HEROIC AND AFRAID

Kaminari blearily opened his eyes as his head rattled against a stiff wooden board.

"Hey you. You're finally awake."

Kaminari leapt up. "Yes, finally! Skyrim, baby, here we come!"

The people aboard the wagon laughed at him. "Skyrim? Boy, this here is the Australian outback."

Kaminari gulped. "Is there at least a dragon?"

"Do alligators count? I saw one breathing fire, but I think it got into the kerosene."

The men tossed Kaminari onto the ground. Kaminari looked around, and said, "Fus Ro Dah!"

A rock tumbled over. Kaminari leapt for joy, until he saw the cassowary that had knocked it over. It screeched and ran straight for him.

Sato woke with a sloth on his chest, its claw digging into his neck. "Hi little buddy. Don't you belong in a tree?"

When he moved, he heard a loud twang. A crossbow bolt buried itself in the ground where he had laid moments before. In a tree branch, a sloth had a crossbow pointed at him.

"Is Koda playing a prank on me?"

A tree groaned and tipped sideways. Sato sprinted out of its path. A sloth with woodchips piled around it leaned against the splintered stump.

"What's the big idea! That almost hit me!"

A strong wind blew the leaves aside, revealing an army of sloths, all armed to the teeth. They slowly pulled triggers, pulled pins on grenades, and called in orbital strikes.

Sato ran for his life.

Ojiro woke slumped against the side of a boxing ring, with padded gloves on his hands. A kangaroo shadow-boxed at him from the other corner. He rolled his neck and stretched his tail until it popped.

"Kangaroo fight club? I'm down."

Tsuyu's stomach rumbled. A spider crawled along a fence post, and she snapped it up with her tongue.

More spiders dropped from trees and darted out from rocks.

"It's a good thing there's so many. I don't know what else I'd eat out here."

A shadow fell over her. She looked up and saw a towering mass of spiders crashing down at her.

"Kero… on second thought, I'm not hungry."

Koda huddled on the ground, rocking back and forth as the wildlife whispered and snickered around him.

"What a tasty morsel…" "I call dibs on his eyeballs…" "How long will we wait?"

Only one person could save him now. Koda shouted, "Crikey! Look at the size of that one!"

"Oh no…" "Not him…" "Didn't the stingrays get him?"

"Isn't she gorgeous!" Koda put on a khaki polo shirt. "Why don't we get a closer look."

"Run!" "Flee!" "The Hunter is back!"

Koda snatched a snake out of the bushes. It hung limply in his hands.

"What a beauty! Do you see the pattern on these scales?"

"It's too late for me," the snake mourned. "Save yourselves."

Back at U.A., Nezu watched the newest episode of Heroic and Afraid on live television.

"Training, publicity, and extra income all in one. You really outdid yourself this year, Aizawa."

497

This was going to get a funny segment of 'next time, on Heroic and Afraid': then it got long enough to be its own drabble. So, next time, on Heroic and Afraid: Bakugo go boom, Iida go vroom, and Izuku go mmm.