'd be so much easier for him to see the Azula he'd known in her, much easier than for the tribespeople to recognize the Sokka who had returned to their shores. Small changes, perhaps, wouldn't be too difficult to face… and truthfully, he had always been willing and ready to adapt to any challenges he faced in life. This was but another challenge, wasn't it? If so… why would his heart ache just upon thinking of returning to his wife and finding a near-stranger in her stead? Would she feel the same way upon finding him? Was that the source of Zuko's other warning, regarding Sokka's willingness to seek an alliance with the White Lotus? Would Azula find that choice unacceptable, to the point where she might decide Sokka had changed beyond recognition…? Where, perhaps, he would have crossed a line that she might not be able to accept…?
She wouldn't want him to put himself in danger at all, she wouldn't want him to defy the Fire Lord if it meant he might pay for that rebellion with his life. She had warned him already, asked him to stay, to wait for her… yes, she would be furious if he took action, Sokka knew as much from the beginning. But would she decide he had become someone she couldn't possibly love anymore…? Could she? Would she ever regret the mark upon her hand that branded her as his, and the one upon his own, as hers?
He closed his eyes and remembered, evoking her as powerfully as he could: her smiles, her earnest laughter, the brightness of her gold fire, the strength of her beautiful soul. She had sworn she'd always love him… he had sworn he'd always love her.
It didn't mean, simply, that he'd love her while he stood beside her. It meant he'd love her for as long as they lived, no matter what: his love for her was unconditional… and that meant that, even if she stopped loving him, his heart would never belong to anyone but her.
"I understand," Sokka finally said, swallowing hard. "Thanks for the… warning, I guess. It doesn't change the reality of what we have to do, though."
"No, it doesn't," Zuko agreed, nodding. "We all fight for our own reasons. The world needs the war to end, it has needed that for ages. This war is… it's a pointless, dragged-out ambition of a long-dead Fire Lord whose legacy never deserved to exist in the first place. The sooner we break it, the better. What I really want, though… is for you to be prepared for what we'll face. For you to be ready to fight for more than just your own reasons. You'll do right by the world if you lead us into war, if we can win and overcome my father's legions, but if you will lead us all, even the White Lotus… you have to embody their dreams, their hopes for the future, every bit as much as you embody your own. I… I guess I'm not the best person to lecture anyone on leadership, but you led everyone successfully this time because the Tribe wanted what you wanted. The White Lotus? They might not want Azula freed at all. They might not care for her, one way or another, or they might even see her as nothing but our father's puppet, perhaps some would even make the mistake of thinking she's worse than him, without any basis. If they assume you're only fighting for Azula's sake… then you might have trouble convincing them to join you. If you'll unify every faction against the Fire Lord… you'll have to give thought to how you're going to do that. No doubt having the Avatar on your side will help… but it won't be enough with that alone, Sokka."
"Well… good thing I've always wanted this war to end, if so," Sokka said, bitterly. "I… I hoped Azula could make it end once she became Fire Lord. If she'd done it… it would have been the end of all the bloodshed. She would have made it happen, without a doubt. If you fear the only thing I want is setting Azula free, well… the problem is apparent: I can't set her free at all without defeating the Fire Lord, or he'll hunt us down forever. But I wanted this world free from him all the same. Azula and I… we realized why balance was needed. We understood it. We tried to balance our relationship with our responsibilities, with our duties to our nations… and it didn't work out as well as we intended it, but if we'd done it right, none of this would have happened. The world would be closer to safety than it is right now. The only choice ahead is war because the last hope left for a peaceful solution has been cut off entirely. I'm not going to pretend, for the White Lotus's sake, that I'm going to war without Azula in mind: once we find them, I'll make sure they understand her survival, her freedom, are essential for whatever happens with our initiative to change the world. If they intend for her to face the same consequences her father will, I'll just start gathering another army of my own elsewhere, simple enough."
"Sokka…"
"I won't compromise Azula's safety or wellbeing, no matter what," Sokka said, frowning. "This is happening because I let her do things her way, because I sat back and didn't protest when she decided I had to come home and stay here, alone. Because I decided to honor the last of her wishes, of her hopes, for us. I'm not ashamed of loving your sister. I'm not ashamed of wanting her in my life, of wanting to be in hers. And just as I believe the Fire Nation people aren't to blame for the misery your father and your grandfather and all those bastard Fire Lords have inflicted upon the world, I believe they deserve to be saved from the chains that restrain them, without their awareness… and so does Azula. Yes, I can embody the dream of a free world, a balanced world, if that's what you're telling me to do. I can focus my leadership on that notion. But I don't fight for the Water Tribe alone, or for the Earth Kingdom, or for the White Lotus: I fight for them and for a free Fire Nation as well. I fight for the very soldiers we've had to kill or leave to their deaths. So that none of them will have to face that fate ever again… so that no one, in any parts of this world, will have to face the Fire Lord's wrath, greed and horrors ever again. If the White Lotus, led by three Fire Nation men, can't accept that… then they're not worth joining forces with."
Zuko fell silent, unable to respond to that. Sokka hoped the speechlessness meant Zuko would believe his resolve was stronger than he had expected… but he feared that might not be the case. Perhaps Zuko simply wouldn't believe in Sokka's words until he saw that resolve directly, until Sokka's determination yielded results… and he wouldn't see that until they found the White Lotus, to begin with.
"Thank you for your warnings and for saying everything you think I needed to hear," Sokka said, glancing at him sideways. "Admittedly… Katara's not very likely to do that much right now, not when I'm finally taking off to the war she always wanted to fight in. Aang seems more clueless about all this than any of us, and Kino…"
"He's a mess," Zuko said, bluntly. "He means well, and maybe his usefulness as a spy will actually pay off… but I wouldn't be surprised if he can't truly handle the pressure of fighting against his own people to the extent we'll need to, going forward. Maybe he's stronger than I expect, maybe I'm wrong, but…"
"It's not a crime if you're right anyway. In any other circumstances, forcing someone to fight their own nation would be an act of cruelty," Sokka said. "But the two of you would come of your own volition… and you know why the Fire Nation has to be defeated, too. Still, if you're worried about his resolve too…"
"I'll talk with him eventually, but I thought it was more important to talk to you, first," Zuko said, sternly. "I think it's obvious that the burden of leading our forces will fall to you. You're the one with insight on the Fire Nation, on my father… you're the one who comes up with insane solutions for problems on the fly. You're the one who understands the enemy we're dealing with even better than said enemy's own son… so, even if I want Kino to be prepared for what we'll face, clearly, you're the bigger priority."
"Well, I guess if you'll take it upon yourself to prepare everyone for the hardships along the way, it'll only be for the best," Sokka said, with a small smile. "Are you ready, though? You'll have your own hardships to face… you'll probably have to stand between me and your uncle, to name one thing, without even going into how much you're going to miss Suki, Mari and Zi. You'll be fighting your own nation just as much as Kino will be, and who knows if you might even have to confront your father by the end of it all. Are you alright with all of this?"
"I'm not. I know I'm not," Zuko said, earnestly. "Especially with the first things. As much as Azula and I made progress over the last years… Uncle Iroh was always the one person in the Fire Nation who truly felt like family for me all along. He loved me, no matter what anyone says… but I'm not stupid enough to pretend he couldn't have made mistakes. Yet… I'm not sure what I'll do once I meet him again. I don't know if… if I'll be able to see him the same way I used to after knowing what he did to you and Azula. Just like I said earlier, people change… maybe he did when I wasn't around. Not sure I could've kept him from doing any of what he did, to be honest, but…"
"I guess he'd have focused more on you, at least," Sokka said, bitterly. "Might have taken his attention off Azula, but it's pointless to ponder that anymore."
"Yeah," Zuko agreed, glancing at him remorsefully. "Look… I'm not happy with what he's done, I never could be. But I can't forsake him completely either, even if maybe I'm wrong to think that way. He's still my uncle. He practically raised me, during those ten years at sea. His wrongdoings don't erase what he did right…"
"Not for you, I suppose," Sokka said, bitterly. He wasn't sure he could see anything right in the man, not anymore.
"And you'll have to wrap your head around that, too," Zuko said, frowning. "Maybe I'll be proven wrong and he'll be a true monster at this point. Maybe… maybe he really just wanted to use me to fight against my father. But if I'm not wrong… then I'll still care for him as best I can. He's still family for me… just as much as you are. I mean… it's messed up, I know it is, but that's what the Royal Family's always been like. As far as anyone knows, my father could've even killed my mother… even though he says he didn't, but I don't know how she'd still be alive if no one's seen her since the night before my father took the throne."
"Azula thought he'd killed your grandfather, instead," Sokka said. Zuko tensed up, but his eyes didn't betray any remorse at that idea.
"Maybe. As far as Azula told me that day, he wanted me dead," Zuko said. Sokka nodded.
"She said that, too. But somehow, it was Azulon dead, and you alive, while your mother was nowhere to be found on the next day," Sokka finished. Zuko nodded.
"You two sure shared lots of stuff, huh?" Zuko said, with a weak smile. "Pretty sure I've never talked about that with Suki. If I told her now…"
"She'd demand to come along just so she can destroy Azulon's shrines and resting place in retaliation for trying to hurt you?" Sokka finished. Zuko laughed softly and shrugged.
"Possibly. I just don't like talking that much about the past, since… since I was a worse man back then, and we all struggled in many ways when we were younger," Zuko said. "I've talked to her about some things, of course, but… not about that."
"Might be for the best. Maybe one day, when the world is free, you'll be able to talk about a lot more things… such as how Azula messed with you by telling you crazy stories she made up from the armory at the Palace and you refused to believe her."
"She… oh, hell, she really did tell you everything," Zuko said, with a more earnest smile. Sokka chuckled softly. "Well, guess it's no surprise. You two must have bonded heaps over making fun of me, after all…"
"Sometimes, just sometimes…" Sokka said, with a shrug. "We bonded over more things than you can imagine."
"Well, don't get too graphic about those other things I can't imagine, if you'd be so kind…"
"Really? Don't want a few tips? Bet you'd be intrigued if I shared…"
"Sokka, I've accepted my sister had a sex life: that's a big enough step for me, I don't need to know any further details, alright?" Zuko said, with a dry grin. Sokka chuckled and shrugged.
"Your loss, then. I didn't really mean to share anything, though… but it's easy to imagine how she'd tease you about all this if she had the chance, Zuzu."
Zuko huffed: Sokka had called him that before, usually in the same mocking manner Azula did. The last time he'd heard that nickname, though, it was his sister who had used it. She had been messing with him in Whaletail Island… but the vicious malice from their younger years had been absent. However moody he was about it, he had been amused enough, deep down, to find his sister using that nickname in a playful manner that didn't bother him all that much, in the end. It felt the same way now, upon hearing Sokka using the nickname as well… for a moment it almost felt as though Azula actually sat between them, smirking in her usual way, proud of having found a way to poke fun at him, even when she wasn't part of his life anymore.
But in a way, she still was… through Sokka. Through the marriage that, as much as Zuko hadn't known about it so far, became more obvious and apparent the more he thought about Sokka and Azula's choices so far. He warned Sokka that Azula might have changed more than he expected… it seemed she had already changed beyond Zuko's expectations, to begin with. She had become someone willing to sacrifice herself for others, no longer for the sake of advancement, glory or honor, but love. Yes, she had come to love others, profoundly… and the man who sat beside Zuko, missing her more each day they were apart, loved her just as fiercely, just as desperately, with every breath he took.
"Well… if your crazy plans pay off, we'll see to it that she gets the chance to do it," Zuko said, though he shot a warning, wary glare at Sokka. "If you tell her I said that, though…"
"You know I will."
"Ugh, I hate you."
Sokka allowed himself a soft laugh, one he knew Azula would have shared, if only she had been here, too. While Zuko's words held many hard truths, there was a glimmer of hope in them that he couldn't help but reach for. Perhaps he was being wishful to see things that way… but that Zuko would warn him of what might change, that he would make Sokka reason with whatever the future might bring, meant, indirectly, that Zuko believed they could succeed, no matter how long it might take. If even the stern, humorless Fire Nation Prince believed in their possibilities of success, if just a little, it sounded like their efforts to set the world free might pay off after all.
"Say… I know we have to get going as fast as possible," Zuko said, gritting his teeth. Sokka raised an eyebrow, eyeing Zuko with uncertainty. "I know there's no time to waste. But… it'll take us at least another week to prepare fully, won't it?"
"Well… yeah, probably," Sokka admitted, nodding.
"Mind making it a week and a half?" Zuko asked: he sounded unusually nervous now, and Sokka wondered, briefly, if this was what hung over the firebender so far.
"Why, exactly…?" Sokka asked. Zuko gritted his teeth.
"It'll be Mari's birthday. In ten days," he said, softly. Sokka's heart clenched immediately. "I… I know it's bound to feel stupid that I'd ask for us to stay just for that, but…"
"It's not stupid. Don't ever believe it is," Sokka said, grimacing. "Hell… I had no idea. Sorry. But… yeah, we can wait a bit longer. If it's ten days… we'll make things work."
"I don't want to sabotage our plans or cause unnecessary delays, is all…" Zuko said, lowering his head. "I understand why you want to take off as fast as you do. So… if we can only afford those ten days, that's all I could ask for. I just… I really want to be there for her. Thinking she'll go months, maybe even years, without seeing me… it's not easy. I keep wondering if Zi's going to forget about me if I'm gone too long…"
"Your daughters love you, Zuko," Sokka said, eyeing him compassionately. "They're not even old enough to grasp the concept of love but they absolutely do. Maybe Zi is very young, yeah, but… Suki and Mari will make sure she won't forget you. Also… if the chance comes up and you want to come back to see them, you absolutely can do it. If you'd rather not go back until everything's over… well, as soon as it is, you can come back to them, too. I don't want this to take forever either… I don't want to miss out on months or years I could be spending with Azula, as it is. So…"
"We're both hasty and rushed idiots," Zuko said, with a sad smile. "I don't like finding so much common ground with you, you know? I had a lot more fun when I couldn't understand you at all."
"Did you? You always looked more pissed off to me, though," Sokka smiled too. "I'm just saying… I don't want to drag things out either. If you're determined to come along, well… I'll do my damnedest to make sure you can come back to your family as soon as possible,"
"Good to know," Zuko said, nodding. "And… you'll do your damnedest to bring your family together too, right? If things with you and Azula somehow do circle right back to where you left off… you know that there's nothing keeping you from bringing her here. Especially now that she's the whole town's hero…"
"Heh. She'll never believe it," Sokka smiled fondly. "She always thought they'd want nothing to do with her… I always told her I'd straighten out anyone in the Tribe who didn't treat her right. But I guess…"
"You ended up going the extra mile without realizing you had, yeah," Zuko said, raising his eyebrows. "Now my daughter thinks Princess Jing is the strongest firebender in the world… just imagine how starstruck she's going to be when she finds out Princess Jing is her aunt, no less."
"It should be great," Sokka smiled warmly. "Not for you, of course, you'll probably wallow in grief as those two shoot for the stars together while leaving you behind with the rest of us mundane folk… but, you know, Azula's always been sure she's terrible with kids. I've always thought she's just scared of making mistakes with them… so I've hoped that, one day, she'd get to meet a kid she could really grow to love, and who would love her back just as much. I guess I didn't expect the kid could be yours… but I don't see a problem with it, if it is."
"Heh," Zuko smiled, shaking his head. "I did need practice with other kids too before Mari and Zi… Yuudai, remember? I babysat him a few times…"
"And he really liked you, yeah," Sokka remarked, nodding. "I wonder how he'd act around you these days… he became a chatterbox after spending ages unwilling to say a single word."
"Mai must be thrilled," Zuko smirked, and Sokka chuckled, shaking his head.
"I think she is, but the one I saw suffering over it was Ruon Jian. He was the one keeping tabs on the little rascal back during Ty Lee's wedding … and it was clear Yuudai is completely beyond Ruon Jian's control. Mai probably scares him enough that he listens to her once in a while, but Ruon Jian…"
"I suppose he'd think his mother is scarier, yeah," Zuko laughed softly. "I hope the wedding was nice. Azula did tell me it was happening sometime after we met in Whaletail Island, but with everything that's been going on, it didn't even cross my mind to ask if they'd been able to do it or not."
"Yeah… just before the crazy Gladiator and Sponsor Race. Heck, the whole race only happened because of the wedding," Sokka smiled, remembering that bright night fondly. "Remember Shoji, the guy from the counter in the Arena? Ty Lee decided to invite him. At one point in the wedding feast, he told us that the chairman of the League was upset that he couldn't hold the race even though he really wanted to… and Azula, as always, decided she'd step in and ensure it could be held. She was… damn, she was thrilled by the notion of actually being part of the action, for once. I didn't really care much for the idea, at first… but after seeing how enthusiastic she was about it, I couldn't help but get on board with the whole event before long."
"You told Mari something about it, right?" Zuko asked. Sokka nodded. "She talked about a race, a few weeks ago. Before the attack, I think…"
"I did share a lot of what happened, yeah. It was a good event… maybe the best one ever," Sokka said, with a sigh. "Guess it's good that it was the last one altogether, if I think about it that way…"
"You and Azula really won it? Or was that embellishment for Mari's sake?" Zuko asked. Sokka smirked and eyed Zuko skeptically.
"Do you really think I'd feel like embellishing something like that?" Sokka chuckled. "I did skip over a few things, as always, but in general, things happened exactly as I told her they did. Just…"
He'd just eased up on what had happened in the Cave of Two Lovers, of course. Instead of sharing that whole story, exactly as they'd seen it, he had skipped over what happened when they were in the tomb, focusing only on their discovery of the crystals glowing on the cavernous ceiling. Mari had been thrilled by the idea of a glowing cave, enough that she forgot all about how terrifying it was for Jing and Wentai to be separated from their friends because of that strange earthbending creature. The wound of the two secret lovers cut too deeply to share with the girl… he couldn't recount it, not really, without thinking of his own circumstances. They had vowed they would never allow each other to suffer the fate of either Oma or Shu…
And that was exactly what he intended to prevent by fighting in the war as best he could. Yes, he would be in danger, much as Shu had been… but he would think things through, just as Azula always told him to. He'd find solutions to each problem, one by one, without faltering or failing… without discarding his life as readily as he had in the past.
She wouldn't fight alone. She wouldn't end this war on her own. He would take that weight off her shoulders, no matter what kind of monster he might become in her eyes in order to do so.
"Well, I really don't know why it's so easy to tell Mari all these stories," Sokka said, biting his lip. "It's not as painful… maybe because I distance myself from everything by turning memories into stories instead. But, ultimately, I started doing this to cheer up your kid… and telling her about the Cave of Two Lovers didn't seem like a good idea for that purpose."
"Uh, because she wouldn't be cheered up by it?" Zuko asked, uneasy. "I don't think I heard of that place before, and with that name, I'm not sure I want my daughter to hear about it…"
"That's not… not really what I meant," Sokka said, grimacing guiltily. "It's the place where Omashu's founders were laid to rest. Or rather, Oma, the founder… and Shu, the man she loved, who was killed in a war between their two villages."
Zuko's eyes widened. He glanced at Sokka with astonishment, and the Gladiator didn't return his gaze: instead, Sokka glanced at the horizon, scooping the necklace out of his pocket, holding it before him much as he had on the first night he'd climbed this very mound.
"We said we'd never let that happen to each other…" Sokka continued. "And so far… so far there's still hope. I'm still alive, still breathing… and she's bound to be out there, waiting for the right moment to change the world. I'll build that moment for her… we all will. One day, the war will end… and no one will have slain me, and no one will be strong enough to break her. Whatever it takes… we'll see to it that this world changes enough to accept us, just as we were… just as we will be, one day. It's not a story I'll tell your kid yet… but if things pay off, maybe I will once she's older. Once she's ready to understand the kind of toll it takes to fight as hard as Azula already has… as hard as all of us will, once we set out to fight this war."
"Right," Zuko said, nodding almost shyly.
"We don't fight alone… and as steep as the climb may be, it can be done," Sokka determined, firmly. "Whatever comes in the future, Zuko… there's nothing I won't do to save your sister."
Zuko nodded again, in defeat and acceptance. He had given his warnings… and Sokka seemed to have understood them, even if he still remained hopeful, determined in the face of adversities he probably couldn't begin to imagine. The hardest parts of his journey might still wait ahead… but he wouldn't face those hardships alone. Zuko, Katara, Aang and Kino would be there… if just them, at first. One day, maybe, others would join them… one day, he would find his way back to the world he had been torn away from. If someone could do something as incredible as that, it was Sokka.
That a man quite as silly, bold and careless as Sokka would now appear an example of strength, maturity and perseverance truly surprised Zuko. He'd even think it was admirable… if only he didn't see, as well, how much strife and grief still weighed on the Gladiator's heart. But that grief only seemed to strengthen his resolve, at this point… and if that continued to happen, if he continued to transform his fury, his sadness, his disappointment and outrage into drive and strength, Fire Lord Ozai was sure to face a nightmare of an enemy when Sokka finally reached him once again. To think that the Fire Lord, a firebending master and the tyrant that kept the world on its knees, would find in a non-bender his biggest foil, his greatest foe and his truest archenemy… it would seem unthinkable to anyone who didn't know Sokka, to anyone who hadn't witnessed his leadership the way the Water Tribe had during the past weeks. But to those who had, it was perfectly fitting, instead.
"Ten days, then…" Sokka repeated, breathing deeply as he closed his eyes. "In ten days… it'll be the beginning of the end, so to speak."
"Eleven days. It's her birthday on the tenth."
"Uh, right. Eleven, then," Sokka said, with a weak smile. Zuko nodded.
"I'll be ready… we all will be," he said, firmly. "My father's going to regret the day he decided to make an enemy out of you."
"Out of all of us," Sokka said, nodding. "We'll figure things out, day by day… but while I may not know how we'll make everything work out just yet, I do know Fire Lord Ozai's days are numbered. No more war… no more slavery. We'll bring back balance… and we'll save and change this world, whatever it takes."
Zuko breathed out slowly, lowering his head in compliant agreement. Sokka's eyes were set on the horizon, in the distant lines, so far away he could barely see the difference between the ocean and the sky… barely, though. If he narrowed his eyes, just enough, he would see a small glimmer, a hint of brightness, hiding behind the long-lasting shadows that hung over the South Pole. A light, shining as a beacon, urging him to seek it to meet his destiny, or rather, to craft it with his own hands and strength by bringing back the balance the world lacked so direly…
And he would follow it. In eleven days' time, he would chase that hint of light, marching head-on to seek the destiny he had chosen for himself.