Please be advised: the following content may horrifically traumatize anyone reading it. Attempting to read it aloud is highly recommended against and may result in asphyxiation, unintentional demon summonings, cease and desist orders from the British government, trips through the scary door, and squirrel attacks.
HAWTHORNE
Having brought Inverse to justice, by means of gratuitous destruction of property both private and public, energy emissions visible from numerous galaxies away that had caused multiple invasion fleets to send apology gift baskets and fly in the opposite direction at full speed, and the traumatizing of every witness by his casual display of city-leveling power, propensity for devouring inorganic substances with metallic mandibles resembling a Lovecraftian blender, and willful disregard for the laws of physics and the natural order of the world, and in the process sparing Japan the twin calamities of a Bakugou singularly determined to bring his fellow mankind under the metallic yoke of the artificial intelligence conspiracy of dubious existence and equally dubious concern for the affairs of the squishy meatbags of proportional intelligence and significance with which mankind regards amoeba, and an All Might utterly uncaring of his reputation or the safety of Japan utilizing his accrued months of vacation to hit upon every breathing sentient within reach, imbibe copious amounts of alcohol, and otherwise engage in all manner of decadence and debauchery, to say nothing of the other woes which Japan might have endured, ranging from an anarchist Iida committing arson, violating the rules at every turn, and undermining the governing bodies of the world, to an incel Kirishima, who would serve as a beacon of toxic masculinity for all the mouth-breathing neckbeards and unwashed discord moderators seeking validation from an individual so wretched that any other person by comparison would appear a venerable saint, Izuku Midoriya undertook the Herculean labor of rendering the slice of Japan demolished in the confrontation with Inverse and his inversed allies not only inhabitable once more, but wholly restored to its pre-annihilated state, from the eighteenth floor of a hotel recently acquired by an eccentric trillionaire inventor, atomized by a plasma cannon, to an Eastern Grey Squirrel, its fur singed but otherwise unharmed, shivering under Gran Torino's porch and wondering what cruel deity had plucked it from its hollow in a comely oak tree in Kansas to serve as an unwilling projectile in Izuku's mission to bring Inverse to justice by means both allowed and vehemently prohibited by the Geneva Conventions, which was made remarkably expedient by means of consuming and reassembling every atom in the area per the visual scans Izuku had acquired, including the aforementioned squirrel, which had experienced the additional trauma of staring down a wall of gyrating metal teeth before tapping its feet three times, wishing it was home, and reappearing next to its acorn collection, and thus restoring Japan to its former state, to serve as the stage for the next of Izuku's hijinks and sparing his mother the expense of repaving the city's streets, reconstructing businesses and homes leveled to their foundations, and rehoming a lost and terrified squirrel, which might have required the sale of schematics, which, in the hands of lesser intelligences, would render Japan once again demolished and a poor squirrel traumatized beyond its limited vocabulary of chittering imprecations.
500
Deku Ex just hit its two year anniversary! And what better way to celebrate than with the greatest abomination I have ever written.
I read a different story and felt my eyeballs bleeding when I ran into a really long sentence. The author did it intentionally, to fully capture a character's broken state of mind. I checked the word length. It was only 281 words long, and I thought, 'challenge accepted'.