I led Dimitri from the kitchen and over to where the cake was. I saw Lissa's eyes track down to where we were still holding hands, and I knew Dimitri's family had noticed the same thing. I ignored their looks and handed Dimitri one of the glasses I had taken from the kitchen. We both perched on the chair behind the cake as we hovered the glasses above the cake. In unison, we pressed the glasses against the edge of the cake. They sank easily into the cake as we pressed them down.

"Ready?" I asked with a smile.

"As ready as I could be," he said, looking a bit overwhelmed.

I couldn't blame him. In the span of ten minutes, he had gone from learning I was pregnant with his baby to finding out the gender and being involved.

As one, we dragged the glasses away from the cake, taking the chunks that were in the glasses with it. I saw the blue peeking out as we did so, and I nearly dropped the cup again. I held up my glass, clearly showing the blue frosting from inside the cake.

"A boy," Dimitri whispered beside me as his family and Lissa exploded into cheers. Even Yeva was smiling.

"Finally!" Paul exclaimed.

I couldn't help but laugh. I looked over at Dimitri as I ate a small piece of the cake from my cup. I couldn't quite place the emotions I saw on his face as he looked at me. There almost seemed to be a hint of sadness and wistfulness in his gaze. I knew that my face showed everything. I was happy being surrounded by family, and part of me was happy Dimitri was there too, even if he didn't find out the way that I would have wanted him to. And underneath it all, I still loved him. No matter how much he hurt me in the past, I would always love him, and I didn't want to hide that. Maybe this would help us finally work past our issues. Maybe he would finally believe me when I told him I loved him. Something shifted in his face as he kept looking at me, but before I could question it, Lissa was pulling me into a hug. I looked away from Dimitri, throwing my arms around Lissa.

"I can't believe you're having a boy," she said, her eyes wet. "I still can't believe this is happening."

I laughed. "You better believe it. He's coming in five months and that'll fly by, I'm sure."

Karolina took the cake to the kitchen and cut it properly so we could all have a slice. Lissa sat down next to Oksana again, keen on continuing their conversation. Dimitri handed me a slice of cake, having followed Karolina into the kitchen.

"Let's go outside," he said.

I nodded and followed him into the backyard. The day had warmed up a bit with the sun shining, and I felt comfortable sitting outside in my thermal shirt, t-shirt, and sweats. Dimitri sat next to me on the bench, keeping some space between us. Suddenly, I remembered the scrapbook and stood up.

"I'll be right back," I said. I set my cake down where I was sitting and rushed back inside. I ran upstairs to my room and grabbed the scrapbook before running back down the stairs. I moved quickly, part of me scared that Dimitri would be gone when I got back downstairs, but he was sitting right where I left him. I handed him the scrapbook as I sat back down. "I started making one for the baby after my first ultrasound. I wanted to create something for him to have of me and to know me as his mother until I can truly be there for him. While I was debating which one to get, I decided to get both so I could make you one, too."

He flipped through the pages, running his fingers over the first ultrasound photo. I had included all of the ultrasounds, and nearly every bump picture that I had taken, even though the bump was nonexistent for most of the weeks so far. Each page represented a different week in my pregnancy, and I included references to the size of the baby for each week. The latest page filled out was for week sixteen, and there was an updated bump picture from yesterday. Everything I had read said that the baby was around the size of an avocado, and I had written that, including a small avocado sticker. There were margin notes on the pages about things I noticed each week as the pregnancy progressed, from symptoms I was experiencing to foods I was craving. I watched silently as Dimitri read over everything before he finally looked up at me. I could see the tears glistening in his eyes.

"Thank you for this," he said softly. "You didn't have to."

"Yes, I did," I said. "I wanted you to have something from the pregnancy. I promised your family I would tell you before I went back to Court. That was their requirement for agreeing to care for the baby once I left. The scrapbook was my way of practicing telling you."

"Are you going to keep updating it even though I know now?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'll finish it. I send Lissa the weekly updates as I put them in the books, and since I'm already making one for baby, it isn't that much extra work to copy the information over."

He was quiet for a moment. "Will you send them to me, too? The weekly updates?"

"Sure," I said.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, and then both tried to talk at the same time.

"I don't want to take up too much of your time," I said.

"I want to be there for you and the baby," Dimitri said. "If you'll let me."

I nodded. "I wouldn't keep you from him. I may have been keeping you from the pregnancy, but I wouldn't have been able to let him not know about his father, and I wouldn't have been able to let you not know about your son. Please don't hate me for leaving."

"I don't," he said. "I understand why you left. I treated you horribly."

I didn't say anything, but he didn't notice as he continued speaking.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away like that," he said. "I didn't know what I wanted, and all I could do was keep you at arm's length to keep from hurting you again. I can't say sorry enough for everything that happened in Russia."

"I've told you before," I said, "I don't blame you for Russia. I've forgiven you. It's in the past."

"How can you say that?"

"You weren't yourself. I don't blame you because that wasn't you. At least not the you that's sitting in front of me now."

He shook his head. "It's taken me months to even be able to look at myself and accept what happened, but it's like nothing changed for you."

I frowned. "No, a lot has changed, including you. Both things can be true."

He nodded slowly, partially understanding what I was saying. "I didn't think that I was worthy of your love. I didn't deserve it, so I pushed you away, and I lost you. In the time since you've been gone, I've come to terms with things a bit better. I'm sorry, Rose. I'm sorry I hurt you again. I thought it would be better for you if I wasn't around."

"I won't lie and say it was okay," I said. "Because it wasn't. I don't think Lissa had ever seen me cry more than she did after everything happened, especially after the church."

He winced, and I knew it was a low blow. A sadistic part of me wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me.

"I had only barely started believing I was capable of receiving and giving love again that day at the church," he said a moment later. "I'm still working on believing that. I have a therapist back at Court who has been helping. Our son will help with that, too. I already love him more than I thought was possible. I'll do better for him and be worthy of his love. I meant what I said. I want to be there for you, and for him, even though we're not together."

I winced internally. His words hit me hard, and I chastised myself for getting my hopes up that he'd want me again now that I was having his kid. I should have known better. He had given me all of the signs that he didn't want me anymore, yet I still allowed myself to hope. I stood, hiding the tears that had started to prick in my eyes.

"I should let you get inside. I know Lissa has to leave soon, which means that you probably do too, and your family deserves some time with you."

I just barely caught Dimitri's look of surprise before his guardian mask fell over his face. He stood as well, nodding. He walked past me without a word. I sat back down on the bench, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. I sat there, staring out at the field and trees behind the Belikova house. I rested my hands on my stomach, trying to settle myself, still holding back real tears.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I whispered sometime later. "He loves you; I know he does. And I love you, too. I wouldn't have chosen to become a mom this young, so you'll have to forgive me for everything I do wrong. I'm learning as I go. You're the best thing that's happened to me, even if I didn't see it at the beginning. I just can't do this alone."

"You're not alone," Lissa said from behind me.

I flinched, not having heard her come up. "How much did you hear?"

"Everything," she said as she sat next to me. "Why'd you send Dimitri back inside? Surely you couldn't have figured out everything that quickly."

I wiped my eyes, clearing my tears. "We cleared up everything that we needed to."

Lissa gave me a look. "I don't believe you."

"He apologized for hurting me and said he'd be better for our son," I said. "He wants to be worthy of his love."

Lissa's eyes narrowed, and I knew that she knew I wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Plus, he came here to see his family, and he's barely said two words to them. They need time with him," I said.

Lissa couldn't argue with that. "I wish I could stay."

"Me too," I said ruefully. "How's being queen? And Jill?"

"It's rough sometimes," she said. "But it's been more enjoyable than I thought it would be."

I noticed that she didn't answer about Jill, and I didn't push it. I knew she was still struggling to come to terms with Jill being her sister. She had always held her dad up to such a high standard and never would have imagined that he'd be unfaithful to her mom.

"It'll get better as you get used to it. Plus, I'll be back soon, and we both know how much fun it'll be then."

Lissa smiled, but a guardian came around the corner before she could say anything.

"It's time to leave, Your Majesty," the guardian said.

Lissa nodded and stood with a sigh. I stood as well, following her back into the house. Dimitri immediately noticed our reentry and stood.

"Is it time?" he asked.

Lissa nodded and turned to the Belikovas. "Thank you for hosting and for taking care of Rose," she said. "I have to go because, well, Court calls. I appreciate everything you've done."

"Thank you for coming," Karolina said. "We've been honored to host you."

I gave Lissa another hug and followed her to the door. Dimitri followed us as well, having already told his family goodbye. Even though he had driven out to Baia separately, he was going to fly back with Lissa for safety purposes.

I hugged her again, not wanting to let go, but eventually, I had to. "I'll miss you. I can't wait to see you again," I said.

"Me too. Take care of my nephew for me. I'll see you soon," she said.

She turned and walked out the front door, guardians falling into place around her as they escorted Lissa to one of the SUVs. Only Dimitri remained behind in the house.

"I'll be back at Christmas," he promised. "Please keep me updated."

"I will," I said.

"I'll see you soon, Roza."

Dimitri looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead, he turned away, walking towards the car that Lissa was waiting in. A helicopter was waiting on the outskirts of town, and they would fly her and the guardians to Omsk, where Lissa's plane was waiting to fly back to Pennsylvania.

I stood in the doorway, watching as the SUVs pulled out of the driveway. I waited until I couldn't see them anymore to step back into the house, shutting the door behind me. As soon as I did, I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I thought it would be easier with Dimitri knowing, but after watching him leave, it felt like I was losing him all over again.