TW: some self harm ideation is written towards the end of this chapter
many many thanks to BurningRosesAmongstLilies for all your help!
(Wednesday, June 21st)
The sun was just past its zenith and on its way to setting when Sirius slunk into the Hospital Wing. Not unlike a dog who knows it has done wrong, his proverbial ears pinned and tail tucked between his legs.
He knew he likely wouldn't be welcomed here, but Narcissa had said they were family. That had to mean something. It had to. Sirius needed family, needed familiarity right now. He wanted to wrap himself up in the cool tones of their magic and pretend like they were all kids again. Like the past two years and twenty-four hours hadn't happened. That they were still family and that Remus - Remus - was still alive.
"Sirius," Bellatrix greeted neutrally. The sound of her voice froze him by the door - Lily had told him his eldest cousin had been glued to Narcissa's side, but he didn't think she'd still be here.
He should've known better though. Bella was protective like that.
"Uh, hi Bellatrix," he said, taking care to shut the door softly behind him but never taking his eyes off of her. He stood there, unsure of what to do. Thoughts of family, of the familiar cool magic slipped away now that he was confronted by them.
The magic was there alright, but it wasn't for him. Hadn't been since he rejected them, since he denounced the name Black.
Sirius felt like crying.
She huffed a laugh. "Quit loitering by the door like a knob and come here," she ordered, her tone still neutral.
Before he could think better of it, Sirius obediently moved closer. Bella was the oldest, you always listened to her when she spoke. She would never harm them, never ask them to do something that could harm them. There had never been a reason (until recently) to not listen to her and do as she bade.
(She never tried to tell him to join the Knights of Walpurgis. That had been his mother's doing, not Bella's. Never Bella's.)
As he approached, he saw that Prince wasn't the only one occupying a bed. Narcissa and Regulus were unconscious in the beds on either side of him. His pace slowed, his attention bouncing from bed to bed. "Are they okay?" he asked worriedly, looking, as always, to Bella for answers. "Reggie and Cissa?"
"Yes," Bellatrix said, eyeing him inscrutably. "Merely exhausted. What brings you here, little lion?"
"I, uh, wanted to know if Cissa… handled… the ones who caused this," he said, looking from bed to bed at his brother and cousin as he picked at the loose threads at the ends of his sleeves.
"Whatever do you mean, little lion?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
But Sirius was distracted, not paying attention to the game Bella was trying to ensnare him in; Narcissa's eyes had opened. He watched intently as she slowly took in the scene before her, fogged with sleep. "Quit playing kneazle and snidget with him, Bella," she admonished softly, sitting up.
"I was doing no such thing," Bellatrix said innocently. The change in her demeanor said otherwise.
Narcissa leveled her with a look before turning her attention to him. "Sirius," she greeted.
"Narcissa," he said, worriedly taking in the dark circles under her eyes and the dull sheen of her usually radiant hair. Her magic felt sluggish and barely there. A natural spring attempting to force its way up from the earth in a dense forest; it had the potential to be a roaring river, but just… wasn't. "You look like shit."
"Charming as always, cousin," Narcissa said dryly, slipping from the bed. He cringed at his words, but his apology got stuck in his throat. She went to Prince's side and ran a hand through his hair, which he leaned into even in his unconscious state. Sirius almost felt like he was intruding. "You have a question for me?"
"Ah," he said. He gave himself a shake, his earrings jingling, and refocused on why he was there. "Uh, yeah. Did, did you deal with the people who did this?"
"Yes," she said, brushing some of Prince's hair from his face. The scars on his face were less angry than they had last night, but were still Merlin-be-damned awful to look at. "They are no more."
"Good," he said firmly. "Good."
"Thought I heard your dulcet tones, Sirius," Regulus said, his voice heavy with sleep.
"Reggie…" he said, twisting the frayed threads on his sleeves tightly around his fingers. He was unsure of how to act towards his brother whom he hadn't spoken to in nearly two years. Not kindly, at least.
Regulus gave him a hard stare. It wasn't as outright hostile as it had been any time they had accidentally caught each other's attention since he ran away. It wasn't warm and friendly either, it was… considering if Sirius had to put a name to it. But there was still an undeniable tension between the two, fueled by so many words left unspoken and several more that should not have been said.
"As much as I enjoy a family reunion," Bellatrix said, breaking the tense silence, "it's time I take my leave, now that the two of you are awake. I will be in touch soon, but do keep me informed of Severus's condition."
"Of course, Bella," Narcissa said, moving to embrace her sister. "Thank you for coming."
"I will always come if you need me," she said quietly, fiercely, and held her close. Sirius felt a pang deep in his chest and looked away. Once again, he felt like he was intruding. And what an odd sensation that was to experience with the people he grew up with. But he had purposefully pulled away from them - this distance was of his own making.
"Do not neglect your own health, either of you," she said sternly to Regulus and Narcissa, pointedly not looking in Sirius's direction. A deliberate snub. The pain in his chest deepened. "I know very well that the entirety of the castle knows by now that you invoked two Names in defense of Severus, and that you took two lives last night, Cissa. Go to the Great Hall and be seen holding your head high, sister mine. You are a Daughter of Black and you hold to the Old Ways. There was no other course of action before you but to do as you have done. You should be proud to have upheld tradition. Do not let others shame you for what you have done."
"I'll make sure she eats," Regulus promised.
"Good," Bellatrix said.
"I do not need a minder," Narcissa with a roll of her eyes.
Sirius watched as Bellatrix and Regulus exchanged a heavy look, and felt that there was more happening here than he knew. "If I can be of assistance, I will be," he said before he even knew he was speaking.
The other three turned and looked at him sharply, startling him into taking a half-step back. The cool tones of their family magic was sharp as a blade against his throat.
"Is that so?" Bellatrix asked with her head cocked to the side, looking at him as if she were trying to unravel a mystery. Which he supposed wasn't too far off from the truth. "I rather thought you wanted nothing to do with us, Itty. Bitty. Siri."
Even if he left the Family, he had still been raised with them. He could not shed that no matter how hard he tried, and Merlin had he tried. He might strongly disagree with the politics of the Family, but after last night… he felt that he had a duty to at least his brother and his cousins. And, he could admit in his heart of hearts, that he missed them. Missed the family he had been raised with.
He straightened his back and looked Bellatrix in the eye. "Narcissa is Family. If she needs me, I will assist."
"By what right do you claim her as Family?" Bellatrix pressed. Unyielding.
She was protecting them from him, he realized, and that hurt. He blinked away tears and pulled up his lessons from childhood he tried so hard to pretend weren't etched onto his bones. "By right of shared life, by right of shared blood, by right of shared magic."
"Interesting…" Bellatrix said. "You quote the Old Ways in one breath and curse them in the next. Why should I trust your word?"
"What could I possibly stand to gain from lying about this?" Sirius asked bewildered.
"Plenty of things, little lion," Bella said. "But I suppose you've never thought that way…"
She turned to look at her sister. "Could Sirius be of use?"
"Keep your friends in line around Severus," Narcissa said, her tone uncompromising. "You were not the only ones to lose a friend last night."
Tears stung his eyes again at the mention of Moony. "Done," he said around the lump in his throat.
"Swear it," Regulus insisted. "Swear on your name - one that you actually care about since you've done everything you could for the past two years to show how little you respect and care for the name Black."
Sirius's heart broke even more. "I swear," he said. "I swear by my name Padfoot and by my name Sirius, I will allow no harm to come to Lord Severus Prince from my friends."
"Does that satisfy you, Regulus?" Bella asked.
"It does," he said.
Well!" Bellatrix said, clapping her hands together. "That's settled then. I really must be off. Be well, Cissa, Reggie," she said. She turned and looked at him, the warmth that had been there when she addressed the other two was carefully tucked away. "Sirius," she said, eyeing him in an assessing manner, "don't be a dick."
"Noted," he said, his voice somewhat strained.
"Good boy," she said with a smirk, and then she left the hospital wing.
The three of them stood there in an awkward silence in her wake. Narcissa looked to Sirius. "Was there something more you needed, Sirius?"
"Could, could I sit with you for a while?" he asked. Picking at the loose threads had devolved into outright playing with the hem of his right sleeve, twisting it and clenching it with both hands. Gryffindor Tower was too… loud, but he didn't want to be alone just then. Jamie was with Pete and Lily, but it hurt to be around them just then. He couldn't look at them without looking for Remus and he was gone.
Sirius watched as Narcissa and Regulus exchanged a look. She arched an eyebrow at him in question, causing his brows to furrow.
"You may," Regulus answered through a clenched jaw at last. He sat in an armchair next to Prince's bed, back rigid, arms crossed over his chest. Narcissa watched him a moment longer before turning her attention to her Gryffindor cousin.
"If Severus wakes, you will leave immediately," she said, her tone brooking no room for argument. "I allowed you to guard him - and I appreciated your offer - but I know what you have done to him, and I will not have you causing him further distress."
"Right, of course. Thank you," he said. He hesitated only for a moment before pulling his wand and conjuring a chair to sit on Narcissa's side of Prince's bed. Sitting by his brother when he was in this state was just asking for a fight.
They sat in tense silence, Regulus pointedly ignoring his brother.
But Sirius had never been good at sitting in silence. His eyes darted between his brother, Narcissa, and Prince. He wrapped and unwrapped a thread around his thumb at least a dozen times, trying to think of something, anything to say. "Are… are you alright, Cissa?" he asked.
Narcissa pursed her lips and sank onto the bed next to Prince and laid a hand on his chest. "I will be," she answered quietly.
Sirius nodded in understanding, well, as much understanding as he could. He didn't know what it was like to take a life. He didn't know if he had the resolve to go through with something like that, even if it was on behalf of someone else. "Prince must mean a lot to you," he said, following his train of thought.
"He does," Narcissa said quietly. "He is my dearest friend."
"I hadn't realized," he said quietly, guiltily.
Narcissa pinned him with a sharp look. "I am aware. Our friendship developed not long after you ran away."
He flinched as if slapped. He had deserved that.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, hunching in on himself.
"I am not the one you need to apologize to," Narcissa said, her tone just shy of biting.
"You're right," he said.
"This is ridiculous," Regulus seethed, shooting up from his chair.
"Regulus…" Narcissa said.
"It is," he said. "It's been two years since we've had a civil conversation with my brother. Two years of vitriol and, and malice! One act of aid and spouting the Old Ways when it's convenient is all it takes to wipe the slate clean?! To absolve him of the harm he has wrought upon us?!"
"Volume, Regulus," Narcissa admonished gently. "It was no small act of aid that Sirius rendered, so yes, that is all it took to 'wipe the slate clean' for me. That does not have to be the case for you."
Regulus's eye twitched. He glared at Sirius.
"I'll go," Sirius said, standing. He knew this had been a bad idea -
"You will sit down," Narcissa snapped over her shoulder. He was sitting before he comprehended moving. "If Regulus wants you to leave, he will use his words."
Regulus gave a wordless growl at that but sat back down.
"You both are Family to me, I will not take sides," she said. She gave a pointed look to Sirius, which he took to mean 'hurry up and apologize, idiot.'
"Regulus," Sirius said. "I am sorry. I, I know that does little to fix what I broke, but I am sorry."
"You don't know how little that does to fix what you broke," he snapped, waspish. "You were our Heir and you abandoned us. You were my brother and you abandoned me."
"I know," he said softly.
"No. You don't," Regulus said. "You can't know, because you ran away. You did not experience Family Black's ire to the extent that we did when Mother found your note. That I did when Father learned that I let you go.
"You don't know what you broke, Sirius, because you were not there to see it break."
"Wh-what do you mean?"
Regulus's glare could have burned holes through Sirius. "Must I spell it out for you? We were punished after you ran away, Sirius."
"But, when Andromeda ran away-"
"Andromeda was not Heir Black!" Regulus interrupted.
Sirius looked to Narcissa, but she kept her gaze down.
"What did they do?" he asked, dismayed.
"Enough," Regulus said, tired. "They did enough."
"What can I do?" Sirius asked. "What can I do to make this right?"
"There is no 'making it right'," Regulus sneered. "What's done is done."
"There has to be something-"
"The world is not black and white, Sirius. There is not always an answer to problems. Some things cannot be fixed."
"But you're my brother!"
"That did not stop you from leaving," Regulus spat.
"Boys," Narcissa interrupted. "This is going nowhere."
"And it likely never will," Regulus snarked.
"Enough," Narcissa said, a hard edge in her voice. Regulus rolled his eyes, but gave it up anyways.
"I'm sorry," Sirius said, and by Merlin, he meant it. He hadn't really thought about the position he'd leave his baby brother and his cousins in when he ran away. He hadn't thought that his parents, their family, could get worse.
He had failed as the Heir. Failed to take care of his Family. He was a disgrace to his name, and where that used to bring a sense of pride, all he felt now was shame.
If he hadn't been such a twat, perhaps he could have shielded his brother and cousins better. If he hadn't been so bloody headstrong and self-absorbed he could have used the tutoring he received as Heir to their advantage to protect them. They had been counting on him, and what had he done? Fucked off at the first opportunity, causing as much damage as he could on the way out.
"I am sorry," he said again.
"Save your breath," Regulus said.
Sirius, wisely, listened. Regulus knew all sorts of nasty hexes he had never been afraid to use on Sirius in the past when pushed too far.
But he would make this right. Actions spoke louder than words, right? He would keep James and Peter off of Prince's back. Lily too. All of Gryffindor house, if he needed to.
He'd make sure to invite Prince to Remus's… funeral. They were friends. He'd respect that.
He could see that now. He didn't know how long Prince had fought, but the fact that he fought at all? And did not immediately kill Moony? That spoke volumes.
"How long had you been out there," Sirius asked. "Before I came along?"
Narcissa didn't answer right away, focusing instead on Prince. "I cannot say with any certainty."
"She was gone," Regulus said, "for seven hours."
She blinked and looked at him. "That is longer than I thought."
Regulus gave her a narrowed-eyed look, which had her arching an eyebrow in response. "Do not chastise me, Regulus Arcturus," she said.
"It is not chastisement, it is worry," he retorted. "What spells did you use, Cissa?"
Again, she did not answer right away and Sirius began to worry as well. The air had felt heavy around the Shack, but he assumed that had been the wards she'd been attacking. The weight of the atmosphere, a loss of time, (and threatening to kill Lily) was not painting a pretty picture. "Cissa, please tell me you didn't use black magic."
She glared at them both. "It does not matter."
"It matters!" Regulus said. "It matters. Severus would not want you to sacrifice parts of yourself for him!"
"He is worth it," she hissed back at him.
"Cissa," Sirius started. "You know the cost of that magic."
"And it was a price I was willing to pay," she retorted.
"We were told to never use it unless our life was in danger!"
"My life was in danger!" she said. "Severus is my life. We are oathbound for a reason, Siri, so do not lecture me on the use of black magic."
"Is it because of Lord and Lady Black?" Sirius pressed, his guilt rising once more. If he had stayed then maybe she wouldn't be in this position-
"Partially," she allowed. "But I will say no more - you know not to pry into oaths."
"Fine, fine… but Cissa," he took one of her hands into his own. "Mother is the one who warned me against using black magic - Walburga Black telling anyone to stop and think before using magic means it's bad."
"You think I did not receive the same warnings? That I did not weigh all of my options, fully, before cutting away bits of my psyche, my blood, my life? Then you do not know me, Sirius Orion."
"I don't understand how Prince - how anyone would be worth such a steep price!"
"You would not sacrifice parts of yourself if it meant saving James Potter? Peter Pettigrew? If it meant sparing Remus Lupin from his fate?"
"I… I don't know," he said.
"There is nothing I would not do for him. Nothing," she said.
"Cissa," Prince moaned. "Remus."
"Go, Sirius," Narcissa hissed.
Sirius darted across the Hospital Wing and out the door, head swimming with worry for his cousin and his brother. He would make this right. He would.
By the light of Ywailles and through the wisdom of Hyvret, I will make amends.
The air seized around him, freezing him in his tracks. Time stilled as pressure built and squeezed the air from his lungs. Sirius felt as if he were in the crushing grip of a giant.
He was holding his baby brother's hand for the first time. Shielding him with his own flesh.
A deep, vast presence of something encompassed him; it was everywhere, in all things. It seeped into the corridor like a dense fog clinging to the moors in the morning.
Smoke filled his lungs. He'd never be able to cough it all up. He had to make it right, make it right, make it right.
Something deep within Sirius knew It, and It knew Sirius.
Duty shackled him. Bound him. Freed him.
A low bell knolled in the near distance, far different than any of the many bells that could be heard around Hogwarts.
As the sound faded, so did the pressure.
"Merlin's fuckin balls," he wheezed, clutching at his chest. A weight remained there, and he knew it was his Oath.
》~《
Narcissa watched as her cousin left with a slight pang in her chest, but she shook it off and turned her attention to her dearest friend. "I'm here, Severus. I'm here."
"Cissa?"
"Yes, my darling?"
He blinked at her, trying to focus his eyes. He stared at her, incomprehensive. "Cissa?" he asked, his voice thin.
"It's me, I'm here," she reassured him.
He flinched as if her words had slapped him. His face screwed up in pain and grief, his magic swirling beneath his skin. "Dead, dead, dead, you're dead, you're dead."
"Severus, darling, I'm not dead," she said, taking his hand in hers, wincing at the heat of his magic, but refusing to let go. "I wasn't in the Shack, Remus didn't kill me."
"Remus," he whimpered. His magic grew more volatile, boiling under his skin. "Sorry, sorry, so sorry."
She and Regulus exchanged a worried look over him.
"Severus, my darling," Narcissa said, running a hand through his hair, heedless of the heat of his magic. "I'm okay, I'm alive."
"Dead," he said. "Dead, dead, dead."
She could feel his magic building, a suffocating anguished weight, and feared he might lash out with it. She and Regulus exchanged another worried look.
"I'll get Madam Pomfrey," Regulus said, standing.
"No need, Mister Black," Madam Pomfrey said, bustling out of her office and over to Severus's bed. "Severus, dear, can you hear me?"
"I failed," he moaned, his magic flared as he spoke, causing Narcissa to drop his hand with a hiss of pain. "Dead, dead, dead."
"I'll take that as a no then," she said more to herself. She flicked her wand at him and frowned at whatever her magic told her. "I'm going to give him a sleeping draught; it's the best thing for him now."
"Will it be a dreamless sleep?" Narcissa asked, shaking her burnt hand.
"Yes," Madam Pomfrey said as she summoned the vial from the warded cabinet.
"Thank you," Narcissa said. She watched intently as the matron carefully had the potion dance its way through the air and into Severus's mouth. It was lucky he did not fight them, as agitated as he was now.
"Spelling it directly into his stomach never works as well," Pomfrey explained as the last bit of the potion entered his mouth and he visibly swallowed it. The heat of his magic slowly began to leech back into his skin. "I believe that unless he tastes it, his body and magic rejects the potion, rendering it practically ineffective.
"I found no trace of that nightmare potion in his mouth or throat - they would have had to have given him a lethal amount for it to have affected him so. Despite his innate ability to lessen the effectiveness of potions spelled into his stomach, a lethal dose is still a lethal dose. It's likely why he is having such difficulties releasing his fears."
Narcissa and Regulus shared a dark look. She let Jugson and Avery die far too quickly.
"Will he recover?" Narcissa asked, taking his hand in hers once more, relieved to feel that his magic had calmed.
"Of that, I have no doubt," Madam Pomfrey said kindly despite the grief that clung to her. "Nothing ever keeps Severus down for long. He's a resilient lad, and I know he has you to rely on, Miss Black, which will only help his recovery." She then returned to her office, leaving the cousins alone.
They sat in silence for a moment.
"Those two gormless apes, blighted ill-bred maggots! They couldn't have done this on their own," Narcissa seethed. "I need to go through their belongings, see if there's any evidence of who helped them."
"I had Kreature seal their rooms while Bella was helping you," Regulus said. "Only a Black can enter their rooms now. I'll help you sort through their belongings to see what we can find."
"Thank you," she said.
"Of course," he said. He checked his watch. "We should go eat. Lunch is still available in the Great Hall."
"I would rather not," she said. If she were being honest with herself, she didn't want to go just because she didn't want to leave Severus's side. She did not want to face the rest of the student population after the events of last night.
"Too bad! Bella told us to, so we have no choice," he said, far too chipper for Narcissa's liking. She glared at him for it, but the glint in his eye stilled her tongue. He likely needed to mother her in the wake of speaking to his brother.
He tilted his head to the side, considering her. "Severus will be unconscious for several more hours at least, and I know you know he'd want you to take care of yourself," he said in a gentler tone.
"I hate that you're right," she said, but did not move from her place next to Severus.
"We will have to face them at some point, Cissa," he said. "Better to do it when the entire House can be there to support you. And better to do it sooner rather than later - show them you're not ashamed of your actions."
She rather doubted Slytherin House actually supported her. It was far more likely that they feared her, and feared what she might do to them should they not support her. But it was the way of Slytherin House to present a united front outside of the Common Room. She could count on that, at least. "Very well," she said reluctantly. "But I'm going to have a word with the Matron first. I want him moved to one of the private rooms that I can ward."
"I'll ward it. You're to take it easy with the spellcasting," Regulus said.
"Fine," Narcissa said. She didn't care who laid the wards, so long as Severus was protected. She walked over to the Mediwitch's office and knocked. She waited until Madam Pomfrey called for her to enter before opening the door.
"What can I do for you, Miss Black?"
"I'd like to move Severus to a more secure room," she said. "I cannot ward the Hospital Wing to keep everyone else out, but I fear for his safety if left without protection."
The matron's face took a hard line when Narcissa voiced her request, but she complied. "Very well," she said. "You'll not be warding any rooms, however, not in your current condition."
"Regulus will," Narcissa amended.
Madam Pomfrey gave a brisk nod. "There is a private room just across from my office, I will move him there."
Severus was moved, bed and all to the private room as promised. Regulus was walking around the inside of the room, tracing runes onto the walls at the cardinal points to anchor the wards to, muttering to himself all the while.
"You will need to grant me access through these wards," Madam Pomfrey said, watching Regulus work.
"Of course," Narcissa answered for her cousin. She was familiar with the ward he was laying, and approved of his choice.
It took him several minutes, but Regulus soon exited the room with a pleased smile on his face. "There! All set. I shall know if anyone enters the room, and if they harbor even a trace of ill intent towards our dear friend they shall be ejected, posthaste, with the appropriate amount of prejudice."
"I do hope they won't be sent flying through the door of my office, Mr. Black," Madam Pomfrey said. He merely smiled in response, showing too many teeth. She shook her head at him. "Will I be able to enter?"
"Of course, Madam," Regulus said. "You harbor no ill will towards Lord Prince." He shifted his attention to Narcissa. "Shall we go to lunch?"
"I suppose so," Narcissa said.
"Good," Regulus said, looping their arms together. "I'd hate to find out what Bella would do to me if I didn't make sure you ate." Narcissa rolled her eyes at him as he steered them out of the Hospital Wing.
Regulus kept up a stream of inane chatter about his OWLs the whole way to the Great Hall. They passed only a few students on their way, but they all gave the cousins a wide berth before fleeing. When the fifth student backed away fearfully and took off running, Narcissa came to a halt.
"This is ridiculous," she hissed. "Do they think I will start killing indiscriminately?"
Regulus gave her arm a gentle tug to get her walking again. "It doesn't matter what they think, Cissa, that isn't something we can control. What matters is how you react to their behavior."
"I know," she said crossly. "I was there for that lesson as well, cousin."
He gave her a chiding look. She squeezed his arm in a silent apology. "We'll find Corban and see what he can tell us of the situation, and what the rumor mills have been turning out," he said.
"I wonder what, if anything, the Headmaster said," Narcissa said. "He was also there - he arrived before McGonagall and Sirius's band of friends. He saw the scene in the shack, and he heard my vow."
"If he's as smart as everyone thinks he is, he'll have kept his mouth shut," Regulus said.
"Given the reactions of our… peers," she sneered the word, disdain for her fellow students palpable, "I wouldn't bet on that."
She could hear the din coming from the Great Hall before she saw the doors. She slowed their pace to compose herself before entering. It obviously wasn't in an attempt to delay the inevitable.
"We are Blacks," Regulus murmured. "You acted in accordance with what our Family stands for, our beliefs, and the Old Ways. If the fools within the Hall cannot see that, then they are not worthy of our attention. They are beneath us."
He was right. Narcissa knew that. So why was she hesitating? She would have to face the population of Hogwarts at some point - hiding was not an option. So why?
Perhaps the state of her magic is what caused her hesitation. She could not defend herself, after all. She knew that Regulus would without hesitation, should someone pull their wand on her. But she wasn't used to being quite so vulnerable as she currently was.
It would be fine. Taking in a deep breath, Narcissa strode into the Great Hall and made her way towards the Slytherin table. At first her presence went unnoticed, but a hush spread throughout the hall like Fiendfyre as her peers noticed her and hissed at those around them. Only the Slytherin table was unaffected, at least on the surface. She could see the fear they harbored for her lurking.
She kept her head high and posture relaxed, as she had been taught from a young age, and sat across from Corban Yaxley.
"Narcissa, Regulus," he greeted warmly. "How is Lord Prince?"
"Recovering," Narcissa answered, pulling food she had little intention of eating onto her plate.
"Did the Headmaster say anything?" Regulus asked.
Corban's face twisted into a faint sneer. "Spouted some drivel without saying much of anything, really. The story he gave was that Lord Prince and Lupin were out collecting potion ingredients in the Forbidden Forest where they were attacked by some beast, killing Lupin and injuring Lord Prince. He made no mention of Jugson and Avery, nor of a werewolf. I didn't even know that Lupin was killed last night, but I suppose it provides a decent enough coverup for the attack."
Regulus and Narcissa exchanged a glance, but kept quiet on the topic of Lupin. He was Severus's friend, they would not be the ones to expose his secret.
"Then what's with the… warm welcome?" Regulus asked, casting a look around the Great Hall. The other students were slowly returning to their meals, but were clearly keeping an eye on them.
"That," Corban said, "has to do with the Head Students."
"Ah," Regulus said.
"Potter has been frothing at the mouth, baying for revenge for his mate Lupin. He's thrown the blame at Lord Prince's feet. Evans has been letting everyone know that you, Narcissa, are a short step away from committing multiple homicides."
Narcissa narrowed her eyes. "Should I remain unprovoked, and Severus undisturbed, I have no reason to do so."
"How comforting, Cissa," Regulus drawled. "Truly, I am reassured that your murderous ways have come to an end."
Narcissa threw a grape at his head. It bounced off of his forehead harmlessly and fell to the floor. His upper lip went stiff in the way it only did when he was suppressing laughter. He got a glint in his eye and -
"Oh! Oh! Oh! I am injured! I fear I may ne'er recover! Oh, pain! Oh, agony!"
"Regulus Arcturus, you are a menace to society. All the little gods only know why it is that the Black Family has been cursed to have you as the next Head."
His eyes went wide with gleeful delight at the insult. "Narcissa Carina Vivienne!"
"I said what I said," she said, unrepentant.
Corban snorted. "You two are clearly doing better."
"We're fine," Narcissa said primly.
"We had a nap," Regulus quipped.
"I see," Corban said, a hint of humor glimmered in his eye. "Has Lord Prince's benefactor been informed of the recent events?" He asked nonchalantly. "I wouldn't want them to worry."
"Bellatrix will pass along the news," Narcissa said, busying herself with her plate.
"Good," Corban said with a nod.
"There is more work to be done, to ensure all guilty parties have been found," Narcissa said. "If you hear of anything, Heir Yaxley, I would be indebted to you if you shared such information.
"You need not ask," Corban said. "I will aid you however I can. You think there may have been others involved?"
The Slytherins sitting near them stilled, no doubt listening in, but Narcissa paid them no mind. "Jugson and Avery were not smart enough to do this on their own."
"I agree," Corban said, rubbing his chin.
"We plan to investigate their belongings," Regulus said. "If you've the stomach, could you look at the scene of the attack? Assuming the Headmaster has not dealt with it."
"I will try," Corban said. "But the old man is wily, I'd be surprised if there's anything left to be found. Speaking of, where was it?"
"In the Shrieking Shack," Narcissa said.
Corban furrowed his brows. "Interesting. Very well, I shall investigate there."
"Thank you," Regulus said.
Their conversation melted away and lunch passed with little fanfare. Only the Slytherins sitting closest to the Blacks flinched when they stood, the rest of the Hall took no notice.
Narcissa and Regulus were out of the Great Hall and on their way down to the Slytherin Dorms when a most unwelcome call came from behind them.
"Oi!," Potter shouted. "Black! I want a word!"
"What could that idiot want," Narcissa hissed, slowing to a stop.
"You're going to talk to him?" Regulus asked from the corner of his mouth, watching as Potter came closer. Sirius was chasing after him, brow furrowed.
"Something tells me he won't leave us alone until I do," Narcissa replied. She set her gaze on the Head Boy. "What do you want, Potter?"
"Where's Snape," he asked, breathing heavily.
Narcissa and Regulus both shifted, their full attention bearing down on him. "The location of Lord Prince is no concern of yours," Narcissa said, her tone frigid.
"Oh yes it is!" Potter snapped. "He killed Remus! He needs to answer for what he's done!"
Narcissa's wand was in her hand, the now familiar simmering burn of Power touched her briefly. "I have handled the situation, Potter. Do not turn yourself into another of my victims with your fool headed arrogance and misplaced accusations."
"James," Sirius said, finally catching up. "James, I told you-"
"All you have is their word," Potter cut him off. "Since when have you believed the words of a Slytherin?! And! She just threatened me!"
"I told you," Sirius said, gripping his upper arm. "Prince is just as much of a victim as Remus-"
"No!" Potter yelled, throwing Sirius's hand off of him. "No! Remus is dead, he's dead! And it's Snape's doing! Snape killed him! You saw it too! We can't let that stand! We have to do something about it, since nobody else is!"
"James Fleamont, pull your head out of your fuckin' arse," Sirius snapped. "I told you, Narcissa handled it."
Narcissa wasn't sure who was more surprised, herself or Potter.
"But-"
"No," Sirius interrupted. "I warned you James, I told you to leave them alone. If you don't drop this, I will hex you."
"Since when do you care about Slytherins?" James asked.
"I care about my family and those close to them," Sirius shot back.
Narcissa chanced a look at Regulus and he was as stony faced as she feared. She reached for him and indicated they should leave. He gave a terse nod.
Sirius had this handled.
They could hear the two Gryffindors bickering all the way down the hallway until they turned the corner.
"I did not anticipate Sirius to follow through on his word," Regulus said quietly.
"Even though you made him swear on his name?"
"I thought his dislike of us would outweigh his attachment to his names."
Narcissa pursed her lips, considering how best to respond. "Sirius has always cared for us, but he was sorted into Gryffindor for reasons beyond just infuriating your mother. He is brash, and he does not think of the consequences of his actions until he's slapped in the face with them. I believe his remorse over the pain he caused us to be sincere. And Sirius always has done everything he could to fix his mistakes."
Regulus hummed.
"I will never say so to his face, but I am… glad he ran away. Mother would have killed him if he stayed. He is annoying and infuriating, but he is alive. I love him and hate him in equal measures, but I cannot fault his singular instance of self preservation despite the pain it caused us."
"I know," Narcissa consoled.
》 Furius Draconis II 《
Bellatrix knew better than to keep information from the Dark Lord. Too many people had witnessed what her baby sister had said and done. Being the first to bring it to him gave her the chance to spin it in their favor, however. She hoped she was the first to bring it to him. She had sat by Severus's side for a while.
"Lestrange," she greeted. "Where is our lord? I must speak with him."
"Leithfold," Lord Lestrange greeted her with a respectful bow. "Our lord is in the ritual chamber. He is not to be disturbed."
Damn.
"I fear this is news that has waited too long as it is," she said.
"You risk none but yourself should you interrupt him," Lestrange warned.
"Then I risk myself," she said. He would want to know about Severus. He was… possessive of his Dragon in a way that distantly worried her.
"Very well," Lestrange said.
Bellatrix swept past him and made her way to the ritual chamber. She paused before the door and took a deep breath to center herself. Between one breath and the next, she sunk into her occlumency. Any thoughts the Dark Lord might view as traitorous got shoved deep within her psyche.
She entered silently and couldn't help but glance at the ritual the Dark Lord was performing. Her stomach turned at the sight.
She ruthlessly shoved her nausea away and knelt deep enough for her forehead to touch the cold stone floor.
The air reeked of blood. The power in the room weighed on her lungs and made the hair on the back of her next stand on end.
Mutilated bodies were in the ritual circle - rituals involving human sacrifice weren't good. They could bestow unimaginable power, but there was always, always an equal and horrific cost. The Black Family had tomes on such rituals, but the price of them were deemed too high to be practiced.
The runes drawn on the floor had been unfamiliar to her, which did nothing to soothe her growing unease. What was he doing?
"I thought I made it clear I was not to be disturbed," the Dark Lord said.
"I have news for you, my lord. It's about your Dragon," Bellatrix said, keeping her forehead on the floor. "He was injured. Attacked."
"By whom?" he asked, his voice dangerous.
"The younger Jugson and Avery," she answered. She hesitated just a moment before adding, "They've been dealt with."
"You denied me the pleasure of doing so?"
Sweat, she was sweating. This could be bad. "Not I, my lord, but my sister. They are Oathbound. Her honor demanded it of her."
Silence.
"Your ssssister," he hissed, tone sibilant. Bellatrix tried not to tense. Any sign of unease or weakness could be the death of her and her sister.
Another strained moment passed. "Tell me, how isss my Dragon?"
"Unconscious, when I left," she answered. "He was cornered by a werewolf. We are uncertain if he was infected or not."
Glass shattered. Bella was lifted from her kneeling position by a hand in her hair, snapping her head back. An involuntary gasp of pain escaped her.
"How did thissss happen to my Dragon?" His eyes were red - a sign of delving deeply into the dark arts - into black magics. What was he doing?
"I do not know the full story yet, my lord," she gasped. "Just that Jugson and Avery somehow trapped your Dragon behind blood wards with a werewolf."
He threw her to the ground. "You will learn the resssst of the sssstory. Do not show your face here again until you do."
"Yes, my lord," she said, recovering her kneeling position.
"Leave me," he ordered.
"Yes, my lord," she said and left the ritual chambers. She did not dare take another look at the circle he went back to drawing. She likely would not survive doing so.
She would need to return to Hogwarts to help Cissa and Reggie investigate. She couldn't wait for them to do this on their own. And if it provided her an opportunity to confer with her sister and cousin on the runes she saw, all the more reason to go.
》Furius Draconis《
Narcissa and Regulus continued their descent into the castle, heading for the Slytherin Dorms. Upon entering the common room, they found Professor Slughorn arguing with Kreacher.
"Now listen here, those trunks belong to the Jugsons and Averys. It is the least I can do to return their sons' possessions to them."
"Kreacher won't let you. Master Regulus ordered it so," the house-elf refused.
"What is the meaning of this?" Narcissa asked.
"Mister and Miss Black!" he said in surprise. "Why are you not at lunch?"
"I had my fill," Narcissa dismissed, stalking closer. "What is the meaning of this?"
"Miss Black, I must return the belongings of Misters Jugson and Avery to their families," he said.
"You will not," she said, her voice frigid. "I will do so at my leisure. Jugson and Avery insulted House Black and I am not finished with my retribution. Do not interfere in the business of House Black, lest you wish to be on the receiving end of our ire."
Her Housemaster audibly gulped. "Very well," he said. "Forgive my intrusion. Please excuse me."
"You're excused," Narcissa sneered.
"You are one scary witch," Regulus said as they watched Slughorn beat a hasty retreat out of the common room. Not many of their peers held their Housemaster in high esteem, fangless as he was.
"I'm an irritated witch," she said. She turned to look at her cousin's house-elf. "You serve the Black Family well, Kreature. I am proud of your service."
"Kreature lives to serve," the house-elf said, bowing low enough that his nose brushed the stone floor.
"Show me to their dorms; I must investigate."
"Yes Mistress, this way Mistress," Kreature said.
She and Regulus followed after the house-elf to two rooms near Severus's room. Cassandra came hurtling out of his room, hissing and spitting, stopping them in their tracks.
Narcissa slowly knelt down in front of the incensed Jevabowwan who eyed her with extreme distrust. "Severus was injured," she said in a calm voice. "He's in the hospital wing and could use your company."
Cassandra hissed but took off running, claws skittering on the stone floor.
"What'd you say those creatures are again?" Regulus asked faintly.
"Jevabowwan," Narcissa said. "Kneazles spliced with dragons."
Regulus looked at her for a moment before asking, "Why…?"
Narcissa shrugged and continued on her way, entering the dorm that Kreature stood in front of. "Severus refused all other familiars. I decided he needed one and so got him one that suited him best."
"A kneazle-dragon suited him best?" Regulus questioned, following her.
"They are incredibly loyal and protective. A better judge of character does not exist. Cassandra adores Severus. Tell me you can think of a familiar that is better for him."
Regulus threw his hands up in defeat, moving on from the conversation. "You check the trunk and I'll check the desk?" he suggested.
"You can check the trunk and I'll take the desk. I have no desire to see their underclothes."
Regulus grimaced. "Yeah, me neither." A look from his dear cousin had him doing as he was told.
They searched in silence and left nothing untouched. They had been thoroughly trained as children on how to quickly find things people didn't want found. All the best blackmail were items that owners never wanted to see the light of day, and sometimes you'd only have a few moments to find it.
Their diligence paid off. Narcissa found a stack of parchment hidden under a weak notice-me-not charm with a well placed revelio.
"Regulus," she called.
He looked up from the mess of dirty clothes. "Oh thank Merlin, Avery's trunk smells."
She held the parchments so he would be able to read alongside her. They were unsigned letters, but Narcissa recognized the handwriting.
Lucius.
The more they read, the clearer the picture became.
"He helped them," she seethed. "That bastard helped them! If I ever see that fucking smug face again I will have him on his knees begging for mercy."
"I'll send Bella an update including this," Regulus said.
"I will kill him," she said in an eerily calm tone. Her white-knuckle grip on the letters belaying her rage.
"The Dark Lord will kill him for this," Regulus said, shaking his head. "This is not something we can keep from him."
"Does the will of the Dark Lord outweigh the Old Ways?" she snapped.
Regulus shot a nervous look towards the open door. "Cissa, it isn't safe to question that," he whispered urgently. "Not here."
She looked away from him, disgusted. "Nothing is above the Old Ways. The Dark Lord surely must bend to them as well."
"I know," he said. "Just… don't question the Dark Lord where others can hear you, it wouldn't end well."
"Fine," she said testily. "But that man is dead."
"Obviously," Regulus said. "Come, let's go write Bella a letter."
》Furius Draconis II《
(Thursday, June 22nd)
Severus was in the dark. A comfortable bed hugged him, heavy blankets pinned him down.
Indiscernible whispers echoed in his ears, plaguing him. Something… Other floated at the edge of his consciousness, existing only in the corner of his eye. It watched. It waited. It hungered.
He wasn't sure if he was alive or dead, or which was preferable.
He couldn't quiet his mind. His entire life flashed before his mind's eye and he was helpless to stop it; like a passenger on a runaway train. Snippets of events, conversations he should know, should remember, taunted him. They were jumbled, out of order, incomplete.
Memories of past experiences that shaped him were foreign to him. Cutting words wounded him anew.
Bespectacled horror of Hogwarts. Cruel grey eyes.
Green eyes, green eyes. Eyes of a friend, eyes of a monster.
Golden hair, loving gaze, warm embrace.
Who were these people to him?
He didn't know, he didn't know. He just wanted it to stop.
He threw the covers off of him, drenched in sweat. He stood on wholly unstable legs, panting. His eyes struggled to adjust to the dim room. Where was he?
He shuffled forward and ran into the wall. Following it with his hands, he eventually found the door. It opened with the barest touch and he was met by more darkness, but a familiar smell. A surge of memories flooded him, overwhelmed him.
Pain, pain, so much pain. Blood and broken bones. The light of a friend visiting. The comfort of healing magics. Warm, earthy scent of tea. Biscuits kept just for him.
The Hospital Wing.
He made it to the bathroom and stood before the mirror. He did not recognize the face that stared back at him.
Killer. Murderer.
The hair was too long, the eyes too dull, and the face… less said about the face was better.
Deserve the reminder. The reminder that you killed Remus. You killed your friend.
Who was Remus? Why did that name cause him so much grief and sorrow?
Green eyes sparkling in mirth. An easy smile. Chocolate and sweaters. Wading in the creek. A mossy bed, a nap in the sun. Safety. Warmth. Friendship.
Severus punched the mirror, shattering it. Satisfying pain blossomed in his hand. It served as an anchor for his drifting mind.
It served as punishment for killing Remus.
He looked dispassionately at his bloodied hand. There was a shard of glass sticking out of his knuckle.
Take it and make yourself bleed. You don't deserve to heal.
That's right. He killed Remus. He should suffer -
"Severus? Darling, are you in there?"
He froze. He knew that voice. How did he know that voice?
Golden hair. Blue eyes. Brightest smile he had ever seen. Infectious laughter. Poise and grace. Warmth he had never thought possible.
"Severus, I'm coming in."
He wasn't prepared for who was behind the door.
Narcissa. Narcissa. Narcissa.
He crushed her into a hug. Shaking, he was shaking. Who was she to him?
She was his everything and she was dead.
"Is this real," he asked, his voice hoarse.
"It is, my darling," she replied, she hugged him back just as fiercely. "I'm here, I'm alive."
"Dead, I saw you dead," he said. "You're dead, he killed you... I killed him. I didn't want to, green eyes. He wouldn't have liked what was there, what happened. Killed him so green eyes wouldn't see."
"I'm not dead, my love, I'm not dead," she soothed. "I was never there. You were dosed with the Nightmare Potion. Whoever you saw die, they were not me, only made to look like me."
He digested that information. He knew the Nightmare Potion. How did he know it? Had any of it been real? "Is… is he dead?" he asked, hopeful.
She tightened her grip on him. "He is, I'm sorry my love," Narcissa said.
His legs gave out, taking him and Narcissa to the floor. She tried, tried to soothe him, but he was inconsolable.
"Green eyes, green eyes, I'm sorry green eyes," he cried, rocking back and forth. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. Tried to save you. Failed, I failed."
Voices, more voices, but he didn't care. He had failed. He had killed his friend.
Unconsciousness took him before too long.
The next time he awoke, he was in bed again. Narcissa sat beside him, his hand held in hers. The Otherness was less pressing, his mind calmer, quieter.
"Hello, my darling," she greeted softly. Blue eyes soft with affection.
"Narcissa," he breathed out. "You're here."
"Of course I am, my love," she said, running a hand over his hair. "How are you feeling?"
He didn't answer her question. Didn't know how to.
"What happened," he asked instead.
She looked at him, searching for something in his face, running her hand through his hair all the while. "You were drugged, the Nightmare Potion. You thought I was in danger and you sought to save me. Someone made to look like myself was there and was killed. You fought… for hours. I heard it all as I worked to bring down the blood wards placed around the Shack. I was not fast enough to save you both, and for that I am sorry, my dear. I know that Remus was important to you."
"Thank you," he said quietly. "Remus, Remus had green eyes?"
"He did," Narcissa answered.
"And he was my friend?"
"Not at first, not until this year," she answered. "But yes, he was your friend. From the little I know of him, he would not blame you for what you did, my dear. You saved him from a cruel fate."
"He was the monster that haunted my dreams," Severus said. "And the idiot that stole my cigarettes. McGonagall gave me a biscuit for that."
"Did she now?" Narcissa asked, a hint of mirth in her voice.
"Mn," he hummed. "You said I was drugged."
"I did," she confirmed. "Regulus and Yaxley investigated while I tried to reach you. They discovered it was Jugson and Avery behind this plot. I killed them."
Severus stared at her, uncomprehending. "Why?"
"Why what, my love?"
"Why did they attack me? Why did you kill them?"
"I do not know their full reasoning for attacking you beyond petty revenge, but I killed them for daring to harm you. You are mine; I do not tolerate others harming what is mine, my dear."
"Oh," he said. He didn't know if that bothered him or not.
"You swore to protect me; I swore to get revenge on your behalf."
The Otherness came back with a gleeful vengeance. Pain, burning pain hammered through his skull. Memories tore through his mind like a hurricane. Someone was screaming - was it him?
Distantly he heard Narcissa call for help.
But nothing could help him. Not with the full attention of the Names of Power bearing down on him.
An unfamiliar weight settled on his shoulders, his limbs, yet it was meant to be there. It felt right for all that it was suffocating.
He was hotter than Fiendfyre, barely contained within his skin. Like dogs straining on their lines before a hunt.
He was cold, so cold. He was hungrier than he had ever been. Utterly insatiable and entirely unforgiving.
A deep bell tolled, making his ears ring, his eyes water.
The sweet scent of smoke filled his lungs, choking him. He was safe, safe, safe.
Unconsciousness took him.
this is, unfortunately, all i have written so far, but here you go! These two chapters upset the puffapod cart that was the plot points for the rest of this fic, so I'll be working on ironing that out before i can confidently continue writing. feel free to share any ideas about what might happen next 👀👀 talking about this fic with y'all helps me generate ideas and gets the ol' thinker thinking and plotter plotting
what'd y'all think of this chapter?
to Severinne Prince - if ur reading this, Bremour got me and my pillows have been dreadfully warm on both sides, but I hope u enjoy these updates and that u passed ur finals 3 (ur review on FDI made me cackle, thank u)
to NyeSnape - ur review also made me cackle, I'm glad you enjoyed it!