CHAPTER 2 - Fighting my Ex
In the next day, Jeff woke up earlier than Axeley. Axeley slept on Jeff's couch, and woke up to the sound of Jeff typing on his computer, wearing the extremely dark blueish super armor uniform, with a helmet the size and format of his brain, and his 3 eyes were protected by special glasses with red lenses.
"G'Morning, new Roomate" - said Axeley
"Morning..." - Jeff answered with a happy, tired and careless tone while sitting down on his table, touching some hologram screens, typing on them, and not looking at Axeley.
But then, they talked for some minutes until Axeley realized he couldn't help Jeff that much with the planning.
"..interdimensional spaceship replicator?" - Axeley asked
"uh.. yeah. These things are less complicated nowadays: they're already done and we just buy their service" - Jeff answered
So, they both decided it would be better if Axeley focused on his training for the fight, leaving the planning to Jeff.
Axeley had a quick breakfast on Jeff's very sophisticated kitchen. He ate some pancakes with maple syrup that were already prepared, and, after a while, went outside for his run, like he does every morning, using a red sportive hoodie.
The palace had a beautiful natural and large green area with some trees, and was located close to the city's walls. The city had some arab-like styled mostly white or light blue buildings that had dark blue or blue round tops with pointy spears in the middle facing up. The whole city was surrounded by very fortified and huge dark gray concrete walls, with some few gray round fat futuristic and big vigilance towers right beside them, each circulated by a single horizontal line of black glass windows. The huge walls had a lot of pointy edgy tall metallic spear blades facing up. Honestly, they looked like prison walls; and were very intimidating. Some guards with golden astronaut suits with closed helmets and red visors only on his eyes (just like topian policemen), were on top of these walls, and on the watchtowers.
Some of them were around that greenish huge area of the palace, with white concrete sidewalks, green grass, and some trees, where Axeley was running while he was admiring the architecture of the palace, the garden, and of some other buildings around that city that were a bit far away from the palace. After running a full lap around it, he headed straight to the city's gates on those secure fortified walls. Some giant purple metallic gates with red circuit lines around them. A huge purple metallic monitor was stuck on the ground on the right of them, and a small keyboard on front of it with golden keys was outside under it. 2 guards with golden astronaut uniforms were taking care of it.
"It's been kinda dangerous outside. Do you really wanna go there?" - Said one of the guards
"I can take care of myself, Thank you. I am the only thing to fear around here"
"Hehe.. all right mr. Axeley" - The guard grinned with his only one eye that was visible through the helmet's visor, and typed in a password on the keyboard, and the door slowly came down underground 'til it was part of the floor
Axeley ran on the forest outside the gates, with actually no trouble whatsoever. Clumsy birds flew away from him, while he ran stepping on green and blue stains of grass, around the trees with purple stems, green leaves, and some of those trees had holes on them that looked like 2 eyes and a sad spooky mouth, looking at him. Arrows with pink arrowheads were still stuck on the trees. Some trees were damaged or cut in half. The forest had pink, and yellow bushes, around the trees, and also some green cactuses with orange spikes, and some flowers that were just round saws made of metal on metal stems.
When Axeley came back, he drank a whole bottle of water, and, after an hour of rest, started exercising and weight-lifting inside a Gym on Jeff's "Palace". While Jeff was still all hi-tech brainy and mad-geniusly typing and touching rectangular screen holograms inside his living room, sometimes stopping and drinking some strange blue colored juice in a closed white plastic cup with a straw.
It took 3 days for Jeff to perfect his plan. He mostly stayed locked in his living room rarely talking to Axeley, except on lunch time, or on dinner time, and after it. In the second day, both of them did the exact same thing in the morning. When Axeley arrived from his second day morning run, he saw a strange scene: A portal opened up on the ground, in the grass field outside Jeff's Palace, and an exact replica of the Battletoads and Doctor T. Bird's eagle shaped spaceship emerged from it. Axeley took a bath and then went to lunch with Jeff, and they talked for a bit. After lunch they had a reunion for their plan.
"So, let's start this business. You ready, friend"? - said Jeff
"Never been more prepared!" - Axeley answered
"So, I noticed the Queen is basically doing an 'OK' government so far in comparison to the Topians. But, the Topians had a TV show and appeared almost everyday on it, while she seems to be basically doing nothing, except some events and interviews, telling people to praise her no matter what. Which is already a little better than what the topians did, but not actual work, and really egotistic honestly."
"Yea I've seen it"
"Well I can't help but think of the intergalactic implications of what we are gonna do. If we stop the Queen and tell everyone how evil she actually is, the government of this galaxy will collapse and will need a new leader. And that could be me, but I don't want that"
"Aren't we getting ourselves into something too big?"
"Well, the galactic law will decide who else will be the new leader. I also have a backup plan for that. But we can't let that fake good Queen in charge. Think about what she could do to the Galaxy. I know this ended up being too ambitious of us.. It's ok if you wanna give up. I already thought of that once, but I'm not gonna stop."
"Hey man, I don't care. I might be famous here, but being an even more famous intergalactic Hero would be nice to me! It doesn't pay the bills.. But imagine how that visibility would be good for my fighting business. I'm the most legendary Lumberjack Gladiator! I don't fear anyone!"
"Maybe you should. But Yes, this is not just something personal anymore. It's bigger than that. So I thought very carefully on each step."
"And may the best team win! Let's finish them!"
Axeley and Jeff would do a high-five but instead they shook their hands in a position that kinda looked like they were arm wrestling
...
(2 days later)
Zitz, Rash and Pimple were out walking inside their city's shopping mall, while their taxi "T-Bird shaped" spaceship was parked on the parking lot outside. The parking lot was triple the size of the mall's area, an all black squared/rectangular asphalt open area, with white sidewalks and lines on the asphalt. Lots of different-sized and different-colored spaceship-shaped cars were parked around it, except on the main roads that lead to the mall's entrance.
From the outside, the mall looked like a black gaming pc case laying on the ground with white circuit lines and details. The corridors inside had a ground with black and gray floor tiles, on a straight way with stores on the left side and the right side, some round brown vases with plants of different types and colors, and every store had a dark colored wall of a different color.
The stores had colorful shiny logos outside it, in contrast with the dark walls, with shining colored blue, green, yellow and pink-purple neon lights spread around, and sometimes only on the text of the store signs, written in that weird Battletoads' universe language letters that only Rash doesn't know how to read.
Escalators with black stair steps and neon-lighted handrails on top of stair walls made of transparent glass, transported groups of alien people with different body shapes, different colored bodies and funny clothing styles upward and downward. The toads were done shopping and finally going down on one of these escalators with a yellow handrail neon-light
Rash: Wow look at that thing!
Rash said while carrying some white squared bags with his left hand, pointing with his right hand to a purple-platinum shiny flying turbo bike, parked on the middle of the mall's way, spinning around a pink circular ground piece, meant to be given away to a lucky winner who participated a gambling game with an entry fee
Zitz: focus, Rash. We're here to buy our gears and supplies only. We barely have money for anything else - said Zitz while walking and typing on some holographic list projected by his glove
Rash: Aw but we could win!
Pimple: It's Probably a Scam Anyway. I'm already a lot happy just by hanging out here - Pimple was smiling and carrying some heavier dark gray bags with fuel, and some gadgets, smiling and admiring that place
They had some purple slime-burgers and soda on the shopping mall's food court, then they went to the parking lot and entered their Taxi-spaceship.
Rash: I feel something is kinda... off
Pimple: what do you mean?
Rash: Our spaceship looks bigger than normal
Zitz: Yeah, because we went to the spaceship-shrinker when we used it as a taxi, and now we unshrank it a bit, so we could live on it, cuz we needed to stop paying for rent. Did you smack your head at something again on the way here?
The Battletoads and Doctor T-Bird's ship used to be huge, but it was car-sized since last time (Battletoads 2020 game ending), bur for some weeks now, it had the height of a 2 storey house basically and the length of a huge truck.
Rash: No, I mean, I think it's a little bigger than how we left it
Zitz: There's nothing wr... WHA
WHAAAA - All of them screamed together
Zitz didn't even finish his sentence when Gravity started pulling all the Toads strongly towards a wall;
Their bags scattered on the ground and got separated from them, while a squared aquarium-shaped rectangular glass dome fell from the ceiling on them, and they were locked in it
Rash: Dude, Zitz, you put a trap inside our ship?
Zitz: I didn't. Wait... Unless... this is not our ship!
Pimple tried to punch the glass, but he was electrified by an electric wall field, in response, before his fist could touch the glass. He was repelled away from the wall, and fell on his back
Pimple: Urgh... someone wants us to stay here
Rash: Zit, Can you deactivate it?
Zitz: hmm... - Zitz got close and crouched in a spiderman position, or a frog position, looking down closely to the wall and then he got up, analyzing it, but it was no use; The system that activated it was out of reach, on the ceiling of that glass rectangle: a small metallic rectangular technological hardware device, connected to a pillar of the same material, coming from the ceiling of the spaceship. They tried an attempt to escape
Pimple: Climb up on me, you can reach that metal box on the ceiling
The 3 toads were standing up like a cheerleader tower. Pimple was under Rash, who had feet on Pimple's shoulders, Zitz was doing the same on top of Rash who was holding Zitz's legs with his hands. Zitz was Trying to cut away that gray metallic box on the ceiling, transforming his right arm on a saw, but this activated some pink gas geyser that filled the glass dome
Zitz: My Face!
Rash: I can't see anything!
Pimple: You gotta be kidding me
the toads fell down on the ground separated and fainted asleep
...
The dark Queen was at her royal residence on her garden, outside of her castle, talking to someone through a small earphone. It was a purple medieval european styled castle, with a huge green open-area, surrounded by fortified dark purple metallic hi-tech huge walls with red circuit line details
"All right, all right, I'll have the Dark Hole Busters team ready tomorrow. Obviously. You can tell that to the journalists, it's an order." - she said - "...ugh. All this ruling the galaxy business can be such a pain sometimes"
Until her secretary called. A holographic image of her appeared on queen's arm - it was ''Ellie Saturnrings'', a light blue alien with a round head with two snail-like long ''eye-antennas'', that had yellow eyes on them, with black pupils. She had a dark blue lipstick, a dark blue short feminine hair, and a light pink dress
"My Queen, the Battletoads want to Speak with you, and said it's very important"
"Oh, long time no see. Wonder what those stinky amphibians want... Let me talk to them"
A holographic window with a video of two toads, a blue and a green one, opened up
"Hi Queen, this is Rash we're here to see you!"
"And.. we need a huge favor! this is Zits by the way"
"Ugh. What do you want?"
A loud beeping sound was heard while an emergency red holographic window appeared blocking the other windows, the calls were ended
"Holy crap..." - the Queen said while almost falling to the ground because her uniform shaked a bit
"Wait... My powers? They're fading! Not again!"
"Show me the substitute Darkwell status" - she said while typing on her arm and a holographic monitor came up showing some info like a transparent windows PC task manager, and beside it, a hologram picture of a round floating space rock that looked like a very small grey moon with a shiny purple core. That was were the Queen's Powers came from. The energy generated on that ''dark energy star core'' inside that moon close to the Queen's current home planet was linked by an interdimensional microscopic wormhole to the Queen's outfit. The queen shifted to a security camera image of her generator: a black rectangular and huge machine the size of a truck, with some small red buttons and an air vent the size of a car, inside a rocky cave with a hole that lead to that moon's core. That machine had now a very small squared bronze metallic abstract art sculpture piercing it, stuck on it, damaging it. It would explode in a few seconds
"AGAIN?! Nothing could have possibly...! unless someone..?! The topians could be back?! who?!"
A huge explosion sound was heard and it was possible to see a great orange 'star' of an explosion emerging in the light blue sky from afar
KABLaaammm*
"My Queen, the Darkwell has been compromised" - a window appeared with her secretary talking
"I KNOW ! you useless fool! I already checked that, you told me too late! Someone could be trying to invade the castle right now!"
After some seconds, the toads' ship passed the secure huge walls that were useless without the "dark well's" energy, and stopped floating above the open green grass area in front of the queen's castle lifting a lot of wind, blinding her. She tried to run to the castle but the castle doors locked because of the emergency system while she punched them and laid on the ground trying to hold on something, being pulled away
"NO! NOOO! What in the world..? aAAAaAh"
Dark Queen was abducted by a gravitational field leading to the ship and was locked in it. She stopped hitting a wall and was stuck on it. Her wrists got stuck to some sort of green round laser ring-shaped handcuffs and some pink gas came out making she faint asleep
...
Dark Queen had her wrists stuck close to her waist, on a metallic wheel that floated downward from the ship onto a really dark giant room, where she landed standing up, but stuck. It was some sort of giant bunker or storage place, with greenish metallic military base-like walls, on another planet. The spaceship landed far away from the Queen, on the same room, but couldn't bee seen in that very dark huge place with the lights out, except one: a floating drone illuminating a small area where the queen was
"...Hello, Queen..." - after a while, a sinister voice said in the dark with tree red eyes
"Who is there? Is this a joke?" - she asked
"Not really." - the male alien slowly got out of the shadows and revealed itself, a huge brain covered by a dark blue helmet, a dark blue super armor, utility belt, and boots
"...Jeff?! oh, it's just you..."
"Yes."
"So... uh... do YOU think you can challenge me!? HaAAHAAAHAAA..."
- she started laughing out loud hysterically - "poor little Jeff. Will you wet your pants again?"
"The galaxy had enough of you."
"What are you talking about? The galaxy loves me. Besides... loved your new outfit. Clearly inspired by me"
"You don't even know."
"How did you stop my darkwell?"
"Opened up a portal to your generator, and stuck something on it's main engine"
"All the energy to open up this portal..must've been very expensive"
"That's none of your business anyway"
"where are we, really?"
"Storeptune Seven. This place is rented..."
The other squared white lights on the middle of perfect-squared segments on the metallic dark green walls and ceiling came on with loud noises. Revealing the walls and a ceiling 3 stories high inside that room. The Battletoads were still asleep on that glass rectangular cell with a small metal box on it's ceiling, that was now ''disconnected'' from the spaceship, and on the ground a few meters away, right beside where Jeff and the Queen were
"So.. you managed to kidnap me, and the Toads? Formidable."
"I also generated a deep fake video of them and their voice using A.I. just to distract you and your security a bit"
"Not very impressive. And who's your giant minion?" - She said looking at Axeley who could be seen now a few meters away from Jeff, with the lights on
The Battletoads, who were asleep, woke up slowly in that rectangular glass cell and got up
Rash: Hey it's Jeff! And Axeley!
Zitz: What is all of this? Jeff?! Queen?!
Axeley: It's ME, toads! I came back for our round 2! And this time I'll defeat you all!
Pimple: ...Can't believe we're gonna be forced to fight this guy again
Rash: And Jeff is a Supervillain!
Jeff: NO, We are the Heroes! You Toads and this Queen, are Murderers!
Pimple: what?
Queen: Oh, me ? - Queen said on a sarcastic way
Zitz: We didn't do anything!.. I mean.. she did! but we did not.
Jeff: Oh yeah. So what's this?
A holographic screen comes out of Jeff's arm. Jeff shows a video of their black and yellow spaceship destroying other spaceships, and then an even more 'exclusive' video of Rash piloting the ship beside Zitz and Dark Queen, and saying: "I'm talking about murder!" (scene from Battletoads 2020 game)
Rash: Street Juustiice! haha, I remember this day
Jeff: The topians covered up your crimes to make you famous. I have a friend from the Topian police, so I got access to the apprehended ship and it's footage
Zitz: well...
Pimple: you two really have gone that far.. ? - said Pimple looking at Zitz and Rash
Jeff: That's it Pimps, YOU and your friends are murderers
Pimple: I wasn't there!
Jeff: Oh yeah? so, explain me this:
Jeff showed a video of Berserker Pimple close to Jason's cultists who were lead by that hippie woman Niquo, and he actually already had killed most of them. He was holding her, and he threw her from a cliff (a scene from Battletoads 2020 game)
Pimple: I... I freaked out... I "snapped"
Zitz: Wait! Those people were actually death cultists anyway.
Pimple: um.. hey that's true
Dark queen had a confused look on her face
Zitz: Man! WE saved the galaxy from the Topians! WE are the Heroes! Us AND the Queen. We helped her. That's the truth.
Jeff: But you MURDERED a lot of people with no apparent reason! With that spaceship of yours! And even more people, when some unhappy civilians decided to team up against you! and YOU helped put an EVIL QUEEN in the most powerful position of leadership in the galaxy! YOU are the villains!
Pimple: we did that to save the Galaxy from her... uh... emotional problems!
Zitz: Well... about that thing with the spaceship... - Zitz lifted his finger ready to speak up but stopped
Rash: Zit... we really did that... so... - said rash looking at Zitz and Pimple taking off his sunglasses, with crying eyes and with a crying voice he said - AM I A VILLAIN...?
Zitz: No!... man.. we are more like.. uh.. Anti Heroes on the worst case..
and.. anti heroes are more popular! and hotter than heroes!
Rash: Woohoo! then I like that! - Rash put his glasses back, screamed and lifted his fists up celebrating
Jeff: It DOESN'T matter! You COULD have murdered me too!
Dark Queen: oh Jeffrey, I knew you wouldn't die on that fall..
Jeff: But you threw me anyway and you know it hurts! Enough! I'm ending this!
Dark Queen: You're going to regret trying to take my throne. You WILL regret this Jeoffrey.
Axeley: And I will have my fair fight with you toads. This Fight is gonna be livestreamed on the internet by the way!
Rash: Cool !
Pimple Facepalmed and Zitz had a confused look on his face
Jeff pressed a red round Button on a remote controller. The green metallic ground under the toads' cell moved miles away on that humongous closed metallic green room, also moving Axeley who was now standing close to it, and a huge Aquarium shaped round glass dome the size of a football field fell on it from the ceiling, locking the toads' cell with Axeley. And then, the toads' cell opened up: the glass walls fell down on the floor, inside this other giant round aquarium-like glass dome, that had very resistant glass walls and a round glass ceiling: transparent but nearly indestructible. It was a huge closed arena were Axeley was ready to fight them again. All metallic green ground tiles shapeshifted with cyberpunk light-blueish particle lights, transforming on a light brown ground area that looked like a sports field, and an empty grandstand emerged from the ground, outside the glass dome. The whole place now looked like a sports stadium
The livestream started
Axeley: Let's go! Your punishment begins NOW ! ARGH I'LL SMASH EVERYONE
3,2,1, FIGHT
Axeley drank a whole bottle of Hot Pepper Sauce, and got on fire. He got a little bigger on size, and started waving and spinning his axe on fire, making the toads scream very wide-eyed. Axeley started throwing huge fireballs at the toads
Rash: I think he is "deforestating" himself. The man has gone crazy?!
Zitz: Spread out!
The toads dodged the fireballs, jumping and sticking to the glass walls, and then jumping to the ground again
Rash: any way out?!
Zitz: doesn't look like there's any! - Said zitz while trying a bunch of different tools (chainsaw, drill, jackhammer, laser...) to pierce the walls or ceiling
Pimple: Jeff please stop this! you don't have to be like her! We're Sorry! - Pimple Screamed lifting his arms and looking up
Jeff: Too late now. You're going under arrest when I finish this! - Jeff's hologram appeared from the ground close to them talking, and then disappeared
All of a sudden, Dark Queen manages to escape her prison snapping fingers and turning her handcuffs into pink energy that disappears; and then she starts floating on air
"You might have destroyed my main generator, but I still have more than enough emergency reserved power to take you on"
"We'll see about that" - Jeff summons an army of dozens of spherical drones flying behind him
"What? " - Queen smiled - " You wanna hit me with your balls Jeffrey?
"Ye- I mean, NO! STOP THIS you insufferable BITCH !"