SLIPPERY

Mineta, gaunt-faced, pale, and shaking, walked bow-legged into the exam area. Aizawa swaddled him in his scarf and said, "Nope. I will give you an extension on the due date."

Mineta peered mistrustingly at him. "You never give extensions."

"You know the saying 'sick as a dog'? You look like you ate that dog."

"Relax, I'm fine. It's part of my Hero Move."

"You have no idea how little that reassures me."

"Really, it is! You know how the stickiness of my spheres changes depending on how firm of a bowel movement I had the night before?"

"I slept better before I had that unfortunate scrap of information seared into my occipital lobe, but yes."

"Well, I started wondering, what would happen if I had the opposite, a bowel movement so loose and runny that-"

"I'm going to stop you right there. This drabble is rated T for Toilet descriptions not allowed."

Mineta held up an empty paper bag. "Well, I went to Taco Bell."

"Oh no."

"And I got two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."

"No."

"And I ate them all."

"Mineta."

"It was like chocolate syrup."

"Mineta, the T rating. Stop."

"And because of it, I have unlocked the final form of my Quirk. Its ultimate power. Villains will tremble before me, and all the babes will flock into my arms."

"One of those things is definitely true. But with laughter"

"Behold my power!" Mineta plucked a sphere off his head. It slumped and sloshed around like a water balloon. He stared down the target dummy, aimed, and threw.

Mineta missed by a mile. It ended up not mattering, as the sphere popped and unleashed a deluge of slimy purple gunk that slithered across the floor. The moment it reached the test dummy, it tipped over, landed in the gunk, and shot like a rocket at the nearest wall. It left a dummy-sized hole through two feet of concrete.

"You see, Aizawa-sensei?" Mineta asked, proudly standing in the middle of his teflon-fluid puddle. "I have achieved negative friction."

Aizawa hung from a rafter, hissing and clawing as the fluid worked its way up the walls and towards his scarf. "Mineta, please get rid of this."

"Alright, just give me a second, I'll-" Mineta's stomach rumbled ominously, like an active volcano ready to burst. "Oh god. It's happening again."

"Mineta. Mineta, just hold it, I need you to-"

"Bathroom!" Mineta sprinted through the wall, leaving a second hole right next to the dummy's. Aizawa glared at the oncoming fluid, but his gaze slid right off the frictionless material. The moment it reached his scarf, it swung in circles like a sling. The scarf snapped, and Aizawa flew at the wall, leaving a third hole.

Izuku poked his head through. "Hello? Should I break a fourth wall?"

The wall crumbled around Izuku, and Cementoss violently swore in the background.

500

The chihuahua was held at gunpoint. Change my mind.