BIBLICAL

"Now that you have completed your advanced physical training," Nezu told the assembled 1-A students, "It's time for the next phase."

Momo made and handed out assault rifles, Izuku turned into a Metal Gear, and Mineta leapt towards an open window.

"Making your very own hero moves!"

The guns trained on Nezu froze. Mineta hovered mid-air before the window frame.

"Yes, your first hero move is a critical part of your growth as prospective heroes, and definitely not something we're shelling out because the author needs a quick cop-out for a twenty drabble series."

Nezu paused. No noises were forthcoming. "Cementoss? Did you forget to fix the fourth wall again?"

A letter appeared in Nezu's hands. "Right. Vacation exists. Anyways, we'll have one of the teachers demonstrate to show you how to proceed. Aizawa?"

Aizawa hung from the ceiling in his sleeping bag. "No."

"You know you're overdue for a new pair."

"Then get the new pair."

"Would you rather I have Present Mic demonstrate his?"

Aizawa sighed and opened his eyes. Everyone felt a tingle as their Quirks turned off. Aizawa's eyes opened wider, stretching impossibly across his face. Pink butterfly wings unfurled behind him, first a single pair, then another, more and more unfurling like peeled skin. Aizawa's body shrank into his head, and more eyelids opened, parting ears and nostrils and mouth and hair to reveal more staring eyes.

"Be not afraid, my children," Aizawa said in an echoing voice. "As with all things, this is only temporary."

Ojiro fell backwards. He felt behind himself and screamed, "My tail! It's gone!"

Shoji pulled the cover off his face and felt his smooth, human chin. "I'm a real boy!"

Sato blinked blearily in front of him. "Where did the room go? And does anyone know where the bathroom is?" His eyes rolled back, and he hit the floor like a sack of sugar.

Ochako vomited. To her horror, it was chunky brown instead of the usual rainbow appearance and flavor. Momo's bra shrank three sizes, Tsuyu finished a complete sentence without ribbiting, Tokoyami did chest compressions on his shadow, Ashido frantically covered herself in pink dye, and Hagakure was still invisible because she figured no one would notice if she skipped class.

Aizawa's voice boomed. "Let the world be cleansed of this impurity, and your souls shepherded beyond the veil."

His eyes glowed incandescent, and the world faded into motes of light. Then Aizawa's eyeballs exploded. He hit the ground, swearing and covering his empty eye sockets.

"Eyeballs, please," he hissed.

Nezu pressed a button. Another Aizawa walked in, yawning, saying, "Sorry I'm late, I-"

Nezu plucked out his eyeballs and slit his throat. As the second Aizawa bled out, Aizawa One blinked with their new eyes. "Make me do this again and I'm quitting."

"You really think I wouldn't replace you with a clone?"

"You'd have done it already if you were going to."

After Aizawa left, Nezu whispered to the traumatized students, "He's clone forty-three."

499

Izuku, calmly taking notes while everyone else panics and prepares for Rapture, underlines exploding eyeballs and butterfly wings.

The answer last chapter was Iida, btw. Boy be fast.

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