NAUSEA

Aizawa glanced at his watch. Iida, noting that this was the tenth time in the past hour, asked, "Is there something you're waiting for, sensei?"

"Yes, actually. I'm waiting for hell week to start."

"What's that?"

A rope dropped down from the ceiling. Aizawa smiled and pulled on it. "This."

The floor opened up underneath everyone's desks. While everyone else fell, Ochako floated in place.

"You can't keep that up forever," Aizawa said.

"Just watch me." Ochako turned green around her cheeks, but she firmly crossed her arms.

"Oh I will." Aizawa took a spiky fruit out from under his desk. As he cracked it open, Ochako's eyes watered.

"No, don't tell me that's-"

"My snack." Aizawa scooped out some yellow fruit and chewed. "Quite a delicacy."

Ochako gritted her teeth and muttered, "Must. Not. Waste. Food!"

Aizawa raised an eyebrow at her, then took a paper bag out of his desk. He held up a toasted cricket for Ochako to see.

"Ooh, you're into insect meals too? They're super cheap, and they go great with that one hot sauce that's always on sale."

Ochako's words died in her throat when Aizawa put the crickets on octopus-flavored ice cream.

"No."

Aizawa stuck his tongue out.

"Please, I'm begging you."

He licked the ice cream up and down, teasing a cricket out of its frozen dairy prison.

"Stop! I'm gonna-"

In one bite, Aizawa swallowed the entire ice cream cone. Ochako gagged, but she kept herself afloat and vomit-free.

Panting, Ochako said, "Is that the best you got?"

"Well, I was going to save my final snack for later, but if you insist…"

"No wait, I was just kidding!"

Aizawa unwrapped a sandwich. Peanut butter dripped out of the sides.

"Really? I eat those all the time."

Aizawa opened the sandwich. Nestled inside the peanut butter were pickle slices and globs of mayonnaise.

"You monster."

"Ah, you're right. I forgot the most important ingredient."

Aizawa tipped a bag of popcorn into the sandwich. "Just isn't the same without that salty, buttery crunch."

"You're not crazy enough to eat that."

"Am I?" Aizawa raised the sandwich to his mouth. "Are you willing to bet your lunch on that?"

"You're bluffing! That combination of ingredients was never meant to be eaten. Even I never got that desperate, no matter how tight I made my budget!"

"Last chance to join your classmates."

"Never!"

Aizawa took a bite. As the crunch of popcorn and squelch of mayonnaise-contaminated peanut butter filled the room, rainbow vomit burst out of Ochako's mouth like a fire hose, rocketing her through the floor.

Aizawa removed the plugs on his nose, peeled the wax off his tongue, and pulled a plastic bag full of half-chewed food out of his esophagus. Then he turned to Izuku.

"Please join the others."

Izuku, hovering thanks to thrusters in his feet and back, shut them off and landed with a deafening clang.

As agonized screams rose from the basement, Aizawa said, "I love hell week."

500

Bonus points if you know what fruit Aizawa ate.