TERRY

"Ultimate Martial Arts Technique," Ojiro shouted at the top of his lungs, "Debilitating Tail Slam of Ultimate Villain-Smiting Justice!"

Ojiro slammed his tail into the test dummy. It flopped over and lay on the ground. Ojiro stared at Aizawa, and Aizawa stared back at Ojiro.

"No."

Ojiro threw his hands up. "You can't be serious."

"Your Hero Move requires a bit more creativity and effort than hitting an opponent with your tail."

"What about the name? The name had plenty of creativity and effort in it."

Aizawa snorted. "I thought Bakugo took the cake for his hero name, but you might have outdone him."

"Well, what the heck am I supposed to do?"

"Figure it out. I'm not paid to hold your hand."

"Fine. I will."

Ojiro came back half an hour later with a pistol duct-taped to his tail.

"Your Hero Move can't be a gun."

Snipe awkwardly coughed in the background.

"Yes I can. I can even fire it, watch."

Ojiro cracked his tail like a whip. The pistol went off. Izuku idly plucked the bullet out of the dent in his forehead and ate it.

"Okay, I'm still working on the aim, but you gotta admit that was impressive."

Snipe held up a board with 10 written on it. Aizawa glared at him, and Snipe dejectedly left the room.

"Try again," Aizawa said.

Another hour later, Ojiro's tail opened the door. It wore a brown trench coat, a fedora, and Groucho Marx glasses.

"Good afternoon, sir," Ojiro's tail said. "My name is Terry Tailington the Fifth, at your service."

"Ojiro, I can see you standing behind your tail."

"Why, whoever is this Ojiro person you speak of?" Terry asked.

"Ventriloquism isn't a hero move either."

Manga, waiting with a sock puppet by Vlad King's office, grumbled hiragana under his breath and threw the puppet away.

"Fine," Ojiro said. "If you don't like my tail so much, I'll have someone improve it."

Aizawa felt vaguely uneasy about that, but dismissed it. After all, what was the worst that could happen?

The next day, Aizawa burned a pair of eyeballs trying to stop a giant, skin-colored and blonde-haired leviathan from destroying the school. It ignored his Quirk entirely.

"I am Terry Tailington the Fifth!" the Leviathan boomed. "And you shall all pay for mocking me!"

Dangling at the end of Terry, Ojiro wailed, "I tried to stop him, but he won't listen!"

Nezu called the first number on his speed-dial list. Seconds later, Izuku ate a few buses, grew to the size of a skyscraper, and wrestled Terry to the ground. He jabbed a syringe into its neck, and the tail writhed as it shrank.

"You can't stop me," Terry groaned. "I will destroy you all!"

Ojiro experimentally flicked his tail and watched it like it might bite him. Aizawa handed him a pistol and said, "Your Hero Move is a gun."

"Thanks, though I don't think I'll be taping it to my tail anytime soon."

497

Ojiro really got the short end of the stick when they handed out Quirks, didn't he?