Aurora Borealis

by Star-Of-Radiance

Bella's 'perfect slice of forever' slowly unravels, piece by piece. Months after the confrontation during Breaking Dawn, all the devastating consequences of crimes, both forgotten and overlooked, reveal themselves, and the criminal trials and sentencing of Edward Cullen and the Volturi unfold- along with its equally devastating aftermath. Think carefully before you choose to act...

50. Father and Child

"The lack of closure in an unsolved case seems to have a sharpening effect on those left behind; the details remain vivid to them even years later, possibly because they've gone over them looking for answers so many times."

Michelle McNamara

Outside of the Swan house, Charlie sat on the patio facing the back yard.

Now that he'd learned Renesmee had woken up, he could relax. Sue and Billy had assured him that none of the Wolves had any plans to come over, and that they were all keeping a strict eye on Jacob to ensure that he doesn't escape, even though Gabrielle the witch had put spells on him to make sure he never came anywhere near Renesmee.

It was hard. As much as Charlie despised what Jacob had done, he understood that a large part of it had came from Jake's own upbringing and Bella's careless and unthinking mistakes, and that Charlie and Renée was as much to blame for failing Bella as Billy was for doing the same to Jacob.

Anger and bitterness knotted his stomach at the thought of his ex-wife. When he'd heard what Renée had to say- or rather, confess- he'd been so enraged he nearly slammed down the phone and made immediate arrangements with his lawyer at court. A small part of him felt compassion at the thought of putting his daughter's mother through the prospect of being legally sued, especially since Renée was again going through the divorce courts along with therapy this time, and was unlikely to have any money- and what would Charlie even need that money for anyway? But even though he also remembered that his daughter's mother had been an appalling one, to put it in the mildest terms possible, Charlie really hadn't been any better.

It was Charlie who had proposed to and married Renée when the latter was at the tender age of nineteen, before she'd even gone to college. It was Charlie who believed every damned word his soon-to-be-ex-wife had said in a bitter tantrum, like a spoiled brat, just as she was leaving him and didn't fight for more time or custody of Bella or to become more of a present figure in her life since, according to Renée, he couldn't give her a good home or life and he just simply accepted that and only did what he could for Bella's sake. It was Charlie who'd never learned to cook because he never searched for and found time for cooking lessons. And as much as he feared the idea of counselling or psychiatric help, seeing it as demeaning, an admission that something wasn't right either in your head or with your relationship with your family, Charlie admitted it might've been the wisest thing to do. He never picked up on the fact that his daughter was withdrawn and miserable whenever she came to Forks, and when she first moved here in January, two years ago. He never sought family counselling or even therapeutic help for Bella when she'd turned into a vegetable and then a zombie for months all because her boyfriend of six months had dumped her. And he never put his foot down and stood up to Bella when she threatened to move out if he didn't accept Wardo, around forty-eight hours after she'd abruptly gone overseas without so much as telling him when he was at his best friend's funeral. He should've disciplined and kicked her out to teach her a lesson after she threatened to move out and choose her ex if Charlie didn't accept him, mere hours after she came back.

Although there was still the problem of Edward and his family who undoubtedly would've taken her in and coddled her even more, encouraging her bad behaviour and making it worse. And then it would've been even more difficult for Bella to see reason and to give the slightest bit of a damn about other people.

Yet the list of failures that Charlie personally committed as a father must've been ten miles long if not more, he conceded. And it was all this bitterness that haunted him. When he was away from that mind-messing Wardo- whom he now knew was a telepath and had a way of manipulating and playing mind-games with other people including Charlie, even if he couldn't see into his mind clearly- Charlie had brooded and thought. He remembered all the things he'd seen that didn't seem to make sense, first Jacob but not just Jacob, but the fact that his own gut told him that Bella had been keeping secrets from him, secrets which had now been fully revealed.

The fact that Wardo was a one-hundred-year-old-plus vampire didn't make it any better in Charlie's eyes. In fact, it only made things worse, because really, Charlie would've thought that someone of that age-group and experience, someone who claimed that he liked to do things the old-fashioned way which was the way he was raised (which, as Charlie should've pointed, was why the hypocritical little prick should've asked for permission to marry Bella first before he proposed if he wanted to do things the traditional way, before she was even twenty) would've had more manners.

Charlie wished he had known how to communicate with Bella better about that. And that, maybe, if he had been a better father and sought to have been there for Bella more often, instead of just believing Renée and giving up, and spoke to his daughter more eloquently, or tried to communicate with her better in any way, then she would have at least listened to all his warnings. But he wasn't and she didn't.

Not that Charlie ever warned Bella directly about Edward. He knew she would never have listened to all the warning signs he'd pointed out anyway. But he would never forgive himself for not trying, especially now more than ever.

He knew he and Bella needed to have a talk. He could sense, somehow, that she knew as well. Maybe it was that inner magic that supposedly lay sleeping within his genes, which he passed down to her and Renesmee, the way Gabrielle the witch-scientist had said. But for now, Renesmee's recovery and safety was the only thing that mattered.

He hoped that Billy and Rachel could handle Jacob.

His brow was furrowed, but he felt a tiny bit lighter knowing they all stood a chance of healing and moving on- and that Edward Cullen wasn't coming back to haunt them any longer.

And then suddenly he heard footsteps. Without turning, he knew who it was.

Bella stepped out into the front yard. Charlie looked up from the newspaper he hadn't succeeded in getting his concentration into.

It seemed like his daughter was struggling in finding the words to say.

"I-uh, noticed that you've changed the cabinets," she said weakly, gesturing towards the kitchen. Charlie shrugged.

"Yeah." He said shortly. "'Bout time too." He picked up the newspaper again.

Bella swallowed. "Dad... I know you're angry and- and I deserve everything-"

"You think that's what I'm angry about?" Charlie said quietly, the words slipping out of him before he knew it.

Bella winced. "No, but..."

"But what, Bella?" He asked calmly, lowering the newspaper. "Go on, I'm listening."

Bella sighed. Charlie rolled his eyes and gestured to the seat beside him, rolling up the paper. Wordlessly, Bella took it. Charlie noticed she was biting her lip.

Old habits die hard, Charlie thought. She was still the same Bella as she was before she became a vampire- that hadn't changed. The only thing Charlie wondered was what his daughter had gotten herself into.

Especially now that they knew where her romance and marriage with Edward had led: to him being thrown in jail and their only child lying unconscious after being unwillingly bonded to someone who had issues with both her parents, especially her mother whom she was supposed to replace.

Charlie was silent, but after a while he spoke.

"Was it worth it?" He asked. "In the end?" Bella knew what he was talking about.

She bit her lip harder. Her brow knitted itself together. Yes, she was definitely the same Bella that she was before, which was a good thing otherwise he wouldn't have been able to have this question answered.

Bella swallowed, hard. "I... may have made a mistake." She answered in a very small voice.

Charlie sighed. "I might've done the same." Bella winced, involuntarily.

"I will never regret you," Charlie said quietly. "Never, do you understand? But I regret I couldn't have given you a better start in life and a family that could be there for you along every step of the way. I regret not doing enough to actively shape you and your view and outlook on life so much that you were more than happy to throw away your family, your humanity and your chances of a real life and future the first chance you got, because it just seemed so horrible." Bella winced again.

"Dad-"

"And I regret- more than anything- after making mistakes, I let things be instead of fighting more for you and for them. Instead, I laid down and let you and Edward- and Jacob- along with Renée treat me and everybody else including Billy and all your friends like a bunch of doormats, even though I knew better and I had my reservations about Edward- and Jacob." This last part sent Bella's head shooting up in a speed which made Charlie wince a little. She definitely was no longer human.

"Jacob?" She echoed. "But... but you wanted me to be with him! You hated Edward!"

"Yeah, I hated Edward," Charlie agreed, shrugging. "And Jacob's practically family, just as Billy, Quil- Quil's father- Quil himself, Harry and Sue and their kids were and still are to me. But that doesn't excuse me being blind to what Jacob did to you with that kiss both as a cop and a father, even though I knew in my gut it was wrong. It doesn't excuse me not pushing you to get help instead of just than letting things be and simply being content when you were out of the house with Jacob and came back happier, expecting your problems to be solved with nothing but the easy quick-fix, instead of something more reliable, and jumping from one teenage romance to another." He shook his head. "I was so blinded by my hatred and resentment towards Edward that I neglected to see the truth: you were all to blame, just as Billy, Carlisle and Esme, and I were for letting things be and allowing you guys to go through with everything." He neglected to mention his ex-wife's name since he believed that since she'd damaged Bella to the extent that she had, Renée didn't even deserve a place on the Bad Parents' list. For one, you actually had to be a parent to begin with. "And the three of you were bad for each other, just as you were bad for each others' family and friends, and everyone who ever interacted with you in the first place."

Bella flinched involuntarily. "There's no denying it, Bella, you, Edward and Jacob- the dynamic between the three of you, the 'friendship-'" he made finger quotation marks "-you had with Jake. The romance you had with Edward..." Charlie barely restrained from spitting out Edward's name. "Maybe Edward had his good qualities, just as you did and Jake. But the three of you, or rather you and Edward together, or you hanging out with Jacob, brought out the worst in yourselves and each other. It was horrible, even just watching the two of you- the boy I had known and helped to raise his entire life from birth and my only child- disintegrate and give into the very worst aspects of yourselves uncaring of what this was doing, not only to other people, but your own individual personalities." Bella flinched. "The Jacob I know would've never done even half the things he did after you and him started hanging out." The flinch deepened. "And as little time as I had with her, the girl from Phoenix, who had straight-As and was responsible in everything she did, would've never broken traffic rules and rode a motorcycle without so much as an instruction permit from the DMV, and she would've never taken her friend after dark in Port Angeles while possessing the only ride back home only to abandon her to go on a joyride with some random stranger, unknowing or uncaring on whether she would be safe and could come back, or whether her own friend would be able to find her way back home safely if her only ride abandoned her in the dark."

Bella flinched again at the reminder. "Especially since you gave barely an apology," Charlie reminded sternly. "Jessica had every single damned right to be pissed at you."

Bella hung her head in shame.

"And while the girl from Phoenix may have been a pushover and unable to stand up to her own mother the way she needed and Renée deserved, she would've never, after running away from home while her father was at his best friend's funeral-" Bella winced deeply "-with barely a note, no matter what the reason or how much she supposedly loved her ex-beau, came home and less than five hours later threaten to move out and disown that same father if he refused to accept Edward- even though she fully understood why and knew he had very good reasons." Charlie smouldered down at her.

Bella couldn't meet his eyes. Shame didn't come close to defining what she now felt. Or regret and remorse.

"Let's be honest here, Bella. How is it that Renée who was so dependent on you to do even the most basic and smallest things to the point where she not only emotionally neglected you as a mother-" Bella winced but didn't even try to defend Renée "-but also turned you into her indentured slave since you were a child got more respect than I did?" Charlie demanded, his voice soft but deadly. "Even though I wasn't always present in your life where you happened to be living at that time, whether it was Downey or Riverside in California or Phoenix in Arizona, I did my damned best whenever you were here, or when I took two weeks every summer to go down south and spend as much time and be as much of a dad as I could with you when you suddenly decided you'd had enough of the weather here in Forks?" Bella flinched again.

Charlie sighed. "Do you remember the girl you were at Phoenix?" He asked. "The straight-A student? Pushover as you might've been, emotionally and psychologically manipulated and groomed into being an indentured servant to your own mother since you were a child, you were still responsible. You had care, compassion for other people. Consideration, the bare minimum of respect at the very least. Politeness. You after Edward? You with Edward- or Jacob? If the girl who went to high school in Phoenix and became a straight-A student and a responsible caregiver for an irresponsible and mentally problematic woman-" Bella bit her lip "-came across a girl who turned into a vegetable for four months after her boyfriend of just six months dumped her, became a zombie right after, drove a motorcycle and crashed into a tree at least once-" Bella cringed "-abandoned a friend who trusted her to take her out at night in the middle of the town when she had the only ride home to go joyriding with an unknown stranger, and then threw herself off a cliff to get an adrenaline rush, without so much as asking somebody to supervise or instruct and be there for her if everything went wrong while trying an extreme sport... if you ever came across that girl, the kind of girl that did all that while also running away while her grieving father, who went through hell over the past few months as well, was the funeral of someone he loved and then hours later, uncaring of everything he had all been through and felt, threatening to move out and abandon him as a family so she could move in and do whatever she wanted with her boyfriend and her new family whom she chose over her own flesh and blood... what would you think?" He asked suddenly.

"What would you think about that girl, Bella?" Charlie pressed quietly. Bella felt smaller with every word he spoke.

"What would you also think about the girl who after doing all that also led more than one boy on in a wild goose chase to win her heart? Not just Jacob, but Mike Newton. I know you invited him to the cinemas along with Jacob. And while maybe the two of them had the wrong idea and you never meant to lead them on, you could've just as easily said, 'No Mike, no Jake, I don't want to date either of you and I only want us to be friends' instead of letting them think there was something else going on. I know you're not that stupid. You knew as well as I did that Jacob wanted more from you long before he confessed and forced a kiss on you. You knew that Mike was like a puppy when it came to you as he himself attested, to his own personal shame and regret." Bella started at that. Clearly he had been talking to Mike. And now she just learned that Mike regretted even liking her in the first place. Bella's guilt worsened. Just how much damage had she done to other people without even being aware of it all? "And God only knows what Edward must've felt after you also kissed Jacob even though he forgave or never held a grudge against you. The fact that he had to share your heart..." Charlie shook his head and laughed bitterly. Bella wanted to curl up and die.

"You could've- and should've said no." Charlie said flatly. "Hell, you and Alice could've called Carlisle and Esme- and even those Volturi scum in Italy to restrain Edward, if it meant getting you on the phone and having to warn them about the Wolves and their protection and territory as well as alerting Edward about your survival. But tell me, would the person you were before you came to Forks have liked the girl that you became? Or would you have avoided and thought badly of her, someone who did all of that?"

Bella couldn't bring herself to reply, even though she knew the answer.

Charlie knew it too. "Imagine what it was like for me: living in that moment, participating in it or just witnessing everything, seeing what your only child, whom you've poured your heart and soul, your hopes, dreams and wishes into, despite the great distance between you both; and the kid who you've known and helped raise since birth, especially after his mom died... before my own eyes, seeing the two of you disintegrate into two of the most callous, self-absorbed, dishonest, manipulative and uncaring individuals I had ever known or had to deal with in my life apart from Edward." That hit like a bolt of lightning onto Bella but she said nothing. She knew she deserved every second of his tirade. "And I've dealt with kids who deal with drugs and end up in juvenile prison while their parents cried, as well as criminals whose kids also did the same when saying goodbye to their moms and dads after they got a prison sentence for years, so that's saying something." Bella's insides squirmed.

"And maybe Edward had his good points and qualities too; I wouldn't know. I didn't know him very well until you came along, and even then I didn't know that much about him. But the little that I did see in him, from the utter lack of sincere remorse about lying to me as evidenced by the mountain of excuses that came after the barely-adequate apology, to the condescending compassion as if he was just indulging me for your sake as opposed to treating me with any genuine respect- not just as your father but as a person- which shouldn't have been too much to ask for or even just expect, to the utter hypocrisy he had in claiming he wanted to marry you as quickly as possible so as to do things the 'traditional' way which was why he also neglected to do things the traditional way in asking for your hand in marriage... Well, even then, his request for my blessing was more like he was making sure I knew that he didn't damned well need my friggin' blessing but he'd prefer to ask for it to throw the dog a bone here, and keep you- and me- quiet and content as well as, who knows, maybe the whole town from gossiping about the two of you and his family... But even if Edward was ever a good person, either in his human life or his vampire one, the kind of guy that does all that without feeling the slightest amount of empathy for any living soul he is subjecting all this to, isn't a good person." He said firmly with no room for argument in his tone.

Bella was silent.

"Maybe Edward was a good person at some point," Charlie conceded. "Just as you were, and Jacob. But either this-" he waved a hand at her entire body "-was all just lurking underneath the surface waiting to spring out and you guys brought out the worst in each other, or the three of you changed entirely; disintegrating into the most horrible individuals apart from psychopaths, paedophiles, and sadistic murderers. It's not just doing terrible things that makes a person a monster, Bella. It's letting it happen and not caring enough to stop or do something about it. Believe me, monsters and criminals feel remorse too. They often wish they don't have to kill or violate an innocent child against their will. There are paedophiles in prison who advocate never being set free because they don't trust themselves and they don't want to hurt anybody else." Bella wanted to shrivel and curl up into a ball. "It doesn't take away the damage they've done, nor does it make any of them into a better person just because they feel regret and remorse."

Bella swallowed and bit her lip. She was crying, even without tears, but Charlie, although his eyes softened and showed a bit of regret, hardened his gaze and kept pushing through. He knew that she needed this. And it came far too late.

"And just because what you did was explainable, even understandable, doesn't make things okay or in any way excusable. Same with Renée. She might not mean to do it, she might even regret it- and I know she does- but it doesn't make what she did to you, what she turned you into for the past seventeen years of your life remotely fine or okay, or in any way acceptable." Charlie turned away.

"And after all that..." Charlie threw his hands up into the air carelessly. "Here I am, after you guys introduced Renesmee to me and I learned my best friend's son is practically a werewolf..." Charlie shook his head. "I realised then that Edward hadn't changed nor did he make the slightest effort to become a better person to anyone. And then Sue revealed to me that Harry's heart attack happened when he saw Leah phase for the first time and he knew about Wolves and vampires, so unlike me he wasn't completely in the dark." Bella winced. "So when I came face to face with Jake again after months of killing myself with worry over his disappearance, especially when I saw Jacob all jazzed up and happy- before I even knew about imprinting and what he was planning to do to Renesmee-" fury dripped from Charlie's words "-I had to confront the brutal truth that Jacob was not a better person than Wardo and Edward hadn't changed either. There's no denying it, as much as I was desperate to blind myself to Jake's flaws in the past. And when I saw you as a vampire for the first time and learned I had a granddaughter, but also when I confronted Edward and you about all the lies, only for Edward to come with a pathetic half-assed apology that he clearly and obviously didn't mean, thinking to insult my intelligence- or maybe even human intelligence in general- while believing that I was convinced by his bare-faced lies and excuses... That's when I knew he hadn't changed. I knew he had no honour, conscience or remorse in this regard." Charlie stated bitterly.

"Did you know that Pope John Paul the Second once said 'An excuse is worse than a lie, because an excuse is a lie guarded'?" He tilted his head. Bella flinched yet again.

"So it was, I was just asking myself how it could've come to this. But trying to find an answer by reliving it in my memories- that's even worse than I imagined it would've felt.

Bella swallowed and looked down. In a very quiet voice Charlie asked, "Do you even know when Jacob's birthday is?" Bella didn't answer.

"I didn't even know when Edward was born," she said quietly. Charlie hummed in acknowledgement.

"I see. So it's me, Renée and you all over again, huh?" He noted grimly. "Only with vampires, werewolves and witches this time."

For a moment, Bella didn't speak. She had nothing to say about that. Then she asked. "Did Mom phone you just to say that she and Phil are getting divorced?"

Charlie shrugged. "She wanted me to pass on the message. Said she couldn't bring herself to tell you up front, especially since she proved to be such an influence on your life and choices after screwing you up and doing wrong with you."

Bella's shoulders slumped.

"Mom painted the cabinet doors in the kitchen," she said numbly. She remembered seeing the cabinets the first time she moved to Forks and realising- or believing- that Charlie still loved her.

"Did she?" Charlie shrugged. "Been so long, I couldn't remember."

"I thought you loved her." Bella noted. "I thought you couldn't get over her."

Charlie looked disgusted at the memory. "Now I can't see what I saw in her at the time." He admitted. "I can't understand why I liked her so much, why I ever thought we could be happy together for the rest of our lives. She was so... yeah, she was happy and fun and all, but she was so... young." He grimaced. "It was like falling in love with a kid. And she was a kid even if I was a few years older. She was one year older than you when you got married and it later showed."

Belatedly, Bella remembered that her mother admitted that she had gone on that trip up the Pacific Northwest where she first met Charlie on First Beach- in the exact same place where years later, Bella would meet Jacob for the first time- that she wasn't even sure if she would have a place to stay when she got back because at that point Renée had moved out of her mother's house, being unable to take Gran's pessimism any longer, and had been roommates with a friend working several temporary jobs to pay for it. She had gone on the trip with no idea on whether there would be any place for her there if she got back since her friend could've very well rented the space to someone else, or a having a backup plan on where to live if it had been rented to another person.

Just one of the many things her mother had overlooked. Like her purse or to check in the fridge to see if they had any food left.

"Or maybe it's just 'cause my memories of her are tainted after finally moving on and learning what she did to you." Charlie grimaced. "After being so angry and realising I wasted so much time and effort on that kind of a person, someone who damaged or even destroyed my only daughter, it's hard not to feel ashamed and disgusted with myself for falling for her in the first place, much less thinking she and I could be happy together forever." Bella froze, realising that Charlie's words could have very well applied to her situation with Renesmee and Edward. "It was endearing at first," he admitted "and I thought that, after all, since she was practically an adult and had already moved out of her mother's place, Renée might've been sunny, fun and a little silly, but surely she could be serious and pragmatic when she needed to be. But she wasn't and I never took the time to find out since our marriage was basically a shotgun wedding and something like a Hollywood Vegas joke of a union that didn't even last half a decade." Bella winced at the reminder of what she had called her own wedding to Edward in her thoughts. Already, more and more she was finding parallels between her own parents with her marriage to Edward. "And it broke down before I really figured it out since I was so busy looking after my parents, being a police officer and a new father. I suspect that if she hadn't quickly decided she wanted to leave and go back to California with you, then I would've had to open my eyes to her sooner or later and our marriage would've broken down anyway, if largely on my part or because of both of us instead."

Bella was silent. "And Phil?" She asked quietly. "He really..."

Charlie nodded. "Yeah. Seems like it was endearing for him too, at first. And he thought, just as I did, that underneath all that adorable quirkiness she was an actual mom and one who loved her daughter since she seemed so close to you. Therefore, she must've been an adult. I suppose that Renée meant well and that got us both believing that she could act on it. Neither of us knew she was using her eight-year-old daughter to pay the electricity bill or manage the finances, which was technically child abuse and therefore illegal even if she wasn't abusing you physically-" Bella flinched realising that Renée could very well get into trouble "-and Phil also didn't know that underneath all that she genuinely was a kid."

He sighed, shaking his head at his own foolishness. "I don't know what's going to happen to Renée," he admitted "but if she's getting therapy and she really needs it, then she's mentally ill and what's important now is that she gets treated and she's getting better. If she's mentally sick then she can't help it, either, so as angry as I am, as much as I have a good reason to be mad at her, I try not to be too angry with her. The biggest thing I'm mad at her for is not getting help any sooner when you were still a kid, if only for your sake so she could be an actual mom to you, instead of just letting things be. But I'm also guilty about that too." He looked at Bella.

"Tell me... when I snapped at you in January last year and told you to snap out of your funk, when I offered to take you to counselling or anything, did you refuse solely because you thought that either a human shrink would've thought you crazy and insisted you be put into a straitjacket and locked inside a rubber room, or 'cause you would've exposed your boyfriend and his world?" Charlie asked, eyebrow raising. "Or maybe you also thought that the idea of seeing a shrink and getting help was a humiliating admission there was something wrong with you and you were sick in the head? Was that why you refused my offer to get you help?"

Bella hesitated. Her first natural instinct was to deny it, but then she thought...

"I... don't know," she confessed hesitantly. "I think... I think I first thought that I would either expose Edward and his family, or I would've been labelled crazy, but... now that I think about it, I think I didn't want to admit that there was something wrong with me." She admitted shamefully. Charlie hummed thoughtfully.

"True... but you could've just not told the shrink about all that supernatural stuff." Bella looked sceptical.

"What if he or she saw right through me?" She asked suspiciously.

"He or she would've never imagined that the supernatural really did exist so whatever counsellor or psychologist we found would've never guessed or been clued to anything about that," Charlie said sternly "no matter how bad of a liar you are. They're trained not to spot signs of the supernatural or the paranormal, whatever magic is, or whoever's hiding it but to focus and sort out the issues that you might not even know you have deep inside, so you could heal and have a better life. The supernatural aspect of your story is irrelevant compared to the unhealthy dynamics that dominated in both your relationships with Edward and Jacob." Bella's gut squirmed again. "Their task was to help you sort out your feelings, even the ones you don't think or know you have. Like the fact that you didn't want to accept help because you didn't want to admit there was anything wrong with you, not just because you were afraid of exposing your boyfriend or sounding crazy. You didn't know you felt that way at the time but it was a reason why you never accepted any help, yet you would've figured it out, just as you would've figured out a bunch of other things, like why you felt attracted, no attached to the point of clinginess to Edward and then Jacob-" Bella winced "-and why you couldn't let go of either of them, and, most importantly, that it was best and healthier for the three of you if you had let both of them go. And maybe you would've figured out why you were so dependent and couldn't live without either of them in your life like they were oxygen, food and water at the same time even though the whole relationship you had with Edward and the extra dynamic you had with Jacob was bad for the three of you and hurt everybody else along the way." Charlie shook his head. "I wish I'd pushed you harder or insisted that you get help."

Bella bit her lip and looked down. She swallowed hard.

"Because neither Renée nor I were ever there for you. We never looked after you or your needs, emotional and physical, as much as we should've. And it's okay to admit that," Charlie insisted staring her down. "It's okay to be angry with either or both of us for not being the parents you needed."

Bella opened her mouth on instinct to deny everything, but she paused. She didn't even know what she was going to say. It was so hardwired into her all this...

Pathetic. That was what she was. Truly pathetic.

Charlie nodded sagely. "I could see it in your eyes. You were going to deny it just to save my feelings and ease both our senses of guilt. It was on instinct, but you don't have an argument for that, do you?"

Bella couldn't answer.

Charlie sighed. "You spent more time with Renée than you did with me. Tell me," he insisted "did you ever look into Renée's wide and childlike baby-blue eyes and find yourself feeling guilty even for not wanting to do something she wanted you to do and just leaving her to do something on her own? Was that the reason why you couldn't be angry with her for long or even think of the idea of getting mad at her? Was that why you found that you couldn't be angry with her, in spite of her costing you your entire childhood and turning you into her personal help, but you could stand up to or even threaten to cut ties with me despite me, for all my lousy cooking, doing my share of the housework and trying to be there for you? Was it all because I didn't, consciously or unconsciously, or maybe subconsciously, elicit the same sense of pity or guilt that Renée could, voluntarily or involuntarily, to get you to do things for me or to drop whatever it is you were doing to do what I wanted or needed you to do?"

Bella avoided his gaze.

"The way you did too, huh?" Charlie said softly. Bella froze. "I know it 'cause I've been there. With both you and Renée. You might think the two of you are different, but you have no idea how much like Renée you are. That's why Leah was so mad and didn't like you very much. Because, intentionally or not, she felt you were playing mind games with Jake's emotions so much he couldn't even bring himself to be angry with you and leave you to move on by his own, and she seemed like she was the only one who could see right through you, even though you didn't seem to know what you were even doing. But that careless and callous lack of self-awareness only made her more angry.

"And the truth is that Billy and Harry also didn't like Renée when we first announced we were getting married, and neither did Sue. They saw right through her, even though she didn't intend to manipulate me nor was she was aware she was even doing that. I certainly wasn't. They respected her as a person and my girlfriend, and later as your mother, just as they respected and never objected to my wishes, but they saw what she was doing and didn't really like that, even though they were too polite to confront either of us in person. Or maybe it's 'cause they were scared I might take her side and Renée would insist on me choosing either my friends or her, or have me move from Forks even if I had to leave my terminally ill parents behind, which she eventually tried to demand that I do when she finally broke down, presented me with an ultimatum and decided to leave with you, with or without me." Bella reeled back in shock.

It was like a double sucker punch to her face: knowing that she had, even unconsciously, been as emotionally manipulative as Edward, Jacob and Renée had been with both her and her daughter, after finally coming face to face and admitting what they had done, even to herself... And even though she knew some of the things which Renée had said when she decided to leave Charlie, she didn't know that her mother had threatened and insisted that Charlie leave his terminally ill parents, his job, his friends and the only home he ever had, unless he wanted to lose his beloved wife and only child. And when Bella remembered all the things that she had said to Charlie when she was trying to get away from James, regardless of the reasons why... Guilt formed a ball inside her gut, laced with more shame than Bella could've imagined, knowing what kind of memories her words must have invoked in Charlie and what he must've felt after he heard everything she had said. And Bella remembered, less than a year later, she also threatened to move out and choose Edward over him if her father didn't accept him.

How could she have done this?

"Unlike the two of us, neither my parents or my friends were under any illusions that we would last. Billy, Sue and Harry all promised they would be nice to her and to respect our decision to get married and live together, but warned me that the two of us might've been making a mistake and didn't like how neither I nor anyone else could seem to stand up to Renée, even when she was in the wrong. Not even my parents. And look how all our marriages have turned out."

Bella flinched like she had been stabbed, but she couldn't deny anything. She had been so scared to even get Jacob or Edward angry with her in case either of them might leave and never return. And since Jacob couldn't bring himself to be angry with her, he had targeted all the hatred and rage that was meant for her towards her unborn and then newborn baby until he was tempted into attempting to kill her, which triggered the instinct inside of him to prevent him from doing such a terrible thing because of his pain, rage, hatred and anguish.

The other thing that really got to her was when Charlie compared Bella with Renée. And now Bella couldn't deny how and why she had never been able to so much as resent her mother for not looking after her and becoming a needy child or a slave-driver and never learning to look after herself or be a mother because Bella couldn't bear to think about standing up to and consequently hurting Renée. She had felt a strong sense of guilt at the thought of even considering to let her do things on her own or to look after herself, and thus she always folded and caved in.

And now she was being compared with Renée. Because Jacob couldn't even bring himself to be rightfully angry with and stand up to her, as she deserved, just as Charlie couldn't with either Renée or Bella. Bella had taken away their ability to stand up for themselves and tell her that what she was doing was both uncalled for and wrong, because just like Renée did with her and Charlie, she was, even unintentionally and unknowingly, manipulating Jacob emotionally even by means of using her own guilt as well as her fears that he would become angry and leave her, especially on bad terms.

Not for the first time, Bella marvelled at the courage and strength her baby daughter must have had to stand up to her when Bella never could or did, even with all the life experiences that she'd had in comparison to Renesmee who was still less than a year old.

And Leah. Leah was stronger and braver than any of them, especially when everyone else seemed so protective of Bella, especially Jacob and Edward for all the harm and pain she'd caused them, yet she was the only one to stand in front of Bella and tell her what she did was wrong and hurtful to others. Leah truly deserved to be a leader, Bella decided. But it was a depressing thing knowing what she had become and what she had done to the people she cared about.

"So," Charlie said calmly and evenly, but in a tone that caused her to involuntarily look back up and at him in the eye. "Tell me, is the cycle going to continue? Me and Renée damaging you, with you and Edward- and Jacob- damaging Nes- Renesmee?"

Bella flinched again, but was otherwise silent.

"I don't want it to," she finally said in a very small voice. "I think she'll be better off than I was since she's stronger... she stood up to me... she and Leah were the only ones who did that. And Renesmee saw right through Edward and Jacob when the two of them were playing with and trying to get her to do what each of them wanted."

Charlie hummed in agreement. "Yeah, she's got potential." he noted approvingly. "But potential isn't enough, Bella. She needs to be nurtured, the way I should've and Renée never even thought to do to you."

For a moment, Bella didn't speak. Then she asked, "Did Phil call you too?" It was the only explanation how he could've known so much since her mother could barely remember where she even put her phone.

Charlie sighed. "Yeah, he did. He wanted to ask me if I knew what Renée had done to you." He sighed and shook his head. "He also said that Renée was going to therapy and he was paying spousal support, but frankly he was worried that she couldn't survive on her own without you, him or somebody else to look after her. She's like a kid, Bella. But you doing everything for her wasn't helping her to grow up and live without you; that's not good for her either. And I don't think Phil deserves to slave around after Renée for the rest of his life." He looked at Bella reproachfully. "Especially without warning."

Bella felt the all-too-familiar tidal wave of guilt rising within her. She knew she really should've warned Phil: she just convinced herself that he knew enough about Renée since he'd proposed and had been willing to marry her, so he knew what he was getting himself into, and since he'd known her for months before they got engaged there would be no surprises in store for him thanks to Renée. But he didn't and she'd been a fool to think that and leave Phoenix without so much as taking the time or even thinking to warn him, or to tell him what needed to be done and what her mother couldn't do.

And maybe, as much as she didn't know it back then and as much as she would've denied it, as guilty as she certainly felt to leave her mother to fend for herself even with Phil, while Bella certainly didn't want to leave the familiar terrain of Phoenix behind to navigate the alien world of Forks, she felt relieved and wanted to get away from her own mother as soon as possible. If she had to be honest with herself and not deny anything, Bella might've felt a teensy bit relieved she no longer had to look after Renée and ensure that the house never burned down along with the entire week's worth of groceries whenever Renée tried to cook.

Bella had left for Forks and she never looked back. Despite her fears and apprehension about this new 'alien planet' she found herself in and the weather, she didn't really miss life with Renée. She barely communicated with her while she was in Forks, and mostly due to obligation. Especially once Edward had entered the picture. And while that caused a squirming of guilt in her insides, that guilt, knowing what Renée did to her and what she was at least partially responsible for, was lessened. Bella was more like her mother's personal servant, chef, chauffeur, accountant, housekeeper, laundress, cleaner and even high school friend more than she was her daughter.

What a sad truth that was, Bella reflected. But at the same time, as shameful as it was, it made the knot in her insides feel lessened after admitting the truth and now knowing why she did what she did, as well as, in a strange way, feeling revulsion, regret and remorse for her own actions since she was now forced not only to confront the truth, but to admit that what she did was not only wrong, it was unnecessary and avoidable.

And it filled her with a strange kind of strength, a determination to do better even if she could never be better than what she already was.

"Phil also doesn't trust your mother to get better with either him or you in the picture," Charlie remarked "which is another reason why he's getting a divorce and moving out as soon as possible. He's asked me to ensure that you don't come down to Florida soon so you don't accidentally end up interfering with your mother's progress or to disrupt her new life by doing anything for her so she could fall back into her old habits once she's back out of rehab."

Bella bit her lip. "He still cares for her," Charlie said thoughtfully. He nodded approvingly. "That's a good thing, but he's proving very smart. Phil's divorcing Renée because he no longer trusts her since he can see she's been using him: she's been using him to fulfil her romantic dreams and wishes, and she's using him the same way she's been using you to survive since she can't even do the smallest and most basic things on her own without either of you slaving around for her." Charlie frowned. "He doesn't deserve that. I suppose Renée did me a favour when she stormed out of this house, but I hate the fact that she convinced me it was better for you to leave with her than to stay with me and I just laid down and accepted it, never fighting or doing anything to make things better for you, even if only to take cooking lessons and take your mother to court so I could look after you more, since I thought that she was right and the better parent and this was then the only way for you to have contact with both your parents and not be abandoned by either of them." Charlie shook his head. "You might as well have been."

Bella swallowed. "Dad... I'm sorry." Her voice broke as she offered the apology that came far too late and was wholly inadequate.

"I'm sorry for everything."

"I'm sorry too," Charlie's eyes and voice softened. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better father. I'm sorry I believed Renée when she was breaking down and working an immature temper tantrum and said there was no way I could ever become a good father or husband especially since I insisted on staying here. Even though my parents were terminally ill and down to their final days, I didn't think it was right of me to abandon them." Bella flinched, both because of her mother's callousness and lack of consideration to even consider asking her father or anyone to do such a thing, and because of the reminder of what she threatened to do when Edward and her returned to Forks in March last year, as well as when she was about to run from James the year before.

"But I believed her, so I let that get to me and felt I was a hopeless case," Charlie was still saying. "Even though I tried my best I only tried for your sake even after I'd given up on myself, since you seemed to need me- not that you did once you made your desire and threat to move out and choose Edward over your own father very clear." Bella winced again "But I never questioned Renée on whether what she was saying was right or wrong, nor did I even think to check up on you guys to see how you were doing and how she was treating you apart from the polite, distant and rare phone calls and emails you used to send." Bella winced again "You might apologise for being a poor daughter but it's not like I was a good father either. And I was responsible for how you turned out, at least in part."

Bella choked on her sobs. Charlie stood and pulled her up and into a hug. Bella breathed in the warm scent of Charlie and his embrace which no longer sent a searing pain down her throat.

Charlie sighed.

"Phil thinks that you ought to communicate with your mother and go down to the rehabilitation centre once it's time, but he's afraid that having you under the same roof with Renée, especially with you guys alone together, will make her fall back into her old habits and she would become dependent on you without getting used to and learning how to survive on her own. And that you'll cave in to everything she wishes and her subconscious or unconscious manipulation to let her enslave you again." Bella winced at the mention of the word 'enslave'.

"He doesn't trust her." Bella mumbled.

"No, but that might be a good thing," Charlie remarked. "Phil's proving that he can look after himself and he has the guts to do the right thing and be responsible. He's not going to be manipulated, regardless of whether your mother means to do it." Bella winced again. "And it's not fair to expect him to spend the rest of his life slaving away after your mother, especially without warning." Bella's wince deepened. "By doing this, he's proven he can still care about someone without laying down like a doormat and allowing her to trample all over him. He's doing this for her, and for you as much as for himself because he knows she can't live like this forever and you would've eventually broken down too. No kid deserves to spend their childhood and teenage-hood, the most formative years of your development, being a servant, even if you had been paid. And no one would ever wish to spend the rest of their lives slaving away or even tolerating Renée's lack of responsibility and emotional negligence, nor her taking for granted everything either of you or anyone else has ever done for her. Eventually, Phil would've broken down completely too. And me. And you. And who would Renée have then? No one would want to be anywhere close her. She'll have no one."

Once again, Bella's razor-edged teeth sunk into her lip. She found that she couldn't argue with what her father was saying.

"He also admitted that he had his doubts when he heard that you were marrying Edward at the tender age of eighteen in spite of your mother's first marriage breaking down and wondered, since you barely saw me and spent your whole life being your mother's servant as opposed to being just her daughter, whether you flew into the arms of someone who dumped you and reduced you to a vegetative state less than a year before you got married, after knowing each other for only technically six months, was largely because you felt he was the only one who cared for you and showed you this level of attention that you never had before and you were afraid to lose him again."

Bella kept wincing because of his describing her as her mother's servant and then a vegetable, but also because the last bit was technically true. She sighed.

"I'm sorry you had to feel that way." Charlie's voice betrayed his grief and unspeakable regret. "My folks would've been ashamed and angry at my approach to parenting. You know, they liked Renée but they tried to stop me from marrying her. But I wouldn't listen." He sighed. "Guess I've reaped my just rewards, huh?"

"Grandma and Grandpa tried to stop you from getting married too?" She asked numbly. Charlie nodded.

"They knew it was a bad idea but I didn't listen. I didn't want to. I was so happy and so was she, and I didn't want to lose her while thinking I'd finally found someone. It never occurred to me that we were both young in our states of mind and our emotions and that there was a much bigger world out there and that it would've been better if we had just waited." He paused, frowning. "I knew you would have been the same about Edward. But I genuinely feared that Renesmee would as well. But I don't think that's going to be her problem now."

Bella but her lip. "You think that she'll have problems?"

Charlie nodded grimly. "The two men who were the biggest influences and presences in her early life, apart from you and you took their sides once-" Bella flinched "-and whom she trusted the most, proved to be emotionally and mentally abusive, manipulating her for their own ends and not even for the best of reasons. Jacob used and groomed her to fulfil his emotional and other needs and to replace you, and I don't think it's love that made Edward do what he did."

Bella was silent, remembering.

"Regardless, I think the biggest issue Renesmee will have should she ever wish to or even consider entering into a relationship is trust." Charlie emphasised. Bella flinched like she had been stabbed. "And even if she chooses not to pursue a romance, she will still have problems with trusting other people. That wasn't your issue, Bella." He looked at her curiously.

"Why did Edward do what he did? He had issues, didn't he? I know he didn't smother or emotionally and mentally manipulate her out of love or fears about her safety."

Bella looked down. "He wanted me to get an abortion when he learned that I was pregnant. As soon as he found out, he made arrangements not just for a flight back but for an abortion. Without so much as asking me." Charlie's eyes darkened.

She swallowed hard, but kept going. She owed Charlie the truth. "I contacted Rosalie behind his back when he was out of the way, and I used her and Esme- and Emmett- as shields to stop him from getting anywhere near me, but even though Carlisle refused to do it, he wanted him to knock me out with anaesthesia and abort Renesmee."

Charlie's eyes flashed. "Against your explicit consent?"

Bella bit her lip, nodding. "Yeah." She swallowed. "He also... I had a plan to survive the pregnancy, even though I was in danger." There was no denying it, but Bella quickly continued, "I asked Carlisle to change me because the venom healed Esme's injuries and Rosalie's- and Emmett's- when they were turned, just as it healed Edward's illness. I knew that it could save me, I just had to hang on long enough and since she grew so quickly, well, the pregnancy wouldn't have lasted long anyway. But that didn't matter to Edward because he had no plans to stand the baby's presence or even look at her after she was born until he was able to hear her thoughts and found that she didn't mean any harm." She shuddered involuntarily. "It was lucky that he did. Otherwise... I don't know what he or Jacob would've done to her."

Charlie stared. "Why did he hate her so much?"

Bella sighed. "For the most part, I think it was because the pregnancy was dangerous and it nearly killed me but now..." she paused, frowning. "I think it was just the most obvious reason why he hated her so much. I think he was projecting all his self-blame and hatred of himself onto Renesmee. She was half-vampire not fully human. Not the baby he'd always wanted."

"Edward wanted a baby?"

Bella bit her lip at the surprise in Charlie's voice. "Yeah, he wanted kids. The night before our wedding... he lamented that I would never have the chance to get pregnant or be a mother because vampires are infertile. Well, just the female ones as it turned out, but we didn't know it at the time. But I didn't really care about that. I told Edward if we ever felt like anything was missing, then we'll adopt, just like Carlisle and Esme. But actually, I didn't want a baby until I learned I was pregnant. I never told him but..."

Charlie's shoulders slumped. "You didn't want a baby after a lifetime of looking after Renée." He finished.

Bella swallowed, forcing herself not to wince. There was no denying it. Especially now that everything was revealed under broad daylight, even to her blind eyes. "Yeah. A kid would've needed me to do everything to look after it, just like Renée. Even though I refused to acknowledge it, even to myself, I saw that they were too clingy and needy, like Renée. I didn't like the thought of being stuck with one of them, and until I was expecting Renesmee I didn't want that."

"But Edward didn't know that." That was a statement not a question.

Bella shook her head. "No, he didn't." In hindsight, that was a bad sign: neither of them were open or honest with each other and they clearly never wanted the same things or had the same vision for what kind of life they each wanted with the other before they even got married. Nor were they willing to share or compromise with each other and what they both wanted. Edward was always going to insist on doing things his way, to the point where he made plans and forged her signature for her application to get into Dartmouth and made arrangements for an abortion without even asking for her consent or opinions.

Meanwhile, Bella was always going to have to sneak behind his back and hide behind other people, like Esme and Rosalie during her pregnancy, if she ever thought to get what she wanted and to stop Edward from making all these plans that she didn't want in case he nearly screwed up the way he did if he had succeeded in forcing an abortion on her or when he had dumped her in the woods. The two of them would've never been able to cooperate in order to live together harmoniously for long, and she was never under any illusions about the kind of life she would have if she stayed with Edward, with him controlling everything, hence the reason why she sought Rosalie's help. Bella was just stupid and naïve enough to believe that she could just roll with it and it would all turn out well in the end.

Not that Bella had any plans for her life apart from becoming a high school teacher, a job she didn't actually want. She truly had taken all her good luck for granted.

"So what was Edward planning to do, give the baby up for adoption?" Charlie's voice held doubt but then became steely. "I think the adoption agencies would notice something strange about a half-vampire baby. Was he planning to give it to his parents? Or any of his siblings? Rosalie and Emmett seem to be a good choice." His voice was calm but his suspicion was growing. He suspected what Edward was planning to do once the baby was born, but he needed confirmation from her.

Bella bit her lip. "I think he considered it, initially, but his hatred and self-blame grew so much and my pregnancy got more dangerous as it progressed, so he was targeting all his frustrations, self-blame and everything towards the baby until it got so much he was considering giving her to the Wolves as a peace offering." Charlie froze. "He knew that the Wolves were afraid since my pregnancy was so dangerous and she grew too quickly, and we'd just had an invasion of newborn vampires." Charlie's eyes darkened at the reminder that a bloodthirsty vampire had targeted his only daughter and created an army of vampires just to get to her without him knowing. "So he thought to offer them peace by allowing them to..." Bella swallowed hard. "To do what they needed to ensure that no human would get hurt and to leave the Cullens, including me, in peace."

Charlie stared. "He was willing to go that far?" Bella took an involuntarily step back and flinched at the sheer amount of loathing in his voice.

She bit her lip. "He never got as far as approaching any of the Wolves, even Jacob, with the idea. I think he knew that Sue and Billy and Old Quil would've never accepted it, and even Sam would've been horrified and back out at what Edward was proposing them to do. Especially if it was to his own child. But he considered it." Out of the Wolves only Jacob would've seriously considered or been tempted by the idea instead of being repulsed.

Bella remembered the memory that Lady Laima had showed her and Edwards thoughts on the matter which she'd had Gabrielle extract from inside of his mind. Once again, she could only marvel at the mutual lack of trust and honesty between them, and the compatibility and understanding that they sorely lacked before diving head-first into an eternal marriage, especially without knowing who the other was and what they wanted in life. Or why they even wanted to be together.

Bella realised that she had been using Edward, as much as Edward had been using her. She had also been using Jacob, and Jacob, in turn, had used Renesmee. Charlie was right: it truly was unhealthy in every single way.

To Bella, Edward seemed like the perfect knight in shining armour, her personal guardian angel. She had an idea, an image she had in her head of him, what he seemed like, and to her he seemed like the perfect fairytale. Ever since she met him, while Edward believed he belonged in a horror story, Bella continuously and constantly referred to him, even in her thoughts, and them both as being part of a fairytale. Neither of them really saw the other for who they truly were, Bella reflected.

And to her shame and eternal regret, Bella realised that while she certainly wanted to be a vampire in order to be with him- or rather, the idea she believed he was in her head- she had such a low sense of self-esteem and confidence, and being around him had made her hate herself even more that she sought him to give her vampirism as a means to change herself into someone beautiful, graceful, strong, fast, powerful and- after she learned he and his family weren't aging- eternally young. While she claimed that it was because she wanted to be together with him forever- which was true- she also knew that it was because she genuinely hated herself and her life which made her pressure and bug him and the other Cullens in order to turn her into one of them. And if that wasn't using somebody, she didn't know what was. It didn't matter if she also loved him, or she thought she loved him and genuinely wanted to be with him forever. Or whether she was genuinely suited for life as a vampire.

Charlie sighed, frowning. "So Edward felt guilty." He stated flatly. "That's the reason why he went so overboard with trying to protect and coddle her, to assure her that she was loved?" Bella swallowed, nodding.

"But he wanted a child." That wasn't a question either, Bella noted.

"Yeah, yeah he did."

"Did he ever know that you didn't want a child before you got pregnant?" Bella cringed, shaking her head.

"No... I never brought it up to him. I just told him that if we ever felt like we were lacking in any way, we could always adopt."

"But you knew that he wanted one." Again, that was a statement.

Bella sighed, nodding. "Yeah. Yeah I did."

"But you never stood up to him. You never thought that it was important to make things clear between the two of you, rather than hoarding all this baggage and bringing it into your marriage without the other one so much as knowing?" Bella looked down.

Charlie looked at her knowingly. "The two of you seemed to be living in entirely different worlds," he noted "even when you were crazy about each other. I know that you knew he was a vampire, but did the two of you really know each other?"

Bella shook her head, feeling numb. "No. I guess we didn't. Esme just told me that his birthday was on June twentieth 1901." Charlie was more astute than she or Edward ever gave him credit for.

Charlie snorted. "Wow, so he's sixty-three years older than me. No wonder he acted so condescending, like he knew everything and I didn't."

Bella's shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, Dad. I should've seen it sooner. I guess I was just so... blinded and utterly dazzled by Edward that I... I didn't see what he was doing: what he was saying or how he was behaving around you." Bella tried to swallow down her regret.

Charlie sighed. "Jake's birthday is on January fourteenth 1990. That was three days before you arrived at the Blacks' front door. I hoped you wished him a late happy sixteenth back then. And seventeenth right after the new year."

Bella's head dropped.

"Well, it's too late now," Charlie shook his head. "I wouldn't impose your presence- and your guilt- on him especially now that he no longer loves you the way he once did and he's no longer attached to Renesmee, unless he still wants to be with and plans to go after her, despite the fact that she doesn't want him to and the imprint's broken. Don't rub everything into his face, even just by trying to be there for him and trying to earn his forgiveness." Bella's teeth sunk hard into her lip. "He has a right to decide whether to forgive you or not, but only if he's allowed to process everything. And that includes letting his emotions run its regular course, even if it means hating or getting mad at you."

"I know." Bella whispered. "I owe him that at least."

Everyone in Forks, including Edward and Jacob, seemed to know when Bella's birthday was. "What did he do for his birthday?" Bella asked Charlie.

Charlie sighed. "He went out with his friends. I guess they were celebrating Wolf-style, huh? Renesmee said she went out with them."

"She did?" Bella blinked. "She never said anything."

Charlie looked at her knowingly. "Did the two of you even talk until now?" Bella winced and looked away.

"Jake said that he wanted to give me and Edward some space after all that happened with the Volturi, and asked to take Renesmee to La Push that evening." Bella said numbly, remembering. She straightened, eyes sharpening.

"Renesmee returned and went straight to her room. She was acting a little unhappy before then, but after that she became cranky and distant." Charlie hummed knowingly.

"Nes- Renesmee told me that somebody mentioned that Jake and she would be getting married someday and made a joke about it." Charlie shrugged but his eyes darkened. "And they were already talking about Sam and Emily, and the kind of life they would get with their 'soulmates'.

"Renesmee resented that they never asked her for her opinions or what she really wanted, especially since they expected her to move straight from the Cullens' house and into the Blacks' and they also seemed to expect her to go along with it. Jacob seemed happy and looked eager for it to happen, joking about the number of kids they would have, what kind of things they would do together once they were married, the kind of house and all without even asking for her opinion or whether she wanted to get married, or even the kind of wedding which she wanted. Renesmee told me that while she didn't want to leave you when the Volturi came and you came up with that backup plan to spirit her away to safety, she often thought about what would've happened if it had gone the way you and Alice both planned. The places she would go to. The kinds of lives that she would have lived. She suddenly realised that she wanted to see other places, explore. See what was beyond Forks outside of the movies and TV shows she saw, apart from Seattle and, rarely, Port Angeles. Or even the town, though she told me she wasn't allowed out that often." Charlie's brows furrowed as he frowned.

Bella looked away. "She's got dreams, that kid." Charlie stated approvingly. "Just like any other. It would be a shame to deprive her of that chance."

"I know," Bella whispered. "And I don't mean to." Not now, not ever, she promised herself.

Charlie narrowed his eyes, trying to see any hint of either lying, hesitation or doubt, or any chance of Bella changing her mind. "Good." Charlie said after a while. His shoulders relaxed.

"She also says she wants to change her name from being Renée's namesake." Charlie stated, causing Bella's head to shoot towards his direction. "Esme is fine, great in fact, but Renée... She says she has no intention of even meeting her, even if Renée knew and could handle the truth. She doesn't want to risk the chance. Nor does she want to establish a relationship with the woman who turned you- her own child- into a slave and drove you into Edward's arms and Jacob's and, indirectly, ended her in the same place." Bella's eyes stung.

She remembered the vision Lady Laima had shown her, of an alternative future where Renesmee had been fully human, with a father whom she could respect and trust, and was able to shake Jacob's hand without either of them being trapped in something they neither asked for nor fully understood. How close she had been with Renée in Bella's vision of the future that now would never come to pass. The future which Bella had unknowingly discarded and thrown away like garbage. While she had the excuse of not having Alice's foresight, Bella realised that the clues had been there all the same. Charlie was right: she and Edward truly were living in different worlds, as evidenced by the fact that Edward had wanted kids but she didn't and she never even told him, fully expecting everything to turn itself out in the end. Or Edward ignoring the fact that after breaking her heart once the year before, aborting her baby without Bella's consent would've made her even worse than she was back then, especially since he knew what happened to Esme and what his own mother was driven to sacrifice her chances of surviving for his sake. He simply thought that a replacement baby, conceived out of Jacob's sperm, would've made things easier for her- and Jacob, Bella noted. Along with the Wolves. Bella thought grimly that Edward must have known they wouldn't have taken the news of this pregnancy well and consider the baby a threat, even if it meant attacking the Cullens. Belatedly, Bella realised how dumb she must have been to not to have seen this, obvious as it was. But Edward knew, and now that Bella knew what vampire brains were capable of, she knew he certainly must have suspected they would've been upset. Which made the betrayal of Edward considering to toss their newborn child as a peace offering for the Wolves to tear apart seem even worse.

It was unforgivable. But neither of them saw eye to eye to begin with. She'd been so blind she didn't see him for who he was and he for her. They didn't have any understanding, respect or compatibility on either part, much less mutually. They lived entirely different worlds and saw each other as a fantasy, not a real person. How could she have ever thought they could live happily ever after forever?

Bella realised too late that understanding and respect was not to be underestimated or overlooked, even in favour of love.

"Renée may never fully understand the extent of the damage she caused, especially since she doesn't even know that her grandchild exists and you never planned on telling her-" yet again, Bell winced. "-but whether or not any of us, including Renesmee, forgives her or she finds out is irrelevant. Renée still has to become a better person. Even if she never meets Renesmee or sees you again, she owes it to both of you to become this and never to forget the lesson she's learned."

Charlie looked at Bella thoughtfully. "Are you angry with her? Do you want to forgive her?"

Bella didn't know what to think or even to begin sorting out her feelings.

"Do you?" she asked instead.

Charlie sighed. "Part of me feels like she deserves to be punished by me never forgiving her. Hell, I even considered suing her at one point, but I remembered that she's likely not earning much money, even if she is employed, and she's depending on Phil who had the guts to stand up to her for your sake along with his when no one else did. And as much as Phil wishes to cut ties with her and probably regrets ever meeting or getting involved with Renée, he still cares about her. That doesn't mean he's going to get back together with her," Charlie warned hastily, seeing the look on Bella's face. "He's made his feelings perfectly clear and he doesn't trust her. Heck, I don't even think Renée trusts herself not to use him- or you. And he's afraid, even if he can trust and build some sort of compatible friendly or familial relationship with her, that not only will she not accept his wishes but she'll fall back into her old habits and manipulate him into doing what she wants him to do, when she could just as easily do it herself. Even if she doesn't mean to do it. 'Cause after all these years, she's now hardwired for that sort of manipulation and helplessness. Phil called it weaponised helplessness or incompetence. That's bad for both of them. And for you. They can't live together, Bella. This is Phil being wise. Besides, he said they were never meant to last, anyway."

Bella could hear the admiration and respect for Phil in Charlie's voice. She knew that Charlie- and Phil- were both right, but it was a bitter pill for her to swallow.

"And at the end of the day, she's always going to be your mother. She may have damaged you, in fact, she may have emotionally and mentally harmed you, even if you don't know or refuse to acknowledge it and she didn't mean to, but she is still your mother and she genuinely loves you." Charlie sighed. "And you feel the same way about her. Renée's not going to get any more grandkids from you other than Renesmee, or whatever she wants to be called after this, and as far as she's aware, if she does find out you're not planning to adopt and that you can't have any kids for whatever reason, then she's never going to be a grandmother. I think she'll feel sad about that, even though she wouldn't have wanted to be a grandma now or when you first got married, but she loves kids and not being able to be surrounded by her own grandchildren at some point..." Charlie frowned.

"She can barely take care of herself and now her second marriage is ending, so she can't even think about adopting or having IVF or anything to conceive another child. If she manages to find someone else and make things work with them, and hopefully she will, Renée will at least think things through the next time. And not only has she never been introduced to Renesmee but she will never have the chance to even meet or have a relationship with her now. That's the biggest loss, more than anything. And she will never even know." Renée would be thirty-nine this year, too old without risking complications if she ever tried to conceive again naturally especially since she was no longer in a stable relationship and unable to take care of a child, or wouldn't be for a number of years, especially since she regressed even more without her mother and Bella. Yet she still loved children and they loved her too.

The word guilt couldn't begin to even describe what Bella felt now. She understood perfectly: both Renée and Charlie were destined to spend their final days in a care home for elderly people, falling deeper into dementia or Alzheimer's on their own since Bella could hardly bring either of them into her world. But unlike with Charlie, neither did she have a way of covering up her vampire state to Renée, so the latter would never know the joy of having her grandchildren or great-grandchildren playing at her feet. Or the knowledge that her son-in-law and only daughter were happy and looked after and would be there for each other long after she was gone. Bella would at least have to tell her the truth that her and Edward's marriage had now ended, even if Renée was never made aware that she had a granddaughter. Rosalie's confession about how she wished Emmett and she could've ended their lives as humans while confiding to Bella the story of her life now surfaced into the forefront of Bella's mind. Not for the first time this past month, Bella admitted that Rosalie may have had a point.

What was going to happen to them now? Renée who would've wanted that life, that ending, with someone, probably Phil, grey-haired and sitting by the porch or in front of a fireplace by her side with grandchildren at her feet, would never see it come to pass. Phil might have a chance, hell, he could probably even welcome her as part of the family if he ever remarried and had kids with someone else and she might even become a great 'aunt', but for Renée... that future was gone. Maybe not for Charlie, who had Sue, Seth and Leah, and Billy and his daughters besides, even if Jacob never came home, but Renée? While Bella knew her mother certainly had no trouble making friends, they weren't exactly as close and tight-knit as the Quileute tribal elders and their kids were to Charlie. None of their kids had ever been close to Bella or even Renée, as sunny, sociable and outgoing as she was. In fact, Bella barely even remembered any of their names and she didn't for most of them. And her scatterbrained mother seemed to lose or forget all reminders to stay in contact with her old friends once she moved, first to Riverside and then to Phoenix, and finally Jacksonville. At least Phil was still willing to care about her even in a more distant manner. But it would probably likely hurt her mother to see him move on and be happy without her, with another person by his side and all their children and grandchildren who were not hers, and Bella not being in the picture with a single child. It certainly didn't help Jacob when Bella forced him to stick around her.

Bella remembered the brood of grandchildren she would've had from her daughter in the future she could've chosen. Renée probably lived long enough to see Renesmee have her own children in the future that now would never be, despite Bella being older than she was in this future when she had her daughter, as well as playing an active role in Renesmee's upbringing. In another life, Bella knew that Renesmee would have been as close to Renée as Bella was with Gran and now she would never be. But now what?

Charlie's unanswered question rang inside her head: Was it all worth it in the end?

"I know I was selfish and I didn't think," Bella whispered brokenly. "The truth is... I didn't even think about how to tell you guys or explain how or why I was so different. Or that I had a daughter now. I never planned on telling you."

Her vision blurred and her eyes stung. Even though she no longer could produce any tears, Bella sniffed brokenly. Sobs wracked her. She couldn't meet her father's eyes. Now knowing and being fully made aware of the kind of future she had willingly agreed to consign to Renée and Charlie both, and her ridiculously irresponsible oversight on how her decisions could've impacted the both of them, once again she was blown away at her own selfishness and stupidity. She didn't even think about this any more than she had made any plans to explain to her parents or force them to endure her exiting both their lives while assuming that everything was okay and would work itself out in the end. It may have, to an extent, Bella could imagine if she had been less lucky, but at what cost?

Charlie shook his head and placed his hands on Bella's shoulders. "Kid, you are not responsible for what happens to or goes on in either Renée's life or mine. We both made our choices and while we certainly don't regret having you, we regret not giving you the happy childhood and family that you deserved, or the emotional nurturing that you needed to grow into a healthy and happy adult. And if we could go back in time..." Charlie sighed, trailing off.

"We love you. No matter what we did or failed to do we both want you to be happy. And I want Renesmee to be happy. And if Renée knows that she exists she would also want her to live a happy life and to have the childhood she deprived you of, even though she was probably deprived of that herself." Charlie sighed. "As she told me."

That was news to her. "What?"

Charlie frowned. "You never knew that your maternal grandparents divorced when Renée was still a kid?" Bella stared.

"No." She admitted. "I just assumed... that Gramps died or something before I was born. That maybe that's why Gran was so bitter, because she missed him."

Charlie shook her head. "Nah, your mother told me that she was bitter 'cause she didn't trust anybody after she wasted years of her life with that man only for him to walk out with the bare minimum of child and spousal support and contact with your mother while she was growing up, while Marie was mostly left to make ends meet for both of them." Bella was stunned. "Did you assume she missed him?"

Bella didn't answer. She was still trying to absorb the fact that her grandmother too had been divorced, and by the sounds of it not long after she had a child. Vaguely, she remembered the dream, or rather, the nightmare she'd had on the night before her eighteenth birthday: the one where she saw Gran and it turned out to be a reflection of herself as an old woman. It sounded so stupid now just thinking about it, but she remembered, before discovering that the image of Gran was her own reflection, that she wanted to greet and ask her grandmother whether she had finally found Gramps wherever they were now.

She probably never even looked for him if there was an afterlife with them both. She might've even avoided him if she didn't confront him. Bella certainly would've.

"So Mom never had a father figure?" Bella found herself saying. Charlie shook his head. "He was there for some parts of her life, although not as frequently as was expected and barely paid any attention to her at all, which was why she never tried to fight me spending more time with you every summer since it affected her so much, even though she insisted on having full custody of you. She also jumped into marriage after a whirlwind romance with me- and later Phil, apparently- precisely for the same reasons I suspect you had for latching onto and being afraid to let go of Edward. Although it affected her differently than it did you since your gran was not only responsible, she was very grounded and hardworking even though she was also a bitter, pessimistic woman and neglected to nurture and support her daughter emotionally the way she needed. Renée's reaction to that was to seek distractions and happiness outside the family home and away from her bitter mother, which was why she first withdrew from the real world and the immediate tasks and lessons that needed to be done or learned, and then looked to other people and the world around her for whatever happiness she could find, moving out the first chance she got." He looked thoughtful. "But her seeking distractions and being tired of her mother's endless pessimism and bitterness made her discard the lessons her mother was trying to warn her while she was so busy trying to find the happy ending she always craved and desperately needed her entire life." Charlie sighed.

"Your gran seems to have had a better relationship with you than with her own daughter, just as I have a better relationship with Renesmee than she did with her parents, or maybe just her dad now." He sighed again. "It's not too late to salvage things, Bella. And to make it better than it once was."

Bella looked down miserably. "What if I can't?" Her throat seemed to close up. "I jumped into motherhood and marriage without knowing or being prepared for what I was getting myself into... My marriage is practically dead and before that I fell into Edward's trap and he used that to manipulate me into emotionally and mentally abusing her alongside him and Jacob-" her voice broke.

"What if I can't?" She repeated brokenly. "What if I can't be the mother that she deserves? What if I'm just like Renée? Or Gran?"

Charlie didn't reprimand her for calling Renée by her given name. Although his eyes sparked grimly but knowingly whenever he noted that she called her grandmother 'Gran' and her mother 'Renée'.

"I was blind," Bella whispered. "So blind and... and stupid. I-" Charlie cut her off.

"Yes, you were." He agreed. "But that's 'cause you were a teenager, Bella. Just because you were forced to mature and grew up way too early didn't mean that you were an adult mentally and emotionally, in every sense of the word." If she were human Bella would've flushed in embarrassment now knowing and being unable to refute the fact that it was true.

"I can't point out a lot of teenagers who were peer-pressured or coerced, or even just sweet-talked into doing things they weren't ready for and had no understanding of what they were getting themselves into," Charlie pointed. "Including me. Most of them just didn't get pressured or sweet-talked into getting married by their boyfriends but they were coerced into doing other things that often ended in teenage parenthood and subsequent adoption or jail. And the fact that you were smart enough to take precautions by going to Rosalie and Esme for help to protect you and your unborn child when you learned that you were pregnant, even if you never had the guts to stand up to Wardo-" he scoffed "-means that while you did plenty of stupid things you weren't entirely blind or ignorant to the kind of person Edward was and what he was capable of." Bella looked down.

"Regardless of whether your plan had a gaping hole a mile wide and you didn't think things through on whether or not you could keep this baby and raise it in a safe and happy place alongside a lousy excuse of a father who might've never changed his mind about hating and wanting her dead if she hadn't been as lucky to have her thoughts exposed to him-" Bella winced both in pain and the memory of her own stupidity which she had also been forced to confront "-you proved that in the end, you were willing to stand up for your daughter's sake, just as you're doing now by ensuring that you cut ties with Edward and taking precautions not to fall back under his spell." Charlie frowned. "Pun unintended. It's not much, and it might've been too little but for now you got lucky 'cause it's not too late. That means you've still got hope, Bells. There's still a chance that you can become a better parent to Renesmee." Bella was silent.

"And the truth is, I don't think anyone else would've reacted differently to Edward or Jacob, considering their good looks and charm. Well, maybe they would have chosen Jacob instead of Edward, or another vampire or Wolf including one of Wardo's siblings or that Paul Lahote. But even then I doubt they would've treated either of them better or been able to stand their ground and stand up to them without falling into temptation. Maybe if they were a bit older and became fully aware that what both of them did and what you were doing was wrong, but not when they were in high school. Not the other kids at your age group."

"As for failing as a parent, Bells, all parents fail their kids not just me and Renée with you, or your Gran and Gramps with your mother." Charlie pointed. "It's unavoidable just as it is unavoidable to be an imperfect person, whether they're human or not, having flaws and virtues. You can't choose to become a perfect person or a perfect parent, but you can choose to do better after you've made mistakes and to be the best version of yourself that you can, regardless of what you look like or what you can or cannot do."

Bella squeezed her eyes shut. "Renesmee deserves to be happy," she finally said. "I owe it to her."

Charlie gave her a look. "I think you owe it to yourself too."

While this was going on, Quil, Seth and Embry sat side by side at the Cullens' porch- or what used to be the Cullens' porch. The Cullens had long since packed up and left. Even though they hadn't been gone for long and the house wasn't completely devoid of their belongings, like furniture, the scent, the feeling in the air, the ambience which spoke of emptiness, all displayed signs that the Cullens were gone and were unlikely to be coming back any time soon, if ever.

Embry didn't know how to feel about that. On the one hand, the Cullens- and Bella- had been directly and indirectly responsible for a hell of a lot of pain and trouble, especially in regards with Jake. On the other hand, Embry knew that if these things weren't bound to have happened with or without them in the picture, Jacob was equally to blame, especially in regards to the pain he'd also caused Bella and Renesmee and for pursuing them both. In a strange way, in spite of the initial distrust and revulsion, Embry had grown to respect the Cullens as their allies, especially since they had the moral guts not to feed on humans even though it must have been very hard for them not to do, and now he had no reason to despise or mistrust them, especially since vampires were no longer permitted to feed on humans and they were taking magical steps to make sure it wouldn't happen. After seeing the few displays of magic this past month, Embry had no doubt that it was effective. The vampires wouldn't be harming anybody ever again unless they wanted to pay the price.

Embry felt a knot of guilt towards Renesmee, for accepting Jacob's imprinting far too easily and believing that it had solved all his problems, even if he hadn't known it was that serious. It hadn't. Embry couldn't begin to imagine what she went through and he could only hope that she would heal and somehow have a happy life after all this.

It was Seth who broke the silence of that early morning.

"I don't know what's going to happen to him." He said quietly. His shoulders slumped. They all knew who he was referring to.

"There's a chance." Quil suggested quietly.

"He's not you, Quil." Quil seemed to hesitate. He cast a brief glance towards the upper level where behind one of the windows Jacob surely lay.

"I don't regret my choice." Quil said softly, and as he turned back around, the other two could see it as clear as day. "Jacob will find someone better for him out there, someone who could be the one and only person to make things work with him, but only if he's willing to let go and make things work."

Seth shook his head. "This should've never happened. It messed him up- not just the imprint, that was a symptom, but getting involved with Bella, Bella getting involved with Edward..." He shook his head again.

Embry sighed. "A lot of things should've or shouldn't have happened. And I suppose it's time to tell my mom the truth." The other two turned and stared at him.

"What?"

"Are you serious?" Seth questioned in disbelief. Embry slowly nodded, determination within his gaze.

"Yeah. I need to ask her some questions too, like my dad."

Seth opened his mouth, ready to protest, but thought better about it.

"You sure?" Quil asked, worriedly. "What if-" Embry shook his head.

"I already know I'm not going to like whatever she says but I need to know the truth." He insisted. "It's not about him- whether he's Joshua Uley or someone else. It's about me. Finding out where I'm from, learning from his mistakes, hers and mine, and then moving on and healing. I've avoided this for years, guys," he stressed "and I can't exactly go up to Sam and ask him whether his father really is my dad, and I certainly can't knock on Mrs Uley's door and ask her too." He winced at the thought. "Neither of them are speaking to the other, anyway. But I have to know.

"Before I move on, I would like to get rid of the one thing that's holding me back."

Silence reigned as neither of the two spoke. Embry stared out into the distance. "It's time we all move on. If you could do it," his face softened as he looked at Quil. "Why not the rest of us."

Seth nodded. "You were brave, Quil. That was the bravest thing I ever saw anybody do."

"I don't know," Quil sighed. "I just hope it's not too late."

---

A semi-canon source states that Marie Higginbotham, Bella's grandmother and Renée's mother, was divorced from her husband when Renée was still a child. Yet Bella in New Moon after seeing the reflection of her dream-self and thinking that it was Marie in the afterlife, wanted to ask her grandmother whether she found 'Gramps' wherever she was now. This indicates that Bella didn't even know that her grandparents had divorced and Renée had grown up in a broken home, also having an unhappy childhood and derailed emotional and mental development.

As much as I prefer to stick to Twilight and Harry Potter canon as much as I could with this fic, a semi-canon source, probably written by Stephenie Meyer, states that vampires don't have mental illness. Maybe not to the extent that they needed hospitalisation, but you can't deny that many of them have issues, not just Edward. Being frozen in the emotional and mental state that you had when you were bitten, after enduring excruciating agony that makes a person wish for death for three whole days, and then never sleeping after being compelled to feed on human blood and endure the losses of your loved ones and the changing of the entire world for centuries or millennia, kind of guarantees that you're going to have issues. The trauma of enduring that as a toddler or a very young adolescent, and then realising what you have become kind of adds to that.

Anonymous Wandmaker: Phil seems like a great guy and Renée like she has some mental health issues that she needs to sort out, even if it's too late for her to be a good mother to Bella during the formative years of her development. She gets a lot of hate, and I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it, but after seeing her backstory in the semi-canon source, I have to admit Renée's been ruined by her own parents, just as Bella was ruined by her and Charlie.

Damon and Stefan did not fall as spectacularly from grace as Edward did, but karma bit them back pretty hard and they had to learn a tough lesson, yet both came out better for it. Caroline and Elena are both happy and unharmed. Klaus is more restrained thanks to having an actual mother figure whom he not only loves but trusts and respects. Esther and Mikael are both dead, indirectly because of Lady Laima and her protecting the Mikaelsons, same as Dahlia, who really didn't stand a chance when standing against the Vampire Queen. Freya is back with her siblings and very happy, even if we haven't seen her yet. Klaus is fully aware of the necessity to hide his Wolf side from Viktor but there's an end goal here, and it's getting rid of Viktor and his followers. Viktor's daughter Sonja died differently here than she did in their canon (she was burned alive the same way as the Volturi were here) thanks to Lady Laima's abilities of foresight, but he was still responsible for her death when she was pregnant and managed to cover it up and convince everyone to have some sympathy for him, even his enemies. But he doesn't know that Lady Laima and Markus knows and they're planning to use it against him, especially since it kickstarted another war between vampires and lycanthrope werewolves.

There's basically a lot of backstabbing and scheming and politics going on. The Corvinus clan may have understood the necessity of keeping William imprisoned, but they haven't forgiven Viktor for his suffering, especially Markus. And they knew Viktor sure as hell did not trust them and viewed their twins as a threat to his power since their parents could have simply dethroned and replaced him and Amelia with them (a paranoia which could have been solved if Sonja and Radu simply got together and married the way David and Ruxandra did, but they each had their own minds). This means that Radu is living on borrowed time, along with his twin and David, especially after the two of them got married and Radu did stand up to Viktor once. Whether it's Viktor or one of his followers, someone is going to try to off him, his sister and his brother-in-law, and if they find out he's been seeing Gabrielle behind everyone's backs, it's going to happen even faster since she's a Veela and a witch. It's vital that they remove Viktor and his supporters but it comes with its own problems of a power vacuum and a civil war if either any of the Corvinus clan or Viktor gets hurt.

This fic is practically setting things up for a much bigger stage. The Twilight universe, as evidenced by their world-building being admittedly lacking in comparison to other fictions, is just a very small part of it but we'll be seeing things through their eyes first before moving onto other people. Meanwhile the Potterverse plays an even bigger role in the wider supernatural world but doesn't feature overly much here apart from being a catalyst. There will be more later on.