My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for a response, any response from Tanya. She was staring at me. I imagine if she was human her mouth would be hanging open. It would be amusing to see, if I wasn't terrified of her answer. She had already told me she loved me but this was different and it terrified me. I couldn't handle the rejection.

I raised my hands with the intention of signing something, anything, to stop this silence. Before I could sign any apology and take back what I said, Tanya grabbed my hands. The grip was light. If I wanted to pull away I could do so easily. She would never restrict my only means of communication. It was one of the many things I loved about her.

"I love you too Bella," she said softly.

I glanced at her face. I had seen her happy before but it was nothing compared to how she looked now. Maybe it was because I could feel her happiness bubbling over the bond but she looked different, lighter.

She leaned forward, to kiss me, but just before our lips met, the slider to the back yard opened and I jumped away from her. I wasn't sure why, Charlie was well aware of our relationship, though not the details. It was felt weird to be kissing her in front of him though. I didn't like the idea of kissing Edward in front of Charlie either.

"Bells, you ready yet?" Charlie called. He walked into the kitchen and looked around, a small frown on his face. "Everything okay in here?"

Tanya pulled away from me. "I'm sorry Charlie," she said. "Bella has been teaching me to cook."

Charlie looked around the kitchen. Half prepped veggies covered the island. Nothing was in the oven yet.

Sorry Dad, I signed. I'll get it done quickly. Give me ten minutes.

Charlie went to the fridge and pulled out another beer. "Take your time," she said. "I'll be outside waiting." He glanced between us. "You sure everything is good?"

He was far more observant than I gave him credit for. He could feel the tension between me and Tanya. But he didn't know what it was. I'm sure he thought we were fighting but he didn't look pleased at the idea.

We're good Dad, I told him. I can use my vampire to speed up the prep.

Tanya raised an eyebrow at what I said but didn't say anything. She simply translated the basics of what I signed.

"Okay then," Charlie said. He headed out of the kitchen leaving Tanya and I alone again.

Tanya went back to cutting the veggies. "Your vampire?" she questioned.

I should have known she wouldn't let it go.

We don't have time to talk about that, I signed in an attempt to delay the embarrassing conversation that was sure to happen.

Tanya took the knife from me and started dicing the potatoes. I used that time to gather the vegetables she had already chopped and get them seasoned and into the oven.

"I am you know," Tanya said handing me a bowl of perfectly diced potatoes. I put it on the counter so I could grab a sheet pan. My eyes met hers. "Your vampire," she clarified.

I blushed and knocked the bowl of the counter. She caught it before it could hit the ground. Luckily, nothing spilled out of the bowl. I did not want to have to explain that to Charlie. She sat the bowl back on the counter.

Can we talk later? I asked her. We need to get this done.

Tanya cupped her cheek. "We can talk later," she promised. "What do you need me to do?"

Nothing right now, I told her. I just need to get the potatoes in the oven and then in about fifteen minutes take the chicken out to Charlie.

Tanya stayed out of my way while I finished prepping the potatoes. I put the tray into the oven along with the rest of the vegetables and set a timer.

The next fifteen minutes were the most awkward fifteen minutes of my life. We didn't talk. I was staring at the oven, willing everything to cook quicker. Every few minutes I would glance at Tanya and see her staring at me with a smile on her face. She knew I was flustered and was enjoying it. Or maybe she was happy about what I told her. We had a lot to talk about.

I checked the vegetables after the timer went off. They weren't done but I was sure they would be done not long after the chicken.

I grabbed plate of chicken and handed it to Tanya. The chicken was already marinated so there was no need for anything extra. She kissed me cheek and took it to Charlie.

That few minutes alone gave me time to collect myself. We had at least an hour before Tanya and I would be able to talk. That was an hour of extra stress I didn't want or need. I knew nothing bad would happen. I felt it in her emotion when I told her I loved her. But I still didn't know where we stood. Was anything going to change between us? Did I want anything to change between us?

Things were already changing, I realized. Physically it was slowly changing but that didn't bother me. It was only a matter of time before we had sex. I knew that and it didn't bother me as much as I expected. I still wasn't ready but I knew I would be.

There was something else that was changing. When I thought of the future, I included Tanya. When I thought of college, I thought of whether or not Tanya could go outside. I still wasn't thinking about being a vampire even though I was certain it would happen at some point. But I wasn't in a rush. I was eighteen, she was physically twenty-five. That gave me at least seven years before it needed to be a concern.

Tanya's arms wrapped around my waist, her chin resting on my shoulder. "I'm sorry for teasing you," she muttered in my ear.

I shook my head. You didn't. I... I wasn't planning on saying that. Not right then.

Tanya's arms tightened around me. "I know," she said. I shouldn't be surprised she knew. When it came to me, she always seemed to know. "That's why I was so surprised when you said it." She spun me around so I was facing her. "Why did you say it?"

I've felt it for a while. I would be honest with her. I owed her that, and myself. But watching you, cutting vegetables. It was so… human. It made me realize it was something I could do forever, however long that lasts for me.

Tanya nodded. She gently stroked my face. "I love you, so much," she said almost too softly for me to hear.

I leaned into her touch. I wasn't afraid of the affection. In fact, I craved it. I love you too.

Tanya beamed. I was certain I could say it repeatedly and she would be just as happy each time. "Are you going to tell your father about the change in our relationship?"

I cringed at the thought. I didn't like talking to Charlie about my dating life. Charlie never liked Edward. He liked him even less after the James incident. Charlie barely liked Tanya. If he found out we were actually in a relationship? I imagine he would like her even less than before.

Not yet, I told her. I'm not trying to hide it but there's no reason to tell him. We already spend all of our time together. I'm not trying to hide you, I signed quickly. I had to explain my reasoning to her. I needed her to understand. But if Charlie knew… he wouldn't want you staying in my room at night.

I felt a little guilty about lying to Charlie. He definitely would not be happy with me sleeping in the same bed as Tanya if we were in a relationship. But we weren't doing anything inappropriate and that eased my guilt.

"Okay," Tanya agreed. "I won't say anything to him. But he deserves to know at some point."

I'll tell him, I promised. Just not right now.

I checked the vegetables again. They weren't quite done so I added an extra five minutes to the timer.

"Is there anything you would like me to do?" she asked.

Set the table, I suggested.

Tanya moved around the kitchen like she did this all the time. She pulled out everything we needed: plates, cups, forks and knives. She even remembered napkins.

The slider opened again and Charlie came back inside. I could hear some talking and then the slider opening and shutting again. Tanya came back into the kitchen holding the tray of chicken. "Your dad is shutting down the grill. He asked me to bring this to you."

Can you put it on the table? I asked her.

I checked on the vegetables one last time. They were finally done so I pulled them out and sat the trays on the counter. Each tray of veggies was dumped into a separate glass serving bowl. I took the two bowls to the dining room, just as Charlie came back inside.

"It's getting cold out there," he announced. "It's starting to snow too." He frowned. "Eat Bells. I want to get that grill cleaned up before the snow comes down too hard."

"Sit Charlie," Tanya said, redirecting Charlie to his seat. "I'll take care of the grill."

"It's getting cold Tanya. You're not even dressed for winter," he pointed out. I snorted and he looked at me.

"Charlie, I'm a vampire," Tanya gently reminded him. "Temperature means nothing to me. Let me take care of the grill for you. It'll only take me a couple minutes and I'm not at risk of getting sick."

She disappeared outside before Charlie could stop her.

We sat at the table and served ourselves. I piled my plate with mostly vegetables and the smallest piece of chicken on the tray. My appetite had been coming back slowly since the move to Alaska, more specifically since I met Tanya, but I still couldn't stomach large meals. Charlie had mostly chicken on his plate but still a healthy portion of vegetables. I knew he was more of a steak and potatoes kind of guy. I was glad he was following through with his promise to eat a bit healthier, at home at least.

"It's good Bells," Charlie said before taking another bite of broccoli.

Thanks, I said. Chicken's good too.

"Are you okay with me grilling more in the future?" Charlie asked.

I nodded. Why didn't you grill in Forks? I couldn't even recall if he had a grill in Forks. I mentally cringed. My life in Forks had been so focused on Edward, it left little room for anything else. That was not healthy.

"I used to grill in La Push a lot," Charlie admitted. "When you moved here, you mentioned you wanted to take over in the kitchen. I figured you didn't want me to help." He looked at his plate. "I'm sorry Bells. I should have helped more. Maybe if I had…"

I sighed. This wasn't the best way for us to have this conversation. Charlie was learning sign language btu I still had to sign slowly and spell most things for him to understand.

Dad, there's nothing you could have done that would have stopped what happened with Edward, I told him. I loved him and all I wanted was to be with him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for choosing you over him. I'm sorry for lying to you and for everything I said to you before I went back to Phoenix during Spring Break.

Charlie stared at me. He was confused. "I'm sorry Bells, I didn't understand most of that," he admitted. He looked so upset that he didn't understand.

"That's okay Charlie," Tanya said walking back into the room. "I can translate, if you would like, Bella."

Tanya's hair was damp. I could see some snow flakes, in her hair and on her shirt. I wanted to wrap a blanket around her but it was pointless. She wasn't cold. It was unlikely the wet clothes bothered her either.

"Bella?" she questioned. I nodded.

Tanya translated what I said to Charlie. "It's okay Bella," Charlie said when Tanya was done. "This is our fresh start."

Fresh start, I agreed with a nod.

"The snow is getting worse," Tanya told us. "There will be at least two inches by morning."

Charlie nodded. "Will you be okay taking Bella to school tomorrow?" he asked.

Tanya raised an eyebrow at him. "I have perfect reflexes Charlie," she reminded him. "My car is also equip to deal with the snow. Even if it wasn't, I could run her to school. Will you be okay getting to work?"

Charlie looked taken aback by the question. I don't think he ever expected Tanya to care about him. He assumed she was only there for me. And while that was mostly true, she always considered Charlie's safety. "I'll be fine," Charlie responded.

The rest of dinner was silent. Tanya excused herself to dry off while we finished eating. When dinner was over, I packed up the leftover food while Charlie did the dishes. I had planned to do them myself, but Charlie insisted, like he usually did when I cooked. He said it was only fair that we shared responsibilities.

It wasn't until I headed upstairs for the night that I realized Tanya never came back downstairs. I pushed open to the door to my room and found Tanya on my bed. She had changed into an oversized sweatshirt and sweats. She never wore anything less than pants and long sleeve so I didn't get cold when sleeping beside her.

"Did you enjoy dinner with your father?" Tanya questioned.

I tore my eyes from her body to look at her face. She was smiling at me. She was always smiling at me so that was nothing new.

I nodded. It was nice to get some things off my chest. I've felt so guilty for how I treated Charlie last year and I never actually apologized to him for it.

"Your father loves you very much," she said softly.

I knew that. I didn't always believe it but I knew it. I eyed her outfit. Are you comfortable wearing sweaters and pants all the time?

Tanya frowned. "What do you mean?"

You never wear shorts, or short sleeve shirts.

"My skin is too cold Bella," Tanya said. She finally realized what I was talking about.

I moved over to her side after shutting my bedroom door. I grabbed her hand briefly before letting go so I could sign. Your cold skin doesn't bother me. It's a comfort. As long as there's some extra blankets, I'll be okay.

"We can try it," Tanya agreed. "If you get too cold, I'll put my sweater back on."

She leaned forward and pulled her sweater off. She was wearing a tank top underneath the sweater. I was suddenly very glad she was so strict about boundaries. I hadn't considered the possibility of her wearing nothing underneath the sweater.

"Bella," she said reaching out for my hand. Her hand hovered over mine. She didn't touch me. She was waiting to see how I would react, to see if she pushed too far.

Give me a couple human minutes? Tanya nodded.

I grabbed my pajamas and headed to the bathroom. I went through my nightly routine as quickly as I could while still being thorough. I grabbed my dirty clothes and dropped them into the hamper before heading back to my room.

She offered me her hand again. I took it and crawled onto the bed beside her. I laid in her arms, my head on her shoulder. Her cold arms wrapped around my body and I felt at peace. Thank you.

"Not too cold?" she asked.

A little cool but I like it. She ran her hand down my back. Would you ever leave Alaska?

When I thought about my future, I didn't always consider being in Alaska. As much as I was starting to love Alaska, it wasn't where I pictured living. It was a possibility that would change in the future.

"Bella," Tanya said. "I can feel your anxiety rising. Look at me," she commanded gently.

I met her eyes. Tanya shifted our bodies so I was no longer on top of her. Instead, we were laying face to face, with just enough room between us so I could sign.

"Bella, I will follow you anywhere, if you want me to," she muttered. "If you want to leave Alaska to go to college, then you should go. Don't worry about what I think or what Charlie thinks."

What about the others? I asked. I wouldn't be selfish, no matter how much I wanted to be. You're the coven leader.

"Yes I am," Tanya agreed. "But the others will be fine if I leave for a while. A few years is nothing to a vampire. They won't fault me for it. And, if something happens, I can return."

What if I chose Texas or California? I had no desire to go to either one but both locations were not vampire friendly.

"Then you would have a girlfriend that could only go out at night, which would undoubtedly cause vampire rumors," Tanya replied with a smirk. She was enjoying this. "I could always go back to bartending," she added thoughtfully.

Girlfriend? I raised an eyebrow at her.

She ran her hand through my hair. "Girlfriend is a socially acceptable, human term of endearment. Does it bother you?"

I shook my head. It sounds nice and normal.

"Well, you've picked the perfect person for that," Tanya joked.

Yeah, Irina is perfectly nice and normal. Tanya growled. Only kidding. I love you. I don't need anyone else.

She shifted forward and her lips brushed against mine. "I love you," she muttered. She gently placed her hand over my heart. She leaned forward to kiss me again but I pulled away.

Charlie?

"He's still cleaning up the kitchen," she replied.

I nodded and she pressed her body against mine. I had never been this close to anyone. In Phoenix there was no one I was interested. Then there was Edward, who would never have risked getting this close to me. Tanya had no such fears. Her only hesitation was centered around my boundaries. I was beginning to hate the boundaries I had constructed.

"Is this too much?" she whispered to me.

I looked in her eyes. I'm okay.

She took my hands in hers. "You can touch if you want, whenever you want," she muttered. "Whatever you're comfortable with. There's never any pressure."

I lifted my hand and placed it on her chest, over her heart. It was silent and it always would be. I didn't need to feel her heartbeat. I could feel the bond, the bond that connected my heart to Tanya's, even if it didn't beat. I always knew what was in her heart.

"Does it bother you?" Tanya questioned.

I shook my head. I removed my hand so I could sign. No. Even if your heart doesn't beat, I can still feel it. I can always feel it.

"The bond," Tanya said in understanding. She put her hand over mine. "For centuries I wondered what it would be like to have a mate. I watched Eleazar and Carmen and Carlisle and Esme be happy. I feared there was something wrong with me."

There is nothing wrong with you. Signing with her body this close to mine wasn't easy. She seemed to understand me though.

"Thank you Bella," she said. She leaned forward to kiss me again but before her lips could touch mine, she was out of my bed and at my desk, acting like she had been there the whole time. She winked at me just as Charlie knocked at my door.

"Bells," he called, before opening the door. In Forks, he always waited for a response. Here, that wasn't possible.

His eyes darted between me, lying on my bed, and Tanya at my desk, pretending to read one of my textbooks. He always seemed to know when something was going on, even if he wasn't sure what it was.

"I'm heading to bed," he said. "Snow is coming down pretty hard so I'm going to head into work early. Drive carefully tomorrow," he finished, looking at Tanya.

"Always Charlie," she replied. She put the book she was fake reading down. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said.

As soon as the door latched shut, Tanya was back beside me in my bed. "You should sleep too, miláčik," Tanya muttered.

I rolled over so I was partway on top of her. My fingers gently traced the exposed skin on her collarbone. "Sleep my love," she said. "I'll be here when you wake."

Snow in Alaska was nothing like Forks. It was far more intense for one and it lasted so much longer. But the roads were also much better maintained.

It was Wednesday. I was driving to school for the first time in several weeks. I picked a great day to go to the grocery store. The snow had stopped but now everything was icy.

The car Kate picked out for me was sitting innocently in the driveway. Kate had brought it over at some point during the night. The keys were sitting on my desk. The key had a Toyota symbol on it but that was all I knew about it.

I was starting to regret my decision to drive alone. Tanya had already left after waking me up. She was helping Irina at the shop before a quick hunting trip. I had asked her why she seemed to hunt more now than before but she hadn't answered. The answer I had gotten from Irina on the other hand, made me blush and I regretted starting that conversation.

At Tanya and Charlie's recommendation, I left thirty minutes early. It only took twenty to get to school but both said it was safer to go slow and leave early. I followed their advice, they were the experts after all, and left almost an hour early. I could always read if I got there too early.

It was a lot easier to get to school than I expected. To the point that when I headed to the grocery store, I was confident everything would be fine. Everything was going fine. I should have known it wouldn't last.

There was something about driving home with a car full of groceries that was oddly comforting. The grocery store was about ten minutes from home but it did involve getting on the highway for a few miles first.

I pulled onto the hallway and started the slow trek home. I was the only car on the road. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar flash of red. My heart dropped. My eyes darted to the left where I saw that red. There was nothing there. I didn't expect there to be. If Victoria was here, she was gone now.

I turned my attention back to the road. There was a caribou directly in front of me. I jerked the wheel to the right to try and tried to avoid it. I shouldn't have done that as I slid on some ice and went off the side of the road. I tried to hit the breaks, so I could get a little bit of control back but if anything, it made it worse.

My eyes widened seconds before I hit the tree. The windshield shattered, glass hitting my face. My head snapped forward and hit the wheel before slamming back into the headrest. The airbags went off, bruising my ribs and the side of my face.

As soon as it started, it was over. I groaned as the pain set in. This was just my luck. I was going to die from a car accident after possibly seeing Victoria minutes before.

The bond, which was stretched too far for me to feel for the last couple hours, suddenly sprang to life. It was no longer stretched. It was getting closer and quick. That meant only one thing. Tanya knew something was wrong and she was running.

My right hand slid down to the seatbelt. I flexed my fingers. Nothing felt broken so that was a positive. I pushed the button and the seatbelt unlatched. I slumped forward onto the wheel. The horn wasn't going off or maybe I couldn't hear it. At this point, I had no idea.

I flexed my left hand and winced as I felt a sharp pain. I had a feeling my wrist was sprained, or possibly broken. I glanced at it but I couldn't see anything. My eyesight was blurry and there was blood dripping down the left side of my face.

I felt Tanya's presence just as she ripped off the driver's side door. "Bella," her muffled voice said. She cursed in another language. "Bella," she repeated. "Can you hear me?"

I tilted my head toward her. "Tanya," I said weakly.