Kevin found Johnny's apartment house, pulling in next to his vehicle and heading up to Johnny's apartment. It had once again taken them a few weeks to arrange this, and though Kevin had found other companionship on occasion during that time, he found himself missing Johnny badly.

He knocked on the door, and he heard the lock click before the door opened, revealing Johnny, who greeted him with that usual half-smile. "Hey, come on in."

Kevin did so, closing the door behind him and taking in the space. It was somewhat cluttered but clean, a typical bachelor's apartment. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting.

"Sorry, gonna take me a minute to finish getting ready," Johnny called out as he went into the bathroom, "Got caught up helping Roy out today."

"It's no problem," Kevin answered casually as he wandered around the living room. There was plenty of evidence of Johnny's interests around, though he had to admit he was surprised to find no TV, only a large stereo set up and a bookcase that stretched nearly to the ceiling. The books Kevin found there covered a wide range of subjects, both fiction and non-fiction.

"Ready when you are," Johnny's voice caused Kevin to jump and turn around.

"Oh, don't mind me," Kevin tried to cover his sudden case of nerves, "Just checking out your bookshelf."

"Yeah, I'm into all kinds of stuff," Johnny answered as he rolled up the sleeves on his shirt.

"I'm aware," the words fell out before Kevin could stop them, "I mean—"

Johnny laughed quietly as he approached Kevin and pulled him in. "I know what you meant."

Kevin quickly kissed him, and it wasn't long before the kiss deepened, and Kevin lost himself in the feeling that coursed through him. God, what this man was doing to him.

Johnny broke it off before things progressed much further, and Kevin let out a short sigh, laying his hand on Johnny's chest. "Keep that up and we won't get out of here tonight."

Kevin caught the alarmed expression on Johnny's face before it quickly changed to that little half-smile. "Hey, yeah, we'd better get going then."

Kevin was a little baffled by the sudden shift in Johnny's demeanor but decided to brush it aside. He was probably just imagining things.

Soon they were in Johnny's vehicle and on the road, with Johnny keeping up a steady stream of chatter the whole way. He seemed oddly keyed up, even for him, and Kevin couldn't help wondering what was going on. Surely Los Angeles was large enough that the chances of Johnny running into someone he knew were low, if that was indeed what was bothering him.

Johnny pulled into a parking lot and shut off the engine, and they both climbed down and started toward what appeared to be a very lively bar scene. It wasn't all that much different from San Diego, and a slightly different atmosphere from San Francisco. They'd fit in just fine.

That is, if Johnny quit being so damn jumpy.

"Right here's the first bar I found way back when," Johnny told him as they entered, "Wasn't much of a scene back then, and I was pretty damn clueless, so I had no idea what I was walking into. Hell, I was barely old enough to buy a drink."

Kevin tried to imagine a young Johnny in one of these places and failed. It was crowded and noisy, not the kind of place he knew Johnny liked. "We don't have to stay if you don't want to."

Johnny squeezed his shoulder. "We'll grab our drinks and go to the lounge. Lot quieter there."

That made more sense. "Sounds good."

They managed to make their way to the bar, and Johnny flagged down the bartender. He made his way down with a warm smile. "Evening. What'll you have?"

They both placed their drink orders, and the bartender turned around to make them. Other patrons were crowding the bar, and Kevin was already tired of getting jostled. From the look on Johnny's face, he was, too.

Soon the bartender returned with their drinks. "Would you like to start a tab?"

"Sure," Johnny nodded, "Gage."

"You've got it," the bartender replied with that same warm smile, eyeing Johnny up and down.

If Johnny noticed, he didn't acknowledge it, picking up his glass and making his way through the room while Kevin followed close behind. They soon entered another room, this one much quieter, the light even dimmer than in the main bar.

"That's better," Johnny sighed as they found a couch, "Man, it's gotten nuts in here. Used to be a lot quieter. And this lounge wasn't here, either. That's kind of a new thing."

"I like it," Kevin told him, "Much more conducive to conversation."

"Yeah, exactly," Johnny agreed with a slight smile. He took a drink before setting his glass down, his hand running up Kevin's thigh. "Sure glad you're here."

"Is that right?" Kevin set his own glass down, shifting slightly so he was facing Johnny.

"Mm-hmm," Johnny nodded, "Been a while since I've seen you."

Kevin felt a twinge of guilt but quickly dismissed it. "I know. Just too much going on, I suppose."

Johnny pulled back briefly, taking a long drink before turning his attention back to Kevin. "Figured you were keeping yourself busy."

"Oh, well, not like that," Kevin tried to explain, "Not entirely. You know how it goes."

Johnny's expression turned pensive for a moment before he nodded. "Sure. I mean, that's the deal we made, right? We're not exclusive. Be kinda dumb to expect you to not, well, you know."

Kevin shifted slightly. "Do you want to change that?"

There was that alarmed look again, there and gone so quickly Kevin nearly missed it. Johnny shook his head. "Nah, we don't have to. Not sure I could keep up my end of the bargain anyway."

Something was clearly on Johnny's mind, but Kevin knew better than to push Johnny. That was a sure-fire way to make sure he clammed up and never said a word. Instead, he reached out and caressed Johnny's thigh. "I know it's been a challenge getting our days off to match up lately. So yes, I have occasionally found other company. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten about you. Not at all."

"That's good," Johnny answered quietly, though there was an edge to his voice as he reached once again for his drink. "I've mostly been working a lot of overtime and helping Roy out with some home repairs."

That caused another twinge of guilt. Had Johnny been avoiding him for some reason? "You know, you don't have to hide whatever you might be up to."

Johnny looked baffled. "I told you. Working and, well, not much else. A lot of guys are out on vacation this time of year. It's a good opportunity to make some extra money."

The sharp tone in Johnny's voice chastened Kevin. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything."

Johnny stretched an arm out along the back of the couch, his expression somewhat troubled. "Look, this was always gonna be tough, right? You're there, I'm here, neither one of us really wanna give up our lives. And why would we? Kinda have the best of both worlds leaving things as they are."

Kevin wasn't entirely sure he was following Johnny's train of thought. "Johnny, if this isn't what you want anymore—"

"I didn't say that," Johnny cut him off sharply, "I didn't say that. I just…well, I don't know. I don't know."

He picked up his glass and drained the remainder before setting it on the table with a hard thump. Kevin sensed an opportunity. "Why don't I get us a couple more drinks, and we can talk about this."

Johnny acknowledged that with a nod, and Kevin picked up both glasses, making his way through the lounge and main bar area, flagging down the bartender.

He greeted Kevin with that warm smile from earlier. "Can I help you?"

"Just need a couple refills," Kevin told him.

"Coming right up."

The bartender turned around to make their drinks, and Kevin let the whole conversation run through his head. It wasn't a surprise that Johnny was having some second thoughts about their relationship, such as it was. And Johnny was right, Kevin wasn't willing to give up the home he had created. It had become a hub for all his friends and lovers and others, and he was good and comfortable there. Johnny seemed to be too, but Kevin didn't blame him for not wanting to give up his own life here.

"Here you go," the bartender broke into his thoughts, "How would you like to pay?"

"Put it on the tab for Gage," Kevin told him.

"You've got it."

Kevin started to find his way back to the lounge, and he noticed that someone had joined Johnny on the couch, the two men chatting animatedly. He almost hated to interrupt.

"Hi," Kevin spoke up, holding out one of the glasses.

Johnny glanced up, greeting him with a smile and a nod. "Thanks. This is my friend Michael. Michael, Kevin. You know, the guy I've been telling you about."

Michael smiled and nodded at Kevin in response, rising and extending a hand. "Yes, I've heard an awful lot about you."

"All good things, I hope," Kevin tried to sound casual. He couldn't help noticing their resemblance. Johnny clearly had a type.

"Oh, nothing but," Michael responded with a laugh before turning his attention to Johnny, "And as for you, stay in trouble."

He kissed Johnny lightly, his finger tracing along Johnny's chin before pulling away and giving Kevin a quick wave as he left and found another small group to chat with. Kevin took a seat next to Johnny. "Friend, huh?"

"Friend, occasional lover," Johnny answered casually, though that edge in his voic was still there. "Got more than a few of those."

Kevin quickly caught on. "Johnny, it's not a competition."

"Didn't say it was."

Kevin sighed internally. Johnny seemed determined to be difficult tonight. "So, I assume there are other places you like around here."

Johnny smiled a little at that. "Sure. There's a couple places that've mostly turned into discos. Not too crazy about those. But I don't mind staying here for the most part."

"It is rather cozy," Kevin responded.

"Things do tend to, uh, heat up as the night goes on," Johnny told him, setting down his drink and moving to trace his fingers up Kevin's leg once again.

"Is that right?" Kevin murmured, setting his own drink aside.

"Mm-hmm," Johnny moved in closer, "You wouldn't believe the nights I've had here."

"Well, you know, just because it starts here doesn't mean it has to end here," Kevin responded.

"Right," Johnny replied in between laying down a line of kisses along Kevin's neck, "Wouldn't mind getting you in the back of the Rover."

Kevin couldn't help the short laugh that escaped him. "What, can't wait until you get me home?"

Johnny's hand slid to Kevin's waist, his lips finding that spot between Kevin's collarbones and lingering there for a long moment. He seemed to ignore Kevin's question, and Kevin didn't have it in him at the moment to press him on it. He was too busy enjoying whatever Johnny was doing to him.

He felt Johnny's tongue dart out, followed by his lips firmly closing around the same spot, sucking lightly, and Kevin let out a sharp gasp. "Dammit, Johnny."

"What's the matter?" Johnny asked mildly, evcn as his hand continued its journey up Kevin's body.

"You know damn well what's the matter," Kevin replied heatedly.

Johnny let out a short laugh as he made his way back up Kevin's neck and found his mouth, kissing him ferociously as he pulled Kevin in close. Kevin gave back as good as he was getting, well aware that he was very publicly making out with this man, and not much giving a damn.

"Back of the Rover's not sounding too bad now, huh?" Johnny's voice was rough, his desire obvious.

"It's either that or I jump your bones right here," Kevin managed to respond.

Johnny pulled back with a pleased expression. "Might like that."

Kevin gave him one more quick kiss. "How about you finish your drink, and we cash out?"

Johnny eyed Kevin up and down before nodding. They both finished off what was left of their drinks before making their way back through the impossibly crowded bar, waiting until the bartender came down to cash them out. Kevin shoved some cash in the tip glass, and they pushed their way out of the bar and back onto the street.

"Whew," Kevin huffed, "Wasn't sure we were going to make it out of there."

"Yeah, it's a madhouse," Johnny acknowledged, "Reminds me why I don't come down here all that often. There's a couple other places I prefer."

"Why didn't you say so?" Kevin asked in exasperation.

Johnny shrugged. "You seemed to be having a good time."

"Because I was there with you," Kevin replied, smacking Johnny on the arm, "Next time you want to go somewhere else, say so."

"Next time, huh?" Johnny's expression turned thoughtful.

"Yes, next time," Kevin answered firmly, "As in, I want to come here and see you again."

By this time, they had reached the Rover, and Johnny unlocked his door, climbing up before reaching across to unlock the passenger side. No sooner had Kevin climbed up inside, than Johnny leaned over and wrapped a hand around the back of Kevin's neck, pulling him in and picking up right where they'd left off in the bar.

It wasn't long before they were making out like a pair of teenagers, hands tugging on shirts and sliding underneath. Johnny's fingers spread across Kevin's lower back, and Kevin finally realized he was trying to pull Kevin toward him.

"C'mon," Johnny murmured, "Got the back all set up."

Part of Kevin's brain was still trying to puzzle out why they couldn't just go back to Johnny's place for this, but the rest of him was caught up in the feel of Johnny's hands and lips all over him, and so he allowed Johnny to guide him through to the back of the Rover. He was surprised at the amount of room there was back here, and it occurred to Kevin that Johnny had probably done this more than a time or two.

Once in the back of the Rover, things started progressing quickly, buttons and zippers and belts coming undone, hands and mouths moving everywhere. Kevin was vaguely aware there was a possibility they could get caught out here, but that didn't stop him from sliding Johnny's jeans and boxers down and taking hold of his rapidly hardening flesh, stroking firmly.

"Christ," Johnny's voice was rough with desire as he did the same to Kevin.

Kevin wanted to do so much more than space would allow. Maybe if he could convince Johnny to take this back to his place—

The thought was immediately short circuited as Johnny's mouth found that damn spot on his collarbone, and he let out an involuntary moan. Johnny started working his way down from there, shifting around and replacing his hand with his mouth. It didn't take Kevin long to realize that Johnny had turned around so that he could do the same.

Kevin took that opportunity despite the glorious distraction Johnny was providing, soon becoming lost in giving the same pleasure he was getting. All too soon, he could feel the sensation build, his whole body tensing up as he let go, shuddering even as he tried to concentrate on Johnny.

He felt Johnny's fingers curl into the back of his thigh, his legs tensing up under Kevin's hands followed by him shooting hard into Kevin's mouth before relaxing with a quiet sigh.

"Damn," Johnny murmured as he rested his hand on Kevin's leg. "That okay for you?"

"Oh yes," Kevin let out a short laugh, "As if you couldn't tell."

Johnny rolled away onto his back, his hand never leaving Kevin's leg. "Just asking. It can get a little awkward back here."

"We could've just waited until we got back to your place," Kevin pointed out.

Johnny pulled his hand away, shifting slightly to pull up his boxers and jeans, but didn't reply. Kevin realized he'd have to tread carefully. "Unless there's some reason you don't want to do that."

Johnny sat up, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, a frown barely visible on his face in the low light. "I've never brought a guy home. Lots of girls, never a guy."

"You're kidding," Kevin scoffed as he pulled his own jeans and boxers up, "Never?"

Johnny shook his head. "Never. Didn't want to draw attention to myself."

Kevin was having trouble wrapping his mind around that logic. "Unlike doing it in a parking lot."

"I don't normally do that," Johnny shot back, "Not in the parking lot, anyway. Always seem to lose my head when it comes to you."

He let out a pensive sigh. "Maybe you oughta go home tonight."

"That makes no damn sense, Johnny," Kevin argued sharply.

"Listen, I can't have you at my place," Johnny argued back, "It'll arouse suspicion. See, you've got it so easy. You're out in the middle of nowhere. You could have anyone you wanted there, and no one would ever know. I've got a building full of neighbors, and some of them are awfully damn nosy. I don't need that kind of trouble. Christ, I never should've invited you here."

That stung, but Kevin also realized that Johnny had a somewhat inaccurate view of his own life. "Johnny, please don't think things are so easy for me, either. It's just as risky for me to be out as it is for you."

"I don't think that's true, Kev," Johnny responded quietly.

"Okay, maybe not as risky, but still risky," Kevin acknowledged, "I could lose everything, including that damn house in the middle of nowhere."

Johnny shifted, pulling his knees up to his chest, as sad looking as Kevin had ever seen him. "I'm tired of living like this."

Kevin wanted nothing more than to wrap himself around Johnny. Instead, he settled for reaching out to lay a hand on his arm. "I am, too."

"Suppose I could just date chicks," Johnny continued as if he hadn't heard Kevin.

"You could."

Johnny covered Kevin's hand with his own. "But that'd mean losing you."

Kevin swallowed hard. "If that's what you need to do, I get it."

Johnny was silent for a long moment, lightly stroking Kevin's hand with his thumb. Finally, he shook his head. "I don't wanna lose you. I don't. Christ, you must think I'm stupid."

"I don't."

"Well, you should," Johnny answered sharply, "Because it is stupid. You know what? To hell with it. Come back to my place."

"What about your neighbors?"

"I'll deal with them," Johnny told him as he unfolded himself and started to climb into the front seat.

Kevin was still a little confused by Johnny's sudden change of mind but climbed into the seat beside Johnny. Almost as soon as Kevin settled into his seat, Johnny started the Rover, shifted it into gear, and drove out of the parking lot.

It wasn't long before they pulled into the parking lot behind Johnny's apartment house, and Johnny shut off the Rover, pausing for a long moment while he played with his keys.

Kevin reached for Johnny's hand, closing his fingers around it to silence Johnny's keys. Johnny lifted his head and looked over at him. Finally, he managed a slight smile. "Suppose we might as well head up."

They climbed down from the Rover and headed toward the apartment house. Kevin noticed that Johnny was looking around, ever alert for anyone who might be nosing around.

All was quiet, and they made their way to Johnny's apartment. Johnny unlocked the door and let them inside. Kevin closed the door behind him and nearly ran right into Johnny.

He stopped himself with a hand on Johnny's chest, and Johnny immediately covered it with his own. "Sorry."

"For what?"

Johnny let out a short sigh. "For being, well, I don't know. A coward, I guess."

"Johnny, you're not a coward," Kevin assured him, "You're just being cautious. I get that. Believe me."

Johnny merely leaned in and kissed Kevin lightly. "You already know how I feel about you. I'm not gonna let anything get in the way of that."

Kevin slid his hand to the small of Johnny's back, drawing in close and capturing Johnny's mouth in a long, lingering kiss. Johnny's hand was on the back of his neck, threading through his hair, and God, Kevin wanted him right here and now.

Johnny finally broke off the kiss first, pulling back slightly to study Kevin. "You wanna go to bed?"

"I do," Kevin replied, "But don't count on getting any sleep."

Johnny's face broke into a full smile. "Oh, I wasn't. Lock the door, will ya?"

Kevin breathed a sigh of relief as he did so. He was going to make damn sure Johnny didn't regret this.

As soon as they were in the bedroom, Johnny pulled him in close, and they wasted no time stripping each other down before Kevin pushed Johnny back on the bed and leaned over him to kiss him hard.

Johnny arched under him, a muffled moan escaping him as he wrapped his arms around him for a moment before his hands started sliding downward and squeezing Kevin's rear.

Kevin briefly broke away, evoking a murmur from Johnny as his hands slid over Kevin's body. "Hang on," Kevin told him, "You've got lube, right?"

"Pocket of my jeans."

Kevin found a small tube after digging through Johnny's jeans and soon returned, squeezing out a small measure and slicking both himself and Johnny up before slowly pushing his way in. Johnny let out a rough groan as he did so, the cords in his neck growing taut as the bedspread crumpled up in his fingers.

"That okay?" Kevin paused for a moment.

"Oh yeah," Johnny answered roughly, "The harder the better. You know that."

Kevin leaned over again to kiss him. "Might wake up the neighbors."

Johnny huffed in exasperation. "To hell with the neighbors."

Kevin couldn't help laughing at that. "If you say so."

Johnny's hands spread out across Kevin's back as Kevin started driving hard into him, the sounds of their breath and their bodies coming together the only sounds in the room. It was a rough and raw as it ever got between them, reminding Kevin of that first night in San Francisco, back when Kevin had thought they'd never see each other again.

But this was different, Kevin knew that now. There was an intimacy here now that there hadn't been then, and Kevin found himself realizing what was missing with all his other encounters, as enjoyable as they were. They weren't this, and this was what he wanted more than anything else.

"Ah, damn, Kev," Johnny's rough voice brought Kevin back to the moment, and he lifted his head enough to see Johnny's head thrown back, his body arching to meet Kevin's in that final moment before he unloaded, shuddering under Kevin with a long sigh.

Kevin wasn't far behind, shooting deep inside Johnny until he was spent, relaxing and leaning over Johnny for a long, deep kiss before pulling back and studying Johnny's face.

Johnny regarded him curiously. "Something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Kevin told him as he shifted to lay beside him, "Just thinking."

"Well, you think," Johnny replied, "I'm, uh, gonna clean up a little."

Kevin watched him disappear before laying back on the bed. He couldn't help wondering to himself what it might be like to go to bed with Johnny every night and wake up with him every day. It was nearly an impossibility, he knew that, and he couldn't believe he was even thinking about it. He had decided long ago to live alone and keep any companionship on the casual side.

And yet, here he was, laying in another man's bed trying to figure out how to convince that man to come live with him.

The feel of something wet dropping on his stomach snapped him out of his thoughts, and he lifted his head to see the washcloth Johnny had brought him.

"Figured you'd wanna clean up before you went home," Johnny explained.

That threw Kevin. "Do you want me to go home?"

"Well, I mean, not really," Johnny answered, his brow crinkling slightly, "But if you want to, I understand. I usually sleep better in my own bed."

Kevin sat up and wiped himself off. "Funny, you seem to sleep just fine in mine."

Johnny appeared even more confused, though he shrugged casually. "It's a nice bed."

"So is yours," Kevin responded as he tossed the washcloth back to Johnny, "And I'd very much like to stay if it's all the same to you."

Johnny smiled ever so slightly. "I'm not much of a cook, but I make a pretty decent cup of coffee."

"We can figure that out in the morning," Kevin told him.

Johnny nodded before he disappeared for a moment, returning empty-handed. "Shove over, you're on my side of the bed."

"You have a side?"

"Well, yeah," Johnny answered as he turned out the light and climbed into bed next to Kevin, "Don't you?"

"Never thought about it," Kevin replied as he settled in.

It was quiet for a long moment until he felt Johnny shift next to him, slinging an arm and a leg over him. "Can I tell you something?" Johnny asked.

"Sure."

There was a brief silence before Johnny responded. "I've kinda missed this. You know, just being with you."

Kevin shifted so that he was facing Johnny and slid an arm over him. "I have too."

Johnny let out a short sigh. "Sure would be something if we could…well, never mind."

Was Johnny thinking along the same lines he was? "No, go on."

"Forget it, it's dumb."

"I doubt that."

There was another brief silence. "You think a couple of guys could just shack up together?"

"Sure," Kevin couldn't help laughing a little, "Like roommates."

"Yeah," Johnny laughed quietly in response, "Very, uh, intimate roommates."

Kevin turned that over in his mind. "There'd be a lot of practical issues to work out."

"Yeah, I know," Johnny replied offhandedly, "Just thinking, you know."

"Sure, of course," Kevin agreed, "And we don't have to make any decisions tonight."

"Right," Johnny answered, "Some other time. I'm tired."

Kevin moved in closer to Johnny, listening as his breathing deepened and he started snoring softly. Just the fact that they were on the same page about this was a big deal, never mind if they actually went forward with this.

Were either one of them ready for this? Kevin had no idea, but he supposed they'd both find out.