KIRBY

Poor old Dib, with hundreds of drabbles worth of dust coating his hunched-over frame, peered through his telescope. Sure, he could hardly expect to see any celestial activity smack dab in the afternoon, and he had raised more than one false alarm for passenger airlines and Chinese weather balloons, but Dib knew that today would be the day that he finally caught sight of the impending alien invasion.

He noticed a glimmer of light. Carefully angling the telescope, Dib peered closely at the object.

"Just a star," he muttered. He blinked. Looked back into the telescope. It was indeed a star, ostensibly star-shaped and heading rapidly closer to the school.

"The sky is falling!" Dib shouted.

One of his classmates groaned. "What is it this time!"

"Take that NASA! The sky is fake, aliens replaced it, and now it's falling! Look!"

Dib raced outside to get a better look at the falling star. He got such a good look that it crashed directly on top of him. From underneath its impact crater, Dib raised a crooked arm and rasped, "Avenge me."

A pink blob hopped off the star-shaped spacecraft. It blinked at the crowd around it and said, "Poyo."

The assembled students exchanged glances. "Someone get Midoriya."

Three people shoved Midoriya out in front of the alien, then everyone ran for cover. The alien inspected Izuku and said, "Poyo!"

"Hello. My name is Izuku."

"Poyo!"

Izuku's throat fabricated some higher-pitched vocal cords. "Poyo!"

The alien bobbed up and down. "Poyo poyo!"

"Po-poyo poyo, poyo!"

"Are they communicating?" Momo asked.

"I think so?" Kaminari scratched his head. "Does this mean this won't go horribly wrong?"

The alien opened its mouth impossibly wide. Wind blew wildly towards it as its mouth tried to suck Izuku in. Izuku planted his feet, and he left deep furrows in the grass as he drew closer to the alien.

"I just had to ask," Kaminari moaned as he clung to a tree.

Izuku opened his own mouth. His suction clashed with the alien's. The clouds spiraled downwards, as though caught in a bathtub drain, while trees were uprooted and consumed by the roiling, warped space between the two. Aizawa dangled from a flagpole by his scarf, Midnight was cuffed to a desk with fuzzy handcuffs, and Nezu raised a teacup, only for all the tea in it to trickle towards the growing void in his schoolyard where even light got sucked away.

Inch by inch, Izuku and Kirby grew closer together until the two touched. A blinding flash engulfed the area, and the consumed air, vegetation, and occasional student tumbled out in a violent explosion.

When the clouds rose away, only Izuku was left standing.

"Phew!" Kirishima said. "Almost thought they got you for a second, bro."

Izuku smiled. "Poyo!"

"Uh, what?"

Izuku cleared his throat. "Apologies. My vocal cords were stuck on pink blob mode."

As Izuku rejoined the class, both Bakugo and Dib glared at him and said, "I'm on to you, you impostor."

500

Kirby, bible and rosary in hand: Poyo po-poyo poyo! Poyo poyo, poyo poyo po-poyo!

Ibara Shiozaki, kneeling, hands clasped, and a tear in her eye: What a beautiful sermon. Amen.