CLOWNS

"Why?" Kaminari asked glumly as he slathered white paint on his face.

"It's the only way past," Jirou said.

"I know!" Kaminari wore a red rubber nose. "But couldn't we do literally anything else?"

"Koda got a nosebleed trying to talk to that squid, and the air shaft's full of radioactive mechanical spiders."

Kaminari put on a rainbow wig. "Those would be better. If I get bit, I might turn into Mecha-Spiderman."

"Or you could go full Akira like that one guy who tried petting them."

"That still sounds better than the clowns."

"Oh, suck it up. Overcharge the security override so we can take the bathysphere up, alright?"

"Yeah yeah, I got it." Kaminari gave his rubber nose a honk. "If I die, I'm haunting you."

"Ditch the clown look first."

With a firm shove to the back, Kaminari staggered into a big, spacious room. Inside a giant pitched tent, one clown did a full dive into a glass of water and came out dripping and squelching with every step. Two clowns threw pies at each other and caught facefuls of whipped cream. A whole gaggle of clowns piled into a car, drove it off a ramp through a flaming hoop, then all ran out screaming with their hair on fire.

Kaminari gulped and walked forward. One clown noticed him and waddled over.

"Wa-hey there! Would you like a balloon?"

Kaminari put on his best clown impression and said, "Ya-ho! I'd love one!"

The clown offered Kaminari a balloon. Kaminari let the string slide past him, and the balloon disappeared.

"Yoinks!" Kaminari said. "How clumsy of me!" Then, for good measure, he honked his nose twice.

The clown squinted at him. Kaminari gulped and sweated nervously as more clowns turned to stare.

The clown burst out laughing and said, "That's a good one! Haven't seen that routine before!"

Heaving a sigh of relief, Kaminari hurried over to the security station as fast as his clown shoes would let him. Electricity flared all over as Kaminari fried the security console.

The moment he stepped out, silence greeted him. The heads of every clown swiveled around, some turning entirely backwards. One clown stepped forward, holding a big red balloon.

"Why, hello there Georgie!" the clown rasped. "Would you like a balloon?"

"Why yes I-" Kaminari saw his face reflected in the balloon. His wig was fried black, the nose melted off, and the face-paint peeled in charred flakes.

"What's the matter, Georgie?" the clown asked, voice deepening. His jaw unhinged, revealing dagger-like teeth. "We all float down here."

Kaminari screamed and ran. Seeing the clowns after him, Jirou and the others did the same. They reached the bathysphere, only to find the door jammed.

Clinging to Kaminari, Jirou said, "Guess we'll haunt each other, huh?"

Before Kaminari could respond, an unearthly shriek filled the hallway. A horde of radioactive spiders stampeded through, led by a masked, metal-skinned Koda.

"No way," Kaminari said. He grabbed a spider and said, "Bite me too!"

500

And so, that's how Kaminari became a Mecha-Clown-Akira-Spiderman. Stay tuned next time for whatever random wacky B.S. I shake out of my brain!