ELDERLY

Gran Torino waddled around the sidewalk, blindly peering around him and asking in a feeble voice, "Where was that taiyaki store again?"

1-A looked at Torino, then back at Aizawa. Aizawa gave them a predatory grin and said, "For today's challenge, we're going to take a break and focus on the humbler aspects of heroism."

"Oh thank god." Kaminari fell to his knees and sent thanks skywards. The students on the lower end of the grading scale celebrated similarly, but those with more acute minds remained wary of a trap.

"And what, exactly, is the challenge?" Momo asked.

"To help this elderly man cross the street."

"Really? At this time of day, in this part of the city, localized entirely within this section cordoned off for demolition?"

"Yes."

"Iida? Make it quick."

"Yes president!"

Iida fired up a Recipro Burst. He blurred towards Gran Torino, who fell face-first onto the pavement. Iida's fingers missed him by an inch, his toe caught on the old man's cape, and Iida careened into a load-bearing wall of an apartment complex. The entire building tipped over and crushed Gran Torino flat.

Everyone rushed inside the toppled building. They found Gran Torino lying next to a cracked window, with red splattered all over and wrinkly pink tubes spilling out of his costume.

Ochako raced over and started scooping up the mess. "Call an ambulance, call an ambulance!"

"But not for me!" Gran Torino landed an uppercut on Ochako's jaw and launched her through the wall-roof. 1-A gawked as Gran Torino wiped ketchup and sausages off his costume.

"That was sloppy. What are they teaching you kids these days?"

Ice raced across the floor and covered his feet. Tape lashed out towards him, and a volley of sticky spheres followed them. Momo made a net launcher and took aim.

Gran Torino grinned. "Now that's more like it."

With a burst of air, he popped out of the ice, leapt across the hallway, and wove through the barrage of sticky projectiles. He grabbed Sero by his tape, wound it around until Sero was mummified, and hurled him into his classmates.

Ochako lifted the whole building with her Quirk, and Gran Torino stumbled under the sudden shift of gravity. Iida ran like a hamster on a wheel, spinning the entire building, while Momo made gravity boots for everyone.

In the spinning building, Gran Torino leapt from floor to ceiling to wall, weaving around the infrastructure to land devastating kicks on anyone that charged him. By the time 1-A gave up, they had foot-shaped bruises all over, rainbow-colored vomit coated every surface, and the entire town had fallen to rubble. Gran Torino stood atop a pile of students and said feebly, "Wish I had some young man to help me across the street."

Bakugo, with Torino's foot squishing his face, said, "Fuck you geezer."

Izuku walked up with a plate of steaming taiyaki. "Here you go."

Gran Torino took a taiyaki and walked with him. The whole class groaned.

500

When Florida gators, human pretzels, and musty protein slurry aren't enough to make his students give up on life, Aizawa calls in a professional.