Gladiator

by Seyary-Minamoto

In a world where the Avatar wasn't found, the Fire Nation took over two nations and they strive to overcome the last one. Water Tribe warrior Sokka seeks to fight for his people's rights, but he's captured by his enemies. His life is no longer in his hands as he fights as a Gladiator, and his fate will eventually depend on the Fire Nation Princess, who needs him for her own ends...

381. Chapter 381: Negotiations Compromise 3

A/N:

As some of you no doubt have figured out by now, this arc is heavily based around Sokka and Azula coming to terms with each other's experiences. For those who grew up with old-school TV, this is bound to bring back memories of "recap episodes", and it could give you some serious displeasure over this fic featuring anything of the sort, considering it's a fic.

... Only, this isn't a gratuitous arc to extend things unnecessarily. The point of this arc is, as is obvious, to bridge our two main characters and to help them grasp the many truths they weren't privy to all along. It's about their bond, its fragile state after so long apart and so many harrowing experiences, and how they find a way to continue with their relationship... or don't. Thus, I think we have serious stakes here, allowing character development, growth, many things that are highly valuable in storytelling. If none of what I've said so far compels you and you just want more plot even after over a hundred chapters of nothing but plot, feel free to come back in chapter 386. If, however, you've missed these two and their dynamics, and looked forward to seeing them reconnect after all their time apart, this is bound to be a really fun arc for you.

This note is simply a courtesy. Your reading experience is yours to curate. You know what to expect now, and if it's not your cup of tea, it's on you to make the choices that will make you happiest.

With all that said, hope you guys enjoy this one :')

Negotiations and Compromise

3

The familiar climb across the city streets sent shivers down Sokka's spine: it made no sense, none at all, for it to be so exhilarating to return to the place where he had been beaten so brutally by Shaofeng's soldiers, but that house had always been so much more than that. It had become a home for him when he had never believed that possible anywhere but in the Southern Water Tribe. It had been a haven, and whenever it had been desecrated in any way, Sokka had been utterly outraged… but besides bearing witness to such dark moments, it had been the host of the most beautiful ones as well.

He slowed down often, though, turning to look at Azula, confirming she was keeping up with him. She breathed out heavily, relieved not to have coughed again since they had set out, but feeling a weariness she would have gladly shed by now… she raised her eyes to find his, and Sokka offered her a small smile.

"We don't have to rush there," he said. "Take your time."

"Heh…" Azula smiled slightly, too. "That's not… not quite right, is it?"

"What isn't?"

"You should be… taking revenge, if anything," she said, her grin spreading wider. Sokka raised his eyebrows. "Forgot what our first hike together through this city was like? The first time we went to your house, too…"

"That… huh," Sokka blinked blankly. Azula bit her lip.

"As far as I can remember, you were in crutches and I was an ass about it more than a few times," she said. "Not that I'm in crutches now, but… you could speed up and leave me behind. Say that you won't waste your time waiting around for the cripple…"

"I'd rather not," Sokka smiled. Azula chuckled.

"I was quite the bitch, there's no denying that," she said: Sokka clasped her hand, startling her with the welcome, needed contact.

"We were both in the business of pissing each other off as best we could on those days, don't beat yourself up about it now," he said. "It was fun, even."

"You've never had much sense… so it's no surprise that you enjoyed it," Azula smiled, shaking her head.

"Besides, I'd much rather walk beside you than leave you behind. Imagine if you bump into that hobo again, it won't be nearly as fun as leaving you alone to reason with him and his lost caterpillar…"

"Ah. Right. I forgot he'd misplaced it…" Azula chuckled. Sokka grinned, restarting their walk, even if more slowly. "I wonder if he did find it in the end."

"If we find him, I'll make sure to ask."

The tension between them ebbed and flowed, drifting away at times with such ease, most of all whenever they allowed themselves to remember the more easygoing, happier days they had shared. The temptation to simply slide back to old habits, to the craving for intimacy and closeness, damn near overtook them… and it even slid through the cracks in the form of the bold handholding they dared indulge in now. Neither one wished to let go… but fear over what they had to discuss, as well as whatever reactions the sight might result in, should anyone see them, threatened to tear their hands from each other.

Unsure and nervous, they progressed onwards: the path to Sokka's house was so familiar it was easy to walk it without hesitation, taking all the right turns until they reached that long street, with only a few sparse houses, close to the edge of the city's crater. Sokka's heart jolted when he sighted the fence, the front of the modest but nonetheless beautiful home he had lived in across the bright years of his partnership with Azula in the Gladiator League…

"There it is…" he said, smiling slowly as he came to a halt. "Fuck, I didn't think I'd missed it that much, but… it really does feel like coming home."

Azula swallowed hard, squeezing his hand and leaning against his side. Her head rested against his arm. Sokka appreciated it, smiling blissfully: even if the conversation they would likely have would not be easy, reclaiming Azula, and the house they had shared whenever she had the chance to see him, settled as a smooth balm upon his aching heart.

"We… we fixed the door," Azula said. Sokka hummed, eyes raking it to find it of a different color than it used to be. "The floorboards, too… well, I say 'we', but they did most of it. They cleaned up too, but… it's bound to be covered in filth all over again by now. It's been months since the last time we could come…"

"I get it. It's fine," Sokka said, with an earnest smile. "I'll make sure to thank them for it once we get back."

Azula smiled a little. Sokka restarted their way to the house, admiring it faithfully as they progressed towards it, pushing the fence's door open with almost solemnity upon reaching it. The uneven grass certainly spoke of how long it had been since anyone had cared for the place… but Sokka simply walked past it, stepping up to the closed door, smooth, unburned, undamaged. Simpler than it had used to be, yes… but it welcomed him, nonetheless. Much as he had changed, so had this place.

He pushed it open and smiled as the vestibule greeted him. His eyes raked the building with delight, hand slipping more comfortably into Azula's, their fingers intertwining. The Princess gritted her teeth as she kept up with him, her heart pounding as she watched her lover's placid reaction to the changes in his house… to the familiarity in all elements that hadn't needed to be changed at all.

"I really… really never thought I'd ever come back here," he said, with a blissful chuckle. "I'm glad I was wrong about that. It… it feels like we've lost too much as it is. Knowing this place survived… I'm really glad. Thank you, Azula."

"I… I didn't do that much," she said, shaking her head. "I was too pregnant by then, so… they didn't let me do a lot of work."

Sokka tensed up at those words: his eyes raked her body, as though picturing that notion… it dawned on Azula that he hadn't seen her in those days, not truly, not beyond their spiritual bond, and even then… had it ever shown her as heavily pregnant to him as she had been? Some differences had been apparent, yes, but… that one, too? She couldn't remember… maybe it hadn't been obvious to him. Maybe he could only resort to his imagination to picture something that he should have witnessed, at every stage of her progress until she birthed their daughter…

She swallowed hard, shaking her head: that was what they were here for. She had to tell him everything. Mourning what had led them up to this point would avail them nothing if she didn't speak out loud.

"Anyway, let's just… sit?" she said, gesturing at the crimson couch. Sokka hummed, glancing at it before smiling at the sight of it.

"Yeah. Heh. Been a while since we did that," he said. Azula bit her lip.

"Admittedly… we didn't often settle for just sitting on it, true," she admitted. Sokka laughed, leading her to take her seat: she was smiling a little as she followed his lead, and they sank into the cushions together.

Sokka sighed, throwing his head back. He smiled with relief, closing his eyes, and Azula watched him apprehensively, if fondly.

"You're tired," she said.

"Maybe a bit," he admitted. "Maybe a lot. But… we didn't come here to rest, I know. It's just… comfortable, you know? I forgot how much. It's weird, really… the places you can actually call home are so unique. When you wind up elsewhere, even if you happen to have a proper bed, or a sitting arrangement like this… it just isn't the same."

"No, I suppose it's not," Azula said, with a sad smile of her own. A place she had called home was now well beyond her reach, too… and it pained her, no matter if she knew there was no other choice. No matter if she also knew that a place that had been a witness to so many terrible things might just be better off destroyed… none of that could stop the deep, dull ache of knowing her childhood home was gone, never to be returned to.

Sokka sighed before finally turning his gaze on her. Azula had withdrawn her eyes from him, but she met his before long. Silence hung between them, even then… but his gentle smile eased her once it spread upon his face.

"Don't care if it's out of place to say it right now… but you're beautiful. More and more with every day that goes by… as always was the case with you."

"I… continue to be grateful that your eyes are as pretty as they are, and as inaccurate, too," Azula said, with a more playful grin than intended. Sokka scoffed. "I… I doubt I can be any more beautiful now than I was the last time we… well. I don't know. Admittedly, I'd been corrupted by the spear too so… maybe I looked terrible then too."

"You… come on! You've never looked terrible," Sokka scoffed. Azula chuckled, shaking her head. "You're trying to tell me that all those times I got beaten up for whatever reason, you thought I was less handsome? Did you, now? Because if you're about to confess that…"

"If only," Azula smiled. Sokka snorted, her response echoing similar words they had exchanged long ago. "You know I didn't want to be attracted to you back in the day, Sokka. If seeing you beaten up would've stopped me, well… the early days of our partnership would've been much easier."

"Heh. So, if you wouldn't be less attracted to me if I got my ass kicked, don't go around pretending I'd be any different over you," Sokka said, raising his head haughtily. Azula laughed, shaking her head.

"Fuck… you really should be making this much harder," she said, biting her lip as tears threatened to spring in her eyes. Sokka's smile waned. "It feels… it feels like coming home for sure. Talking to you like this… thinking back on old days. It's… it's almost like we haven't been apart at all, but…"

"But we were," Sokka finished. Azula's breath hitched, and she nodded. "Well… we're here to remediate that, aren't we? So… maybe we should just get to it. What do you say?"

Azula shivered: she wanted more of this, the camaraderie, the teasing… the feeling of comfort, of knowing herself fully, deeply loved by the man by her side. But even if she risked losing it… she couldn't let him continue loving her in the past. If he could overcome everything she had done, she would be selfish enough to cling to him and never let go again. But for now… she needed to be reasonable. She had cut that meeting short for a reason, after all.

Even so, she hesitated. She trembled. She opened her mouth, and no words came from it. She lowered her head, ashamed… and Sokka stroked the back of her hand reassuringly.

"Azula?"

"I… don't know where to start," she admitted, breathlessly. "I don't know how to…"

"Well… maybe I should start," Sokka suggested. Azula glanced at him with unease. "Might be better, even, because… the minute I tell you the beginning of my story, you're bound to get so mad at me that you'll realize you have nothing to worry about, over whatever mistakes you made…"

"What? What is that supposed to mean?" Azula said, her unease flaring right away. Sokka swallowed hard.

"Well… you suffered that last moment just as much as I did," he whispered. "When… when I watched you sail away? I… I'd never felt more lost in my life, no matter if I knew the way back to the Tribe just fine. Only some modicum of good sense kept me from jumping into the freezing water and swimming after you… but that doesn't mean I picked myself up and walked back to the Tribe after all."

"You… didn't?" Azula said, eyes widening. Sokka grimaced, eyeing her guiltily.

"I… kind of just flopped there. Dropped on the pier and… lost my will to live?"

Azula's jaw dropped. Sokka swallowed hard, cheeks flushing slightly.

"I'm not… not proud of it. It had bad consequences too," he confessed, flustered. "So, uh, if you really want to know how I didn't just freeze to death? If you're glad that I didn't, too, then… thank your brother for going hunting in the area and finding me just in time, heh."

"You… you did not!" Azula gasped, outraged. Sokka covered his face with his hands: Azula's heavy breath intake sounded as threatening as a dragon ready to unleash an inferno. "Sokka…!"

"I did fuck up! I did. I know I did. And I'm really sorry," Sokka said. Azula scoffed, dropping heavily against the backrest of the couch.

"You're telling me… that I went through all I did to make sure you could go home, and you were a mere walk away and you just…!"

"I did just. And I'm the worst for it, I know," Sokka bit his lip. Azula glared at him skeptically. "You might just be underestimating how desperately I needed you…"

"No, I underestimated how little sense you did have, actually. Guess you spent all of it by not chasing after the Barge across a frigid sea?" she asked: her anger was entirely acceptable, Sokka realized… he smiled, and she scoffed. "No joking matter, damn you. You…"

"I love the fact that I get to hear you scold me for that shit. Call me an idiot… I always knew you'd be pissed as all hell for it," he said, with a sad smile. "I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't want to cause more trouble, but… heh. Guess now you have something to thank your brother for… fixing my fuckups, in a sense?"

"No doubt," Azula said, shaking her head and folding her arms over her chest. "That's not a strong start, I'll have you know… not that I have much room to judge, but still! I can't believe you could've just frozen to death right there and… and if Zuko had been any later, what, they would've thought I just dropped you there to die? Just…!"

"Kind of… is what they assumed anyway. At least, Katara did," Sokka admitted. Azula's eyes widened.

"She… did?" Azula asked, glancing at him with uncertainty. "Really?"

"Let's just say… it's taken her a long time to come around," he said. Azula sighed… but she nodded in understanding.

"I'm not surprised to hear that," she admitted. "I never imagined she'd be nearly as kind as she has been, much less after the things I've done, but… curses, you just made it even worse with that stunt, didn't you?"

"What can I say? I love making our lives more complicated than necessary," he said, with a skeptical smile. Azula's deadpan glare made him shrink in place. "Guess you're not ready to forgive me for that one just yet…?"

"It's going to take a while. Be relieved that I have enough bad stories about myself to compensate for that one," Azula sighed, shaking her head. "You're bound to think we're even at some point or another. Maybe we are, really."

"Eh, guess we'll see," Sokka sighed.

"What happened after Zuko found you? Did you… did you even notice he found you?" Azula asked. Sokka shook his head. "You were unconscious?"

"He had to carry me all the way to the Tribe, is all I know… got to say it's kind of insane that he managed to do that. He's stronger than he looks, isn't he?" Sokka smiled awkwardly. Azula snorted.

"I hope you've thanked him properly for it," she said. "Knowing you when you're miserable, though, bet you wished he'd left you there to… freeze to death. Curses, my father would've laughed his ass off if you'd just avoided death at every turn just to die to something as absurd as…! Seriously, Sokka…"

"I'm sorry…" he groaned, leaning over her, dropping his head on her shoulder. She grimaced, glancing down at him to find Sokka offering her his best heartfelt puppy eyes. "I'll make it up to you. At some point or another."

"I'd have thought you already have, but… guess it depends on how the rest of your story unfolds," Azula said, almost threateningly. Sokka smiled.

"You know… I really do love it when you're mad at me."

"Because you're a masochist. Good to know you haven't changed that much," Azula said, with a dry grin.

He couldn't help himself: he pressed his lips to her cheek, and Azula's heart jolted at the sensation.

"I'm sorry. But anyway…" he said, pulling back and biting his lip. "I should move on now. Scold me more for that one later, if other things don't piss you off as much as that one does…"

"We'll see about that," Azula said, crossing her legs as well by now.

"My experience was definitely different from everyone else's, they must have panicked and freaked out to save me," Sokka said, with a dry grin. "But for me, I… I just passed out on that pier, and then woke up hours later, sore and confused… after dreaming of you, of course."

Azula's heart clenched upon hearing those words. Remorse filled her gaze as Sokka breathed deeply.

"I didn't want to wake up at all, knowing that… that I wouldn't see you once I did. But when I finally opened my eyes, there was a tiny little kid lying down right by me, staring like I was the most intriguing thing she had ever seen."

Azula blinked blankly: she hadn't expected that particular turn in his tale.

"Her hair was dark, her eyes violet-blue…" Sokka smiled. "And for a rather delirious moment I thought maybe a kid of ours could've looked a little like that, but… that's when the other kid walked in, noticed I was awake, and screamed her lungs out."

"Oh. That… sounds painful," Azula said, with a slow smile of her own. Sokka chuckled.

"Your nieces are something, I can tell you that much," he said. Azula's smile softened further. "The little one's called Zi, and when her big sister Mari started screaming, well… she decided to join in on the fun. That's when Suki showed up… she was shocked when she noticed I was awake, of course. I was confused, wary… in some unknown igloo, facing someone I hadn't seen in years. I had no idea how I'd gotten there at all, and… well, I was apprehensive of everything. While there was nothing truly wrong with being there… I couldn't shake off the feeling of wrongness because you weren't there, too."

Azula swallowed hard, her throat thickening with tears. Her hand slid out of her crossed arms position, and it found his over the couch. Sokka smiled sadly.

"Katara showed up after… she jumped to hug me, and I was relieved to see her, even if my heart hurt as badly as it did. She had healed me, so… she fixed much of the damage that might have been irreversible otherwise. Definitely saved my life from my own stupidity… and she also fixed some of my old wounds. The ones from the fight against Combustion Man, the beating from Shaofeng and his goons… so, yeah. We made fun of them as often as we did, but our siblings saved my sorry hide, for sure. Sucks to admit it but I owe them big time for it," Sokka smiled. Azula chuckled, shaking her head.

"Guess I'll have to thank them for it now. Though… I can only imagine the list of people to thank for keeping you alive and healthy is only going grow longer, going forward."

"Maybe so," Sokka shrugged. Azula smiled and nodded.

"And? What happened next?" she said. Sokka bit his lip.

"Well… you do love saying you told me so, don't you?" he asked. Azula raised an eyebrow. "You can go ahead and do it. Because you did."

"In relation to… what, exactly?"

"My dad," Sokka said, with a sad smile.

Azula's chest tightened: the subject would have never failed to sting, but it certainly felt far more raw than usual after what had happened to Ozai merely the previous night. She gritted her teeth, unsure if Sokka would rather continue his explanations after he fell silent. She squeezed his hand to encourage him, and he swallowed hard.

"He… he came to see me then. I think he might have been a little nervous too, but… he hugged me. He didn't… didn't resent me for my mistakes. He didn't tell me off, he didn't… he was so supportive, so kind… he didn't even ask for explanations. It didn't seem like he could ever think little of me, no matter what I'd done, or how I'd ended up coming home… he embraced me again, and I could only cry like an idiot while he did. I never… never really imagined it'd be like that, you know? I hoped so, deep down I did, but… a part of me always thought I deserved to be told off for my stupid mistakes, for everything wrong I'd ever done. So… when he didn't do that? I… I don't know. I couldn't stop thinking of you… of how relieved you'd be to know that he had truly welcomed me home that way."

"Well… I am relieved that he did," Azula said, her throat still thick with tears. "You did deserve it, believe it or not. And… yes, I told you so. If you want me to say it, I'll say it… you're more than worthy of that kind of welcome. Of that kind of love."

Sokka swallowed hard, squeezing her hand gently. Azula's thumb ran over his knuckles, and he breathed out slowly before smiling again.

"I'm glad you feel that way, but… I know I didn't. Not then… not for a while," he said. "I… I wanted to be better to them, I did, but… when Aang showed up, I realized he was Kuzon. You know, he still had hair at the time, so… it was easier to recognize him even with that huge blue tattoo over his forehead, as he didn't have the headband. Katara told me who he was and I… I was mad, for a moment, that they hadn't told us the truth all along. I told myself… if I'd known, maybe I could've brought you home with me. Maybe with the Avatar on our side, you would've made a different choice and stayed with us. I… I did stifle the feelings, I never let them color my relationship with him, but… I was angry at first. I really was."

Azula grimaced: truthfully, she couldn't be certain that she would have made a different choice… but she couldn't deny that knowing the Avatar was alive, and a potential element defending the Southern Water Tribe, might have pushed her to staying with Sokka for sure. It might just have convinced her… but there was no point to pondering such matters now.

"How… how did that even happen?" Azula asked. "Do you know? Zuko said your sister thawed him out, but… it makes no sense to me. I mean, going by those tattoos, he's an Air Nomad. Is he from the survivors we theorized, or…?"

"It seems to be just what Zuko said, actually," Sokka said. Azula raised an eyebrow. "Apparently, my sister was training one day, broke some of the polar casket and… out came Aang."

"That… what? How?" Azula blinked blankly. Sokka shrugged.

"Seems like he might have bent himself into an iceberg when he ran into a storm, on his way to the Southern Air Temple… a hundred and eleven years ago," Sokka said. Azula's eyes widened. "He's a man out of his time. He wanted to go back to his people, to help them when the war started… and an accident caused him to freeze himself and his bison to survive. It's fucked up, I know, but… seems like that's what happened."

"That's insane," Azula said. "And… they survived frozen in there, for over a hundred years? What…? How?"

"Beats me. None of it makes a lot of sense to me," Sokka admitted, with a weak grin. "But it's what happened, it seems, so…"

"Madness," Azula's eyes widened. "The Avatar… wasn't truly gone for all this time. He was just frozen in the South Pole. That's… a lot to wrap your head around. And he truly was alive a hundred years ago? So… he knew the world from before the war?"

"He was training in the South Pole, his second element, when Sozin's Comet showed up," Sokka said. Azula swallowed hard. "There were waterbenders aplenty back then, it seems… so yeah, it's a world apart from what we've known."

"Curses…" Azula whispered, with a heavy sigh. "And he… he doesn't hate the world as it is now? He seems so… placid. Peaceful, somehow. If I'd been through what he faced, I… I don't think I'd have gotten over it."

"Not sure anyone would have," Sokka admitted, gritting his teeth. "Being apart from you for just a year and a few months felt like slow death… I can't imagine being torn from those I love for over a hundred years. I don't know how he had the strength to move on, but… that guy's a lot more than just the Avatar."

"No doubt," Azula said. "Guess we'd have a lot to learn from him, if he really could overcome that kind of horror. But… you did get along with him, then. You didn't just… stay angry about everything they didn't tell us in Whaletail Island, right?"

"No… and admittedly, he made it easy not to be mad," Sokka smiled. "After I recovered a bit… well, everyone wanted to celebrate my grand return. I didn't feel like throwing a party at all, but… it was nice, anyway, to see so many old friends again. Gran-Gran… I'd missed her more than I realized. She was so happy to cook everything I might want to eat…"

"That's a tall order," Azula smiled. Sokka chuckled.

"Kind of. She liked the challenge of it, I think," he admitted. Azula laughed softly. "But… when they threw that big welcome feast, I couldn't take it, really. I just… walked out at a certain point. I was overwhelmed, and I couldn't stand being there while not knowing what you were facing. Zuko came after me… telling me he wasn't about to let me freeze myself to death this time either. He talked to me and, well… at last I confessed some of the truths that I hadn't dared explain until then. It hurt so much to talk about it, but… I had to. I couldn't stand it for another moment, not when you were in all my thoughts. Zuko was caught off guard, of course…"

"By… the circumstances?" Azula asked. "Or… did you confirm our relationship then, and he was still an idiot about it after he knew that we, well…?"

"Maybe a mix of both," Sokka admitted, with a sad smile. "By then, my dad, my sister, Aang and Suki had come by too. Suki… you'll be surprised, maybe even amused, to hear that she was the first one to jump out in our support."

"Oh… oh," Azula blinked blankly: her old resentment towards her brother's wife had faded so far in her mind that she outright snorted at the memory. "Fuck. We've been through so much shit I forgot I ever disliked her in the first place, as well as why…"

Sokka laughed, and Azula joined him at it, covering her mouth with a hand. He smiled affectionately at her, and he continued speaking once she met his gaze with her own.

"She really did feel awful for what we'd been through. Aang did, too. Zuko was shocked… kind of shocked into silence, I'd say. Dad… he was supportive, so much I could barely believe it. I crumbled in his arms, crying helplessly like never before."

"But your sister…" Azula guessed. Sokka grimaced. "Figures."

"It was easier for her to think that you'd hurt me and dumped me to die on that pier rather than ever accept that I almost let myself die there instead of coming home," he admitted. "So… that's how my stupid actions came back to bite me in the ass. She was mad at me for days after that… not that I blamed her. But at least I had other people's support while I sorted things out with her… Gran-Gran? She thought it was great that you and I were in love."

"She… she did?" Azula asked, smiling a little. Sokka grinned back.

"She figured it could only be a good thing if we could fall in love, since it was a sign of hope for a future where our nations wouldn't need to be enemies anymore. She was right, too, but… we'll figure that out little by little," Sokka said, sliding his fingers between hers. "Dad was supportive as well, but… we didn't get to talk thoroughly for a while. I did with Suki, though… she wanted explanations."

"About… what?" Azula asked, wary. Sokka's smile brought her to wince. "Ugh, hell…"

"She was always confused about whether you hated her or not, so…" Sokka said.

"You're trying to tell me that my brother's wife now knows… what an unhinged idiot I was?" she asked. Sokka laughed. "Fuck…"

"Don't take it that badly. I explained as best I could… she was angrier at me than at you, if anything."

"She was?" Azula asked, perplexed. "Huh. Here I thought she'd hate me forever because I ruined her chances with you… and then she had to settle for my brother."

The wicked smirk that spread over her face brought Sokka to laugh anew, pressing his head to her shoulder. Even if her typical malice towards Zuko never failed to amuse her, Azula's laughter faded quickly as guilt took its place.

"I'm not that serious about it, I'm not, but… I mean, it's clear that I'd think you're a better catch. No one can blame me for that," she chuckled.

"I'm happy enough that you think so, myself," Sokka smiled, pulling back again. "The main thing I remember she told me was… that she'd never forgive me if she never gets to have a positive relationship with you because of my bullshit."

"That… oh, no," Azula laughed. "I mean, I don't know how close we would ever grow to be, but… I don't resent her anymore. I'm sure I'd be fine with her these days. I mean, I didn't even think about her in relation to you at all since… hell knows when, honestly. Might as well have forgotten all about that by now."

"Which isn't a bad thing at all," Sokka smiled warmly. "And honestly, if that means she won't hate me for messing up your family… I'll take it gladly."

Azula chuckled, raising her free hand to caress his cheek gently. Sokka smiled back, before breathing deeply and sitting upright again.

"But, of course, her support was its own thing. Zuko was probably still processing the fact that we'd had sex, so I didn't see him for a while…"

"Of course he was…"

"At least, that's my guess," Sokka chuckled. Azula rolled her eyes, but she smiled. "But Katara… well, she avoided me and whenever she saw me, she'd give me killer glares instead. At one point, Aang told me he was looking for her… I joined him and Kino in finding her, and she was all the way back at the settlement. We had a huge, horrible argument… I kind of bared everything to her then. I don't even know how it worked, but… I do know this helped."

Sokka raised his right hand, showing it to Azula: the line of their wedding scar ran across it, and Azula's chest tightened at the sight of it.

"After that, well… things were tense still between us, but not as badly. She was sorry, I think, for refusing to accept that you had loved me… even if she struggled to accept it still. I guess she thought it was easier if you hadn't… that way I was free from something awful and I would never have to leave home again, kind of? But… evidently, she wasn't right about that anyhow. So… the days that followed were a little different because I got down to business. You'd warned me that Ozai was bound to attack anyhow… so I had everyone begin preparing defenses for it. My dad worked with the warriors to build floating bombs, Aang and Katara built ice walls to slow the enemy's likely progress across the bay… and I asked Suki to train the women in combat, in case the Fire Nation's attack was so fierce that they needed to fight, too."

"That sounds thorough," Azula said, nodding. "I did wonder how you'd survived that mess, but… I guess it can't be as straightforward as this anyway, huh?"

"It wasn't, but… our preparations did work out better than expected. I just had to improvise a few things to make sure the best-case scenario would happen," Sokka explained. "But to ensure that Suki could train the women, someone had to watch her kids. Zuko was often busy hunting and such… so I offered to do it. Mari didn't like me one bit, at first… seemed like my suggestion wouldn't work out. But then I came up with a winning idea… one I never imagined would become so meaningful, and that she would take to so well. She liked stories, you see… so I told her one: the story of Princess Jing."

Azula blinked blankly… then frowned. The reality of what he said dawned on her gradually, and Sokka smiled kindly at her.

"I, of course, cleaned up a lot of the sordid details, be it violence or intimate activities," he said, with a guilty grin. Azula's lips parted.

"Huh," she uttered. "B-but, then… you told Mari about me? You… what, told her stories about our past? Our partnership? Or did you make up wholly new things…"

"Nope. All true stories, just, cleaned up for a kid's sake," Sokka grinned. Azula's eyes widened. "I know, I know, it's crazy, but I really looked forward to telling you about this because, believe it or not… you're your niece's hero."

"T-that's… Sokka, curses, what?" she laughed. He smiled brightly.

"She needed you," Sokka said, startling her. "She was… a firebender in a world that hated those like her. For reasons that we understand, sure… but she was just a child. An innocent one, at that. She didn't ask to be born with powers, in a place completely removed from either of her parents' cultures. So… I figured I'd give her a hand, in a way. I offered her the heroic example of Princess Jing to show her that being a firebender could be a blessing, as long as that power was in the right hands. And believe it or not… it wasn't just a hit with her. Before I knew it, I was holding whole storytelling sessions for the entire Tribe. From thinking I'd be despised for my bond with you, and knowing that a lot of people were scared, confused by it… I suddenly found myself surrounded by countless eager people who wanted to confirm that whatever story I'd shared that day was as accurate as that. Katara… I think she came around all the more after hearing my stories. And it wasn't even as painful as I thought it would be… it helped me feel closer to you. So… it was a small balm among the pain. It brightened my days while away from you… at least, for a while."

Azula swallowed hard, tears blinking in her eyes. Sokka smiled at her, warmly, but the grin faded soon enough.

"That good run kind of came to a close when… when I went through my pack for the first time since I was rescued, and I found your necklace in it."

Azula froze. Sokka met her eyes with uncertainty, as the first of many difficult conversations finally arrived.

"I… I broke down again. Thought it meant… a rejection. An ending," Sokka said. Azula gritted her teeth, covering her mouth with a hand as the tears failed to remain in her eyes this time. "It devastated me and I… kind of ran off for a while. Katara found me, talked to me… I showed it to her. Surprisingly… she comforted me. She helped me think of it differently… if just for a little while. Maybe you'd just left the necklace for me as a promise… as something to return to you, once we were back together. Or maybe… you just wanted me to have something to remember you by. Something that was yours, truly yours…"

"Both… are accurate," Azula said, sniffing softly. "But… I can't deny that I imagined the day of our reunion would be decades away. I always thought… twenty years, maybe, until my father died? If even that, I… I didn't know. I just… I know you'd given it to me, Sokka, you wanted me to keep it… but I couldn't. If I had… if it had been discovered, I would've lost it forever."

"I know. Still hurt… but if that's why, I'm glad you did it," Sokka said, his throat choked up too.

Azula sighed: she couldn't take this anymore. Sokka's vulnerable recounting of his experiences overwhelmed her better sense.

She cupped his cheeks with her hands, and she brought their lips together without warning. Sokka responded, perhaps far more eagerly than intended, wrapping his arms around her torso. Azula kissed him repeatedly, as though to soothe him… as though to show him all his worst fears were misplaced. And as much as it might not have been enough, for there was so much more she still had to answer for… it eased him, smoothing over his aching heart, if only slightly.

"I'm sorry for… for hurting you that way," Azula said, pressing her brow to his. "I should've just… should've just told you I couldn't keep it. I was weak, that night, when you gave it to me. I wanted to believe in… in everything you'd said. But… I didn't have the strength of heart for it, not when reality came knocking. I'm sorry… but for whatever it's worth, I always treasured that necklace and everything it meant. I… I held onto yours, too. Just as… as we'd trade them, back in the day, I held onto yours…"

"You… you did," Sokka said, with a slow smile. Azula nodded, kissing him again.

"Though… I left it to Hotaru," she said. Sokka blinked blankly, a questioning eyebrow rising as Azula sighed. "I… didn't know what would happen, in that last fight. I left it to her… hoping she'd have it. Hoping it might lead her to you, if nothing else would."

"Oh… oh," Sokka bit his lip, though he smiled with understanding soon enough. "Well… that's not bad reasoning anyway. Even if… if I'm grateful that it was unnecessary anyway."

Azula sighed and nodded, dropping her head on his shoulder and hugging him tightly. Sokka hugged her back, kissing the side of her head.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I should be the one asking you. Sharing all that as you have… can't be easy," Azula said, patting his chest gently. "Thank you. I… I didn't expect this. Princess Jing's story, I… I never imagined that you'd do something like that. But I'm glad you're that inventive, heh… it's just like you to do something like that, Sokka."

"I figured you'd think so," Sokka smiled, but his grin waned after a moment. "Before I go on, though… I think it might be a good idea if you explained your side too. At least… until the ships showed up. Because, well…"

Azula tensed up. She wasn't sure she was ready to explain… much less after Sokka's surprisingly sweeter stories so far. She gritted her teeth, pulling away, even if Sokka's hands found hers anew.

"I… I guess so," she whispered. Sokka grimaced.

"I know this is painful, Azula, but…"

"It is… and it's no less important for it," Azula whispered, closing her eyes. "Look… even after getting mad at you, I… I can't help but admit that your worst mistakes so far aren't really as bad compared to… to the horrors I'm guilty of. Whether at first, or closer to the end, I… I've been anyone but who I wanted to be. I'm not proud of it… but that's not an excuse. I knew how many people would get hurt… I still did what I did."

"I understand that," Sokka said, breathing deeply. "But I think… I need to understand more than just that, too."

Azula nodded, breathing deeply, calming herself. Little by little, she forced herself to find serenity… to return to the dark moments she never wished to think of anew.

"I… might have been no better than you, if Rui Shi hadn't snatched me out of the Barge's deck and taken me to my room," Azula admitted. Sokka grimaced. "I… cried. Cried until I couldn't anymore. Until I passed out with a pounding headache… until the world faded and all I could do was bury my face in your pillow, knowing I wouldn't see you again. It… it devastated me. But not enough that I couldn't… couldn't remember what was to come. I forced myself out of bed, maybe a day after we left the south, I don't know. I lost track of time. But… I told the guards to leave. I couldn't… couldn't risk them being caught with me."

"Rui Shi told me about that, yeah," Sokka said. Azula breathed deeply.

"Then… you know I said goodbye to them, too. And then I just… waited. Near Whaletail Island. Xin Long was on the deck with me, we just floated aimlessly until… u-until Zhao found us."

Her hesitation to speak his name spoke lengths of what was to come. Sokka scowled, but he smoothed her hands with his nonetheless, hoping to reassure her.

"What did he do to you?" he asked.

"He threatened me, at that point, more than anything," Azula said. "I just… defied him. Nothing really mattered to me anymore, I just… I just knew I had to make sure he couldn't find the guards. I had to ensure he and his forces would leave the area and come no closer to the Southern Water Tribe, if just for now. I agreed to go back… on my terms. At that point, I still managed to do that. They promised not to give them chase. I… I climbed aboard the airship he showed up in, and he took me to the Fire Nation.

"Once there… well, I thought I was so sick over your absence, so anguished by it all that I… I was physically ill over it, too. I… couldn't eat. Could barely drink water. They weren't checking on me much anyway, I lost track of time all over again… and of course, if I tried to force myself to eat at all, I'd just puke shortly afterwards. I… thought I was dying. That my rejection of this new reality was so strong that… that my body was giving up on me."

"But… that wasn't it, was it?" Sokka said, eyes aglow. Azula gritted her teeth, meeting his gaze.

"I didn't realize it at the time. It… it took some more for me to finally… to finally understand. It didn't so much as cross my mind, I…" Azula said. Sokka breathed out heavily, shaking his head.

"But then… you did know, all along, that… that Hotaru was mine," he said. Azula gritted her teeth.

"I did. Which… didn't make what followed any easier," she said. Sokka clenched up anew. "They… they weren't very kind to me once I arrived. They made me… climb down a rope ladder instead of landing properly on the Palace grounds. I was still hurt, as you recall…"

"Pieces of fucking shit…" Sokka scowled. Azula offered him a pained smile.

"Surprising no one," she whispered. "Either way… Xin Long had followed us all along, but he was exhausted. When soldiers crowded around him after he landed, I begged for mercy for him. I asked for leniency and… and I was so stupid as to think he'd get any. Shaofeng said there would be food and water for him, in his refuge… and I was so desperate, so utterly blind by my need for Xin Long's survival that I didn't once question that…"

"It was a trap," Sokka said. Azula snarled, shaking her head.

"So fucking stupid. Whether… because I hadn't eaten, or just because I was too overwhelmed, tired, upset…! It was stupidity. I should've told Xin to fly off. T-to leave me to that mess, and… and then they wouldn't have captured him. But… he went on to the refuge, and I had to… t-to face my father."

Azula breathed deeply, raising a hand to her eyes. She dabbed at the tears before shaking her head.

"Another… another pointless argument. One where… where he was going to win no matter what," she said, with a shrug. "I wanted to take a stand, to make demands and… and all that fell to the wayside when I felt those chains falling over Xin Long's body. It felt… it felt so vivid I dropped on the floor, too. I screamed and begged for mercy… he granted us none. I… I still remember how satisfied he was, seeing me like that, on my knees… demanding that I didn't call him Father. I hadn't listened, until then… but by now, when I knew Xin Long's life was in danger, when that horrible blade hung over his head, I…"

"Fuck him…" Sokka said, eyes blazing with fury. Azula shut her eyes tightly, and she breathed heavily.

"He… gave me an ultimatum. My dragon would survive… solely if I married Zhao, as he had intended. It didn't matter if… if you had beaten his gladiator. You told me that wouldn't mean a thing anyway… of course, you were right. Unsurprisingly," Azula said, breathlessly. Sokka snarled. "I… I didn't want to. I… I thought that, if I was only going to cost Xin Long his life to stay true to you, then… maybe I was the one who ought to die instead. I felt like such a failure… I ran to his refuge, it was shut fully and… and I wept like a helpless fool, not knowing what else to do. I truly… truly wished to die. I thought I wasn't worth anyone's agony to that extent… and that's when Renkai found me."

"Renkai," Sokka said, nodding. "Did he… help you then?"

"He did. Though I wasn't exactly ready to trust him," she said. "But… he said the one thing that could make me… m-make me get up and leave: he told me my father wanted me to visit Mai and Ty Lee."

"What?" Sokka frowned. "Why?"

Azula shook her head before shrugging, in resignation.

"He'd… talked to them, in our absence," she said. "Forced them to become his informants. Particularly Mai. Once Renkai said that had been his command, I guessed he'd done something or another to them… that this had to be a cruel trick of some sort, I was afraid he could've hurt them… all in all, I was glad it was merely spying. They were safe…"

"He… he asked that of your friends. Fucking hell, he…!" Sokka growled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I can't believe he… he saw you suffering to that extent, and he just wanted to push you even more? How twisted can someone be? Fucking…!"

"It's… it's okay," Azula said, reaching up to caress his face kindly. Sokka shook his head. "I know, it was never right, Sokka, but… but it's over now. Please…"

He breathed deeply, forcing himself to calm down. Knowing this wasn't even the worst of her story… knowing she had so much more to share that would anguish and unnerve him even more.

"What… what did you do? Did you go see them?" Sokka asked. Azula swallowed hard and nodded, lowering her hand.

"Fortunately, Ty Lee was there, telling Mai she had seen the airship I arrived in, I think…" Azula sighed. "I was relieved that they were alright. We talked privately, they explained what my father had done… it didn't surprise me at all. I told them about what we'd faced, what happened to us… Mai set some food for me, I was trying to get through it but… I threw it up again. It was a whole mess and I… I told them I thought my body was killing me. Ty Lee freaked out, of course she did, but… that's when Mai realized the truth. She asked about the tea… the last time I drank it. I panicked, I… I didn't want to face this possibility. Not then, not without you, not when my father was only going to… t-to kill our child if he had the chance. I was terrified, I… I couldn't handle that idea. But… Mai had a solution for me, if I couldn't. And I… I chose it, at first. She… s-she could make this medicine, if it can even be called that, and I'd just… I'd just have to drink it. It would hurt, it might have consequences, but… b-but it would've ended things before they truly began. Before… b-before Hotaru could truly be Hotaru."

Sokka's eyes widened. Azula shivered and looked at him apologetically.

"I… I wasn't ready to be a mother. I thought so, anyway," she admitted. "But… turned out I wasn't ready to drink that thing, either."

"No… no, you weren't," Sokka said, chest heaving: he knew she hadn't done it… he had held Hotaru himself, living evidence of that Azula hadn't taken that painful medicine in the end… but the anguish she felt was so terrible that she nearly did it. "Fuck, Azula, I… I'm so sorry. Hell, I… I really should've been there. I…"

"I wish you had been, but… I knew why you weren't. I made my choices, I sent you away, I…" Azula said, shaking her head. "I know you'll say none of it is my fault… but if I'd listened to you and stayed with you, we would've faced it together. I know, it wouldn't have been any easier… but who knows. If you made this work as you did, maybe we… we could've done something anyway, if I'd stayed with you. I… I'm sorry too. But… in the end, evidently, I just didn't drink it. I… broke the cup. Mai said I owed her the mug, and… and I guess I still owe it. That, the clothes, she… she's never going to let me live any of it down, I'm sure."

"She'd better just be messing with you when it comes to that," Sokka said. Azula smiled a little and shrugged.

"I don't mind much even if she isn't… it's mundane nonsense. Feels… feels a lot better to deal with that than with so much other stuff," she said, before drawing in a deep breath. "The thing is, I… I decided I'd have her. I pictured the future we could have, if only everything had happened as we wanted it to and… and I wanted to have our baby. But I knew… if I was going to pull that off, I would have to do horrible things. Terrible ones that… that I didn't want to fathom. B-but… there was no choice. As things stood, my father… he was going to kill Xin Long if I refused to marry Zhao. And… and if I didn't do it, and my pregnancy became apparent, t-then it wouldn't be Mai offering me a choice, it'd be my father forcing that brew down my throat to make sure I couldn't…"

Sokka snarled, but he nodded. Of course… if she had already known she was carrying his child then, the only way out was obvious.

"You needed… needed Zhao as a smokescreen," Sokka concluded. Azula closed her eyes tightly, tears spilling from her eyes as he recited the same words she had spoken, long ago. "If… if you married him, you could try to… to pass the child off as his. At least… through your pregnancy."

"T-that's what I thought. It's what I hoped, but…" Azula said, shaking her head and sobbing. "I didn't think… didn't think it would be easy, no, but… wearing all that shit, dressing up for… f-for some wedding that was utterly worthless, I… I'd never known misery like that. I… I couldn't believe I was doing that to you. I didn't want to think of you because, whenever I did, I'd wish to die all over again and… a-and only our child would keep my heart beating. I only lived… hoping that she would survive. Hoping I could bring her to you one day, because… b-because if it had been just me? I… I might not have made it. I nearly… nearly gave up more than once. That night, I… I wanted to die. I really wanted to die, I…"

She sobbed, tears spilling down her face: again, Sokka couldn't hold back the urge to take her into his arms, ensuring the tears would fall upon his chest. He rubbed her back, a heavy scowl across his face.

"It's okay… it's okay," he whispered, reassuringly, tears of rage burning in his eyes too. "Azula…"

"It's not… i-it's… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Sokka," she wept. He gritted his teeth.

"I'm not… not mad at you, love. I'm not," he said. She shuddered, her sobs even more violent then. "I understand, I… I figured this was bound to be what happened. I… I hate that you went through that, but I don't blame you, okay? I don't. And… look at that beautiful girl, okay? Just… just look at her and know that your hard work to keep her alive didn't go to waste. You were… y-you were facing the worst odds possible. With your father and Zhao against you… you still managed to get through it, Azula. That's no small thing, okay? So…"

"I… I never wanted to…" Azula sobbed. "M-Mai and Ty Lee said… t-to get him drunk, the piece of shit, but he… he refused to even touch liquor that night. But fuck him, he sure as hell had no problem with doing it a thousand times on the months that followed, and…"

"What?" Sokka frowned. Azula shook her head.

"I'm… g-getting ahead of myself. I'm sorry, it's just… fuck, I still hate him so much. I… I really do," she said, pulling back slightly, her hands failing to dab at all the tears spilling from her face. "They… thought I could deceive him. Tell him… he'd lain with me even if it hadn't happened, if he was drunk. But…"

"But it didn't work," Sokka snarled. Azula covered her face with her hands, and he sighed heavily. "Azula… Azula, it must have been a nightmare. It must have been… the most painful thing you'd been through. I get that…"

"Don't…" she sobbed. "Don't just… be kind and forgive me. That'd just… m-make it all that much worse…"

"Yeah? Well, that's too bad," Sokka said, his voice ringing with kindness. Azula sobbed, shaking her head. "Because I don't think there's anything to forgive you for."

She raised her head, looking at him in anguish. Sokka cupped her face delicately, and she saw the tears that spilled from his eyes just as well. He was no better than her, and yet…

"Look… I love you," he said, earnestly. "Nothing in the world can change that. I know how hurt you must have felt… I get it. But… I don't think you were disloyal to me. I don't think you did wrong by me, Azula, I… I know you were fighting for our child's life. And even if this was something you never wished to do… you were so much stronger by facing that horror as you did than you know. Much stronger than I think I ever could have been."

"N-no, you… you would've found another way. You…"

"I don't know if I could have, if I'd been in your shoes."

His words stunned her. He offered her compassion, understanding… Azula shivered, closing her eyes: she couldn't even look at him. She couldn't stand having to hurt him this way with her words… she sobbed again, leaning close, hugging him tightly.

"I… I don't deserve you," she sobbed, with a thread of a voice. Sokka shook his head, soothing her kindly. "I… I'm so sorry. I never… n-never wanted to betray you. I never… it was only once, I… he never pushed his luck again, but… f-for the sake of the child's birth, I…"

"Okay," Sokka said, softly, kindly. Azula shivered in his arms, shaking her head. "It's okay. I… I'm so sorry too, Azula. I know you never wanted that and… if we'd just been more careful, you wouldn't have faced that. But…"

"But then… we wouldn't have her. And I… I don't even want to imagine that," Azula sniffed. Sokka smiled and nodded.

"A lot of awful things happen… to people who did nothing to earn it," Sokka said, reassuringly. Azula sniffed and nodded anew. "Don't punish yourself more, Azula. Don't… don't hurt yourself over something like this, okay? You didn't… didn't ask for it. Nothing you ever did warranted any of what those two put you through, okay? And I… I knew this was a possibility, alright? From the moment I heard you'd been married off to him, I… I figured it was possible. The idea… it horrified me, but I almost wished you'd have done it willingly just so you wouldn't have been in any pain. But…"

"Never," Azula sobbed, shaking her head and hugging him. "That would've been impossible, Sokka, I… I only ever wanted you. If I'd never known you, t-then… maybe I would've been stupid, curious, maybe I would've wanted to find out if… i-if there was anything worthwhile in it. But… but I knew what it's supposed to feel like, Sokka, I did because you showed it to me. Every… e-every single time you and I were together I… I felt whole. I felt I had a place in your arms, a-and… I wanted to have it. I wanted to be with you. I… I never wanted him, I…"

"I know. I know, love, and I'm so sorry…" Sokka said, rubbing her back. Azula wept, shaking her head.

"I don't… d-don't know how I got through it. Don't know… just know it was over eventually, and… a-after that, I didn't want to get out of bed at all. I just… j-just wanted to stay there, ignore him, refuse to face reality, I…" Azula sniffed. "It was an awful time. But I… I had to endure. I had put up with him… f-for a reason. And… and before the wedding, I… I'd confirmed it. I was with child, I had talked to the Head Sage, he used his chi reading to check…"

"Then… he knew all along? He helped you hide it?" Sokka asked, eyes wide. Azula swallowed hard and nodded.

"We wouldn't have made it without him," she admitted. Sokka sighed in relief. "He knew about you and me, he… well, he figured us out because of the indirect bending, we knew that much, but…"

"Right," Sokka said, swallowing hard. "He wasn't upset? I mean, I wasn't considered some big threat back then, but…"

"You were Water Tribe, yes. For… for whatever reason, it seems I'd won him over to the point where he didn't question my judgment or my taste in lovers," Azula said, with a sad smile. Sokka smiled a little too. "At any rate… he told me when to reveal it. And that meant I had to wait… about a month to do it, or else it wouldn't work. And… that's when Rei showed up."

"Oh," Sokka said, raising his eyebrows. Azula sighed, biting her lip.

"Truthfully… I never imagined something would compel me to get out of bed at all. I didn't think anything would ever make me… want to face the world again. At that point… I was so lost in my misery that all I could dream of was an end. I know it must suck to hear it, but… it's been a dark time. A really, really dark time… and Rei somehow shed light in it, even when she didn't have to."

"I'm glad she did. Grateful, even, because… I don't know if you'd even be here talking to me now, if she hadn't," Sokka said, breathing out heavily and raising a hand to cup her cheek. Azula smiled and nodded.

"Well… she showed up one day because Zhao decided he was sick of, well… living as we did. My father dismissed, killed, enslaved my entire staff, hell knows what the fuck he did to them," Azula said. Sokka snarled. "I still don't know. If… if I can find them, in the future, I'll do it for sure, but as of yet, I… I don't know. And he… he wanted me to suffer, clearly, so even something as basic as cleaning my room was… a privilege he was proud to revoke by then. Zhao was tired of it, though, so… he went to fetch Rei. His maid. His daughter, even if it seems he hardly ever thought of her that way, the bastard.

"I was in bed when she showed up. I didn't want to get up, not even when I heard her entering the room. I… I think it was my birthday, when he brought her. Pretty sure it was a coincidence…"

"Your birthday…?" Sokka said, eyeing her with uncertainty. "Heh. I… I was watching over Zuko's kids that day."

"You… you kept track of time to that extent?" Azula asked, her heart clenching up. Sokka smiled and nodded.

"Couldn't stop thinking about you, outright. I even counted the days, I… I don't know," Sokka chuckled, shaking his head. "But I did tell Zi about it. That's when I told her the big secret her sister didn't know… that you were Princess Jing, that is. But, of course, she was a baby at that point, maybe just a little older than Hotaru is now, so she didn't really understand much…"

"Of course," Azula smiled. Sokka sighed and shook his head.

"Rei was to be your new maid, then?" he asked. "He didn't bring her over because… well, because you'd be family, but because she'd be a maid?"

"That's Zhao," Azula shrugged, shaking her head. "She was terrified of me… the first thing I noticed, when I forced myself to open my eyes, was that she was hungry. She was looking at… at my lunch, on the dining table. I didn't want to eat, so… I told her she could have it and she nearly jumped out of her bones in sheer fright upon hearing me speak."

She smiled at the memory, and so did Sokka. Azula breathed deeply, biting her lip.

"She wanted to help by cleaning up, and asked where to find any utensils for it… I told her, and she started tidying up right away. At first, I didn't react much… and she seemed to be so oblivious to my circumstances that I figured, after a while, that Zhao had told her nothing besides, well, that we were married. As time went by, well… I started to talk to her more. And… uh, I'd started doing something, whenever I had the strength to get out of bed, if no one was around. I… I did try to eat sometimes, if I didn't feel too awful, but… it was harder to pull it off somedays. Especially harder when I wanted to throw up and needed to make sure he didn't notice… it was awful. So, sometimes, when I wasn't feeling terrible, or when I was feeling so bad that I couldn't sleep… well, there were times when I just hated feeling him on that bed too, even if he never touched me again, but…"

Azula breathed deeply, organizing her thoughts, hands in her hair before shaking her head.

"Point is, I… I'd write. I'd write letters that… that I'd never send. Letters for… for you."

Sokka froze, and Azula raised her remorseful gaze towards him.

"I… I had no idea how else to deal with your absence. Guess that was… my own take on Princess Jing's stories," she said, sniffing softly. "I… I left one of those letters lying around one day, when Rei arrived. I didn't realize I had done that, I… I had run to the bathroom, I think, puked, and when I came out, she was already cleaning up for the day. And she… she cleaned a lot, far too much, even, so I told her she didn't need to do it multiple times a day. I meant to let her know she could do other things rather than just being stuck there with me… she didn't understand that I wasn't saying it because she annoyed me or so. I just… thought it wasn't fair? I didn't need her to clean up that thoroughly after me. So, well… I suggested things for her to do instead, but she didn't want to do any of it. Eventually, I don't really remember how, the subject of what I wrote came up…"

"Uh-oh," Sokka grimaced. "She saw it?"

"She did… and she proceeded to stash it in the cabinets without taking a proper look at it," Azula said. Sokka's eyes widened.

"She… what?" he gawked at Azula. She smiled and shrugged.

"I was as confused as you are… right until she figured she'd reassure me by saying she couldn't read."

Sokka's eyes widened. His jaw dropped. Azula breathed deeply, shaking her head.

"Obviously, I… I couldn't stand for that. So… I taught her," she said, swallowing hard. Sokka shivered.

"You… you did," he said, eyeing her earnestly. "Of course you… why wouldn't she know, though? I… I thought the Fire Nation was…"

"Not so backwards as to not teach its own people, its own servitude, how to read?" Azula finished. Sokka shrugged. "Well… it's not too hard to guess that Rei's birth mother was, well… not exactly highborn. Zhao was a frequent visitor to a rather unflattering establishment called the Scarlet Oasis… I'm sure you can put it together now?"

"A… a prostitute," Sokka frowned. "A slave?"

"No… slavery wasn't officially a thing back then, Rei's older than that," Azula sighed. "So it wasn't really slavery, but it wasn't precisely a nice thing, either. It was an awful place to grow up in… they treated her terribly. Zhao took her from the Scarlet Oasis and brought her with him to his estate to, presumably, protect her from just… becoming another prostitute."

"And he covered his tracks by doing that, to some extent," Sokka frowned. "He'd have stopped those people from accusing him of having an illegitimate child, staining his reputation by it…"

"You know it," Azula sighed. "Unfortunately… Zhao wasn't the worst of Rei's parents. Believe it or not."

"That's insane," Sokka said, shaking his head.

"They raised her for most her life. Zhao didn't do right by her in most ways, but at least he was an improvement over that nightmare, hard to believe as it might be," Azula said. "But I could still… could still do better. So… I took to teaching her. How to read, how to write… it was stuff I'd never imagined I'd teach anyone, I didn't even remember how I'd learned, but…"

She slowed down upon finding that, as emotional as he'd been moments ago, Sokka now gazed at her with a tender smile. A foolish, eager part of her heart stirred at the sight of it.

"Sokka…" Azula whispered. His grin widened.

"Doesn't surprise me. Finding ways to help those who didn't even realize they needed it… that's just who you are," he said. Azula shivered, gazing at him with heartfelt gratitude.

"I… I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. I know you won't be, too, but… I am glad I helped Rei. Strange as it might sound to you… she's become a part of my life I don't want to ever let go of. Back then, I didn't imagine just how much I'd grow to love her, but… the truth is, I didn't take her in because Zhao forced me to, if you thought so. He… he actually didn't want us growing any friendlier, once he realized that she was closer to me than he'd intended. But… that's for later, I guess. Either way, point is… I helped Rei. She was thrilled to learn, and I was blown away by how smart and quick she was for all these matters. That she was never taught any reading or writing didn't mean she would never be any good at it… little by little she improved, and she gave me more to do, to look forward to every day, until…"

Azula breathed deeply. Out of sheer habit, her hand fell upon her flat womb.

"The month passed, and for once, I didn't hide it when I felt sick that day," she whispered. Sokka frowned.

"Did Zhao notice?"

"He wasn't there. Hardly ever was, and I preferred it that way," Azula said. "Renkai and Rei were, though… he found the physicians. The bunch of gossips had to have suspected… both that it was pregnancy, and that it might be yours, so they all turned up in my room and they just wanted to… you know."

"Of course," Sokka frowned. "And where exactly was Zhao during all this? And Ozai? Both were…?"

"I don't know… maybe plotting what happened to your Tribe," Azula admitted, remorsefully. "The truth is…"

"A month passed. And you had no say upon any of what they wanted to do," Sokka finished for her. Azula nodded.

"I'm sorry. I know I promised many things I… I failed to fulfill," she said, swallowing hard. "I knew they would likely attack, but… I had no way of stopping it, no way of confirming it, no power to try, even. So… I failed you. I have no excuses, never did…"

"It's okay," Sokka said, nodding. "I mean… I knew you couldn't have intervened, otherwise they probably wouldn't have pulled it off at all. So… something stopped you, or many things did. It was the only logical conclusion…"

"I'm still sorry," Azula said, tightly closing her eyes. "They only showed up later… after the Head Sage was summoned to check on me. Zhao… he dragged Rei out of the room when he realized something important was happening. From what I know, he wasn't very kind to her that day. But then… my father, he… well, I think he didn't expect my condition to be pregnancy, at first. But the Head Sage… he confirmed it and ensured to say that the baby was a month old. He lied, faking that his chi reading abilities revealed how far along I was… it seemed that my father was about to lose his mind before he said that, and then he was even more shocked. I… I panicked, threw up, I think, after he left… and from what Rei told me later, what she overheard, it… it looks like both our fathers had a horrible row then. Mainly… my father appeared outraged that Zhao had touched me at all."

"He… what?" Sokka frowned, staring at her in confusion. "You're telling me… the idiot married you off to Zhao and assumed he'd show perfect restraint and never force himself on you? He seriously expected that?"

"Well… all things considered, I'm lucky that he didn't do that at all," Azula admitted. Sokka scoffed.

"Your father couldn't have been sure that he wouldn't," Sokka said. "Much less a man who frequented brothels… which I'm sure your father must have known about Zhao."

"Perhaps, but the fact that Zhao couldn't deny having done it seems to have been some sort of… of breaking point between them," Azula said, biting her lip. Sokka frowned and nodded. "I don't really know the details… by now, nobody does. But… they drifted apart. Zhao returned to my room, at first it seemed that he wanted to check on me and… and I guess that's when it hit him that the child wasn't his. That… that it couldn't be. That I was using him, all along… and he was so outraged about it that he stormed out for about a week after that."

"Huh?" Sokka frowned. "I… I mean, maybe he wasn't happy about it, but why would he be that outraged?"

"Probably because he thought I was deliberately stirring the conflict between him and my father… which, heh, I'd have gladly taken credit for, if that had been my intent. But it never was," Azula shook her head. "I just wanted our child to be born. The fallout… well, it didn't matter much to me. I guess… I was awful. Irresponsible in more regards than I realized all along. But everything I could do to ensure Hotaru would be born safely, I'd do. And… that was all I did. I knew things would get complicated, I thought my father might be a pain because he, too, had to suspect that something was amiss…"

"But… he didn't do anything about it?" Sokka asked. Azula shrugged.

"Without the certainty that the child was yours… he didn't dare act in any way," Azula said. Sokka hummed.

"That's… oddly sensible of him. I guess… I guess I ought to be grateful for that," he admitted, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. Azula sighed.

"Don't force yourself to feel anything you… anything you don't want to. Much less over him," Azula said. "Whatever I felt… it doesn't mean you need to change your mind about him. Back then… I as good as wanted this outcome. If you'd turned up in the Capital in those days, I don't know if… if I would've fought for his life as I tried to. Either way, well… he did make one good choice then, even if it's one he didn't realize would help me as much as it did. He summoned me and Zhao, who turned up on the right day, out of mere chance, to… to meet my new midwife."

"Oh… oh," Sokka said, with a small smile. Azula returned it.

"I didn't know what to expect. I thought midwives weren't important until the last stages of pregnancy… but it seems this is how it's done in royalty. Never saw any pregnancies of the sort myself, so… either way, Zhao was acting out, being an ass, showing his worst colors I'd say. Rei told me then about what she saw between him and my father… I didn't know what to think of it all. I sent her and Renkai to the gardens, and I went with Zhao to meet my new midwife… who, as you may suspect, was our undercover Song."

"You… you didn't give her away?" Sokka asked, amazed. "I can imagine it might not have been easy to recognize her when she looks like this now, but…"

"The change made me do a double-take," Azula acknowledged, with a weak smile. "But I did recognize her quickly enough. Her demeanor was entirely different, she was the picture of an obnoxious upstart, ever looking for chances to demonstrate just how smart she was. My father didn't remember her, neither did Zhao… not even Fei Rou recognized her even though he saw her and spoke with her far more than the others did. But the minute we could be alone together, I… I just hugged her and cried like I hadn't in weeks by then. We talked about so many things, I explained my circumstances, and I… I felt horribly selfish, I did, but having her around… it was such a relief. Rei had grown on me so fast, but… she knew nothing about who I was before. She didn't know you, how much you meant to me, she… she was new, but Song wasn't. She… she took the false name of Wen, you know? In honor of… of your ridiculous joke, Niece Wen?"

"Yeah… when we heard about her fake name, Rui Shi and I figured that was her," Sokka smiled. Azula chuckled.

"She was hiding as Lo and Li's niece in Ember Island when my father summoned them to come look after me. They declined because of their old age… and sent her in their stead. It might be one of the best things those two ever did for me. I guess, if I get the chance… I ought to go thank them for it. They really saved my life without knowing it."

"I'm really glad they did," Sokka said, earnestly. Azula swallowed hard. "I was worried, you know? You, facing this hell all on your own… I did believe you would be strong, but I was terrified of whatever shit Ozai might inflict on you. I didn't want to imagine it at all… but when everything suggested that Song was with you, I really hoped it would be true. More so if she was always right there by your side… I didn't think Mai and Ty Lee would have a chance to do that, so…"

"Yeah, they didn't. I couldn't check on them nearly as often as any of us would have liked," Azula said, nodding. "My father wanted her to help him keep tabs on me, another spy… of course, it was a bad choice, considering it was Song. She never gave him any information that could've meant anything important…"

"Constantly trying to use your friends against you, though… piece of shit," Sokka huffed. Azula smiled.

"It didn't work in any instance… fortunately. He inspired less loyalty out of them than I did," Azula said.

"Of course he did," Sokka said, proudly.

"Either way, the one issue we had left when Song arrived was… Renkai. He was the only one who would recognize her for sure, and of course he did. He left Rei in the gardens for a while and… and he simply came clean to us. It wasn't easy for him, I… I threatened to cut him down with Wolf's Bane, even…"

"I can't really blame you," Sokka admitted, eyes wide. Azula smiled. "When I heard he was around you I was so angry, I thought he was just spying on you still, and… but Rui Shi was happy about it. I didn't get it, not at all… then he explained what Renkai had been doing, their agreement right when things fell apart, and I really hoped his trust in him hadn't been misplaced."

"Well… it wasn't," Azula said, reassuringly. Sokka smiled back. "It took me a long time to trust him, of course… more so after he admitted that he tried to give us away to Shaofeng once, a long time ago, back when he was first assigned to the Third Squad. He didn't have solid evidence, Shaofeng turned him down… sometime later, Renkai realized the true menace was Shaofeng instead. He unraveled that Shaofeng was the man behind slavery, but… we couldn't really do anything about it, in our position. He's investigated as much as he could, there's a connection between Shaofeng and Koshing, I told him to reach out to Koshing's gladiators…"

"They were in the Dragon's Pit," Sokka said. Azula's head jerked upwards. "They joined me for the final push, they… I'm pretty sure they're still around. If you guys need to talk to them…"

"That… that would be very convenient. Very agreeable," Azula said, nodding. "Well… something more to do after we're done here, then."

"Right," Sokka said, nodding. "Then… Renkai came clean, and you guys accepted him?"

"Song was a lot more charitable than I was. But I made him swear that he would protect all of us… me, Song, Rei. Rei turned up later, too, she had no idea what was happening, but her first conversation with Song went well. So… that's, I guess, when things somewhat stabilized for me. I had the three of them, and… and things were a lot better for a while. It wasn't always good, no, but… it wasn't until that awful night that things took a turn for the worse."

"Which one?" Sokka asked, frowning. Azula breathed deeply.

"Well… for starters, as time went by, I wound up explaining things about you, about us, to Rei," Azula said. "I expected her to react poorly, but… she didn't. She was confused, curious, and… curses, at one point she found one of my letters for you. I dared visit Xin Long on that day, the guard in charge of him took pity on me and allowed me to see him. Renkai helped me feed him, clean him, it… it was a heavy day, but at least I lightened his load slightly. But when I came back, Song said Rei had managed to read some of the letter, she had found it by accident… and she could read far better now."

"So… she understood what it said?" Sokka asked. Azula smiled awkwardly.

"She did… but she misunderstood its intent entirely. She thought I was writing love letters for Zhao," she said, eyes wide with derision. Sokka winced. "I admit… I burst out laughing when Song told me so. The mere idea, I… it made absolutely no sense, but of course, Rei didn't know who you were, so… Song did give her some idea about you then, and sometime later, after I… after I found your haiku, I broke down in front of her."

"My… oh," Sokka frowned. Azula smiled sadly.

"It blindsided me. I was looking for an abacus for her, she asked for one… she likes math far more than calligraphy or arts," Azula explained. "But I didn't realize it was all in the same cabinets and… I just broke down. I'd been trying to cope with your absence, and it wasn't going all that well, but I could get through the days on some level… right until something reminded me of better days so strongly that I couldn't take it."

Sokka sighed, raising a hand to cup her face. She gripped it, kissing the inside of his wrist.

"I told her about you then. Not everything, we didn't have the time for that… but she talked about her past, too," Azula said. "It's how we learned about where she had come from… what Zhao had saved her from, even if it was bound to be for his own benefit. We grew closer then… but it also helped, finally, to believe that I could find some peace with your memory by explaining who you were, and why you changed my life. She loved to hear our stories, even if I hardly ever went in-depth with them, but… it helped, a lot. Still… the dark night I mentioned happened after that, actually. It… it was when Zhao suddenly turned up one night and… a-and he told me that my father had sent troops to the south. It was the first I'd learned of that, and… and I went to confront my father about it. Renkai accompanied me and…"

Sokka tensed up, reaching to clasp her hand as Azula breathed deeply to calm herself.

"I confirmed it. He didn't even try to deny it. He was… in his awful, dastardly behavior once more and I… I pleaded. I begged him to withdraw the troops, I offered him anything he wanted. Only… only for him to say it was already done. That you… you were dead."

Sokka frowned. Azula breathed deeply, raising her gaze towards him.

"I fell apart. I… I couldn't stand the thought of you being gone. If you weren't around… what was the point of anything? Why would I even try, I…?" she sighed, shaking her head. "I gave up… on myself, on Hotaru, if just for that moment. I… I was ready to die."

"Did you… do something?" Sokka asked, frowning. Azula sighed.

"Almost. Kind of," she said, swallowing hard. "I got lucky because… because I learned you weren't dead after all, that very night."

Sokka's eyes brightened. Azula met his gaze with uncertainty.

"It was no illusion… no hallucination, right?" Azula asked, her voice trembling. "I saw you… in that strange, white place, and…"

"You did," Sokka confirmed: tears flooded Azula's eyes. "I… I did try to tell you, it was our spiritual connection… I guess I'll explain that now, but fuck… I'm so sorry. Fuck, I really thought… I hoped he wouldn't tell you, or that he'd give away the truth without realizing it, if he did, I… I'm so sorry, Azula. I'm so sorry."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and tightening his grip around her. Azula sobbed for a moment, arms tight around his torso as well, her face on his shoulder.

"How… how did you do it?" she asked, caressing his back kindly. "What happened? When did he attack, what… what did he put you through?"

Sokka breathed deeply, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Well… we were ready, or as ready as we could be, when they arrived," he said. "I'd… had a talk with my dad, right on the day when it happened. He helped me, listened to me… I even told him about Rhone. I never had meant to, but… I felt I had to tell him."

"Did he take it poorly?" Azula asked. Sokka sighed and shook his head.

"He understood. As usual, he… he's ten times the man most are," Sokka said. Azula smiled.

"He passed that on to you," she whispered. His heart tightened, and he kissed the top of her head again.

"Maybe," he whispered, softly. "He… talked to me about my mom, too."

"Your… oh," Azula rose to her full height again, pulling back from Sokka. He breathed deeply.

"He… he had compassion for our situation because of her, to a fault," Sokka explained. Azula raised an eyebrow. "He told me how hard it had been for him, after losing her… he shared how he tried to cope with it by imagining he was speaking with her, sometimes. By trying to think of how she'd feel about whatever events were going on around him. And… by believing, always, that she's waiting, no matter what comes after we die. It's even… a comfort to him, I think, knowing that he will see her again by then. He believes that firmly."

Azula trembled and nodded, gripping Sokka's hand gently. He sighed.

"But that's why he encouraged me… not to give up unless the situation between us ever grew that hopeless," Sokka said. Azula tensed up, eyeing him with uncertainty. "He told me that I hadn't lost you yet. We still had hope, and he and mom didn't. As long as both of us were alive… we could fight to return to each other."

"It… didn't occur to you until he said that?" Azula asked. Sokka smiled sadly.

"I won't say that I didn't daydream a million times about returning to you somehow, of course I did, but… it didn't feel like a real possibility until I spoke with him. And just as I was trying to reason with how to go about it? Well… we came back from the hunting trip where we talked about all those things to find your father's fleet was approaching. Black snow… it'd been a long time since I'd last seen it. So, I organized our troops, and we got ready to fight back."

Azula swallowed hard and nodded. Sokka's face hardened when he spoke of the battle, offering a glimpse of the General he had become while she had been away from him… admirable, and terrifying, all at once.

"At first, it looked like our defenses might fail. The bombs did go off eventually, though… quite effectively, too. The ships seemed about to withdraw once a few went down to the bombs, I realized… and I knew they were here for me. So, I had some of the men help me hoist a chunk of our defensive barricades, carrying that to the top of the cliffs around the bay. Zuko set that on fire, on my request… and I had their attention then."

"W-what? You…" Azula gasped, eyes widening.

"I raised my sword, made sure they'd come for me by offering myself as the kind of bait they'd be too tempted not to rise to. The plan was to get all their ships inside the bay, and once that was done, my sister and Aang would lock them in by building a final ice wall," Sokka explained. Azula's jaw dropped. "As you can tell, I'm here… clearly, that madness didn't go as poorly as you might fear it did."

"H-how did you…?"

"Well… many things helped. They built that final wall really fast, that was a big advantage," Sokka said. "Zuko and others were ready to fight the stragglers who managed to survive from the sinking ships… and I led a rather crazy venture to capture a ship, actually."

"Oh?" Azula blinked blankly. Sokka smiled.

"It was horribly risky, can't deny it… but it helped. We used the emergency skiffs to infiltrate one other ship… the one I was riding on, we turned it around and attacked as many of the Fire Nation's ships as we could until they took us down. It caught them by surprise, having to fight one of their own ships, but we couldn't do that forever. Once my sister and Aang finished the wall, they helped us too… but before they could, my dad was wounded. Their forces had finally started landing their hits. He decided to send our stolen ship, full speed ahead, to ram into the other ships, just as we were disembarking… but he got hurt. I had to take him, jump off the deck with him… I got hurt, too, when we landed on what was left of one of the defensive walls. But… by that point, the fifty ships were either sunken, trapped or on their way to being entirely defeated."

"Fifty ships… fucking hell, Sokka," Azula said. Sokka smiled.

"It wasn't an easy battle, that's for sure," he said. "But our preparations worked out. So… I know, Azula, it's not exactly something to rejoice in. So many of your people died there… though not everyone did. I managed to save a few, they became our prisoners. They're still bound to be down there in the south… provided your father never attacked again."

"He… he didn't have the resources for it. Barly had the resources for the battles you do know the Fire Nation fought, so…" Azula said. Sokka breathed in and smiled.

"Sounds better when you say it than when Qin does. Anyway…" he said, sighing. "What I wanted to say is that, despite the pain we suffered and how I never wanted to be away from you, it… it might have been the right choice in the end. If you'd stayed too… it would've been an even bigger battle, and maybe that would've been beyond our possibilities. And if you'd never brought me back, if we'd just run off… well, the Tribe would've been destroyed, without any warning. So… it hurt, yeah, but… I did right by my people because you helped me do it. So… thank you."

Azula shivered, but she smiled slightly. He grinned too, leaning close to kiss her brow again.

"I'm… I'm really glad it worked out," she said, a hand upon his chest. "How many losses did you suffer?"

"Not as many as the Fire Nation, but… still a fair number," Sokka said. "A group of Fire Nation soldiers did slip past our defenses… they went for the Tribe itself."

"They…?" Azula gasped. She glanced up at Sokka in shock, and he sighed.

"One of the women died of her wounds after a few days, but in general, Suki and those she trained managed to stand their ground. Suki got hurt, though," Sokka admitted. Azula tensed up. "Not severely, she was much better by the time we left, but… the soldiers got close to hurting more civilians. Fortunately, Zuko and I learned of it fast enough, we flew there on Appa… I took down the remaining soldiers, Zuko handled the one by my dad's igloo. With that… the Tribe was safe. It wasn't easy, but we pulled it off."

"I'm so sorry… curses, I'm so sorry," Azula said, shaking her head and covering her face with her hand.

"It's not your fault… and I know now just how bad you had it, Azula," Sokka said, taking her hands in his. "Hell, when you told me you'd stop him, I…"

"You never really believed me, did you?" Azula asked.

"Not because I didn't want to, love," Sokka sighed. "I know how capable you are. But if I feared for your safety around your father even before things came to this, it got even worse after what we faced at his hands. I knew you'd do your best… but I didn't think he'd listen to anything you had to say. Didn't matter how much sense you might make… he was that much of a bastard. As was obvious by everything he did when he sent those troops at us."

Azula sighed and nodded, lowering her head. Sokka pressed his brow to hers, hoping to reassure her.

"Things… moved along faster after that than you might imagine. My resolve had been built before the battle… it only strengthened afterwards," he said, his voice stern anew. "If I was to keep my people safe… I had to leave the Water Tribe."

"But it wasn't enough to leave… was it?" Azula said. "If my father thought you were there still…"

"He would have kept attacking, yeah. I needed to direct his attention elsewhere," Sokka said. "But I knew I wouldn't do it as fast as I needed to. So… first of all, I had to deter him from sending more ships after us. I got Kino to write a letter reporting my death, we sent it with a broken knife, and I hoped that, if you learned of it at all, you'd get to see that the knife wasn't mine. I really was stupid for thinking he'd show you that, but… I hoped so anyway."

"It's not your fault. I… I shouldn't have found out anyhow," Azula said, closing her eyes. "Zhao told me about the fleet, but he wasn't supposed to. He just did it to hurt me. That was all it meant to him."

"Piece of shit," Sokka hissed. Azula caressed his hand reassuringly.

"It's… it's all water under the bridge now," she said, softly. Sokka sighed and nodded.

"Still irks me, but yeah," he said. "I… I had Kino doing another job for me too. He hid among the soldiers, served as a spy, to learn whatever information he could gather about your situation. Turns out… they knew basically nothing. We did a whole stunt where I pretended I was going to torture him to death for information… a wicked ploy I learned from the best, I'd say."

"Heh. I suppose you did it differently, though," Azula smiled. Sokka smiled too and nodded.

"Yeah, just threatened him publicly, dragged him out of the building kicking and screaming… and then he told me what little he could learn from their conversations that he overheard. I realized Ozai hadn't made most things public… they'd basically assumed I'd done something or another to disgrace you. They didn't understand what had happened, exactly… sucked that I wouldn't learn anything about what was going on with you, yeah, but at least I could push forward with my plans anyway. I gathered the leaders of the tribe, as well as the lot I brought with me all the way here… and I told them I meant to bring the battle to the Fire Lord."

Azula sighed, nodding. Sokka stroked her hand kindly, jaw squared.

"I know it must be painful to hear it… to know that I led forces that way against your people," Sokka said. "I never wanted to hurt them, even if sometimes my rage really urged me to go all out. But… I couldn't figure out another way. If I didn't fight back, it'd happen all over again as soon as your father realized I wasn't dead, and that his troops wouldn't be returning. I had a very small margin to act… and I knew I needed to fake my return to life as far away from the South Pole as possible."

"And that included cooperating with the White Lotus?" Azula asked, a hint of distaste in her voice. Sokka sighed.

"I knew I'd have no better chances, just as I knew it wouldn't be easy. They were the only people with what might count as an organized force that could stand against your father," Sokka scowled. "I didn't really know how I'd find them, but I thought Suki could help me figure that out… her sponsor had been one of them after all. But of course… it was Zuko who did."

"Zuko…? Oh," Azula frowned. Sokka's face hardened, eyes cold and harsh.

"Turns out Iroh had told him to go in a certain direction when he last saw him, in the Fire Nation," Sokka said. "It matched with what I was making guesses at, based on my own understanding of their movements, as well as Suki's information, even if she didn't have much… and of course, it confirmed our suspicions about Iroh being in the White Lotus. It… it nearly made me bail right then and there, I'm not going to lie."

"Heh. That's… that's nice to know," Azula said, with a sad smile. Sokka eyed her remorsefully. "When I heard you were working with him, I… I guess I was about as outraged as you must have been, knowing I'd stood by my father."

"Honestly, it felt about as sickening as siding with your father would have," Sokka said, rolling his eyes. "But Zuko pointed out… if I wasn't ready to team up with his uncle, then maybe I wasn't ready to do this at all. He wasn't a fan of the idea, and he didn't even want to come at first… but Suki gave him an ultimatum. It was either him or her: one of them would join me, and of course, he chose to go himself to make sure that she wouldn't be in danger. He was also a rather useful bargaining chip, you could say, with the White Lotus… they were much more likely to react positively to him than they were to Suki. He had a rather unique political importance, so…"

"So, despite it all… he had to go," Azula said, lowering her gaze.

"I didn't force either one to do it," Sokka clarified. "I told them… if roles were reversed? If I'd had the chance to stay with you, and our family… well, I don't know if I could've been strong enough to ever walk away from that. Blows me away still that Zuko was strong enough to do it. But… he wanted to do right by his family. To make sure that they were never in harm's way again… and that includes you."

"Heh… hard to believe," Azula smiled slightly, and Sokka smiled back at her. "That puts me in an awkward spot. I always was the one charging Zuko for all the things he owed me… and now it turns out he fought while actually hoping to help me? Almost feels like I'm the one indebted to him now, perish the thought…"

"I doubt he'd see it that way," Sokka smiled, shaking his head. "Your brother's grown a lot more than you'd think… but that's something that I'd credit to what happened next, actually. Once we left…"

"He grew up across your wild adventures beyond the South Pole?" Azula asked. Sokka shrugged.

"In a manner of speaking, but… I meant more the very first stop we made after the South Pole," he said. "Aang had a vision on the night before we left, calling him to the Southern Air Temple."

"Oh… huh," Azula frowned. "An Avatar thing, I suppose…"

"Kind of, yeah. But not what he was expecting," Sokka said, swallowing hard. "You see, he apparently had to contact his past life… your ancestor, Roku, at some point. He was his predecessor, and he would be expected to guide Aang or something? I don't even know. Point is, he thought he had to go to the temple for that, and so I agreed to it, since we'd have to take a break somewhere. Appa wasn't about to fly all the way to our destination in one day. We found that lemur, Momo, once we got there… and Aang went into this big hall full of Avatar statues to meditate. But suddenly… something weird started happening to him. He entered the Avatar State, it seemed, but not the right way. It was as though he was trying to hurt himself, which made no sense… so I kind of decided to keep him from doing that by attacking him, giving him something else to focus on."

"You… Sokka? You attacked an overly powerful bender, one who could use all elements, just like that?" Azula said, blinking blankly. Sokka smiled guiltily. "I… I shouldn't be surprised, it's just like you to do something like that, but…! Curses, were you that sure he wasn't going to hurt you?"

"Uh… not really, no," Sokka admitted: Azula's deadpan glare made him laugh again. "Look, I wasn't thinking too clearly during, uh… well, all along, actually. Feels like my mind's only clearing up now that I'm with you again. So, well… we all ended up fighting Aang then, after what I did. It was clear that something went really wrong in his meditation, but we didn't really know what. And at one point I just… I'd had it, you know? Katara and Zuko were doing their best to keep him at bay, and they sure helped me when I decided to jump over a boulder that he hurled at me, and that's when I punch the lights out of him. Literally, too, since he was glowing and all, so…"

"You… what?" Azula smiled awkwardly. "You… punched the Avatar. In the Avatar State. And you knocked him out?"

"I… did," Sokka smiled back.

To his delight, Azula burst out laughing, dropping against the couch's backrest. He laughed guiltily too, covering his face with a hand.

"That… that is the most Sokka thing I've ever heard. You're out of your mind," she laughed, shoulders shaking. "What the hell does it say about me that I'm proud of you for having done that, huh?"

"That you're as given to ridiculousness as I am, I'd dare say," Sokka chuckled. Azula smiled at him, shaking her head. "I'm glad you approve, though. Anyway, it worked out, somehow. He came to, he wasn't glowing anymore, and that's when someone else turned up. An old man, with a long white beard, who called himself Guru Pathik, and he said he was the one who had summoned Aang, not his past lives."

"Huh," Azula raised her eyebrows. "What happened to him, though? Why wasn't the Avatar State working as intended?"

"Because… well, it seemed the past lives weren't very pleased with Aang," Sokka explained, frowning. "He told us they were blaming him for the Hundred Year War's outcome… implying that he had to break out of that iceberg sooner, maybe before Sozin's Comet showed up, as if he had any control over something as fickle as that. I told him then about the things you and I had talked about… about balance, and how the old world had failed to teach anyone why it mattered."

"The things he said in the meeting sounded like what we'd talked about," Azula reasoned. Sokka smiled and nodded.

"Your influence, see?" he said. She chuckled, shaking her head. "The guru actually liked that I'd said that, believe it or not… he seemed to be pretty intrigued by us. Apparently, he had intended to show Aang how to clear his chakras so that he could access the Avatar State at will, but he decided to do that with all of us instead…"

"Chakras?" Azula blinked blankly. Sokka smiled.

"They're… pools of chi inside us," he explained. "They're all centered around an aspect of life and blocked by something negative. If we can keep all the energy flowing, we're supposed to gain some grand awareness of the universe or so… but to do that, we were supposed to detach from all the mundane things and gain enlightenment of some sort or another. I… kind of refused to do that. It sounded like I'd have to let go of my attachment to you, and I wasn't exactly interested in doing that."

"Huh," Azula raised her eyebrows. "How… how did you clear chakras at all, though?"

"Oh, meditation. He talked to us about each subject, made us reason with what we were ailed by, breaking past our barriers and forcing us to reflect on so many things…" Sokka smiled. "I think you would've been happy enough to see it happen, if you had been there. He made me reason with my worth… doesn't always stick, yeah, but it helped a lot to feel that I wasn't worthless simply because of my mistakes."

Azula eyed him compassionately, sliding closer to him on the couch and setting her head on his shoulder. Sokka wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pressing a gentle kiss upon her brow.

"Your brother also had some big breakthroughs," Sokka said, smiling. "That's what I was talking about. I'd say we all did, Aang was horribly anguished after what the Avatars had told him… at one point, the guru had to talk to him alone because he couldn't get over his shame due to all he'd done wrong. Katara and I talked that night… that's when she really seemed to change her mind about us, I think. She apologized for the hard time she gave me at first… and she didn't seem to question my perception of you again ever since. As for your brother, I think what did it was the realization that his scar didn't define him. That he had nothing to prove to anyone, and that he didn't need others to guide him anymore… he could choose his own path, and frankly, he's been doing that surprisingly well ever since."

"Damn," Azula smiled a little. Sokka grinned too.

"It was a good experience, all in all… and I think that's what enabled us to contact each other spiritually, afterwards," he said, his head atop hers. Azula raised her eyebrows. "I… I felt you, at times. It was… well, at first, a sadness that didn't really feel mine. But then, after we left the temple and we were near Gaoling, on our way to the White Lotus's hideout… I felt something absolutely devastating instead. Like… well, a grief that really made no sense for me to experience, nothing had happened to me that should've made me react that way."

"Was it…?" Azula frowned. Sokka nodded.

"Right before we met spiritually for the first time, yep," he said. "So… must have been when you thought I was gone."

"Shit," Azula said, pressing her face to his shoulder. "Curses, Sokka, I… I'm sorry it hurt you like that, I…"

"I'm not. Not anymore, anyway," Sokka chuckled. "Got me to see you again, after all."

"I guess, but…" Azula sighed, shaking her head. "It was an awful feeling. Bad enough that I felt it… worse yet if I spread it to you."

"It's okay," Sokka said, rubbing her arm reassuringly. "But… fuck, this is going to be a little difficult to talk about, too."

"What is?" Azula asked, eyeing him with uncertainty. Sokka swallowed hard.

"I didn't really… do anything stupid this time?" he said. "But, well, we were flying with Appa again, and I was grappling with that horrible feeling, right? The thing is… we had to cross the swamp."

"The… oh, hell. That swamp?" Azula asked, eyes widening. Sokka nodded slowly.

"You'd think it was bad just because we were near it, but… it was worse because some sort of tornado knocked Appa off the sky," Sokka smiled dryly. Azula's jaw dropped. "It spread us out, launching us to different places in the swamp… the others found their way to a specific location, I think they saw visions that got them there? But… that didn't happen to me."

"It didn't help you get back to them, but it did with the others?" Azula asked, frowning. "Why?"

"Well… to this day, I don't really know which part was a coincidence, and which part was intended. Maybe all of it was," Sokka said, swallowing hard. "But I was… well, mad with grief, desperate to see you, and I… I found a white fog. I walked into it… and I found you there."

"Then… that's how our connection happened," Azula said. Sokka smiled, pressing his brow to hers.

"I don't think I need to recount that, we both needed it so badly…" he said. Azula heaved out a trembling sigh before launching forth with a full hug. Sokka's grin strengthened as he hugged her back. "I was so relieved to see you again… so anguished when you told me you thought I was dead, but…"

"You weren't. I knew it was truly you, the minute I saw you again I… I mean, for a moment I thought maybe I'd actually died too. I'd come here, to your room, I…" Azula said. Sokka raised an eyebrow. "I ran through the tunnels, escaped the Palace… I figured I'd just die here, see? By setting it on fire… but after the first spark, I wound up losing myself to that vision and… and seeing you again saved my life. Both mine and Hotaru's, of course…"

"You told me so," Sokka smiled, caressing her face. Azula bit her lip and nodded.

"I wished we'd had more time, but…"

"I did too," Sokka said, pulling her close, pressing his lips to hers once, twice, thrice… then, he buried his face in her neck. "But we do now."

Azula breathed out in relief, her heart alight with bliss: this wasn't at all what she had anticipated out of this conversation, but Sokka was proving to be as kind, as open-hearted, as genuine as he ever was. Relief flooded her along with his every gesture of affection… almost convincing her already that she'd had nothing to worry about. That their love would not shake, would not break, regardless of what they had faced while they were apart…

"But, well…" Sokka said, pulling back: now he looked anxious. Her relief was only slightly dampened, nonetheless. "Even though it was just that small moment, it saved me too. I felt so much better, I… I even thanked the swamp, after spending all that time insulting it to hell and back for what it had done to us, not just then but back with Rhone? I… I told it off for likely showing him exactly what to do to find that fucking Spear. But anyway, uh… that's not the problem. I thanked it, sure, but… I wanted to see you again, even so. I hoped I could, but the fog cleared up. And then I… I heard a voice. It wasn't your voice, though…"

"One of your friends?" Azula asked, puzzled. Sokka grimaced and shook his head.

"It was… a woman," he said, biting his lip. Azula blinked blankly. "She wasn't okay, you see. She… she was lying on the swamp's ground, talking nonsense to rocks, I… I didn't know what to think, but she looked weak and frail and… I figured I had to help her. Thought that maybe the swamp might have wanted me to do that, too. So… I picked her up, carried her with me. She couldn't move, was making absolutely no sense whenever she spoke… it seemed like she wasn't going to survive unless I helped her."

"Alright…" Azula said, eyeing him with uncertainty. "It's not a bad thing that you helped someone in that condition. Why do you sound like…?"

Sokka's grimace brought her to fall silent: he wasn't telling her something… but he was about to, it seemed.

"Meanwhile, the others wound up in a fight with a strange, waterbending tribe in the depths of the swamp," Sokka said. Azula's eyes widened.

"Waterbenders, in the swamp? Really?"

"I have no idea what was going on, they wanted to eat Appa or Momo…? Well, I helped out a bit, I left the woman on the saddle after I found them, and we escaped once we had the chance. We talked a bit, I told them I'd found her, and I mentioned I'd seen you for real, that it was really you, and… well, she reacted, when I said your name."

Azula frowned. Sokka eyed her with uncertainty.

"Then she did again… when someone called Zuko's."

A realization dawned on Azula slowly… so slowly she rejected it, at first, out of pure instinct. For the first time since their conversation began, Azula felt a need to distance herself from Sokka, out of pure impulse, fear, uncertainty…

He wasn't implying what she thought he was… or was he?

Sokka breathed deeply, unsure if to reach for her now. His eyes were earnest, just as hers were wide with fear.

"Zuko… he hadn't detailed her until then, I think. But when he did…"

"No. No way. Sokka, that's not… t-that's not possible. Y-you're not saying…"

"I'm saying… I found your mother in the swamp, Azula."