SANTA

"And what would you like for Christmas?" Santa asked.

"A PS5," Kaminari begged. "Please?"

"Hohoho! You and everyone else! Next!"

Kaminari groaned and hopped off, while Tokoyami came over. "I seek darkness and despair."

"Hot Topic is on the third floor."

Dark Shadow whined and clawed his way towards an Abercrombie & Fitch while Tokoyami bodily dragged him to the elevator. As Ochako settled on Santa's lap, the man muttered under his breath, "Why am I doing teenagers this year? This is so awkward."

"Um, if you could make sure my parents get more construction contracts, that would be great! Oh, and my dad's back is bothering him, so-"

"Miss, is there anything that you would like for Christmas. For yourself?"

"For me? Well, I don't need anything. I mean, it would be nice if my shower got more than two minutes of cold water, or if I could buy single ply toilet paper instead of the quarter-ply I scavenged out of that garbage bin…"

By the time Ochako had finished divulging her impoverished hardships, Santa had tears in his eyes. He held out his wallet. "Here. Please buy yourself a hot meal."

Mineta strode up, and Santa let out a sigh. "Finally, a real kid. And what would you like for Christmas?"

Mineta stood on Santa's lap and whispered in his ear. Santa's eyes went wide, and he stared at Mineta in horror.

"Security!"

As the elves dragged Mineta away, he shouted, "I volunteered at an elderly home and a soup kitchen! I will have my-"

"NEXT!" Santa bellowed.

Aoyama pranced up. "Ah, I couldn't ask anything of you, for what could I receive that could outdo my own dazzling glamor?"

Santa held up a mirror. Aoyama took it and said, "C'est magnifique! Many thanks, Saint Nicholas!"

Tsuyu asked that he make sure her siblings got good gifts, Sato asked for an air fryer, and Shoto asked for him to accept Endeavor's bank accounts as a donation.

When Izuku came to the front of the line, Santa went pale. "No, please. I just got out of physical therapy!"

Santa tried to stand, but two elves held him in place. "The children can't see Santa running," they said. "It's in your contract."

Izuku strode closer. Santa fought, legs kicking. "Please, I'll give you whatever you want! Just don't-"

Izuku sat down. Santa screamed in agony. The screaming trailed off, and Santa opened one eye towards his legs. He wriggled his toes.

"My legs! They're not crushed!"

Izuku scanned his legs. "Indeed, they are not. I have gotten significantly better at judging the weight tolerances of people's legs since the incident. Your legs have an unusually high weight tolerance."

Santa pulled up his pants legs. The children oohed and aahed at the gleaming metal.

"These new legs are amazing! They're better than my old legs ever were!"

Bakugo leapt out of the crowd and smashed Santa's legs. "Aha! I knew the robots had kidnapped Santa! Now, where is he?"

"Not again!"

500

The world isn't ready to hear what Mineta wants for Christmas.