Gladiator

by Seyary-Minamoto

In a world where the Avatar wasn't found, the Fire Nation took over two nations and they strive to overcome the last one. Water Tribe warrior Sokka seeks to fight for his people's rights, but he's captured by his enemies. His life is no longer in his hands as he fights as a Gladiator, and his fate will eventually depend on the Fire Nation Princess, who needs him for her own ends...

344. Chapter 344: The North's Aftermath 3

The North's Aftermath

3

"You're sure you should be climbing this cliff, just like that?" Rui Shi asked, eyeing Sokka warily as the Gladiator stepped forward, into the icy trail ahead.

"Might need to go slowly, but… I'm feeling better. This is good exercise, I… I hope," Sokka responded, taking another step forward with his crutches.

The group of firebenders followed him across the oasis's second exit, the icy path carved into the walls that hugged the oasis: the Water Tribe's warriors had escorted them there, constantly wary of leaving the firebenders to their own devices, much less allowing them near the Ocean and Moon Spirits.

But the spirits would go undisturbed on that day as the foreigners marched upwards, to the top of the Northern Water Tribe's cliffs. The tundra beyond the city only saw occasional incursions, the waterbenders could hoist themselves over the natural ice walls easily enough… but they were far too busy now rebuilding the city to spare time to witness what would certainly appear to be an irrelevant venture to them. The Water Tribe had plenty of dead to mourn, numerous survivors to heal as best as possible… whatever happened to the deceased Fire Nation troops was the least of their concerns.

But some of the outsiders didn't feel that way. Upon being told of what Aang had been doing across the week since the battle's conclusion, Sokka had made up his mind to see it for himself. The guilt that ate away at Aang wasn't entirely absent in Sokka, either.

Thus, he marched upwards with the people who wanted to see the Fire Nation's death toll, or at least, whatever of it had been retrievable from the debris of airships, hot-air balloons and warships at sea. Only a handful of survivors from the Fire Nation's attack had been imprisoned – even less than the ones who had survived in the South Pole. It was entirely likely that they would be executed eventually, too.

To this moment, Sokka didn't know whether he'd prefer that or if he'd advocate for their survival. He had done so with the White Lotus prisoners in Ozai's control… he had constantly tried to stop the Fire Nation's violence, only to find it was beyond him to hold it off. He understood all too well how the main instigators of the war, the ones intent on massacring others, had certainly earned the animosity and hatred of countless people who would surely celebrate, for thousands of Fire Nation soldiers had died…

But once he reached the top of that cliff, he knew he'd never be one of them.

His breath caught, and not because of how hard he had pushed himself to get there. Behind him, the firebenders who had accompanied him froze up too, hands covering their mouths…

It was a sea of corpses.

They were mangled, burned, some so disfigured they barely could be recognized as humanoid. Some lacked limbs, whether one or many, some were frozen up, others were charred to the bone. There were so many of them that Sokka's eyes couldn't seem to process the number of dead bodies spread before them, on the Water Tribe's cliffs.

They weren't only soldiers, even if there was no shortage of those either: numerous engineers, sailors, pilots, cooks, even janitors… anyone necessary for the effective and continuous functioning of the many vessels the Fire Nation had committed on this attack. Regardless of seniority, regardless of experience… every single retrievable casualty from the Fire Nation's fleet, whether that of the sea or that of the air, lay before their eyes in the most gruesome display of the true toll of the Fire Lord's war.

"H-how… how could he find so many?" asked one of Zuko's firebenders, shuddering as he braced himself against the breeze, that suddenly appeared to be much colder than before.

"In one week, too," said Haoren, frowning. "It's… it's probably only the ones who were nearby. The ones further into the sea may have sunken too deeply for him to find their bodies."

"Still…" said the first firebender, gripping his chest in horror.

No one on that cliff believed the battle's conclusion had been the wrong one. No one could have ever believed the Fire Nation deserved to win, not now, not across the hundred and ten years of armed conflict that had preceded them. But the reality of war still stung… the number of dead bodies still disturbed them.

"Did he find the Water Tribe ones too?" asked Han, softly.

"He did. They will offer them the funerary rites of their people," Sokka said, his voice deep. "They refused to do the same for them. Which is only natural, considering the circumstances…"

"But what's going to happen with all of their bodies, then?" asked Fei Li, gritting his teeth. "It… it wouldn't make sense to just leave them here, would it?"

"Certainly not," Sokka said: he glanced to the side, spotting a mysterious stream that turned into the oasis's waterfall. He had no idea how spiritually pure that water was… perhaps it would only be purified after it entered the oasis. But in the off chance that the Fire Nation's dead carried any spiritual energies still, presumably dark ones, the safety of the oasis might just be compromised if all these corpses were kept here. "They'll have to be disposed of, or sent elsewhere."

"Sent elsewhere?" Rui Shi asked. "How? There have to be over a thousand bodies here. Neither us nor the Water Tribe would have the resources to move so many of them. Our hot-air balloons would need to do hundreds of trips… we don't have the fuel to afford that. Their sailors are out of commission, from what you've explained… and I question that they'd wish to have anything to do with this. So how…?"

"I don't know," Sokka admitted, closing his eyes. "I don't know."

Rui Shi frowned, recognizing that Sokka was in no mood to talk anymore. He breathed deeply, watching as the Gladiator stepped forward in his crutches, walking among the dead bodies.

The damage rendered most of their faces unrecognizable. The design of their uniforms and outfits, whenever they hadn't been burned, made it easier to guess their ranks, but most of them were faceless… no identity, no names, nothing to evidence who they were, or what their stories had been. How many of them had families? How many of them had friends or lovers? How many would be mourned deeply by people who had no hand in this catastrophe, the people who didn't truly know what kind of carnage took place in the frontlines their loved ones had been sent to?

This was what the glory of the Fire Nation amounted to. A landscape of corpses, destruction anywhere the eye could see. But to think that, in order to stop them, Sokka would need to wield even more destruction against them… he snarled as he continued pacing between them, eyes shifting from one to the next, searching for familiarity. Out of so many dead… at least one of them had to be him. Once he laid eyes upon the man, once he confirmed he hadn't escaped – and how could he have? He had been riding on the very first exploded airship, it wasn't likely that he could've gone anywhere –, he would finally let that reality sink in. He would finally know how to let go of his resentment, of his bitterness, of…

A golden glint, in a dead body three rows away.

Sokka's skin crawled as he tightened his fists over his crutches. He breathed deeply… and he stepped purposefully forward, unable to keep his body from trembling violently.

The armor had been scorched, but it was the most ornate of them all. It was broken, though… in the places Sokka had cut through during their battle. His features were surprisingly distinguishable… though he was missing one eye, also due to Sokka's attacks.

Perhaps he had simply fallen off the airship once the fire had spread. Perhaps he had toppled down as gravity reclaimed him. The power that struck the airship, so strong as to fling it back and halfway out of the city's area as it crashed into the ice, might have tossed Zhao overboard, off the catwalks at some point… and straight into the waters of the city's shores.

Had he thought about how wrong this outcome was? Had he let himself reason with the reality of what was happening before the flames and the ice stole his life for good? Had he regretted his choices? Had he realized he should have kept his promise…? Had he at least bothered sending a final wish and hope for his daughter's happiness and safety before being claimed by the elements that brought on his demise?

There was no answer to any of those questions. Sokka would never find one… he'd never be able to reason with the man, to talk sense into him, to open his eyes to reality and accept the inevitable doom of his cause and enterprise. He would never apologize for any of the harm he had wrought… he would never make amends for everything he had done to hurt Azula.

The crutches fell at either side of his body: Sokka dropped on his knees by Zhao's corpse, his brow drawn together into a conflicted scowl. It should have been easy to only think of the information War Minister Qin had given them, on Zhao's behavior ever since Sokka found him in the oasis… to focus solely on Zhao's worst, to forget about all the times when he wasn't a hindrance, a nightmare, a complication in his way.

But kneeling beside his damaged corpse brought back thoughts of the man he had been before. Of the man who had spoken to Sokka in that jail cell, the very man who had granted him the only means of survival when he had been about to face certain doom. If Zhao hadn't persuaded Ozai of letting Sokka die by the hand of his gladiator, Sokka wouldn't have killed Combustion Man… he wouldn't have escaped. His execution would have been guaranteed. He owed Zhao for that, at least…

He was the man who had scoffed at him when Sokka first spoke to him, the very man who had changed tunes after meeting Hahn, struck by curiosity over why Azula and Ozai treated Sokka with such unusual respect and dignity. The very man who had offered him a chance to confront his mother's killer, an opportunity Sokka had never taken him up on. He had allowed Sokka to witness the burning of Rhone's body… he had kept his silence when he had realized Azula loved him. Even before that, he had never revealed to Ozai that Sokka harbored obvious feelings and a markedly unprofessional interest in Azula.

How had it come to this? How had he become such an irrational, unreasonable bastard in the space of a year, less than that? Had he always been one? Azula certainly had believed as much, she had made it clear from the moment Sokka learned of Zhao's existence. She had never trusted him, never wanted to rely on him… she had always believed he was an accomplished liar, hiding his truths behind charm that concealed sneers and disdain. His arrogance had been his undoing… his willingness to become more than human, to attain immortality somehow, had destroyed him. Had that always been his true self, then? Or had he lost his way at some point throughout Ozai's spree of mad, vindictive rage? Had Azula been right from the start, and he had always been lying, conniving, deceiving them all…? Or had Zhao been a more complicated man than that?

"Doesn't suit you," Sokka whispered, reaching out to touch Zhao's hairpiece – the man's own hairpiece. At the very least, Ozai hadn't given him Azula's, it seemed.

He breathed deeply, shaking his head and glaring at the man's lifeless body. Fists balled over his lap, Sokka wished he wouldn't regret matters as strongly as he did. Zhao had chosen this path… he had committed to it mindlessly. He was responsible for this outcome… and yet how he wished another one had been possible. How he wished this sea of corpses wasn't real…

"You were a stubborn piece of shit in the end. You should've listened. You should've…" Sokka said, shaking his head and breathing heavily. "You've done things no one should ever forgive you for. I know I won't. You made a promise… if you had failed at everything else, but you had only kept that one, I might have had it in me to… t-to not hate you as much as I do. But this is how you wanted it in the end, huh? This is…"

Sokka breathed deeply, shaking his head and burying his face in his hands. Nothing he said would help. Nothing would change the truth, the depth of the wound… nothing would change the fact that he had killed Zhao, over and over, until he had finally died, faltering in a field of flames.

Now, without him, Azula would be Crown Princess again. She had lost that position … and now she would regain it, perhaps until Ozai found someone else to force into the role of her husband. Now she was a widow, somehow, even when Zhao had never been her husband in any sense that mattered. Without Zhao as a buffer, what role would Ozai force her to play? She was already advising him, surely against her will… what more would Ozai expect from her? What more would he demand from her?

An immediate fear sprung up in his heart at that thought… one he tried to placate and block at once, no matter how obvious it might be. It was a possibility he didn't want to acknowledge at all, for if he did…

He had one weakness. Ozai had one weapon he knew he could use against him.

Considering how poorly he had treated his daughter so far, Sokka didn't doubt that he'd jump at the chance of using it.

Sokka shuddered, fists tight over his lap as he glared at Zhao… at the man who should have been Azula's defense, and yet he had become her biggest threat instead. Had he survived, Azula would have remained tied down to him unless Ozai ever had enough sense to allow their sham marriage to end. He would have continued to hurt her, to betray his promises, to be the worst husband he could ever have embodied… but with his death, Azula had been rendered even more vulnerable than before. Even if Sokka had enough foresight to think of such things beforehand, though… even then, Zhao had wanted him dead just as badly as Sokka had tried to kill him. His mad words, his desperate claims, his wild accusations, all suggested as much…

Footsteps stopped right behind him. Sokka didn't raise his gaze to find out who it was.

"He's in better shape than I thought he'd be," Rui Shi said. Sokka frowned. "Considering the fire…"

"And that I killed him about five times before he actually died?" Sokka asked. Rui Shi swallowed hard.

"Yeah. There's that, too," he said, eyes raking over the wounds upon Zhao's body, caused by a sharp blade rather than by the flames that had consumed the Fire Nation's airborne and navy fleets.

"He… he had lost his mind," Sokka said. Rui Shi eyed him with uncertainty. "The man I fought that day… he wasn't the one who allowed me to fight for my life in the Dome, where anyone else would have had me killed without a chance of survival."

"Need I remind you that there wasn't meant to be a chance of survival?" Rui Shi asked. "You were set up to fail."

"But I didn't," Sokka said. "Not on that day. But somehow… even when we managed to save the Northern Water Tribe from total annihilation, it still feels like I failed."

"You… you didn't fail. You especially didn't fail him," Rui Shi said, glaring at Zhao's corpse. "Whatever compassion you may feel for him is your business, Sokka… but he was not a good man. You know it as well as I do, you knew it all along…"

"He's been hellbent on destroying the Northern Water Tribe for over a decade. I know that," Sokka said, closing his eyes. "I'm probably stupid for thinking that there had to be another way, but…"

"I wouldn't say stupid… you wish the cost to stopping him hadn't been so steep," said Rui Shi. Sokka breathed deeply. "All these soldiers… all these people have died due to the hubris of two men: the Fire Lord, who sent them here, and the Admiral, who refused to surrender when you allowed him to. Neither one ever cared to open their eyes to the reality of war. Neither one thought the casualties mattered other than in strategical terms: losing soldiers is only a problem if it means the battle is lost. If it weren't? They'd call it a perfectly agreeable sacrifice."

The word rang a bell in Sokka's heart as he snarled, an unwanted memory returning to his mind: Azula's life pending by a thread, the corruption threatening to steal her away from the living as he held her in his arms, desperate for a solution… and weeks later, Ozai's official announcement had featured one line that still filled Sokka's battered heart with rage:

No sacrifice for the betterment of the Fire Nation will ever be in vain. Our March of Civilization will never cease.

"To think the only way to fight back against that piece of shit is to render those sacrifices useless…" Sokka said, shaking his head. "I… I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to do anything she wouldn't forgive me for. But the more we fight… the more I want him dead. The more I wish I could just rid the world of him… regardless of my own promise to Ursa. But then… if I break that promise, could I become just as bad as this bastard was?"

"Do you really think that's possible?" Rui Shi asked. Sokka shuddered.

"I don't know. It might be," he said, fists tight over his lap. "Zhao… he thought Azula and I had planned everything. He was out of his mind, screaming nonsense, saying things just to rile me up… he claimed Azula had replaced me in a heartbeat, he had no idea what he was talking about. He was deceived all along… and he never even understood it. He died seeing monsters on walls where there were only shadows. I think I see Ozai clearly as he is… and yet hurting him, killing him, is going to hurt countless people. It's going to hurt Azula."

"Isn't it possible that, after all this time, she might hate the Fire Lord for everything he has inflicted upon you all?" Rui Shi asked.

"I know her, Rui Shi," Sokka said, closing his eyes. "I know… I know she loves him. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't even deserve to call himself her father. She may know this, on an objective level… that doesn't mean she can break free from him entirely. I want to believe that… that what she's done so far is for the sake of the Fire Nation people, above all else. But there may be a chance that her loyalty to her father hasn't fully broken. That she still would want him to survive, regardless of everything he's done. Even if she understood… even then, she'll still be likely to believe there has to be another way out. She went back to the Fire Nation, believing he'd hold back his cruelty simply because she's his daughter, and she hoped to shield others by doing so… she was wrong, though. And she's still reaping the consequences of that mistake… consequences that even include Ozai forcing her to become my enemy."

Rui Shi froze. Sokka snarled as he pushed himself up without his crutches, his shoulders hunched as he averted his gaze from the sea of corpses. The former guard behind him seemed to have failed to anticipate what Sokka had just said, though.

"She wouldn't," Rui Shi said. "Even if… if it came down to it, she knows the Fire Nation is wrong. If she ever met you on a battlefield somehow, and I question that it could happen, she would likely turn on her heels and join you…"

"She would never betray the Fire Nation," Sokka said. Rui Shi's eyes widened.

"I did," he said. "So did all her guards. And we did it for her sake."

"She'd likely say you were wrong to fight for her at all," Sokka smirked sardonically, looking at Rui Shi with disbelief. The firebender frowned, tensing up as he realized that Sokka wasn't wrong… as he realized he was reading through Azula perfectly right now.

The Gladiator breathed deeply, closing his eyes as he attempted to still himself. He'd likely fail at it… he'd likely falter. For as long as Azula was under Ozai's threats, for as long as she could be used against him, there would be no peace, no chance to catch his breath at leisure... for even if he couldn't move out yet, even if he couldn't take any action against Ozai for the foreseeable future, his restless heart would rage with need to set out and find her as soon as he was able, to set her free from the chains she had walked into for her people's sake.

"What will you do, then, if it comes to that?" Rui Shi asked. "Zhao was wrong to think you and her had planned any of this… she would have never approved of what you're doing. Your alliance with the White Lotus…"

"The five times I've gone to war against her nation. The countless people I've killed," Sokka finished for Rui Shi. His friend tensed up. "I wonder if she'd forgive me… I wonder if she thinks I'd never forgive her. Things are so much more complicated than this bastard thought they were…"

Sokka glared at Zhao's body one more time. The twisted mind of the Admiral had been beyond help… but how he wished the man had remained sound of mind long enough to let Sokka understand more of what was happening in the Fire Nation. Zhao's mockery… were there hidden kernels of information in it? Had any of what he said concealed a deeper meaning than he had reasoned with so far?

"He… he wanted to kill Ozai."

The realization hadn't truly sunken in. Rui Shi frowned, and Sokka scoffed, shaking his head.

"He told me so. That he'd kill them… Ozai, Azula, and our child," Sokka gritted his teeth. "He knew it was mine. He knew… even if it likely was only born after he set out to the north. Must be why he was so sure that everything was our plan to ruin his life. Azula… she agreed to marry him mainly so he could be a smokescreen for our daughter to be born safely. But he was daft as fuck if he thought… if he thought I would have ever allowed her to return to the Fire Nation if I'd known she was with child. I can't imagine you guys would have agreed with her plans if you'd known…"

"Heh… probably not," Rui Shi said. "She would have been quite displeased…"

"She would've been free to rage at me all she cared to… I barely know how I found the strength to let her sail away from me when she did," Sokka said, with a deep sigh. "But Zhao… what the hell did Ozai do to make Zhao hate him so much? They were best friends since they were teenagers… Zhao was Ozai's choice for Azula's husband simply because he was the only person Ozai trusted enough to become his heir. The entire thing was meant to be political, so… why did it fail? Why did it backfire so badly that Zhao was plotting to… to become immortal? The immortal ruler of the Fire Nation?"

Rui Shi frowned. He folded his arms over his chest before shaking his head.

"No one ever thought the Fire Lord was a reasonable man. His temper has always been known to be a thing of nightmares," he said. "His discovery of your relationship with the Princess most likely caused him to lash out violently at anyone in his vicinity, friend or foe alike. Who knows what happened, exactly…? But I wouldn't be surprised if it were the Fire Lord's fault, above all else. Not that Admiral Zhao has always been renowned for being a smart, controlled man… if anything, he was always famous for his reckless firebending."

"They were a team. Suddenly, they're not," Sokka said, scowling. "Maybe Zhao misunderstood the power of the oasis's water… but the immortality he believed would be in his grasp couldn't have been the only thing he had going for his bid into becoming Fire Lord. If he truly was ready to kill Ozai… maybe he had other allies. Maybe he had support elsewhere. It's hard to believe that he would make such a bid for seizing power otherwise…"

"Or perhaps he was already that crazed, thinking everything was within his reach when that wasn't the case," Rui Shi said. Sokka shrugged.

"Maybe. Though, whatever the case…" he said, grinding his teeth. "We've stopped him now. He's done. He has no chances to make up for everything he did wrong. The lives he stole… he didn't pay for them with his own, he wasn't worth the thousands he killed. The people he damaged, in whatever way he did, will never find the relief they needed. Still…"

Rui Shi watched him with uncertainty, wondering if Sokka was going to say something else, perhaps something undeservedly compassionate… but the Gladiator fell silent as his eyes shifted away from Zhao.

The expression of his face changed. His resentful resignment suddenly shifted into sheer horror… into deep anguish, sadness, furnished with deep denial.

He stepped away from Zhao… and he approached the lifeless body of Captain Zhen.

He fell to his knees heavily, merely a handful of rows away from Zhao. His whole body, aching still, trembled as he stared in disbelief at the only man he had known who served in the airship fleet. The man whose son had been a gladiator enthusiast… the boy he had trained, until he relocated to a distant city in the colonies so his father could serve Ozai's airship fleet.

He had only trained Huiwen to help Azula. To build a connection for her, so she could have one more potential ally to fall back on, should it be necessary.

Now, that potential ally was one more corpse in the tally of the north's massacre.

This time, he didn't need to ask himself who would mourn him. This time, it was clear as day to Sokka that Huiwen's heart would break once he knew…

He covered his mouth with one hand, the other arm wrapping around his stomach as heated tears burned in his eyes: the very thought of that boy, waiting for his father to return from the war… he had been that boy once, desperate and eager for signs of his father in the distance. He had wanted to be a warrior, sailing into war, the hero that would defeat the Fire Lord… he had never imagined himself in the role of the man responsible for the death of other children's fathers, the one they would resent and hate once they understood why their parent would never come home again. Whether Sokka was in the right or wrong side of the war, it wouldn't matter to Huiwen… for that was his father. Zhen was Huiwen's father… and the little boy he had grown so fond of would grow up to despise him, to hate the war he had unleashed against the Fire Lord: the strength Sokka had helped him develop would be used in service of the Fire Nation loyalists, hellbent on his destruction.

Azula's adoptive daughter had lost her father that day, too. Countless others had likely lost theirs. If Sokka pressed on further… then he would kill Azula's father, too.

Why did it have to come to this? The same words seemed to reiterate in his mind as tears spilled from his eyes. Why had this damn war been necessary at all? No, but it hadn't been. It never had been… it had only ever been promoted, pushed forward, by the senseless monsters who would never set foot on a battlefield they wouldn't win, like Sozin, like Hizuo, like Azulon, like Ozai. None of them were ready to sacrifice anything that mattered, or to serve a purpose greater than themselves. Not a single one of them would shed a single tear for the dead on the battlefields… Iroh himself was proof of that. Until losing his own son, the deaths of others had been an unfortunate afterthought of war. He hadn't changed, hadn't been any different from them, until then. And even so, he had still been ready to sacrifice what hardly mattered to him, be it his own niece or Sokka's life, in order to achieve whatever he had set out to do.

To think he'd have to become worse than them to defeat them… to think he needed to gather sufficient strength to destroy people whose entire purpose appeared to be the destruction of others. The thought of ever being responsible for any massacre on par with this one, whether due to his failure to arrive on time to defend the Water Tribe, or his failure to force a surrender that could have prevented the Fire Nation's forces from being annihilated as they had been…

He had already caused so many deaths, so long ago, in the Amateur Arena. It had hardened him… it had convinced him that he never wanted to kill again. He had blinded himself to that knowledge after he was forced to slay Rhone… he had forced himself to remain focused on the mission ever since he fought to defend the South Pole, where he had also been responsible for the deaths of thousands. Omashu hadn't been as bad as it could have, the same was true to the Northern Air Temple… though Ba Sing Se was another matter.

Even so, nothing compared to this, and it terrified him to think that something would, one day. Whatever he had thought his final battle against Ozai might look like… its outcome might not be too different from this one.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't keep going down this path… with the same violence and cruelty of the Fire Lords. What kind of person could pretend to build a new world if he couldn't find a way to do it other than by playing the enemy's game? He was failing his own purpose, failing her…

But maybe it was Azula who would build that new world. Maybe she would be the one to put a stop to the violence once he finally set her free.

Before that happened, though… before he finally found her, there was something he could yet do. The one thing that might prove that, regardless of the cruelty he had to be capable of, he wasn't like them. He wasn't another heartless tyrant like the Fire Lords. The deaths of the war weighed on him… every single one of them did. The loss of life so far couldn't be justified… and it couldn't go to waste, either. In order to ensure that no one else would have to die, in order to protect as many people as he could in the future, he would have to fight on. Even if it meant crossing blows with people who had only ever been kind to him, like Zhen… even if it meant killing people who had once helped save him, for whatever reason they had, like Zhao.

As the tears dried, his resolve was made. His heart, so torn, so damaged, didn't get in the way of finding an answer, as strange an answer as it might be.

He rose back to his feet: Rui Shi and the other firebenders hadn't moved much from where they were, even if some appeared to be as emotionally affected by the countless bodies as Sokka was.

"Sokka…" Rui Shi called him, approaching and handing him his crutches. The Gladiator's tearful eyes met his as he stood by the body of the man who had once helped him save Azula from Rhone…

Zhen deserved better than being left to rot in the middle of nowhere, for the elements to claim him, for beasts to devour him, for his body to sink into the depths of the ocean.

Even if he was gone from this world, his body deserved to return to his home… his family deserved the chance to say goodbye.

"I have to speak to Chief Arnook… and Master Pakku," Sokka said, his voice frail as he tried to embody as much determination as he could muster. "I have an idea."

---

Daylight shone brightly through the windows. The weather was pristine, with a powerful sun scorching strongly in the sky. It seemed entirely incompatible with the atmosphere that permeated the Fire Lord's study, however: cold darkness seemed to syphon away any potential effect the sunlight could have had on the people currently sitting within the room.

Aonu trembled as he spoke: he had sent word to the Fire Lord of the events transpiring in the Northern Water Tribe's frontlines… but knowing the man had forewarning for the information he had to share didn't make matters any easier, not even if Princess Azula sat within the room as well.

"Out of three-hundred and forty-three ships sent to the Northern Water Tribe… fifty-two have returned to our shores," Aonu announced.

Ozai sat tensely, his brow heavily furrowed, elbows on his table, hands over his mouth, fingers intertwined. He didn't react to Aonu's statement. The Princess, however, flinched.

"That's all?" she asked. "How…?"

"The exact explanation remains… a mystery," Aonu said, closing his eyes. "I have personally questioned the captains of five of the returning vessels. The survivors are deeply shaken by what they witnessed in the North Pole. As far as all their accounts go… someone set the sky on fire."

"The Avatar," Ozai said, curtly. Aonu swallowed hard.

"That's the most likely culprit, yes," he said. "The exact events remain a blur. The Fire Nation's forces were gaining on the Water Tribe's. Admiral Zhao, however, disregarded all directives that urged him to withhold his attack until dawn. He started it days earlier, and the sunlight's power never offered our firebenders further aid in this mission because of that."

"Stubborn bastard," Ozai said, though his voice didn't carry the heavy resentment it often did. Azula's heart sank upon noticing that.

"Is that why he failed?" Azula asked. Aonu shrugged.

"Nobody knows. If the Avatar alone is responsible for the upset that turned a victorious battle into a massacre for our forces, then I sincerely doubt the outcome would have been any different if he waited a little longer," he said.

"War Minister Aonu is correct," Ozai said, bitterly. "If they had such power at their disposal, it's unlikely that the sun would have aided us any further. If anything, it might have helped him, considering he set the sky on fire."

"The working theory for what he did is… he took advantage of one of the attacks from an airship," Aonu explained. "He bent the fire and air back into the airship… and then he spread the fire across the entire airship fleet."

"The entirety of it? You're quite sure of that?" Ozai asked. Aonu gritted his teeth.

"No survivors from the Air Force have reported back from duty."

Ozai closed his eyes, his nose twitching with rage and displeasure. Azula, sitting by Aonu, stared into the horizon, lips parted. A cold vacancy spread within her body: there could never be a true winner in war… but somehow, it seemed as though both sides had lost this time.

"How much damage was done against the Northern Water Tribe?" she asked.

"A considerable amount," Aonu confirmed. "The days of continuous battling, with support by the Air Force, allowed our troops to wear down all their defenses. It's unknown how many casualties there were on either side, but the death toll was considerable for them as well."

"Primarily, of waterbenders?" Ozai asked. Aonu nodded. "So, one of the Gladiator's potential sources of help was, indeed, crippled and cut short?"

"Indeed, but… it's not an advantage we can exploit now," Aonu said. Ozai's eyebrows twitched. "Our resources have decreased alarmingly after this battle. Our fleet is… is at its smallest numbers ever since the Hundred Year War began."

Ozai breathed deeply, releasing the air quite noisily as silence settled within the room. Azula hugged herself as that encroaching coldness within her threatened to overpower her. She felt lightheaded… she felt incorporeal. It was as though none of this could be real… even if the evidence said otherwise, it couldn't be real.

"The fate of most the leaders of the fleet is unknown," Aonu said. "Only the warships that were at the rearguard of the formation managed to escape unscathed as the fire fell upon the majority of the fleet. Ships had been sunken by waterbenders at first, but the losses had been manageable until then. It seems there was also a group of rogue firebenders, either traitors who belonged to the fleet that turned against it, or enemies and rebels riding their own hot-air balloons, intent on striking back against our forces when they weren't expecting it. Some of those attacks caused hot-air balloons and even airships to collapse well before the fire struck."

"With the Mechanist among them… as well as whatever resources Ba Sing Se offers, it doesn't seem too farfetched that the Gladiator's forces would arrive in hot-air balloons to sabotage ours. I would sooner believe that than expect it to be the product of a sudden insurrection solely within the Air Force," Ozai said, shaking his head. "Were there any signs of his army? Anything else to suggest his direct involvement?"

"Nothing the survivors can attest to," Aonu said, shaking his head. "But the Avatar's presumed intervention suggests he must have been there. It's hard to imagine the Princess would have failed to predict that. As for the White Lotus army, it doesn't appear to have accompanied him. As expected, they lack the possibility to transport troops across the water. The damage the Water Tribe's navy sustained should ensure that it continues to be that way for some time, at least."

"We stopped him from seizing a considerable advantage, then," Ozai said, with a heavy breath. "It seems to be too puny a victory, frankly. The cost was too great. A mere inconvenience in his way is… it's bound to amount to nothing. If his army couldn't even join this battle, as expected… then that means they continue to wreak havoc across the Colonies."

"It's likely. We have received no word just yet about new troop movements since the fall of Gaoling," Aonu said. "But it's bound to happen sooner than later."

"How about the weapons' development?" Ozai asked.

"Takase had a model for hand cannons that was easy to repurpose for military use," Aonu said. Ozai hummed. "His tests of the modifications had positive results thus far. It should be possible to begin distributing these weapons within less than a month."

"Finally, something promising…" he said, and yet he knew that wasn't remotely as good news as he wanted to think it was: if the Avatar had already subverted the use of their volatile weapons once, he could do it again.

"I can only hope it will be," Aonu said, breathing deeply. "As for further information… the reason why it was easy to confuse the likely rebels on hot-air balloons with our own troops is because they fought using firebending. This has led me to suspect that this was the same group that assisted the Gladiator in the Northern Air Temple."

"Of course it is," Ozai huffed. Azula gritted her teeth, fists tightening. "Which virtually confirms that he's there now, of course. Him, the Avatar… his closest associates, I'd imagine, save for the Blind Bandit, who was in Gaoling instead."

"Whatever happened in the battlefield… we might never know for sure," Aonu said, glancing at Azula warily. "But… the likelihood is that there were very few survivors, if any, from the wreckage of the Air Force. If, as is expected, Admiral Zhao was deeper within the city than the others, going by how far his airship went, then…"

"His airship most likely is the one that was destroyed initially," Ozai reasoned. "Which means…"

Azula shuddered. The shiver that rushed through her body caught her off-guard as Ozai's silence sank in.

For a moment, no one spoke. Azula kept her head down… Ozai kept his eyes on her. Aonu's gaze flickered between them, instead.

"It's… it's possible he has been captured," Aonu said. Ozai grunted.

"Even if he had been given the great honor of becoming a prisoner to our enemy, he's lost to us now, every bit as much as War Minister Qin is. And that's only if he did survive… which he might not have."

"There's no way of knowing… is there?" Azula asked. Aonu grimaced and shook his head.

"I'm afraid not. The battle happened fifteen days ago," he said. "What information we've obtained isn't sufficient. The survivors are bound to be under Water Tribe control now… they can't tell us who lived or who died. We're stumbling blindly."

"So… for the time being, it means that any sailor or soldier who wasn't aboard the ships that survived is missing in action," Ozai said. Aonu nodded. "You'll have to handle organizing messengers to deliver this information to their families."

"Yes, of course," Aonu said, his heart clenching. That certainly wasn't a task he looked forward to.

Azula gritted her teeth. There was at least one relative of the missing soldiers that wouldn't receive a hawk from the Royal Messengers' Office. One person she'd have to tell the truth to, personally…

She hadn't thought it was possible for this battle to end with a favorable outcome for any of the involved parties. She had known this would happen, she had understood it… and even so, she had caused a calamity in the North Pole by directing her father and his forces there. Sokka was likely to have been there. Had he come across Zhao? The idea nearly made her throw up. If they had crossed paths, had Zhao attempted to kill him? Had Sokka fought back? Was it possible that either one had succeeded…?

The very thought shook her to her core. Sokka couldn't have faltered against Zhao… but if he hadn't, would he have killed Zhao, outright? Would he have had it in him to do it? If so…

The implications, the meaning of Zhao's potential death, had threatened to break her resolve to remain as professional as possible during the meeting. It was odd to realize only now that, as much as she had grown to hate the man, she didn't want him dead if only for Rei's sake. The idea of their divorce had certainly been welcome, her father had brought it up, she hadn't doubted once that it would be the right choice and that, if he returned, Zhao would agree… but now it seemed that he wouldn't come back. If he didn't… then there would be no need for a marriage's annulment or dissolution. Ozai wouldn't have to do anything to that end… for her husband would be dead.

Being free from Zhao would be welcome… but was this the way she wanted it to come about? Even if it hadn't been Sokka's direct responsibility… could she turn a blind eye, deflect all responsibility of her own, no matter if he hadn't been the one to deliver the final blow?

Even if Zhao had been wrong about the accusations he had leveled at her, the man's demise would only serve to further enhance his theory that she wanted him dead… that she was betraying the Fire Nation and scheming with the man she loved to tear the world apart so that they could rule its ashes together. That was, surely, what Zhao had assumed…

Would Ozai think that way as well? Would he believe she'd betray her people to return to Sokka?

"We shall summon the council for a new meeting," Ozai said, breathing deeply. "I would like for the three of us to determine the upcoming path we shall commit to beforehand, but it's possible that, with the circumstances being as limited as they are, we may need the council's voice to choose our course."

"Perhaps, but Princess…" Aonu called her. Her eyes shifted towards him warily. "You were able to predict him to perfection so far, save for the Avatar's abilities, of course…"

"I don't believe anyone could have truly predicted the extent of the Avatar's abilities. I certainly never fathomed anything like this would be within his reach," Azula said, lowering her gaze.

"What would the Blue Wolf's next choices be, though?" Aonu asked. "Can you make any guesses as to what else he would do, now that his relentless advance appears to have been stalled out?"

"I… I don't know," Azula said, closing her eyes and rubbing her brow with her fingertips. "He didn't bring the bulk of his forces, so… it stands to reason that those left behind in Ba Sing Se would set their sights on Yu Dao. It's the third most important city in the continent, setting it free would as good as break the Fire Nation's control over the Earth Kingdom lands entirely. Carrying on from there to Garsai would be easy enough…"

"Would it be possible for him to rejoin those forces, if he truly had been in the North Pole?" Ozai asked.

"Past reports of what appears to be a sky bison among his forces would suggest that he could travel at ease," said Aonu. "If the Northern Water Tribe fails to offer him what he seeks, he's wont to search elsewhere."

"That is, if he's not heading those forces right now anyway," Ozai said, shaking his head.

"Our main concern should be bolstering those defenses, then," said Aonu. Ozai scoffed.

"The forces that survived the North Pole's assault were meant to assist in Yu Dao, as well as Pohuai Stronghold, upon their victory," he said. "A victory that was all but assured until the Avatar's involvement. We may need to broaden recruitment efforts… or perhaps resort to conscription, outright. Whether retired soldiers or young academy recruits… women, too, should it come to that."

Azula eyed him in surprise: conscripting women was entirely unheard of in the Fire Nation, perhaps in all four nations, even. The ones who had enlisted into the Fire Nation army had offered their services freely, whether those who joined the Enforcers or the ones in the Domestic Forces… none had been forced to take part in the Fire Nation's armed forces against their will. That her father would so much as consider the idea was a rather strong message regarding how trying their current circumstances had become.

"I… I understand. That's something the council shall have to discuss, I'm sure," Aonu said, nodding. "I will send word at once and summon them for…"

A knock on the door, right in the middle of such a serious meeting, caused Aonu to fall silent. Ozai's eyes narrowed with disapproval as one of his guards pushed the door open.

"My lord… I'm sorry to disrupt your meeting," he said, bowing his head as another soldier entered the chamber: he seemed nervous, but his fear of facing Ozai's wrath didn't stop him from approaching Aonu.

"W-War Minister…" said the man, whose uniform gave away that he worked for the Royal Messengers' office. "This missive arrived just now. It's urgent."

Ozai's displeasure increased, though not over the interruption anymore. Aonu nodded as he took the scroll the man offered, unfolding it quickly.

"Read it aloud," Ozai commanded, unwilling to waste any time when he rather wanted to learn whatever this urgent matter happened to be.

"Of course," Aonu nodded: the scroll was small, but the information upon it would be no less vital for it. "Fire Nation war prisoners from the battle of the north have been liberated in the northwestern Earth Kingdom."

Aonu stopped upon reading only the first sentence. Azula and Ozai froze up as well, as did the guard and the messenger who had yet to leave the room. Aonu swallowed hard, forcing himself to continue reading.

"The… the enemy sent them, along with… with our dead."

Ozai pushed himself up from his seat at once. His wide eyes met Aonu's, who stared at him in confusion as an unsettling, cold chill seemed to overtake the room, even in such a warm day.

"It says…" Aonu swallowed hard, returning to the letter again. "Says they were brought to the northernmost shores of the Colonies. The survivors seem to have sent word from one of the villages nearby, but… I… I don't understand."

"Well, you will," Ozai said, scowling as he straightened himself up. "The meeting we discussed will take place later: gather sufficient ships, ensure the ones still nearby can escort you there safely. If this is a trap…"

"We will be cautious," Aonu said, nodding towards Ozai. "I will set out at once."

"Go. Now," Ozai said: his face was pale… his knuckles protruding noticeably from his tight fists.

The guard kept the door open as the messenger and Aonu took off without another word. Ozai shivered where he stood, vertigo gripping him… a trap? Was that bastard truly capable of something so lowly such as using the Fire Nation's dead to bait their other forces into a trap? Just as they were assuming the Gladiator couldn't have been ready to make another move quite so soon, he had proved otherwise quite so quickly…

His eyes shifted towards Azula: she was rigid, lips parted, eyes twitching slightly as she no doubt grew lost in her own thoughts. For a moment, he pondered leaving her as she was… but if she could read anything into what the Gladiator had done this time, Ozai needed to know it at once.

"Can it be a trap?" he asked. Azula tensed up.

"I… I don't know," she admitted. "If this is… if this is the Deserter's doing, it very well could be."

"And if it's not?" Ozai asked. "If it's… the Gladiator?"

Azula gritted her teeth. He was asking… she had to answer. Even if the answer wasn't what he wanted to hear. Even if her answer was wrong. If it was… then she'd pay the price. But if it wasn't…

"The man I knew… would have never used the deaths of thousands as tools to humiliate an opponent," she said. Ozai's brow drew together. "I don't know if he has changed to a point where… where he wouldn't be affected by the lives he takes anymore. But if he hasn't… then this would be a genuine gesture. Even if it makes no sense, it… it has to be. Perhaps, precisely because it makes no sense…"

"His thought process was indeed unpredictable and unintuitive, wasn't it?" Ozai hissed. Azula swallowed hard and nodded. "So, this… this might be entirely genuine on his part? A display of mercy?"

The very notion made him sick: mercy? As if the Gladiator were the one with the most power, the one in whose hands rested the fate of the world. Did he truly believe his strength could not be contested? Did he believe mercy was nothing but innocent, meaningless kindness? It was nothing of the sort when it was granted by a powerful man…

And yet Ozai needed that damn mercy… he needed it for the sake of closure. He needed to know the truth regarding Zhao… to confirm whether he was lost, whether all his troops were lost. Could the Gladiator truly have seen to gathering all the corpses, or most of them…? How had he even transported them across the ocean? It was madness, the entire matter made no sense…

He snarled, shaking his head as he glared through the window. How many more times would he get the upper hand? How many times would Ozai find himself at a loss over his damnable choices? Could this wretched ordeal have ended on that day with the Gladiator's death, if it weren't for the Avatar…?

Azula hadn't moved one inch. She remained on her seat, frozen up, no doubt trying to process the reality of what her lover's troops had done… or what he had done, himself. Ozai's eyes narrowed as he stared at her from over his shoulder. She seemed genuinely affected by this sudden twist in their dark tale… perhaps the reality of Zhao's potential death had only sunken in fully when she realized she might be able to confirm it directly.

She noticed his stare before long, and she tensed up further. She bowed her head towards him, in the apologetic display he had guessed would arrive sooner than later.

"I… I'm responsible for this failure," she said. Ozai scowled. "My attempt to predict his choices did not suffice. Even now, I… I cannot say that my predictions are correct. The longer this goes on, the harder it is to understand…"

"Do not second-guess yourself, Princess Azula," Ozai said. She flinched, though she didn't dare raise her head yet. "Your predictions were not in question, whether now or when he struck against our forces in the Northern Air Temple. It's our execution that has failed… it was Zhao's madness, likely, that led him to commit to a course he wasn't supposed to, when he shouldn't have just yet. Perhaps it would have amounted to nothing, but the Avatar's intervention is, ultimately, what resulted in our failure in the Northern Water Tribe. That an Air Nomad could be this bloodthirsty certainly proves he's a dreaded enemy to behold… but without him, the Northern Water Tribe would have been destroyed, and our forces would have continued to defeat the Gladiator's across the Earth Kingdom."

"Perhaps, but… now that we know what the Avatar is capable of, it's difficult to surmise how to move forward," Azula said. "I don't even know anymore if… if he's the one in charge of their armies. Isn't it possible that the Avatar has seized leadership, stolen it from him?"

"Would you judge him so weakhearted as to allow that to happen?" asked Ozai, raising an eyebrow.

"I… I wouldn't believe so, but if this is the extent of the Avatar's power, I cannot say for sure that he would be able to retain power and leadership forever," Azula said, gritting her teeth. "I could read him so far… but I cannot be certain that I can continue doing so. With such resources within his reach… I fear it's possible that I cannot anticipate the actual scope of his strategies anymore."

"You shall do your best to predict them regardless," Ozai said. Azula swallowed hard and nodded. "You did not fail us. The Avatar is a threat, however… one we cannot take lightly, going forward. He has proven capable of laying waste over our forces… he will do it as many times as he cares to until he's stopped."

"Then… we'll have to think of how to stop him. If it's even possible," Azula said.

"Indeed. Though I'm afraid we'll do best to think of it later. You have other matters to contend with first," Ozai said. Azula raised her head, meeting his gaze. "I have plenty of my own to handle, but if it were necessary, perhaps I could…"

"Yes?" Azula eyed him with uncertainty – he wasn't about to offer what she thought he would, or was he?

"Can you handle explaining matters to the girl yourself?" Ozai asked, frowning. Azula gritted her teeth. "If you couldn't…"

"I won't burden you with that," Azula said, shaking her head. "I… I'll tell Rei myself."

"It is no certainty yet, but…" Ozai said, as his lips curved into a snarl. "I fear that, if this is no trap, the very first corpse among the ones War Minister Aonu will find will be Zhao's."

Azula tensed up, but she nodded and bowed her head to him as she rose to her feet. They exchanged quick farewells curtly, their meeting cut short and interrupted by the unforeseen, troubling news.

She didn't leave right away: as ever, she cast a glance towards that corner of the room where Seethus perched himself. Whether it was a warning or a mere message to say she knew he was nearby, she didn't fail to prove she still could sense him. Without a word, however, she crossed the threshold and stepped outside of Ozai's study.

The Fire Lord usually took poorly to her displays of defiance. But as he sank in his seat, hands holding his head, Ozai couldn't seem to find much fault in her behavior… for the guilt, the pain, the loneliness dwelling in his heart now were conveying messages he would much rather ignore.

Zhao… gone. He knew it was likely that he would die if he lost the battle: it wasn't like Zhao to surrender out of eagerness to survive. He would immolate himself for victory… he would sooner die than cooperate with an enemy. Whether his strategy had been sound or faulty, though… Zhao was gone now.

"Lord Ozai…" Seethus became corporeal, visible. Ozai didn't glance in his direction. "I am sorry for your loss."

"Don't be," Ozai said, his voice somber. "He was my friend… but maybe he wasn't anymore."

He had warned Zhao to come back victorious, and a man worthy of his daughter, or else he'd be better off not returning at all. He had been harsh, cruel… and simply upon remembering why, Ozai could convince himself that he had made the right choice. Regretting his treatment of Zhao now would be foolish. Even so… he had been his friend. Nothing should have come to this. He shouldn't have died, and yet…

"Lord Ozai."

"What?" Ozai said, curtly, rubbing his brow with his fingertips.

"Should I attempt to spy on the Princess?"

Ozai froze up. He shot Seethus a stern glare. The man, hidden behind his dark robes, bowed his head.

"Do excuse my impertinence. If it's not the right time, I understand."

"The Princess just lost… her husband," Ozai said, unsure of why he had uttered the words – he highly doubted Azula would be torn up about that side of things after all. "Leave her to herself, Seethus. This is not the time to learn if…"

He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to for Seethus to understand his meaning.

"Very well, Lord Ozai."

Ozai winced. He was making excuses. He was dithering. He should have given Seethus the order long ago. He should have done it from the first moment. He shouldn't have hesitated by the door of Azula's bedroom. It was more urgent now than ever before to ensure that the child was indeed Zhao's, a legitimate heir to the Fire Nation throne…

And yet he couldn't do it. He refused to do it. A stubborn, furious part of his soul demanded retribution… but it was small these days, diminished. He knew all too well that Azula's child couldn't be Zhao's… and he didn't want to confirm it. He didn't want to act on it. He had already destroyed his daughter's life over her biggest secret once before… doing it a second time would only guarantee that she would abandon the Fire Nation, perhaps even kill herself, out of sheer desperation.

Right now, all he wanted to do was mourn. He only wanted to close his eyes and remember. He needed to find solace in the memories that often tormented him… if that was the only way in which Zhao would be part of his life anymore, through painful fragments of their past, then so be it. If that was the only way in which he could honor his friend for now, he'd do it. Azula's secrets would remain hers, for as long as she could preserve them.

The Princess walked away, down the corridors, hardly capable of believing that Ozai wouldn't hold her responsible, whether of the deaths of thousands of soldiers, or of the way Sokka and his allies might be handling the devastating event. Her body felt hollow, though… the reality of how much had been lost, how many lives had been wasted in this chaos, threatened to break her.

How could she be worth all this? Sokka couldn't be fighting for her sake… she didn't want him to. Not if this was the outcome. Whether the wasted lives were Fire Nation, Water Tribe or Earth Kingdom, none of them should have had to die just so she could live. So she could be free. That he could have ever believed otherwise…

She stopped on her tracks, her heart tight as she clasped a wall, nearly losing her balance. Her legs felt weak, too weak to sustain her as an unwanted reality, cruel memories, returned to mind…

"I faced all those fights in the Amateur Arena, Azula, and… and every single time I had to kill one of them, I knew I didn't deserve to survive.

"I'm just… this. A pathetic man who never even had the courage to end his miserable existence back when he had the guts to murder others."

She hugged herself, closing her eyes tightly: she hadn't fought in a ring of filth and sand, under the glare of merciless sunlight, facing each and every person who tried to claw to life as best they could, while knowing it was kill-or-die. The agony, the anguish he had experienced, the hell she had spared him from… it was different from the one she was immersed in now.

So why did it feel so similar? Why did she feel so worthless? Why did such a stark guilt tug at her heart, demanding that she laid down her very existence as a miserable, insignificant way to pay for all the lives her selfishness had already cost the world?

The Northern Water Tribe should never forgive her. The Northern Air Temple's refugees shouldn't either. Sokka… Sokka shouldn't, either.

It was easy to obsess with how he had broken their promises when she had been the first to do so: everything she had promised him lay undone. She had failed him in every way she could have… she had been unable to find balance. She couldn't choose between him and the Fire Nation… so she had stood at a standstill on that tight rope, and now it shook violently as she clung to it with the tips of her fingers: she didn't deserve to live on for one more day when her prolonged survival had seen countless others, numerous innocent people who had done nothing wrong, paying for her sins.

And now she would face one of the very victims of her terrible choices. Rei wasn't likely to blame her… but who knew, really, how she'd react to hearing about Zhao's fate. She was such a kind-hearted, good-natured girl… if she did blame her, Azula wouldn't excuse herself. She wouldn't lie or hide behind shields just to appease her guilt. She was responsible for this. She was responsible for the outcome of that battle. She had hoped, believed, that Sokka would arrive on time and stop Zhao's forces before they could devastate the Water Tribe… but that wasn't a gamble anyone with sense should have made. That she had no other choice, no other way to protect the still-unborn Hotaru at the time, hardly seemed to matter anymore…

She let herself drop on the floor unceremoniously, unconcerned with propriety, as she breathed to calm herself down. Tears had spilled from her eyes, and the gut-wrenching sensation inside her hadn't receded in the slightest. This initial outburst was something she was better off sparing Rei from. She'd get going soon… she'd tell her daughter the truth. She'd find the strength to do it, somehow.

After ten minutes, throughout which she was quite fortunate not to be spotted by any servants or guards in that moment of vulnerability, Azula pushed herself up to her feet and restarted the walk to her room. She continued to support herself with a hand on the wall until she finally reached the corridor… and then she breathed to reassure herself, multiple times, to fill her heart with the courage that she knew she had to muster. Rei deserved the truth. Rei deserved to learn what little Azula knew of her father's fate.

Renkai eyed her warily once she approached the bedroom. He didn't hold back from stepping closer to her, recognizing something was wrong, and mostly unwilling to let his fellow guard involve himself in their conversation.

"Princess?" he called. Azula tensed up as she raised her head, but not her gaze, and kept walking.

"Renkai. Is everything in order so far?" she asked.

"As always," he said, with a quick nod: her behavior, and her voice tone, made it clear that she wouldn't answer any questions he might have thought to ask.

"Thank you for your hard work," Azula said.

She breathed deeply as the other guard opened the door for her. Renkai returned to his position, and Azula slid inside her bedroom without further ado. She couldn't hear Hotaru crying, hopefully that meant her daughter had dozed off in the tunnels, as she often did due to how dark they were…

The need to retrieve Hotaru motivated her, much as the fear of telling Rei the truth daunted her. Azula dropped on her knees by the trapdoor, rolling the carpet away and striking the rocky door with her knuckles to perform their agreed-upon secret code. Once it was done, she poured fire into the mechanism and the trapdoor clicked open.

Her heart clenched tighter still when light flooded the tunnel, revealing Rei was the one holding the sleeping Hotaru. Song remained closer to the trapdoor, greeting Azula at once with a silent nod, with which she hoped to reassure her friend that everything was under control. Azula nodded back.

"That one took a while," Song said, once they climbed out of the trapdoor and Azula closed it safely. "Guess the Fire Lord really expected a lot today, huh?"

There was a hint of bitterness in her voice that shifted quickly once she noticed the vacant expression on Azula's face. Song frowned, setting aside her misgivings and displeasure over Azula's current predicament as she stepped closer to her.

"Azula? What's wrong?" she asked. Azula shivered. "How bad is it?"

"I…" Azula managed, covering her face with a hand before glancing at Rei, who had remained dutifully quiet so far. The girl met her gaze and smiled a little before offering Hotaru to her. "Was… was Hotaru much trouble today?"

"She seldom is," Rei said, with a gentle smile. "You didn't need to worry. No one else entered the room, so…"

"Right," Azula said, picking up her daughter and hugging her to her chest: Hotaru's little legs stretched out, as though searching for the most comfortable position until she finally settled down in her mother's arms. "Thank you, as always. To the both of you."

Song gritted her teeth: patience was certainly not a virtue she claimed to possess, especially ever since Rui Shi had sent her to Ember Island. It was taking all her willpower not to demand that Azula spoke at once of what was bothering her – deep down, she was terrified. She knew what Azula had to do for the Fire Lord, she understood it, but if anything turned out even worse than Azula had anticipated…

Azula breathed deeply, walking towards one of the cribs and setting down Hotaru carefully upon it. The baby seemed to be drowsy, so she wouldn't wake up anytime soon… she was quite the heavy sleeper, something rather positive and unusual in children that Azula certainly was grateful for, as it would cause her less trouble while hiding her child's existence. After pressing a gentle kiss upon her brow, she stepped away from the crib… and towards Rei.

Song frowned, though with confused curiosity now. Rei didn't seem bothered… she certainly appeared not to understand the meaning behind her mother's expression, but she trusted her. Oh, she trusted her so genuinely, so wholeheartedly when she shouldn't have. When so many things could have been different if only Azula had made better, smarter choices… She gritted her teeth, breathing deeply one more time before speaking.

"The… the battle of the Northern Water Tribe was a disaster," she said, unwilling to withhold the truth. Rei and Song tensed up at once.

"A disaster? For… for which side?" Song asked. "The Water Tribe? The Fire Nation?"

"Both," Azula answered truthfully. Song's eyes widened. "The Fire Nation's initial attack was… it seems to have been devastating and successful, to a point where an airship could invade the city itself and disembark occupation forces within it. There's no telling what the death toll was for the Water Tribe. It must have been… devastating. Immense. I… I can't imagine it wasn't. But at some point, when the Fire Nation took for granted its victory, the invading airship appears to… to have exploded. The explosion wasn't simple and straightforward, it… it was the product of bending. Of firebending, of airbending, both at once, it seems…"

"Wait… what?" Song frowned. "You mean… it was the Avatar?"

"That's what it seems like," Azula said, gritting her teeth. "It's the only working theory we have to explain how someone set the sky on fire."

Rei blinked blankly: the image of a sky on fire didn't quite process in her mind. What was that supposed to be like? She couldn't fathom it. Fire, spiraling above, like the clouds, perhaps…? It sounded terrifying.

"Whether… whether it was really the Avatar or not, ultimately, the Fire Nation's Air Force has been annihilated," Azula said. Song's eyes widened. Rei froze. "His attack devastated every airship… every hot-air balloon. Much of the collapsing debris crashed on the warships… the naval fleet wasn't completely destroyed, but it was definitely crippled significantly, to the point where the numbers of warships hasn't been as low as it is right now since the war began, according to War Minister Aonu."

Song gritted her teeth, fists tight and trembling: a part of her wanted to rejoice. To vindictively bask in the likely defeat of the Fire Nation's army, even if Azula hadn't finished her story just yet. But another part of her couldn't quite share the sentiment… for that other part of her had loved a soldier once. That part of her had wanted the war to end, for lives to not be wasted anymore… even Fire Nation lives.

She couldn't find joy in this. She couldn't set aside her knowledge of what was right and wrong solely out of vindictiveness…

"That's… that's awful," Rei said, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry… I wish none of that had happened, Mom. I…"

"Rei…" Azula said: her voice was even more charged with emotion now as she raised a hand… then retrieved it. Rei eyed the gesture with confusion: never before had Azula second-guessed a gesture of affection towards her. Why had she done it now?

"What… what is it?" she asked. Azula gritted her teeth, fists tight.

"Rei… Zhao was the commanding officer that led the forces in the attack on the Northern Water Tribe."

Song froze: the implications of Azula's words struck her harder, faster, than they did Rei. She met Azula's gaze, eyes wide… and she recognized the remorse Azula displayed for a window of a moment before focusing on Rei once more.

Rei covered her mouth with a hand, a slight frown on her face: her eyes were still hopeful, though, when she looked at Azula. She expected a happier ending… she expected a long-winded explanation as to what had happened to her father. She expected so many things… and one look at the Princess's distraught expression suggested Rei wasn't about to find any of them now.

"W-what…?" she said. Azula shuddered. "What happened to him? Do you know? Mom…"

"I… I don't know exactly," Azula admitted. "No one does just yet… but maybe the truth will be confirmed soon, if it's what we fear. He… he might have been captured. Turned into a prisoner of the Northern Water Tribe. But if… if that's not the case, Rei, it's possible that… I mean, officially, his status is 'missing in action', but it might just be that… Zhao might just be…"

She couldn't bring herself to say the word.

She didn't need to.

"Dead."

Rei shuddered as she spoke the word. She shivered, her breathing pattern growing irregular, erratic, as a disbelieving smile spread over her face. As she raised her gaze towards Azula.

"T-that… that's not likely. I mean, he was one of the best firebenders. He was the Crown Prince, right? S-so… he wouldn't be anywhere dangerous. They wouldn't have sent him on the frontlines, or so…"

"He shouldn't have been in the frontlines, no, but…" Azula said. Rei straightened her back, breathing heavily as she did, then smiling at Azula nervously again.

"Then… surely, they knew he was valuable. S-surely he… he didn't die when the sky was on fire, somehow. I-if he was on an airship then… surely he escaped, right? He… he would have wanted to, I'm sure. He… he wouldn't have stood in the path of that fire, that wouldn't make sense… right?"

"Rei…" Azula said, breathing deeply and reaching out nervously, placing a hand upon her shoulder. "I understand how you must be feeling, but…"

"No… y-you don't. You… you shouldn't understand," Rei said, with a sudden, nervous laugh… Azula froze in place when she caught sight of tears on the corners of her daughter's eyes. "Y-you… d-don't. Don't feel sorry for me… or for him. I-if he's dead? T-then that's good! H-Hotaru will be safer, and you'll be… y-you'll be better off. You would be! It's… it's better. I-it's good. It's fine if he… I-it's alright if that's what happened. It's… i-it's better…"

"Rei, don't force yourself to say things like those," Azula said, clasping Rei's other shoulder too: the girl was shrinking in place, as she often did when she felt insignificant… a sensation she very often experienced when it came to matters related to Zhao. "I didn't want this to happen… you don't need to make yourself want it, either. We don't know for sure if it did or didn't anyway, maybe he got away like you said, but Rei…"

"He… he could have? A-and if he did, t-then he'd still think you tried to kill him, b-because he already thought that was what was happening back when he was here, and…" Rei whimpered, shaking her head and bringing her hands to her mouth. "He… he would be very upset. He'd act out, he'd try to hurt you again, s-so…!"

"Rei…"

"It's better! It's…! It's better for Hotaru… f-for everyone. He… h-he was dangerous. He wasn't a good person. He…!"

She couldn't even process the truth before the tears started to spill down her cheeks without restraint. Her breath grew short… gasps and sobs interrupting her as she spoke: where was all this emotion coming from? Rei knew the truth. She knew that everything she was saying so far had been true, Zhao was a hazard to Azula, to all of the keepers of her secret, to Hotaru…

But she had imagined Zhao would return one day. She had let herself dream of the possibility that he might apologize… that he might regret how he had acted. That he would say he was sorry to Azula… that he would understand Hotaru's value, and that he would protect her willingly now, acknowledging the child as his own even if she wasn't, even if he had never acknowledged Rei…

Rei had believed that he would apologize to her, too. That he would realize she had only wanted to help… that he would come to understand in time that, even if his place wasn't by Azula's side, he didn't need to forsake all possibilities of having a role in this family, or in Rei's life.

If he didn't get it right away, then maybe he would understand later. Maybe Rei would begin reaching out to him, and day by day she would wear down his defenses, much as the Princess had with her. Eventually, she'd help Zhao see his mistakes and understand there had been better paths forward, that there had been other possibilities…

But if he was dead, none of those things would ever come to pass.

It felt like a cold hand had wrenched her insides out. As if she had been knocked down by an unsurmountable force… and such was the devastation that she genuinely lost her footing: the Princess had to catch her as she wept uncontrollably, as she shook her head, hands cold and shivering as she clung to Azula's tunic.

The last time she had wept like this, in Azula's arms, by the foot of her bed, had been on the day when she last saw Zhao. The last time she spoke to him… the last time she tried to make herself seen. She had stood up to him, for once… she had tried to stop him from hurting Azula. She had failed, and he had hurt Rei, too.

She hadn't even looked up during the fight. She had shrunken in place, hugging herself as the pain over the burn worsened… Azula had wrapped her arms around her, soothing her, just as Zhao was dragged out of the room, screaming madly. She had hoped, even then, that there would be some hope for Zhao, that he might understand he had acted rashly, wrongly. Perhaps he'd see the error of his ways… perhaps he'd come to terms with how deeply he had misunderstood Azula. His accusations had been unfounded… all of them. Even now, Rei didn't doubt the Princess whatsoever.

But that was what she had expected her to do. That was what the Princess had thought Rei would do… even now, it seemed that Azula was constantly ready to be a disappointment to those who cared for her.

"I'm sorry, Rei…" Azula said, pressing her face to the top of her head as she hugged her, holding her up as best she could. "I'm so sorry…"

"N-no… n-no, you… y-you shouldn't…" Rei whimpered, shaking her head. "He… he chose bad things… h-he made wrong choices, he… I wanted to… t-to talk to him again, to make him see, and he just…!"

"I'm sorry," Azula repeated, tears spilling down her face as well. Pretending to give Rei any hope for Zhao's survival was futile: it would be better to be surprised if he actually came home than for the girl to spend the rest of her life awaiting her father's return… for it seemed unlikely that he'd come back at all. "I'm so sorry, Rei… I…"

"I'm the one who…" Rei sniffed, shaking her head. "I… i-if I'd done better… m-maybe he wouldn't have…"

"Don't… don't blame yourself for any of what he did. You're not responsible for him, Rei…" Azula said, shutting her eyes tightly. "But I… I know you care about him. I understand that you would. He… he's your father. He…"

"Y-you're my only… my only real parent," Rei sobbed. "He… he didn't want me… he didn't know I existed, he… I didn't need… I'm okay like this. I'm okay, I…"

She was darkening her own understanding of Zhao, muddling it, corrupting it… all be it to make it hurt less. All be it to negate her own complicated feelings about her father… but she was failing. The more she spoke, the harder she wept. Her hands gripped Azula's clothes desperately, looking for comfort, stability, healing that she wouldn't be finding anytime soon. Rationality couldn't answer for the utterly illogical storm that was ravaging her heart: she had wanted to set things right. She had wanted to fix matters. She had wanted him to stop hating Azula… and now there would be no chance for that. He was gone… even if she couldn't know what his fate had been just yet, a part of her had immediately understood that he was gone.

"I'm sorry," Azula said, shaking her head and gripping Rei tightly. "I'm sorry it's turned out like this, Rei…"

She truly was sorry. She had no love for Zhao… the less she saw of the man, the better. The more distance between them, the happier she'd be. But she knew how difficult it was to relinquish a parental bond, no matter how many times the father might have devastated his child with his unforgivable choices. She had tried to help Rei, she had hoped to ease her life's burdens, she had taught her basic matters and complex ones alike… and Zhao could have very well involved himself in that process. At no point had he truly needed to be so cruel, so harsh…

But he had become those things because of her. Because Azula had used him.

Could she have avoided this catastrophe if she had somehow decided to trust Zhao blindly? She couldn't have. She couldn't afford to, just as she had refused to trust Iroh and wound up proven correct in doing so, once the man had destroyed her world irremediably. Zhao wouldn't have been any better… he surely wouldn't have been any better…

But what if he had been?

What if Zhao had turned his back on Ozai, becoming, instead, a true ally to Azula and those she protected?

If she had only given him that chance… it would have meant risking so much more than she would have ever wanted to endanger. Hotaru's safety, Xin Long's survival… all her friends, all the allies she still had counted on, that could have very well paid the price if Zhao had ever grown too ambitious, if he had ever found any reason to betray her.

And still… if she had handled him the right way, maybe Rei wouldn't be crying. Maybe she wouldn't be devastated in her arms. Azula knew better than to lament all those things openly, in front of the girl… for Rei's pain didn't deserve to take a backseat to Azula's guilt, and she was far too selfless to realize her feelings, her broken heart, mattered more than anyone else's. No one in this world had cared for Zhao as much as Rei had, even if Rei herself hadn't come to terms with the full extent of her affection towards her own father…

It was a devastating realization to face now. It was unfair, truly, for the girl to only grow to understand how much he meant to her, how much he mattered, when it was far too late for her to reach out to him again. He was gone… he was out of reach. And if he somehow came back alive, which would be an unexpected miracle… would his heart have changed? Would he have grown to understand and see the world any differently than he had when he had set out?

They'd never know. The truths in Zhao's heart were beyond their reach, and always would be.

Rei wept. She clung to Azula, and she wept, shoulders shaking violently as her heart shattered in ways it never had before. As she grew to understand loss, remorse, guilt in ways she never had experienced them before. As her heart returned to simpler days, in which nothing had been as important as serving her father, as gaining his approval, as providing him with reasons to be content in his old mansion, away from the bustle of the city and the chaos of court, the days in which he had smiled at her whenever he was home, protected her from Hahn, watched over her in distant silence, and brought her the first, small kernels of happiness she had experienced across her weary life…

She owed him much, even if he hardly deserved gratitude. She wouldn't be in anyone's arms now if it weren't for his choices, whether the right or wrong ones. She would have never made friends, learned any of the countless things she had learned… but she would never pay him back in kind. She'd never know if she'd made him proud… she'd never be able to ask him if she could call him 'father'.

He was gone. Whatever had happened, however he had drawn his final breath, whether he had even thought of her as it happened… ultimately, her father was gone.

For the rest of the day, Rei continued to grieve, her kind heart aching with longing for the loss of possibilities that she hadn't even known she still clung to. As much as Azula and Song held her, as much as they brewed tea to ease her pain, as much as the Princess allowed her to take the whole day off from duties and studies alike, nothing seemed to register in the young woman's heart other than the pain of losing the very first source of stability her life had ever known.

She didn't calm down: she simply fell asleep after too much crying, bundled up in the covers, languishing across the Princess's bed. She slept by hugging her legs, rolled up into herself, as though hiding from the world's cruelty as best she could.

Hotaru had woken up by then. Azula had fed and changed her, without the enthusiasm she usually could muster for those tasks. Song had taken to sitting with Rei, stroking her hair kindly until the girl had fallen asleep. After about ten minutes, she rose to her feet and made her way to the window: Azula had taken her seat there, with Hotaru nestled over her lap, her small hands running over Azula's palm, entertained, it seemed, by gripping her fingers or touching the ridges of her hand, some natural and simple, some much more complex, with a deeper meaning than the child would be able to understand… such as Azula's marriage scar.

Song sighed as she pulled up a chair, sitting across Azula. The sky was already dark, dotted with bright stars. Everything in sight appeared so placid, so calm and deceptively peaceful… it was hard to believe that news as grim and disturbing as the ones Azula had shared could have ever taken place in the very world they were witnessing right now.

"How are you holding up?" Song asked. Azula hummed.

"I don't know," she answered, honestly. "I… I won't lie, there's a twisted part of me that… that is relieved by no longer being shackled to him. But every other fiber of my body just… just knows there had to be another way. As much as I grew to hate him, as much as he hated me, I… I didn't really want him dead. No matter if he convinced himself of the opposite."

"What was your father's reaction?" Song asked. "Did he blame you, somehow? Did it look like…?"

"I thought he would," Azula admitted, gritting her teeth. "When I entered that meeting, when Aonu started talking, I… I was expecting him to hold me responsible for everything. Much like I always do, I guess. I suppose I don't give him enough credit, huh?"

"If anything, you give him more than he deserves," Song said, bluntly. Azula smiled a little. "It's not just Zhao, though. I mean… about everything you told us. The Northern Water Tribe…"

Azula's smile faded quickly, her face stricken by grief instead. Song gritted her teeth, eyeing her warily as Azula drew in a deep breath.

"Well… if you're wondering whether I blame myself for the outcome they've faced or not, the answer is bound to be quite obvious," Azula said. "I… I had truly hoped he'd get there on time. That he'd be able to prevent a massacre if he had the chance. I have no doubts he wanted to, of course, but… he failed. He couldn't save the Water Tribe before thousands of their people were killed… and then the only way to save the others was by decimating the Fire Nation's forces. You and I both know… he's not the type to rejoice in any deaths, not even those of Fire Nation soldiers. It must have devastated him too, and yet… he had no choice. Or, if he did, he still picked this above anything else. I can't truly resent him for it, though, can I? I… I'm the one who pointed my father, and Zhao, in this direction. I'm not blameless. Those deaths are on my conscience, every last one of them… I could've failed my father, I could have lied, I could have acted the ignorant fool, the heartbroken moron he wanted me to be…"

"You could have," Song said, raising an eyebrow. "But if you failed your father… everyone else would have paid the price. Everyone here, rather than everyone there…"

"Doesn't change the truth," Azula said.

"I never said it did," Song said. Azula gritted her teeth. "You're trapped, Azula. It's not as simple as you might be making it sound now."

"It's not, huh?" Azula said, lowering her gaze, glaring at the windowsill.

"I know I made it sound simple that day, too," Song said, remorseful. "This has been… eye-opening. In a terrible way."

"Really?" Azula asked, eyeing Song in disbelief.

"You don't get the privilege of deciding who lives and dies. That's your father's power… even Sokka's power, to a fault, if not on the same level as your father," Song said, with a deep sigh. "You, though? You're stuck choosing a side. Choosing who to sacrifice each time. Your father's pushed that on you, and you can't break free from that position because attempting to do so would be yet another sacrifice. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself anymore than you do if… if you had turned your back on your father and he had taken out his wrath on everyone in your vicinity, everyone you ever knew, because you dared disobey him again. He already did it once… he wouldn't hesitate to do it again."

"Is that enough to justify thousands upon thousands of deaths, though?" Azula said.

"Ask your father that," Song said. Azula eyed her warily. "He's the one waging this war. He's the one who sent those troops to the north, Zhao included. If he grieves for his soldiers? Then he'd better accept that they're only dead because of him. But… knowing what I know, I can only imagine he's only upset about a lost battle rather than the loss of lives."

"Maybe the lives do bother him… mainly since he can't use them to win more battles later," Azula said, sighing as she tightened her grip around Hotaru. "You… you really don't hold this against me?"

"Azula…" Song said, eyeing her with remorse. Azula met her gaze, and Song sighed. "I guess I should explain what I meant when I said this had been eye-opening, huh?"

Azula raised an eyebrow as Song seemed to prepare to speak. She breathed deeply, slumping over her seat.

"You know I lost my father when I was young. He was taken from my village… I never knew what happened to him. I never had the chance to say goodbye. There's no denying that there was rage in my heart… but there was a much louder, stronger fear. I knew it could happen to me. I knew I wasn't strong enough to fight back if they ever came for me… and they did. I wasn't vindictive then, I just… I just wanted it to be over. And it was, when you and Sokka found me. Everything changed after that… but not my heart. Not the way I saw the war. If anything, the more time passed and the better I got to know you and other people from the Fire Nation, the more I realized that… that I was right, when I was younger, for just wanting it to be over. For just wanting my family back. I… I never wanted you or your friends or your guards to face the kind of hell I'd faced. You weren't responsible for my sorrows… you had no choice in where you were born, not any more than I did.

"In one of my first proper conversations with Rui Shi, he grew self-aware after I explained what happened to my father. It bothered him that I might hate soldiers like him, but he said he understood it, if I did. I explained, though… even if I didn't think of soldiers as humans, for a time, even if I thought they were just somber monsters who served an even bigger monster, it didn't mean that I wanted to destroy the Fire Nation. What good was it to want that? What made one nation better than the other? Why was anyone pretending to determine which one was the best one when harmony, peaceful coexistence, was a possibility?"

Azula gritted her teeth: Song had reached similar conclusions to her own, so long ago…

"But I definitely lost track of that train of thought," Song admitted, with a sad smile. "My certainty about seeing the world that way took a serious blow after… after you and Sokka were caught. It wasn't as though I hated the Fire Nation irrationally, no… but I did hate the Fire Lord. I hated everyone loyal to him. I hated everyone who had any part to play in your downfall and the consequences that spread so widely, affecting everyone all across the world. So… so when you said Sokka would come for you, I hoped that was true. When you were reluctant to see him return if he would do so violently, by fighting in the war, I was still so lost in my rage that I couldn't understand why you would ever find this a bad idea, or why you'd reject it, as you seemed to, on the day of that war meeting…

"Then, just before you returned to training, I lost my patience and we had that fight. I… I struggled to see your side. I wanted you safe, you, Rei and Hotaru… Sokka was going to ensure that you'd be alright. There was no way he could have ever done anything to hurt you. I believed in him blindly, because I know he couldn't have changed so much, couldn't have lost himself to rage so badly, as to lose sight of what truly matters. I… I guess I foolishly believed he'd find a way to wage this war without killing unless necessary. And… what does that even mean, really, 'unless necessary'? If the Fire Lord demands it, his soldiers will immolate themselves. Their deaths won't be necessary… they'll be completely nonsensical sacrifices, and yet how would Sokka be able to keep that from happening? How could he ever save everyone? He… he can't. Just as you can't. None of us could ever hope to save everyone… the only one who has the power to put a stop to this damn war is your father. And I bet there's no way he's ever going to consider it, not even if his entire army were wiped out…"

"It almost was," Azula said, bitterly. "Not that we're completely defenseless now, but… we've never seen the Fire Nation's forces as weakened as they will be, going forward. My father's even considering conscripting women, retired officers, teenagers…"

"He'll get everyone killed," Song snarled, shaking her head. "And it's not Sokka's fault. Just as it's not your fault to want innocent people spared from his wrath. You're not wrong for wanting to keep your nation safe."

"And yet my nation is the one that endangers the others," Azula said. Song shook her head.

"It's your father. It's his goons. You're not responsible for their choices, especially when you've done so much to break out of their ideology, to save people rather than condemn them. And Sokka knows that just as much as I do."

"Maybe. But he's joined forces with people who probably would refuse to believe I'm capable of anything good," Azula sighed, shaking her head. "And considering my current circumstances, and how easily this entire catastrophe could be blamed on my words in that war meeting… I condemned myself. I've chained myself to standing by my father's side at the end of this war. I wish I hadn't… I wish I could've found another path. But this way…"

"This way you could stand up for your people. The ones that need to be protected," Song said. Azula eyed her warily. "You're fighting to save them, rather than fighting for your father's cause."

"What difference would that make, in the eyes of the White Lotus?" Azula asked, with a deep sigh. "Or in the eyes of the world at large? I… I was supposed to be a champion of the people, to a fault. The one who took a stand for the slaves, who gave a rousing speech about the responsibility that trueborn Fire Nation people held towards everyone we've assimilated over the course of the war. But now… I have spent months hidden away only to return as my father's confidante and heir once more. Now that Zhao is gone… that's who I am again, and I find I would rather not be that person. I… I don't want to be any closer to the throne, or to the crown. The very thought of it is… disturbing."

"You always wanted to be Fire Lord…" Song said. Azula grimaced.

"My eyes weren't open to this dark reality as they are now," she said. "Even if every hope Sokka and I indulged in had turned out to be true, the devastation the Fire Nation has already caused would never be lessened merely because I became Fire Lord. Preventing armed conflict from stirring up again after the war ended would hardly matter, either: the hard feelings on both sides might just be harsh enough to lead to a second war right after the first ends."

"Wars never seem to settle conflicts… they only brew more violence," Song said. Azula nodded.

"It's why I… why I hoped he'd just stay put. I understand why he's doing this… curses, he's not wrong about it either. I know he's not. If he goes all the way… he might actually change the world for the better in the end. But I… I can't stand aside. I can't shrug off the meaning of this madness and pretend I'm unaffected by it all. I'm not. Knowing so many soldiers died that day… it's eating away at me. It's devastating. They were only pawns in Zhao's schemes, in my father's… and they were taught that their lives didn't matter. That the only thing they needed to care about, to focus on, was enforcing the Fire Lord's will. They spent their entire lives believing that… and I can only wonder how many continued to cling to that belief as that fire consumed them."

Song sighed, reaching out to clasp Azula's hand reassuringly. Azula squeezed her fingers lightly.

"There's… one thing I should've told you all along," Azula said, surprising her friend. "I didn't that day because, well, we had that argument. It's been difficult talking to you about any of this since then…"

"I'm sorry it has been," Song said. Azula shook her head.

"It's not your fault. But… the thing is, Sokka had some surprising allies in the Northern Air Temple, according to the reports from the soldiers who survived."

"Surprising allies?" Song repeated. Azula breathed deeply and sighed.

"Firebenders, to be precise."

Song tensed up. Her eyes widened as Azula met her gaze meaningfully.

"We haven't confirmed anything… but it could be," she said. Song pulled her hand back, covering her mouth with it. "They were there in the Northern Water Tribe, too. Riding hot-air balloons, it seems…"

"You mean… it can't be them. Can it?" Song asked, shivering violently. Azula offered her a fragile smile.

"They might have felt it was safe to come out of hiding once they heard of what Sokka was up to," she suggested. "That is… if it's really them, of course."

"It could… it could not be. Right," Song said. Azula eyed her compassionately.

"I'm sure that only makes matters more complicated, huh?" she said. "Look… I know you don't like being on this side of the conflict. I don't either, but you… you do have a choice."

"What? I do?" Song said, eyeing her skeptically.

"You could… you could just go back to Ember Island," Azula said. Song's eyes widened. "Lo and Li would likely take you in again. They did it the first time, after all. You've been of invaluable help so far, don't get me wrong… but even if I'm sure you could do lots more to help with Hotaru, it's possible that you'd be expected to leave eventually, as you were supposed to be a midwife…"

"And my job is done after the baby's born?" Song recited, frowning slightly.

"Might be how the world would see it," Azula said, with a shrug. "If… if you go back, and Rui Shi's truly involved in this, then maybe he'll find you in Ember Island once… once Sokka's forces inevitably get here. You wouldn't have to… to stand against any of them. You could be on neutral ground, as neutral as could be, waiting for the war's resolution. Rei could go with you too, if things get too complicated…"

"And Hotaru, of course, once you've stopped nursing her," Song said. Azula grimaced: Song's answer was obvious even before she offered it. "Sounds like a wonderful way to be a coward. No, thank you."

"Song…"

"I'm not abandoning you," she said, firmly. "No matter what you have to do."

"I don't know if you understand what that entails," Azula said, eyeing her mournfully. "I'm giving you a chance to avoid sharing my fate…"

"And I'm rejecting it," Song said, matter-of-factly. Azula sighed, slumping against her chair. "I'm sorry for going against everything you want, but… I can't help it. It's hardly like you're any better… every single time I told you that we had to escape, you refused. This time, you're telling me to escape without you, and I'm refusing just as much. Azula… you're all I've got left, okay? You, Rei and Hotaru…"

"Song, your mother is hopefully still safe and sound in Ba Sing Se," Azula said. Song winced. "I cannot fathom that Sokka would have ever let anything happen to her. He would've torn the city upside down to find her if that was necessary… so I'm not all you have left, alright? I'm not. If you went to Lo and Li, if Rui Shi finds you there, once all is said and done, you can return to Myeung and the three of you can go on and make your life's choices together, going forward. See?"

"Heh. I see," Song said, with a weak smile. "My answer's still 'no.'"

"You… are even more stubborn than I am," Azula concluded, looking at her in resignation. Song's smile strengthened.

"Don't you know that's what Earth Kingdom folks are like?" she said. "Unmovable, unyielding, hard-headed…"

"So, this is how you honor your heritage? Funny way of going about it…" Azula sighed, and Song breathed deeply.

"I've lost everything, time after time," she said. "My life has been upturned so often that I'm as good as used to losing my center, to not having a purpose, to ambling awkwardly while fearing that I'll never see the people I love again. You and Sokka offered me a chance to break free from that cycle… and then it started again once you were caught. Like I said earlier… I was angry. I wanted revenge. But most of all… I wanted to be back with all of you. I didn't want to be the one who was out of the picture… I didn't want to be the one in safety while the three of you were fighting for your lives. I felt so useless… so helpless. I can't stop whatever the Fire Lord is up to, I know that… but I can help you somehow. Even if it's just by holding Hotaru when you can't look after her, even if it's just by helping Rei with her lessons… I'd rather keep doing that than returning to Lo and Li simply to wait for a miracle to happen, not knowing whether you will be alright or not."

"Song… I understand what you mean, but it's not as simple as that," Azula said, eyeing her with uncertainty. "I… I don't know what my father will make me do next. I'll be his heir again… and I can be held responsible for the failures of my strategies. If I fail him again, there's no telling what the result will be. Which means… that I don't want to fail. I have to do what he expects of me, no matter if I'd rather Sokka's forces defeated my father's. I don't know how bad this is going to get, Song. I didn't realize… didn't realize Zhao was a better shield for me than I knew. For as long as he was Crown Prince, I could be safe from the worst of my father's demands and expectations. He wanted nothing from me… but now he knows I'm useful again. He knows he still has me against the ropes with all his threats over everyone I care about. I… I don't know how far he's going to push me, Song. I don't know what I'll have to prove capable of in the coming days. And if you don't want to endure it, if you don't want to stand by me as I… as I become the monster I tried not to be? I… I'd understand. I would."

"Azula…" Song said, clenching a hand over her chest as the Princess closed her stricken eyes. "I once made you swear you'd escape with us, if the chance ever came up. That if the situation ever grew so dire that we had no other way out, we'd run away. You… you said you'd do it. This could be the point in which you… in which you fulfill that promise. If whatever's coming next will be worse, Azula…"

"We… we could try now, yes," Azula said, with a heartbroken grin. "And then… it will just happen again, won't it? Not just my father's vindictive streak, which would be devastating… but the deaths of thousands at the hands of Sokka's more heartless allies. I meant to shield my people from the consequences of my mistakes, only to wind up being the one who sought shields for myself instead. Maybe… maybe it's time I live up to my hopes of protecting my people. If I don't… if I just run away now, after everything I've already done…"

Song sighed, lowering her gaze. She nodded, glaring sideways through the window.

"Then don't ask me to leave."

Azula gritted her teeth. Song's voice sounded steeled, stronger, determined once more.

"Don't expect me to turn my back on you for my own benefit. If you'll try to save the world at whatever cost… that means it'll be up to me to do whatever I can to protect you until this war is over or until we all end up dead. I want to see Rui Shi, every bit as much as you want to see Sokka… but I'm not abandoning you. I'm not giving up on you. Once she wakes up again, once her grief eases up, I'm sure Rei will say the same thing."

"I suppose she would," Azula said, breathing deeply and shaking her head. "You're both too selfless. This feels like the worst timing for me to evoke such loyalty from people…"

"You've been earning loyalties from all of us for years. Don't pretend it's something new now," Song said, with a gentler smile.

"I… I won't send you away, then," Azula said. Song nodded, her heart eased upon hearing Azula say those words. "But you do have to understand… Hotaru's safety is a priority well above mine."

The baby on her lap had stopped playing with her hands a while ago, seemingly bored enough to fall asleep anew as they spoke. Azula's eyes softened as she caressed her daughter's hair gently.

"If… if my father's demands are more intense than expected?" Azula said. "If things grow far more complicated than they already are, enough to…"

"To… what? To see you joining an open battle?" Song guessed, her eyes widening with fear. Azula met her gaze remorsefully.

"I won't ask you to leave, if it comes to that. I'll only ask… that you keep my daughters safe until I can come back. That is, unless you'll change your mind now that I've brought up this possibility…"

"Hell, no," Song said, gritting her teeth. "Do you really think that he'll…? Would he want you to lead his forces on a battlefield? Would he really go that far?"

"I don't know," Azula said. Song tensed up. "But if he believes that's what will grant him victory… he just might."

Song closed her eyes, breathing deeply and shaking her head: Azula shouldn't fight… neither should her enemies. No one should carry forward this stale, mindless war anymore… but there was nothing to be done if they'd keep doing it.

"I… I'll keep them safe," she said. Azula's heart clenched. "But you have to swear… whatever it takes, however hard it is, you'll come back to them. They need you. All three of us need you. None of us wants to so much as imagine a life without you, okay? So… if it really does come to that, you'll promise right back that you'll do whatever it takes to return to us. Okay?"

Azula swallowed hard and nodded. Song sighed, pushing herself up and approaching the Princess: she hugged her, and Azula dropped her head upon Song's flat abdomen, tears spilling down her cheeks. It had been a smoother conversation than their last discussion about such tense, stressful matters… and it hadn't been any easier. Even if they had reached an understanding, a mutual pact, fear swirled within their hearts over the horrors yet to come. Would the Northern Water Tribe truly be the worst of the battles… or would there be any darker, violent confrontations in store once Sokka led his forces deeper into the heart of the Fire Nation?

It always felt like they were running out of time. Like every new day that passed by brought them closer to the ignition of the final stages of this war… but for now, the Fire Lord remained passive. For the next days, he would withhold his next choices, summon no war councils… not until after Aonu's mission had been completed.

The sturdiest, surviving ships from the Fire Nation's fleet had still taken well over a week to reach the location referred to in the letter Aonu had read out loud for Ozai on that day. All defensive security measures were set in place to ensure the War Minister's protection in case the strange matter was truly a trap…

But as they loomed closer to the signaled location, after six days at sea, they were welcomed by a terrifying sight of the likes Aonu had never witnessed before.

It was a mountain. Something about it was terribly unnatural, Aonu could recognize as much from afar.

Twenty minutes after initially glimpsing the massive shape, the mountain's actual nature was easier to inveil: it was as good as an iceberg, but its content wasn't simply ice.

"What in the world…?" Aonu gasped:

The bodies of thousands of Fire Nation soldiers had been encased inside a massive block of solid ice.

Thawing the iceberg didn't take too long, thanks to the firebenders whose flames could melt the ice much more easily than the weak sunlight so far up north would. Aonu watched the process, trembling as each new melted section of the ice allowed the soldiers to withdraw another corpse or multiple ones at a time, even. The dead were frigid, sporting burns and wounds that revealed they had died long before being frozen in this block of ice…

How had they done it? Had their waterbenders worked together to create a large block of ice in which they had deposited the Fire Nation's dead, somehow… and they'd simply sent them down south? That sounded entirely unreasonable. They had been brought here… surely whoever thought to return the dead to the Fire Nation had a plan in mind. But so far, there was no sign of any dangerous enemies nearby.

Curses, but how would they transport everyone back? Aonu snarled, guessing he might need to resort to civilian ships to succeed at that. Conscripting them into the Fire Lord's service, if only for the sake of moving dead bodies, hardly sounded like an unthinkable notion…

He had multiple ideas in mind regarding how to deal with this, how to ensure that the Fire Nation's casualties would be brought back to the Fire Nation itself… when the firebenders hard at work appeared to find something significant.

They were more delicate with that one, Aonu noticed. His heart clenched once he realized who it was.

The non-bending soldiers who were assisting the others carried this latest corpse towards Aonu. They bowed at him, having fulfilled their unspoken mission of bringing the most important among the dead to their figure of authority… and Aonu trembled, unable to respond with proper courtesy, as he gazed upon the crippled, severely damaged image of the man who had once been his greatest frustration, a rival he could never defeat.

Admiral Zhao lay dead before him, and Aonu found he could barely breathe at the sight of him.

He knelt beside the man, hardly giving his eyes credit, when he noticed something in the man's arms: frigid as he was, his body wasn't easy to move… but between his two hands, set over his chest, Zhao held a Water Tribe scroll.

Aonu frowned. His heart beat faster as his fingers rose to touch the cold corpse, carefully removing his hands, even if it was no easy feat due to how rigid they were. After around five minutes of careful struggle, though, Aonu succeeded.

He frowned as he tried to process the meaning of this scroll: all reports indicated victory had been a moment away when the Avatar intervened. It wouldn't be unthinkable for a soldier to bring letters for his loved ones with him, in case he didn't return from the battlefield… but that didn't sound like something Admiral Zhao was bound to do. It didn't suit him… and Aonu grew even more convinced of that when, upon unfastening the scroll, the words at the head of the parchment, written in shaky handwriting, revealed who was meant to read this mysterious, uncharacteristic letter:

To my wife.