BADGER
Koda quivered violently as he set a dog carrier on the ground in front of a test dummy.
"Alright, Koda. Show me your hero move."
Koda gulped. His trembling fingers fumbled at the latch. He leapt back, and the cage swung open with an eerie creaking noise.
After a few seconds, Aizawa asked, "Well?"
Koda whimpered. He anxiously peered into the carrier and shrieked when he looked inside.
Aizawa ran over and checked. "It's empty."
Voice trembling, Koda whispered, "That's the problem."
An ominous rumbling noise coming from the test dummy. The dummy rattled. Its limbs ragdolled wildly, and its head twisted until its neck snapped. Its chest writhed. The foam skin distended outward, then burst in a shower of lacerated padding.
A snarling honey badger leapt across the room, ripping up the concrete floor and chewing metal beams into pretzel knots. Aizawa flung his capture scarf at it, and the carbon fiber weave ripped apart like toilet paper.
A ceiling grate popped open, and Nezu leapt into the room. "Don't worry, I have it under control. I'm part honey badger."
"That explains so much," Aizawa deadpanned.
Nezu hissed and chittered at it. The honey badger raised its hackles and tackled Nezu. After a brief scuffle, Nezu limped away, his fur torn to patches and tea leaking from a hole in his gut.
"My honey-badgerese is a bit rusty. I may have insulted its mother."
The honey badger let out an unearthly shriek. It rammed into the wall and left a honey badger-sized hole.
"Uh oh."
People screamed, car alarms blared, and buildings toppled as the honey badger tore its way through downtown Musutafu. Miruko leapt in and got flung into the ocean, and the honey badger suplexed Ryukyu, in dragon form, through six feet of concrete.
"Think Endeavor is available?" Nezu asked.
Aizawa scoffed. "You think he'd have a chance?"
"Of course not. Seeing him get torn to shreds would be cathartic."
The honey badger froze and sniffed the air. The ground exploded underneath it, and a green honey badger tackled it into the sky. Clouds exploded and windows shattered as the two badgers dueled through their descent. They hit the ground with a massive shockwave, and a cloud of dust shrouded the crash site.
As the dust settled, the honey badger pulled. The green impostor's head screeched like torn metal, and with a sharp snap, a metallic spine tore free of its body. The honey badger shrieked a victory cry and raised the severed head into the air. A disembodied voice boomed, "Fatality."
Aizawa sighed. "We're dead."
A rhythmic tap-tapping sound broke the silence. Recovery Girl hobbled over to the honey badger, oblivious to its hissing and snapping teeth.
"Oh, hello dearie. You're looking a bit scuffed up. Would you like a gummy?"
Recovery Girl popped a gummy bear in the badger's mouth. Its pupils dilated to the size of golf balls, its legs locked up, and it toppled over with a ponderous thud.
"There. All better!"
499
Who would win? A shapeshifting AI wielding Lovecraftian superweapons and copyright infringements, or one snarly boi?