Johnny pulled into Roy's driveway and parked before climbing down and making his way to the door. He knocked a couple times, and the door soon swung open, revealing Joanne.

"Johnny, come on in." Joanne greeted him warmly, catching him in a quick hug as soon as he stepped inside. She glanced behind him before pulling back with a puzzled expression. "I thought you were bringing someone. Lisa or Leila or—"

"Didn't work out." Johnny shook his head.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Joanne replied. "Come on outside. Grab yourself something to drink on your way through."

Johnny grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator and cracked it open before following Joanne outside. The kids immediately spotted him, and Jenny all but threw herself at him. "Uncle Johnny!"

"Hey, kiddo." Johnny set down the can and returned the hug, nodding as Chris nodded in response.

"Where's your friend?" Jenny asked. "Mom and Dad said you were bringing a friend."

"Oh, uh…well, she couldn't come." Johnny quickly explained. "Maybe some other time."

"Oh." Jenny looked briefly disappointed before running off again.

Roy turned from the grill. "Struck out again, huh?"

"Yeah." Johnny answered, though if he was being honest with himself, he wasn't that torn up about it. He'd liked Lisa well enough, but there just wasn't much of a spark there.

"I'm sure it won't be long before you meet some other girl." Roy told him.

"Oh, probably." Johnny replied casually.

Roy merely shook his head as he turned his attention back to the grill. "You know, I remember when we worked together, how whipped up you'd get over every girl you met. You sure seem to have calmed down about it."

"It's called maturity, Roy." Johnny responded.

Roy let out a short laugh at that. "That's a word no one would ever associate with you. Not when it comes to women."

That stung a little, even if there was a bit of truth to it. "Well, there's no point in getting all upset over this stuff. I've got other things to do with my time."

"Is that right?" Roy's tone was mild.

"That's right." Johnny answered, aware he was sounding a little defensive. If he wasn't careful, he'd slip up and say something stupid. The last thing he wanted to do was reveal whatever else he'd been up to. He already barely got to see Roy as it was. He could only imagine what would happen if he revealed anything about the other part of his life. Roy would never understand.

"I'll take your word for it." Roy replied as he took the burgers and hot dogs off the grill and put them on a plate. Soon enough everything else was ready, and they were all dished up and sitting around the table out on the patio.

It was always good to catch up with Roy and his family. Johnny had to admit he missed seeing them regularly. Now that they were on different shifts, it made it even harder to get together.

Maybe it was better that way. Every time they all got together, it just reminded Johnny of how close he and Roy used to be. Roy seemed to have adjusted to that change a hell of a lot better than Johnny had, but then again, Roy wasn't the one with lingering feelings that he didn't know what to do with.

No wonder Johnny had found Kevin so damn appealing. Johnny wasn't an idiot. The two men shared a lot of qualities. But he didn't want to think about those similarities too much, either.

"So, how is life at Fifty-One?" Roy asked him.

"Oh, same old, same old." Johnny answered. "Mike's up for a captain's spot, so we'll probably be getting a new engineer before long."

"He'd be a good one." Roy responded. "So would you."

"Oh no, we're not having that conversation again." Johnny shook his head.

Roy merely gave him that steady look, the look that always said so much without saying a word. "I mean it, Roy." Johnny told him. "I'm not captain material."

"It's just something to think about." Roy replied.

"I'm done thinking about it." Johnny answered sharply. "It's not for me."

"It is a lot of responsibility." Roy commented in his usual offhanded way.

Johnny paused for a moment, unsure how to take Roy's words. His first instinct was to snap back, get defensive. He was more than capable of taking on that responsibility. He just didn't want it. How could he explain that to Roy?

He took a deep breath and exhaled before answering. "Yeah, I'm aware. Maybe more than I'm willing to take on."

Roy frowned slightly before nodding. "Well, if there ever comes a time when you change your mind, you'd be more than capable. I know that. Hell, I'd even put in a good word for you."

"Why don't you save that for Mike?" Johnny tried to sound casual, even as he chafed at Roy's condescending tone.

Roy's mouth twitched in a slight smile. "Okay, I can take a hint."

Johnny questioned that, but let it slide as they moved on to other topics, and the afternoon passed pleasantly enough into the evening, leaving Johnny and Roy alone on the patio as darkness started to fall.

He missed these quieter times, whether here, or at the station, or on any number of their fishing and camping trips over the years. Johnny had known that once Roy took the captain's post that things would change, but he had underestimated just how much.

And he had seriously underestimated how Roy's absence in his life would hurt.

Finally, by mutual agreement, Johnny and Roy decided to call it a night, and they continued talking all the way to the door. Between the kids and Joanne, there was a flurry of 'good nights' and 'see you again soons' before it was just Johnny and Roy at the door.

"We need to do this more often." Roy told him, his hands in his jeans pockets. "The kids miss you."

"Yeah, suppose we've done a pretty bad job at keeping in touch." Johnny answered, his heart thumping so hard that he was sure Roy could hear it from where he stood.

He wanted to pull Roy in close, to hug him like he really meant it, to tell him just how much he missed seeing him. Instead, he simply grasped Roy's shoulder and extended his hand.

Roy did the same with a slight smile and a nod, and Johnny released his hand, turning to leave the house and climb into his vehicle. He sat there for a moment after he started it up, noticing that Roy still stood in the doorway, probably waiting for Johnny to leave so that he could close up the house and turn off the porch light.

All these little rituals had become so familiar, so much part and parcel of their working life and their friendship outside the station. Did Roy have any idea that Johnny's feelings ran deeper than that? Probably not. Just as well, Johnny figured.

He put the Rover in gear and pulled out of the driveway and headed toward home. It was still early enough that he could go out somewhere if he wanted. Now that he was once again alone, he was free to seek out other companionship.

Maybe he should give Kevin a call. He had tried a couple of times since that night he'd spent with him, but nothing had really come together, and Johnny had been more or less content to let things slide. After all, he hadn't intended on getting attached to the guy.

Still, there was something that made Johnny want to give it another shot. If nothing else, it would be a good distraction from his feelings about Roy that refused to abate. And if for some reason he couldn't get hold of Kevin, Johnny knew where to go to get what he wanted.

As soon as he got home and let himself inside, he dialed Kevin's number. It was committed to memory now, even though the slip of paper was still right next to the phone. Why Johnny hadn't bothered to toss it, he had no idea.

"Hello?" Johnny was startled when Kevin answered.

"Oh, uh, hey." Johnny managed to collect himself enough to reply. "Uh, been a while."

There was a long pause at the other end before Kevin let out a short laugh. "Yes, I know. Figured you gave up on me."

"I…" Johnny had no idea how to respond to that. "Well, I've just, you know, been busy. That's all."

"Johnny." Kevin's voice took on a more patient tone. "If you've met someone else, it's fine. You don't owe me anything."

"I haven't." Johnny quickly responded. "Well, I mean, I was dating this girl, but…anyway, no. And you know, you didn't exactly try to keep in touch with me, either."

Johnny could hear Kevin let out a huff at the other end of the line. "Fine, we can call it a draw. It's nice to hear from you, regardless."

Johnny had been primed for an argument, and didn't quite know what to do with himself now that one wasn't forthcoming. That coupled with all the other thoughts that were crashing together in his head, left him speechless for a moment until he was able to gather himself again. "Well, uh, I was gonna go out tonight. You know, while I've got the night free."

"Hmm." Kevin seemed to ponder that. "As it happens, I didn't have much in the way of plans either. So, either you can come to me, or I can come to you. Your choice."

Going to him would be easy and would get him away from any potentially prying eyes. On the other hand, why should he be the only one making that drive?

No, he was being ridiculous. Johnny was as much to blame for them falling out of touch as Kevin was, and maybe he was due for a change of scenery anyway.

"I'll come to you." Johnny finally answered. "Maybe check out what's going on there."

"Oh, probably not as much as Los Angeles, but I imagine we can find a little trouble to get into." Kevin replied with a laugh.

"I like the sound of that." Johnny responded, feeling the tension ease just a little. "See you in a while."

Maybe this evening would turn out all right after all.

# # #

Kevin hung up the phone, his mood suddenly lightening, and not just because Johnny had called out of the blue. They'd been in touch over the last couple of months but had somehow been unable to find time to get together, and so Kevin had simply let it pass.

Of course, once Johnny had mentioned dating a girl, things had clicked. Kevin couldn't fault the guy for trying to make it work with women. It would make his life a hell of a lot easier. Sooner or later, Johnny would figure out that he wasn't really all that into women, Kevin was still fairly certain of that.

Or maybe he was engaging in some wishful thinking. After all, there was no guarantee that Johnny would suddenly be more interested in him. It was rather telling, however, that Johnny apparently hadn't lost Kevin's number.

No matter. Johnny was on his way now, and at the very least, Kevin would get an enjoyable evening out of it. Sure, he could have told Johnny to shove off, but he didn't have it in him. He'd carried on with his life as he usually did, but Johnny was always in the back of his mind, and he supposed he'd never really given up on the other man.

He finished getting ready just as he heard the knock on his door, and he crossed the room to answer. There was Johnny, in nearly the identical shirt and jacket he'd worn in San Francisco. Kevin doubted that it had been a deliberate choice on Johnny's part, but he appreciated the reminder anyway.

"Hi." Kevin greeted him casually. "Come on in."

Johnny stepped inside and closed the door behind him, eyeing Kevin up and down. "So, what do you have in mind?"

"Oh, I know a few places." Kevin replied. "There's a pretty decent scene. Bit of a drive, though. Hope you don't mind."

Johnny shrugged, his hands in his pockets. "I don't mind."

Soon they were out the door and on their way. This was familiar territory to Kevin by now, and the scene was small enough that everyone knew everyone. He had to admit he was a little curious how Johnny would fit in, and what kind of attention he might attract.

It was possible that Johnny would find his own company, and Kevin didn't know how he felt about that. He didn't want to put any kind of restriction on Johnny. It wasn't as if he had the power to do that. They weren't together, really, and weren't likely to be.

No, it would be better to accept that Johnny might well continue to breeze in and out of Kevin's life as he saw fit. He didn't have a problem with that, really. At least he knew he was likely in for a good time when Johnny did show up. It was obvious Johnny wasn't interested in anything serious, and at this point, Kevin supposed he wasn't either.

At least, not at this moment.

He found a place to park and noticed Johnny looking around curiously. "Interesting place."

"It's not pretty, that's for damn sure." Kevin replied as they climbed out of the car. "But no one's here for the scenery."

"Suppose you're right." Johnny acknowledged.

They headed toward the nearest bar, a boisterous place that was popular with the Navy guys here on leave. Kevin had known more than a few on previous occasions, and he'd found them to be a rough and rowdy bunch, always in a hurry to get what they wanted before they had to leave again.

Tonight was no different, and as soon as they entered, they had to push their way through the crowd. Kevin felt Johnny draw in close behind him, his hand at Kevin's waist.

"Don't feel like you have to stick too close to me tonight." Kevin turned slightly toward Johnny.

Johnny seemed puzzled at that. "Kinda figured we were in this together."

"We don't have to be." Kevin responded. "Maybe someone'll catch your interest."

Johnny leaned in closer. "Or maybe someone already has."

Logically, Kevin knew Johnny was probably just flirting, but his words still made Kevin heat up. "Why don't we grab a couple of drinks and see how the night goes, hmm?"

They continued on through the bar, Johnny's hand never leaving Kevin's waist, and they finally found a spot where Kevin could flag down a bartender.

"Kev?" A voice rose above the din.

Kevin looked over, recognizing the owner of the voice. "Kirk? The hell are you doing here?"

Kirk made his way over and wrapped Kevin in a tight hug before grabbing his rear. "Same thing you are. Trying to get a little action. Where the hell have you been?"

"Oh, doing this, doing that." Kevin answered casually.

"Mm-hmm." Kirk looked amused as he pulled back, spotting Johnny and eyeing him appreciatively. "And is this who you're doing?"

Kevin let out a quiet huff as he placed a hand on Johnny's shoulder. "This is Johnny. He's visiting from L.A. Johnny, this is an old friend of mine, Kirk."

Johnny nodded and extended a hand, flashing a hint of that smile. "Good to meet you."

"Likewise." Kirk was still sizing Johnny up as he grasped Johnny's hand, holding on a little longer than Kevin liked before letting go. "Nice to see a new face around here. Wouldn't mind getting to know you a little, if you don't mind."

In theory, Kevin was perfectly happy to leave Johnny to enjoy himself as he saw fit. In reality, he was having a little trouble with the idea, and not just because he knew how goddamn charming Kirk could be.

He felt a hand land on his shoulder, squeezing firmly. "I'm sure it's cool if you hang out with us. Right, Kevin?"

Kevin placed a hand over Johnny's, relaxing a little. "Yes, it's cool. Pull up a stool, Kirk. I'll buy you a drink."

"Don't mind if I do." Kirk answered cheerfully, immediately depositing himself on a stool and flagging down the bartender. He leaned to look past Kevin. "So, Johnny, how'd you meet this guy?"

Johnny shifted and leaned on the bar. "There was this paramedic convention up in San Francisco. Ended up sitting next to Kevin at one of the seminars, got to talking a little, and that was that."

"That wasn't quite it." Kevin laughed a little before turning his attention to Kirk. "I ran into this guy at a bar later on. Kind of had a feeling about him, but well, you know how that goes."

"Boy, do I." Kirk turned to look over his shoulder as a few men passed by. "Man, place is crawling with sailors tonight. Must be that time of year."

"Don't let us stop you." Kevin told him. "Strike while the iron's hot."

Kirk responded to that with a devilish grin as he accepted his drink and lifted it. "One of these days I'm gonna get one of those sailors to jump ship and go AWOL."

"You've been saying that since I've known you." Kevin shot back.

"A man's got to keep his hopes alive." Kirk told him, once again looking past Kevin. "So, paramedic, huh?"

"Firefighter, too." Johnny explained. "Mostly rescue work. That's where I started out before I got roped into paramedic training. What about you?"

"Oh, me? San Diego PD." Kirk took a long drink. "Straight out of high school, just like my dad. Been thinking about doing something else, though. Don't know what yet."

"Could always apply for the fire academy." Kevin suggested. "They're always looking for a few good men."

"So am I, sweetheart." Kirk laughed, glancing toward Johnny again. "Present company excepted, of course."

"You are shameless." Kevin shook his head.

Johnny, for his part, merely seemed amused and made no real effort to flirt back with Kirk. Kevin found himself feeling oddly relieved for some reason he couldn't readily define.

Someone else came up to the bar, and Kirk immediately turned his attention his way, leaving Kevin and Johnny as they were. "Your, uh, friend's kind of a character. Where'd you meet him?" Johnny asked casually.

"Met him not long after my divorce was final." Kevin explained. "I was feeling a little sorry for myself, and he sat down next to me and started talking to me. Next thing I know he's got me in the bathroom stall with my pants around my ankles."

Johnny's eyebrows shot straight up, and Kevin realized he was perhaps telling Johnny more than he needed to know. He took a quick drink of his beer before continuing. "Anyway, we've been friends and occasionally a little more ever since."

"I get it." Johnny replied, scanning the bar before returning his attention to Kevin. "Got a few friends like that myself. We all kinda come and go out of each other's lives, you know?"

"Yes, indeed." Kevin nodded. That explained a good deal about Johnny, once Kevin thought about it. "I've managed to keep most of those friends around me. Always good to have friends you can count on."

"Yeah." Johnny frowned slightly at that, but the frown was gone before Kevin could fully register it. "I mean, it's not like I don't have other friends, but none of them know that I'm, well, the way I am."

"Right." Kevin nodded. He couldn't help but wonder if that included the man that was with Johnny at the convention, he kept forgetting the man's name. Never mind, it wasn't that important.

Suddenly Kevin felt a rough kiss land on his cheek. "Kev, wonderful to see you. Thanks for the drink. I owe you."

"You don't owe me a thing." Kevin assured him as he kissed him on the cheek in response. "I assume you found another friend."

Kirk merely smirked at that, but didn't say anything. He squeezed Kevin's shoulder before turning his attention to Johnny as he passed by. "Johnny, lovely to meet you. If you get bored with this guy, come find me."

"Great to meet you, too, Kirk." Johnny didn't appear entirely sure how to take Kirk's words. As soon as he was gone, Johnny shook his head. "Interesting guy."

"Well, he sure seemed to like you." Kevin told him. "But I mean, who wouldn't?"

Johnny shrugged as he finished off his beer. "Plenty of people."

"Yes, that girl you were seeing." Kevin responded mildly. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"It's okay." Johnny replied. "Not sure I was all that into her anyway. Nice girl, but…well, anyway. Doesn't matter, I guess."

Kevin finished off his own beer. "You want another, or do you want to see what else is going on tonight?"

"Whatever you want." Johnny told him.

"There is another bar that's a little quieter." Kevin offered. "It's a little more conducive to conversation."

Johnny smiled slightly at that. "Kinda like that idea."

Kevin flagged down the bartender and paid for their drinks, and they were soon pushing their way out of the bar and into the night. It was lively, though nowhere near as exciting as San Francisco, but Kevin didn't mind.

Johnny didn't seem to mind, either, keeping pace with Kevin until they arrived at another bar. Kevin preferred this one. It was more intimate, quieter, a welcome respite from the hot and loud discos and pick up bars.

And maybe after a couple more drinks and some conversation, Johnny would want to stick around for the remainder of the night.

They got a couple beers at the bar and found a table. Johnny glanced around as he took a drink. "Pretty nice place."

"It's definitely a classier kind of joint." Kevin replied. "No hordes of drunken sailors grabbing your ass. Unless you like that sort of thing, in which case I suppose we could go back."

"That's okay." Johnny shook his head. "I mean, I did come to see you, right?"

"True." Kevin took a drink of his own beer. "I must say, I was a little surprised to hear from you."

Johnny played with his bottle, looking thoughtful. "I meant to call. Then I kinda got busy and met this girl and…well, I guess I was just trying to make something happen."

Kevin took a deep breath and exhaled. "Johnny, I don't mean to pry. Are you sure you're into women?"

Johnny looked a little puzzled at that. "Yeah, I'm sure. Why?"

"Just wondering." Kevin decided to let the matter drop. Johnny might well come to that conclusion in his own time, and there was no point in pushing it.

"I did like her." Johnny told him. "I just…hell, I don't know. I kept kinda waiting to, you know, feel something, and I just didn't. It was weird. Been like that with the last few girls I've gone out with."

"Well, fortunately, you do have options." Kevin replied. "Or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it."

Johnny let out a sigh before taking another drink. "Sure. Just wish that option was easier, you know?"

"Believe me, I know." Kevin reached for Johnny's hand. "Look, I'm not trying to tie you down. We can keep this casual, okay?"

Johnny's fingers curled around Kevin's hand. "Sure, yeah. Casual."

They spent the remainder of the evening drinking and talking, watching and commenting on the activity going on outside the bar. Kevin talked a little bit about his marriage, how he had gotten married after she had graduated from college and he had established himself at the fire department, and the realization that they had both come to about how poorly matched they were.

"No hard feelings?" Johnny asked. "Wow."

"Well, it wasn't personal." Kevin explained. "I think we both genuinely believed that we could make it work, just because we got along so well. Turns out a marriage needs more than that."

"Too much, if you ask me." Johnny shook his head. "See, Roy and Joanne, they've been married…well, a long time now. Seems to work for them, but man, I just don't think I could do it."

Kevin laughed quietly. "Maybe it's not marriage you're looking for."

"Aw, come on." Johnny scoffed. "You know as well as I do guys aren't looking to settle down, either. Even the ones that are paired off always seem to have another thing going."

"Well now, that doesn't mean they're not settled down." Kevin pointed out. "Maybe it just looks a little different, that's all."

Johnny looked a little surprised at that, frowning as he seemed to consider the notion. "Yeah, I guess. But why settle down with someone if you're not gonna be faithful? Maybe that's the part I don't get."

Kevin shrugged. "I know people who work it out. They just make their own agreement. It seems to work for them, too, just like your friend's marriage does for him."

Johnny's mouth quirked in that familiar half-smile. "There are times when I wish his marriage didn't work so well for him."

And there it was, just as Kevin had suspected. "You know those things never end well, right?"

"Oh, I'm not gonna try and break up their marriage." Johnny's eyes went wide as he shook his head. "I like his wife too much for that. I don't think he's into me anyway. It's okay. I'll get over it."

"Well, not to be too forward, but…I hope you find me an acceptable alternative."

Johnny brushed his thumb over the back of Kevin's hand. "I'm kinda starting to like you. I mean, as a person, not just someone to screw around with."

Kevin paused for a moment before nodding. "You know what? I think I'm starting to like you, too."

Johnny smiled widely at that. "You don't mind if I, uh, try to see you a little more often, do you?"

"Not a bit." Something warmed in Kevin at the thought. Not that he was going to push Johnny for more than he was willing to give, but hell, there seemed to be something more here. Might as well see where it went.

Johnny pulled back, finished off the last of his beer and glanced at his watch. "Getting kinda late."

Kevin saw his opportunity. "Did you want to try and make it home tonight?"

"I don't have to." Johnny answered, that teasing spark in his eye. "You want me to stick around?"

"Oh yes." Kevin didn't see any reason to beat around the bush. "I'll make it worth your while."

"I'll bet you will." Johnny responded, appearing greatly amused. "Ready when you are."

Kevin was more than ready. And now that it appeared this thing between them might be more than physical, he could hardly wait to see where things led.