TW: This chapter contains the very first swears in this fanfiction. If you cannot handle this, please stop reading and don't leave meaningless hate comments.

742 Evergreen Terrace, 3:45 p.m.

"Why are you chanting in Latin?" Lisa put her hands on her hips. "And what's going on with Maggie?"

Bart sighed. "Lisa, do you promise not to tell Mom until the time is right?"

Lisa crossed her arms. "What do you mean 'when the time is right'—"

"Do you promise?" Bart held out his pinky finger.

Lisa groaned. "Fine. But this better be a good reason, and a believable one at that."

Bart took a deep breath. "It all started that night after the variety show."

He recounted every detail he could remember, from the hooded man's threat to every Latin word he heard.

"And what were you chanting when I caught you?" Lisa raised an eyebrow.

"I finished the spell. So she still can talk, but she'll no longer die at five."

Lisa ran to Bart and hugged him tightly. "What in Buddha's name were you thinking?"

"I thought they were hurting her, not trying to prolong her life."

"Kids, what are you doing in Maggie's room?" Marge's voice called out from the stairs.

"Crud!" Bart hurriedly went back to cradling Maggie, who instantly pretended to cry just as Marge came up the stairs carrying a basket of baby clothes.

Bart nearly opened his mouth, but Lisa made up an excuse for him.

"Maggie couldn't sleep earlier, so we tried to sing her a lullaby. When she heard your voice, she woke up and began crying again."

Marge put down her basket and knelt next to Bart so that her eyes met Maggie's. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry I woke you up."

She kissed Maggie on the cheek and picked up the basket. "Sweet dreams."

Marge climbed down the stairs. Lisa and Bart sighed in relief. Maggie went down from Bart's arms and walked to the living room.

"What're you doing?" Lisa asked as she and Bart went down the stairs.

They saw Maggie sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and switch to a particular animated sitcom.

"Oh, this show is so much fun! Just look at how accurately they depicted us!" Maggie pointed at the TV, showing Lyle Lanley convincing the town to build a monorail, with Marge being the only one who objected.

"Hey, Marge, you're on TV!" Homer yelled out behind the couch, causing the kids to jump.

"Homer, please don't do that again," an annoyed Bart responded.

Homer squinted. "Hold on—is that the time Springfield had a monorail?" He sat down next to Maggie.

Lisa looked at Bart. "When are going to tell them that Maggie can t—"

Marge gasped. "Mail is here!" She ran outside, excitedly opened the mailbox, took a letter, and ran back inside.

Homer stood up. "It is?"

"It's here!" Marge unfolded the envelope and read it aloud.

"Marge Simpson, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield—"

"Mom, quit the envelope and read the letter!" Bart interrupted, even though he, Lisa, and Maggie were still watching the episode.

"Okay, fine." She opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.

February 1, 2024
Springfield Meeting Center,
Springfield, ... _ ._ _ . / .._ _. _._ _. _ ._ _.

Dear Marge,

So you booked a meeting on February 9th. Our policy is that every person who has already booked a meeting must see me exactly one week before the date of the meeting.

A typical appointment with me is nearly the same as an interview. I ask you why you want to hold or join a meeting, how many guests will join, and more. You cannot choose a room—I will do that for you. And my decision is final. No buts or ifs.

Come see me tomorrow at 3:00 p.m. sharp. Don't be late. If you come at 2:59 or 3:01, I will not approve the meeting.

Best regards,
Samantha Crandall

Marge looked at the calendar, then at Homer. "Are you sure this'll work?"

"Don't worry. You can tell Crandall about your dream."

Bart and Lisa slowly turned their heads. "What dream?"

Homer took a moment to realize what he just said. "D'oh!"

"What dream?" the kids asked again.

Marge angrily stared at Homer before turning to Bart and Lisa. "Oh, nothing, kids. Your dad just made things up." Marge said the last three words while gritting her teeth and giving Homer another death stare.

"Eh. Fair enough," Bart responded, before calling Lisa to return to watching with Maggie. Marge, meanwhile, dragged Homer to their bedroom, an unusual action even for her.

"What the hell were you even thinking?" Marge jerked her hands in front of her. "Haven't I told you not to tell the kids anything until the time is right?"

"But when exactly will the time be right?"

"I don't fucking know!"

Marge slapped her hand on her mouth. "What am I doing—why am I swearing?"

Homer put his hand on Marge's shoulder. "This isn't normal. You've never cursed like that before."

"Something's going on here. Something funny. Either I've developed anger issues because of everyone's antics or the universe is imploding."

Marge then turned towards the door. "Hold on. I think someone's listening."

"What are you doing, Bart?" Lisa whispered. "Don't you know it's bad manners to eavesdrop?"

"Relax. I'm trying to find out what this dream's all about." Bart pressed his ear closer to the door.

Lisa then heard Homer and Marge arguing.

"Haven't I told you not to tell the kids anything until the time is right?"
"But when exactly will the time be right?"
"I don't fucking know!"

Bart backed away from the door. "This is nuts. Mom never swears. Never."

Lisa pressed her ear to the door this time.

"...antics or the universe is imploding."

"What the..." Lisa muttered.

"Hold on. I think someone's listening."

"Bart!" Lisa whispered. "Go, go, go!" She and her brother ran to the couch, put their fingers to their mouths to warn Maggie, and pretended to be cheering as Homer stopped the monorail train on the TV.

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?" the Homer actor said as Marge opened the door.

"Marge, relax," the real Homer said. "It's nothing."

"I think the universe is imploding. There's absolutely no way I'm doing this of my own accord."

"Well, at least the kids didn't hear you." Homer pointed at the couch.

"Yeah, right," Bart and Lisa muttered under their breaths.

AN: Yay, my first swear word!

Okay, I'm kidding. So we're slowly getting introduced to Samantha, and I'm including what TV Tropes calls "Out of Character is Serious Business." I hope it establishes something weird is going on here.