Chapter 37

Everything hurt. That's the first thing Ga Eul thought of when she opened her eyes. The fluorescent light was too strong for her eyes that she squinted.

"Ga Eul? Can you hear me?" Jan Di asked, flustered.

Ga Eul could only grunt as a response. She couldn't move her head to see Jan Di. Her only view was the white ceiling above.

Jan Di immediately called for a nurse while Ga Eul tried to understand her surroundings. She remembered Hong Joon calling her. He was angry and acting crazy. That's where her memory got hazy.

"Miss Ga Eul? I need you to relax a bit. You're okay now. I'm here to take your vitals if that is okay with you." A foreign voice said. She heard the annoying beep of an ECG in the background.

"What's going on?" Ga Eul tried her voice as it broke inside her throat.

"Ga Eul, you're safe now." Jan Di wept.

"What happened?" Ga Eul asked, confused.

"You don't remember?" Jan Di asked.

"Miss Jan Di, I think I should bring the doctor in."

"Oh, okay. I'll leave now, but I'll get back to you again. Don't you worry." She assured her.

Ga Eul tried to get up but felt the rush of pain sweeping through her. It hurt to breathe. Coming to her senses, she realized that her leg was in a cast. Her whole body was covered in healing scars.

The memories came rushing back to her. Hong Joon throwing the chair at her. Her falling. The glass. The sound of beeping increased irritating her spreading headache. How could things have gone so badly? She asked herself. She felt her emotions getting the best of her while tears stained her damp cheeks.

The doctor joined them shortly explaining everything to her and counting her injuries. He seemed sympathetic to her. Now looking at it, she took her room in and realized how posh the room was. This wasn't a regular hospital room. Thought of Yi Jung crushed her. She needed to see him.

"When can I leave?" Ga Eul asked, impatient.

"Ready to leave us so soon?" The middle-aged doctor chuckled.

"Well, your condition is much better than when you came in. You're very lucky, Miss Ga Eul. If you were brought in any later, the damage would've been much worse. Your friends did a great job stopping the bleeding until you were brought in. We're going to keep you under watch for a while until we're sure you're alright. You did suffer from a trauma to the head. So we have to be careful."

"Thank you so much." She replied, dejected.

"Your friends are thrilled you're better now."

"Me, too." Ga Eul smiled.

After the doctor and the nurse left, Ga Eul was left to think to herself. Her body felt foreign and heavy. If she made a slight wrong move, her broken ribs would scream at her. It was impossible to get comfortable. More so knowing that she would see her friends.

She put them through hell the last few days because of her impulsiveness. She didn't dare to face any of them. She also wondered what happened to Hong Joon. Not that she cared if he was alright, but it was mere curiosity.

She was in disbelief that it came to this. A part of her always knew that he was uncontrollable but to the point of attacking her? What had she done so wrong that she deserved this? Even the ones who genuinely loved her suffered because of her stupidity. She didn't want to see anyone. She hoped a hole could swallow her up so she could hide from the pain. Both the physical and the emotional.

Knocking on the door pulled her out of her trance.

Jan Di and the F4 entered, seemingly happy except for one person. They gathered around her bed although there was much space in the room. Even a TV. Ga Eul would've laughed at the luxurious room if she wasn't in such a bad state.

Yi Jung was standing behind Woo Bin, refusing to look at her. His eyes were murderous as he looked her way suddenly. He immediately turned his attention to the vase next to her like it was the most perplexing thing he ever laid eyes on.

"I can't believe you're finally awake." Jana Di beamed.

"We were all so worried for you." Ji Hoo said, smiling.

"Thank you guys so much. I put you through so much."

"You just get better. Then you can pay us all back." Jan Di said.

"Yes, ma'am." Ga Eul replied.

"Hospital gowns don't suit you, Ga Eul." Woo Bin said, leaning on the post of her bed.

"She's looked worse." Jun Pyo scoffed.

"Ouch. The offence is much taken." Ga Eul sarcastically said.

"You were as white as the bed sheets, honey." Jan Di added.

"The doctor said that you took care of me while the ambulance came."

"You were our first real patient." Ji Hoo proudly announced.

"Guess I should get sick more often." Ga Eul attempted a chuckle, but only ended up squirming at the pain in her ribs. Jan Di took beside her right away, wanting to help her in any way she could.

Yi Jung's eyes burned holes watching her curl upon herself. Ga Eul got scared at his gaze, looking at him behind her eyelids. She gave him a soft look, trying to ease his intense gaze. Instead that seemed to rile him more. In a second, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door in his wake.

Ga Eul inhaled a sharp break, expecting this, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"He's being an asshole. He's been like that ever since he saw you in that house. He doesn't mean it." Woo Bin explained.

"It's okay. I get it."

"I'll go get him. That's no way to talk to you after you got hospitalized." Jun Pyo said, following suit.

"He's been watching you like a hawk ever since. It took a toll on him. God knows it took a toll on all of us." Jan Di commented.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have acted like that." Ga Eul lowered her head.

"It doesn't matter anymore. You're okay and safe now."

"Still, I should have been more careful. He threatened to kill himself if I told anyone. Looking back at it, he was playing with me, but I couldn't think straight then."

"That bastard! Only something this disgusting would come out of him. You suffered so much by his hands." Jan Di got angry.

"I suspected as much. You wouldn't have acted so quickly if he wasn't threatening you." Ji Hoo said.

"There are special places in hell for people like him." Woo Bin spewed.

"Yeah, I hope so." Ga Eul muttered.

"What happened to him? Did he run away?" Ga Eul asked.

"He didn't." Ji Hoo replied. Jan Di looked nervously at Woo Bin, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Yi Jung got to him?"

"Not yet. He will, though." Woo Bin confessed.

Ga Eul sighed, knowing something like that was bound to happen. She had hoped he would've been caught by the police. He would've been dealt with less cruelty. Thought of what Yi Jung planned to do with him made her uneasy. It wasn't that she felt bad for him, but rather despised that he would always leave a mark on her.

"I think it's better to leave you to rest for a while." Woo Bin suggested.

Ga Eul nodded her head, not able to form the words.

After they left, Ga Eul was forced to eat plain hospital food. It looked like hospital food was plain and unappetizing for both the wealthy and the poor.

Ga Eul dozed off after her meal, not able to resist the sleep waiting for her at bay. It felt like sleep had consumed her whole as images of Hong Joon swarmed through her mind and then Yi Jung. Her dreams were unending like waves of the ocean engulfing her.

It was only the sound of a door clicking closed that woke her up. Opening one eye, she saw faint moonlight seeping through the shutters of the window.

Yi Jung took a seat beside her bed. She could tell by the sound of his steps and his heavy burdened breathing.

She contemplated whether to act like she was sleeping or not. On one hand, she missed his presence and didn't want him to storm out on her, but the bigger part of her wanted to hear his voice.

"Good of you to come and see me." She said, her voice rough and unsure. She looked at his messy hair and dark circles.

"You look like you haven't gotten any sleep." She remarked.

He held her gaze and she could tell he was thinking about leaving. He was still angry, frozen in his chair.

"Please, stay." She whispered, sounding sicker than she felt. She wanted to lure him.

He loudly exhaled, giving her his response.

"Come here." She tapped on the bed beside her.

"It's big enough for the both of us." She said.

"Ga Eul, I can't do this." He spoke to her for the first time. His arms were crossed against his chest.

"Why? I know I'm being selfish, but I need you beside me."

"So you know you're being selfish."

"I messed up. But you're being too harsh." Her voice faltered, tears threatening to escape her eyes. She couldn't handle him being so far away.

"I didn't mean to. Let's talk another day." He pulled back, sensing her hurt.

"No, let's talk now. I can't handle this."

"I don't think I'll be able to do this now." He said.

"Try. For me. Please."

"Ga Eul." He tried reasoning with her.

"Please."

"You don't know what it was like seeing you lying on the ground, bleeding. I saw your soul slipping out of your body. The thought of it alone makes me lose my mind." He confessed, yet hesitated in his words.

"Continue. Tell me what you want." Ga Eul encouraged him.

"I thought you were going to die. I thought I lost you. Can you imagine how painful that was?"

"No, I can't." She admitted. She couldn't entertain the idea that Yi Jung would no longer be by her side.

"Exactly. I went through all of that the last couple of days. You decided to do this alone knowing you could've told me. Hell, even Jan Di. Did you not think about all the people who care about you? You aren't in this life alone yet you did something abhorrently reckless. All for that fucking asshole?"

"It's not like that."

"Then tell me what it's like because I'm going insane here. I could've almost lost you. That was the worst feeling imaginable. I felt empty. Like my life had no meaning at all. It was inexplicable."

"He told me he was going to kill himself. I panicked! I didn't know what to do. All I thought was that a person was going to die because of me. Yes, I know that didn't turn out to be the case and it was reckless of me, but I couldn't think properly. I was scared. So scared, Yi Jung. And I wanted to tell you way sooner but I was afraid you'd do something to him and then your hand got injured. I am so sorry." Ga Eul sobbed, her chest heaving as she took in heavy breaths. The stabbing pain returned and she wrapped her hand around herself.

"No, no." Yi Jung cooed, sitting beside her and putting her in his arms. Ga Eul continued to sob as he held her.

"I was being a prick. It's not your fault. It's all his. I shouldn't be blaming you."

"No, I should've been honest from the start. None of this would've happened."

"He manipulated you. He's the one to blame. I should've known better. I got petrified when I saw you in that front yard. My judgement's been clouded."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't." He whispered, holding her close.

She stayed in his arms, lulled by the circles he rubbed on her back. He kissed her forehead while she calmed down. Careful not to hurt her, he climbed slowly on the bed beside her. She held his hand in her grip tightly, looking at him for signs he wasn't mad anymore.

"I missed you. For a while, I thought I wouldn't be able to have this anymore " He admitted, softly.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to apologize. It's me who should be apologetic. I was being too rough."

"I would be too if I thought I lost you." She said.

"Still, you went through so much."

"You also did. Jan Di and the others, too."

"Promise me, Ga Eul. You won't hide from me anymore." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in his grasp.

"I promise."

"I'm also at fault. I unconsciously deterred you from saying something to me. It was extreme of me, but you have to understand that I would do anything to keep you protected and safe. So far, I haven't done a very good job, but I'm planning to."

"You technically can't protect me from everything." She smiled.

"I'll try as hard as I can."

"You don't have to. I want you by my side. That's all you could do for me." Ga Eul said, subtly hinting at Hong Joon. A part of her didn't want him to punish Hong Joon himself.

"I can't have the power to do something and not do it."

"You can try."

"I won't. You're everything to me. You have to understand." He replied, his eyebrows knitted together.

Ga Eul smoothed the line between his eyebrows and said, "I don't like seeing you distressed. You look tired."

"I'm in better shape than you." He laughed.

"That's not something to brag about. I'm the patient. I have reason to look like shit."

"Are you saying I do?" He arched his eyebrows.

"I never said that." She mildly shrugged.

"Just wait until you get better." He threatened.

"What will you do?"

"You're never leaving my sight again. Until you leave, that is."

"That's lenient."

"It's your first offence. I have to be."

He took a stray strand of her hair, twirling it around his finger.

"You always do that." Ga Eul observed.

"I love your hair. It's so soft."

"You're looking at it like you've never seen it before."

"I'm more appreciative of it now."

"It's a specific detail."

"I'm specific about what I love. I love every minute detail about you. I love you."

"I love you too, Yi Jung. So much my heart is full of you." She snaked closer into his body. He lightly placed his arm around her. He scooted down to her face, placing a lingering kiss on her cheek.

"You're going to be the death of me." She whispered, breathless. Like every time he came close to her.

"You're irresistible."

"Even like this?" She asked.

"Especially like this. In my arms." He tightened his hold around her waist.

"Go to sleep, love" He kissed her forehead, laying her head on his chest.

"You'll be there when I wake up?"

"Always."

Ga Eul woke up, finding the bed beside her empty. The sun had come alive, forcing her to wake up. She wondered if he had gone to the bathroom, but the sounds of a heavy argument made her rethink.

It was loud enough that Ga Eul could hear angry voices at her door. However, she couldn't make out anything.

Confused and wanting to understand, she called for her nurse. She wanted to get a glimpse of what was happening outside, but couldn't get up to do it herself.

By the time she came, the voices had quietened down.

"Are you feeling okay today, Miss Ga Eul?" The nurse smiled at her.

"Yes, much better. Thank you."

She left after checking her vitals again. Ga Eul tried to stop grimacing if she moved the wrong way. She didn't want anyone to think she wasn't okay. She wanted to go home as fast as possible, already feeling confined. The thought of her not finding out about the ruckus already annoyed her.

Yi Jung and Jan Di joined her shortly afterwards looking frustrated.

"What was the commotion outside?" She asked as soon as they entered.

"Ga Eul, your parents are outside. They're refusing to leave. They insist on seeing you." Yi Jung beat Jan Di to it.

"I won't let them in. Don't you worry your mind about it." Jan Di said.

Ga Eul couldn't understand. Why would they want to see her? Were they angry that she survived? Her stomach felt queasy at the thought. She didn't want to see them. Ever again. She made that pact to herself the last time she bowed to them.

"Good. Don't let them in. I don't want to see them."

"It's okay, honey. They won't." Jan Di said

"The nerve of them, honestly." Ga Eul scoffed, getting angry.

Not again, she thought to herself. She won't do that to herself again. Not after Hong Joon got her hospitalized. She was going to wash her hands of anything related to Chun Ja.

She was dead.

And Ga Eul was more than happy to admit she was gone. So would be her memory.

"Yi Jung, I want you to take care of this. Don't tell me what you'll do, but I want them out of my sight. All of them." Ga Eul said.

He nodded, understanding what she meant. He seemed taken aback by her decision when she seemed against the idea for the longest time.

"I'll do what I deem fit." He replied, taking his leave.

He seemed too excited than Ga Eul would've liked. But she didn't want to think about it.

Up until yesterday, she was ready to let Hong Joon go unscathed by Yi Jung, but it seemed like they kept crawling back to her no matter what happened. For once and for all, she had had enough. No one was going to get to her anymore. No matter what it took to bury them away from her life.

Ga Eul held Jan Di's hand, squeezing the life out of it. She needed the strength to go through with this, and she needed it from Jan Di.

Understanding her struggle, Jan Di said, "When you get better, let's go skating again?"

"Yes." Ga Eul replied.

"I won't let you cheat this time. I'll make sure you go through this properly." Jan Di said.

Ga Eul nodded, squeezing her hand tighter.