SPIES

As I-Island held one of its infamous tech expos, an excuse to bundle the world's richest people and ply them with enough wine to loosen their wallets, eighteen disguised guests prowled the floor.

"A-20 reporting in. Seduction of the waiter is underway. Also, couldn't I just bribe him?"

"The staff are frustratingly unbribable," Nezu said morosely. "Believe me, I tried."

"How much?"

"Enough to destabilize the American economy. Twice."

"Wait, that housing crisis was you?"

"You're breaking, up, A-20. Report back when you have elevator access. Over."

"Nezu, wait-"

Nezu switched radio channels. "A-9, report."

Nervous, timid muttering barely reached his ears. Nezu shook his head. "Right, forgot about that. A-10, how is A-9? Are the mice in position?"

"Mmph… thiff food iff amaffimm!" Chewing sounds came through. Tiramisu, Nezu guessed.

"I'll assume that's a yes." Nezu checked the camera feeds. They remained blocked. "A-16, have you made any headway accessing the security room?"

"I can't go in there! I'm naked!"

"A-16, we got you a costume ages ago. You are not actually nude."

"They're invisible clothes! Everyone will see right through them!"

"A-19, could you come help A-16-"

"Wait, no, I'll do it!" Nezu smiled as the camera feeds blinked on, just in time to watch Mineta, holding a camera and thermal imaging goggles, get dogpiled by half of the island's security team.

"A-12, A-11, report. Any signs of unusual activity?"

"If by unusual, you mean drunk, chatty women giving me a migraine, then yes. There's lots of that."

"Thank you A-12. A-11, any signs of Midoriya?"

"Neither of us have heard anything. Do you want us to try and sneak up the tower? The upper levels seem empty."

"Hold off until we get the sensors disabled. Speaking of, A-7, have you reached the power station yet?"

"Uh, I think we're lost? It said to take a left at the water closet, but all we've seen was a bathroom."

"The bathroom is the water closet."

"Oh… why do they call it a closet?"

Ignoring the question, Nezu said, "A-15, report?"

"He's still smashing robots," In the background, Nezu could hear Bakugo maniacally cackling and shouting, "Die die die!" like a deranged serial killer.

"Splendid! Ice him if he tries to enter the building. A-5, how is-"

A stream of rainbow vomit poured out of the radio. Nezu nimbly flipped out of his chair and stuck to the ceiling while his office got an impromptu pride month makeover.

Aizawa, at the door, soaked head to toe in dubious rainbow fluids, asked dryly, "You don't really expect them to succeed, do you?"

"Oh, heavens no! This is just a training exercise for them, and a distraction from the main event."

The vomit paused long enough for Ochako to shout, "WHAT!"

Over the radio, Nezu heard screams and explosions. Bakugo, with his arms and legs encased in ice, barreled through the automated defenses and ripped a wrist-watch off a man's arm.

"A-15…"

"I iced him. Should I have used more?"

498

I originally gave all the names of the students, then I thought it would be more fun to make you guess. I ended up shaving fifty words off the original draft and had room for a little more chaos at the end.