Out Of The Past
Part VII - Looking For Answers
6/2/2024 - Words: 12,183 Chapters: 7/? Kudos: 6 Hits: 140
Leaving the Night Car more than a little shaken by Audrey's last words to him, Layton retreated to his favorite place when he needed to think.
The council chamber.
He had thought the worst act he would ever commit on the train was having to separate one car, leaving other passengers; friends, comrades, and enemies alike, to freeze to death.
But that decision hadn't been solely his. And he had learned a devastating lesson from it. The very lesson Melanie had set out to teach him. He had learned that day what it was going to take to truly lead Snowpiercer.
He swore to himself he would never commit such an act again. Taking another life wasn't worth the price. Even when balanced out against every other person on this train. But as his time as leader of the train moved forward, he began to realize how very wrong he was to think such a thing.
He had believed at the very least that that one secret was safe, having died with the man who had helped him. As much as he despised himself for the act, he slept at night secure in the fact no one else knew of it.
He had been wrong again.
He gave a small sigh as he laid his head on his arms on the table in front of him.
A small chuckle escaped him as he sat thinking about it. In order to sit in judgment of another person you had to be considered a 'peer'. Well, he certainly qualified on that account. They were both murderers. Perfectly fitted to judge each other.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there like that, a single thought chasing itself around on his head when the door to the council room opened.
The new occupant had a single question for the train's Chancellor as he positioned himself next to him at the table.
"Where is she!?"
Layton gave a deep sigh without raising his head. "Come in?" He stated to the second-engineer.
But Bennett wasn't interested in formalities or manners as he grabbed Layton by the back of the collar and yanked him up in the chair.
"Where? Is? She!?" He demanded again.
Layton wiped his hands over his face before turning to the man. He was going to go for a straight out denial just to get the man to leave him in peace when a something else crowded into his thoughts.
Apparently he had been wrong about something else.
"You don't know?" Layton asked, his expression echoing his question.
Bennett returned the look as he took a step back. "No."
Layton rubbed his hands over his face again. For the past 36 hours, he had assumed Melanie was in the engine, since things were running smoothly. And if he was certain of one thing in all this chaos, it was that she would not abandon her beloved engine.
Bennett stared the man down. "What's going on?" He asked.
Layton shook his head. "I'm not sure." He replied honestly.
Bennett crossed his arms in front of him, a none to pleased look on his face. He only knew one reason things went off the rails this badly.
"You two are fighting again?"
Layton got up from the table, shaking his head slowly. "It's not...a fight." He replied.
"Then what is it?" The second engineer asked. "Melanie doesn't just up and disappear for no reason, Layton. She doesn't run."
Layton stared at the wall of the room for several seconds before answering the man. "She did this time." He answered in a low tone.
He suddenly found himself yanked out of his thoughts when Bennett grabbed his arm and pulled him around sharply to face him.
"What. Happened!?"
Layton met the man's stare. Both the anger and concern etched in it.
"It's...a private matter." He answered vaguely.
A finger was suddenly pressed to his face. "I swear, if you hurt..."
"I didn't hurt her." Layton quickly answered, pulling away from the man. The last thing he needed right now was problems with the train's second engineer. "Melanie...I think she just needs some time to herself."
"Without telling anyone? Without telling ME!?" Bennett was back in the man's face again. "Melanie is not some...irresponsible cut-rate engineer, Layton. She knows her value on this train. She would never just disappear without telling SOMEONE! And yet here you stand telling me she just...took a vacation? She didn't even notify anyone about not showing up for her shift! That is TOTALLY out of character for her."
Layton could see the man's agitation growing again with each word.
"Bennett, I...I honestly don't know where she is. We...yes, we had a disagreement of sorts. That was the last time I saw her."
"When was that!" He quickly asked.
"About 36 hours ago."
Bennett pulled back slightly, the concern in his expression building even more. "Two days." He whispered. "She's been missing almost two days? What have you been doing to find her?"
Layton fell silent under the man's assessing stare. He swore one of the reasons Melanie and Bennett ever found each other was that their minds worked on the same system of pure logic. Standing there he could literally feel the man reading every small piece of information he could ascertain from him. From his words to his tone of voice to how he simply held himself.
"Nothing." Came the finally conclusion. "You haven't even been looking for her."
"I didn't know she was missing." Layton quickly defended himself. "Until now I thought she was doing what she always does. Hiding in the engine."
Bennett shook his head slowly. "No one has seen or heard from her since you last did."
Layton gave a tired sigh. "I can have Roche organize search parties..."
"For what?" Bennett quickly cut him off. "If Melanie doesn't want to be found, she won't be found. And what if she isn't just missing? What if...what if she's hurt?"
Layton shook his head. "There are call stations all over the train where someone can summon help. Now, she's not hurt or lost or anything else. She's upset. She just needs some time to herself and I think giving that to her is the best thing we can do."
Bennett returned a dismal look at the suggestion. "What choice do we have?" He asked before turning and leaving the room.
Layton hung his head as he listened to the door to the council chamber close.
He already knew the answer.
Layton decided to spend the night sleeping in the council chamber. It wasn't as comfortable as his bed in the Night Car, but this one at least didn't come with any of Ms. Audrey's long, knowing stares.
The next morning he took a long sniff of his clothing and decided a shower was definitely in order. His choices were to go back to the cabin or use the community shower in the Night Car. Neither was very appealing, but since Audrey had moved at least some of his clothes to his room in the Night Car, he decided that was the most viable option. And since it was early, the chances he would run into the Night Car manager were significantly decreased.
Once cleaned up, he decided he needed to tend to his own business to some degree. And it was a good divergence from wondering where his roommate was.
Since his meeting with Bennett he found his feelings verging between being angry at her and being genuinely worried about where she was. A feeling that would quickly give way to his becoming angry at himself for even caring, and then the cycle would simply repeat. Something that kept his thoughts more focused on his feelings than on any work he was trying to do. And so late in the afternoon he simply abandon any lie he was telling himself that he was doing anything productive and decided to retreat to his room in the Night Car. At least there he didn't have to try to feign listening to some problem someone was trying to explain to him.
But as he left the council chambers and began to head to the subtrain station, he found his feet taking him on another path.
A more familiar one.
Several times he stopped, wondering if this was a wise decision. But for every stop, he started walking again, until he found himself standing in front of their cabin door.
He was just checking in, he told himself. Others were worried. A quick, non-committed conversation and he would leave again with the gift to himself of a good night's sleep for having fulfilled some contractual obligation of common decency.
He knocked loudly, not wanting to just barge in on her. But he didn't say who it was in case that would lead to her not opening the door.
He stood there for a good five minutes, debating what to do after knocking several more times. But finally he made his decision as he entered the code to the door and shored himself up to meet whatever was on the other side as it slid open.
Utter silence greeted him.
Layton found he literally had to force himself to step over the threshold before the door closed in his face.
For several seconds he stood in the doorway, simply listening to the silence surround him. The bedroom door was closed, so he reasoned she could be sleeping, as he seemed to spend most of the last two days doing.
"Melanie?" He finally called out. Just to let her know he was there.
No answer.
He dared to walk further into the cabin until he was right in front of the bedroom door.
He knocked loudly.
"Melanie!" He called out again. Louder this time.
Still no answer. And no sounds from beyond the door to signal anyone was in the room.
"Melanie." He called out again after a few minutes. "I just came to check on you. Everyone in the engine room is concerned. If you just tell me you're all right, that's all I need to hear."
Still no answer. And no sound.
Layton gave a deep sigh as he stared at the door. Knowing what came next.
"Melanie. Tell me you're all right, or I'm coming in."
He waited what he felt was more than a reasonable amount of time, then opened the door.
The room was dark, and as cold as he could ever remember it being.
And empty.
Knowing now she wasn't in the cabin, Layton began looking around to try and sort out when was the last time she had been in the cabin. But the first thing he noted had nothing to do with when she was last there, but more likely her state of mind when she was.
Inside the bedroom was a rumbled, disorderly bed. He swore it was in exactly the same condition as the last time either one of them had gotten out of it.
What concerned him was that that was it's condition.
Melanie had her quirks, to be sure. But she was absolutely tyrannical about the bed being made each morning. She told him it was simply the way things had been with her since she was a child. Her parents liked an ordered house, an making one's bed each morning was simply a habit she had carried over from her childhood.
Turning around, he next walked into the bathroom. It smelled faintly of the soap she liked to use. One she bought at a small vendor stand in the Market, and regularly threatened him if she ever caught him using it. A small smile formed as he remembered her once, suspicious he had used it just to irritate her, had given him a long, close quartered sniff as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom. But he had always emphatically denied touching it, stating he would not be caught dead in a counsel meeting smelling like she always did, as that he usually had enough explaining to do to nosey people about their relationship.
The smile remained as he remembered her once telling him she would be gone two straight days to do some engine maintenance with Bennett and Javier. Seeing his opportunity clearly before him, she was barely out the door before he was in the shower, lathering up with the sweet scented soap.
While she never knew to his knowledge, it had given him two new problems.
One, he knew he was likely never going to be able to use the soap again without her knowing it.
And second, that one time and he was hooked. The soap was a combination of cleaning, conditioning, and softening ingredients that left his skin crying out for more. And he couldn't even reason out how to just get himself some of the soap from the vendor who sold it, since for one, Melanie would wonder why he was suddenly so attached to it, and two, how he even knew about it's special properties.
So he had resigned himself to simply having to forlornly stare at it sitting in its personal soap dish in the shower, never to feel it's softening, aromatic lather again.
Well, she had warned him.
Pulling himself out of the memory, Layton continued to search the cabin for any signs of the last time she had been there. But like him, everything seemed to indicate she had not been in the cabin since that night. The sink in the kitchen was dry with no dishes in it. There was no smell of food having been prepared. All of her clothes were still in her armoire and all of her things were still in the cabin. So she hadn't left. She still thought of this as 'home'.
Sighing to himself, he started to leave, thinking he would go back to the Night Car and see if Audrey had any ideas. But as he started for the door, he passed by the table.
He stopped short, feeling like the memory had reached out suddenly and stopped him in his tracks.
As clearly as that fateful night, he could see the two of them sitting there. Hear her pouring out her story in bits and pieces as she fought to get through it.
All the other memories were quickly pushed aside as he stood there, the anger beginning to build again. Feeling frozen for several seconds, Layton suddenly turned and forced himself to get to the main door and out of the cabin. He did not want to relive that memory ever again.
Thankfully the cabin was situated near a subtrain station, and within just moments he was in a car and headed back to the Night Car.