Chapter 12: A Mad, Mad Lab
That night, in another part of the jungle, Yzma had set up camp. There was a luxurious tent set up for Yzma…while Kronk got a tiny tent that didn't even cover his waist. This didn't seem to bother him, though, as he slept quite soundly with his teddy bear. Not far away, Amber and Emerald were snoozing next to a tree…well, EMERALD was. Amber couldn't fathom how anyone could with Kronk's quite audible snoring.
"Man, he can snore…" Amber said.
The two seemed to be sleeping quite peacefully…
Until they realized something in perfect unison.
"THE PEASANT! AT THE DINER!" they both shouted.
…
"He didn't pay his check." Kronk said.
"I know. What a jerk." Emerald said, "People in food service work hard and deserve to have their time properly compensated."
The two then promptly fell back to sleep. As soon as they were snoring again, Amber looked at the two of them with a confused look, "Well, that happened…"
The instant she said that the two sprung up again, having reached an epiphany.
"It's the peasant I saw leaving the city who disappeared into the crowd with Kuzco in the back of his cart!" Kronk said.
"Which means if we find the peasant? We find Kuzco. We find Kuzco? We find my stowaway," Emerald swiftly realized…and smirked, "Oh yeah."
"It's all coming together." Kronk said.
The two ran for the tent with Amber just behind them.
"Yzma!" Kronk called.
"WHAT?!" Yzma shouted, looking up…with her wig off, facial cream, and cucumbers over her eyes.
"Ugh!" Kronk yelled. Amber quite audibly gagged.
"This had better be GOOD!" Yzma snarled.
"Ooh, wish I didn't see that." Emerald groaned.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
Meanwhile, Lucy and Kuzco continued wandering around the wilderness. Lucy glanced up at the sky, seeing the sun coming over the horizon.
"Huh, sun's up already?" She asked.
"Yeah, looks like it..." Kuzco grunted, wandering away with his head hung low in sadness. Lucy ran alongside the despondent llama.
"Hey, it'll be alright! You never know, maybe the guys are at the palace gates right now." Lucy said as the two of them slowly walked into an open field, where several other llamas were enjoying a hearty breakfast of green grass.
"Why? Not like I gave them enough reason to try anything." Kuzco murmured, "And why do YOU care? Your friends up and ditched you, too."
"I don't know, I guess that's just how I am. I'm not one to back out of helping another." Lucy said as she played with her fingers casually.
"Well, get used to the llama life, red…'cuz that's all I got now." Kuzco murmured.
Lucy watched as Kuzco walked ahead and groaned with a frown, feeling really bad for the poor llama.
With a sudden flurry of darkness, Shadows appeared.
"These things AGAIN?" Kuzco shouted as he ducked for cover.
Lucy gasped and summoned her sword, she held up her hand in defense and glared at the Heartless.
"Come on, give me your best shot!" She said defiantly.
The Heartless began attacking, Kuzco running away while screaming his head off.
Right as she was about to strike, the bangle hanging from her wrist began to glow, and a lovely melody that sounded a lot like pan pipes filling the air. Lucy looked down at her wrist and felt a huge rush of energy flow through her, as she began to emit a glowing, pale green light.
"Now that's what I'm talking about!" She yelled as she held up her sword, "Hi-yah!"
Lucy dashed forward with her sword, slamming into the Heartless and causing them to vanish. She then leaped into the air and slammed her sword's blade down, emitting a loud soundwave to shoot across the ground.
"Feel the music!" The sound of a large pipe organ firing on all cylinders filled the air and the shockwave sent the Heartless flying back. When the blows hit, the Heartless vanished in puffs of Darkness. Kuzco walked over to Lucy's side.
"So…that was…something." He said, shocked.
"No, that was…amazing!" Lucy said, panting as she looked at her blade as the glowing slowly faded.
"Well…it'll be safe, anyway." Kuzco said. He then said, "Hey, Lucy…sorry about…well, y'know."
"Hey, don't sweat it Kuzco." Lucy said with a hand wave. "I'm not the kind of person to hold grudges, it's just part of my nature."
"Sounds kinda like…uh…huh…" Kuzco said, apparently having an epiphany, "Yeah."
With that, he began to walk away until they entered into a small valley. Lucy placed her hands behind her head as the two made their way into a field. Up ahead, some other llamas were enjoying themselves by munching on some grass. Kuzco walked over to the llamas and began grazing. He took a large mouthful of grass, chewed, swallowed, and gagged.
Some of the llamas narrowed their eyes at Kuczo and flapped their lips before moving to another part of the field. Lucy frowned, feeling sorry for the emperor. But right there, she heard a familiar sounding voice, and saw some of the llamas crowded around a part of the field.
"You know, they're kind of cute." Said a female voice that Lucy recognized,
"Hmm? Becca...?" Lucy asked, turning her attention towards the source of the voice.
"So, there we were, out standing on a cliff. The ground started to rumble and, just as it started to go, he grabbed me before I fell. Do you believe that?" Pacha's voice asked.
"Yeah, sure the guy was a jerk, but call me crazy? I think Pacha's right—there's SOME good in him. It's why I said we should leave Lucy with him…maybe we should've told her that? I'll have to apologize." Sakuzy's voice said.
"Hey, not like we could leave him all alone, am I right? He's a lousy llama." Joyex's voice said.
"And he IS a really lousy llama. Right, Yozora?" Becca's voice said.
"…zzzzz…"
Lucy and Kuzco found the four waiting for them. Pacha was sitting on a rock with Sakuzy right next to them. Becca was petting one of the llamas with a knowing smile on her face. Yozora…was fast asleep, snoring softly on the grass. Joyex was right next to him and quickly nudged the sleeper with his foot.
"Up and at 'em, ya lazy bum." Joyex said.
"Gimme a break, guys…" Yozora yawned before he finally sat himself up, rubbing his eyes, and his gaze rested on Kuzco. He casually waved, "Hey. You tired of being a llama?"
"Guys, I just…I…" Kuzco stammered. He then realized he didn't need to apologize at that point…so, instead, he bawled, "YEEEEEES…!"
Becca then put her hand on Lucy's head, "Sorry we ditched you back there. I didn't like it, but Sakuzy made a good point about you."
Lucy smiled warmly at Becca and looked over at Sakuzy, "So I heard.
"I'm…still learning the ropes of this whole 'leader' thing." Sakuzy said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Pardon me for interrupting but," Yozora called out, "Howzabout we hurry on back to the palace, give your Keyhole and take care of Kooz Two's Scary Godmother and the Candy Crush Crew?"
"Yeah. Let's." Sakuzy said, summoning his Keyblade.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
Immediately, the group was running through the jungle, coming up on a rather nice-looking, scenic hill. Apparently, this was Pacha's village…that Kuzco was apparently going to demolish for his summer home. Jury was still out on whether or not he'd do that.
"Okay, we're just gonna stop at my house and get some supplies." Pacha said.
"And then we're on our way?" Kuzco asked.
"That's the plan!" Sakuzy said.
"Let's go, then!" Becca said.
As the group made their way into the village, they passed by two old folks who were in the middle of playing a game of checkers.
"Hey there Pacha! Good news, your relatives are in town!" One of them said.
"My relatives?" Pacha asked, perplexed.
"Yeah, we sent 'em up to your house." The other one said.
"What'd they look like?" Pacha asked.
"Well, there was this big guy, a fellow in green, a girl in orange, and this old woman…uh…how would you describe her?"
"Uh, scary beyond all reason." The first old timer said as he made his move on the checker board.
Yozora froze and asked, "Did the fellow in green have a haircut that looks like a bird's butt?"
"And was the lady in orange accompanied by a horrifying death machine that she treated like a little puppy dog?" Joyex asked.
"Yeah, that's them!" The old man said.
"Oh no…" Joyex sighed.
Yozora was already on the move…and halfway up the final quarter of the hill.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
In the house at the top of the hill…
"So, tell me again how you're related to Pacha?" asked Chicha, Pacha's (noticeably pregnant) wife. Sitting in chairs were Yzma and Emerald, who were sitting in chairs as she served them tea.
"Oh, well, I'm his third cousin's brother's wife's step-niece's great aunt…twice removed." Yzma said.
"She's my great-great-great-great-" Emerald began to add in, counting off on his fingers, "great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-"
Yzma grunted at Emerald's continued stream of "great" before asking, patience wearing thin, "Isn't that right, Kronk?"
Kronk was with Amber…and skipping ropes with Pacha's children.
"Eighty-nine monkeys jumpin' on the bed…" the girl, Chacha, sang.
"One fell off and bumped his head!" Amber and Kronk sang in perfect unison, clearly enjoying this way too much.
"You know, I am sorry that you came all this way, but…like I told you, Pacha is not here." Chicha said, "But I'm sure he'll be happy to hear you stopped by."
"Oh, that would be just GREAT!" Yzma said…"accidentally" knocking her tea cup to the floor, "Whoops! Silly me!"
"No, no…" Chicha said, flatly, "Allow me."
While Chicha tried to navigate bending over with a swollen belly, Yzma cartwheeled over to the other room and began skipping with Kronk and Amber.
"She's hiding him someplace! When I give the word, we search the house!" she hissed.
"Okay, but we still got 87 monkeys to go!" Kronk said.
Yzma then cartwheeled back...growling in irritation at Emerald's continuing stream of the word "great".
"-great, great, great- oh, hey, lemme handle that-" Emerald stopped for a moment and, with a flick of his wrist, he whipped up the tea into the air, now a small spinning ball, "There we go- great great, great…"
Chicha, though, noticed Pacha out the door, motioning for her.
"E-excuse me for a moment! I think I left something in the oven!" She said, walking out.
Yzma just looked perplexed, but grabbed Emerald and dragged him into the other room. All the while, he KEPT listing off the "great" string.
"Now this is my own variation of double dutch. On the signal, we all switch places." Kronk said, twirling two ropes as Amber jumped along with Tipo on one side.
"KRONK, IT'S TIME!" Yzma shouted.
"Got it!" Amber said, swapping making Yzma hold the rope. The would-be empress looked quite aggravated as she twirled the rope…all the while Emerald just kept it up.
"-great-great-great-great-"
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
Pacha quickly explained the situation to his wife.
"So, we have to get him to the palace, find the lab and change him back." Pacha said.
"And we need to find something called a Keyhole." Sakuzy chimed in.
"And keep it away from those robed guys." Joyex finished.
"Hi there!" Kuzco said.
WHAM!
Chicha hit him in the face with a frying pan.
"Uh…that was him." Sakuzy said.
"Whoops." Chicha commented.
"In fairness, we all wanted to do it at least once on this journey." Yozora said as he leaned in, "Oh, congrats on the baby, by the way!"
"He's not WRONG." Sakuzy shrugged.
Becca was trying to get Kuzco up, "Come on, big guy."
"Alright, I'll distract them. You get going as fast as you can." Chicha said.
"You got a lovely wife. Both very pretty…" Kuzco said, dazedly.
"-great-great-great-great-" Emerald's voice still spoke loudly from inside.
"…How long has he been doing that?" Yozora asked, raising a brow.
"Probably a while." Becca said, "But let's not stay and find out!"
"Just get going." Chicha said.
"Right, let's go." Pacha said, running off.
"Can do." Yozora saluted, as he turned and dashed off with Joyex just behind him.
"Hoped to have stuck around longer. You've got a lovely home." Sakuzy said, jumping away as Pacha left with a still-dazed Kuzco in tow.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
"What do you mean the door is stuck? Maybe you should jiggle the handle." Chicha said, snickering in front of a locked door.
"There IS no handle!" Yzma snapped.
"There's not? Are you SURE?" Chicha asked, looking at her children...and holding the now removed knob in her hand.
"-great…great…great…"
…Emerald was STILL listing off the 'greats', "Great-great- hey, gotta say, these ponchos are made of FANTASTIC material, by the way, where can I get one? - great-great…"
"ARE YOU THROUGH?!" Yzma shouted.
"…Great-great grandma." Emerald paused. "…'s mother."
Yzma roared in frustration, "Alright, I've had enough of this! Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground!"
"Um, pretty sure you mean OR." Emerald interjected.
Yzma growled, "Tell us where the talking llama is OR we'll burn your house to the ground!"
"Well, which is it? That sounds like a pretty crucial conjunction." Chacha asked.
"THAT'S IT! EMERALD, BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!" Yzma shouted.
"'Emerald, break the door down'!" he mimicked with a put-on, screech voice, "Sheesh, lady, who died and made you Empre-oh wait. Never mind."
"Amber!" Yzma snapped.
"Fine, if I crack, I'll blame you." Amber said. With a small THUD, she fell flat on her back.
"Fine! BE THAT WAY! KRONK! YOU break it down!"
"Break it down?! Kiddin' me? This is hand-carved mahogany." Kronk said.
"What kinda monster would want to destroy a wood as fine and high quality as mahogany?" Emerald added.
Yzma then snapped, "Fine! I'll do it myself! One…two…THREE!"
Chicha, though, opened the door and sent Yzma careening outward. She landed flat on her face and saw the heroes running away, "THERE THEY GO! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!"
"Well, coulda seen that coming." Emerald said, before he dashed out…but ran back to Chicha to shake her hand, "Congratulations on the baby, by the way. And kids, it's always cool to sleep through class! Never forget that! BYE!"
"Yes, congrats!" Amber said following Emerald as the two ran off.
"Let's not wait for the next family reunion to get together!" Kronk said, running after them.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
Immediately, the group was set to flight. Heartless would occasionally hound them, but they kept running…only perplexed that, while they ran, there were little, red crowns left behind them.
Hot on their heels were Yzma, Kronk, and the Crystalli…equally confused by how they'd leave little shapes of crystals behind them. Their only major obstacle was a large chasm…but an arrow and some rope from Pacha helped solve that. Sliding across it was easy, but seeing their pursuers, Kuzco chomped through the ropes and they were quick to bolt.
When their tormentors saw the chasm, Emerald called down one of his Hawks to fly them over…
ZAP!
Lightning hit the lot of them and sent them directly into the chasm.
And the heroes' escape to the palace was guaranteed.
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
The palace itself was shaped like a massive, golden head, surrounded by guards painted red and blue. Because Kuzco had a good knowledge of the palace, he could get them by easily enough…
What he had more difficulty with, though, was the entrance to Yzma's "secret lab".
As evidenced by Sakuzy coming in from another room, which appeared to be filled with water. He looked quite disgruntled and dragging a crocodile by his cape.
"Okay, why does she even HAVE that lever?" he asked, kicking the reptile away.
Becca had her mouth covered. Sakuzy shot her a look before spotting Joyex covering his mouth.
"Laugh and die." Sakuzy said to Joyex.
"Not doing anything~" Joyex smirked.
"I mean, everyone knows she has a secret lab, suppose she needed some security." Yozora shrugged, shaking his head. He then grasped a lever and pulled hard on it.
With a sudden flip, the seven were crammed into a roller coaster car.
"Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times." came an announcer's voice.
And, with that, the car was flung forward, down the rail.
"Wait, wha-HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Yozora was having the time of his life, flinging his arms in the air with a, "WOOHOO!"
Becca screamed for her dear life but at the same time she laughed. Lucy cheered, "FASTER! FASTER!"
The car then slammed into a ridge, catapulting them off…and winding up in ill-fitting lab equipment.
The group took off the equipment and began took look around to find the vial. As she looked around, Becca noticed a yellow crystal with a lightning bolt on it. Becca pocketed the crystal, thinking Pika-Charm for some reason.
"Let's see. lions, tigers, bears-"Yozora listed off, reading the labels. "Aha! Peop-ah no."
The shelf labelled 'human' was EMPTY.
"It's gotta be somewhere!" Sakuzy said.
"I mean, they all look alike! Maybe they misplaced it!" Joyex said.
"Nope, nope, mm-mm…" Lucy said, looking at every vial she could get her hands on.
"Ahem…" came a sharp voice from the shadows, "Looking for this?"
With that, Yzma stepped out of the shadows, holding a vial.
Yozora's eyes shrank as his head swerved to see Emerald and Amber. "Ah no!" he exclaimed.
"What?" Sakuzy asked, "No way! How'd you get here BEFORE us?"
Yzma looked ready to answer, but caught herself. Clearly she didn't have an adequate answer. She then turned to Kronk, Emerald, and Amber, "Uh…h-how did we get here?"
"Y'know, I'm still working out the details on that myself, last I remember was a flash of lightni—AHA! THERE YOU ARE!" Emerald exclaimed, realizing their 'stowaway' was in sight at last. In a flash of green, with a sound akin to shattering glass, his giant boomerang formed.
"Well you got me." Kronk said, pulling down a map showing the routes by both parties. Indeed, the avatar for Yzma and her cohorts went down a cliff and just…suddenly wound up in the lab, "By all accounts, it doesn't make sense."
"Yeah, probably best not to think about it." Amber said before spotting Yozora. She smiled mischievously. With another flash and shattering sound, her spear formed, "You're a naughty boy, running away like that! But now…"
"And kidnapping a guy off the streets is model behavior?" Yozora shot back, entering a stance.
"Hey, never said we were model citi-" Emerald began before he paused, and his gaze rested on Sakuzy.
Both Emerald and Amber stopped as they saw Sakuzy. Green and orange eyes widened in surprise.
"Saku?" Amber asked.
"Excuse me?" Sakuzy asked, perplexed.
"Kazoo?"
"What?" Sakuzy asked, perplexed.
"How many nicknames do you have?" Yozora asked incredulously.
"Right, okay, you guys are here." Joyex said, bringing out his whip, "So, how about we go find the Keyhole, seal it, and be on our way. And you guys stay out of our face like the good flunkies you are?"
"I can't believe it you survived…" Amber smiled, but with tears in her eyes.
"You just as confused as me?" Becca whispered to Lucy.
"Yeah." Lucy nodded.
"Do I KNOW you?" Sakuzy asked, perplexed.
"Saku, don't you recognize me…?" Amber said, looking shocked. She took a few steps forward, but Joyex blocked her path.
"Dude, you don't know how lucky you've been!" Emerald exclaimed, "You get to travel with AN EMPEROR! We got saddled with living proof that the dinosaurs once walked the Earth!"
"Hey, I said 'back off'." Joyex said.
"No chance of that, sir. See, that llama there? He's being let go. His life's going in a different direction. His body's part of a permanent outplacement…" Yzma said, making Kuzco get…really scared.
"Hey, that's kinda like what he said to you when you got fired." Kronk said.
"Wait, waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait…" Emerald suddenly called out, "Is all of this because you got RETIRED?!"
"FIRED! I was FIRED. There's a difference, you little snot!" Yzma shouted.
"I can't believe this is happening!" Kuzco shouted, panicking.
"Then I suppose you weren't expecting THIS~" Yzma said, reaching for the hem of her dress.
"NO, PLEASE!" Kuzco shouted.
"NO, NO!" Pacha wailed.
"ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Sakuzy screamed.
"I DON'T DESERVE THAT!" Joyex wailed.
"THERE ARE INNOCENT CHILDREN WATCHING LADY!" Becca shouted, covering Lucy's eyes.
"I'VE GONE BLIND!" Lucy yelled.
"I NEED AN ADULT!" Emerald exclaimed, leaping into Amber's arms with a scream.
Yozora just looked confused, staring at Yzma blankly.
"What are you doing?" he asked simply.
After all that commotion, Yzma…pulled the hem up slightly higher to show a jagged knife.
Then things began to calm down.
Pacha and Kuzco sighed in relief, "Ah, okay."
"Was worried there for a sec." Joyex said.
"Yeah." Sakuzy nodded.
"Okay it's safe now." Becca said uncovering Lucy's eyes.
"I can see!" Lucy exclaimed.
"W-WHY ARE WE ALL SUDDENLY COOL WITH THE CRAZY LADY HAVING A KNIFE?!" Yozora exclaimed in dumbfounded disbelief.
Yzma tossed the knife to Kronk, "Finish them off."
"Right, guys. Prepare for another fight." Sakuzy said, summoning his Keyblade.
Yozora did no such thing. He just stared at Kronk before smiling, "You know, you could totally just quit and get a new job, real easy. You make a mean omelet."
Kronk began to look nervous and panicked about what to do…
"Hey, you're not backing down NOW, are ya, big guy…?" a voice said to Kronk. A tiny version of him appeared on his left shoulder, wearing a red devil suit and carrying a trident.
"Uh, where's the other guy?" Kronk asked as his shoulder angel appear in a large salon dryer chair.
"What the…?" Becca said seeing the angel and devil.
"Yo!" Kronk said. The angel made the dryer disappear taking off the curlers and putting his hat and halo on.
"Sorry I'm late! What'd I miss?" the angel asked.
"Well, Yzma just tossed me this knife and asked me to…y'know" Kronk said…to thin air from everyone else present. Yzma pointed to him with a bewildered expression. Pacha and Kuzco only shrugged. Except for Becca and Sakuzy. They seemed to see something…
"Do you see the little men on his shoulders? Or have I finally cracked?" Becca asked her group.
Sakuzy just tilted his head, "So, you ALSO see a teeny angel and devil on the guy's shoulders?"
"Oh yeah…" Becca said as Kronk continued to talk to the angel and devil.
"I think someone's had a stressful day…" Joyex commented.
Yozora could see flickers. It was brief, but he was sure he saw the outline of two…entities on Kronk's shoulder? He just turned to Kuzco and Pacha with an elevated eyebrow.
Lucy narrowed her eyes, trying to see what the others were possibly seeing. She narrowed them as much as she could. At that point, though, what small vestige of patience seemed to vanish from Yzma.
"KRONK!" she snapped, getting her henchman's attention, "Why did I think you could do this? This one, simple thing? It's like I'm talking to a MONKEY!"
"Whoa now!" The shoulder devil said.
"A really, really big, stupid monkey named KRONK!" Yzma continued.
"Ouch." The angel said.
"And you want to know something else? I never liked your spinach puffs!" Yzma concluded. Kronk and his shoulder devil and angel gasped in shock at that. Yzma then repeated, derisively, "NEVER!"
Kronk looked upset as his angel comforted him. He whimpered before weeping.
"That's it! She's goin' down!" The devil said, readying his pitchfork like a shotgun.
"Now, now, remember guys—from above the wicked will receive their just reward." The angel said…as the three looked up seeing a chandler just above Yzma as a chorus of angels sang.
"That'll work." The three said as Kronk cut the rope holding it up.
Everything came to a halt the moment the chandelier crashed. Each person looked in shock and horror…that Yzma was, apparently, slender enough to fit through the holes. Yzma, for her part, just glared at Kronk.
"Huh…that usually works." Kronk said.
"And so does THIS." Yzma snapped, grabbing a vial and pulling on it. It turned out to be a lever…
And opened a trap door right underneath Kronk's feet.
"Shoulda seen that coming." Kronk said as he fell through the trap door, screaming.
"Aww…he was FUN, too." Amber said before turning her attention back to the group. She rested her spear on her shoulder as she said, a lot more casually, "Y'know, Saku, it's not nice to play tricks on your friends."
Noticing that Yzma was distracted, Lucy bit her lip quickly and made a quick decision. She ran towards Yzma and grabbed the vial, trying to wrestle it away from her.
"I'll take that!" She shouted. Yzma yelled as she struggled with Lucy. The vial, though, was quickly pulled from her grip.
"LOOK, I get it." Emerald said as everyone watched the empress struggle with the girl, "You're at the end of your natural lifespan, you feel unaccomplished despite your many, many…MANY YEARS of service to your kingdom, you feel entitled to more than you got. But hey, you were THE EMPEROR'S ADVISER FOR YEARS! He could've probably retired you to some idyllic cottage where you'd be able to knit with your twenty seven cats until a good gust of wind finally carried you off for good! I mean, you have it easy. Guys like ME? We're freaking immortal at this point, basically! I haven't aged a day beyond…what, eighteen? I get stopped for ID all the time! Sure, it also means old age is no longer a factor and I command legions of powerful creatures at my beck and call and these awesome elemental powers, but can you imagine what it's like?"
Yozora was frantically shaking his head, the gears in his head whirling. He frantically said, "No, no, stop, NO!"
"Living forever, forever young, forever semi-covered in a glossy sheen of precious gemstones…"
"Stop talking!" Yozora hastily said.
"One moment." Amber said before hitting Emerald on the back of his head, "Emmy! You're ranting again!"
"Wait, what?" Emerald asked. Before any elaboration could be made, Yzma roared in frustration.
"That's it! I've had it! I've had it with that spoiled brat! I've had it with my bumbling sidekick! And I've had it with YOU!" Yzma shouted, pointing at Emerald, "You and your constant mockery! Well…I'll show you! I'll show all of you!"
She then stomped her foot. Immediately, the tile Lucy was on sprung up, catapulting her into the air as the human vial flew from her grip. Yzma caught onto it as she began shifting and turning various vials. The lab area then began to shift and turn as she began running around.
"Pacha? Take Kuzco and head for cover." Sakuzy said.
"Yeah. You're better equipped for this." Pacha said as he grabbed Kuzco and bolted.
"Kick her bony butt!" Kuzco called as they ran for cover.
"I think that's a given." Joyex said, thrashing his whip as Becca summoned her Keyblade.
Lucy gasped and summoned her sword.
"Bring it on!" she said, glaring at Yzma.
watch?v=NqRD0SLYaKU
Joyex immediately jumped after Yzma only for a burst of purple energy to shoot right into him and send him flying back. The Nobody slammed into the wall and landed in a heap…with tiny, cartoon Chocobos running in circles around his head.
"Hey, Clovis, you grew a beard…" he said, dazedly.
Sakuzy looked surprised…not helped by the panel he was standing under opening up. He yelled and jumped up, narrowly dodging a crocodile's snapping jaw.
A statue standing right behind Yozora suddenly came to life and swung its fist at him. The panel Becca was standing on immediately fell away as several cannons pointed at Lucy and opened-fire.
Lucy gasped and quickly rolled out of the way, the cannonballs that were fired at her exploded on impact in hazes of purple smoke. However, a stray one hit right were Lucy landed and knocked her back.
"YAAH!" She shrieked as she fell backwards and landed on her back, groaning as she got back up, "That hurt…"
Becca jumped to another platform, the other one landing with a splash. Yozora leapt up, managing to fly over the stone fist, before he contorted his body, teeth grit.
"Course she's got more traps! Why did I think she DIDN'T have traps?!" he asked himself, summoning his katana and going for a spinning slash.
"Because this lady is not well!" Sakuzy said as he jumped over to grab the still-dazed Joyex.
"Wow, Clovis, you're real strong…" Joyex said.
"How long's he gonna be like this?" Sakuzy asked as he evaded another blast from the cannon.
The panel Becca landed on then flew up toward the ceiling. As Lucy landed, the panel fell away to another one filled with water while the cannons then fired at Yozora.
"Hey, magic teleporting thing, you could work any time now!" Yozora yelled as he hastily leapt and dodged. He did his best to avoid the cannon fire before he conjured his fishing pole in another hand, "HYA!"
He hurled the line forward after reeling back, hooking it onto a cannonball.
"That should not have worked." Yozora said as Sakuzy jumped back with the still slapped-silly Joyex. Becca jumped off her suddenly-raised platform and gave Joyex a hard hit to the face.
"Hey! Back in the game!" Becca shouted as she landed next to him.
"Clovis, you're kinda…" Joyex felt Becca slap him and he suddenly came to, "What? What's going on? Where's Clovis?"
"Who's Clovis?" Sakuzy asked.
After a second, Joyex just shrugged, "I dunno."
"FIX THIS!" Sakuzy shouted, pointing at everything going on.
"Okay, okay, what's the—" Joyex's contemplation was cut short as another panel opened up. He yelled as he fell down, "GATHER!"
With a THUD, he hit the wall of the pit and quickly climbed back up.
"How much free time does she have?" he asked.
"That's it! You all thought I was mad, but who's mad NOW?" Yzma asked with an insane cackle.
Lucy panicked and summoned her sword, jabbing it into the edge of the panel, saving herself from falling in!
"Howzabout the lady doing all of this because she didn't like her retirement plan!" Yozora yelled out, flailing on the spot as he span around, carried by the momentum of the cannonball he had caught.. before it flew off the hook and rocketed straight towards a lever on the wall.
A stone hand flew…at Yzma, knocking her to the other side.
"I got it!" Joyex exclaimed, "Whatever blast she throws? Knock it back!"
"But what about—" Sakuzy's panel opened up as he fell, seeing another crocodile. He yelled before swinging the Kingdom Key at it, knocking it into the air.
Yzma, who was just beginning to regain consciousness, saw the large reptile appear. She yelled and began running from it.
"Yeah, like that!" Joyex grinned, swinging his whip around.
"You got it!" Becca said.
"Huh." Yozora stared at the surprise before grinning slyly, "Good to know."
Yozora pole-vaulted himself across platforms with his fishing rod. With a yell, he threw his katana, spinning, towards Yzma as she screeched and fled.
The blade buried itself in the stone directly in Yzma's path, cutting off her retreat.
A cannon fired at Lucy.
"Uh-uh, not this time!" Lucy said as she held up her sword and swung at the cannonball.
Immediately a loud TING! rang out. The cannonball bounced away from Lucy the moment it came into contact with her sword. The blast sent Yzma flying.
Sakuzy immediately saw a tile shift. He jumped onto it as it flew upward, riding it upward. He then jumped off and slammed his Keyblade into her, sending her careening back to Yozora.
And this time, Yozora, in a flash of bright blue light, disappeared…and reappeared right above her.
"HA! YES, finally!" he cheered, before he span and delivered a drop kick straight into the aspiring Empress.
Yzma screamed as she was hurled right through the wall.
SMASH!
She went straight through the solid rock, leaving a perfect Yzma-shaped hole in it.
"Wow, she sure leaves an impression." Joyex snickered.
"Anyone else realize that this world's kinda…" Sakuzy said, searching for the right word.
"Screwy?" Lucy replied as tiny bits of rubble fell to the floor.
"Yep…" Becca nodded.
" I've only got two worlds as a reference point, so I'm just rolling with it!" Yozora laughed, shaking his head.
"Yeah…" Sakuzy panted. He then remembered something and looked around. In the chaos, the two robed enemies had vanished, "Wait…where are those weird guys?"
"Oh yeah…forgot about them for a second." Joyex said.
Becca looked around…but with a series of clicks and whirs, the crystal-like beasts appeared. And they were joined by a small flock of bright green crystals that looked like avian spaceships.
"You pushed the mouth button." Yozora groaned with exasperation.
"And now, we've got THESE things." Sakuzy said.
"Great. Crystalli." Joyex growled. Sakuzy gave his friend an odd look, "I mean…what would YOU call them?"
The Beasts leapt toward the group as the Hawks flew at them.
"Candy Crush?" Yozora offered jokingly, in response to Joyex's question, before he swiftly went to slash at a Hawk as it swooped down.
"I call them 'good target practice'!" Lucy said as she prepared her sword and smashed through a Beast. Their fight wasn't over just yet…
POHPOHPOHPOHPOHPOH
Hitchhiker Entries:
Chicha
Pacha's wife. While this world is generally wacky and insane, she's a voice of reason and rationality. Also, has a bun in the oven. First appeared in The Emperor's New Groove (2000).
Crystalli Beasts
Amber's drones. Agile and ferocious, they tend to hunt in packs. She uses them as scouts…and treats them like they're her pets.
Crystalli Hawks
Emerald's drones. Aerial attackers who tend to attack from the skies, aided by Emerald's wind affinity.