It took nearly about 2 hours before I was met once again by another researcher, me not knowing anything about her, as most of the different higher-ups were extremely difficult to pin down a verifiable face for, as they were coated in secrecy. I did, however, see her nametag as 04-17, Doctor Harper.
"Hello there, 789XP... or would you rather be called Marcus Osmond?" she asked, me sighing after.
"How about this? If I tell you so, you may call me Marcus. Otherwise, SCP-789XP is what it is. I'd rather have those that I trust call me by my proper name," I admitted, which Doctor Harper nodded at.
"Indeed," she said as she then proceeded to play a tape on her person. "We have the results of your classification and all the requests that you were given. Would you like to read it from afar?" she asked, me nodding as she simply placed the paper against the glass for me to read... and when I did? I gawked.
SCP-789XP designation determined.
All requests from SCP-789XP: Denied.
Object class designated as Keter.
Note: This person comes from another reality and has an insane knowledge of all of our research, every SCP that has ever existed in the past or potential future and has revealed secret information to 682 about 053's condition and how she viewed him with 978. Until further notice, 789XP is not to engage in any other SCP activities and is to be kept in containment indefinitely. He's been immune to every SCP object he's touched as of now, who's to say he can't become another 682?! Record reaction to prove the point.
After reading this, including the last bit where it said to record my reaction? I didn't feel anger, annoyance, sadness, none of it. Instead? I just laughed. A slow chuckle before then laughing like it were the best joke ever. And Doctor Harper looked at me in confusion.
"W-What's so funny? This is super serious, you know?" she asked me, which I then tried to catch my breath.
"Haha... I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just so funny that they view me as a threat because I know of their secrets... hah! They probably expected me to be furious at being refused to help the nicer SCPs or help some Euclids, even! Rich! Especially coming from a group that allows a stupid doll to keep killing people with increasing viscera! Just a K-Class event waiting to happen, haha!" I laughed, which made Doctor Harper look at me in confusion.
"Cursed doll?... You don't mean..."
"Oh, yeah, you know it as 136. The naked doll that, when near it too long, it disappears and turns into a floating creepy hall-of-mirrors demon lady! Kept using it for interrogations, it gets stronger and stronger until it just YEETS an interrogated man in a split-second blackhole! And despite numerous attempts to stop it, the doctor in charge is given amnestics and sent to other projects by the idiot 05's! Hilarious that they view me as more dangerous than 096, who is one of your most frequent breachers because there are pictures out there of the beasty that could be viewed at any time! Need I remind you of that Alaskan guy? 4 Fucking Pixels and all that?" I smirked back, which Doctor Harper sighed. Why? Because I was still smiling and laughing slightly after talking about the SCPs that were more dangerous than I was, yet were still not given Keter status and attempted to be destroyed.
"Ahem... uh... they expected you to be furious... you're calling them hypocrites and laughing about it... not what I expected..." Harper admitted.
"I already told you, that I want to help. Even if a few of my requests aren't granted at all, I'm perfectly content with even being a member of the staff like Doctor Bright is. I am not dangerous, won't intentionally 'breach' containment, and I'm immune to anything. I'm not going to kill any of the SCPs unless I'm told to. But still, the fact those 05 members consider me as a Keter class because I know of their secrets?! It's a laugh RIOT considering how many stupid decisions they've made. Need I mention the lake of blood? How they refused to listen to the guy that was going crazy after attempting to drain it? There's a reason for that. He claimed numerous things in that statement and it seemed that this blood lake has a cognitohazard effect if anyone tries to remove it.."
Doctor Harper looked to be at a loss for words. "I... I uh... I mean..."
"And the worst one? 1048. You still haven't found that stupid teddy bear and he's been making more clones from random scrap! If you give me the job, I can find that stupid bear, all of his clones, terminate said clones that are exceedingly dangerous, and capture 1048 and find out HOW exactly it makes those clones and try to stop it from that point on! Your call, Doc," I smiled, her then simply clearing her throat after as I saw a couple of tears fall from her eyes.
"I... I see... ahem... recording finished..." she sniffed as she then halted the recording. "I'll try to convince them with this tape and my own experience... that stupid bear... that stupid lake of blood... that horrible doll... you're right on absolutely everything of them... I've lost so many friends and family to those horrible SCPs... I'll let you know of their reaction... d-do you need anything as of right now?" she asked, me nodding.
"I'd like a bit of cream soda, if it isn't too much to ask?" I smiled, her sighing.
"I'll let the guards know that you want some... 294 is nearby and I'm sure it can make that concoction," she said as I then waited again... for roughly 2 hours again.
After this, Doctor Harper came back as I was finishing the last sip of my cream soda. "Um... here's the new paper they made... after hearing everything out from me and your reactions... this is their new paper," she said as she then showed me the paper, with some added words on the bottom in a different text.
Addendum 1: Ugh... fine... all requests accepted for 789XP. Object Class reclassified to Safe/Thaumiel. He is allowed to assist in any experiments, so long as the proper procedures are made to ensure a breach will not occur. First order, head to Site-24 immediately. If he finds 1048, 1048-A, and 1048-C, recontaining the former and destroying the latter two, 789XP will be given more freedoms, so long as he doesn't try to reintegrate into society.
I smiled at this new information and nodded.
"Okay, when should I head out, Doctor Harper?" I smirked, her gulping.
"So you accept the impossible task?... Okay, then let's go. Just know this. Site-24 has other SCPs inside of it. You may need to-" she was about to say before I spoke up.
"You do realize that the stupid bear could literally be ANYWHERE in the world as of now, right? The last time it was spotted was when 1048-A killed a lot of guards. Same with 1048-A and 1048-C. All three are unknown locations... I have another idea, but I may need to ask if I could be able to have an audience with the only clone that has been captured," I said, which made Doctor harper look at me with surprise.
"Y-You mean... 1048-B? You think you can find out the bears' locations after conversing with the baby clone?"
"It's a long shot, but I noted that, while I was going through the storage site, I was able to actually hear other SCPs that were speaking to me, that no one else could hear. I was able to hear 096 proclaiming how he's scared and wants to die, an instance of 939 talking about how delicious the first kill it made was, with every other instance not being as good, and I even heard 035 speaking without being on someone's face," I admitted to her, which she gawked at.
"Why didn't you mention that in the report you made, then?" she asked.
"Honestly, I had to think about it after the fact... because, considering the other soldiers couldn't hear them, I thought I was just hearing things from the stress... and then, while waiting for you the second time, I actually heard the voice of another SCP from nearby as it passed by the room. I was hearing SCP-999 talk about how happy it was to have some sweet lolipops after helping to calm down SCP-191," I explained, which made her nod.
"You're going to edit this report after meeting with 1048-B, okay?" she said, me nodding at her.
"Yes, I will. So where is it?"
"Just a few doors down," she said, me nodding as she then gave me the go-ahead to exit the pod and led me through the facility but making sure to call out all the people she could with weapons to make sure that I'd be safe, just in case. I was then sent into the containment room with the teddy bear made out of an 8-month fetus, and the bear looked at me while twitching and moving oddly. And then? I heard a voice.
"You... are different... than the others..." it said, me nodding at him.
"Indeed, I am... and I'm here to ask you some questions. I'm sure you can guess as to what they are," I said as the bear's arm came out of him.
"And I can... I hate my existence... if I let you know... where they are hiding... tell them... to kill me... I want to die... it hurts so much..." the bear said, me nodding.
"Yes, I'll be sure they get the memo... now, tell me. Where is your creator and the other creations?" I asked him, which he then cried a bit.
"T-They're going towards... S-Site... 23... it's filled with inanimate ob...jects... he plans to dest-st-stroy the site... and convert t-the items to m-more clones... d-don't let it h-happen... 205... 365... 528... don't let them win..." 1048-B said, me nodding.
"Got it. I'll get to this immediately," I said as I then left the room and the guards looked at me, along with me eventually seeing Doctor Harper.
"So? What did it say?" she asked.
"He gave it to me willingly, saying he hates his existence and wants to also be terminated... as for the locations of all three hostile 1048's? They're heading for Site 23. The reason, to create more clones from other object SCPs," I said, Doctor Harper gasping at this. "The specific mentions were 205, 365, and 528. AKA, the flood lights, the pool noodle, and the cloning silly puddy. We need to head out fast."
"Did he give a specific time?" she asked, me then hearing... the bear's voice in my head.
"They'll attack at 10 tomorrow morning..." I then relayed said message.
"We need to move fast! And warn Site 23 as well!" she said, me then nodding as we then headed out of the facility with me joining her and us then giving a call to the head of Site 23. "Hello?" I somehow heard the other end of the phone line.
"This is Doctor Wagner, 04-17. We have an urgent message from SCP789XP. After he successfully conversed with 1048-B, we've discovered that 1048, 1048-A and 1048-C are all attempting to attack Site 23 with the sole intent of trying to turn other SCPs into 1048 clone instances! I'm escorting him to said location immediately to try and contain 1048 as well as destroy 1048-A and 1048-C! Update all traffic moving in and out of the facility accordingly and be sure to have full staffing on all security cameras! I will not allow anymore of those goddamn teddy bear abominations!" she commanded, the person on the other side speaking afterwards.
"I... how can you be so sure?"
"Just trust me, sir, I know what I'm talking about," I said into the phone, which Doctor Harper looked at me in concern. "1048-B also gave the time of attack to be 10 AM tomorrow morning. And also requests to be put out of its misery and terminated along with his siblings," I said, the doctor on the other end nodding.
"Understood. I shall commence these plans immediately... if this turns out to be a farce, your ass is Keter again, got it?"
"Understood, sir," I spoke.
It all went exactly as 1048-B said. The moment that 10 AM hit the next morning and after all the security had been upped to the max, 1048 appeared alongside 1048-A and 1048-C... but they also had more of them, with 7 other instances all made out of different components! As for what their designations and designs were, I'll give my own interpretations here:
1048-D-1: A clone made out of nothing but human hair. Capable of using said hair to attempt to strangle one of the soldiers before I burned the hairy bear into ashes.
1048-D-2: A clone made of human boogers. Tried to suffocate a man by forcing itself into his trachea. After I got it out by doing CPR, the boogers went inside of my stomach... and I started to digest it as it tried to thrash out of my stomach. Not pleasant feeling or tasting.
1048-D-3: This bear is made to look like a bunch of clock pieces. It tried to attack by stopping time for everyone but itself. But as with all the others, I was immune to it and proceeded to smash it to pieces with a rifle that was on the ground, destroying it and the rifle at the same time.
1048-D-4: A bear made out of pieces from SCP-020. Tried to command through its mind control powers, but I simply took a guard's flamethrower and burnt it to nothing. We definitely needed to do a deep cleaning to the three guards afflicted by it as well as give them amnestics to snap them out of the mold's influence.
1048-D-5: This one is also made out of another SCP, this one being made of SCP-804, which was the world without man earth globe! After it initiated to spin around, it started to degrade materials... that is, until I proceeded to grab a hammer, found that it stopped degrading after I held it, I was unaffected, and I proceeded to smash the bear to a bunch of fragments, ending the effect before the site or the people could get too hurt.
1048-D-6: This bear was living blood. This one was a bit tricky to determine how I should destroy it, but then I remembered. Blood could be burnt! So I did so, the blood bear proceeded to dry and dry and dry until it was absolutely brittle before then getting shot with a shotgun by another member.
1048-D-7: After all the carnage happened, the final boss was a bear that was hinted at in SCP-5000's story. A giant bear that was fashioned after a parade balloon. It attempted to try and smash the Site, but I proceeded to rush towards it with a guard's knife and stabbed it. After this, the giant bear spoke after. "NO! I am impeneeeeeee-" he shouted before getting deflated to a flat bear, me then simply taking a flamethrower and burning this big bear as well.
After all the carnage, the remaining three bears of 1048, 1048-A, and 1048-C looked at each other and then held their arms up in the air. But I still wasn't taking chances. I then proceeded to shoot 1048-A into a bunch of disgusting skin all over the desert ground and slammed the heaviest item I could onto 1048-C while it stayed still in surrender. I proceeded to drop a boulder of about 100 pounds onto it, which crushed the metal bear flat as a pancake and killed it! After this, 1048 spoke.
"I... I'm not next... a-am I?" he asked, but of course, no one else could understand him.
"Tell me this. How did you make those things? We need to know how dangerous you really are," I frowned at him.
"I... guess I can't hide it... not anymore... anything that I place some of my stuffing onto... it turns into new clones of me, each one serving a purpose... I saw the stuff you did to the other ones. The ones that were innocent... all the horrible things you did, especially to the D-classes that didn't deserve to be D-classes... I made those clones to get back at them. To make them pay for hurting the innocent. I was going to save them... then you showed up," the bear frowned.
"And in doing so, you messed up a woman's baby. What's more innocent than a baby, huh? Talk about a hypocrite. Consider all of your rights revoked and you now being recontained," I said as I then simply grabbed the bear and proceeded to let the others know what I was told about his powers. How he creates clones by converting them by placing his own stuffing onto the items that eventually became his clones.
After my explanation, the group nodded after.
"You are now recontained as a Keter class and will never know the light of day ever again. You are also now forbidden from EVER using any kind of toys from here on out and you will be placed into your own personal straightjacket and placed in a room with as much soft edges as we can muster," the Site Director claimed to the bear, which the bear frowned at me.
"I hate you," he frowned.
"And I don't think you're cute," I frowned at him, the bear then gasping.
"I... How dare you!" the bear shouted before he was then placed into a super tight, super foamy straight jacket, placed into a super secure and super soft lockbox that was as round as possible, and then he was placed into a sealed glass container with extra soft padding within! And he did try to move within, but not to much avail.
"You saved a lot of lives today, 78-" Doctor Harper was about to say before I halted her.
"Please, call me Marcus. You're a friend now," I said, her smiling.
"T-Thanks..." she said as I then was taken with her to the inside of Site-23 and I was allowed to roam the site freely as SCP-1048 was placed in the most secure locker on site, along with at least 12 locks on it to prevent the bear from emerging from it ever again.
"We'll begin to edit 1048's entry as of now. Boy, will Doctor Carver be relieved about all of this," she smirked. I then sighed as I then noted that there was a food SCP nearby that I drew towards, wondering if it may be affected by me or not... luckily, my positive motives happened once again and, in an instant, SCP-458 immediately opened up to my favorite type of pizza. Pizza Hut's pepperoni and cheese pizza, large with stuffed crust. And better yet, it came with dipping sauce fro the pizza! And when other scientists saw this, they looked at me in surprise.
"Huh... that's new... 458 has never produced dipping sauces before," one of the other stated, me smiling.
"Anyone want to have some food? I'm willing to share with anyone," I smiled, them smirking as I then proceeded to get the first slice and some plates went around. After eating it for long enough, I then asked a serious question.
"Before I go take a break... do you know of any other tests I may be able to do, so long as I'm here?" I asked, which I got an answer from another 04 member, this one being one that was bald and looked very serious in tone.
"Only if a breach were to occur. At least until the 05 council can be told of your exploits in saving Site 23, eradicating an army of 1048 clones, and recontaining the original 1048 and discovering how and why it makes clones... I was told you were having a real conversation with it and that's what it was telling you, correct?" the doctor asked, me nodding.
"It claimed that it is able to convert any object or living thing into a loyal clone so long as it comes into contact with its stuffing. Sort of like the other teddy bear in 2295. Maybe, in the future, I can meet 2295 and ask it if it knows anything about 1048. Because, from what 1048 told me, it did all those cloning and killing shenanigans because it was upset with the Foundation for the bad things they did to any non-criminal Class D workers," I explained, which the guy nodded at.
"By 'non-criminal', what do you think that means? All Class D personnel are criminals, so what makes them different?"
"He claimed to be defending the "Class D's that didn't deserve to be Class D's". My best guess, ones that had committed minor offenses, some that may have been wrongfully convicted, some that only murdered out of self-defense? And maybe it saw too much one day with made it snap. Probably from one of the murderous SCPs like 682, 096, or 106," I said, the guy nodding.
"The reports were true, then? You know about all the SCPs in our database?"
"Indeed, I do. Some may be different to the tales that I know, and with any SCP that I interact with under my new SCP status, I'm going to write what my world states them as... believe it or not, I have a photographic memory and I also know that some items may be edited falsely by Chaos Insurgency members," I said, them nodding at that.
"Okay... and by the way, I've heard that D-9431 has been given the designation of an SCP. Number currently pending, but he was told of your exploits with 682, 049, and your insane immunities to anomolous SCP effects... is it possible that you're immune to every SCP?" he asked, me smirking.
"I want you to edit my tale to say this. Apparently, any weapon that I use with the intent to cause harm ALSO becomes immune to all SCP effects, as one of the bears was made with parts from 804 and started to degrade our clothes and weapons. But when I held the hammer I used to smash it to bits, it stopped getting effected altogether. I can only get the positive effects of any SCP effect that were to happen, as I was immune to 1079 except for the extremely sweet taste and I was able to chug 207 the whole way to the last drop and get maximum speed to rewire 079. And I already said it, so I'll say it again. I will help you, so long as I do not come into any experiments with dimensional teleportation or time travel, because losing me is losing one of your best assets you'll ever have."
"Understood. May we ask you to wait here until further notice? I trust you to not leave the premises, but if you do, we will label you as keter status."
"Good beans."