As the day progressed, my mind continued to puzzle over Bella.

I hadn't expected a miracle by fixing the staircase, but I'd hoped it would at least offer a branch to show her i wanted to be friends. It shouldn't have surprised me to see her not even consider it before charging away from me, nor the hurt i felt from her actions; i knew i deserved it. I'd hoped the next year wouldn't be like this every time we crossed paths, but it did seem the friend avenue would take a while.

I kept my distance after that, listening from afar as Esme and Bella spent time together. Esme was someone you couldn't help but love, and it sounded like she was beginning to win Bella over. Hearing Bella begin to open up about where she came from and what brought her here, i found myself wishing that i could be the one she shared her tale to, the one who brought out that nervously sweet smile of hers when Esme expressed interest and enthusiasm to her stories. I thought back to this morning, watching Bella laughing in what appeared to be a genuine moment of happiness, finding myself smiling in turn. She had been enchanting to watch, as if her joy had been a siren call to us all as we ventured in to see what the girls were up to. I hoped her happiness would return in full and she would find this lifestyle wasn't too terrible, despite the negatives to it. I may think of myself as a monster, but someone like her didn't suit that title.

Bella helped Esme to replace the bedding before venturing back to her room, my mind pondering her silent one all the while. When my siblings came home from school, the girls immediately rushed upstairs to Bella and, listening to their thoughts, i could understand why; the school was full of gossip about the missing daughter of the Police Chief. They'd decided to wait until we'd all gathered later, believing Bella was unlikely to concern herself with any of the school rumblings.

I'd managed to catch Esme and, locating what we needed in the study, had just agreed on my idea for Bella when Carlisle came home. The mood immediately changed; silence echoed throughout the house as everyone froze, while his mind ran through the events of the day. The voices, the concern, the pain... it was as heavy as if it had been his own. There was no need to discuss it; everyone congregated to the living space to get the latest information on what was happening in town. Jasper was moving like a soldier ready for battle, tasting the emotional tirade that he knew could explode. He was my only mental indication for how Bella was doing, though you only needed to look at her to see the anxiety radiating off her. Alice stayed by her side, keeping a comforting hand on her arm to try and help, though it could also be to stop her running out the doors at whatever Carlisle had to say. As we all took a seat, our eyes jumping between Carlisle's serious expression and Bella nervously biting her lower lip, he inhaled deeply before beginning to talk.

"Chief Swan visited the hospital today to ask about Bella"

An audible intake of breath from Bella distracted me momentarily, her eyes expressing a number of emotions that Jasper tried to keep up with. He didn't intervene, letting her absorb Carlisle's words before he continued.

"Apparently, he's been visiting the hospital daily, asking if anyone of Bella's description had been brought in. He carried a picture of you, showing all staff on duty so we knew who to look out for."

Bella took another moment, before swallowing and asking in a slightly shaky tone. "How... how did he look?"

The image of Chief Swan's pale, exhausted face flashed through his mind, looking like he hadn't slept since she disappeared, rumpled clothing visible beneath his leather jacket; the vision of a desperate father in pain. My head fell, eyes closing as the guilt radiated through me at what i was putting him through.

"As if he hasn't stopped looking for you since you vanished."

The stab of pain shot through Jasper's careful monitoring, holding the sensation to try and relieve Bella's struggle. Carlisle may be careful with his words, but he'd never lie to us and he wouldn't hide anything from her. His own guilt was evident in his expression, his mind focused on the frantically worried human.

"Did he ask anything else?" Rose questioned, her arm around Bella to comfort her with Alice mirroring from the other side.

Carlisle shook his head as Bella looked up at him. "No, he just asked for us to contact him if we heard or saw anything. There isn't much more i could've said or done that wouldn't arise suspicion."

"There wasn't much to report from school, either." Alice spoke up in response, her mind wandering through their day. "The gossip centers around Bella going missing and speculation about what happened, but nothing of concern. If it wasn't for the posters, i don't think anyone would know what Bella looked like to keep an eye out for her."

Bella glanced to her. "Posters? As in missing posters?"

Carlisle nodded in confirmation. "Yes, your father has put up posters all over town and the outskirts asking for any information on sightings. From what i gather, the only thing he has to go by is your abandoned truck."

A small sob escaped Bella as her head fell into her hands. The girls tightened their grip on her, not speaking but offering their silent support. I raised my head slightly to look at her, forcing myself to acknowledge the torment I've put the Swan family through. I knew an apology would appear empty to her, despite how much i meant it; there were no words i could offer her. Instead, i stood up, drawing all eyes to me in the process other than the most vivid ones. I took a step towards Bella, her pain making me want to comfort her, but the glaring, protective eyes of Rosalie stopped me in my tracks.

Do you think that's wise? Her words were laced with the venom that ran through her veins. You've done enough, leave the poor girl alone.

I stood still, conflicted, but i knew she was right; all my presence did was hurt her more. Instead, i decided to make myself useful for the first time in days.

"I'm going to do some surveillance, try to find out any further information from what the police know."

"Do you think you can manage that without killing more of my family?"

My eyes met Bella's in surprise, not expecting a response from her. Her eyes were lethal, unforgiving, her hands clenched into fists as she glared with hatred. I didn't need mine or Jasper's gifts to know i had to choose my words very carefully, yet somehow my own tone came out clipped. "I'll do my best."

An annoyed huff escaped her in reply but she didn't say anything more, glaring for a little longer before Alice regained her attention. Taking this as my cue and ignoring the thoughts of the others, i turned and disappeared out the door.

My main thought had been escape, running away yet again from the problem i had created. The shame, the guilt, the disappointment... it just kept building up threatening to suffocate, an avalanche waiting to consume me if one more thing tipped it over. Seeing her father had brought me close to it, pushing me into action and wanting to make it right, momentarily forgetting my presence would only hurt her further.

I shook my head hard, forcing my invading woes away so i could make myself useful. I moved at pace towards the town, the night keeping me obscured in the shadows. I didn't have a goal in mind, only to see if i could pick up anything in the thoughts of others; it wasn't long before i found myself gravitating towards the Swan household. Moving through the trees, i was still deep in the forest when i was hit with mental anguish so intense it crippled me. It was impossible to locate the words of the individual, but the agony of fear, loss, guilt and sadness could only be from one person.

I forced myself to move closer, the sensation filling my mind and drowning out anything else around as i broke through the treeline. I paused as the faded red of Bella's truck caught me off guard, expecting it had been impounded, though the Chief of Police's house would be just as safe. I moved closer to inspect it, noticing her tyre was still flat with the truck leaning to one side; it must have been towed from the layby. It was then i caught the faint trace of her human scent, the same one that drove me crazy with an urgent, uncontrollable need for her blood. I felt my instincts kicking in; my mouth filling with venom, listening for a heartbeat and, for a moment, being taken in by the one i could hear in the household. I was moving again before i caught myself on the truck, my hand grasping the metal to force myself still, as i told myself the scent was long gone.

Get a grip, i scolded myself, noticing my black eyes staring back at me through labored breathing; the eyes of a monster. You can control yourself better than this.

I stopped breathing to cut through my hunting senses, focusing on carefully releasing my hold on her truck. I'd left visible indents behind in the metal which i manipulated back into place as quietly as possible. I kept myself low and hidden, making sure no one else could spot me, as i cautiously glanced through the window where i could pinpoint the strongest turmoil.

Charlie Swan sat alone at the table, slumped forward with various paperwork surrounding him. There were hand written notes, a couple of video tapes labelled 'CCTV', documents titled 'Witness Statements' and various photos of the nearby roads, her as-discovered truck and human Bella smiling shyly, the same one he'd shown Carlisle. They covered every inch of the table and part of the floor, likely fallen while he searched and hadn't bothered to retrieve them. His clothing was mis-buttoned and ill-fitting, either too big or from losing weight. His hands held his heavy head up, eyes half closed in exhaustion and pain as he ignored everything else, only staring down at the photo of Bella in front of him.

Even after all the years of mind reading and traumatic events I'd been witness to, i'd never felt more like an intruder to someone else's devastation. I shuddered at the intensity of it, the downpour increasing as if synchronized to his struggle; a literal storm of depression. I wanted desperately to help him, but like Carlisle said, we couldn't do anything without revealing our involvement or true identities. Therefore, i did the only thing i could; i stayed and endured with him from afar to share the burden.

.

It was a little after 3am by the time i finally left the Swan household, still revelling in the agony that had barely decreased as the Chief finally drifted off, his head still in his hands. I caught a deer with ease as i made my way back, the stress and taste of Bella's human scent restoring my thirst for the first time in days. The rain had eased into a light drizzle, though i was soaked through from sitting still for hours. I didn't acknowledge anyone or listen to their thoughts as i bee lined for my room, intent on showering and changing before facing the others.

Washing away the sin, i thought sarcastically to myself. That'll be the day.

I could hear their thoughts before the knock, though neither Carlisle nor Esme said anything as they walked into my room. I turned from my spot on the sofa and fixed my expression to the best of my abilities, but there was no fooling Esme. She quickly sat beside me and placed an arm round me, a motherly hug i didn't feel worthy of. She and Carlisle exchanged another look of concern before addressing me.

"Alice kept an eye out to check all was ok," he began as i kept staring down at the floor. "She mentioned you'd been at the Swan house and Jasper could feel your turmoil before you'd reached the threshold."

I didn't speak, listening to Carlisle's concern for my self-flagellation and Esme's sorrow at my sorrow. I shook off her arm as i stood up, facing away from them as i spoke.

"I'm not looking for your sympathies, nor do i deserve it." Even through my clouded mind and uncertainty of her presence, i could hear Rosalie's internal sigh at my 'pity party'. "I wanted to see what i can do to help."

"And what did you find?" Carlisle's tone was of patient concern, my eyes closing in response knowing i shouldn't be the one receiving his compassion.

"You're correct; there isn't a way i can directly help him, as much as i want to. I deserve to feel the pain he's going through and more." Though Bella's already doing what she can to remedy that physically, i added as a mental after thought. "His mind is tricky to pick up, though not as difficult as Bella's. From what i could grasp, he doesn't have anything firm yet and the exhaustion is making it harder. For now, all we can do is continue to act normal, maybe see if we can aid from a distance."

Carlisle didn't reply, though mentally accepted my words and wondered how to help, possibly offering a drink or a friendly ear when he returned to the hospital.

"That's not a bad idea, he's not really taking care of himself right now." I turned back to face him, then realized i couldn't hear as many voices as usual. "Where is everyone?"

"When Alice saw you returning, she encouraged Bella to give hunting another try, but i don't think she's having much luck." Esme instinctively looked out the window, though there was nothing to see.

Guess it's time to put my words into action, i thought as i moved towards the door, thinking back on my mental promise to her father as i sat in the rain.

"Where are you going?" Esme was back on her feet, worried i would run away again.

"I may be unable to help Charlie, but i intend to help Bella," i replied before continuing down the staircase. Jasper was standing by the door silently watching, while Rosalie glanced up from her magazine as she fixed me with another hard, accusational stare.

Decided not to run away again, Edward? She rolled her eyes at me before looking back at her magazine. At least you've stopped your pity party long enough to try and help her, though i doubt you'll get very far.

Of course she was right, i needed to stop with the self-pity. I could hear Alice trying to persuade Bella a little further away, so i sped off in their direction, jumped over the river and was approaching the two before long.

"I'm sorry Alice, i just... i don't want to lose-" Bella immediately silenced herself and her eyes turned cold as she witnessed my appearance.

"Having some trouble?" I asked in a calm, questioning voice as i looked between them. While Alice didn't mind my presence, Bella wanted no part of me there.

"That's none of your business." Annoyed as always by the mere sight of me, Bella folded her arms and glared, as if in challenge.

I suppressed the frustrated sigh within at the stubborn vampire in front of me. "I thought i may offer some help or support, maybe some advice on how to-"

"I don't need it." Her reply was blunt, the hint of a growl brewing. "You've done enough."

"Bella, i only wanted to-"

"I. Don't. Need. It." She repeated with a snarl, her ruby eyes were as cold as ice as her anger became visible. "Do you want a matching scar? I'll be happy to oblige."

Carefully, Edward. Alice's mental voice was full of warning as i accepted defeat, knowing we had a long way to go before she'd accept anything from me.

"I'll leave you and Alice to it." I met her glare with as gentle an expression as i can imagine, then turned to head back to the house. "I wish you well."

Bella's reply was a huff as she watched me depart, Alice glancing between the two of us uncertainly before encouraging Bella further into the forest. I listened as Bella ranted her frustrations to Alice, hating my involvement and stemming her anger.

It was never going to be an easy promise to keep. I shouldn't be surprised though; i already knew Bella and i getting along was a difficult task. I paused in my approach to the house, already hearing the support from my parents and the smugness from Rosalie. Instead, i detoured towards another part of the forest to meet Emmett while i thought back to last night.

I'd made a promise to her father, while sitting out in the rain and sharing his anguish, a promise i was determined to keep. I would find a way to help Bella adjust to this life, no matter what it took.

Thanks again for your comments and support! Sorry this was a little later than usual, i'm visiting family across the other side of the world but wanted to make sure i still posted before the end of the month :)