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Chapter 3.7 [30]

Breakfast in Yasuhiro Ohashi's home was a deeply strange affair. He was welcoming to the point that it bordered on subservience and the long table in the dining room was piled with a dozen dishes; against the backdrop of the worn house, it looked… out of place. The old man sat stiffly in his chair, taking second and third looks between bites at us to see if we were still there.

I couldn't blame Yasuhiro for his nerves because there was no sugarcoating what we were here to do. As Team 10, we had been hired as contract killers—us, kids barely a few years older than his grandson. Then again, shinobi didn't count as human to most civilians so it probably wasn't our age—was his behaviour out of a general fear towards shinobi?

The cordial atmosphere was awkward because the questions we asked him had no business being spoken over a dining table. He answered them regardless, stopping to banish the shadow of his grandson creeping down the hallway to listen in on our discussion.

The information he knew was certainly helpful and a lot more detailed than the bullet-point notes jotted down on the mission scroll. The Jagged Blades had lost half a dozen men in a recent raid, dropping their numbers down to a little over twenty—but it wasn't enough. There were too many unknown variables to risk storming their outpost.

Towards the end of the meal, a hawkish old woman strode into the dining room with her hands clasped behind her back and swept her intense gaze across the table. Nodding once in what seemed to be satisfaction, she stood to Yasuhiro's right at the head of the table.

"This is Chie," said Yasuhiro, gesturing to the woman. "She is the Head Chef at the Empty Plate, a close friend of mine, and the person responsible for our breakfast today."

"Don't overstate your worth to me, Ohashi," Chie said, snorting. "I had the misfortune of crossing paths with you in this life and nothing more."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the accepting nod Yasuhiro gave at her words but that soon proved to be a mistake that drew Chie's ire.

"Is something funny, you whiskered brat?"

"Are you talking to me?"

Chie rolled her eyes. "No, I'm talking to the wall behind you—of course I'm talking to you."

Her… bluntness was a refreshing change from the thirty minutes of servile reverence and completely shifted the room's atmosphere.

I tried to stop my laughter but it proved to be a difficult task. "N-No, there's nothing funny, ma'am. Nothing at all."

Hinata made a disapproving noise somewhere in the back of her throat but didn't say anything. Asuma and Choji, like me, were holding back their laughter, albeit better than I was, which left me to take all of the old woman's scorn.

"We're dealing with shinobi, alright," she said, crossing her arms. "They lie as easily as they breathe, even if Whiskers over here is poor at it."

"Whiskers?" I breathed out, having finally wrestled control of my laughter.

Chie nodded. "Have you looked in a mirror before?"

I decided not to dignify that with a response.

"That's Chie for you." Yasuhiro laughed thinly. "I hope the food was to your liking and if you require anything else, be it lodging or otherwise, feel free to come to me. Let me say this again: I'm truly glad that you are here at last…"

We rose out of our chairs and bowed.

"That won't be necessary, but the offer is appreciated," said Asuma.

Since it was still early in the day, we returned to the inn on the far western side of Tenka Village. Our room wasn't terrible, but after a few days of rough sleeping, my sense of judgement wasn't exactly sound even if the inn's wooden floor was a few notches better than the uneven cave floors we'd got used to.

"Hinata, you look absolutely shattered," I said while Asuma took a deep drag from his cigarette less than a metre away from the three of us. "The bed wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Um…" Her eyes flicked to Asuma momentarily. "...no, it wasn't the bed. I didn't sleep much last night."

"Why? What happened."

She opened her mouth to speak before a yawn overtook her words.

"Once you and this corpse," Asuma prodded a snoring Choji awake with his foot, "went to sleep, Hinata and I went to do a little reconnaissance. Well, not me, but her. I went to arrange breakfast with Yasuhiro Ohashi by turning up inside his bedroom."

I leaned forward, my interest immediately piqued. "How did she manage to get close enough to the Jagged Blades for it to be useful? Isn't her range about thirty or so metres?"

"That's just my omnidirectional vision." For once, Hinata wore a bright confident grin and was just a few degrees shy of puffing out her chest. "I can focus my sight in one direction and see a lot further. While there weren't any above-average chakra signatures in the village when we came in, I wanted to give everything a thorough look to be sure."

I noted that down for future reference and brought my focus back to the mission, nodding at Asuma. "Okay, what did you guys discover?"

"It's all good news! There are fewer bandits than in the mission request. It seems they're down to twenty bastards instead of the original thirty-two."

I nodded slowly. "That's good… really good, actually."

"But remember, Goro Tanimoto isn't the only shinobi," said Asuma. "He has two genin under him of unknown strength, one of whom appears to specialise in kenjutsu. In terms of chakra, they've got more than Choji, at least."

I grinned. "That's perfect because it means we don't have to change the plan much."

"Slow down there," said Asuma. "Just because we don't know their capabilities, doesn't mean we should just rush in blind."

"Right," I said, agreeing with him. "What's the plan, then?"

"You and Choji are on information-gathering duty today. Try and see what the villagers know about the Jagged Blades that can be useful. Yasuhiro made it clear that they're using the village for supplies: food, weaponry, and the like, so ask around and see if anything useful comes up."

"What about Hinata?" I asked. "She looks dead on her feet."

Asuma nodded. "That's why I didn't mention her. She'll be resting for today. I think she couldn't sleep last night because of the nerves post-watch."

"When are we going to make our move?" I asked.

"That depends on how much information you two can gather since I booked this room for four days. I'm not expecting a miracle. Any habits they fall into, whether they're all holed up in the outpost or come down to the village often, things like that."

"Got it." I clasped Choji's arm and pulled him up. "You heard the man. Off we go."

After stretching, he looked at Hinata with obvious concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Choji," she smiled, "just very tired is all."

"And here's another thing," Asuma interjected. "Split up. Naruto's still limited to this side of the village in case they have a sensor, so Choji, you'll have the eastern side."

"What about food?" Choji asked. "We're going to be out all day, right?"

"500 ryo should be enough." He fished through his back and pulled out a handful of coins for the both of us alongside pouches since we didn't have any pockets. "Any more and it'll look suspicious."

I tied the pouch around my belt. "Just to double check, there aren't any specific questions you want answered, right?"

"Nope. Just general things about the Jagged Blades to help verify Yasuhiro's information. Besides the two genin-level ninja—which Hinata discovered—we haven't learned about anything we didn't already know."

"What makes you think the villagers know anything more?" asked Choji.

"They probably don't, but it can't hurt to try." Asuma shrugged before sitting up. "Oh, buy me a bottle of sake on the way back. Alcohol's cheap here; make up some bullshit about buying it for your parents."

Downstairs, the innkeeper seemed to be nursing a hangover from the previous night's drinking. He was slumped over the desk and groaned feebly when Choji and I passed him.

We continued walking for a while before splitting up with a firm handshake and wishing each other good luck. I spent less than an hour wandering around, listening in on conversations along populated streets, hanging around stalls, and mixing in with kids running about. Moral quandaries aside, children were up there on the list of things that disarm people of their suspicion.

During that hour, I hadn't picked up on anything interesting; the village pretended that the Jagged Blades weren't sitting on a hill not too far east from the city. Not that I blamed them, but the lack of information was frustrating; I couldn't go to the smithy because it was on the eastern side of the village so that left only one place—The Empty Plate.

Honestly, I didn't want to go; I only decided to because of Chie. The inn pushed the limits of what counted as "west" and was also the most popular place in Tenka Village. It sold good food, the alcohol was decent, and the beds were better than the shithole Asuma had us living in.

I bit the bullet and circled the building in search of a back entrance of some kind. The rich aroma of soup grew stronger and I soon stopped in front of a half-closed door positioned at the back of the building. Peeking through it, I spotted Chie standing on a raised wooden block, snapping at three nervous chefs scurrying about the kitchen.

"Freckles," she pointed at a freckled guy stirring a massive pot, "add some water to that soup."

I slipped through the open door. "Please, may I have some food?"

The three chefs that Chie was ordering about stared at me and looked back as one to Chie.

Realistically, I figured this wasn't the first time some hungry child infiltrated the kitchen in search of food—especially since the rogue shinobi had settled in—so my strategy wouldn't bring undue attention onto myself. I was also a little hungry so getting myself a snack while carrying out Asuma's order killed two birds with one stone.

Chie pulled out a roll from a basket and pushed me outside. "What do you want, Whiskers?"

I nibbled at the cold bread.

"Well, out with it!"

"I'm looking for people with information on the Jagged Blades," I said, keeping my voice down. "It doesn't have to be important, but it's best to diversify the information sources we have. Do you have any suggestions?"

"Why ask for food then?" She tutted. "It's a waste of food."

"I wasn't lying about being hungry."

"You ate an hour ago."

I shrugged. "I need to eat a lot—growing body and all that."

"There's not much we villagers can tell you because we're not shinobi," said Chie, huffing out her words. "However, if you're looking for more people to question, you can go to my serving girl—though she's not working today."

"Where can I find her?"

Chie pursed her lips but eventually grunted out where her serving girl's house was. Luckily for me, it wasn't that far from the inn I'd slept in.

"Before you go," Chie's voice stopped me mid-step, "understand that you might want to approach the conversation with some tact. Yumi… the last few months have been a troubling time for her."

"Troubling how?" I asked, but she wouldn't answer and shut the door in my face.

Slightly annoyed, but mollified by the roll I'd gotten out of the exchange, I walked to Yumi's house, arriving a little past noon. Now that the sun was on full blast, people had retreated into the shade of buildings—most of the kids running about had sought shelter in their homes, but a few idiots were still outside.

I knocked on the door.

"Yes, who is it?"

Yumi was apparently an exhausted-looking young woman with chestnut-brown hair and hazel eyes. She squinted through the sunlight, holding her child closer to her chest. I looked over her shoulder—surprisingly I was taller than her—but couldn't see anything past the darkness of closed blinds despite it being the middle of the day.

"Can I come in?" I asked, smiling and returning my gaze to her face; it didn't change the distrust on her face. "Chie sent me." She turned to the side, brow furrowed doubtfully, but let me in after a long moment. Once the door closed behind me, I relaxed a little, following her down the corridor. "Do you live alone?"

She stopped and turned around, hiding her… son, probably, from view. "...Why do you ask?"

"Don't worry, I'm not an enemy. It's an important question, so please, answer it—are you alone?"

"Yes," she said. "I am alone."

"Great." I grinned in as friendly a manner as I could. "Look, Chie said you'd be a good source of information on the Jagged Blades. My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I'm a genin of the Hidden Leaf."

She stiffened.

"Wait," I said, afraid she'd ask me to leave, "just give me a moment to explain. You all commissioned the Leaf by pooling your resources—it was in the request—but we can't afford to tip off Goro Tanimoto and his men by revealing our identities—which means none of you can know we're here."

"Why tell me?" she said, jutting out her chin. "I've had it up to here with shinobi and I'm not anyone important."

"That sentence alone says otherwise." I shrugged lazily, channelling my inner Asuma to hide my annoyance at her lack of cooperation. "The more information you can give me, the sooner we can make our move on Goro Tanimoto. True, your help isn't going to be a deciding factor—but think of it this way: do you really want to upset the help that you hired for no apparent reason?"

Instead of answering, Yumi closed the distance between us before veering left into the kitchen. I made to follow her but she turned around past the door threshold and shook her head. "Take a seat in the living room. I'll be there with some tea in a minute."

So, I sat across from her in a living room as dark and glum as the hallway, nesting a cup of herbal tea. Not willing to drink any tea from a stranger, I placed my cup down on the floor between my legs and leaned forward.

"Why the animosity earlier?" I asked. "It's a strange reaction to have towards an otherwise adorable kid like me—even if I told you I was a shinobi."

That got the morose woman to smile, even if it only stayed on her face for a split second before vanishing.

"I…" she wrung her free hand, fidgeting with the fabric of her clothes. "wasn't sure if you were who you claimed to be."

I nodded. "Fair enough. It's not every day that a kid turns up at your door and claims to be a shinobi."

She shook her head. "It's not that. About a week ago, a group of strangers came to the village—there were three of them—and started asking questions about the Jagged Blades. They had to be Leaf shinobi because visitors don't come to our village anymore, so I told them everything I knew."

I stopped a frown from forming on my face because I needed her to keep talking. "Can you describe what they looked like?"

"I'll do my best, but I don't remember the details because they were wearing hooded robes." She furrowed her brow. "I think one was a woman because they spoke the most and had a gentle voice, but I'm not sure."

"Right…" I nodded once, maintaining a calm exterior.

Inwardly, though, I was panicked beyond belief because too many unknowns had piled up in the space of minutes. The most likely explanation was that another group of shinobi had come to collect the bounty on the Jagged Blades and they were aware of our presence thanks to Yumi's misunderstanding.

Had they packed up shop and left? It would fit Yumi's recount of things seeing that the Jagged Blades were still up and running. Hinata hadn't picked up any extraneous chakra signatures nearby either… but it wasn't like she looked further than the outpost.

A week was more than enough time to grab the bounties and disappear, so if they didn't, it meant that they probably had some kind of grudge against the Leaf. Was it Hidden Stone shinobi? Technically, sending foreign shinobi into enemy countries was against the peace treaties, but the major villages broke that accord all the time. The only other option I could think of was Hidden Sound shinobi, but seeing that Orochimaru planned on entering his subordinates into the Chunin Exams, making an enemy out of the Leaf wasn't something he planned on doing until he was all good and ready.

So, who could it be?

Swallowing hard, I put a stop to that train of thought, focusing on Yumi once again. "Thanks for the information—we'll look into it and see who those strangers were. Now, what can you tell me about the Jagged Blades?"

Her eyes darted to the wall beside the door where several pictures hung in rows. She kept her eyes level with the ground as she spoke. "They appeared out of nowhere one night, taking anyone who looked strong to renovate the old watchtower east of the village. All they do is hunt other rogue shinobi—for money, probably—and raid villages. Whenever they return, they fill up The Empty Plate, eating and drinking to their heart's content for free."

I remained silent, just absorbing her words.

As a shinobi, I wasn't under any illusion that the occupation was a moral one. I was paid to carry out any number of tasks on behalf of whomever Lord Third decided. Today, it was exterminating rogue shinobi and taking the bounties on their heads—tomorrow it could be silencing a perfectly innocent person who overheard the wrong information.

But man, these Jagged Blades made it easy to get some vindication out of an otherwise grim job.

"One afternoon, my husband, Kashiigi, h-he—he'd had enough of the way they were treating me and stormed into The Empty Plate." She furiously wiped at her eyes, snarling out her next words. "And those… those animals killed him for it! Goro Tanimoto comes by every few weeks with gifts and jewellery, but it's only so he can show his men that he conquered me by getting me to sleep with him."

I grimaced, not bothering to hide my disgust.

Yumi's pallid face was flushed and her eyes darted about frantically. "I'd rather die than give that bastard the satisfaction!"

"Okay." I nodded once. "Thank you for telling me about this. It was definitely helpful in clarifying Goro Tanimoto's character to me."

She nodded slowly, sagging into the couch as the surge of energy left her. I looked around at the dark living room, the clothes strewn about. Despite the self-inflicted darkness, Yumi's house was generally in an okay state, so maybe she hadn't completely given up on living a life. My gaze dropped to the baby—who I now knew to be a little boy called Kentaro—sleeping soundly against her chest. Little Kentaro would never know the love of his father, who cared so deeply for him and his mother that he defied reason to defend them.

"Let a little light in," I said, rising out of my seat and cracking open the living room blinds.

A wide ray beamed in, illuminating the carpet and the far wall beside the door where the family photos were—lightning up the wide smile on her late husband's face.

"Goro Tanimoto will die before the week is out and while his death won't bring your husband back, I hope it'll return some semblance of life to you and the village."

Instead of waiting for Yumi's response, I let my words be the last thing for her to remember me by. Being a shinobi was an overall shitty hand, but instances like these would help me feel just a little more optimistic about the things I'd have to do in the future.

I returned to the village, wandering about for a couple of hours more to see what else I could find out. No one on this side of the village was likely to provide me with as firsthand an account of Goro Tanimoto as Yumi, but there was still the chance that I'd overhear conversations about other Jagged Blades members.

After wandering about for a solid hour, I returned to The Empty Plate for lunch where I asked Chie for any other sources but all the ones she named were on the other side of the village. The things she knew about the Jagged Blades weren't all that different to Yasuhiro's information either, so after finishing my meal, I returned to our lodging.

Of course, I hadn't forgotten the bottle of sake Asuma had requested. It was a strange request seeing that he wasn't much of a drinker, but I obliged anyway. Hinata was awake when I arrived and Choji had returned before I did, sitting on the foot of the bed while Asuma smoked a cigarette on the far side of the room.

"...I'm back?" I said, though it came out as more of a question.

Hinata smiled, still looking tired but nowhere near as exhausted as before. "Welcome back, Naruto."

"When did you get back, Choji?"

"Uh, not too long ago; half an hour ago at the maximum," he replied.

"Did you find anything useful?"

A dark look crossed his face. "In a way."

"We were waiting for you to return," said Asuma, finishing his cigarette in a single drag before dispelling the acrid scent. He moved closer to the bed and sat cross-legged. "And now that you're here, we can finally put our heads together."

I sat down and passed him the bottle.

"Cheap-looking, but it'll do," he said with a wry smile, setting it down on his left.

"What is it even for?" I asked.

"You'll find out—now, who wants to go first?"

Choji and I looked at each other for a long moment.

"Do you—" "You go first—"

I blinked. "I'm not going to say anything for the next ten seconds."

"...Okay, thanks," said Choji, shaking his head. He readjusted his sitting position and cleared his throat. "When I went to the eastern side of the village, I walked around for a while to get a mental picture of the area. There were places packed with people like streets full of stalls but I didn't overhear anything except gossip."

"Same here," I said and we shared a nod.

"But then I found a smithy."

I perked up at his words—Yumi had mentioned a village smith so it stood to reason that there'd be a smithy somewhere.

"The Jagged Blades put in a big order of kunai and shuriken at the start of the year. The thing is, they shut down the trade routes in and out of the village, but they provide smiths—Mr Naomichi and his apprentices—with the materials from their raids."

Hinata frowned over her blanket. "Are they getting paid?"

"No." Choji shook his head, looking legitimately angry. "Mr Naomichi and his apprentices have families but apparently, Goro Tanimoto says that providing the raw materials is payment enough."

"If he hadn't shut down the trade routes, he wouldn't have to supply the materials in the first place! And it's not like he's giving them the materials to do with as they please—he's commissioning them without pay!"

I remained silent as the two seethed over Goro Tanimoto's cruelty—they weren't wrong at all.

Asuma hummed. "This Goro Tanimoto seems like a cruel sort of guy, doesn't he."

The two of them nodded firmly.

"We'd be doing the village a whole lot of good by dealing with him as well, right?"

Again, they nodded.

"Okay," said Asuma, adjusting his position, "tell me, what have we been hired to do?"

I opened my mouth. "To—"

"Not you, Naruto," said Asuma, holding up his hand. "I'm asking Choji and Hinata."

I held back my grimace because I could see what Asuma was about to do from a mile away.

"We've been… instructed to deal with the Jagged Blades on behalf of Yasuhiro Ohashi, the Chief of Tenka Village," said Hinata, looking slightly confused while she spoke.

"Choji, what does that involve? Hinata was a little vague by referring to our mission as dealing with the Jagged Blades."

Choji frowned. "We're going to—uh… kill them."

"Right you are. Goro Tanimoto is a bastard through and through, there's no doubt about that, but we're going to kill him—is that the right thing to do?"

"We're putting an end to his evil!" Hinata's eyebrows rose into an arch. "If he hadn't tormented the villagers, they wouldn't have hired us to kill him. The Jagged Blades are reaping exactly what they sowed."

"And we're some kind of moral authority now?"

His words gave both of them a moment of pause.

"I think," said Hinata, speaking slowly, "that we are doing the right thing."

"You two are misunderstanding something crucial about being a shinobi. You're kind children, and that's something I want you to hold onto, but not before you hear this," said Asuma, looking at me. "Naruto, what is a shinobi?"

"A shinobi is a blade for hire who will do whatever is instructed of them by their kage."

"And what is the Will of Fire?"

I pulled my lips into a thin, hard line. "The Will of Fire is the dominant shinobi philosophy in the Leaf, impressing the need to sacrifice everything for the village and its people."

"It sounds like it's all well and good doesn't it?" Asuma nodded, returning to Choji and Hinata. "But one day, you could be hired to go and do something your conscience will immediately say, "hell no!", to. What then?"

Hinata frowned into her blanket and Choji looked contemplative.

"We might be doing the moral thing now, but our job is anything but moral. To convince yourself otherwise is hypocrisy—and there's nothing more dangerous than a hypocritical shinobi." Asuma frowned deeply, his face looking more grave than I'd ever seen it.

Despite that, it didn't look like Hinata had truly understood what Asuma had said. I saw a retort forming on her face before she shook her head and leaned against the bedframe and Choji remained silent, still thinking things over.

Right and wrong, as it related to shinobi, would be a difficult thing for them to grasp… at least, until they experienced it firsthand; that was where the real cost of being a shinobi reared its ugly head.

Following orders was an easy thing to do when those orders aligned with your worldview—but what happened when they didn't and the cost of disobedience was death?

"You might not understand it now, but one day, you will. I just hope you remember my words," said Asuma, sighing softly, and pointing at me. "Naruto, what did you discover today?"

"Mostly the same thing as Choji," I said. "I ended up speaking to a serving girl from The Empty Plate; Goro Tanimoto killed her husband and orphaned her son."

Hinata's gaze snapped onto me and I could see the righteous anger wrinkling her brow. Asuma saw it too and closed his eyes for a long moment, taking a breath.

"Go on," he said.

"The Jagged Blades treat the village as a free resource and because they shut down all trade in and out of the village, they've made everyone reliant on them," I said, running my tongue along the inside of my cheek in thought. "But I also discovered that a group of shinobi might be trying to take the bounty on the Jagged Blades."

"How?" said Hinata. "I scanned the village before we entered and then watched the outpost. There weren't any above-average chakra signatures."

"The serving girl told me that three people came to the village around a week ago and were asking about the Jagged Blades. When she inquired if they were Leaf shinobi who'd come to exterminate them, they didn't deny it and no one's seen them since."

"Sensei, what are we going to do?" asked Choji, looking troubled. "They could be enemy shinobi."

"They probably are enemy shinobi." Asuma frowned. "Standard procedure for a fresh genin team says outside interference by other shinobi—foreign or otherwise—is enough grounds for us to turn around and go home. People will hold you retreating on your first outside-village mission over you for a while, but it's not career-ending. I'll leave the choice in your hands, as you'll eventually reach ranks where you have to make these calls yourself. Do you want to continue the mission, or should we go home?"

That was the question, wasn't it? On the one hand, we could avoid having to fight enemy shinobi of unknown rank. Tenka Village would still be freed from the Jagged Blades and we could count the mission as a success in a moral sense.

We wouldn't be abandoning the villagers to the Jagged Blades' cruelty, anyway but where did that leave us?

The next thing we'd have to deal with would be an invasion of Sand and Sound Village shinobi, Orochimaru, and Gaara. Not only that, we would have to deal with all those threats without any prior battle experience. Asuma could probably hold his own against most threats. Choji, Hinata, and I had been training hard for years so we weren't the typical genin.

If not for that, I'd vote to go home in a heartbeat. This… it was doable—we were in the dark about the shinobi's identities, but it wasn't necessarily an impossible task.

I clenched my fist—the decision was made. "I think we should do it. We need the experience, even with the threat. So long as we're cautious, we shouldn't be taken unawares and we can change our strategy with an ambush in mind."

Choji folded his arms. "I'm not sure…"

"...I'm with Naruto," said Hinata, even if she looked hesitant. "The threat of unknown enemy shinobi… it's a big one, but I think we can handle it if we keep a calm head. You said shinobi execute their orders to completion, right?"

"Naruto said that not me," said Asuma, smiling, "but I get your point. Fine, we'll go ahead with the mission, but we're going to change the plan of attack. Instead of having you and Choji split off when Naruto and I make our rush at the outpost, we're going to storm it as one. Then, we'll deal with the rogues as quickly as possible."

"What if we get ambushed on the way there?" Choji asked.

I shook my head. "It wouldn't make sense. Why attack us when we'd be expecting it the most?"

"I agree," said Asuma. "If they're going to ambush us, it'll happen either during or after we clear the outpost; they'll take advantage of the chaos, or get us when our guard is down."

"Can we use that against them?" asked Hinata.

"How?"

"Well, if they attack during the battle, we can use the Jagged Blades to defend against them just by running away."

"What happened to morality?" He smiled at her with a raised brow. "Isn't that kind of evil?"

She blushed but was still fighting off a smile. "It's tactical," she huffed out, "and it's the least they deserve!"

"Alright, alright, I'm kidding—" Asuma raised a hand, chuckling—"but what if they ambush us afterwards?"

Choji's hand shot up. "We can pretend we're tired and then ambush them right back!"

"That's… not how an ambush works," I said with a snort, "but you've got the right idea. We won't even have to pretend to be distracted—none of us have killed anyone before."

Whatever optimism our brainstorming had brought swiftly evaporated with my reminder. It was a topic we'd been deftly avoiding on the journey here but seeing that we'd committed to a course of action, I decided to rip the bandaid off.

Choji very visibly didn't like the idea of becoming a killer, but I could see the logic warring with his emotions—he had a very expressive face.

"Something tells me I won't have much trouble with the Jagged Blades," said Hinata, frowning.

Asuma rolled his eyes. "Saying it and doing it are two different things."

"Exactly," I said, setting my jaw. "And besides, I'm not looking forward to killing them either. Their shittiness aside, a life holds weight."

She broke eye contact with me and pushed open the shuttered, wooden window, looking onto the village below.

"Here," said Asuma, making a sudden move for his back. He rummaged inside it, pulling out the lids of our flasks. "Here's a drink for each of you; take a glass and wait on my call before you drink anything."

I watched him open the bottle of alcohol and pour about a shot's worth into each lid. Choji, Hinata, and I took the three lids, clutching them awkwardly as he poured out a fourth using his own flask lid.

"Why are we drinking?" Choji asked. "Isn't it for adults?"

I tilted my head from side to side. "Legally speaking, we are adults."

"Physically speaking, we're children," Hinata shot back, eyeing the sake inside her flask. "Though it's not exactly forbidden. I used to drink diluted wine all the time at clan gatherings."

Choji stared at her in surprise. "Really?"

"Those ceremonial drinks are nothing compared to the real stuff," said Asuma, holding his lid out. "Come on, hold yours out too, kids."

We did so tentatively, watching him to see what would happen next.

"Naruto's right—no matter what happens tomorrow, you're going to take human lives. Lives, not life. It's an experience that will change you, no matter your thoughts on it—" he looked at Hinata, and then at Choji, before his gaze settled on me. "—but don't let it overwhelm you. Accept it for what it is—don't shrug it off—and when the mission is complete, we will talk. I won't leave you guys alone, so you can take a little comfort in that, alright?"

We nodded and his usual easy smile slipped across his face.

"Good—and now that we've got that over and done with, bottoms up!"

He threw his head back and we mirrored him. Choji and Hinata let out two simultaneous sounds, wrinkling their noses. I swallowed the sake a beat after them—feeling its bittersweet burn down my throat. That night, we went to sleep, knowing that we'd receive a baptism in blood the very next day.

The realisation sat in my stomach and I didn't quite know how to feel about it. Like Asuma said, taking life and thinking about it were two vastly different experiences. I just hoped that when the time came, I wouldn't hesitate—because if I did, I could just as easily lose mine.

I had to be able to stomach murder not only because it was a necessity, but because I'd do just about anything to avoid the powerlessness of feeling my very existence slip away into nothingness again.