BORZOI

"This has gone on long enough." Nezu tapped the button on his intercom and said, "Hound Dog, to my office please."

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" Aizawa asked.

Nezu calmly sipped his tea. "Get the door when he comes in, would you?"

"Didn't they add it to the Geneva Convention after the last time?"

"There's a box of Death Wish coffee in the closet over there. Help yourself to some."

Aizawa lunged for the closet and threw it open. Shredding a cardboard box, Aizawa poured a silvery packet of coffee grounds directly in his mouth. He shivered as a dose of hyper-concentrated caffeine coursed through his bloodstream.

"You realize that I have an appointment with Shuzenji-san later, right?"

"Just tell her you got ambushed by the villain Espresso Man. It's a good thing your body is used to lethal doses of caffeine, or you might have died."

"In which case, I better have more so she believes it."

"Second shelf, behind the tea set."

China crunched as Aizawa hurled the tea set out of the way. This time, he brewed the coffee in a French-press before drinking it.

Hound Dog opened the door. "Nezu-san, you wished to see-"

Aizawa sprinted past him and slammed the door. Hound Dog looked back at him, then nervously at Nezu. "What's going on?"

Nezu set a music player on the desk. Hound Dog blanched. "No, please, not that. I'm still seeing myself for therapy from last time."

"It's for world peace, Inui-san. I have no idea what Inko is doing, and that terrifies me more than the existential dread that we all exist within five-hundred word segments of a pure crackfest of a work of fanfiction. So, off you go."

"No, wait!"

Nezu pressed play. A high-pitched voice sang, "Let me do it for you."

Hound Dog's eyes went vacant. His muzzle stretched out impossibly long and pushed straight through the wall of Nezu's office.

"Let me do it for you."

Hound Dog's nose raced over the Pacific Ocean, to where I-Island sank. It bent down at a right angle, plunging straight into the water.

"When all I do is for you,"

Reaching the submerged island, Inui's nose darted inside a building and passed straight through the force field. Grabbing Izuku by the back of the neck, Inui's nose shot back towards the surface.

"Kermie."

Izuku stopped just short of Japan's shores. Nezu watched an invisible game of tug-of-war play out and said, "Louder!"

He cranked up the volume. Izuku inched towards U.A. Nezu cranked the volume all the way, and the speakers exploded.

Hound Dog hacked and sputtered as his face returned to normal. "Gah! Sea water! In my nose!"

"Darn. I was hoping this would be easy."

"All I smell is seaweed and pain!"

Recovery Girl opened the door. "Did some sweetie say 'pain'?"

Nezu looked up at the Xenomorph standing in his doorway. "Right, forgot to change you back. How many chapters ago was that?"

497

Forty-three.