Chapter 1: Taurus N. Colt And The Raging Bull
It's happened again. I've lost everything, everything I've worked for. I stand, dumbfounded at how something like this could happen to me. But deep down, I know the reality of the situation. I've lost it all, I've lost it all. As the cascade of laughter grew, with the loudest of them all being from her. Her beautiful redhead hair, her laugh. Despite the context , it is still beautiful. My expression shifted from utter betrayal to mute acceptance of what was to come. All the jeers from all my peers filled my ears. And then came the lights, bright and coarse, burning my eyes like a flashbang. My legs carry me before my mind can even think of fighting back, rushing out of the auditorium, getting one last look at the redheaded girl that I pined for the past few years, but never had the guts to ask out.
Approaching my now vandalized locker and grabbing my bag. I begin my walk of shame out of the school. I think to myself, maybe things will be better, maybe people will forget. Or maybe, just maybe, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Leaving by the front entrance of this hellish educational institute, I find myself on the long, grueling, walk home. All around me I could feel the thoughts swirling inside of me, in an attempt to justify some sort of comeback- no, return to my life, and to understand why she'd laugh at me. So I laid down on my bed, mumbling to myself, like a goddamn crazy man.
She laughed at you, like the rest of them. She wasn't any different. Yeah no shit, they're all like that. Should've known she'd laugh. Should've known, should've known. I could've salvaged all of… this. Could I have? Your life is ruined, they'll harass you, they'll laugh at you. No one will take you seriously. I come to the conclusion that no. I could not have dealt with the situation any worse, or any better. And a grim thought comes to my mind, what if I wasn't here- No.
I repeat the mantra I've practiced for the past year.
This isn't what Takebe would have wanted.
Remember what Saori would think.
You wouldn't want to hurt her.
Do it for her. Do it for her.
For Saori, For Love.
But it isn't working as intended, and my body acts before I do. Standing up with clear intention, I fish a picture of my favorite character from Girls Und Panzer, Saori Takebe, out from the drawer. I used to obsessively think about her, but I got better. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Heh, Desperate Measures. If I had a choice, I'd sign up for the army, then maybe I could get close with tanks. And find a hot tanker gf. Shaking away my thoughts, I change into my preferred outgoing clothes, a trench coat, shirt, some durable jeans, shoes. What you'd expect from a criminal, or an outcast. And I go out the door, carrying the picture and my 'escape plan'.
The 'escape plan' was a gift from my father before he got divorced. My name bears the name of the company that made it: Taurus. Now as I walked the light became dim, as the world became darker, the sun was going down, I didn't know if I could make it in time to see my last sunset. Climbing over the path that I found as a kid, all those summers ago with… well no one. I never had a childhood love that lasted for more than a year. Much less a lover.
Eventually I made it to the top of the hill, overlooking the bustling town, trying to get the last vestiges of the day before it slumbered. I looked over to the sunset and saw something quite beautiful. And I… stopped for a moment. And pondered what I was going to do. Maybe things were going to be okay, maybe… just maybe I could recover from this.
Then I acted.
Taking out the Taurus, that Raging Bull of a revolver, and loading it with all 6 rounds, and taking out the picture of Saori, I thought about the mantra I told myself. Muttering it to myself, over and over again, as I looked at the picture, and then at the revolver, and then back again to the picture. I thought about the mantra more and more, the voice that taught me that every was going to be okay was gone, replaced with a cold, silencing ring.
He looked over the revolver one last time, he cursed his name, for in his account before God he would curse it. His expression soured- more than it had already done, and he looked over the picture, it was smiling at him, in her friendly-as-ever nature. He had hoped she'd find a nice man, a man that wasn't him.
He thought about her one last time, and thought about the mantra he'd tell himself:
This isn't what Takebe would have wanted.
Remember what Saori would think.
You wouldn't want to hurt her.
Do it for her. Do it for her.
For Saori, For Love.
Do it for her. Do it for her.
For Saori, For Love.
For Saori, For Lov-
BANG.
…
"OH GOD IT FUCKING HURTS." I cried out in shame and in anguish. I fucked it, I fucked it up! How could I fuck it up?! My breathing, I couldn't control it, I was hyperventilating, I could feel the blood rushing down the side of my head, OW OW OW OW. It hurts so much.
I could feel something loose in my head. Oh God… Is that… trying to raise my hands felt like being tied down by bricks in the water. It hurts so much, it hurts so much. I began crying, but not before I did one last thing with the last of my strength. Now my vision was bloodshot, amongst all the tears, all the regrets, all the fuck-ups of my life, I had to do this. She won't forgive you anyway. But that's okay, I just had to see her for one last time.
I raised my left arm, feeling around the grass, and grabbing at something that felt like the photograph. And brought it to my eyes, they were bloody and tear-stricken, but through it all I could see her hair, and in all honesty, that's all I needed. I cracked an imperfect, bloody, demented smile, but it was genuine nonetheless, and I said my last, blood filled, garbled words on this imperfect, cruel world:
"For Saori, For Love!"
And everything stopped.
…
Before starting again.
I shot up from where I was laid down, with the worst fucking migraine this side of the Mississippi, and I screamed, I didn't know of what, maybe of anguish, maybe because my ears were still ringing. When I stopped I opened my eyes, I was haggard, my breathing uneven, my head, like a mouse in a tin can, being hit by hammers. And I bore witness to the most unusual sight.
"Are you okay? Do you need medication?" A redheaded girl, with such a soothing voice, who showed a look of concern, shared by her friends. Heh, even in my state, I can still say she's still quite a beauty.
"H-huh? Why would you say that? Are you flirting with me mister?!" Saori said, blushing heavily. Much to the laughter of her comrades. Man, I thought I was out of it. I thought I was finished...