Chapter 26

Two things were eating away at Ga Eul's brain—what she would do after graduation and what to get Yi Jung for his upcoming birthday. For now, the latter consumed more of her brain. Jan Di dropped the seed of an idea in her brain, and her mind started forming a little project. She had to create something for him. A little souvenir of their friendship. And in which better way would that be other than pottery? His birthday was still 2 months away, so it gave her enough time to learn. It also helped that she would drop by the studio of an unsuspecting Yi Jung watching him work and take mental notes.

It was a bit time-consuming balancing school, her part-time jobs and her friends. But Ga Eul felt satisfied. In the shadow of Chun Ja's recent death anniversary, Ga Eul, for the first time since the incident, didn't feel scared of fading away. Her life was full. She knew who she was. She was the Ga Eul filled with the love her friends gave her. She was Ga Eul that Jan Di scorned and doted on at the same time. She was Yi Jung's best friend. She was Jun Pyo's future sister-in-law, Woo bin's and Ji Hoo's little sister and so much more. She was defined by the love she gave and received. How could she ever want more from life?

Finding a pottery class that didn't clash with her hectic life was a struggle, but it was nothing she and Jan Di couldn't handle. At first, Jan Di was going to join her but decided against the matter knowing Jun Pyo would be running his mouth in front of Yi Jung, so Ga Eul was left attending alone. Today was her first day, and much to her embarrassment, everyone in class could tell. Her rough hands, much used to the hard feel of tools and metal, applied too much pressure on the soft clay on the potter's wheel. She tried to soften her hands as the clay got smashed in her fingers. Luckily, her teacher was a gentle soft-spoken woman who had made light of the mess Ga Eul was making on the first day.

After the class had ended, Ga Eul stayed behind to apologize to her teacher. She saw the woman, the more correct term Ga Eul would use would be girl, gathering her stuff, and Ga Eul approached her. She admired her naturally soft and comforting aura.

"I'm sorry for making such a mess earlier." Ga Eul said guiltily.

"Oh, don't be. Everyone learns at different paces. You were already making progress at the end of the class." Her teacher said.

"You don't have to be so kind." Ga Eul replied.

"No, I'm telling the truth. You seem so passionate and eager to learn."

"Thanks so much. I'll continue to work harder from now on."

"Good luck." Her teacher said, grabbing her shoulder in encouragement.

"What are you doing?" Ga Eul asked yawning. She was tired from her pottery class after school. She had lied to Yi Jung saying that she was at the workshop.

"A ceramic vase." Yi Jung replied.

"Is there a difference when you make a ceramic vase from a regular one?" Ga Eul asked, curious.

"It differs in the type of clay and the temperature at which it's fired in the kiln."

"Oh, sounds interesting."

"Would you like to try?" He asked genuinely.

"Could I? I don't want to ruin your progress." Ga Eul replied.

"Don't worry about it. I'm making this one for my own pleasure anyway. It doesn't matter how it turns out." He said.

Ga Eul took a chair closer beside him as he snaked both arms around her, guiding her hands with his to shape the mound of clay on the wheel. Ga Eul could feel his breath on the little hairs of her neck and tried to stay calm. He was speaking in her ear, and she knew what he was doing. She could feel both his smugness and happiness at having her close.

"You have to loosen your wrists a little. Remember, in order to stay in control, you have to yield to the clay. Don't fight with it." He said.

"I'm trying, but it feels like it's slipping out of my hands." Ga Eul whined. Her hands were intertwined in his.

"You're not trying to fix it, but trying to find a new shape for it. In order to have a new soul. A new life. What do you want it to be?" He whispered in her ear.

"I take a bit of inspiration from people when I make a new piece. For example, if I'm using you as inspiration, I'd have to keep in mind that its character is going to be stubborn." He chuckled and Ga Eul shivered.

"But it also has to be exquisite. Clear details yet fine and soft features. Just like its owner. Beauty beyond understanding yet so transparent you can't deny it no matter how much you try. Something that makes my heart ache yet smile at the same time." He said, as his fingers stopped moving through the clay, but grazing her fingers and drawing circles on the front of her hands. Ga Eul felt her heart fluttering, thumping loudly in her chest. Euphoria filled her heart as she listened to Yi Jung breathe as he nuzzled closer to her.

"I wish we could stay like this forever." He admitted.

"Me, too." She replied to him.

"Why don't you live with me, Ga Eul?" Yi Jung asked her as he was driving her to the bus stop.

"What? You can't be serious." Ga Eul asked, shocked.

"I am serious. I don't think it's safe for you not to have a regular place to stay. It's not like we haven't stayed in a house together alone before. I was going to buy you an apartment of your own, but I know you wouldn't have taken it from me, so why don't we live together?"

"That's not what I'm worried about. I just don't think it's a good idea for us. Not now. I understand where you're coming from. Thank you for worrying about me."

"Think about it again, Ga Eul. My offer will always stand. You just have to say the words." He said, smiling.

"I know." Ga Eul replied, squeezing his hand.

The bus ride home to her parent's house made Ga Eul replay Yi Jung's words over and over again. She was overwhelmed. So much so, that she didn't remember walking to the house or opening the door. What would living with Yi Jung be like, she wondered to herself and smiled. She knew Yi Jung loved her, but his actions and words still took her by surprise. She was unsure of so many things, but feeling grateful wasn't one of them.

Opening the door to her room, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Ga Eul yelped so loudly and pulled back. Looking back, she saw her mother. She hadn't looked her in the eyes since the accident. Ga Eul shook in place, feeling like she saw a ghost. She took a few steps back into her room while she watched her with surprise and agitation.

"You didn't attend Chun Ja's Jesa*." Her mother spoke. Ga Eul hadn't heard her voice in years. She hadn't seen her mother in the flesh and acknowledged her existence in years. Was her mother in the right sound of mind? She wondered. Ga Eul never attended Chun Ja's Jesa.

"I-. L-leave, please." Ga Eul stammered, shutting the door quickly. What was happening? Everything moved so quickly around her. Struggling to keep her ground, she sat on the ground in fear. Why was her mother talking to her? She felt her chest tighten in a heart-wrenching burn. Taking countered breaths, her tightened chest loosened bit by bit.

They weren't going to harm her. No one was going to harm her. Maybe her mother was drunk, or she had finally lost the last bits of sanity she had after Chun Ja's death. Either way, Ga Eul kept reassuring herself that it was going to be okay. She kept chanting that mantra to herself as she hugged herself to sleep on the floor.

"Going on vacation is long overdue." Jun Pyo said over dinner. They had all gathered at a restaurant after school. Ga Eul had found herself quiet, playing with her food. She couldn't shake yesterday's eerie conversation out of her head. Everyone at the table could sense something wrong with her, but no one said anything.

"It's my senior year in school. I can't afford vacations." Jan Di argued.

"It'll only be for a few days. You're already halfway through the year. A little fun wouldn't hurt anyone." He persuaded.

"I'll only go if it's fine with the rest of you guys." Jan Di said.

"I wouldn't turn down a vacation. Where would my manners be?" Woo Bin snickered.

"See, everyone wants to go." Jun Pyo told Jan Di. "What about you, Ga Eul?"

"Huh?" She asked.

"We want to go on a vacation." Yi Jung said.

"I don't know about that. But if you're all going then I'm down."

"I'm in, too." Ji Hoo said.

"Where would we be going anyway?" Jan Di asked.

"How about Greece?" Jun Pyo asked.

"We get that you want to spend some romantic time alone with your girl, but save us all the hassle of going to a honeymoon destination." Woo Bin whined.

"There's plenty of fun things to do in Greece."

"I'm sure there is, but why don't you choose something less in our face." Woo Bin said.

"I agree with Jun Pyo. Greece would be fun." Yi Jung added.

"I've always wanted to go." Jan Di said.

"Then do we all agree?' Jun Pyo asked.

With Ji Hoo and Ga Eul's approval, they had set their plans into action with Jun Pyo preparing his private jet for the next weekend. Ga Eul tried to get excited, but she couldn't help the heavy sadness weighing her down. A trip with them could be just what she needed, though. Yi Jung kept taking side glances at her, but Ga Eul squeezed his hand under the table, reassuring him. Jan Di had already cornered her earlier in the day, so she knew what was on her mind. A part of Ga Eul was sure Jan Di agreed on that trip just to get Ga Eul away from her parents for a while.

"Min Seo Hyun is coming to Seoul next week." Ji Hoo said casually over their conversation.

"Oh." That was all Jan Di could say.

Ga Eul knew about Min Seo Hyun from many perspectives. She used to be Chun Ja's hyperfixation. She hated how better than her she was. It didn't help that she was studying to be a lawyer just like Chun Ja. She was also Ji Hoo's first love. And the only one as said by all who knew Ji Hoo. Ga Eul knew that it wasn't the case anymore. Few people realized he was out of love with her. A person wouldn't say the name of the person they hold dearest to them with so much coolness.

"I'm telling you since I don't want any incidents. Whatever that has happened, it is in the past now. She was like a big sister to all of us." Ji Hoo added on.

"I choose to believe you." Woo Bin said.

"It's not a matter of choice. These are facts."

"If he had given up on Seo Hyun for any reason other than falling out of love with her, I wouldn't have still been friends with him." Jun Pyo said in defence of Ji Hoo.

"Love doesn't always have to work out. Don't you think your view is kind of harsh?" Ga Eul asked Jun Pyo.

"Then it's not love. I don't care about reasons. If it's the person I love, I'll never let them go. Any person who claims to be in love but doesn't fight for it is only deluded to be in love."

"But what if the other person doesn't share such intense feelings?" She asked.

"I still wouldn't give up. I never gave up on Jan Di despite the awful actions that could've made me ashamed to confess my feelings."

"But that's only because Jan Di forgave you."

"That's not entirely true. I do admit that our first encounters weren't pleasant, but I don't think we're here today just because I forgave him. I guess in a way I would've always gone back to him. It makes sense, you see. I want to be with him no matter what." Jan Di said, looking over at Jun Pyo, smiling. He put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.

"Although I don't necessarily agree with Jun Pyo's intensity, I believe he has a point. No one who loves greatly can stay away from their person. Love is selfish." Ji Hoo countered.

"I don't that's true. I wouldn't put the person I love in the face of harm if it meant being with me." Ga Eul said.

"You mean Yi Jung?" Jun Pyo said, chuckling. Ga Eul took a sharp intake of breath, not expecting him to be so open about it. Ji Hoo shot him a look, but Jun Pyo only shrugged.

"It's not like anyone here doesn't know that these two are madly in love with one another."

"Oh, do shut up." Yi Jung said, looking entertained.

"See, they aren't denying anything." Jun Pyo said before Jan Di punched him in the arm.

"What about you, Yi Jung? Would you be with your loved one despite reasons not to?" Woo Bin asked.

"I don't think I'm selfless enough to stay away." He replied.

"She looked into my eyes and asked me why I didn't attend Chun Ja's Jesa. I still get chills thinking about it. It was like talking to a dead person." Ga Eul told Yi Jung in his penthouse after she asked him to stay the night there. She was scared of going back to her parent's house. The thought of talking to her mother again made her skin crawl.

"You don't have to go back there again. You can stay here as long as you want." Yi Jung said, giving her a glass of water. She mumbled her thanks.

"I know, but maybe this was a mishap. She could've been drunk. I really don't know." Ga Eul said, putting her head in her hands. Yi Jung took her shoulders in his chest and comforted her. He kissed the back of her head as she calmed down.

"The day that Chun Ja died, my parents did as well. They hated and scorned me. They shut me out making me believe I was guilty. I can't handle that again. I am a coward. I know that, but I can't deal with their presence anymore. I don't want to face what happened."

"What makes you think that it's cowardly to protect yourself? It's important in life to choose your battles. If you're putting your mind and heart at ease, then that's not cowardice, but self-preservation." He said.

"I wish it was, but it feels like I'm spending my life trying to run away. From everything. My plan after graduation is to run away for God's sake. It seems like it's the only thing I know."

"That's not true. You're exploring your options. You're taking time away from everything that held you down. Sometimes it's good to run away for a while. But you do have to come back or I'll miss you too much." He said.

"I will if it's the last thing I have to do." Ga Eul replied.

Jesa : Korean death anniversary.