Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, the Characters, or any Game, Movie, or TV Show content that are mentioned in this FanFiction story. They belong to their respective owners, and I honor and respect their great works.
After speaking with Lord Farquaad, Devon, the Keyblade Wielder, Shrek, the Ogre, and Donkey were now walking through a field of sunflowers and vegetable patches, heading away from Duloc. Shrek was munching on an onion in his left-hand as they walked.
"Okay, let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess, just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp, which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?" Donkey asks
"You know what? Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk." Shrek says glancing back at Donkey over his right-shoulder
"I don't get it, Shrek. Why don't you just pull some of that Ogre stuff on him? You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, you know, the whole ogre trip." Donkey says
"Oh! I know what. Maybe I could've decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, got a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?" Shrek asks
"Uh, no, not really, no." Donkey says shaking his head
"Actually, that sounds like a very descriptive cold-blooded murder." Devon says
"For your information, there's a lot more to Ogres than people think." Shrek says
"For example?" Devon asks
"Example?" Shrek says
Shrek stops and thinks for a moment.
"Okay, um... Ogres are like onions." Shrek says holding out his onion to Devon and Donkey on his right
Donkey sniffs the onion and recoils from the vegetable's odor.
"They stink?" Donkey says
"Yes. No!" Shrek says
"They make you cry?" Donkey says
"No!" Shrek says
"Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs." Donkey says
"No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers." Shrek says pulling the onion apart and throwing it down before walking off with an annoyed sigh
"Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody likes onions." Donkey says
"Who does? Besides Shrek." Devon says
"Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers." Donkey says running to catch up with Shrek
"I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes." Shrek says turning to Donkey on his right before moving on
"You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, 'Let's get some parfait,' they say, 'Hell no, I don't like no parfaits'? Parfaits are delicious." Donkey says walking alongside Shrek
"No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later." Shrek yells turning to Donkey again before waving his right-hand and whispering the last part
After saying that, the Ogre continues his walk. The Keyblade Wielder and Donkey stare at him and shared glances with each other for a moment before moving on to catch up with Shrek.
"Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet." Donkey says
"You know, I think I preferred your humming." Shrek says
"Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering." Donkey asks
"Hey, Shrek. You gotta admit. Fighting those knights back there was pretty fun. We made a pretty good team." Devon says tapping the Ogre's right-arm gently with his left-elbow
"Yeah, okay. I'll admit, it was really fun." Shrek says nodding his head with a smile
"Alright. Glad we're on the same page. Now, let's go find Princess Fiona so we can free those fairytale creatures and get your home back." Devon says
And so, Devon, Shrek, and Donkey emerge out of the sunflower and vegetable field and set off on their journey across the land, heading for an old, abandoned windmill at the top of a hill.
(I'm on My Way, by The Proclaimers - Starts)
A montage of the trio's journey plays out.
Craig Reid:
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
Devon, Shrek, and Donkey walk through a field at sunset, and a field of tall rocks at night, before making camp and sleeping beneath a bright moon.
Craig Reid:
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh
The next day, Shrek burns his right-foot trying to stomp out the campfire. Donkey helps out by lifting his left-leg and urinating on the fire to put it out before they continue onwards.
Craig Reid and Charlie Reid:
And everything that you receive up yonder
Is what you gave to me the day I wandered
Eventually, Devon, Shrek, and Donkey arrive at the outskirts of a crumbling pinnacle of rock that was an active volcano and begin to make their way across the gray craggy landscape and up the incline.
Craig Reid and Charlie Reid:
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
(I'm on My Way, by The Proclaimers - Ends)
At the volcano, Shrek walks up the slope ahead of Devon and Donkey. During their climb, Donkey gets a little too close to Shrek's backside.
"Whew! Shrek! Did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything." Donkey says waving his left-hoof infront of his nose
"Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you and Devon would be dead." Shrek says turning to Donkey on his right and pointing to himself with his right thumb
Shrek sniffs the air.
"It's brimstone." Shrek says
"Which means we're close." Devon says
"Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell and it wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither." Donkey says
The trio soon reach the top and hoist themselves up over the ridge. Shrek pulls himself up first, followed by Devon, then Donkey, and they all gaze out into a giant crater. Before them towered the Dragon's Keep, an old, dilapidated castle, burned and blackened over time. Built upon a rock pinnacle, the large fortress stood in the middle of the volcano, surrounded by a terrifying lake of molten lava with a rickety, wooden bridge hanging suspended over the moat of lava, serving as the only way leading to the castle. A single light shines in the window of the tallest tower. Dark clouds block out the blue sky above them, shrouding the area in darkness regardless of the time of day. Thunder strikes and the cries of eagles circling the castle can be heard. The site was all very ominous.
"Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location." Shrek says looking at Devon and Donkey on his right
Shrek laughs and jumps over and approaches the bridge, with Devon joining in behind him. Donkey nervously chuckles and follows them.
"Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember, uh, when you said that Ogres have layers?" Donkey says
"Oh, aye." Shrek says glancing back at Donkey over his right-shoulder
"Well, I have a bit of a confession to make." Donkey says
Donkey gasps as he passes the skeleton of a horse on his right and quickly moves to catch up with Devon and Shrek.
"Donkeys don't have layers. We... We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves." Donkey says
"Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves." Shrek says turning to Donkey on his right
"You know what I mean." Donkey says
"Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of heights." Shrek says gesturing to the bridge with his left-hand
"No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" Donkey says looking down at the lava over the cliff edge
Devon kneels down to Donkey on his right and offers him some comfort.
"It's okay, Donkey. Look, if it'll help you feel any better, I'll go first." Devon says
"No! Don't go out there, Devon! You're my best friend! I don't want you to die!" Donkey says
The Keyblade Wielder smiled at Donkey's concern and pats him on the back twice with his left-hand.
"Don't worry, Donkey. I'll be fine." Devon says
Devon rises up and looks up at Shrek, who gives him a thumbs up with his left thumb. The young teen nods his head and proceeds to walk on the bridge, holding on to the ropes. The bridge was long, perhaps forty meters across from one side to the other. The wooden boards creaked loudly under his footsteps with each step he took. Donkey watched with increasing anxiety as his human friend bravely moved across the dangerous bridge. Eventually, after a long minute of tension, Devon reaches the castle on the other side, walking off the bridge and onto solid ground.
"And... unclench. Whew..." Devon sighs
The Keyblade Wielder turns to his right and calls out to his friends.
"It's okay! Come on over!" Devon says waving his right-hand to Shrek and Donkey
"See, Donkey? Perfectly safe. If Devon can make it across, so can we. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support, we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time." Shrek says gesturing out to the bridge with his left-hand before gently slapping Donkey's backside with his other hand, urging him forward
"Really?" Donkey says glancing back at the Ogre over his left-side
"Really, really." Shrek says leaning forward and nodding his head
"Okay, that makes me feel so much better." Donkey says
Stepping out onto the bridge, Shrek and Donkey begin their crossing. The Ogre walks calmly, while Donkey walks quickly and carefully as possible.
"Just keep moving. And don't look down." Shrek says
"Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down." Donkey says nervously to himself, keeping his eyes up
Donkey's left-hoof accidentally steps through a rotting board, which falls down into the fiery lava below.
"Shrek! I'm lookin' down!" Donkey exclaims
Donkey screams and turns right to face Shrek.
"Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please!" Donkey says
"But you're already halfway." Shrek says
"Yeah, but I know that half is safe!" Donkey says looking over at the side of the crater they came from
"Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back." Shrek says
Shrek tries to press on, while Donkey tries to make his way back under him.
"Shrek, no! Wait!" Donkey says
"Just, Donkey... Let's have a dance then, shall we?" Shrek says
"Wait, Shrek... Hey!" Donkey says
"Donkey!" Shrek says
The Ogre bounces the bridge, which sways violently to his movements.
"Aaah! Don't do that!" Donkey exclaims jumping backwards in fright
Shrek noticed Donkey's change in direction and had an idea on how to get him across the bridge.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh. This?" Shrek asks bouncing the bridge again
"Yes, that!" Donkey says
"Yes? Yes, do it. Okay." Shrek says
Shrek continues to shake the bridge, while Donkey screams, backing away and keeping his eyes closed.
"No, Shrek! No! Stop it!" Donkey exclaims
"You said do it! I'm doin' it." Shrek says
"Oh, God, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die." Donkey says
Eventually, Donkey backs up off the bridge and onto solid ground. He opens his eyes, realizing the ground was no longer shaking, and notices he had reached the other side.
"Oh!" Donkey says
Donkey glances up at his left and saw Devon leaning against the bridge with his left-arm and an amused smirk on his face.
"Hi, Donkey." Devon says waving his right-hand
Donkey then looks up at Shrek as he steps off the bridge.
"That'll do, Donkey. That'll do." Shrek says lowering down and patting the right-side of Donkey's muzzle three times with his left-hand
Devon and Shrek begin their walk toward the castle. Donkey looks back at the bridge, then looks ahead, feeling proud with himself.
"Cool." Donkey says with a smile
Donkey moves to catch up with Shrek and Devon as they walk towards the castle entrance.
"So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?" Donkey asks
"Inside, waiting for us to rescue her." Shrek says
"I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek." Donkey says
The trio start making their way through the dark, spooky great hall of the Dragon's Keep, slightly illuminated by the fiery red light of the lava through cracks below the castle. Shrek and Devon are wary, while Donkey is downright terrified. The passages are littered with bones, armor, and weapons, presumably belonging to the many unsuccessful knights who tried to rescue the princess. Devon held up his crystal Keyblade: Soul Calibur as it glowed with its blue light, illuminating the way forward.
"You afraid?" Donkey asks
"No. But... Shhhhhh." Shrek says turning back to Donkey on his right and putting his right index finger to his lips, shushing him.
"Oh, good. Me neither." Donkey says
Donkey glances back over his right-side, then looks ahead to see Devon and Shrek continuing on without him. He gasps and rushes to catch up.
"'Cause there's nothin' wrong with being afraid, you know. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. I mean, with a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared, you know what I mean? 'Cause I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that." Donkey says
Donkey crashes into a pile of knight remains, knocking over a skeleton whose helmet lands on his head. The skeleton head falls off and Donkey gasps. Shrek, finally annoyed with Donkey's constant fears, turns to face him.
"Donkey, two things, okay? Shut. Up. Now, go over there and see if you can find any stairs." Shrek says holding out two fingers on his right-hand and counting them before he grabs the helmet off Donkey's head and puts it on
"Stairs? I thought we was looking for the princess." Donkey says glancing back at his right before turning back to Shrek
"The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower." Shrek says grabbing some metal shoulder pads, knee guards, and vambraces from the pile of armor
"What makes you think she'll be there?" Donkey asks
"I read it in a book once." Shrek says glancing back over his right-shoulder as he and Devon walked off, putting the face mask down on the helmet
"And don't worry about the dragon, Donkey. We'll deal with it." Devon says glancing back over his right-shoulder
"Well, cool. You guys handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'." Donkey says
Shrek, now disguised as a knight in shining armor walks off further into the castle with Devon. Donkey wanders off in the opposite direction, still talking to himself, and pushes his way through a giant set of doors, which creaks loudly.
"I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. Just like Devon's the Keyblade Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right here now. I'd step all over it." Donkey says
Behind a broken wall, a giant green reptilian eye opens to see an unaware Donkey. Not far, in the castle courtyard, Shrek and Devon spots a light in the window of the tallest tower ahead of them.
"Well, at least we know where the princess is." Shrek says
"Yeah, but where's the..." Devon says
"Dragon!" Donkey screams
Donkey takes off running, narrowly dodging the dragon's fiery breath. A large red dragon with a pink underbelly smashes through the broken wall and chases after Donkey, stomping through the pile of knight remains in its way. Shrek and Devon turn around to see Donkey barreling toward them with the dragon close behind him. The dragon rises up on its hind legs and shoots a fireball across the hall.
"Donkey, look out!" Shrek shouts pushing Donkey out of the way
"Incoming!" Devon shouts
Devon and Shrek dodge the fireball as it shoots past them.
"Aah!" Shrek exclaims
"Whoa!" Devon exclaims
Donkey drops to the floor to avoid another fireball, which manages to singe the tuft of his tail.
"Aah!" Donkey exclaims
Donkey covers his head with his legs, whimpering in fear as the large red dragon approaches, ready to devour him, when Shrek and Devon grabs ahold of its tail, causing it to glance back at them.
"Hey! Over here!" Devon shouts
"Got ya!" Shrek says
The dragon roars and stomps it's left-foot down, barely missing Donkey as he takes off running into a tower. The large creature begins to swing its tail back and forth with Shrek and Devon still holding on.
"Ah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Shrek exclaims
"Ah! Haaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! " Devon exclaims
Eventually, the dragon launches the two heroes into the air, sending them flying.
"Aaaaaaaaaaah! Oh!/Unh!" Shrek and Devon scream in unison
Shrek and Devon crash through the roof of the tallest tower and land flat on their stomachs in Fiona's room, who wakes up and looks at them lying on the floor unconscious.
Back down in the courtyard, the dragon now focuses its attention back on Donkey, breathing fire through an opening in another tower, forcing him to run out onto a stone bridge. The dragon knocks down a portion of the bridge ahead of him with its large tail, forcing him to stop. Donkey tries to run back, but the dragon slams its tail down again and again, cutting off his path. Donkey was now trapped, standing on a lone pillar. The dragon stands up on its hind legs and flares its wings wide open, roaring loudly.
"No. No. No. Oh, no, No!" Donkey screams backing away, his right hind leg slipping over the edge, though he climbs back up
The dragon growls, showing its teeth.
"Oh, what large teeth you have!" Donkey says
The dragon roars ferociously.
"I mean, I mean white, sparkling teeth!" Donkey says correcting himself
The dragon pauses, looking at him inquisitively, and then smiles.
"I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach or something, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. And do I detect a hint of minty freshness?" Donkey says smiling a bit
The dragon felt flattered by Donkey's compliments.
"And you know what else? You know what else? You're... You're..." Donkey says
The dragon leans forward and gazes at Donkey, revealing long eyelashes and a lipsticked mouth. Suddenly, it was all clear to Donkey.
"...a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. 'Cause you're just reeking of feminine beauty." Donkey says
Dragon flutters her eyes at Donkey.
"What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye?" Donkey asks
Dragon blows a heart-shaped smoke ring at Donkey, and he realizes what was happening.
"Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh..." Donkey says
Donkey fakes a cough.
"I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna be blowing smoke rings and stuff." Donkey says
Donkey turns around to his right and calls out for the Ogre and the Keyblade Wielder.
"Shrek! Devon!" Donkey calls
Dragon picks Donkey up by the tail in her mouth and happily carries him off, putting some sway in her large hips and swinging her long tail in a flirtatious manner.
"No! Shrek! Devon! Devon!" Donkey exclaims
Up in the tower, Devon and Shrek groan as they regain consciousness, pushing themselves up from the floor. The two heroes both shake their heads in recovery, and they rise up to their feet, dusting themselves off.
"Hey. You alright?" Devon asks placing his right-hand on the Ogre's left-shoulder
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Shrek says waving his left-hand
Their backs were to Princess Fiona, laying upright on the bed near the window. As a princess, she was a young woman of average height and slim figure with long, red hair parted in the middle with a single rope braid ponytail secured by a hair tie. She was fair of skin with freckles, light blue eyes, and wore pink lipstick. Though a bit startled, she was ecstatic to see her knight-in-shining armor, Shrek specifically. She straightens her green dress, lays back down, and then quickly reaches over for bouquet of white flowers off the side table. She lays back down and pretends to be asleep, clutching the bouquet to her breast. Devon turns to his right, being the first to notice the princess.
"Hey, Shrek." Devon says
Shrek turns to his left and sees Princess Fiona lying on her white bed. He walks across the room and bends down over her. Fiona puckers her lips, expecting her true love's first kiss. Instead, Shrek takes her by the shoulders and forcefully shakes her awake.
"Oh! Wha...!" Fiona says
"Wake up!" Shrek says
"What?!" Fiona says
"Are you Princess Fiona?" Shrek asks
"I am... Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me." Fiona says
"Ah, that's nice. Now let's go!" Shrek says
Shrek and Devon turn to leave, and Fiona quickly sits upright.
"But wait, Sir Knight! This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" Fiona says tossing the bouquet and lays back down, swooning with her right-hand resting on her forehead
"Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time." Shrek says
Shrek walks back, yanks Fiona's right-arm, and hauls her out of bed, towards the door with Devon.
"Hey, wait. What are you doing?" Fiona says
"Sorry for the rush, princess. We'll explain later." Devon says
"You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed." Fiona says
Shrek yanks on the door handle only for it to snap off.
"You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?" Shrek asks glancing back at the princess
"Mm-hmm." Fiona says nodding her head
Fiona screams as Shrek suddenly smashes the door down with his right-shoulder, still holding onto her arm. He and Devon rush down the tower's spiral staircase with Fiona in tow and grabs a torch off the wall.
"But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me." Fiona says
Shrek and Fiona cross over a moat of lava through a bridge connecting the tallest tower to the rest of the castle.
"A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!" Fiona says
Fiona pulls her arm from Shrek's grip. They stop for a moment at a two-way corridor as the two heroes try to figure out which direction to go.
"I don't think so." Shrek says
"Well, can I at least know the names of my champions?" Fiona asks
"Um... Shrek."
"And I'm Devon."
"Sir Shrek. And Sir Devon." Fiona says
The princess smiles, clears her throat, and holds out a white handkerchief in her left-hand.
"I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude." Fiona says
Shrek regards the handkerchief curiously as he takes it with his right-hand, sharing glances with Devon.
"Thanks!" Shrek says
The Ogre wipes his sooty face with the handkerchief, blackening it, and hands it back to an appalled Fiona. Before she can react, they are startled by Dragon's roar as she drops it to the floor.
"You didn't slay the dragon?!" Fiona says shocked
"It's on our to-do list!" Shrek says
"Come on, this way!" Devon says glancing back over his left-shoulder
Devon takes off running toward the direction of the dragon's roar. Shrek grabs Fiona and they follow him.
"But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did!" Fiona says
"Yeah, right before they burst into flames!" Shrek says gesturing at the skeleton of a knight laying against the wall, a charred outline of a man burned into the stone behind it
"That's not the point! Ugh!" Fiona says
Fiona pulls her arm free from Shrek and stops running. Devon and Shrek pause to look around and heads for a set of wooden doors ahead of them, passing a giant, bubbling cauldron and a cookbook on how to cook knights set against the wall on the right, which shows a list of ingredients on the left page titled: 'Knightly Treats', and the other page shows a knight cut into pieces along the head, arms, forearms, waist, legs, and feet, thusly titled: 'Choice Cuts'. Obviously, it was a book for Dragon.
"Wait, where are you two going? The exit's over there!" Fiona asks pointing her arm to her left
"Well, we have to save our ass." Shrek says turning back to the princess
"A friend of ours was taken by the dragon. We're gonna rescue him." Devon says
"What kind of heroes are you?" Fiona asks
"One of a kind." Shrek says
"Sit tight, princess. We'll be back." Devon says
Shrek quietly pushes open the doors, and the two heroes step out onto a balcony of large spacious room. In the center of the room, Dragon has Donkey wrapped up on her tail, sitting on a floor littered with a treasure horde of gold coins and jewels.
"Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. Look, I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just, just call me old-fashioned, you know. I don't want to rush into a... a physical relationship. I'm not... not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh... 'magnitude', really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude." Donkey says
Dragon gently caresses Donkey with a single claw.
"Hey, that is unwanted physical contact! Hey, what are you doing?" Donkey says
Dragon looks up at the gothic chandelier hanging above them and gently lights its candles with her fiery breath.
"Okay, okay, look, let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends, or maybe even as pen pals. 'Cause I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards to read..." Donkey says
Shrek and Devon jump off the balcony, grabbing onto a chain connected to the chandelier. The chain does not hang low enough for them to be able to grab Donkey and they swing over Dragon. The chain swings back and they end up dangling above her.
"Hey, y'know I'd, I'd really love to stay, but..." Donkey says
Dragon tugs at Donkey's tail with her mouth.
"Hey, hey, hey, don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail! You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission to..." Donkey says
Dragon purses her lips and gets ready to kiss Donkey.
"Hey, what are you gonna do with that?" Donkey asks
Shrek and Devon look up and spots that the chain is jammed above them. The Ogre starts shaking it to try and relapse it from the pulley. Suddenly, the pulley comes loose, and they start falling.
"Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!" Donkey says
Shrek and Devon land on Donkey and bump him out of Dragon's grasp just as she is about to kiss him. The Ogre and Donkey fall onto the pile of gold and jewels, while Devon lands in Dragon's tail, lying on his back. Instead of Donkey, she kisses Devon on the lips, much to his surprise. Dragon opens her eyes, and her surprise turns to anger when she sees him.
"Heh heh... Hi." Devon chuckles sheepishly waving his right fingers at her
Dragon roars angrily at the Keyblade Wielder. Shrek lets go of the chain he's holding, and the chandelier falls onto her head, which acts as a collar around her neck. She roars again and Devon jumps down to Shrek and Donkey, and they take off running up a stairwell, dodging a blast of fire from Dragon. Shrek grabs Donkey in his right-arm, then grabs Princess Fiona, who wandered into the room, with the other arm as he and Devon run past her.
"Hi, Princess!" Donkey greets
"It talks!" Fiona says surprised
"Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick." Shrek says
They all gasp as Devon and Shrek suddenly stop, having reached the end of the balcony. Before them was a fallen column formed into a slide of sorts. They glance back at Dragon as she spots them.
"Come on!" Devon says
Devon and Shrek jump on the fallen column and slide down it just as Dragon lunges to bite them. Devon slides down the column ahead of Shrek, Donkey, and Fiona, riding it like a surfboard. He sees a crack in the stone, leaps over it, and glances back over his left-shoulder to warn Shrek.
"Shrek, heads up!" Devon says
Shrek notices the crack, but unfortunately, it hits him right in the crotch. Shrek's eyes cross.
"Oh!" Shrek grunts
"Ooooh!" Devon says wincing at the sight
As he reaches the bottom of the slide, Shrek groans and stumbles off. Dragon chases after them, the chain of the chandelier still unraveling. They are chased by Dragon through the great hall, her chain looping itself around multiple stone pillars as Devon and Shrek zigzag around them. Dragon ends up in front of them and breathes fire. Shrek and Devon dodge the fire and runs away, leaping over several rows of chains. They soon come to a halt.
"Okay, you three, head for the exit!" Shrek says letting down Donkey and Fiona
Donkey and Fiona take off running with Devon leading them away, while Shrek grabs a sword lodged in the floor and pulls it out.
"I'll take care of the dragon." Shrek says
He sticks the sword through a link in the chain deep into the floor, then catches up with Devon, Donkey and Fiona, who are waiting near the exit, running in slow-motion.
"Ruuuuuuuuuuun!" Shrek says
They all sprint as fast as they can out of the castle and onto the rickety bridge as Dragon breathes a huge fireball behind them. As they reach the middle of the bridge, the fire burns the bridge, which snaps in half. The quartet hang onto the bridge as they swing to the other side. Donkey, unable to grab on due to his hooves, falls off, but Shrek catches him by his right hind leg. Fiona screams in horror as Dragon flies over the boiling lava to get them. Suddenly, the chandelier pulls Dragon back, the sword having lodged itself into a stone column and getting the chain stuck. The group quickly climbs up to safety. Dragon flies back to the castle, unable to follow, and lets out a defeated roar, then gives a sad whimper. As everyone goes to climb up the crater, Devon stops and glances back at Dragon, seeing the sad, lonely expression on her face. He did feel bad for the large creature and was considering on freeing her as well, but decides against it and heads off to follow Shrek, Donkey, and Fiona.
The first to climb out, Fiona gracefully slides down to the bottom of the volcano hill.
"You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing." Fiona says
Behind her, Devon slides his way down the hill, followed by Donkey, who tumbles down, hitting a rock that knocks him into the air.
"You're... you're wonderful. You're..." Fiona says
She turns to see Shrek slide down the hill and crash into Donkey. Devon leaps back, avoiding them, and turns to Princess Fiona with a sheepish chuckle.
"A little unorthodox, I'll admit. But... thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt." Fiona says
"A pleasure to help, princess." Devon says placing his right-hand over his chest and bowing to Fiona
"Ahem..." Donkey grunts clearing his throat
"And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?" Fiona says reaching down and squeezing Donkey's face
"All right, I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed." Donkey says smiling
Donkey blushes, causing Fiona to chuckle and Shrek to roll his eyes.
"The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight." Fiona says
Devon and Donkey gasp and make eye contact with Shrek.
"Uh, no." Shrek says holding up his hands
"Why not?" Fiona asks
"I... I have helmet hair." Shrek says pointing to his head with his right index finger
"Helmet hair? Really?" Devon says leaning closer to Shrek on his right and raising his left-eyebrow with a deadpanned expression
"Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer." Fiona says
"Oh, no, you wouldn't... st." Shrek says
"But, how will you kiss me?" Fiona asks smiling
"What?" Shrek says
Shrek backs away and bumps into a wall.
"That wasn't in the job description." Shrek says
"Maybe it's a perk!" Donkey says suggestively raises his eyebrows
"No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss." Fiona says
The trio both give Fiona a wide-eyed look.
"Hmm? With Shrek? You think... Wait, whoa, whoa, wait a second. You think that Shrek is your true love?" Donkey asks
"Well... yes." Fiona says sheepishly smiling
Shrek and Donkey turn to each other and burst out laughing.
"You think Shrek is your true love!" Donkey laughs
"What is so funny?" Fiona asks annoyed
"Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?" Shrek says
"Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now... now remove your helmet." Fiona says
"Look, I really don't think this is a good idea." Shrek says shaking his head
"Just take off the helmet." Fiona says
"I'm not going to." Shrek says
"Take it off." Fiona commands
"No!" Shrek says
"Now!" Fiona shouts
"Okay! Easy! As you command, Your Highness." Shrek says holding up his hands in surrender before bowing to the princess
Shrek shakes his head and takes off his helmet. revealing his Ogre self. Fiona looks at him blankly, confused but not frightened. Shrek awkwardly grins.
"You're... an Ogre." Fiona says
"Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?" Shrek asks scratching the back of his head with his right-hand
"Well... yes, actually! Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an Ogre!" Fiona says placing her hands at her waist before walking off
"Look, Princess, we were sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad. He's the one who wants to marry you." Devon says
The mention of Lord Farquaad prompts Fiona to turn around in surprise.
"Well then why didn't he come rescue me?" Fiona asks
"Good question. You should ask him that when we get there." Shrek says
Shrek turns to his right and removes what little armor was still left attached to him.
"But I have to be rescued by my true love!" Fiona says
Shrek silently mocks Fiona as he removed his armor, rolling his eyes.
"Not by some Ogre, a kid, and their... their... their pet." Fiona says
"Well, so much for noble steed." Donkey says
"And FYI, I'm 16." Devon says
"Look, princess, you're not making my job any easier." Shrek says
"Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell 'Lord Farquaad' that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here." Fiona says sitting down determinedly on a nearby rock with her arms crossed and her right-leg crossed over the other
"Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy." Shrek says pointing to the princess with his right index finger and himself with his right thumb as he advances towards the princess and spreads his arms out
"You wouldn't dare." Fiona says narrowing her eyes
Shrek picks Fiona up and puts her over his left-shoulder.
"Ah!" Fiona screams
"He dared." Devon says
"Put me down!" Fiona says
"You coming, Devon, Donkey?" Shrek says turning to his right as he started walking
"Oh, yeah! We're right behind ya." Donkey says
Fiona was now kicking and screaming.
"Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down!" Fiona yells pointing to Shrek with his left index finger
Fiona smacks Shrek on the back of the head and screams in frustration.
Author's Note: And there you have it. The defining moment of the Shrek franchise. Our heroes have rescued Princess Fiona from her dragon-guarded prison. Now, it's back to Duloc to deliver her to Lord Farquaad. And to XKfan12, I hate to crush all your hopes and dreams and I don't mean to discourage you, but any OCs you suggest, I don't think none of them can quite fit in with my stories. Not in the way I see them at least, but I do applaud your efforts. Up next: An Unexpected Romance. Let me know what you guys think. No flames please. Hope you guys like and don't forget to review!