Let me know what you think! It's longer than most chapters are.
Regina didn't sleep much that night. Dreams, well, nightmares had her tossing and turning, and she kept waking herself up crying out. She ended up staying awake for a while in bed, because every time she shut her eyes, all she could see was Daniel. Or her mother. One after another on a loop of pain. When she reasoned that the hour was finally decent enough for getting up, she got out of bed and took a shower. She stood there numbly under burning hot water, trying not to picture her losses. The evening before had been okay; David and Henry had kept her plenty distracted. It was being alone with herself that was making her feel like she was drowning.
After she dried and stared in the mirror at her shower-reddened skin, dressed and pulled her hair back, Regina went downstairs in a desperate need for coffee. She set the pot up to brew, then turned the radio on, keeping the volume low so she wouldn't bother Henry's rest. She wanted to see David, wanted to see the dopey smile that made the skin around his eyes crinkle, and to hear his easy laughter. But, she also wanted to have him hold her and lay in bed with her like he did in the Enchanted Forest, because she knew that it could make her feel better. Less… alone.
Once the coffee finished brewing, she poured herself a mug and sat at the island to nurse it. Being awake didn't help stop her thoughts about Daniel and her mother. She'd had a flash of hope with each of them, Daniel, with seeing him physically alive again, and her mother, hearing that she would've been enough if her mother had kept her heart in her body instead of hidden away, keeping her true emotions at bay. She couldn't fathom it, couldn't bear it, couldn't forgive it. Maybe she could, one day, but that day would be far off in the future, she knew that much.
There was a soft knock at her door, and she checked the time. It was only just after six; David couldn't be here already, could he? Getting up, she headed to the door, opening it to find him. "You're rather early. I don't remember you ever getting up this long before the sun," she said lightly.
He held up a bag from Granny's. "I promised breakfast, and I knew that you wouldn't sleep well. Figured I'd bring food before you could cook and make me break my promise to feed you," he answered with a grin.
Regina stepped to the side, motioning for him to come in. "Mm, are you actually going to physically feed me, or are you just talking about bringing the food?" she teased.
Shutting the door after he stepped inside, David chuckled. "As if you'd let me." He followed her as she headed to the kitchen, her soft laughter making him smile. Setting the bag down on the island, he untied it. "Alright, I have french toast with bacon for Henry, and apple pancakes for you." He pulled out six containers.
"What else did you order? This is a lot of food." She raised her eyebrow at all the containers.
"Oh, well I got myself the deluxe breakfast."
"You eat so much. How do you possibly manage to stay so…" she trailed off.
"Hot? I know, I'm very easy on the eyes."
Regina laughed, watching him tenderly and wishing she could deny that he was already making her feel better. "Well… I don't make out with just anybody, so there's that."
"Are you saying you want to make out with me?" David teased, moving around the island to stand in front of her, closer than he probably should have.
Looking up at him, she met his eyes with her own and bit her lip. "I don't think your wife would like that very much."
"I'm sure she wouldn't like any of the times I've kissed you. Or all the other things we've done."
"And you're willing to give up everything to kiss me?"
David licked his lips, leaning down and just barely pressing his lips to hers before pulling back. "You have no idea how good of a kisser you are."
"You're something else, David," Regina said, her voice low.
He smirked. "I am aware. And you like kissing me."
"When did I deny that?"
"I wish… I wish we hadn't come back so soon." David ran his hand through his hair. "I missed the people we have here, but I would've liked to have been there longer, with you."
Regina swallowed thickly, rolling her lips together and taking in his face, the sincerity of his expression. "Well, we did far more than we should have. If we'd stayed longer, do you think we would have stopped ourselves?"
"Maybe not."
"You felt guilty when we, uh, that last night we shared."
"Yeah, I guess I did." He nodded.
Sighing, she reached to take his hand, squeezing it gently. "Where does your wife think you are?"
"I don't know. I don't know if I care."
"What do you mean?"
He shrugged, letting go of her hand to wrap his arms around her shoulders. David pulled her close, burying his nose in her thick hair, taking in the light vanilla scent and sighing softly. "We're not talking."
Regina's arms stayed at her sides for a long moment, then she brought them up, wrapping them around his waist and holding him tight, her cheek pressed to his chest. "I'm sorry, David," she answered quietly. "But why?"
"Because she killed your mother. And the way she did it was disgusting, and cruel. And I don't know how to forget that."
"She's your wife, David. She's Snow White. I hate her for what she did, but you can't use me as the reason you're mad at her. That'll really hurt your marriage. She doesn't even like that we're friends."
"It's not only that I'm mad at what she did to you. It's her. That level of cruelty when she behaves like she is above revenge, above that type of behavior."
"And yet, you're friends with me despite all of the horrible things I've done."
"Yeah, well, you changed for the better. She changed for the worse."
Regina nodded against him, then leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You'll forgive her. She's your true love, David. Don't do anything more to mess that up when you're going to forgive her and then feel guilty."
David brought his hands up to cradle her face, tipping his head down to look into her eyes. "Stop, okay? Just… let me be here for you. However you need me. I want to be here. I want to make sure you're okay. You mean a great deal to me, so don't worry about Snow. She's probably the last person in the world you should be considering right now."
Regina dropped her eyes from his gaze, bringing a hand up to cover one of his on her jaw. "It's not that I'm considering her feelings, it's that one day you may move on from this, and you'll regret giving up your true love over me. Over a friendship with the Evil Queen."
"You're not evil, Regina. After all you went through, the way you were toyed with, and abused, and manipulated… anyone would've wanted to find a way to take control, and I don't blame you for that. You are not evil, do you understand me?"
She looked back up at him, meeting his gaze once more and hating how earnestly he was looking at her. Well, she didn't hate it, she loved it. She loved it too much. "How do you have so much belief in me? So much understanding? It doesn't make sense. I could understand it when it was just us against everything in the Enchanted Forest, but everything here is fighting against me, wanting me to be ruined, to lose everything I love."
"And that's why. You don't deserve that, but you do deserve to have someone in your corner, and that's who I'm going to be. I'm here whether you agree that I should be or not. Just try to chase me away." He gave her a faint smile, tracing his thumbs along her jaw.
"You'll regret it one day, though," she murmured.
The tone of her voice cut him to the core, and he leaned down and pressed a light, quick kiss to her lips. "Not a chance," David countered. He took her in, the pain that filled her eyes despite her trying to hide it.
"I don't know that I believe that."
He shrugged. "I can't make you believe me, but I'm hoping with time that you will."
Regina pulled back from him, reaching for the container with her food. "Thanks for bringing breakfast."
"You're welcome," he answered with a shrug. "I promised, after all."
She looked at him for a long moment. "David, I'm… so confused."
"Why? What can I do to make you stop doubting how much I care for you?"
"I don't know," Regina answered honestly. "Your wife and daughter both hate me."
David shook his head. "Emma will end up seeing you in the right light. Snow, well, maybe she hates you. But do you really care how she feels?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"Not especially. But Henry does, and he'll want us to all get along. And I'm going to have to do that if I want Henry to still want to be around me."
He sat down at the island, starting to open his containers. He patted the seat beside him. "Come sit and eat. We can worry about the rest later. Nothing needs to be done now. And Henry may not mind you not getting along with her when he finds out she killed your mother. He views her as a hero."
"Who killed your mother?" Henry asked from the doorway, making them both jump slightly and turn toward him.
"Henry," Regina started, getting up from her stool and motioning for him to come closer, "How much did you hear?" Henry moved to stand in front of her, and when he was looking up at her, she wrapped her arms around him.
"Just that someone killed your mother. Someone I view as a hero."
Regina looked over at David, whose face was wearing the same expression that she knew hers was. Brows furrowed, she stepped back from Henry and rubbed his upper arms. "What have I told you about eavesdropping, Henry?" she asked softly. She didn't want to be the one to break the news to him.
"Please just tell me the truth about it?"
She nodded slowly, quickly glancing at David once more, before turning her attention back to her son. "Henry, sweetheart…"
"Please?" he said again, and, seeing Regina struggle with it, David got up, too.
"Henry, it was Snow." David crouched down beside Regina and touched Henry's shoulder.
"But… but she…"
"I know it's hard to believe, I know she's one of your heroes. But right now, she needs to work through some things, and I think it's a good idea if you stay here for awhile until she does," David answered.
Henry looked to Regina. "Is that okay?"
She gave him a soft smile, cupping his chin. "Sweetheart, this is your home. You are always welcome here anytime you want to be." Kissing his forehead, Regina stood up straight. "Now, come, David brought breakfast."
A few more days passed in much the same way. David would show up in the morning or afternoon, the three of them would spend the day together, and then he'd leave sometime after lunch or dinner in the evening, depending on when he needed to be at the station, but he always stopped by for several hours. Regina didn't question him anymore about Snow. She didn't ask if his wife knew where he was, or what he was doing.
He also hadn't kissed her again, though he'd hugged her a few times, and his touches were still easy. Her hand, her back, her side, her shoulder. His large hands always emanated warmth, even through her clothes, and while she craved it constantly, she was glad he had stopped kissing her. Her broken heart wanted the affection, but she knew she couldn't handle it when it stopped. But the way he always seemed so sincere in his enjoyment of spending time with her and Henry was wonderful. He gave attention when needed, and listened intently and willingly to everything Henry wanted to talk about.
It made her guilt about Emma even stronger. He would have been an amazing father, and watching him with Henry made her wish she had someone like that… someone who loved her son as much as she did, and who wanted to be with him. Sometimes Regina wouldn't even talk, she'd just watch them, Henry's animated expressions and David's fascinated ones.
Regina knew she needed to get Henry back into a real routine, into school and out socializing. It wasn't healthy for him to help his grandfather practically babysit his mother. She called David to come pick up Henry for school when Monday came. When he got inside, Henry came down the stairs.
"Gramps, where's breakfast?" Henry asked.
"Today is cereal, bud. Then you need to go get dressed for school and grab your backpack."
"I don't want to leave Mom."
"Don't worry, kid, I'll take care of her, now go on."
When Henry was heading down the walk to David's truck, Regina looked at David and rolled her eyes. "You'll take care of me?"
"I was placating him," he answered with a light shrug and a grin. "You know it, I know it, and he knows it. Now… I'm going to get us breakfast and coffee after I drop him off. I'll be back in less than an hour. You… stay here."
Regina arched an eyebrow. "Stay here?"
"Yes, I'll be right back."
"And I'm to… stay here? Like a dog?"
Letting out a hearty laugh, David shook his head in amusement. "I'll be back soon."
When he started the car, Henry started rifling through cassette tapes on the seat. "You need an update to your truck. It should at least play CDs."
David ruffled Henry's hair. "Put that one in," he said, pointing to the one in Henry's hand.
"Elvis?" Henry scrunched his nose.
"Elvis is a classic. And you look just like your mother when you make that face."
"Emma?" He reached forward, pushing the tape in.
"No, Regina."
"But how can I look like her?" Henry asked as the music started playing. David took a sharp breath, then cleared his throat. "Gramps?"
"Sorry, this song just uh, brings back memories." David watched for a moment as Henry listened to the song, then focused on the road and turned the music down. "You don't have to be blood related to someone to pick up their expressions. You and your mom make the same ones a lot, and it's in the little things you can see. A lot of people scrunch their nose, but when you and your mom do it, you scrunch your eyebrows, too. And a lot of the time you both tilt your head when you do it."
"Oh."
It had only been twenty minutes since David and Henry had left when Regina heard a knock on her door. Taking a deep breath to fortify herself as she headed to the door, she walked hesitantly, knowing whoever it was wouldn't be there for a pleasant visit.
When she opened the door to find Snow White, she sneered.
"You."
"Regina. Kill me. There's too many deaths between us, kill me now and end it before any more lives are lost."
Tilting her head, Regina answered, "Henry would never forgive me." The look on Snow's face made her so angry, though, hatred bubbling in her veins, under her skin. "But I never did learn from my mistakes." She shot her hand forward, reaching into the other woman's chest and tearing her heart out. She was surprised to find that the other woman didn't immediately collapse, as that's what would have happened if her own intentions, her own will, was to kill the younger brunette.
Regina examined the heart, staring into the bright red, and when she saw it, she gasped and turned the heart toward the other woman. "Do you see that?"
"What did you do?" Snow asked, tears running down her face.
"Oh, I didn't do it. You did," she gloated. "You darkened your heart when you murdered my mother. And now… now you have to live with that."
"What more can it do to me? I've lost David, I've… my heart… kill me, kill me please?" she begged, tears streaming faster down her ivory skin.
"No. You deal with this." Regina shoved the heart back into Snow's chest. "Now get off my porch." She slammed the door, closing the woman out.
Once the door was closed, Regina gasped, sitting on the steps leading out of the foyer and putting a hand over her mouth as she sobbed.
David knocked, but Regina didn't come, so he pushed the door open. Stepping inside, he shut the door and went to the kitchen, setting their food and drinks down. "Regina?" he called out, heading out of the kitchen and toward her living room. She met him in the hallway, and the broken expression on her face squeezed his heart. "Regina? What's wrong? What happened?" David gripped her arm in one hand, cupping her cheek in the other. "Are you okay?"
She looked at him as though she was dazed. "I… I did something really bad. David, you need to go see her."
"See who? What did you do?"
"Snow. Go see Snow. She'll tell you. You shouldn't be here. I'm not… David, I'm not who you want me to be." When he didn't budge, she frowned. "Go. Go see her!" she yelled. "Leave! Go!" Regina shook her head, taking a step back from him, away from his touch. "You can't trust me."
"Regina, what happened?" he asked, taking a step toward her. She backed up, though, taking a step away from him to counter his.
"Please, just go talk to her. I can't take telling you. It'll change things, so you need to go now before… just… go."
David furrowed his brow, but finally nodded. "Okay, but I'll be back. You should uh, eat your breakfast. I'll be back soon." He looked her over again, forcing a neutral expression. "Soon."
He made his way to the loft, having no idea what to expect, but desperately needing to find out exactly what Regina meant when she said she did something bad. He didn't believe it; he knew she had changed. She had changed so much that he couldn't believe she'd done anything to reverse that.
He wasn't comfortable just walking in, so he knocked at the door. There was no answer after a long moment of waiting, so he knocked again.
Still nothing. With a cursory glance around, he pushed the door open. "Snow?" he called out. "Emma? Is anyone here?" He stepped in further, shutting the door behind him. He saw a shape on his and Snow's bed, so he went over to the makeshift bedroom. "Snow?"
"David?" She sat up slowly, pushing the sheet off herself. "What are you doing here? You left? I thought…" she trailed off.
"What happened between you and Regina?" David asked.
"What did she tell you?" Snow asked, her voice sounding full of defeat to him.
"Nothing. She told me I needed to come talk to you. All she said was that she did something bad." David leaned against the wooden pillar between the bed and the kitchen.
Snow stood up. "She took my heart out."
"What?" he asked, half in a yell, disbelief filling him, and he shook his head. There had to be more. "What do you mean?"
"I asked her to kill me. She ripped out my heart." Snow started to cry. "But… she wouldn't kill me. She showed me my heart. I've darkened it. There's black in my heart now," Snow answered, her voice full of regret.
David blew out a heavy breath. "Well, where's your heart, then?"
"She put it back. She said… to deal with it. I can't handle this, David. I can't deal with the guilt. And you're not here. I've lost you, and… and I hope it's just temporary, I hope that you'll realize that I made a mistake and that you won't hold it against me. But that's not going to happen, is it?" Snow wiped the tears from her face, though he saw more following.
"Snow, I'm sorry, but no, it isn't. I told you so many times that she had changed, I asked you to trust me, and you couldn't. You wouldn't." David rubbed a hand over his face. "You don't trust me, and now… well, now I don't trust you." He watched as her tears fell faster at his words. "Snow, I love you, I have since the moment I met you. But you aren't who I fell in love with. You changed."
"Because of her!" Snow yelled.
"You can't blame bad actions on anyone but yourself. Just like she couldn't. But she has been working so hard to change, and you refused to give her the chance, even though I told you. You refused to believe me."
Snow stared at him for a long moment. "You're in love with her," she said quietly, looking at him with devastation in her eyes.
David looked at her for a long moment, not saying anything at all. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah, maybe I am."
"How could you? After all the evil she's done to us… to me?"
"Because she changed, and she's good now. You guys won't see it, and that's your problem, but Henry sees it, and I see it."
"And what? You're a happy family now?"
"That's ridiculous. She needs a friend after everything she's just lost. Her problem was never that she didn't have feelings, and I think that's what you let yourself forget. She has more intense feelings than anyone I've ever seen. That's what has contributed to every change she's made, whether it was becoming a villain, or redeeming herself for her son."
"So if you're in love with her, what's stopping you?" she asked, forehead was scrunched as she looked at him for an answer.
"Because she doesn't know. I've never told her. Hell, I don't even know when I knew. And she just lost Daniel all over again, and now her mother. I'm helping her get through that." David folded his arms over his chest. "Just because I'm not with you, doesn't automatically mean I'm with her. Don't go see her again. Leave her alone. Let her be with her son and heal before anyone else tries to hunt her down for yet another thing she had nothing to do with."
"And what happens to me, David? You're going to go off to try to be her hero, and give up on being mine? What do Ido?"
He looked at her for a long moment. "Be your own hero," he answered gently. "Take time to heal yourself. To work on this darkness in your heart that you created. And then go on. You don't need me to be your hero. And neither does Regina." Kissing her forehead, David pulled her into a hug, squeezing for a moment before letting go. "I'm sorry that I am hurting you, I really am. But this was even before the Cora thing."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Come on," he started softly, "we haven't been who we were in awhile. I know we were cursed for 28 years, and I understand that that wasn't real, but I feel the distance between us. I felt it before the curse, when you repeatedly didn't believe in me. I had to fight you to trust me, to see yourself as I saw you, to trust me that I knew what I was talking about. I've seen you trust friends more than you do me, Snow. Do you know how hard that is? I'm glad you have friends that loyal, and I hope they can help you through this. But I'm tired of fighting, Snow. I'm tired of fighting you to believe in me. You've always just viewed me as the muscle of the operations, of the challenges, but she viewed me as an equal, even though she was a queen and I was a shepherd. You only knew me as a prince. You didn't love me because of who I am, but as who you saw me as. You never knew me as anything but a prince, regardless of knowing my roots. It wasn't real to you."
"That's not true!" she argued, her face filled with hurt.
"It is. And the sooner you believe it, the sooner you face it, the better off we'll all be, especially you."
"David, it's not fair. You… you fell in love with the woman we literally spent all of our relationship running from."
David looked at her, watching the tears stream down her face, his heart aching at hurting her. "I never wanted to hurt you. I spent so much time loving you, doing everything in my power to protect you, being side by side with you in every battle, every obstacle. Even on our honeymoon, I helped you try to find some way to protect you… us… Emma. I literally was turned into stone to do so. I'm tired, Snow. I'm tired of being a prince. I want to help and save people, and that's never going to stop, but I need to also be able to have my weaknesses, and I was never allowed that. But now I am trying to do what I need to do to change that. I can't be the person who keeps saving you, or being saved by you, I need to finally be myself. I was never meant to be a prince, it was only by the unfortunate decision my parents made that I ended up that way. All I ever wanted to be was a shepherd who could save his land."
"David, I never meant… that wasn't… I… I always loved you."
"I know. And I loved you, I always will, because you gave me Emma. And I never knew what love was like before you, and I will always appreciate that, but I can't do this, I can't be your hero anymore, it's not a life I want, just being someone's something, I want to be more than just someone's something."
"Isn't that what you're doing with Regina? Being her hero? Standing guard while everyone else wants to kill her for all of the wrongs she's done?"
"No. Because she can protect herself; I don't need to be her hero, or her something, or anything else. Around her, I'm just David. I'm just the shepherd boy who wants a happy life."
Snow frowned. "And you think she'll give you that? Even though she kept us apart for decades?"
"I never said she will. I don't know that she feels how I do, she's never let me into that part of her life. I told you, she doesn't know how I feel, and I don't know that I'll ever tell her, but the fact that I could fall in love with someone else… doesn't that tell you something about us?"
"It tells me that the love I have for you isn't good enough, that it's never truly been good enough."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry to hurt you, and I certainly didn't mean to fall in love with her in the wake of everything we've gone through, but it is what it is, and I can't apologize enough for how this is hurting you, but I don't belong here anymore." David answered gently. "I think it's been awhile since I started feeling this way."
"But you woke me with True Love's Kiss. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"It means we were once very happy, very much True Loves. Snow, people change. I've changed. And you have changed. When you refused to trust me, when you cursed Cora's heart and coaxed Regina into putting it back in her chest, making Regina part of her own mother's death? That was it for me. I wanted to forget my feelings for her, I wanted to be the husband you deserved, even after my mistakes. But it just wouldn't have been enough. Not for either of us. We, well, I don't fit here anymore. I hope one day that you can love someone else. Someone who is truly what you've always wanted."
They looked at each other for a long, silent moment, then David shrugged and took a step back. "I'm sorry." Then, without waiting for a response, he left the loft.