A/N – More shenanigans folks, this time featuring our third favourite pervert.
This chapter's short but sweet.
It was a busy Tuesday at the Hokage's Office (to be fair, most days at the office were busy).
The Hanami festival was in two weeks and everyone was working their asses off to get the scrolls where they needed to go so preparations could be made on time.
Hinata was in the middle of apprising Kakashi of the quotes received for the seating arrangements when the door to the office slammed open.
"Good morning Kakashi-kun, Hinata-chan." Kushina stalked in, grabbed Hinata and starting dragging her away.
"H-Hello?" Hinata quickly glanced at Kakashi in concern, trying to dig her heels in. It did not work. Kushina was quite strong. "Kushina-sama – "
"Nee-chan, where are you taking my girlfriend?" Kakashi asked, doing quite well at sounding falsely casual. He folded his arms in annoyance as Minato entered and gave a cheerful wave to everyone in the room.
"Mikoto and Izumi-chan invited us to the bathhouse and we are going." Kushina declared, her voice getting fainter as she left, taking Hinata with her. "Minato-kun can be your assistant today. He's very good at it, 'ttebane!"
"Kushina-sama! I cannot simply leave – "
Kakashi and Minato were silent for a moment as Hinata and Kushina's voices faded away.
"Hm."
Minato was unconcerned with Kakashi's, now quite visible, upset. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit. It had been so long since Kakashi was the Annoyee instead of the Annoyer.
It brought back old memories.
Minato stood in front of the Kakashi's desk, at attention with his hands behind his back, the picture of innocent helpfulness. "I know I'm not as pretty as Hinata-chan, but I do have experience with paperwork, Hokage-sama." He stated with a beaming smile.
Kakashi glared at him and sighed, setting his head on his fist as he roughly pulled a scroll towards himself. "Just get to work, Sensei."
Minato grabbed a scroll on a request from the Dango Shop to man a stall during the festival and seated himself on Hinata's desk, while Kakashi reviewed the scrolls that Orochimaru had returned (and the ones that he hadn't, but Sasuke had nicked before he returned to Konoha).
They had been working for an hour or so when Kotetsu came to grab scrolls for delivery.
"These all of them?"
"There are a few more." Minato sighed, stretching and groaning as his back cracked in a truly concerning way. "Two more rounds, I think."
"Great." Kotetsu sighed and left the room. He poked his head back in after a couple of seconds.
"Oh, Jiraiya-sama got back this morning. He said he'll stay a while before he leaves again."
Minato looked up in interest from his stretching, idly picking at the corner of a scroll (Chōza's cousin's daughter was due to give birth in a week, and the clan was hoarding sake for the upcoming celebration in advance, which meant there could be a shortage for the festival unless more was purchased). "Oh, is he? He didn't say."
"Jiraiya-sama's work is very important and his dedication to his craft is admirable." Kakashi defended casually, idly twirling a brush between his fingers.
"Hmm." Minato side-eyed the book on Kakashi's desk, off to the side but within arm's reach. "If you say so, Kakashi."
Kotetsu left, and they were just about to go back to work when realisation hit them with a record scratch.
"Jiraiya's in town!"
A yellow flash and a swirl of leaves were seen leaving the office, just as Itachi entered with more scrolls to sign.
He saw the empty office, and sighed deeply, rolling his eyes. He dropped all the scrolls on Hinata's desk and made his way out.
'I should ask for a raise.'
_
The Gallant Jiraiya, Toad Sannin had parked himself outside Konoha's public bathhouse, with his trusty binoculars and a notebook to get inspiration for his next book.
"Ohohohoho."
'Quite the inspiration'
He wrote furiously, not noticing the shadows growing behind him. If he had known this is what was waiting for him here, he would've been back sooner.
He nearly jumped out of his skin (but managed to suppress the instinct) when weights fell on his shoulders.
"What the – "
"Ero-sensei," Minato smiled at him, tightening the hand on his shoulder.
It was not a smile Jiraiya had good experiences with.
"I am very upset with you. You don't write, you don't visit. I had to find out from Kotetsu that you were even in Konoha." As Minato spoke, Jiraiya surreptitiously tried to claw his hand off of his shoulder, to no avail.
"I, for one, am glad to see you again, Jiraiya-sama." Jiraiya turned to his left and saw Kakashi leaning against him, eye-smile on display and his well-read copy of Icha Icha Tactics in his other hand. "I see you're doing research again. How's it going?"
This was a trap. Jiraiya felt a trap. He smelled a trap. Minato was standing there silently (menacingly) and Jiraiya was well aware of his thoughts on his research. But Kakashi wouldn't do anything, right? The kid religiously read his books and was most definitely benefiting from Jiraiya's research (At least that's what he heard from Naruto. The kid usually had pretty solid gos – ahem, information).
Jiraiya made a fatal mistake.
He let his guard down.
A perverted smile took over his face. "It's going great. Lot's of inspiration here. I should come back more often, really."
Jiraiya chuckled as he looked back at Kakashi...
... To see a woman there. Platinum hair in a braid, face covered by a mask and forehead protector, long-sleeved shirt (on a pretty hot body) and a mini skirt followed by long legs and ninja sandals.
"..."
"..."
'Oh shit!'
Jiraiya turned to Minato, only to see a Rasengan formed in his hand.
"... Minato," Jiraiya begged, feeling the acute danger his life was in. "Please..."
Minato said nothing. Only smiled.
'Fuck!'
"Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi said, sounding truly regretful. The fucking audacity! "This hurts me more than it will hurt you."
As he (she?) said it, Minato released the rasengan on the wall of the bathhouse. Through the dust and debris, Kakashi's (now higher-pitched) voice was heard screaming.
"AAHHH!!! A PERVERT BROKE THE WALL OF THE BATHHOUSE!!!"
There was a beat of silence that froze his blood in his veins.
"Jirrraaaaiiiiyyyaaaaa!"
"Oh fuck!" Jiraiya quickly grabbed his notebook (tripped over his binoculars) and ran like a bat out of hell, a cloud of dust the only thing left behind.
_
Minato and Kakashi looked at Jiraiya fleeing, pursued by both Konoha's kunoichi and civilians, all led by a furious Tsunade. All in a day's work. They fist-bumped in honour of a job well done.
"What is going on here?"
Both men froze, and slowly turned their heads, their necks creaking as they did so.
It was Kushina and Hinata.
'Shit!'
Kakashi, realising that he was still in his henge and that it would raise some questions, released it and sheepishly scratched his head.
Kushina and Hinata did not look any less confused.
Minato decided being casual was the best option. He was not looking forward to explaining this any more than Kakashi was. "Hi Kushi-chan, Hinata-chan. How was your time with Mikoto-san and Izumi-chan?" He smiled brightly to reinforce that nothing was out of the ordinary, everything was absolutely as it should be.
It didn't seem to work.
"It was... good..." Kushina began, trailed to a stop, then decided that questions needed to be asked immediately, actually. "What were you two doing? Kakashi-kun was a girl, you're both supposed to be in the office. Why are you outside the public bat – what happened to the wall!?"
Both Minato and Kakashi could answer that one.
"Jiraiya."
Kakashi snuck a look at Hinata, to assess the damage this little mission had done. To his relief, she only looked curious and mildly confused, and not like she was rethinking their relationship (of course, he had a plan in case that happened, but he'd rather it didn't). He quickly sidled up to her.
Time for a good excuse.
"You see," Kakashi started, and ignored his sensei's subtle gestures for him to shut up. 'Honestly, where's the trust?' "We were working, as one does, in the Hokage's Office, when Sensei started getting a little bored. It's difficult you know, going back to doing paperwork after you've stepped down. So, being the caring student I am, I suggested we take a walk for some fresh air. And as we were walking around, we came across Jiraiya being chased by the ladies of Konoha."
He ended his explanation with a charming eye-smile and waited. Minato did his level best to look like that was absolutely the case and he agreed with all of it.
"I see." Kushina said, nodding slowly and with an amused look on her face. "That's all, huh?"
"That's all." Minato agreed.
"Well, I have no choice but to take your word for it, Minato-kun." Kushina said, winking at Hinata, who giggled behind her pretty hand. They were onto them. Damnit. "Hinata-chan, it looks like I overestimated Minato-kun's skills as an assistant."
"I understand, Kushina-sama." Hinata said, linking her arm through Kakashi's, whose widening smile was visible even behind his mask. "And I believe it is time for us to get back to work."
Goodbyes were said, and both couples went their separate ways. Kakashi and Hinata were nearing the Academy when Kakashi realised something.
"Hinata-chan."
"Yes, Kakashi-sama?"
Kakashi gave her a look. Hinata blushed at his silent reprimand. "Kakashi-kun?"
"Better." Kakashi said, then continued with his question. "Where were you and Nee-chan coming from?"
Hinata smiled and kissed Kakashi's cheek. Kakashi almost missed what she said next because of the floaty feeling he got every time she did it. "The Uchiha District, Kakashi-kun. Mikoto-san invited us to the Uchiha Clan bathhouse."
Well.
Now Kakashi felt stupid. Of course, the Matriarch of the Uchiha Clan would not invite her guests to the public bathhouse.
As that realisation crossed his face, Hinata laughed and pulled him up the stairs with her.
His next literary purchase was definitely not getting signed with a personal dedication by the author.
But as he felt Hinata's laugh vibrate through his chest, he thought to himself, 'Worth it, though'.
A/N – Next up is another lore chapter (very fun and very important lore, as opposed to just important).