MIRROR

Class 1-A grumbled as they cleaned their dorm building. In the bathrooms, Kaminari said, "Hey man, come help us out! You're basically a robot, can't you do this all in an instant?"

"I am still busy cleaning this mirror to the fullest extent of U.A.'s specifications," Izuku answered.

"You said that an hour ago! How dirty is that mirror?"

"There are still a few carbon atoms clinging to its surface."

"Let me see that."

Kaminari pushed Izuku aside and looked in the mirror. "See? Spotless. Now come on, we need to-" Kaminari froze as he took in his reflection. "Whoa. What are- are those things crawling on my face?"

Kaminari shrieked and dunked his face in the nearest mop bucket. Bakugo kicked him out of it. "Hey, stupid Pikachu, I was using that!"

"On my -bugs, crawling all over!"

"Koda, tell the bugs to quit it!"

Koda looked up from vacuuming and shrugged. Growling, Bakugo dragged Kaminari back into the bathroom and said, "Right, here's a mirror. No bugs, see?"

Kaminari cautiously looked, shrieked, and clawed at his own face. Unnerved, Bakugo looked in the mirror and said, "What's up with this thing? Is he really seeing- whoa. Damn, did I always look this good? My skin's flawless! I can see every pore in this thing, and they're works of art!"

"Wha? No way, let me see!" Mina pushed past and leaned in close to the mirror. "Hey, I don't see it, I just see this nasty, pink, crusty – wait is that my skin? I need moisturizer, now!"

Mina cupped her hands, made some acid, and slathered the bubbling mixture across her face. She screamed with her mouth shut as smoke wafted from her skin.

"Excuse-moi, I heard there was this most magnifique mirror and I just had to check it out!" Aoyama twirled and examined himself as sparkles shimmered around him. "Ah, yes, most excellent! As sparkly as – oh my god the sparkles are dandruff."

Aoyama muttered to himself in French as he drowned and scrubbed his hair. Tokoyami, drawn by the sounds of madness, hesitated before the mirror. "Here lay the abyss. Dare I look?"

"Do it! Do it!" Dark Shadow egged on.

"If the darkness compels me, so be it." Tokoyami looked. A shaky hand rose to caress his beak and facial feathers. "Oh wow. This luster. I had no idea my feathers were so beautiful."

"See?" Dark Shadow crowed. "I told you!"

"And ugh, they clash so horribly with all this black I'm wearing. I should get something more flattering, maybe pink-"

Tokoyami's eyes widened. With a wordless shriek of fury, he lunged at the mirror. "Foul temptation! Be cleansed from this world and trouble me no more!"

Dark Shadow grappled him. "Give in! Embrace the femboy side of the force!"

"Never!"

While they wrestled in the background, Shoji walked past the mirror. His true visage appeared for but an instant on its surface before it shattered in a million shards.

"Oops. Did I do something?"

500

Fun fact – we actually have mites living in the hair follicles on our face, called demodex. When you sleep, the mites come out of your skin's pores, mate, then go back into your skin to lay eggs. I only knew about the having face mites part, decided to look it up, and became cursed with terrible knowledge. And now, so are you!

Sweet dreams.